I feel like this is something you should take to your DM. if it's a repeating thing, it could be considered harassment. Not saying you should stay, but at least report their asses before you bounce.
Its definitely harassment for how long its been going on.. After I came back from leave the first thing my manager said was “WOW, you move a lot faster without that big ol belly on you!” this was just the last straw at this point I guess
Seriously go talk to a lawyer. You could have a case. Starbucks kept harassing my friend about his sexuality and he won a lawsuit this past summer. So sorry this is happening to you 💕
I wouldn’t even go to my DM. That’s something I would go straight to partner resources for. Like food chain my ass if that happened to me. I wouldn’t even try and get it solved on a lower level I would go straight to corporate.
I remember losing 50 lbs and having customers saying oh you’ve lost weight. Oh you look great. Oh what have you done to lose weight.
Then I gained 80 lbs back over 2 years and I wondered if those same customers thought oh she got fat again.
I’m in active weight loss again and I’m nervous for the comments. I don’t like when people make comments regarding my body ‘good or bad’
i’ve lost 70 lbs since i last got my license and when i last went to the dispensary the woman the checked me in was looking at my license more closely than usual. then she started really looking at me and then was like Wow! You look so different! It’s in a good way. Congratulations! like oh????? okay???? what a weird thing to say?
I lost around 35 pounds a while back (and have regained some of it) and my boyfriend’s grandma kept complimenting me/making comments on it damn within the first few minutes of talking every single time she saw me. He ended up needing to ask her to stop, because I have pretty bad body issues and her comments just made me feel even more horrible about my old body. I know she meant well, but it just made me feel terrible.
I completely agree. I can have the most pregnant looking person on earth waddle up to my little kiosk and I won't say a word about it because you just don't know anything about the situation. Sure the vast majority of the time there's a happy healthy mama with a happy healthy baby but things happen. You never know if the baby has a life-threatening condition or an incompatible with life condition but the only choice is to carry to term. I've read too many cases like that to be comfortable complimenting strangers.
Sorry people are insensitive. I had people say the same thing to me post partum. Oh you look like you’re ready to drop. Meanwhile I have a 3 month old in the stroller. So I go what do you mean??? Or no I’m just fat thank you.
I'm sorry :( it sucks. My whole family shamed me for how fast all the weight left once I gave birth... Continuously asking if I'm eating and should “really take better care of myself” (although, I didn't lose the weight that fast, I've had my little pouch for a while now.) Also telling my husband the same (to take better care of me) then at work people constantly talk about how I “look pregnant” It's like I really cannot win. People just expect you to just look the same after birth but if you do it too quickly it's not okay and if it's not quick enough it's cause you must be pregnant again I just don't understand..
Unsolicited comments on one's appearance is considered sexual harassment. I would have a very frank discussion with your SM, and if that doesn't nip things in the bud, contact your DM.
you're beautiful. this might not add much, and i don't even know you or know what you look like, but you brought a human into this world with your body, and you are now working again, and even if both of those things weren't true, you'd *still* be so beautiful. i hope your problems get solved as soon as possible though. sending love! xoxo
pregnancy is technically a medical condition, and as others have mentioned repeated comments on someone’s body is considered sexual harassment, so you might wanna bring this to HR honestly. no one should be asking you this
This is 110% harassment. Call ethics and compliance. Hell, DM me your store number and I'll call for you saying I'm a partner who was passing through and I overheard and was appalled. Then you dont need to worry about any fallout. I got you sis
I'm so sorry this happened. definitely contact pcc and your union rep if you have one. I believe you can sign a card as a individual barista now even if your store isn't unionized
Absolutely take this to your store manager or district manager. This is so inappropriate and at the very least everyone who commented on your body needs a verbal coaching.
As another commenter said, even if you don't end up staying (which would be COMPLETELY valid given the situation), it is worth it to bring it up, either with DM or partner resources. It's inappropriate and I'm so sorry you're going through this - at the very least, higher ups should know so they can potentially prevent this from happening in the future to you or anyone else
Hi momma. Sending love and also this post made me really mad. Like it’s no one’s fkng business and also why does everyone think it’s okay to comment on women’s weight??? And at work???? No. You got so much on your plate on top of working no one needs to be adding to that list with unsolicited shit like that. Anyways …. Sorry if that was negative but I’m glad your friend was there to set them straight. Also - are you apart of r/beyondthebump ? I feel like that would be a good place to share your story as well cuz I know a lot of mommas would resonate with this and be there for you
Just NO! I asked a partner this once who I am buddies with, but I immediately apologized for saying it where others could've heard. No-one (partner or otherwise) is permitted to fat-shame without consequence! If you get the partner survey put that partner on blast and call Ethics!
This may not be a method you are emotionally in a place to use, but when a coworker was pregnant at my old location we had a particularly tone deaf customer that would ask every girl there that had any belly at all when they were due, I think. It's been a long time and I don't remember exactly what she said. When she asked me I replied "no I'm just fat" and she stopped asking *anyone.* In my opinion, if you are rude enough to ask such a thing, you deserve the answer you get. If you push back on these questions, they'll stop asking. I'd say they will realize they are being rude, but the honest answer is, they won't. They'll just decide you are being rude to them for no reason. But personally I think if they stop, I honestly don't care if they think I was rude getting them to stop.
I'm sorry, that's gotta be hard hearing it over and over. i'm glad you have someone sticking up for you. I have three kids with an eight year age gap between the middle kid and the last. I've been asked the same thing a few times over the years and I take it with a sense of humor but it's not my favorite thing to be reminded of how lumpy I still am 😂😂 but it also means that they think I'm young enough to have another baby which is a nice compliment 😉.
This is so crazy to me, I’m a bartender not a barista but I bartended till I was 8 months pregnant and no one ever asked me if I was pregnant or commented on my body at all even after I would tell them I’m expecting.
Completely unrelated and not that you need to, but after birth I started wearing a back brace I bought on Amazon that was kind of like a waist trainer with back support and it really helped hold everything in and tighten/tone my core muscles as well as support my lower back while working on my feet all night just thought I’d throw in something that helped me when I went back to work right away to another working mama!
Oh man. I’m so sorry. I hate people who are rude like this.
First, congratulations on your baby girl! Please don’t let these nosy, nasty people make you feel bad about yourself. It took nine months for you to grow that little one of yours. It is said that at the least, it takes that long for your body to get back into shape. I love that you are at a healthier weight! That is a big deal. The belly you have? Think about how far your skin, etc had to stretch to make room for another person inside you. Not all of us have super genes, time to workout, money for a trainer, time or money for dieting, OR are bothered by something that sounds like you are proud of. And you should be.
Unfortunately I’ve been in your shoes. If you can do it, I would start looking at whomever is asking and ask if they realize how incredibly rude it is to ask that question? Why do they feel it is something they should know? Let them know they need to stop. Document it all & if it happens again, keep track of every person, date, and time. I’d throw in an “are you pregnant?” when asked. Every. Single. Time. Hopefully they will start to feel uncomfortable and knock the bullshit off!
Fellow post partum partner here, had multiple occasions of regulars at my work making gross comments about my post partum body & asking when I’m going to bounce back etc. & going home crying or with panic attacks & my shift leads/managers not caring…I had an almost 11lbs baby, I went from 200lbs at due date to now 153lbs in only 4 months 🤡 Some people have severe issues with women & expectations as to what you should look like that they project on you & that doesn’t mean your body is bad as a mom or anything take pride, they are the problem. Take this to partner resources & get out of that environment, best of luck, take care of yourself. 🩷
bruh I'm sick and fucking tired of society's fucking obsession with "bouncing back" after a baby.
1, your body is changed irreparably. forever. good or bad, you'll never have "pre-baby" body back (even if you go to the same weight or less) because guess what, you've had a fucking baby! so it'll always be a post-baby body! and that's not a bad thing! even if you were fat (which you're not) its okay to be so.
2, you said you're at a healthy weight now. so anyway who the fuck cares wtf anyone thinks? fuck them, they suck. definitely start making a paper trail of all these things that have been said, contact your dm, call the ethics line, don't stop. they're harassing you and being inappropriate. comments about someone's body is Not ok and it seems like some were even said with harmful intent which is especially not ok.
I'm also super fucking sick of society's obsession with other people's weights and bodies anyway. GET OVER IT. why TF does someone else's body have to concern you at all??? who cares if they're pregnant or not pregnant or fat or underweight or ANYTHING? who cares!!! shut the fuck up!!!!! all the things you could be doing with your time and energy and y'all choose to *checks notes* care about how someone else looks ????? what's it to you?? I don't get it! stfu!
(fatphobia is rooted in racism anyway so I REALLY do not give a fuck about society's obsession with weight and I really wish I could stop others from caring too)
op, I bet you look fucking fantastic tbh. but what's more important is how do you feel? do you get enough bonding time or playing time with your baby? are you safe at home? do you get enough nutrition? enough water? enough sleep, exercise, stretching? focus on caring for yourself and your kid, focus on feeling good, healthy, strong. physical attributes come and go but your mental and emotional state is more important than you know.
don't mind your coworkers talk. keep reporting them for being inappropriate. transfer stores if you want to and can. but don't give them any mind to what their dumb asses are saying.
idk if you journal but if you do you could try adding something small you're grateful for your body doing for you each day. even just the normal processes that the body is supposed to do, we sometimes might take for granted but sometimes bad health can affect those systems, so thanking your body for them still working might help you view your body in a different way and care less about its weight.
(idk if I'm explaining that well but it's something I did as part of eating disorder recovery as recovery settled me into a much larger body, which I now love, so while it's not the same problem you're having I think it might help. if you want specific examples let me know 🖤)
sorry for going off but people piss me TF off and I hope you know you're perfect just the way you are!! report those nasty coworkers
When you were pregnant if you talked about being pregnant 24/7 people probably associate you with being pregnant and so that's why they mention it is because you = talking about pregnancy and babies. Idk.
However that's still not ok. People should not be commenting on bodies at work especially not assuming someone's pregnant. What matters is your level of comfort with your body.
I could understand that.. But I also didn't really talk about it. Unless asked, I just didn't really bring it up. I document really feel like everyone wanted to hear about it so I don't talk about it.
people deserve to work jobs where their bodies aren’t constantly being chastised by coworkers and managers. that’s like basic human decency i’m afraid. we deal with enough shit from customers, you don’t need to deal with shit from your team too. it’s completely inappropriate
it's impolite to publicly assume someone's pregnant unless they tell you directly or the baby is actively coming out. especially in a post-roe world. that goes for any job
Absolutely, however the mental jump to give up and throw the towel in over someone being rude simply doesn't align with fortitude required to do ANY service industry job. I recommend they try advocating for themselves with management instead of jumping to "I give up"
this isn’t just rude customers. this is an uncomfortable and hostile work environment, and if someone doesn’t want to subject themselves to that, that’s understandable
Girlie pop it is SO inappropriate to ask ANYONE if they are pregnant or assume that, let alone announce it on the floor in front of partners. What if she had just miscarried, or she had endometriosis and her stomach was bloated/distended because of that? It is never appropriate to ask those questions, that is private medical information. I could only imagine how hurtful it is to be asked if you are pregnant when you are several months post partum. ESPECIALLY as women are constantly dogged for their weight and so much of our self-worth *feels* tied to our weight and physical features. Take your judgement and callous attitude and SHOVE IT.
"If you're threatening to quit over people sexually harassing you with comments about your body, because of a protected medical condition, I honestly don't think this job is for you."
Fixed that for ya. Get bent.
I feel like this is something you should take to your DM. if it's a repeating thing, it could be considered harassment. Not saying you should stay, but at least report their asses before you bounce.
Its definitely harassment for how long its been going on.. After I came back from leave the first thing my manager said was “WOW, you move a lot faster without that big ol belly on you!” this was just the last straw at this point I guess
Seriously go talk to a lawyer. You could have a case. Starbucks kept harassing my friend about his sexuality and he won a lawsuit this past summer. So sorry this is happening to you 💕
Bonus points if you contact the lawyer through Starbucks' EAP for a free legal consult.
That's so gross, I'm sorry this is happening to you 💜
I wouldn’t even go to my DM. That’s something I would go straight to partner resources for. Like food chain my ass if that happened to me. I wouldn’t even try and get it solved on a lower level I would go straight to corporate.
This is so unacceptable to even talk about ppls bodies. Smfh.
I remember losing 50 lbs and having customers saying oh you’ve lost weight. Oh you look great. Oh what have you done to lose weight. Then I gained 80 lbs back over 2 years and I wondered if those same customers thought oh she got fat again. I’m in active weight loss again and I’m nervous for the comments. I don’t like when people make comments regarding my body ‘good or bad’
It's weird, people commenting on your body. Good or bad. It's just unnecessary.
i’ve lost 70 lbs since i last got my license and when i last went to the dispensary the woman the checked me in was looking at my license more closely than usual. then she started really looking at me and then was like Wow! You look so different! It’s in a good way. Congratulations! like oh????? okay???? what a weird thing to say?
I lost around 35 pounds a while back (and have regained some of it) and my boyfriend’s grandma kept complimenting me/making comments on it damn within the first few minutes of talking every single time she saw me. He ended up needing to ask her to stop, because I have pretty bad body issues and her comments just made me feel even more horrible about my old body. I know she meant well, but it just made me feel terrible.
Yikes I wouldn’t ask a person if they’re pregnant unless the person says something. I’ve had that happen to partners with custies asking them.
I completely agree. I can have the most pregnant looking person on earth waddle up to my little kiosk and I won't say a word about it because you just don't know anything about the situation. Sure the vast majority of the time there's a happy healthy mama with a happy healthy baby but things happen. You never know if the baby has a life-threatening condition or an incompatible with life condition but the only choice is to carry to term. I've read too many cases like that to be comfortable complimenting strangers.
Sorry people are insensitive. I had people say the same thing to me post partum. Oh you look like you’re ready to drop. Meanwhile I have a 3 month old in the stroller. So I go what do you mean??? Or no I’m just fat thank you.
I'm sorry :( it sucks. My whole family shamed me for how fast all the weight left once I gave birth... Continuously asking if I'm eating and should “really take better care of myself” (although, I didn't lose the weight that fast, I've had my little pouch for a while now.) Also telling my husband the same (to take better care of me) then at work people constantly talk about how I “look pregnant” It's like I really cannot win. People just expect you to just look the same after birth but if you do it too quickly it's not okay and if it's not quick enough it's cause you must be pregnant again I just don't understand..
Yeah this is workplace harassment 100%. Straight to hr
Don't quit! Go above their head please.
Unsolicited comments on one's appearance is considered sexual harassment. I would have a very frank discussion with your SM, and if that doesn't nip things in the bud, contact your DM.
you're beautiful. this might not add much, and i don't even know you or know what you look like, but you brought a human into this world with your body, and you are now working again, and even if both of those things weren't true, you'd *still* be so beautiful. i hope your problems get solved as soon as possible though. sending love! xoxo
pregnancy is technically a medical condition, and as others have mentioned repeated comments on someone’s body is considered sexual harassment, so you might wanna bring this to HR honestly. no one should be asking you this
This is 110% harassment. Call ethics and compliance. Hell, DM me your store number and I'll call for you saying I'm a partner who was passing through and I overheard and was appalled. Then you dont need to worry about any fallout. I got you sis
I'm so sorry this happened. definitely contact pcc and your union rep if you have one. I believe you can sign a card as a individual barista now even if your store isn't unionized
What do you mean?
pcc is the hr for baristas, at least if you're American. 18887289411
Thank you🫶🏻
Absolutely take this to your store manager or district manager. This is so inappropriate and at the very least everyone who commented on your body needs a verbal coaching.
My store managers and coworkers are the ones saying/asking it or I would.. I could take it to DM I'm just not sure how worth it it would be
As another commenter said, even if you don't end up staying (which would be COMPLETELY valid given the situation), it is worth it to bring it up, either with DM or partner resources. It's inappropriate and I'm so sorry you're going through this - at the very least, higher ups should know so they can potentially prevent this from happening in the future to you or anyone else
Nasty behavior i would go for the jugular on everyone in that room.
Hi momma. Sending love and also this post made me really mad. Like it’s no one’s fkng business and also why does everyone think it’s okay to comment on women’s weight??? And at work???? No. You got so much on your plate on top of working no one needs to be adding to that list with unsolicited shit like that. Anyways …. Sorry if that was negative but I’m glad your friend was there to set them straight. Also - are you apart of r/beyondthebump ? I feel like that would be a good place to share your story as well cuz I know a lot of mommas would resonate with this and be there for you
Just NO! I asked a partner this once who I am buddies with, but I immediately apologized for saying it where others could've heard. No-one (partner or otherwise) is permitted to fat-shame without consequence! If you get the partner survey put that partner on blast and call Ethics!
This may not be a method you are emotionally in a place to use, but when a coworker was pregnant at my old location we had a particularly tone deaf customer that would ask every girl there that had any belly at all when they were due, I think. It's been a long time and I don't remember exactly what she said. When she asked me I replied "no I'm just fat" and she stopped asking *anyone.* In my opinion, if you are rude enough to ask such a thing, you deserve the answer you get. If you push back on these questions, they'll stop asking. I'd say they will realize they are being rude, but the honest answer is, they won't. They'll just decide you are being rude to them for no reason. But personally I think if they stop, I honestly don't care if they think I was rude getting them to stop.
I'm sorry, that's gotta be hard hearing it over and over. i'm glad you have someone sticking up for you. I have three kids with an eight year age gap between the middle kid and the last. I've been asked the same thing a few times over the years and I take it with a sense of humor but it's not my favorite thing to be reminded of how lumpy I still am 😂😂 but it also means that they think I'm young enough to have another baby which is a nice compliment 😉.
This is so crazy to me, I’m a bartender not a barista but I bartended till I was 8 months pregnant and no one ever asked me if I was pregnant or commented on my body at all even after I would tell them I’m expecting. Completely unrelated and not that you need to, but after birth I started wearing a back brace I bought on Amazon that was kind of like a waist trainer with back support and it really helped hold everything in and tighten/tone my core muscles as well as support my lower back while working on my feet all night just thought I’d throw in something that helped me when I went back to work right away to another working mama!
Bullying
That’s super inappropriate. Go to partner resources.
Oh man. I’m so sorry. I hate people who are rude like this. First, congratulations on your baby girl! Please don’t let these nosy, nasty people make you feel bad about yourself. It took nine months for you to grow that little one of yours. It is said that at the least, it takes that long for your body to get back into shape. I love that you are at a healthier weight! That is a big deal. The belly you have? Think about how far your skin, etc had to stretch to make room for another person inside you. Not all of us have super genes, time to workout, money for a trainer, time or money for dieting, OR are bothered by something that sounds like you are proud of. And you should be. Unfortunately I’ve been in your shoes. If you can do it, I would start looking at whomever is asking and ask if they realize how incredibly rude it is to ask that question? Why do they feel it is something they should know? Let them know they need to stop. Document it all & if it happens again, keep track of every person, date, and time. I’d throw in an “are you pregnant?” when asked. Every. Single. Time. Hopefully they will start to feel uncomfortable and knock the bullshit off!
Fellow post partum partner here, had multiple occasions of regulars at my work making gross comments about my post partum body & asking when I’m going to bounce back etc. & going home crying or with panic attacks & my shift leads/managers not caring…I had an almost 11lbs baby, I went from 200lbs at due date to now 153lbs in only 4 months 🤡 Some people have severe issues with women & expectations as to what you should look like that they project on you & that doesn’t mean your body is bad as a mom or anything take pride, they are the problem. Take this to partner resources & get out of that environment, best of luck, take care of yourself. 🩷
same thing has happened to me. it’s actually disgusting that people ask this because if i was then i would probably say so ??
>and they suggested I might be pregnant and should just check to be sure. That sounds like gaslighting
people are so rude wtf. never comment on ANYONES body. i thought that was common sense. i’m so sorry you’re going through this :(
bruh I'm sick and fucking tired of society's fucking obsession with "bouncing back" after a baby. 1, your body is changed irreparably. forever. good or bad, you'll never have "pre-baby" body back (even if you go to the same weight or less) because guess what, you've had a fucking baby! so it'll always be a post-baby body! and that's not a bad thing! even if you were fat (which you're not) its okay to be so. 2, you said you're at a healthy weight now. so anyway who the fuck cares wtf anyone thinks? fuck them, they suck. definitely start making a paper trail of all these things that have been said, contact your dm, call the ethics line, don't stop. they're harassing you and being inappropriate. comments about someone's body is Not ok and it seems like some were even said with harmful intent which is especially not ok. I'm also super fucking sick of society's obsession with other people's weights and bodies anyway. GET OVER IT. why TF does someone else's body have to concern you at all??? who cares if they're pregnant or not pregnant or fat or underweight or ANYTHING? who cares!!! shut the fuck up!!!!! all the things you could be doing with your time and energy and y'all choose to *checks notes* care about how someone else looks ????? what's it to you?? I don't get it! stfu! (fatphobia is rooted in racism anyway so I REALLY do not give a fuck about society's obsession with weight and I really wish I could stop others from caring too) op, I bet you look fucking fantastic tbh. but what's more important is how do you feel? do you get enough bonding time or playing time with your baby? are you safe at home? do you get enough nutrition? enough water? enough sleep, exercise, stretching? focus on caring for yourself and your kid, focus on feeling good, healthy, strong. physical attributes come and go but your mental and emotional state is more important than you know. don't mind your coworkers talk. keep reporting them for being inappropriate. transfer stores if you want to and can. but don't give them any mind to what their dumb asses are saying. idk if you journal but if you do you could try adding something small you're grateful for your body doing for you each day. even just the normal processes that the body is supposed to do, we sometimes might take for granted but sometimes bad health can affect those systems, so thanking your body for them still working might help you view your body in a different way and care less about its weight. (idk if I'm explaining that well but it's something I did as part of eating disorder recovery as recovery settled me into a much larger body, which I now love, so while it's not the same problem you're having I think it might help. if you want specific examples let me know 🖤) sorry for going off but people piss me TF off and I hope you know you're perfect just the way you are!! report those nasty coworkers
When you were pregnant if you talked about being pregnant 24/7 people probably associate you with being pregnant and so that's why they mention it is because you = talking about pregnancy and babies. Idk. However that's still not ok. People should not be commenting on bodies at work especially not assuming someone's pregnant. What matters is your level of comfort with your body.
Didn't
I could understand that.. But I also didn't really talk about it. Unless asked, I just didn't really bring it up. I document really feel like everyone wanted to hear about it so I don't talk about it.
[удалено]
people deserve to work jobs where their bodies aren’t constantly being chastised by coworkers and managers. that’s like basic human decency i’m afraid. we deal with enough shit from customers, you don’t need to deal with shit from your team too. it’s completely inappropriate
What a crazy point of view.
it's impolite to publicly assume someone's pregnant unless they tell you directly or the baby is actively coming out. especially in a post-roe world. that goes for any job
Absolutely, however the mental jump to give up and throw the towel in over someone being rude simply doesn't align with fortitude required to do ANY service industry job. I recommend they try advocating for themselves with management instead of jumping to "I give up"
this isn’t just rude customers. this is an uncomfortable and hostile work environment, and if someone doesn’t want to subject themselves to that, that’s understandable
Girlie pop it is SO inappropriate to ask ANYONE if they are pregnant or assume that, let alone announce it on the floor in front of partners. What if she had just miscarried, or she had endometriosis and her stomach was bloated/distended because of that? It is never appropriate to ask those questions, that is private medical information. I could only imagine how hurtful it is to be asked if you are pregnant when you are several months post partum. ESPECIALLY as women are constantly dogged for their weight and so much of our self-worth *feels* tied to our weight and physical features. Take your judgement and callous attitude and SHOVE IT.
Say it louder for the ppl in the back 👏👏
The fuck is wrong with you? Yikes.
"If you're threatening to quit over people sexually harassing you with comments about your body, because of a protected medical condition, I honestly don't think this job is for you." Fixed that for ya. Get bent.