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QualityVote

##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/w50xhu/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/w50xhu/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2Fw50xhu&id=8968e43c) Kevin would also like to remind you that, if you're really desperate, youtube-dl can be used to download videos from Reddit. --- Whilst you're here, 6Kinker6Bell6, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?


Mr_Richman

In sixth grade I founded a stasi-like organization to eliminate dissenters.


BekoM864

Bro wtf we had elections too but this guy started eliminating opposition leaders at 6th grade💀


Mr_Richman

Oh no, we didn't have elections. I installed myself as leader through the invention of imaginary points. If people groveld, bowed, gave me gifts, or otherwise acknowledged my superiority they would get points, those who didn't lost points, and at the end of the year whoever had the most would "win". The opposition were those who actively encouraged people against participating.


pan_zhubnikaz03

Mf understood real politics from 6th grade


BekoM864

Wtf bribing? This is real politics


[deleted]

When a mf founds East Germany again


lolguy103

Social credit points


Helpimabanana

Ya know, weirdest thing, I did almost the exact same thing, but instead of imaginary points I used acorns, and somehow I convinced 4 classes(2 4th grad 2 5th) to follow my orders for a solid half a year until peoples parents stopped them from hoarding the acorns I gave them


Memey_Boy13

In 5th grade we had a war between classes, every class president represented as their leader, it was a disaster


Rahuldeb5

The Germans shall rule all again! 😤


Purveyor_Murmrgh

My left ball is sewn in place


TitznWasTaken

Sewn? I'm scared to ask is it like a Caroline situation or like hospital/boring way


SneaksIntoYourBed

Sleepover prank.


Bleikk_18

"Prank him John!"


ihatecomicsans11

HE KNOWS


Purveyor_Murmrgh

Surgically


TitznWasTaken

Yawn 🥱


TitznWasTaken

Mine comes off like an actual hardware nut


[deleted]

pocket apparatus cover juggle placid angle deer threatening historical imagine *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Scydor

Mine got castrated and replaced with bakugans


curseddraw

Do they explode if they go near metal?


Crusader_Genji

That's one way to bust a nut


TitznWasTaken

It sucks because I have to remember the right socket size each day because I forgor 💀


AutoModerator

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dildomiami

sewnballbrothersunite 💪


Efficient_Process893

Mine too


Anonymous_360

My friends one ball is sewn into place the other one is surgically removed


Healthy-Surround-229

Me and my brother had secret tickle time on a camping trip


platonicthehedgehog

Sounds like an excerpt from a quandale dingle video


JingamaThiggy

My brother wandale bing chingdingle tickled my tip during secret tickle time


_ANDREA_06

Secret tickle time?


HashBrown2231

this most definitely does not demand further context, we've heard enough


chug-mug

Alabama camp surely


ARandomGuyThe3

It isn't true if you don't show pictures


TheBlueCultLeader

I hope you aren't traumatized and are in a dark light mood, better than just a dark one.


matteow10

he listens to tha music through his healthy surround system, bro doin just fine


RIP2UALL

Oh hell no.


DoctorSex9

I fucked a computer


RaySwift17

Computussy 🤤


Otomatik_Mandalina

Cumputer 😩


TOOOPT_

Instructions?


DoctorSex9

Make a hole in the computer, put your dick inside, cum


Crusader_Genji

Pretty fucking metal


Starman064

I’d agree. He was most likely fucking metal.


nignog1996

But is he pretty?


TOOOPT_

Instructions unclear Computer fan went brrrr


EnderWin

and thus the meat stick is no more


randomserbiandude

plankton


IGNisAzoipp

And so the police showed up and took the 7 year old from me😡


Intelligent-Fuel1485

It’s your child right?


-B-r-0-c-k-

Right?


x_Pingu_x

**R I G H T?**


ZenithWhoExists

We keep hoping it’s his child but what we fail to realize is that this could make it much worse.


J-c-b-22

#RIGHT???


KGx666

Why did they do that😢 he was fine chained up in the basement😡


QuandaleDingle696942

Pringles lid caught on fire my whole hand suddenly enveloped in flames.


yerboiifatkid

What the fuck is a Pringles cloud


Scary_Apartment

It’s like a cloud but made of pringles


sweetTartKenHart2

I lost a spelling bee one time and had to go to therapy for semi related reasons


thecoolestnewt

Tell


Wolff_Hound

He got hit by semi on the way home.


[deleted]

the word was 'iridocyclitis'


chamandana

he had to spell negus


Mario-2407

I shit my pants 😔


Tadano-kunn

I fapped to your comment bro


Capt_Kartar

Bonk!


PIukii1

Happy cake day


GovernmentAncient811

Context?


Mario-2407

I was walking, and then I shit my pants 😔


IGNisAzoipp

But did you shit your pants😨


Mario-2407

Yes 😔


AdministrativeBar748

This story was so sad, I came.. 😔


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrKeviscool

He fegor 😔 (sad fegor)


yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeu

I've been deeper in the ocean than I've been high in the air.


QuandaleDingle696942

Malaysian flight 370?


Syn_Contamino531

#“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines flight 103.”


shadyShiddu

Ffs it actually rhymes


Boumallo

James Cameron ? Is that you ?


drakeyboi69

Yo that's actually really cool, how?


1000YearGay

He went diving once and never went on a plane


drakeyboi69

Yeah but u just need to go to the 2nd floor of a building and you're already higher than I've been deep


Brendan765

I just have to stand on my bed or something


guythat-poststuff

ive been deeper in your mum


TioupBR

Wow, surprised that autom*d didn’t answer you.


stimogandonov

I was once a dumb kid, but since I got electrocuted by shoving my finger in the socket I had gotten better grades and a larger awareness of the world.


_ANDREA_06

I did that once too 🤓


[deleted]

same


SusSauceIsSus

me too tought i still dumb 😞


AutoModerator

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Almost felt like she was alive


rodgek8

🤨


Red_Six6

W H A T


Dense_Chemical_4018

What do you mean by that 🤨


thedonoughter

I knew I couldn't trust the chickens


M_a_l_t_e_s_e_r

POV: you're Mr. Tweedy from the hit movie chicken run


yerboiifatkid

Wow! I love the hot movie: Chicken Run which was directed by Nick Park and Peter Lord!


TheCauseOfDepression

-and then I shot Hitler.


Syn_Contamino531

Your a good man.


pokefischhh

Wait.... i know you


Havange

You're making a mistake


fast328

I'm with the Thieves guild


Havange

I can make all your problems with the guards go away. But it'll cost you. What do you say?


Jakedex_x

Johnny Hitler is that you?


[deleted]

. . but Hitler shot Hitler.... wait.... it can't be


mmbccc

you are my hero


TachyonProductions

We should make a statue of you 👍


GeeTwentyFive

Sniper Elite DLC pog


ForgottenKingRade

I laughed at a 9/11 presentation featuring falling victims


TomTheTrain6902

I did the same but with a Chinese protestor getting shot in my history class


masterofreality2001

There was a Chinese protester in your classroom, and someone was shooting them?


ThisAreTom

Too soon


pissmyster420

Mfs when Uvalde memes:Ok Mfs when 9/11: Too soon ?????


TheBlueCultLeader

I remember I was in french class and my French teacher loved also teaching french culture and once he was showing pictures of french famines and a kid in the class went "that baby looks dead" and he just goes "because it is" I started laughing so hard because the baby looked like Radioheads the Bends album cover. But he went on too explain why it was dead and it all made sense at the end of the day.


GarfieldsFollower

My greatest injury happened while i was singing about waluigi


ClitOreIs

I complimented a monkey drawing which was conveniently placed on the desk of a black student.


Wehrmicel

One sentence before disaster


Velpex123

A single comma is the difference between a compliment and racism


[deleted]

"bro can I copy your face" "you mean my homework right?"


[deleted]

So that's the story how I got an Optimus prime stuck in my ass.


h-y-p-h-e-n-

Are we talking core class scale, or voyager class scale?


KingSungazer

Maybe even leader class 😳


junkiedetective

My first kiss was right after I have been attacked by a boar


matteow10

my first kiss was when... oh... wait... it wasn't 😔 Edit: but I ate boar sausage 😏


junkiedetective

Dont worry pal one day you will find the one you love and you'll both kiss... or you can just hire a hooker but having your first from a hooker is cringe


ded820

So I was sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tities.


Miri_812

You win


fourth_box

BRB gotta get my chicken stick ... for the dipping sauce


tootselo0ts

The homie watched me get rejected and then proceeded to make a Marvel reference


Mmaster24

I am sorry little one


Level34MafiaBoss

Uh, that just happened.


Catvomit96

I ran a black market trade in my middle school despite actively discouraging said market


[deleted]

My balls were in my mouth


Americanshat

***You've done something all men have tried atleast twice in their lifetime...***


idkwhattonamethis67

They claimed I shit the bed, it wasnt me.


The_Drawbridge

It was Amber


AutoModerator

am i the only one who fantasies about amber pooping in my bed? we love you amber ever since i heard that our queen poops the bed it's all i can think about. j*hnny was so lucky to have a woman like her... too bad he turned out to be a sexist abusive incel and completely destroyed any chances of that ever happening to him again edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


DanKou237

What du fuck?? Those automods are wild as hell


Ojochimuelo

I woke up in the middle of the road, running as my mom pulled me by the arm, yelling at one of four incoming pickup trucks: "don't shoot, whe are just tourists on a family trip". I was 7 and it took me over 20 years to process it.


ThePixCell

I pissed in a 12 year old boy's bottom drawer...after I fucked his mom.


Magic_ass1

burnt my ass and broke my thumb


Revilod2000

Shoving your thumb up your ass with furious speeds


TheSuperiorRobo

i made a penis door in minecraft once actually twice, there were 2 prototypes


AutoModerator

I (f34) am pregnant with twin boys and my husband (m34) told me that he was dead set on naming our sons "notch" and "jeb" I know most of you are probably unaware, but these are the names of two of the people who created minecraft. My husband is a big minecraft fan and builds stuff on the game a lot and has minecraft posters, he even said he wants to play minecraft with his Sons. I told my husband that I want to give our children regular names, not after minecraft because they are not objects, and my husband got really defensive about it saying that he should be able to choose because he is their father and I never gave any name suggestions. I will never name my children after minecraft because I don't want them to get bullied and feel like it's dehumanizing to name them after a game. I told my husband that I'd rather get a divorce than name our kids after minecraft and he got really angry and raised his voice. I'm pregnant and my hormones maybe made me really emotional because I started crying. A few hours after that, we calmed down and I asked him again and he said he will for sure name the kids "notch" and "jeb" AlTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Red_Six6

Instructions?


100cicche

Me and the UN army have different opinions about the appropriate way to talk to a pigeon


AutoModerator

okay so basically there's this guy and uhh ⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⢈⠩⢙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ ⠨⢂⢂⠁⡀⠀⠀⠁⠐⠈⠐⠈⢈⠈⠐⡀⠄⠁⠌⠈⠔⣄⡀⠠⡑⡂⠆⠢⢂⠑⠽ ⡨⠐⠀⠀⠀⢠⡎⡀⠀⠀⠄⠈⡀⠌⠐⠠⠈⠄⡁⠂⡀⡫⠑⣑⠀⢂⠌⠄⢕⠀⠨ ⠺⡪⠢⡀⠀⠞⢇⢂⠀⠂⡀⠠⠀⠄⠁⠌⠨⠀⢄⠢⡁⢂⢿⡟⡀⠀⠈⠈⡀⠂⣰ ⢀⢀⠀⠄⠀⠀⡐⠀⡈⠄⡐⠅⡊⠌⢌⠄⡕⡑⡁⢂⠂⢂⠸⣿⡄⠀⠈⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⢐⠔⠠⠀⠀⡐⠠⢈⠢⢑⠄⠑⢈⠊⡂⡱⢁⣂⢌⢔⢌⢄⠀⠹⢀⣺⡿⣟⢿⣿⣿ ⢀⠡⠁⠂⠐⠠⠈⠄⢈⠠⢈⢢⡣⣗⠕⠄⣕⢮⣞⣞⣗⣯⢯⡷⡴⣹⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠊⠄⠠⠠⠡⠈⠠⢐⠠⡊⡎⣗⢭⢐⠹⡹⣮⡳⡵⣳⣻⢾⣻⣽⣻⣺⣺⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣨⣾⢐⠰⠐⠅⡂⡂⢕⢜⢜⢵⢹⢑⢔⠨⢘⠸⡹⡵⣯⣻⢽⣳⣻⣺⢞⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡔⠠⢈⠐⠐⢠⢱⢸⢸⢸⢸⠰⡡⢘⢔⢕⠝⢮⣳⢽⢝⡾⡵⡯⣏⠯⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⢅⢢⠠⠡⠢⡱⡑⡕⡕⢅⠣⡊⢨⢪⡣⡣⡂⡬⡳⢽⢽⢽⢽⣞⣧⠙⣿⣿ ⡻⣿⡯⡪⠢⡡⠡⢑⢌⠪⡪⡊⠆⢌⠪⢐⢕⢱⢱⢱⢱⢱⢙⢮⡫⡟⣞⢮⣳⠙⣿ ⠊⣿⣯⠪⡊⠄⢅⠂⢂⠁⢇⢇⢃⠂⢕⠐⠌⡲⡰⡡⣇⠇⢇⢕⠪⠉⠂⠅⠂⡑⠹ ⣸⢿⣳⢱⠨⡐⡽⡿⡶⡾⡬⡢⢂⠅⡢⢡⣌⠐⠈⢎⢎⢎⢔⠠⠡⠠⠠⠡⡁⡂⠡ ⡯⡯⡇⢅⠕⠠⢱⢹⡙⢮⢹⠨⡂⡂⢇⠌⠮⡳⠅⡂⢕⠡⡑⠠⢁⢁⣡⣡⣢⣶⣿ ⣗⢽⢌⡢⡡⡡⡸⡢⡣⡣⡱⡑⠔⡈⢎⢆⢂⠂⠅⣢⡳⣽⡐⢅⢂⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


One_Jelly_6210

I fell off a bridge and my mother laughed


depressed_fatcat69

Lol mine was that i almost lost my right eye and my grandpa just laughed at me while everyone was panicking


One_Jelly_6210

We are brothers in comedic injuries


chalower4

My ass was once penetrated by a corn stalk.


Hackerman7803

Reminds me of my buddy Keith


wisho1926

Ellis ?


Sewer_Thing

My uncle slapped me with an eel


fourth_box

Was the eel okay?


Greenie_Protogen

ok quandale dingle


Subtobrittanymilan

In 5th grade, me and ozzy osbourne went backstage with coke


msishina

All she saw was me holding a blood filled towel over my little 9 year old right eye.


rkan91

i fart on my sisters face


[deleted]

Nice


Red_Six6

I also fart on your sisters face


rkan91

why


Mackaronimack

When I was seven I placed a nail face up on the floor so my brother would step on it barefoot


VaporeonLover2

My mom once told me to not throw a grenade at my brother


RAVIOLI_FISHY

My neutered dad blows up a condom and pokes me with it as my younger sibling is complaining about wanting more of those balloons.


GamersluckPro

I have a certain amount of things somewhere


ThisGuyLikesCheese

39 buried, 0 found


JiriVasicek

i grafted tomato plant on potato plant


Syber2150

Chow mien and a destroyed microwave


Green_noob

And then I tasted a small bit of the dog poop I found on the roadside


Western_Policy_6185

For a period of time, I could fully drink from a straw without using my mouth. (Not my nose.)


BigMess2212

Le PP


point925l

Tracheotomy?


MyLifeHurtsRightNow

I was admitted to the children’s hospital with moderate depression and was discharged with PTSD, a gnarly scars up my forearm, a tremor in my hand, and a foaming-at-the-mouth, passionately burning hatred for Alvin and the Chipmunks.


RlPNTEAR

And then they all got mad because I was apparently racist and bigoted and “deserved praising for the rest of my life”, friggin casuals


ManeManZay

A few weeks after graduating high school I got sick and the doctors revealed to me I was living with cancer for up to a year


[deleted]

bird shit with water tastes like normal water


AdministrativeBar748

Rolled my head on the rough sharp road after falling off a vehicle


brmamabrma

I horsed a cats with a paraplegic ant


ccmanxx

Microwave go mmmmmmmm


Daisan_no_dankudan

A stone mask


CoolKangarooo

Is that a fucking JOJO REFERENCE??!!!!!?!!!!!


Dragonmaster571w2

I mooned the whole school during an assembly in 2nd grade


weijdmodjalpzxneqs

I was starting a cultlike following that involved everyone in three separate towns so that we could begin the fourth reich to appease daddy hitler but the cops stopped me and gave me a life sentence but me and my cult hid in the woods and we're planning to resurrect 7 nazi corps and hitler himself. Was so traumatizing 😓 but we get to eat raw cow now


Pyrenees_

That's two sentences.


weijdmodjalpzxneqs

192.168.1.1


Pyrenees_

That's a router...


weijdmodjalpzxneqs

11.082" N 2° 18' 28.606" E Sorry bro wrong coords/ip Heres yours


Zavechunger

No those panties aren’t mine.


Syn_Contamino531

I stared at a toothpaste box for so long it looked like Photoshop.


PyPharm

When I was in my mid-twenties, I was aggressively dry-humped by my own grandmother in a restaurant parking lot (my post history contains the full context).


voidmusik

The first time I died traumatized me for decades, until the second time I died helped me to see how mundane it is.


NikosHaliotis

I used to slap kids in elementary school


YHL6965

My skepticism about ghosts ended the day I actually saw one and was so terrified I couldn't scream.


SafariNZ

I had to lie to the armed soldiers at the checkpoint and say I was an Australian.


tasty_hands

When I was 12, I used to masturbate in the public jacuzzi even while other people were in there with me.


Soft-Mathematician46

I spent the rest of my school day in 3rd grade without my underwear


crewchiieff

I'm a convicted felon with a 6 figure job and no college degree.