Oh, it gets *worse*. Spoiler: >!The main villain has prophetic dreams about 3 spider women that murder him. Yes, murder. Like, break into his house and chuck him out a window. Which is the opposite of what Spiderman would do what with his no killing rule. Anywho, that's his whole motivation for being a bad guy doing bad guy things after the movie intro.!<
Even better, he could remove the risk of being thrown through any window by living in basement. Good luck fulfilling that schizo prophecy dream when the most threatening thing in his apartment is an old water heater that probably isn't up to code.
I'm sure a man of his suspiciously unspecific but apparently enormous means couldn't slum it in a basement for a year after finding the girls, monitoring them across New York for spider related activity, then lay low whole attempting to negotiate.
I think that he only got the >!dreams!< _after_ the intro scene where he >!stole the spider venom powers thing.!< Other than that, his motivation seemed to be >!about becoming powerful because he grew up poor, or something similarly generic.!< He gets mad that these >!"spider women" are going to kill him!< and complains about how >!"everything he's built up" will be taken away...!< but we're never really shown much about >!what he's built up...!< or given an explanation about >!how he built it up.!< Did he somehow use the >!spider powers?!< Did he already have this >!empire!< before the opening scene? Who knows?
Who needs to properly explain a villain's motivation? I still think my favorite bit of the movie is >!At the end were Webb is on the hospital bed after being blinded by water-proof fireworks, one of the girls mentions that Uncle Ben has it good, considering he gets all of the fun and none of the responsibility of raising a kid. Webb then says, with a sly smirk, "I wouldn't be too sure"... Like, wtf, why are you joking about Peter becoming an orphan?!<
As far as brain-off fun goes, I could see that. I just feel it's been marred by some truly terrible writing. Even at a basic level, it's just bad. Even a slight glance at the underlying story making decisions, it just falls apart.
Kind of. The villain was a shitbag before the main plot, but the whole character motivation was *entirely* from that dream. And also, >!he managed to have a perfect sketch drawn of each of the girls, *from a dream*, have them demasked from their superhero costumes, and identified in the real world so he could go and kill them. FROM A DREAM.!<
I mean, that wasn't his whole motivation for being a bad guy. He was a bad guy before he had those dreams, like when he did that thing to the pregnant woman in the Amazon.
I actually would like that Deadpool to meet the current Deadpool. I think Reynolds’s would be hilarious as always.
Edit: yeah I forgot about the scene in Deadpool 2, just watched it and now rewatching the movie
Deadpool also shot actor Ryan Reynolds as he was reading the script for the Green Lantern movie. Such a shame too, I love Green Lantern, I wish we could’ve seen how it played out before his untimely death.
I get the web parts, but those eyes? Spider eyes literally do not even look like that. They have several!
This design only works if you're already familiar with Spider-Man, particularly the Tobey version. It's like of someone made a suit based on bats and it just so happens to have a giant yellow symbol with a cartoon bat on the chest.
And what tf is a spider cultist 💀 why can’t Spider-Man just be a cheesy idea drafted up by a teenager??? It’s an inherently silly concept which is why it works perfectly as something made up by a high schooler
To be fair to whoever worked on the movie this retcon did happen in the comics as well and is part of the spiderverse story line which is probably why Sony wanted to focus on it
Its still a dumb concept and antithetical to the characters origins, i like Peter sometimes being the living avatar of some ancient Spider-god even less than i like Bruce Wayne sometimes being the living avatar of some ancient Bat god.
It means it wasnt random chance, it was destiny, he wasnt some normal kid, he was a chosen one all along.
My assumption was that since the Spider-People can see the future, I just figured they worshipped Spider-Man like a God and designed their look around him - not the other way around.
If you can believe it, the movie *Madam Web* is not particularly clear on the details of this lore - leaving it quite open to interpretation.
I havent gotten around to seeing the movie yet, i just meant the direction the general comic book lore has gone. And sure the Spider-verse movies are good, but hes not a nerdy city kid anymore, hes some sort of multiversal constant like The Plutonian now?
Sure DC went ahead and made THAT official, but it doesnt work for a skinny kid with bug powers and the worst luck. Just cuz theyre both the mascot for their companies doesnt mean Spider-man should be treated in-universe at all like Superman. Hes not a symbol to unite a planet behind, hes a clock punching work a day friendly neighborhood superhero.
That's fair. I remember when I first read it thinking it was the stupidest retcon I ever saw but the resulting arc was pretty well done imo so I forgave them. I do think billing Peter as some random kid is selling him a bit short though. In the comics he's usually depicted as a brilliant scientist on par with banner or stark (just without resources) so I do think we get a very different spidey if anyone else in that room got bitten
Yeah, not very often a random nerd makes their own; tracers, ridiculously intricate web shooting mechanism /fluid and a spider buggy with minimal resources and maintaining family life.
Its also just throwing in super natural elements in a story that's tone is originally science fiction in origin. Its like not the biggest tonal clash but its still there.
>why can’t Spider-Man just be a cheesy idea drafted up by a teenager???
No you see, Spider-Man HAS to be a franchise about the multiverse, about the Spider-Totem who gives each avatar its power across the multiverse, about the Web of Fate and more of that "destiny" nonsense.
No it can't be about a simple guy who got bitten by a radioactive spider in an accident, no that spider was actually sent there by the ancient eldritch Spider Gods in an attempt to stop Morlun the Spider Hunter from destroying the timeline or some shit!
What you wanted Spidey to be a relatable allegory for being an everyman leading with life's problems? Too bad for you it's actually some cosmic destiny, multiversal Spider-Cthulhu shit!
Don't the eyes look like that as part of the design for Parker to see with his full new range of spider senses or something? Like, this just looks so fucking stupid.
First saw the picture and figured a roughed up Deadpool got caught in a net, and thought this would be good for some laughs. Then I noticed the rest and got disappointed.
Even in the comics, I always hated the whole "There is a spider god and every universe has a guaranteed spider person and it all originates from this universal spider force"
Like bro just let SM be his own lil guy
They reboot everything, but since Batman is so damn successful, they don't reboot Batman. leading to the utterly stupid shit like New 52 Batman had 4 sidekicks and a son in like 5 years.
Flash is the fastest man alive.
Except for every other single Flash, evil Flash, female Flash, kid Flash, kid girl Flash, Flash but a grim reaper, etc.
DC did this with Barbatos too. Which I always thought it's weirdly specific that a Bat god wanted to ensure there was some dude in tights representing him in every universe.
Even just the whole build up where Bruce Wayne goes back in time and creates the Bat Clan eventually leading up to the Court of Owls, etc. I still loved Dark Knights Metal though.
I did too and honestly a large part of me genuinely enjoys that kind of thing. It helps explain why it's weirdly common for the multiverse to have strangely overly-specific things like so many super heroes popping up at the same time lol.
But it's also pretty ridiculous when you look at it from other angles too
They have to have a way to make the reader give a shit about the stakes but also let them infinitely reboot their collection of like 5 successful characters.
So, multiverse.
if you can enjoy camp, there's a lot of absurdity to enjoy in the many different ways they come up to reset everything
- Alternate universe!
* Someone time traveled!
* Someone got the infinity stones and changed reality!
* Whoops, made a deal with the devil to reset things
* [Superhero] never did those things, it was a clone/evil twin all along!
Haha, I mean, I'm not the type to directly hate these things. I think I'm too tired and jaded
But it has kind of reduced my desire to see Marvel movies day 1 in theatres. I loved doing that up to and including End Game
How about you? Are you really into the multiverse stuff?
Especially cos Spiderman, at its core, is just a guy who stops people robbing banks. There's no need for a grand mythology. He's just a friendly neighbourhood spiderman.
...is that the continuity where he gave her uterine cancer with his radioactive spider-sperm and killed her? I wish to God that wasn't a thing that actually happened, but it did.
It raises all sorts of questions regarding the nature of spider-will. If our spider-fate is predetermined then we aren’t really capable of spider-choice
I know you're joking, but just because I enjoy the additional context:
The first story this all started in ends with Spiderman basically telling the bad guy "who cares if my powers are a scientific accident or predetermined magic, I'm still going to punch you"
Stuff like Asterix has also historically been more popular than Marvel/DC outside the US, which is just about a village of Gauls taking PCP and beating the shit out of Romans.
You don't need to get all weird about it, though.
You don't need Spider-Gods or ancient spirits or none of that... Why are there lots of Spider-Men? Because fuck you, that's why. Spiderman is cool, so here's a billion of him.
That's the only explanation I need.
When I read the original Spider-Verse story, which is about inter-dimensional psychic vampires that feed exclusively on Spider-People and hundreds of different Spider-People coming together to stop them before they all become a buffet, all I could think of was “This is a lot of fun… stupid as hell though.”
Which is such a strange explanation, you have the spider, just let it bite different people in different universes and you have unlimited different spider persons…
I'm pretty sure that was the original writing goal of Spiderman. He isn't some chosen one. He's a kid who had a freak accident and got lucky. And when he discovers that there is a multiverse with infinite individual universes (and therefore approaching infinite spider-men), it contrasts with his extraordinary situation and tells Parker just how small he really is.
It's great storytelling, and I think it's also a part of what sets the Spiderverse films up so well.
So of course Disney needs to shit on it. Thanks MCU!!!
Oh shit really? Sony is so schizophrenic I swear... their animation studios pump out back to back best spiderman films (if not best all time animated superhero films), then live action pump out just hot garbagino which flies in the face of the Spiderverse canon...
Right, but it makes more sense for characters who have the powers or technology for interdimensional hijinks to encounter other versions of themselves.
It makes more sense than the spider god thing because not all Reeds have the exact same power set. There’s not some “god of rubber” At the center of the multiverse that ensure that every universe has a stretchy dude in it, it’s just that every universe tends to have a Reed Richards and they all tend to be geniuses. Some of them can stretch but that’s not a universal constant.
4 months and a grand multi-issue arc leading up to this fact being true, that Genius Reed Richards god exists and is so full of his own shit that he thinks every universe needs a Reed Richards...
Then it turns out to be a version of Doctor Doom.
Because he's one of the smartest people in the Marvel universe. He was a super genius long before he got super powers. After he got them, he became a dimension-hopping solver of cosmic problems.
It's a soap opera. Try to keep a story running for 40 years without really going off the rails or having power creep and still stay interesting enough to keep people invested. It is really difficult to do.
I've been rewatching the 2000s Justice League cartoons. I like it, but I was super disappointed that they made Terry McGinnis a clone of Bruce Wayne
I thought Batman Beyond was a great enough character and setting, but they went and did something dumb like that.
Yeah I ignore that retcon anytime I watch the show. The story is more interesting if it’s a random kid with no connection to Bruce having to rise up to the mantle.
All time worst twist ever for my money.
Like Batman doesn't even *have* superpowers. Why would you need Batman DNA? Batman, who famously takes in other *orphans* and trains them regardless of their upbringing? Foisted bs nonsense twist that goes against everything in the mythos and turns Bruce Wayne into an insane mad scientist borderline r\*pist for the sake of cheap drama.
Doesn't virtually every spiderman go through this "but I'm just a kid"/ "ordinary people can be extraordinary too" theme to it?
The whole chosen by god thing kinda undermines that right? Like... "but I'm just spider jesus" doesn't quite have the same ring to it...
I loved the JMS run for its understanding of the characters and their voice, but I would have really preferred if Ezekiel had just turned out to be some crank. I think the editorial desire for comic organic webshooters and the (half-decent) pitch for Arana just kind of got out of hand.
....Like.... way out of hand.
What bothers me most is that when she goes back to the Amazon, the same dude is there and is just wearing typical clothes. Like a button down shirt.
So they also gentrified the spider peoples culture anyways
They're joking. It is directly from the movie. I only know because I watched a synopsis on YouTube and it had this fool climbing/running down a tree, head-first. I doubt they ever really explain it.
Watching this movie is the same as being caught watching porn, nobody likes admitting it and look for an excuse like "no I was looking at 2 dogs fucking" cause excuse no 2 is more preferable to be shamed as a madam web watcher
Idk, I'm a loud and proud Madame Web enjoyer. I watched that shit start to finish and it's fucking hilarious. It's one of my new favorite "so bad it's good movies." That shit is delicious garbage.
"But I don't have a neuromuscular disorder 🥺" is my favorite dialogue of 2024
And has nobody in her life taught this bitch how to open a damn can of soda?
>And has nobody in her life taught this bitch how to open a damn can of soda?
Please tell me this is an actual, recurring character trait. Because if it is I will unironically watch Madame Web just so I can experience the stupidity of that.
I'm sure it's not like it was written into the script but there are multiple points in the movie where she is handed a can of (Pepsi branded, as Pepsi is a major contributor of ad money for this film. In fact Pepsi is actually the real hero of the movie because the main villain is literally defeated by a Pepsi advertisement, but I digress) soda and she, on screen, for a full 30-60 seconds of screen time proceeds to wipe the lid, fiddle with the tab, etc. whilst delivering dialogue and never manges to ever actually successfully open the can.
It's incredibly distracting and blue-ball inducing.😩
I watched this Dogshit movie last week.
I don't think I've been more annoyed, flabbergasted and just completely confused with a movie before.
The decisions made by people involved in this are genuinely mind blowing. And who the fuck didn't watch the movie before and noticed the most obvious dubbing I've ever seen in my life? Sometimes the background audio stops so a new voice line can be used and then it comes back, but the new voice lines are obviously not synced correctly and the tone is completely different, you can even hear the studio echo. It's so fucking amateurish.
And the worst part, in my opinion, is this weird fetish that both marvel and DC have with making spiderman a mythical thing. And they used the "With great power comes great responsibility" line. Fucking shit I hate this movie.
The villain sucks, the mcs sucks everything sucks.
I think this is worse than Morbius and any other Sony trash. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a spiderman nerd but I hated every second.
> And the worst part, in my opinion, is this weird fetish that both marvel and DC have with making spiderman a mythical thing.
Guessing you meant Sony instead of DC.
I meant both and Sony. But I kinda mixed my ideas there LMAO.
I meant how they like to make superheroes into mythical things. Like The Flash isn't just the fast guy, he has the speed force which is this cosmical thing or whatever.
I just like my heroes to be the heroes, not the avatar of some force.
> Like The Flash isn't just the fast guy, he has the speed force which is this cosmical thing or whatever.
ha the speed force is so dumb, but I can understand its purpose. Its a cop out to not have explain why the flash if aster than possible and can break physics
They fuckin butchered too. It's basically said "When you take responsibility, great power will come".
Like fuck off. Even the MCU knew they had to earn the line. It's iconic, you don't slap it into some trash slop like this movie.
The line is supposed to be an inversion of the original. I know that the movie was terrible so it's hard to tell for a lot of viewers if it was intentional or just badly butchered, but the phrasing is *supposed* to be the reverse of the spiderman line.
And to be clear, that's even worse. It goes against everything that Spider-Man is supposed to represent. He's an everyman hero. His responsibility to protect people derives from his capability to do it. When you reverse that, you're essentially just defending the status quo that you get power from.
Responsibility in the films is a function of spider bites and dead relatives, such that
R=((2S^2 + 3D) ÷ (√D • S • g))^t•v
Where g=1 is Spider-Man's girlfriend is anyone other than MJ, including having no girlfriend, and g=2 if it is MJ; t=runtime in hours and v=number of villains in the movie.
I propose this as an objective way to determine which Arachnid-Person is the most responsible.
I think the funniest thing is that the comics also got weird with Spider-Man having a connection to an Ancient Spider God that people worshipped and they even had a Spider Queen who had an entire tribe of Spider people that could turn into literal Spiders.
But at the same time, all of that, despite being really silly, is legit kind of cool in the comics.This on the other hand was just......so weird.
There are lots of ideas from the comics that really should stay in the comics, and arguably a lot of the failures of older comic book adaptations were because they weren't adapting it for a larger audience and to properly fit a movie structure.
Ooof... this is just bad. Sony is so weird. They'll do something great like the Miles Morales movies and then they'll make this sort of abomination. I mean yeah the MCU strikes out pretty often these days but at least it doesn't look like total dog shit when they do.
Wasn’t he in the Amazon with Madam Web’s Mom when she was researching spiders right before she died?
Yeah it was probably when this guy and his superhuman spider bros decided to watch a pregnant woman get brutally murdered from the trees
Any time I hear anything about this film it just sounds more unhinged
Oh, it gets *worse*. Spoiler: >!The main villain has prophetic dreams about 3 spider women that murder him. Yes, murder. Like, break into his house and chuck him out a window. Which is the opposite of what Spiderman would do what with his no killing rule. Anywho, that's his whole motivation for being a bad guy doing bad guy things after the movie intro.!<
To think his problems would all go away if he moved into a ground level apartment
Even better, he could remove the risk of being thrown through any window by living in basement. Good luck fulfilling that schizo prophecy dream when the most threatening thing in his apartment is an old water heater that probably isn't up to code.
I'm sure a man of his suspiciously unspecific but apparently enormous means couldn't slum it in a basement for a year after finding the girls, monitoring them across New York for spider related activity, then lay low whole attempting to negotiate.
The ironic thing is that in the comics, Ezekiel literally did spend all his time living in a bunker because he was afraid of being detected by Morlun.
> Even better, he could remove the risk By staying in the damn jungle.
I think that he only got the >!dreams!< _after_ the intro scene where he >!stole the spider venom powers thing.!< Other than that, his motivation seemed to be >!about becoming powerful because he grew up poor, or something similarly generic.!< He gets mad that these >!"spider women" are going to kill him!< and complains about how >!"everything he's built up" will be taken away...!< but we're never really shown much about >!what he's built up...!< or given an explanation about >!how he built it up.!< Did he somehow use the >!spider powers?!< Did he already have this >!empire!< before the opening scene? Who knows?
Who needs to properly explain a villain's motivation? I still think my favorite bit of the movie is >!At the end were Webb is on the hospital bed after being blinded by water-proof fireworks, one of the girls mentions that Uncle Ben has it good, considering he gets all of the fun and none of the responsibility of raising a kid. Webb then says, with a sly smirk, "I wouldn't be too sure"... Like, wtf, why are you joking about Peter becoming an orphan?!<
this movie is so unhinged wtf
Tbf Madame Webb’s an asshole
That felt more like a reference to the “great power, great responsibility” line but tbh it somehow makes more sense as just shit talking an orphan
A *future* orphan, ;)
Your comment looked like a CIA report that was edited for public distribution
It's redacted for the safety and sanity of all involved.
Imo this movie felt like the campy cheesy early 2000’s marvel movies. I actually didn’t hate it but it is definitely mid tier movie
As far as brain-off fun goes, I could see that. I just feel it's been marred by some truly terrible writing. Even at a basic level, it's just bad. Even a slight glance at the underlying story making decisions, it just falls apart.
So… “you cheated on me in your dreams” like?
Kind of. The villain was a shitbag before the main plot, but the whole character motivation was *entirely* from that dream. And also, >!he managed to have a perfect sketch drawn of each of the girls, *from a dream*, have them demasked from their superhero costumes, and identified in the real world so he could go and kill them. FROM A DREAM.!<
Remember the masks, that covers no shit at all?
Remember how the 2003 technology created the images of the women from his dream and then demasked and de-aged them. Suuuuper reeallll!!
I mean, that wasn't his whole motivation for being a bad guy. He was a bad guy before he had those dreams, like when he did that thing to the pregnant woman in the Amazon.
It took a 4 person team to write the screenplay for this dumpster fire.
Yea this was when her mom was in the Amazon when she was researching spiders right before she died
And to everyone's surprise she also was yelling "*IT'S MADAME WEBBING TIME!!!!!*"
That's a common misconception, they were actually in the Amazon with her mom when she was researching ***SPiders*** right before she died.
Damn near looks like the first time they tried to put Deadpool in that Wolverine X-men movie
I actually would like that Deadpool to meet the current Deadpool. I think Reynolds’s would be hilarious as always. Edit: yeah I forgot about the scene in Deadpool 2, just watched it and now rewatching the movie
Deadpool murdered that Deadpool at the end of Deadpool 2
Did he? It’s been a bit since I watched the movie
At the very end yup
Yeah just watched it and rewatching the movie too
Deadpool also shot actor Ryan Reynolds as he was reading the script for the Green Lantern movie. Such a shame too, I love Green Lantern, I wish we could’ve seen how it played out before his untimely death.
What green lantern movie? Ryan Reynolds? Sounds like a fever dream.
I mean they kinda “met” in the Deadpool 2 during/after credits scene….
Yup. God, I hate it when hack Hollywood writers think they know better than decades of popular comics.
what in the flying fuck is that man suppose to be wearing?
Just got sunburned and tangled up in some trees
That's her... skin?
I think it’s meant to be dried mud.
Nah, they're wearing steaks.
So it's Lady Gaga? The lore in Madame Web goes deep
Looks like a filet mignon
Happens to me every time I go for a swim 😔😔
Tobey costume from Temu
Temu McGuire
Te Muguire
It’s soooo forced so that it could resemble the mask. Like what are the vines supposed to be
In absolute fairness to Madame Web's AI writer, this guy is a spider cultist. So the vines are supposed to look like a spider's web. Presumably.
I get the web parts, but those eyes? Spider eyes literally do not even look like that. They have several! This design only works if you're already familiar with Spider-Man, particularly the Tobey version. It's like of someone made a suit based on bats and it just so happens to have a giant yellow symbol with a cartoon bat on the chest.
spiderman cargo cult lol
And what tf is a spider cultist 💀 why can’t Spider-Man just be a cheesy idea drafted up by a teenager??? It’s an inherently silly concept which is why it works perfectly as something made up by a high schooler
To be fair to whoever worked on the movie this retcon did happen in the comics as well and is part of the spiderverse story line which is probably why Sony wanted to focus on it
Its still a dumb concept and antithetical to the characters origins, i like Peter sometimes being the living avatar of some ancient Spider-god even less than i like Bruce Wayne sometimes being the living avatar of some ancient Bat god. It means it wasnt random chance, it was destiny, he wasnt some normal kid, he was a chosen one all along.
My assumption was that since the Spider-People can see the future, I just figured they worshipped Spider-Man like a God and designed their look around him - not the other way around. If you can believe it, the movie *Madam Web* is not particularly clear on the details of this lore - leaving it quite open to interpretation.
I havent gotten around to seeing the movie yet, i just meant the direction the general comic book lore has gone. And sure the Spider-verse movies are good, but hes not a nerdy city kid anymore, hes some sort of multiversal constant like The Plutonian now? Sure DC went ahead and made THAT official, but it doesnt work for a skinny kid with bug powers and the worst luck. Just cuz theyre both the mascot for their companies doesnt mean Spider-man should be treated in-universe at all like Superman. Hes not a symbol to unite a planet behind, hes a clock punching work a day friendly neighborhood superhero.
Nope, Peter is doing cultural appropriation of an under-contacted indigenous peoples. Spider-Man 4 is all about him being cancelled by a woke mob.
finally, mel gibson gets an MCU directing gig
That's fair. I remember when I first read it thinking it was the stupidest retcon I ever saw but the resulting arc was pretty well done imo so I forgave them. I do think billing Peter as some random kid is selling him a bit short though. In the comics he's usually depicted as a brilliant scientist on par with banner or stark (just without resources) so I do think we get a very different spidey if anyone else in that room got bitten
Yeah, not very often a random nerd makes their own; tracers, ridiculously intricate web shooting mechanism /fluid and a spider buggy with minimal resources and maintaining family life.
Its also just throwing in super natural elements in a story that's tone is originally science fiction in origin. Its like not the biggest tonal clash but its still there.
There's this Spider-Man story called "The Other" which on its own was fun but has led to some of the worst changes to the character.
>why can’t Spider-Man just be a cheesy idea drafted up by a teenager??? No you see, Spider-Man HAS to be a franchise about the multiverse, about the Spider-Totem who gives each avatar its power across the multiverse, about the Web of Fate and more of that "destiny" nonsense. No it can't be about a simple guy who got bitten by a radioactive spider in an accident, no that spider was actually sent there by the ancient eldritch Spider Gods in an attempt to stop Morlun the Spider Hunter from destroying the timeline or some shit! What you wanted Spidey to be a relatable allegory for being an everyman leading with life's problems? Too bad for you it's actually some cosmic destiny, multiversal Spider-Cthulhu shit!
Don't the eyes look like that as part of the design for Parker to see with his full new range of spider senses or something? Like, this just looks so fucking stupid.
He looks like a burn victim 😭
First saw the picture and figured a roughed up Deadpool got caught in a net, and thought this would be good for some laughs. Then I noticed the rest and got disappointed.
Lady Gaga's meat dress
Like that one lady character in Game of Thrones. Lolol
Looks like Deadpool cover himself with seaweed to fuck with Spider-Man
Even in the comics, I always hated the whole "There is a spider god and every universe has a guaranteed spider person and it all originates from this universal spider force" Like bro just let SM be his own lil guy
marvel don't make every tiny trait connected to some bigger multiverse thing challenge
[удалено]
It doesn’t just “almost seem like it”, it is precisely like it. And it’s awful.
*Marvel Jesus
Idk, Anansi and Ol' Yeshua don't seem to get along that well
I was thinking the exact same thing! Gives me huge 'mouthless Wade Wilson Deadpool monstrosity' vibes
Oh dude, it is infinitely worse in DC. Like the speed force alone.
Also DC has the annoying habit of "rebooting" (but like half-heartedly rebooting) every decade with some Crisis On Infinite Burger King-esque event.
They reboot everything, but since Batman is so damn successful, they don't reboot Batman. leading to the utterly stupid shit like New 52 Batman had 4 sidekicks and a son in like 5 years.
Flash is the fastest man alive. Except for every other single Flash, evil Flash, female Flash, kid Flash, kid girl Flash, Flash but a grim reaper, etc.
DC did this with Barbatos too. Which I always thought it's weirdly specific that a Bat god wanted to ensure there was some dude in tights representing him in every universe.
Even just the whole build up where Bruce Wayne goes back in time and creates the Bat Clan eventually leading up to the Court of Owls, etc. I still loved Dark Knights Metal though.
I did too and honestly a large part of me genuinely enjoys that kind of thing. It helps explain why it's weirdly common for the multiverse to have strangely overly-specific things like so many super heroes popping up at the same time lol. But it's also pretty ridiculous when you look at it from other angles too
They have to have a way to make the reader give a shit about the stakes but also let them infinitely reboot their collection of like 5 successful characters. So, multiverse.
Oh no, they were rebooting many times long before the multiverse tropes Now it's just used as a retcon excuse
if you can enjoy camp, there's a lot of absurdity to enjoy in the many different ways they come up to reset everything - Alternate universe! * Someone time traveled! * Someone got the infinity stones and changed reality! * Whoops, made a deal with the devil to reset things * [Superhero] never did those things, it was a clone/evil twin all along!
Haha, I mean, I'm not the type to directly hate these things. I think I'm too tired and jaded But it has kind of reduced my desire to see Marvel movies day 1 in theatres. I loved doing that up to and including End Game How about you? Are you really into the multiverse stuff?
Before the multiverse, they had the universally hated clone saga.
Its literally where i draw the line as a marvel fan. Multiverses = dont care
I want to see the story were all the multiverse Punishers band together to murder the god/being/entity/thing that keeps killing their families.
(Impossible)
[gone sexual]⁉️
Especially cos Spiderman, at its core, is just a guy who stops people robbing banks. There's no need for a grand mythology. He's just a friendly neighbourhood spiderman.
He's just a friendly neighbourhood galatically predetermined spiderman.
You have to let me rail you MJ, it's what the multi-dimensional spider-god destined
Peter, I'm Lutheran
You have to let me rail you Lutheran, it's what the multi-dimensional spider-god destined
“Ok but we can only soak.”
Hope Harry can jump hump for us.
...is that the continuity where he gave her uterine cancer with his radioactive spider-sperm and killed her? I wish to God that wasn't a thing that actually happened, but it did.
That was Spider-Man Reign, and good news Reign 2 is happening this summer. But this time it's Miles.
No, Peter! I'm with multi-angled math guy now!
It raises all sorts of questions regarding the nature of spider-will. If our spider-fate is predetermined then we aren’t really capable of spider-choice
I know you're joking, but just because I enjoy the additional context: The first story this all started in ends with Spiderman basically telling the bad guy "who cares if my powers are a scientific accident or predetermined magic, I'm still going to punch you"
The need for a grand mythology comes from the fact that Spider-Man has been their most popular character forever. More spider-men = more toys to sell.
Winnie the Pooh as a brand has managed to outsell all of Marvel and it's never strayed too much further from a bear who loves honey and hates pants.
Yeah and can you imagine all the money they left on the table? They could have had a Poo that wore pants and no shirt!
Winnie: Enter the Pooniverse. Makes 3 billion dollars at the box office
Let's make this a thing for the memes
Eeyore was ahead of his time, tapped into the depressed suicidal child market way before any of the gen z shit
Those days are over. Now comes the age of the poohniverse.
Stuff like Asterix has also historically been more popular than Marvel/DC outside the US, which is just about a village of Gauls taking PCP and beating the shit out of Romans.
Hundred Acre Wood multiverse confirmed!
You don't need to get all weird about it, though. You don't need Spider-Gods or ancient spirits or none of that... Why are there lots of Spider-Men? Because fuck you, that's why. Spiderman is cool, so here's a billion of him. That's the only explanation I need.
When I read the original Spider-Verse story, which is about inter-dimensional psychic vampires that feed exclusively on Spider-People and hundreds of different Spider-People coming together to stop them before they all become a buffet, all I could think of was “This is a lot of fun… stupid as hell though.”
It's comic books. They get weird about everything. Look at what symbiote and Carnage are up to recently.
Which is such a strange explanation, you have the spider, just let it bite different people in different universes and you have unlimited different spider persons…
Yeah exactly, there's no real need to make them all destined chosen ones of some multiversal deity or some shit. Just have them team up "naturally".
I'm pretty sure that was the original writing goal of Spiderman. He isn't some chosen one. He's a kid who had a freak accident and got lucky. And when he discovers that there is a multiverse with infinite individual universes (and therefore approaching infinite spider-men), it contrasts with his extraordinary situation and tells Parker just how small he really is. It's great storytelling, and I think it's also a part of what sets the Spiderverse films up so well. So of course Disney needs to shit on it. Thanks MCU!!!
This isn't Disney nor part of the MCU. This is Sony.
Oh shit really? Sony is so schizophrenic I swear... their animation studios pump out back to back best spiderman films (if not best all time animated superhero films), then live action pump out just hot garbagino which flies in the face of the Spiderverse canon...
That's what Spiderverse is/did and it makes for a way more fun set of spiderpeople
Agreed. For Doctor Strange or Reed Richards it made sense. But for Spider-Man? Absolute trash idea.
Why did it make sense for Reed?
Because he is very stretchy
Because he travels to other dimensions somewhat regularly, to the point where there’s a Council of Reeds from other universes
But travelling between dimensions should have absolutely no bearing on whether other dimensions have versions of you.
Right, but it makes more sense for characters who have the powers or technology for interdimensional hijinks to encounter other versions of themselves.
It makes more sense than the spider god thing because not all Reeds have the exact same power set. There’s not some “god of rubber” At the center of the multiverse that ensure that every universe has a stretchy dude in it, it’s just that every universe tends to have a Reed Richards and they all tend to be geniuses. Some of them can stretch but that’s not a universal constant.
Sounds like there's Genius Reed Richards god and it makes sure every universe has Genius Reed Richards.
4 months and a grand multi-issue arc leading up to this fact being true, that Genius Reed Richards god exists and is so full of his own shit that he thinks every universe needs a Reed Richards... Then it turns out to be a version of Doctor Doom.
get this man a job
Because you can bend and stretch his story in all sorts of ways
Because he's one of the smartest people in the Marvel universe. He was a super genius long before he got super powers. After he got them, he became a dimension-hopping solver of cosmic problems.
Problem with superhero comics in general, lot of the writers just CANNOT let characters be by themselves and not connected to other things.
It's a soap opera. Try to keep a story running for 40 years without really going off the rails or having power creep and still stay interesting enough to keep people invested. It is really difficult to do.
I've been rewatching the 2000s Justice League cartoons. I like it, but I was super disappointed that they made Terry McGinnis a clone of Bruce Wayne I thought Batman Beyond was a great enough character and setting, but they went and did something dumb like that.
Yeah I ignore that retcon anytime I watch the show. The story is more interesting if it’s a random kid with no connection to Bruce having to rise up to the mantle.
All time worst twist ever for my money. Like Batman doesn't even *have* superpowers. Why would you need Batman DNA? Batman, who famously takes in other *orphans* and trains them regardless of their upbringing? Foisted bs nonsense twist that goes against everything in the mythos and turns Bruce Wayne into an insane mad scientist borderline r\*pist for the sake of cheap drama.
I hate any story that makes Peter becoming Spider-Man destiny. It completely misses the point of the character.
Doesn't virtually every spiderman go through this "but I'm just a kid"/ "ordinary people can be extraordinary too" theme to it? The whole chosen by god thing kinda undermines that right? Like... "but I'm just spider jesus" doesn't quite have the same ring to it...
Ezekiel Sims started the mystical stuff before the Spider-verse got involved.
I loved the JMS run for its understanding of the characters and their voice, but I would have really preferred if Ezekiel had just turned out to be some crank. I think the editorial desire for comic organic webshooters and the (half-decent) pitch for Arana just kind of got out of hand. ....Like.... way out of hand.
Friendly neighborhood, Spider-man. And of course, SHOCKEEEEER! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE MEEE! I AM EVERYWHERE
YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!
They retconed Spider-Man's costume as being cultural appropriation lol
We have Legally Compliant Spiderman at home:
arachnidude
~~Night~~ Day Monkey
Spindler-Guy
Excuse me, it has a hyphen.
That is the most cursed PFP I have ever witnessed
I want Luz from The Owl House We have Luz from The Owl House at Home Stonetoss Luz
I am not too familiar with the owl house, but I imagine this is the equivalent of drawing a minimalist DaVinci
It’s more the equivalent of drawing a bi character from a very progressive show in the style of a Nazi, which I find, at the very least, a little odd.
Is your profile pic pebblethrow luz? lmao
What bothers me most is that when she goes back to the Amazon, the same dude is there and is just wearing typical clothes. Like a button down shirt. So they also gentrified the spider peoples culture anyways
That's a funny fake still you made yourself that's not at all part of an actual movie
Knowing this would mean you watched that movie? Did you watch that shit?
They're joking. It is directly from the movie. I only know because I watched a synopsis on YouTube and it had this fool climbing/running down a tree, head-first. I doubt they ever really explain it.
Watching this movie is the same as being caught watching porn, nobody likes admitting it and look for an excuse like "no I was looking at 2 dogs fucking" cause excuse no 2 is more preferable to be shamed as a madam web watcher
Idk, I'm a loud and proud Madame Web enjoyer. I watched that shit start to finish and it's fucking hilarious. It's one of my new favorite "so bad it's good movies." That shit is delicious garbage. "But I don't have a neuromuscular disorder 🥺" is my favorite dialogue of 2024 And has nobody in her life taught this bitch how to open a damn can of soda?
>And has nobody in her life taught this bitch how to open a damn can of soda? Please tell me this is an actual, recurring character trait. Because if it is I will unironically watch Madame Web just so I can experience the stupidity of that.
I'm sure it's not like it was written into the script but there are multiple points in the movie where she is handed a can of (Pepsi branded, as Pepsi is a major contributor of ad money for this film. In fact Pepsi is actually the real hero of the movie because the main villain is literally defeated by a Pepsi advertisement, but I digress) soda and she, on screen, for a full 30-60 seconds of screen time proceeds to wipe the lid, fiddle with the tab, etc. whilst delivering dialogue and never manges to ever actually successfully open the can. It's incredibly distracting and blue-ball inducing.😩
I watched this Dogshit movie last week. I don't think I've been more annoyed, flabbergasted and just completely confused with a movie before. The decisions made by people involved in this are genuinely mind blowing. And who the fuck didn't watch the movie before and noticed the most obvious dubbing I've ever seen in my life? Sometimes the background audio stops so a new voice line can be used and then it comes back, but the new voice lines are obviously not synced correctly and the tone is completely different, you can even hear the studio echo. It's so fucking amateurish. And the worst part, in my opinion, is this weird fetish that both marvel and DC have with making spiderman a mythical thing. And they used the "With great power comes great responsibility" line. Fucking shit I hate this movie. The villain sucks, the mcs sucks everything sucks. I think this is worse than Morbius and any other Sony trash. Maybe I'm biased because I'm a spiderman nerd but I hated every second.
> And the worst part, in my opinion, is this weird fetish that both marvel and DC have with making spiderman a mythical thing. Guessing you meant Sony instead of DC.
I meant both and Sony. But I kinda mixed my ideas there LMAO. I meant how they like to make superheroes into mythical things. Like The Flash isn't just the fast guy, he has the speed force which is this cosmical thing or whatever. I just like my heroes to be the heroes, not the avatar of some force.
Got it, yeah. Totally agree.
> Like The Flash isn't just the fast guy, he has the speed force which is this cosmical thing or whatever. ha the speed force is so dumb, but I can understand its purpose. Its a cop out to not have explain why the flash if aster than possible and can break physics
>And they used the "With great power comes great responsibility" line. Wait...what? This makes me irrationally angry as a Spider-Man fan.
They fuckin butchered too. It's basically said "When you take responsibility, great power will come". Like fuck off. Even the MCU knew they had to earn the line. It's iconic, you don't slap it into some trash slop like this movie.
The line is supposed to be an inversion of the original. I know that the movie was terrible so it's hard to tell for a lot of viewers if it was intentional or just badly butchered, but the phrasing is *supposed* to be the reverse of the spiderman line. And to be clear, that's even worse. It goes against everything that Spider-Man is supposed to represent. He's an everyman hero. His responsibility to protect people derives from his capability to do it. When you reverse that, you're essentially just defending the status quo that you get power from.
"Responsibility increases in direct proportion to power greatness. Past history is not a guarantee of future performance."
Responsibility in the films is a function of spider bites and dead relatives, such that R=((2S^2 + 3D) ÷ (√D • S • g))^t•v Where g=1 is Spider-Man's girlfriend is anyone other than MJ, including having no girlfriend, and g=2 if it is MJ; t=runtime in hours and v=number of villains in the movie. I propose this as an objective way to determine which Arachnid-Person is the most responsible.
the acting of the villian, jesus christ that guy sucked. and how we talked. this movie was a -10/10.
Good on you for being able to finish it. I couldn’t make it past 20 minutes.
I think the funniest thing is that the comics also got weird with Spider-Man having a connection to an Ancient Spider God that people worshipped and they even had a Spider Queen who had an entire tribe of Spider people that could turn into literal Spiders. But at the same time, all of that, despite being really silly, is legit kind of cool in the comics.This on the other hand was just......so weird.
There are lots of ideas from the comics that really should stay in the comics, and arguably a lot of the failures of older comic book adaptations were because they weren't adapting it for a larger audience and to properly fit a movie structure.
Hmm, this is a nod
Meat Man!
Fighter of the Soy Man!
Champion of the Bun!
ahhAHHAaaaaaaaahhhh!
Ayo .. Is that 2 dollar carnage ?
we have Carnage at home. Carnage at home:
Ooof... this is just bad. Sony is so weird. They'll do something great like the Miles Morales movies and then they'll make this sort of abomination. I mean yeah the MCU strikes out pretty often these days but at least it doesn't look like total dog shit when they do.
The MCU movies lately are just average or boring. Madame Web is truly awful. A completely incompetent movie in every way.
He looks like raw meat
We're all raw meat.
Touché
I feel like this costume choice was from a first year college student on their first project “Look guys! References!”
Hey yo it’s da spida man, with all the schmutz on his face
Is that the new DBD killer?
Amado Carillo Fuentes... I'm so sorry ;-;
im not sure if this is AI art or an actual frame from the movie
Spooderman was never the same after discovering Bdsm
- Mom! I want Spider Man! - No! We got Spider Man at home! Spider Man at home: