One thing that makes me immediately be wary of someone is dismissiveness. When people dismiss others' opinions, feelings, or experiences without consideration, it shows a lack of respect and empathy. It feels like they believe their perspective is the only one that matters, which can be off-putting and alienating and usually the root of many other issues.
It’s either a power or immaturity thing. Regardless, I do think you’ll feel better without that bad energy in your life. I know when I cut my ex off I had so much more time and space to devote to my career, family, friends, etc. because I wasn’t crying over some guy every day 😅 you got this!
My ex was like this, still is. Trust me, I was too blindly in love and just tolerated it, but I got tired of feeling inferior and having my feelings be dismissed so easily.
So does mine but for basic things only, like tv shows, he will say “that show sucks” and I’ve been teaching him that people take that the wrong way. He’s starting to get better at saying “I don’t like that show personally” instead, which is much better. I don’t take offence to it because I know he means he doesn’t like it himself, but he needs to learn the right way to say it.
I learned this lesson too late - I’m nearly 50. But I’m realizing a friend I’ve had for literally 3+ decades does this. I didn’t piece it together until recently. But having a close friend constantly low-key minimize or dismiss your feelings or account of events that happened adds up over time and causes issues. I kick myself daily for not picking up on this sooner, and ending this toxic friendship in our 20s. I had several exes do this too, wish I had known and spotted this behavior with men I dated sooner.
On the flipside, I had an internet friend I’d known maybe five years start doing this about year four of the friendship. Fortunately I recognized the signs and cut her off. It was really weird and dumb - she’d blow up my phone to call and talk to me, and would talk nonstop for *hours* - but minimize everything I said, every opinion I had. What was the point of calling and talking to me so much? Weirdo.
Boasting about themselves or lying to make themselves seem bigger than what they actually are. The side effect of this always means putting others down, which if it is someone else, eventually will become you.
I was about to write this as well. This is a huge turnoff for me. Instantly makes me doubt every word you say if you do this. I have met people like that and they are insufferable and usually don't stop talking about themselves.
Can you give an example? Bc I feel like sometimes I do this but I'm just proud of myself bc I've came so far in life compared to when I was younger. So how do you show how proud of you are about yourself w out being an asshole? I guess no need to show off at all? Don't tell anyone anything type of thing or what?
There is certainly a difference between being proud and boasting. For me what makes a difference is acknowledging that you're not better than everyone else and not one-upping people when they are proud of somethin they did. Especially don't twist the truth or downplay others to make you seem better than them. Also don't bring up the same accomplishments time and time again and just generally be modest about it I guess. I think these are mostly narcissistic traits, but I have met my fair share lol.
The boasting ugh. One time I was showing a new hire around and he interrupted me to say “you know I have a degree in art… right?” To which I responded “cool me too, so this is where we get our freight from….” I absolutely couldn’t stand him from that moment on.
Being nasty for no reason (mostly see this online) people become brave behind the anonymous screen. I am thinking a lot of people vent their secret nastiness online too. It's sad. Attacking people for the pleasure of it.
You also see this in groups in real life as well when people dog pile and "other" a particular person out of a group.
They become very bold, disrespectful, mean, and brave. I can't stand that crap.
That really depends on what kind of nice though. Or maybe I'm just ignorant on the subject since maybe I've never encountered it. Can you elaborate a little on what you mean?
Definitely. In my experience, the most dangerous, discriminatory and manipulative people act the nicest, to conceal their character so others won't believe their victims.
I hate that people feel this way.
I was just naturally nice because I loved people and others were suspicious of me. It’s very hurtful over a long period.
It always amazes me how many people will go out of their way to attack you for a comment pointing out potential abuse or providing resources to someone. They could just scroll down but so many people choose to attack someone trying to help. I've literally seen posts of women showing their black eyes and sharing how terrified they were and detailing years of horrific abuse and some boys will respond to a comment saying theyre so sorry that happened to her and say, "what about him? She must have done something to deserve it. He's now being painted as evil"
One-uppers. Like you can’t talk about anything because they’re always trying to one-up you, like it’s a competition. That, and people who pretend that they know everything, so whatever you tell them they’re like “oh, I know/knew that already” like, you can’t possibly know every single thing.
I deal with this with my boyfriend’s brother. It’s like he doesn’t understand I’m trying to have a conversation with him. I’ll talk to him about something I experienced or am doing, trying to start a conversation. He’ll just go, “I watched a video on that already. Or “Yeah, I know what that is already” ugh!!
Not every single thing. But there are people who know a metric ton of shit. Those people may also mention when they don't know something, sometimes it's just rarer than you'd think.
I feel like I’m one of those people. I don’t have one thing I know a lot about but I know a good deal about a LOT of things. Because I have ADHD and my interests are all over the board and I’ve gone down so many different rabbit holes and obsessions.
But with that being said, I don’t chime in with “I already knew that” every time someone explains something to me that I already know. I just nod along because there’s no reason to be an ass. Sometimes I’ll mention “oh yeah I think i saw that” or something but sometimes it’s best to just go along with it
💯 this is the BIGGEST dislike for me. I immediately don’t like you and never will if I see or hear about you being mean to any animal. It’s disgusting. Anyone that does is just a weak ass loser that doesn’t belong here on Earth…or anywhere
I came here to say this too. Immediately being mean or rude upon meeting someone is just a red flag for me. You barely know me and you're already rude? I can't imagine what you'd be like if I actually was your friend/family member.
Unlike most of the new slang, at least the meaning of “aura points” seems fairly self-evident. Who the heck is Ice Spice? Question coming from an Old Spice who hasn't been rizzed up in years.
Ohh, thanks. I was thinking of Ice Spice as a fictional archetype, like the 7th Spice Girl or something. 😆
But even had I realised she's an actual performer, wouldn't have known that being a lookalike was all about the gyat.
I’m close with all of my coworkers and whenever this happens(especially if I’m not involved) I just walk away. I don’t want to contribute to this lol…
I wasn’t there, therefore I can’t have an opinion since I don’t know what actually happened. Truly, I don’t care.
Inconsiderate… and rude.
People who talk over others, or when someone is sharing a story, another person tries to one up them.
People who rush into an elevator before waiting to see if someone is getting off when the doors open (if there’s people inside)
Now, not an immediate dislike, but something I notice immediately is when people use or don’t use Please and Thank You’s.
It means I never immediately dislike anyone. I treat every new person as a person I don’t know. If they’re a dickface scumbag—they always work very hard to earn my dislike. Probably because that’s what dickface scumbags do best.
Sounding negative and know it all at the same time. Or, being impossibly positive such that it's an exhausting benchmark everyone now has to keep up with.
I feel it’s definitely more “are you depressed and suicidal!? It’s okay go to the gym and meditate!! Think about how amazing life it!” Rather than being a very friendly person off the bat, which is nice. When I meet someone for the first time, I don’t want to talk about negative things. You are just socially conscious haha
I’m the first one, I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it out to me now I can’t stop noticing it but I also find it hard to stop. I’m just depressed and miserable lol
There’s a superior at my husband’s job that calls him “babydoll.” She isn’t saying it to be sweet, or flirtatious; she’s being condescending. I don’t know how he doesn’t lose his temper.
O please tell him to call her a "big girl" or something.
It might not work if he only does it once.
He must remember that this is a test. He must persist in doing it.
At some point there'll be a power shift.
Then again, she might have other tricks up her sleeve. If so, he must keep on putting her in her place.
There are more mature ways of handling it, but that's a good start.
I am from the South (NC born and raised now in TX) and I say "Dear" all the time. Thanks for bringing to my attention that this might come off as condescending. It's definitely not my intention. I worry about assuming someone's pronouns if I don't know them and "Dear" was my solution. I will reconsider from now on.
People who dominate the conversation. And if they ask me a question and then cut me off while I'm answering and start talking about themselves again. Makes me want to disconnect immediately.
Liars. People who aren't self-aware yet act like they know everything about everybody.
Faking kindness for the sake of attention,
people whose whole conversation revolves and starts with "no offence,....".
Stupid little pricks in adult bodies who want to be worshipped yet have no qualities whatsoever to have worshippers.
When they immediately talk shit about other people and do it constantly
When they treat people who are “different” to the mainstream badly
When they advocate for violence
When they’re loud, arrogant, obnoxious, attention seeking.
IMO when I met someone new, immediate turn-offs include rudeness, interrupting, negativity, judgmental comments, dishonesty, inconsiderate behavior, and lack of empathy.
These actions quickly create a negative impression and hinder forming a positive connection.
add the "speaking on the phone in a small breakroom"
I learn how my coworker plan to create fake job reference for his friends, my 30 minutes minidrama for free.
Poking holes in my stories and everything I say.
I’m not trying to actively lie to you. Or to make myself seem like such an amazing interesting person. I want to build a report with you. If I misspoke on a fact I’m sorry
Inactive listening. You have started the conversation with me. I am only being in kind and continuing it for you. However every time I say something it’s like talking to a blank wall. Just a blank stare. 😐 but when I ask about your interest and hobbies it’s like 😀
When in a group, 'social predators' who keeps pointing out things you say; how you say them; choice of words - ridiculing you for your interest and hobbies and overall redirecting all attention towards you, demanding that you explain yourself over the most trivial things
its usually the people who ask you why you are so quiet, as if they grew up having orbiters around them that were interested in them and therefore they have made it a habit to see all other people as more playthings places upon this earth to entertain them
109% this. Was surrounded by only people like this growing up and in my early 20s until I moved away. I always thought there was something wrong with me, until I realised my family and the people in the town I used to live in were/are the strange ones.
Omg, luckily i've met someone trying to Seinfeld his conversation.
I had to spend so much energy watching what I say because he derails every conversation with a snappy comment that just needs a laughing tract.
0/10 reserved this treatment for dictators.
Too much trauma dumping at the first meeting. Like, I have gone through a lot of abuse, but a random stranger you're trying to befriend is not your therapist. They make it their whole personality. Same with people who talk about politics 24/7.
Sorry. I do this inadvertently sometimes. I'm not good at small talk and go straight into meatier stuff and without realising I divulge too much. I've become far more aware of it now and try to rein it in but sometimes I fail. I have also since learned that this is part of my neurodiversity - this doesn't excuse it, but gives me a reason and something to work with to get better at not doing it.
Sorry to hear you went through that, but yes I agree. Like am here to talk to you about hobbies dawg not your deepest darkest secrets within a few hours of us chatting. I would appreciate it if people would ask if they can vent instead of just trauma dumping.
I can’t stand people who elevate themselves above others. Constantly looking down their noses and letting others know that they feel superior. Putting value in things that don’t matter. Rather than the worth of a human being , tells a lot about a person.
A past friend met a new guy before her divorce, which was in the works. The first time I met him, he looked OVER my head...he never looked me in the eye. I always had a weird feeling about him. When my ex met him, his 1st comment after they left was "he's a snake." I totally trust my ex's opinion. This new guy was bad news.
Anger management issues. If people can’t even keep it together without becoming impatient, rude, and angry over minor daily annoyances, I know they’re likely going to be absolutely awful people when something more serious happens, and I’m judging them hard.
I have anger management issues when it comes to people with anger management issues 🤣 For example a customer yelling at a cashier, I just cannot hold back, I’m going to yell twice as loud at rude customer.
Braggers
People that want to be stuck in the “High school mentality” and don’t show any personal mental growth.
People who are successful in terms of money, careers,automobiles, and other goods make fun of those whom they believe are "below" their position in comparison to themselves.
Refering to people as adjectives i.e., "female/male". The nouns are woman/man.
Being dismissive.
Listening to respond or not listening at all.
Making fun of someone as opposed to making fun with someone. There's a line between banter and being mean.
People who make excuses for sex offenders (this has become quite common since the Epstein, Weinstein, R. Kelly, Cosby situations have come to light).
Negative and/or mean spirited people.
People who have to constantly be the center of attention.
People who pitch up to important situations (work, kids sports function, recitals, dates, etc) drunk or on drugs.
People who brag about neglecting their kids or "never having time for them" or treat people they're meant to love as an obligation/inconvenience.
I appreciate this because you are correct. Female and male can be nouns, specifically when refering to animals or plants. That's why I specified my statement with a reference to people.
The argument that humans are animals can be made as well. However, humans specifically have the terms man, woman, boy, girl. The terms male and female are used in certain situations such as medical and law enforcement, but even then it would usually be an adjective- the design of it being the aspect of detachment along with relevance.
"She and some other females went to the bar"
Versus
"Female patient presented with ABC"
Or
"The female minor was taken by child services"
Being short-tempered and no inhibition when it comes to being impolite or rude. Especially when they try to frame it as “oh, I’m just very blunt and honest”. No, you just want an excuse to be an asshole.
Also not being able to talk to someone who has different opinions than you. It shows lack of critical thinking and emotional maturity. You can’t surround yourself with people who agree with you on everything, you don’t learn or grow that way. Shows me you aren’t confident in your own beliefs or opinions…
I agree with a lot of the comments but idk if I saw anything specific about pushy, overbearing people. I feel like as a generally very laid back person I get targeted by these personalities because they seem to think I’ll just do whatever they want, but lucky for myself I have an internal mostly buried stubbornness that usually only comes out when I feel like I’m being told how to live my life, intruded upon or being taken advantage of. Like just let people live their life man lol.
I can relate. I'm usually willing to be super accommodating in all sorts of situations, like swapping work shifts or doing people a favor here and there. I'm very "go with the flow" and will volunteer to do a task no one else wants to do, because I have a high tolerance for stuff like that so I usually don't mind. But as soon as I realize someone's taking advantage of this, they're cut out of my life.
I unfortunately had to do that at work recently. The two senior members of my team were outwardly singing my praises while secretly screwing me over. We were super short-staffed at the time (hmm, wonder why) so when I suddenly switched to a different team, they ended up having to pick up the giant amount of slack I had been carrying for years. They tried to delay my switch date, but luckily my manager saw right through it and shut them down! I'm so much happier now.
Majority of the comments in this post can be summarized as being disrespectful. It's a guarantee I will distance as well as anyone that associates with that person.
When they spend too much time putting down other people. I can deal with a negative comment here and there. Sometimes I make a negative comment about someone. But when you do it too much, it’s just too much negativity. Also if someone is constantly putting down the same person over and over but never saying anything to their face, it starts to sound more like jealousy than a legitimate complaint.
Rudeness, malice, deliberately inconsiderate or manipulative behaviour, and disloyalty.
Examples:
1) Cutting in line.
2) Consistently talking over others in order to dominate the conversation.
3) Being mean-spirited and gossipy.
4) Taking advantage of others for gain or amusement.
5) Misreating those with less power (employees, service staff, homeless people, animals...).
6) Being intolerant and narrow-minded.
7) Littering on purpose.
8) Infidelity.
Most things, if I'm being honest. It's part of the entire reason I'm even on this sub lol. I automatically don't trust almost everyone and *really* dislike living in a society that relies so heavily on communicating with and relying on other people. People are responsible for all the worlds problems if you think about it.
- Bragging, especially about material things such as having a fancy car, big house, high paying job, etc. Similarly, when being materialistic is their whole personality (e.g., telling everyone they ONLY buy designer shoes, clothes, bags, etc and would never shop at “normal” stores like Target or TJ Maxx).
- Showing no interest in getting to know others and/or acting like other peoples’ careers, hobbies or interests are below them.
- Trying to be “controversial” or “edgy” aka picking fights about politics, religion, etc completely unprovoked with people they barely know.
- Making racist, homophobic, or otherwise hateful “jokes” or comments to or in front of people they barely know. If that’s how you make a first impression, I’d hate to see how you act when you get comfortable.
Talking shit about another person’s appearance.
I will admit I’ve done that, but only if their character was ugly too. Some adults still act like high school bullies and it’s gross. “Omg why don’t they shave their armpits ew” why do you fucking care? “They have so much acne!” Okay and? We all get acne it’s natural.
Like please shut the fuck up…
Besides the typical stuff, arrogance, lack of sense of humor, etc...I've been meeting a higher number of flat earthers and antivaxxers lately....can't do it, I can't even humor them anymore, I gotta walk away
Being rude or dismissive,shit talking about their "friends" talking down to wait staff or rasing their voice at any type of person that's providing them a service, thinking they are better than others, picking on people that can't or wont defend themselves.
Exploiting people's kindness.
I can forgive so much, we are selfish, hurt children doing the best we can to be the grown ups now and I get that.
When I see someone take advantage of the good in another, especially to harm them. I become murderous. I don't dislike this person, I want to remove them from all of existence.
Not doing your research before getting a pet. This applies to not training dogs that are high energy, declawing cats, and not understanding a reptiles setup. If you squish bugs for fun, we aren't friends.
When someone who is new to a group (like a new partner of someone in the friend group) and they refuse to talk to anyone but their partner whenever everyone hangs out. Does the silent dead stare at whoever is trying to include them or ask them a question.
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*Edit: god dammit I just realized that I’m kind of that person.* I’ve always had a hard time in new social situations, and being ugly and autistic with a RBF doesn’t help.
Loud people in public. Meaning they don’t have an inside voice at all. Taking calls or watching videos without headphones. Children running around disturbing others while the parents ignore it. People that stand to close in line and invade my personal space. I move away and they move closer. That is creepy annoying
I don’t care for people with main character energy. Too loud, too bossy, too showy, all eyes on me types. I just don’t get on well with those kinds of people.
Someone who constantly complain about everyone daily/every min and when they’re called out. They don’t take accountability and bring up more gossip. I don’t mind when people complain it’s normal but if it’s something a person does all the time. I find it extremely annoying. 😅
If they speak loudly, I immediately hate their guts and their presence alone is enough to make me uncomfortable.
Laughing loudly annoys me too, but it is slightly more forgiveable since they won't be laughing all the time.
People who make assumptions about me. I’m pretty shy and a handful people in my life (roommates and coworkers) have taken it very personally. I’ve been labeled as aloof or worst yet as a mean girl by these people largely because I need a few days to warm up and I look a certain way.
I actually directly addressed my roommate not too long ago. She never spoke to me for an entire year but went around calling me a mean girl. I asked her why I can’t be shy but she can. It wasn’t a fruitful conversation but that’s the exact type of person I don’t like. I get along very well with people who do give me a chance to acclimate.
Lmao 🤣 I can’t stand it, but I am also very guilty of it at the same time. it’s very common for people with ADHD to interrupt during conversation because of how our brains work. And I laugh because when im having conversations w friends who also have adhd, it’s a mess, but we understand that it happens. Doesn’t stop it from being annoying though.
I hate these kinds of question threads because the top answers are always the same and completely inapplicable to real life.
Considering the topic of the subreddit, people are here to learn how to be more social, and reading about how it's bad to be mean to other people or pets isn't really going to help, everybody is aware of that.
Generalizing groups of people: i.e., “all men…”Negativity and playing victim, like blaming everything on other people or situations. Lack of self awareness and accountability.
lack of or a disregard for spatial awareness. if you’re in a public space where people are milling about trying to live their lives and have absolutely no qualms about standing in the middle of a doorway, a sidewalk, an aisle, a road, a staircase, any pathway that facilitates movement, i instantly understand you to be either:
willingly inconsiderate
or
obliviously self absorbed
or
a combination of both
albeit we are all only human, and i will own up to my own occasional, oblivious navel gazing moments in public, but i have enough awareness to generally catch myself in those moments and take a step to the side and far from the center. when someone just stands there, like some sort of mouth breathing monolith of humanity, i will lose any assumption of basic respect i credit any stranger with upon crossing paths with them.
I think everyone does this on accident occasionally because the human brain is not capable of multitasking. But I can usually tell pretty plainly if they’re just not paying attention or they’re basically taking up space subconsciously or consciously as a way to exert their superiority lol
When they are too negative. You just met them and they’re already talking negatively about other people, or constantly complaining. Theyre usually the problem.
Ignorance and/or unwillingness to learn of the most basic facts. I don't expect everyone to know everything, but have an open mind!
I've been called annoying because I ask questions all the time. Even at work people hate when you ask why a process is done a certain way.
those who treat those beneath them badly while acting polite to those above them
INSTANT RED FLAG
those who encrouage others to do dangerous or reckless stuff for their own fun
those who make fun OF you not WITH YOU
those who discourage you in an UNPRODUCTIVE way(you suck anyway why even try)
It may sound basic, but people who can't accept constructive criticism. People who are "I do what I want" and fight their ass to have *the last word* when they are pointed out. Basically, a bitch.
Another one is persons in group who defend someone else despite not knowing anything of the lore behind the fighting. They sincerely deserve a wet slap.
I love golf and meet other folks who play. The ones that immediately report their low handicap and scores, usually turn out to be douch bags. Also, rarely do they don’t have the game they say they have. I let the clubs do the talking. It’s great fun whooping up on guys 20 years younger than me. 👺
People that act like they are more morally superior than other people.
Words are cheap.
When they are put to the test, it’s like, “Not in my Backyard!!” Bull 💩
-Girls pumped with botox and coated with makeup displaying mean girl behaviour.
-Guys that are jacked and wear a tank top and REALLY care about their shoes and have an extremely fragile ego.
-Anybody that thinks they are above anybody else, or cooler, or hotter…etc.
-Girls that assume that every man has a crush on them or is checking them out.
-Guys that have really sexist views on how women should behave.
-Can’t get off their phone and especially if they ask you to repeat what you said because they were ignoring you for their phone.
-vanity.
-Just…modern society and people in general. Not a fan.
I went to a bbq at a friends the other day and there was 5 of us. One guy I hadn’t met before. He seemed to make a conscious effort to not look at or engage with me after the initial introduction. Actually didn’t even tell me his name or speak to me when I shook his hand. He seemed uncomfortable with me, all my other friends are very warm open people so to me at least he really stuck out in this context. If we continue to hang out I’m hoping he will learn his manners
The most annoying thing for me is when they criticize everyone for different actions, but if they do it, they don’t find it wrong. This pisses me off by far the most.
And being dissmisive. Lack of self awareness.
Someone who saids something and does the opposite; people who don’t know how to clean up after themselves; someone who doesn’t know how to be open minded/ dismissive people; someone who doesn’t want to compromise; people who use you for their own good and don’t bother making a connection with you; nosey people who gossip; loud people who talk over you and just make you feel ignored; people who have a strict first impression rule and make assumptions about you…People who make me feel invisible and not important .
Pretty standard things like bad social manners and bad appearance (body odour, dirty unwashed hair, wearing clothes that don't fit and everyone can see your bra/boxes or showing too much skin in a bad way). I also find that oversharing right off the bat is a turn-off.
Was talking to this girl, met her once at a party. I said I loved a certain band, she said she also loved them. I loved a certain artist, she also loved them, etc, etc. She then admitted to me a few weeks later that she lied about liking all the same things as me because she "wanted to impress me".
Such a turn off :/ I hate when people lie about themselves like that and think that *I* am so shallow that I cannot fathom getting to know someone that has separate interests than me.
Also people who text as hru, wassup, wsg, and cut short everything even if they're a grown goddamn adult. Really kills the desire to have a conversation.
So often I hear people gossiping to their friends about the meanest, pettiest, most hurtful shit they know about people whose faces they’d smile to. I think it’s a symptom of college. When I hear that I just think to myself “they’re not on my team” and I move on.
Not so much that I hold a deep dislike for the person, but people that don’t push in their chairs when they get up from a table? Yeah, I judge those people kinda harshly. It’s so easy and such a basic manner.
When they start bragging especially about things they didn't achieve themselves like how rich they are or the cars they own but it's all their parents' money HAHAHAHA
I'm a very genuine person and I do everything with purpose and care. If you are constantly jerking me around with the "oh I'm just kidding!" shit I will avoid you lmao
While some of these are legitimately bad, I think it’s important to keep in mind that a good number of us are on here because we are neurodivergent and don’t just pick up on unwritten social rules.
I can tell you I often speak loudly because I genuinely have difficulty with volume control. I accidentally interrupt people because I don’t catch the natural timing in conversations when it’s my turn to speak. I may seem to dominate conversations because I struggle with give and take in a discussion. I seem to often not listen actively because I have a million other thoughts pinging around in my head that I can’t control. Getting diagnosed with autism and ADHD in my 40s explained a lot of my lifelong social issues and why I often fail with “thin slice judgements.”
I guess my pet peeve is having someone assume that I’m doing something they perceive as rude purposely and with harmful intent when I honestly have no idea I’m even doing the action perceived to be rude.
I find it enlightening to see these conversations where people share explicitly what is usually unspoken.
It is also a bit overwhelming. What seems natural to most is a lot of very challenging work for some of us and is often why I make a choice to stick to myself.
Some of these comments, likely unintentionally, translate into coding neurotypical behavior as the only “good” way to interact.
One thing that makes me immediately be wary of someone is dismissiveness. When people dismiss others' opinions, feelings, or experiences without consideration, it shows a lack of respect and empathy. It feels like they believe their perspective is the only one that matters, which can be off-putting and alienating and usually the root of many other issues.
You just described the relationship between me and my mom. It's the reason why I don't want to be around her. She has no idea how toxic she is.
Yeah my boyfriend does this, i might have to break it off, i need emotion support. (Ill edit after breaking up) Its done, im over this bullshit
My ex did this too - “normal people wouldn’t care if I did XYZ so why do you?” Key word: ex
Id tell him things make me feel jealous or angry,but he just keeps doing it.
That doesn't sound very healthy in the long run.
Yeah ive taken the pink lenses off now im looking to break it off with him.
It’s either a power or immaturity thing. Regardless, I do think you’ll feel better without that bad energy in your life. I know when I cut my ex off I had so much more time and space to devote to my career, family, friends, etc. because I wasn’t crying over some guy every day 😅 you got this!
Thanks 😁
My ex was like this, still is. Trust me, I was too blindly in love and just tolerated it, but I got tired of feeling inferior and having my feelings be dismissed so easily.
So does mine but for basic things only, like tv shows, he will say “that show sucks” and I’ve been teaching him that people take that the wrong way. He’s starting to get better at saying “I don’t like that show personally” instead, which is much better. I don’t take offence to it because I know he means he doesn’t like it himself, but he needs to learn the right way to say it.
My boyfriend doesnt even do thay, hed made me pissed then tell me to "Calm Down" he doesnt get it
Invalidating and dismissing your feelings is a totally different beast. That’s unacceptable
I learned this lesson too late - I’m nearly 50. But I’m realizing a friend I’ve had for literally 3+ decades does this. I didn’t piece it together until recently. But having a close friend constantly low-key minimize or dismiss your feelings or account of events that happened adds up over time and causes issues. I kick myself daily for not picking up on this sooner, and ending this toxic friendship in our 20s. I had several exes do this too, wish I had known and spotted this behavior with men I dated sooner. On the flipside, I had an internet friend I’d known maybe five years start doing this about year four of the friendship. Fortunately I recognized the signs and cut her off. It was really weird and dumb - she’d blow up my phone to call and talk to me, and would talk nonstop for *hours* - but minimize everything I said, every opinion I had. What was the point of calling and talking to me so much? Weirdo.
Boasting about themselves or lying to make themselves seem bigger than what they actually are. The side effect of this always means putting others down, which if it is someone else, eventually will become you.
I was about to write this as well. This is a huge turnoff for me. Instantly makes me doubt every word you say if you do this. I have met people like that and they are insufferable and usually don't stop talking about themselves.
Can you give an example? Bc I feel like sometimes I do this but I'm just proud of myself bc I've came so far in life compared to when I was younger. So how do you show how proud of you are about yourself w out being an asshole? I guess no need to show off at all? Don't tell anyone anything type of thing or what?
There is certainly a difference between being proud and boasting. For me what makes a difference is acknowledging that you're not better than everyone else and not one-upping people when they are proud of somethin they did. Especially don't twist the truth or downplay others to make you seem better than them. Also don't bring up the same accomplishments time and time again and just generally be modest about it I guess. I think these are mostly narcissistic traits, but I have met my fair share lol.
The boasting ugh. One time I was showing a new hire around and he interrupted me to say “you know I have a degree in art… right?” To which I responded “cool me too, so this is where we get our freight from….” I absolutely couldn’t stand him from that moment on.
Ugh I worked with a guy like that. You soon learned to believe 10-20% of what he said. And was always putting down everyone
Being nasty for no reason (mostly see this online) people become brave behind the anonymous screen. I am thinking a lot of people vent their secret nastiness online too. It's sad. Attacking people for the pleasure of it.
You also see this in groups in real life as well when people dog pile and "other" a particular person out of a group. They become very bold, disrespectful, mean, and brave. I can't stand that crap.
Conversely, being too nice is also suspicious.
That really depends on what kind of nice though. Or maybe I'm just ignorant on the subject since maybe I've never encountered it. Can you elaborate a little on what you mean?
Fake nice, too nice, too fast. Those kind of people usually are only nice when they think you can do something for them.
Definitely. In my experience, the most dangerous, discriminatory and manipulative people act the nicest, to conceal their character so others won't believe their victims.
I hate that people feel this way. I was just naturally nice because I loved people and others were suspicious of me. It’s very hurtful over a long period.
It always amazes me how many people will go out of their way to attack you for a comment pointing out potential abuse or providing resources to someone. They could just scroll down but so many people choose to attack someone trying to help. I've literally seen posts of women showing their black eyes and sharing how terrified they were and detailing years of horrific abuse and some boys will respond to a comment saying theyre so sorry that happened to her and say, "what about him? She must have done something to deserve it. He's now being painted as evil"
One-uppers. Like you can’t talk about anything because they’re always trying to one-up you, like it’s a competition. That, and people who pretend that they know everything, so whatever you tell them they’re like “oh, I know/knew that already” like, you can’t possibly know every single thing.
Or they're like:"That old stuff. That was a thing 3 years ago." Immediate hate.
I deal with this with my boyfriend’s brother. It’s like he doesn’t understand I’m trying to have a conversation with him. I’ll talk to him about something I experienced or am doing, trying to start a conversation. He’ll just go, “I watched a video on that already. Or “Yeah, I know what that is already” ugh!!
That is someone that doesn’t want to talk to you
Not every single thing. But there are people who know a metric ton of shit. Those people may also mention when they don't know something, sometimes it's just rarer than you'd think.
I feel like I’m one of those people. I don’t have one thing I know a lot about but I know a good deal about a LOT of things. Because I have ADHD and my interests are all over the board and I’ve gone down so many different rabbit holes and obsessions. But with that being said, I don’t chime in with “I already knew that” every time someone explains something to me that I already know. I just nod along because there’s no reason to be an ass. Sometimes I’ll mention “oh yeah I think i saw that” or something but sometimes it’s best to just go along with it
Being mean to their pets or animals in general Edit: spellingcontrol error
Instant turn off for me too!
💯 this is the BIGGEST dislike for me. I immediately don’t like you and never will if I see or hear about you being mean to any animal. It’s disgusting. Anyone that does is just a weak ass loser that doesn’t belong here on Earth…or anywhere
Not being only mean, but if someone says they don't like animals, they hate cats, dogs, and so on. Instant 🚫 for me, bye.
I came here to say this too. Immediately being mean or rude upon meeting someone is just a red flag for me. You barely know me and you're already rude? I can't imagine what you'd be like if I actually was your friend/family member.
That's not even dislike, that's straight beheading.
Someone who constantly keeps gossiping about others, it never stops, and it gets irritating really quickly
True. -1000 aura points. Like what am I supposed to say when I don’t even know the person that you keep rambling about?
Negative aura points made me lol.
Same because I’m 26 and have no idea what “aura points” are, am I that old? Can someone explain? 😭🤣
its tiktok its a new slang we made up like 2 weeks ago
Unlike most of the new slang, at least the meaning of “aura points” seems fairly self-evident. Who the heck is Ice Spice? Question coming from an Old Spice who hasn't been rizzed up in years.
shes only famous cuz she has a voluminous booty
Ohh, thanks. I was thinking of Ice Spice as a fictional archetype, like the 7th Spice Girl or something. 😆 But even had I realised she's an actual performer, wouldn't have known that being a lookalike was all about the gyat.
I’m close with all of my coworkers and whenever this happens(especially if I’m not involved) I just walk away. I don’t want to contribute to this lol… I wasn’t there, therefore I can’t have an opinion since I don’t know what actually happened. Truly, I don’t care.
They're the type to say they hate drama when it's them who are always involved in it
Inconsiderate… and rude. People who talk over others, or when someone is sharing a story, another person tries to one up them. People who rush into an elevator before waiting to see if someone is getting off when the doors open (if there’s people inside) Now, not an immediate dislike, but something I notice immediately is when people use or don’t use Please and Thank You’s.
I don’t immediately dislike anyone. They have to earn it.
I can relate. I immediately assume everyone is my buddy.
I don’t assume they’re my buddy. But maybe they could be.
Here we go. You just met the person. Give them some grace, jesus
It means I never immediately dislike anyone. I treat every new person as a person I don’t know. If they’re a dickface scumbag—they always work very hard to earn my dislike. Probably because that’s what dickface scumbags do best.
Sounding negative and know it all at the same time. Or, being impossibly positive such that it's an exhausting benchmark everyone now has to keep up with.
I feel like unconsciously do the second when I first meet someone and try to be nice :/
I feel it’s definitely more “are you depressed and suicidal!? It’s okay go to the gym and meditate!! Think about how amazing life it!” Rather than being a very friendly person off the bat, which is nice. When I meet someone for the first time, I don’t want to talk about negative things. You are just socially conscious haha
I’m the first one, I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it out to me now I can’t stop noticing it but I also find it hard to stop. I’m just depressed and miserable lol
Condescending, patronizing attitude.🙄 Especially if that includes calling others: Dear, Hon or Sweety!!
There’s a superior at my husband’s job that calls him “babydoll.” She isn’t saying it to be sweet, or flirtatious; she’s being condescending. I don’t know how he doesn’t lose his temper.
O please tell him to call her a "big girl" or something. It might not work if he only does it once. He must remember that this is a test. He must persist in doing it. At some point there'll be a power shift. Then again, she might have other tricks up her sleeve. If so, he must keep on putting her in her place. There are more mature ways of handling it, but that's a good start.
I am from the South (NC born and raised now in TX) and I say "Dear" all the time. Thanks for bringing to my attention that this might come off as condescending. It's definitely not my intention. I worry about assuming someone's pronouns if I don't know them and "Dear" was my solution. I will reconsider from now on.
Omg, My sister got angry when a clerk obviously in her 30's using the "hon" & Sweety on her.
Have the “You’re younger so your opinion does not count” mindset
You’re older so your opinion doesn’t count mindset
As someone who apparently looks younger, this is particularly irritating to hear because the people saying it aren't actually older. (I'm 44)
People who dominate the conversation. And if they ask me a question and then cut me off while I'm answering and start talking about themselves again. Makes me want to disconnect immediately.
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Liars. People who aren't self-aware yet act like they know everything about everybody. Faking kindness for the sake of attention, people whose whole conversation revolves and starts with "no offence,....". Stupid little pricks in adult bodies who want to be worshipped yet have no qualities whatsoever to have worshippers.
When they immediately talk shit about other people and do it constantly When they treat people who are “different” to the mainstream badly When they advocate for violence When they’re loud, arrogant, obnoxious, attention seeking.
This. All of this.
Casually inconveniencing other people purely for their own benefit
IMO when I met someone new, immediate turn-offs include rudeness, interrupting, negativity, judgmental comments, dishonesty, inconsiderate behavior, and lack of empathy. These actions quickly create a negative impression and hinder forming a positive connection.
People who are condescending and/or inconsiderate.
Letting their kids listen to a device in a public place without headphones. We can never be friends.
add the "speaking on the phone in a small breakroom" I learn how my coworker plan to create fake job reference for his friends, my 30 minutes minidrama for free.
Someone who is constantly on their phone, like in the middle of a conversation. You can’t wait to look at your phone for a couple minutes.
Poking holes in my stories and everything I say. I’m not trying to actively lie to you. Or to make myself seem like such an amazing interesting person. I want to build a report with you. If I misspoke on a fact I’m sorry Inactive listening. You have started the conversation with me. I am only being in kind and continuing it for you. However every time I say something it’s like talking to a blank wall. Just a blank stare. 😐 but when I ask about your interest and hobbies it’s like 😀
>Inactive listening. That's why a friend of mine is no longer a friend of mine. It took me way too long to see that.
When in a group, 'social predators' who keeps pointing out things you say; how you say them; choice of words - ridiculing you for your interest and hobbies and overall redirecting all attention towards you, demanding that you explain yourself over the most trivial things its usually the people who ask you why you are so quiet, as if they grew up having orbiters around them that were interested in them and therefore they have made it a habit to see all other people as more playthings places upon this earth to entertain them
109% this. Was surrounded by only people like this growing up and in my early 20s until I moved away. I always thought there was something wrong with me, until I realised my family and the people in the town I used to live in were/are the strange ones.
Omg, luckily i've met someone trying to Seinfeld his conversation. I had to spend so much energy watching what I say because he derails every conversation with a snappy comment that just needs a laughing tract. 0/10 reserved this treatment for dictators.
Too much trauma dumping at the first meeting. Like, I have gone through a lot of abuse, but a random stranger you're trying to befriend is not your therapist. They make it their whole personality. Same with people who talk about politics 24/7.
Sorry. I do this inadvertently sometimes. I'm not good at small talk and go straight into meatier stuff and without realising I divulge too much. I've become far more aware of it now and try to rein it in but sometimes I fail. I have also since learned that this is part of my neurodiversity - this doesn't excuse it, but gives me a reason and something to work with to get better at not doing it.
I am guilty of this, damn.... I cringe hard thinking how other people learn about my surgery scar at parties. I was not even drunk.
Sorry to hear you went through that, but yes I agree. Like am here to talk to you about hobbies dawg not your deepest darkest secrets within a few hours of us chatting. I would appreciate it if people would ask if they can vent instead of just trauma dumping.
I can’t stand people who elevate themselves above others. Constantly looking down their noses and letting others know that they feel superior. Putting value in things that don’t matter. Rather than the worth of a human being , tells a lot about a person.
A past friend met a new guy before her divorce, which was in the works. The first time I met him, he looked OVER my head...he never looked me in the eye. I always had a weird feeling about him. When my ex met him, his 1st comment after they left was "he's a snake." I totally trust my ex's opinion. This new guy was bad news.
Anger management issues. If people can’t even keep it together without becoming impatient, rude, and angry over minor daily annoyances, I know they’re likely going to be absolutely awful people when something more serious happens, and I’m judging them hard.
I have anger management issues when it comes to people with anger management issues 🤣 For example a customer yelling at a cashier, I just cannot hold back, I’m going to yell twice as loud at rude customer.
Anyone that still talks about how they "ran" high-school or beat up a lot of people in high-school.
Very critical who basically bully you and gossip about people they say are close to them.
People who are rude to restaurant servers or other service workers. Immediate dealbreaker.
Braggers People that want to be stuck in the “High school mentality” and don’t show any personal mental growth. People who are successful in terms of money, careers,automobiles, and other goods make fun of those whom they believe are "below" their position in comparison to themselves.
„I am not a racist, but [basic racist stuff]“
Treating anyone in service poorly
This. Or when you hold the door open for someone or say hi and they say nothing.
I was looking for this one… I used to date a guy who was awful to waitresses and never left tips… that was just a huge “yuck” to me…
Refering to people as adjectives i.e., "female/male". The nouns are woman/man. Being dismissive. Listening to respond or not listening at all. Making fun of someone as opposed to making fun with someone. There's a line between banter and being mean. People who make excuses for sex offenders (this has become quite common since the Epstein, Weinstein, R. Kelly, Cosby situations have come to light). Negative and/or mean spirited people. People who have to constantly be the center of attention. People who pitch up to important situations (work, kids sports function, recitals, dates, etc) drunk or on drugs. People who brag about neglecting their kids or "never having time for them" or treat people they're meant to love as an obligation/inconvenience.
I agree but female is a noun as well as an adjective
I appreciate this because you are correct. Female and male can be nouns, specifically when refering to animals or plants. That's why I specified my statement with a reference to people. The argument that humans are animals can be made as well. However, humans specifically have the terms man, woman, boy, girl. The terms male and female are used in certain situations such as medical and law enforcement, but even then it would usually be an adjective- the design of it being the aspect of detachment along with relevance. "She and some other females went to the bar" Versus "Female patient presented with ABC" Or "The female minor was taken by child services"
Being short-tempered and no inhibition when it comes to being impolite or rude. Especially when they try to frame it as “oh, I’m just very blunt and honest”. No, you just want an excuse to be an asshole.
Attempts to physically intimidate others, even subtly, without any justifications.
Also not being able to talk to someone who has different opinions than you. It shows lack of critical thinking and emotional maturity. You can’t surround yourself with people who agree with you on everything, you don’t learn or grow that way. Shows me you aren’t confident in your own beliefs or opinions…
Rudeness to anyone
I agree with a lot of the comments but idk if I saw anything specific about pushy, overbearing people. I feel like as a generally very laid back person I get targeted by these personalities because they seem to think I’ll just do whatever they want, but lucky for myself I have an internal mostly buried stubbornness that usually only comes out when I feel like I’m being told how to live my life, intruded upon or being taken advantage of. Like just let people live their life man lol.
I can relate. I'm usually willing to be super accommodating in all sorts of situations, like swapping work shifts or doing people a favor here and there. I'm very "go with the flow" and will volunteer to do a task no one else wants to do, because I have a high tolerance for stuff like that so I usually don't mind. But as soon as I realize someone's taking advantage of this, they're cut out of my life. I unfortunately had to do that at work recently. The two senior members of my team were outwardly singing my praises while secretly screwing me over. We were super short-staffed at the time (hmm, wonder why) so when I suddenly switched to a different team, they ended up having to pick up the giant amount of slack I had been carrying for years. They tried to delay my switch date, but luckily my manager saw right through it and shut them down! I'm so much happier now.
Majority of the comments in this post can be summarized as being disrespectful. It's a guarantee I will distance as well as anyone that associates with that person.
Always needing to be right in every conversation
People that ask me why I'm so quiet
Overly positive and friendly…like suuuper friendly. Those people always make me suspicious
And eager to do you a favour you never asked for in the first place.
Entitlement.
When they spend too much time putting down other people. I can deal with a negative comment here and there. Sometimes I make a negative comment about someone. But when you do it too much, it’s just too much negativity. Also if someone is constantly putting down the same person over and over but never saying anything to their face, it starts to sound more like jealousy than a legitimate complaint.
People who are careless or reckless. People who act like know-it-alls. People who are bossy. People who are rude or are bullies.
Rudeness, malice, deliberately inconsiderate or manipulative behaviour, and disloyalty. Examples: 1) Cutting in line. 2) Consistently talking over others in order to dominate the conversation. 3) Being mean-spirited and gossipy. 4) Taking advantage of others for gain or amusement. 5) Misreating those with less power (employees, service staff, homeless people, animals...). 6) Being intolerant and narrow-minded. 7) Littering on purpose. 8) Infidelity.
When I smile at them and they look me dead in the eye and then continue on like I don’t exist.
poor personal hygiene; dirty nails, oily hair, body odour...
oily hair as if like, what if someone oils their hair
no no, just meant to say dirty hair
Most things, if I'm being honest. It's part of the entire reason I'm even on this sub lol. I automatically don't trust almost everyone and *really* dislike living in a society that relies so heavily on communicating with and relying on other people. People are responsible for all the worlds problems if you think about it.
- Bragging, especially about material things such as having a fancy car, big house, high paying job, etc. Similarly, when being materialistic is their whole personality (e.g., telling everyone they ONLY buy designer shoes, clothes, bags, etc and would never shop at “normal” stores like Target or TJ Maxx). - Showing no interest in getting to know others and/or acting like other peoples’ careers, hobbies or interests are below them. - Trying to be “controversial” or “edgy” aka picking fights about politics, religion, etc completely unprovoked with people they barely know. - Making racist, homophobic, or otherwise hateful “jokes” or comments to or in front of people they barely know. If that’s how you make a first impression, I’d hate to see how you act when you get comfortable.
Gossiping, bragging, and constantly complaining / being a victim.
Talking shit about another person’s appearance. I will admit I’ve done that, but only if their character was ugly too. Some adults still act like high school bullies and it’s gross. “Omg why don’t they shave their armpits ew” why do you fucking care? “They have so much acne!” Okay and? We all get acne it’s natural. Like please shut the fuck up…
Besides the typical stuff, arrogance, lack of sense of humor, etc...I've been meeting a higher number of flat earthers and antivaxxers lately....can't do it, I can't even humor them anymore, I gotta walk away
Being rude or dismissive,shit talking about their "friends" talking down to wait staff or rasing their voice at any type of person that's providing them a service, thinking they are better than others, picking on people that can't or wont defend themselves.
Exploiting people's kindness. I can forgive so much, we are selfish, hurt children doing the best we can to be the grown ups now and I get that. When I see someone take advantage of the good in another, especially to harm them. I become murderous. I don't dislike this person, I want to remove them from all of existence.
Not doing your research before getting a pet. This applies to not training dogs that are high energy, declawing cats, and not understanding a reptiles setup. If you squish bugs for fun, we aren't friends.
People who talk badly about others as soon as they leave - you know they’re doing it about you too as soon as you’re not around.
When someone who is new to a group (like a new partner of someone in the friend group) and they refuse to talk to anyone but their partner whenever everyone hangs out. Does the silent dead stare at whoever is trying to include them or ask them a question. - - - - - - - *Edit: god dammit I just realized that I’m kind of that person.* I’ve always had a hard time in new social situations, and being ugly and autistic with a RBF doesn’t help.
It’s ok, building self awareness is a skill… 🙂👌🏽
Loud people in public. Meaning they don’t have an inside voice at all. Taking calls or watching videos without headphones. Children running around disturbing others while the parents ignore it. People that stand to close in line and invade my personal space. I move away and they move closer. That is creepy annoying
Being loud, instant turnoff
I don’t care for people with main character energy. Too loud, too bossy, too showy, all eyes on me types. I just don’t get on well with those kinds of people.
Looking down on the poor and low-wage workers.
dismissing something i suggest without taking it into consideration first. basically, close minded people.
Someone who constantly complain about everyone daily/every min and when they’re called out. They don’t take accountability and bring up more gossip. I don’t mind when people complain it’s normal but if it’s something a person does all the time. I find it extremely annoying. 😅
If they speak loudly, I immediately hate their guts and their presence alone is enough to make me uncomfortable. Laughing loudly annoys me too, but it is slightly more forgiveable since they won't be laughing all the time.
People who make assumptions about me. I’m pretty shy and a handful people in my life (roommates and coworkers) have taken it very personally. I’ve been labeled as aloof or worst yet as a mean girl by these people largely because I need a few days to warm up and I look a certain way. I actually directly addressed my roommate not too long ago. She never spoke to me for an entire year but went around calling me a mean girl. I asked her why I can’t be shy but she can. It wasn’t a fruitful conversation but that’s the exact type of person I don’t like. I get along very well with people who do give me a chance to acclimate.
People who brag about not reading
Also people who brag about reading
Can't stand being talked over/interrupted. Sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Sheesh.
Lmao 🤣 I can’t stand it, but I am also very guilty of it at the same time. it’s very common for people with ADHD to interrupt during conversation because of how our brains work. And I laugh because when im having conversations w friends who also have adhd, it’s a mess, but we understand that it happens. Doesn’t stop it from being annoying though.
I hate these kinds of question threads because the top answers are always the same and completely inapplicable to real life. Considering the topic of the subreddit, people are here to learn how to be more social, and reading about how it's bad to be mean to other people or pets isn't really going to help, everybody is aware of that.
Generalizing groups of people: i.e., “all men…”Negativity and playing victim, like blaming everything on other people or situations. Lack of self awareness and accountability.
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thanks, chatgpt...
lack of or a disregard for spatial awareness. if you’re in a public space where people are milling about trying to live their lives and have absolutely no qualms about standing in the middle of a doorway, a sidewalk, an aisle, a road, a staircase, any pathway that facilitates movement, i instantly understand you to be either: willingly inconsiderate or obliviously self absorbed or a combination of both albeit we are all only human, and i will own up to my own occasional, oblivious navel gazing moments in public, but i have enough awareness to generally catch myself in those moments and take a step to the side and far from the center. when someone just stands there, like some sort of mouth breathing monolith of humanity, i will lose any assumption of basic respect i credit any stranger with upon crossing paths with them.
I think everyone does this on accident occasionally because the human brain is not capable of multitasking. But I can usually tell pretty plainly if they’re just not paying attention or they’re basically taking up space subconsciously or consciously as a way to exert their superiority lol
Anger issues, judgemental,etc
When they are too negative. You just met them and they’re already talking negatively about other people, or constantly complaining. Theyre usually the problem.
Ignorance and/or unwillingness to learn of the most basic facts. I don't expect everyone to know everything, but have an open mind! I've been called annoying because I ask questions all the time. Even at work people hate when you ask why a process is done a certain way.
Name dropping
Anyone who treats my 80 year old mom poorly. I will fight you for that.
those who treat those beneath them badly while acting polite to those above them INSTANT RED FLAG those who encrouage others to do dangerous or reckless stuff for their own fun those who make fun OF you not WITH YOU those who discourage you in an UNPRODUCTIVE way(you suck anyway why even try)
It may sound basic, but people who can't accept constructive criticism. People who are "I do what I want" and fight their ass to have *the last word* when they are pointed out. Basically, a bitch. Another one is persons in group who defend someone else despite not knowing anything of the lore behind the fighting. They sincerely deserve a wet slap.
When they are self centered, narcissistic, entitled, bullying, not open minded/progressive/forward thinking, stuff like that
When they have bully energy. I can pick up on this a mile away 😫
I love golf and meet other folks who play. The ones that immediately report their low handicap and scores, usually turn out to be douch bags. Also, rarely do they don’t have the game they say they have. I let the clubs do the talking. It’s great fun whooping up on guys 20 years younger than me. 👺
Negative energy for absolutely no reason. Ain't nobody want to be around that.
People that act like they are more morally superior than other people. Words are cheap. When they are put to the test, it’s like, “Not in my Backyard!!” Bull 💩
When someone treats a waiter or service person rudely. Immediate red flag - usually not a kind person if they behave that way.
Unkindness
People who are rude to service workers.
Judging others' appearances. Yuck!
I do not like strangers who are overly familiar. I only like to hug people I know and like, not someone I met 20 seconds ago.
Test 1: is someone a dog? Yes: I like them. No: I don't like them.
People who interrupt constantly
Saying that they hate cats. Note: this doesn't count people that say they prefer dogs. People that shit on service workers.
anything misogynstic or homophobic
-Girls pumped with botox and coated with makeup displaying mean girl behaviour. -Guys that are jacked and wear a tank top and REALLY care about their shoes and have an extremely fragile ego. -Anybody that thinks they are above anybody else, or cooler, or hotter…etc. -Girls that assume that every man has a crush on them or is checking them out. -Guys that have really sexist views on how women should behave. -Can’t get off their phone and especially if they ask you to repeat what you said because they were ignoring you for their phone. -vanity. -Just…modern society and people in general. Not a fan.
I went to a bbq at a friends the other day and there was 5 of us. One guy I hadn’t met before. He seemed to make a conscious effort to not look at or engage with me after the initial introduction. Actually didn’t even tell me his name or speak to me when I shook his hand. He seemed uncomfortable with me, all my other friends are very warm open people so to me at least he really stuck out in this context. If we continue to hang out I’m hoping he will learn his manners
Screaming, taunting, mocking body language, aggressive body language, name calling, abuse, and group manipulation and dog piling.
Uncalled for Viciousness. Turn off . Big one .
Perpetual victimhood.
Loud and disrespectful
Attitudes, actions and words that show a lack of empathy and consideration. Harsh and aggresive personalities aswell. Prickly people 🌵
The most annoying thing for me is when they criticize everyone for different actions, but if they do it, they don’t find it wrong. This pisses me off by far the most. And being dissmisive. Lack of self awareness.
Talking over people
They like to flaunt nonsensical bullshit. Like I don't give a fuck about your depreciating asset of a nice car
Lack of empathy
Probably when they kill my parents
Someone who saids something and does the opposite; people who don’t know how to clean up after themselves; someone who doesn’t know how to be open minded/ dismissive people; someone who doesn’t want to compromise; people who use you for their own good and don’t bother making a connection with you; nosey people who gossip; loud people who talk over you and just make you feel ignored; people who have a strict first impression rule and make assumptions about you…People who make me feel invisible and not important .
Talking on their cellphone whilst I am talking to them!!
Their tact.
Pretty standard things like bad social manners and bad appearance (body odour, dirty unwashed hair, wearing clothes that don't fit and everyone can see your bra/boxes or showing too much skin in a bad way). I also find that oversharing right off the bat is a turn-off.
Was talking to this girl, met her once at a party. I said I loved a certain band, she said she also loved them. I loved a certain artist, she also loved them, etc, etc. She then admitted to me a few weeks later that she lied about liking all the same things as me because she "wanted to impress me". Such a turn off :/ I hate when people lie about themselves like that and think that *I* am so shallow that I cannot fathom getting to know someone that has separate interests than me.
Inconsiderate and patronizing ppl.
Rushing others. It rubs me the wrong way when I hear someone tell someone else to hurry up.
Also people who text as hru, wassup, wsg, and cut short everything even if they're a grown goddamn adult. Really kills the desire to have a conversation.
Treat me worse because I have an Android. Yes it actually happens. And it helps me weed out some potentially shallow and problematic people.
So often I hear people gossiping to their friends about the meanest, pettiest, most hurtful shit they know about people whose faces they’d smile to. I think it’s a symptom of college. When I hear that I just think to myself “they’re not on my team” and I move on.
Absolutely refusing to see shit from a different perspective.
Not so much that I hold a deep dislike for the person, but people that don’t push in their chairs when they get up from a table? Yeah, I judge those people kinda harshly. It’s so easy and such a basic manner.
When they start bragging especially about things they didn't achieve themselves like how rich they are or the cars they own but it's all their parents' money HAHAHAHA
I'm a very genuine person and I do everything with purpose and care. If you are constantly jerking me around with the "oh I'm just kidding!" shit I will avoid you lmao
Letting a sexist or racist comment slip in front of me as a joke. I'm not going to laugh, but you'll definitely see my face change
While some of these are legitimately bad, I think it’s important to keep in mind that a good number of us are on here because we are neurodivergent and don’t just pick up on unwritten social rules. I can tell you I often speak loudly because I genuinely have difficulty with volume control. I accidentally interrupt people because I don’t catch the natural timing in conversations when it’s my turn to speak. I may seem to dominate conversations because I struggle with give and take in a discussion. I seem to often not listen actively because I have a million other thoughts pinging around in my head that I can’t control. Getting diagnosed with autism and ADHD in my 40s explained a lot of my lifelong social issues and why I often fail with “thin slice judgements.” I guess my pet peeve is having someone assume that I’m doing something they perceive as rude purposely and with harmful intent when I honestly have no idea I’m even doing the action perceived to be rude. I find it enlightening to see these conversations where people share explicitly what is usually unspoken. It is also a bit overwhelming. What seems natural to most is a lot of very challenging work for some of us and is often why I make a choice to stick to myself. Some of these comments, likely unintentionally, translate into coding neurotypical behavior as the only “good” way to interact.