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ThisAccountForTalkin

Todd Cantwell, Goldbridge’s quote from years ago is perfect “Cantwell, swap the A for a U you fucking nobhead”


Top_Xhaka

That’s so Mark


YourDadHatesYou

What happened to him? He was almost pretty good


ThisAccountForTalkin

Basically he stopped getting play time at Norwich for whatever reason, he looked pretty decent in 19/20 especially in that 1 game against City where Norwich were incredible. I think he got loaned out to Bournemouth for a while and did nothing there as well. Last January he signed for Rangers and immediately tried to make himself the character of fan-favourite, he has almost had main-character syndrome. So all us Celtic fans and that started calling him TikTok Todd for the banter (Scottish fans are pretty chill with that stuff) and he just continued it. Got a loud reception of boos at Celtic Park yesterday, and he’s not even that good. If you’re going to talk the talk, then at least walk the walk (walking not ideal for football, but still). Haven’t hated one of their players so much for years, at least guys like Morelos was funny with his goal-scoring drought against us (especially missing a penalty in the 2019 League Cup final where they dominated us but we scraped with 10 men).


PhilosophyDense3986

Mark if you're reading this Cuntwell walks into this United to team


[deleted]

Fidget spinner fraud


AdvancedAd2162

Courtois I will avenge DeBrine


IamHellgod07

Debrane*


FAT_NEEK_42069

Debrain


Bubaborello

Thebrain


Routine_Leading_4757

Debrun


No_Gene_7791

Kevin


3n5k

Kevini jr


WarSamaYT

Killjoy


Iskak0

Joystick


Arsenal_Boi_9

Raze


legendforever10

This nickname actually fits him. He's literally the brain of the team. Let's make it gappen!


YooGeOh

Who's that? Is that Saltwater Kev? Like usually Kev but bigger and more aggressive?


Xx_Cock_N_Booty_xX

my wife(Megan rapinoe)😞😞


[deleted]

I also chose this guys wife


lucasan8249

He’s my husband!! Megan is cheating on me?? How dare he


AutoModerator

Brighton are top of the Premier League with all teams playing 2 games each (bar Luton and Burnley who can’t catch Brighton anyway). UEFA coefficient puts the Premier League at 87.053 coefficient points which is the highest of any European League. The last 10 winners of the Club World Cup which pits the best team in every continent against each other has been won by the European team for the last 10 years, thus suggesting that Europe is the strongest footballing continent. Therefore, as Brighton are top of the best league in the best continent in terms of footballing ability at the moment, it is clear that Brighton are currently the best football team in world football at this current moment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


zeau_ki

Isn't even a counter


SLB_Destroyer04

My 🐪 so he can get other penalty! #roadto1000goals


legendforever10

Penalty for Argentina!


AutoModerator

I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SLB_Destroyer04

The song should be amended: “don’t cry because of Argentina”


AutoModerator

There should be a reformation in football something like a penalty is 0.5 a goal, or you need like make 2 or 3 shots - like free throws on a foul in basketball. its just so extremely shit when a penalty decides a game in this sport or decides the flow of a game early on, like here *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Theplowking23

Bruno fernanjshhh or antony. Honorable mention to gabriel christ the redeemer


addandsubtract

João Felix, CR7, or basically any Portuguese player, I guess.


Prime_Marci

Christian Romero, Di Maria, Aguero


DofusNooboo

Garnacho to realign the entire structure so he doesn't look like a bottled plastic surgery job.


Stock-Ad-3249

He looks like Ashton Kutcher having a stroke


AutoModerator

I am a "plastic" and couldn't care less. People really pay too much attention to things like that. Chances are, you reading this on a Chinese smartphone, using a TV manufactured by a South Korean company (mine is the LG C1 OLED) while drinking Coca-Cola, owned by a company from the States. The world is globalised, man. No point in tribalism. We live in 2021, not 717, you do realize that? Now, if you chose some obscure team from the other side of the world, you could argue it's virtue signalling or whatever. I would still maintain it's within your rights. But, if you choose to support a foreign team because you like them and the way they play, who cares. Just don't jump the ship when things go awry. And actually, I have been to a Real Madrid match just this year. Won't name which one to avoid doxxing myself, but I in Spain at the time, so I took the opportunity and saw the game with my own eyes. And hell, will it be a memory for a lifetime. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Torimas

Cold tomato soup it is!


fiddlezerp

Yank here. Jordan pickford, but it might have the effect of making him look even bitchier somehow


QuaLiTy131

Cunty face and no teeth’s. That’s a proper Brit


Apprehensive_End_515

Mason greenwood


AFUCKINGTWAT2

Tbf having Carlos take a freekick at his face is tame. What about a Riise Thundercunt to his balls?


Luke92612_

Or a Cuti Romero "special".


Kernowl

David Hirst has the hardest recorded premier league shot at 114mph, would love to see that smash into Greenwood's chops


_doppelR

Greenwood, Antony, Bruno, Garnacho,....oh wait, they all play the same club?


eioioe

None, since violence ain’t a solution. To try and hit some awareness into someone like James Tomkins for example by aggressively shooting some rough verbal shots, that’s like Adriano: imperative.


Prime_Marci

Liverpool fan ryt?


No-Industry-2980

Joelinton or Bruno G 🤔 . Dealers choice


itsyaboi69_420

Bruno G for Sure


Hungry_Obligation_52

Or joelinton


Judas-Yeast

Jordan Henderson.


Other_Beat8859

Can't blame you as a Liverpool fan. Hendo betrayed literally all he stood for and acted horribly for a club legend, captain, and betrayed all of what he stood for when it comes to LGBTQ. No one forced him to be a spokesperson for LGBTQ, but he chose to do so and to find out that he would sell out to become even richer when he's already rich as shit is honestly painful as a Liverpool fan.


heliskinki

Absolutely this. And get Milner to do some shithousery on Carlos 1st so the guy is really fucking angry, just to add a little zest to his free kick power. And use an old school leather ball, not one of the beach balls they use today. And Carlos has to take the free kick twice due to encroachment. What’s that, Hendo was knocked out with the 1st one? NP - let him take on the draught excluder role, and Carlos can hit a daisy cutter.


4ssteroid

Fuckin hate that cunt's face so much


LingonberrySilent203

bruno for sure. twice.


potatishplantonomist

My man would take the bullet for Hitler / Bin Laden


[deleted]

Garnacho, fully pumped mitre, freezing cold day. No more than 5 yards out. Thank you.


GandalfsFlipFlop

Nothing stings more than a fully pumped mitre on a freezing cold day. That’s a meeting god kind of pain


Tbmadpotato

Man United fan so I don’t like how all my first thoughts were United players. Richarlison tho


OUmegaLUL

Anthony Gordon, a face doesn’t get more punchable than that 💯


Neyne_NA

McTominey


Exotic-Cartoonist816

McTomineey


EdgeOfAir

Louis Suarez


Rmb2719

*Laeouis Suarez


ogc_glizzyxx

\*Leauoaiees Suarez


eioioe

[Ey, Loïííís](https://youtu.be/JVmijTKbsaI?si=8H_hd9ISoKdY1mYj)


giraffeboy77

Unfortunately he'd just burst the ball and carry on regardless


WussPoppinTimbo

Cat Zouma 😎


AutoModerator

Meow 🐱 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Sensei_Pizza

The way Bruno likes to stir shit up on the field & make other fans cry is fucking great, it might be the best thing of football


Middle-Incident4083

riquelme or maxi rodriguez if we’re talking at any point in history probably felipe melo if we’re talking current day


PortgasDSpade

bro still salty about 2006


Middle-Incident4083

and 2010 and 2014 and 2018 pretty much every year since then


lucasan8249

Gabriel Jesus he’s fucking shit and looks like a gingerbread man


mediumaubergine

Suarez right in the buckteeth


ScottOld

Jesus at Arsenal, his face always looks like he is about to cry


DameDollaDolla

Sterling because he’s a bitch.


Jurski17

Bruno the rat for sure


Hieikki

Mbappe


AutoModerator

If Fraudbappe thinks, I disagree. If Fraudbappe speaks, I ignore. If Fraudbappe fails, I'm happy. If the world is against Fraudbappe, I am the world. If Fraudbappe has 7 billion fans, I am none of them. If Fraudbappe has no haters, it's because I no longer exist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Bieser765

Richarlison, the pigeon needs to learn some fucking manners, needs to be put in his place


IllDisaster2262

People realy like Richarlyson? I'm brazilian and I fucking hate him, he thinks he is CR7/Messi level and he is dog shit and acts like a douche


Bieser765

Bro thinks he's him after scoring a tap in from 2 yards out


moccawimba

Joey Barton


Darnell1605

Straight up Di Maria. Heck, i’d even pay Carlos to do it again


Kenny_dies

Miguel Almiron and Garrincha Goat


Munchihello

Didier Deschamps


aguero1987

Joey Barton Kurt zuma


rmp266

Bruno looks like he's already been blasted in the face with a football or ten


Bulbamew

Nah you’d want John Arne Riise on it surely


list_of_simonson

I wanna see him bounce it off of Rashford’s big ass nose


front_yard_duck_dad

Suarez 100%


Ok-Suit-8865

Jackson for missing chances every game someone without legs could score


haikusbot

*Jackson for missing* *Chances every game someone* *Without legs could score* \- Ok-Suit-8865 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


Fit-Minimum-5507

I know John Terry's long since retired but fuck him anyway.


Three-Eyed-Raven421

Calhanoglu


neverfinishedanythi

He and bruno fernandes never in same room, I insist they are the same person. Just as whiny and dirty as each other.


AppointmentLower9987

Wow, Garnacho but not out of a place of hate I just hope that if he hits him hard enough it’ll fix that fucking jaw.


SamAlmighty

Icardi or Paredes


RushFeeling4595

Antony. Wanna see him rotate violently in circles after being smacked the shit out of by Roberto Calories.


RealBoringCF

Bro why rob catching strays


Ok-Lynx-7359

Zinchenko


Mean-Construction-98

Jorg Albertz into Diego Maradona's corpse head


EffectiveTie3144

Pique, Vidal, aguero


yellowjesusrising

Raphinoe or Partey.


Karovices

Zinchenko, give him something to cry about (satire)


LifeIsSimulation3

Harry Maguire while smirking or Luis Suarez while smiling.


Ozlinator

MATTY CASH.


RealRutin

Virgil van Dijk, without a second thought.


Are_you_for_real_7

Anthony Gordon and Emiliano Martinez (this one would need to have his hands tied behind his back) oh and Kai Havertz


Appropriate-Fly-7151

>Anthony Gordon Again?


Saaheb09

The fuck did kai do to you?


QuaLiTy131

Fucked his dad


Ziz__Bird

wack choices


Ragnangar

Neymar is the only correct answer.


arthur-ghoste

messi


griddymaster20

Then pendu will be the greatest of all time, under the machester oil yellows🐪🐪


Top_Xhaka

Andy Robertson for me.


CaddyAT5

Seconded


KINGY-WINGY

As a Liverpool fan, I love the guy and totally understand this at the same time. He's the perfect wind-up merchant. One of the best at it. Never does too much to get a red, but is constantly under opposition players' skin. That being said, Messi was acting like an entitled 5 year old brat at the anfield game and totally deserved the shove to the back of his head. Robertson did say he overdid it afterward, though.


LGP213

The Miz


distractedsoul27494

But he has a hot wife.


Currywurst_Is_Life

"hot wife" or "hotwife"? There IS a difference.


-DeadHead-

Maybe, but he has tiny balls


Constant-Squirrel555

Ramos


alan_beans

Any Manchester united player


Stoneofshame86

Rodri


[deleted]

Idk any Inter player sounds fine to me


Weary_Literature1506

Antony the flop


AdFront1172

Arsenal fans (I hope they complain the free kick was caused by the VAR "being against them" again)


TitanX11

Erik Lamela. Hate him from his Spurs days. I'd punch him in the face if I met him.


WillowMutual

John McGinn for some reason


nghigaxx

/uj kinda funny that we have rapists, abusers, etc playing right now and most people would still choose bruno because he's being annoying on the field


AFSunred

Luis Suarez, not only the racism but stealing Ghana's spot in the WC semi finals. Waka Waka...this times for Africa


AutoModerator

This subreddit condones racism. You literally have an auto mod bot that says your subreddit is racist against Americans. Reported you to reddit. All I wanted to do was enjoy some football memes but instead people are upvoting posts that say all Americans should die and I'm told to "fuck off yank". Hating an entire country of people because of where they live is not okay. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Rensverbergen

Messi


MovedNutria

Patrice Evra


PortgasDSpade

I second. The real jerk always gets downvoted.


nick5168

Are you a racist Liverpool fan or what's the reason?


PracticalSea6035

Ben chilwell


GTCitizen

Romero


speedb0at

The 🤪👈🏼 guy


thejuanwelove

rodri


WolfGirl_4

The Bruno’s! Probably Bruno G first though


Cardinaltoffee

Anthony Gordon. I think even his family would say his name to this question.


mattrest07

Vinicius jr or rodrygo, vinicius cause he looks like an idiot and rodrygo is insufferable he always acts like a victim after he provoke the players especially after argentina v brazil


AutoModerator

I am argentinian first and foremost. India may be my physical country but Argentina is my spiritual country. I feel as argentinian as I am indian *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccercirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

Yes all blacks are idiot provokers and all argentinshitians don’t have a history of being racist pieces of 💩


mattrest07

No dude, but rodrygo was really a douche by calling argentine players cowards after not wanting to play the argentina v brazil match because argentinians fans getting hurt, he is also a mediocre player overrated as vinicius, dude only had one good season and is enough for being called a world star class player.


kane0820

Bruno G for sure


Aggravating_Egg_143

Bruno fernandes, Bernardo Silva, Antony Gordon, richarlison


DreamIllusion

Bruno Guimarães


revhawk709

Haaland


KemikaaliJussi

Ur mom


SelfLoatherSimo

Bruno, Antony and Enzo


Fatherfuckyou

The time wasting ball boy that tried to ruin eden hazards career


[deleted]

[удалено]


Minute_Difference_96

Who hurt you?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Living-Leg7949

Kante the kinda of man to kidnapp your daughter and then call you and say: Drakkar noir


awe018

Every dolphins of the game.


Skreamie

United fan. I approve.


seshtown

Bruno, and Bruno.


2j_longg

Bruno Fernanch


josepippen

100% this Portuguese fraud. Mf ugly anyways.


ao-ka

United has some real good contenders: Fernandes, Garnacho, Maguire, Antony, Ten Hag...


Significant-Buy-1111

kai havertz


Rescurc

Whoever this goblin is


solfkimb

Ramsdale


FieldsOfKashmir

Any given woman (Greenwood tribute)


FormalPerspective347

Good choice on Bruno, without the swerve obviously!


Critical-Way5817

Any of Manchester United players. They all look like failed nuclear projects, exept Højlund and Pellistri(I totally don't find them cute)


aakash_ab17

Bruno Farnashhhhhhhhhh Right into those bunny teeth


Rsthegoat

gavi


Busquessi

Casemiro


oldsql_aka_bag

Neven Subotic. No contest.


[deleted]

Ribery


nag_some_candy

Vida


softtoffee

Pogba


Shmaden_Yuki

I’m taking that freekick for myself and shooting it at myself (Counterproductive?)


slappymcmanmeat

I’d go Bruno, but could it be straight to his Tony balls?


Torimas

/uj Cold tomato soup, see if it fixes his face. Pigeon guy, see if it fixes his... everything /Rj Benzema 15 times


Kebab_Lord69

Elite question hahahahaha


2000caterpillar

Y’all what did Garnacho do 😭


legendforever10

No one. I mean...why would i want this in the first place?


atlas_shrugged90

Garnacho


freakedmind

Trent 'Can't Defend' Alexander Arnold


I_hate_usernames331

James carragher


Few_Jacket_4675

Roberto would miss, because Bruno never stays central


Hindsyy

If there was Hitler, Bin Laden and Bruno in a room, and Carlos said he can only produce 2 kicks and I had to choose, it would be Bruno twice.


FiveAccountsBanned

Turdchel


Original_Aerie4943

What about the Brazilian Bruno Fernandes that murdered his partner?


sergiofdionisio

Pepe


--lll-era-lll--

I don't know about players but it's a tie between Sean Dyche and Rwoy Hodgson for sheer comedy value but if I had to pick players it's Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher gaffer tapped together and at point blank range for me..


stvvrover

Iain Dowie. Somewhere locked inside under that first layer is a handsome beast.


Augustleo98

John Terry, Jamie Carragher, Wayne Rooney and Gary Neville. I couldn’t pick just one. I’m British but the players with the worst personalities who you just want to see get their heads kicked in always seem to also be British. The younger players like Foden etc don’t make me wanna punch them, they’re much more grounded and don’t act like they want to fight everyone. it’s the 90s to early 2000s players that were complete morons.


fatherlolita

Prolly like half of the players that have been at man u, especially Roy Keane. Why does that club attract the worst kind of egotistical fucks.


[deleted]

Materazzi