Good for you, my man! As someone who has gone through something very similar, I'd say you did the right thing trusting your gut. Losing out on a resource who "might" be a good fit is better than being sorry later.
Enough red flags, good for you
Personally I wouldn’t consider someone from the investment community as a cofounder; running a business is VERY different from being an investor. It’s creativity and drive vs strong analytical skills and a sense for people
I've learned to pay close attention when someone says "I'm not the kind of person to do XYZ"
They're usually saying the quiet part out loud, and you should listen
There are some very unethical people that show up when money is on the line - good on you for calling out someone that positioned themselves as trying to help you, and that you respected. Not always easy but sounds like you made the right move.
You've done the right thing. I myself have been going through something similar, unfortunately for me I didn't notice until it was too late in regard to the power dynamic. I've learnt a valuable lesson from it all tho.
"if in doubt, there is no doubt"
If you pickup on a hunch, there is an entire iceberg below that you haven't seen yet.
Cofounder relationships have their own difficulties even when things are all roses and rainbows. If there is something you don't like about a person early, there will be 100x more later.
smart move. if its trouble now would have been a nightmare.
in my experience, co anything doesnt tend to work. hire the ppl you need, and maybe create a board of advisors to help. lotta good talent around.
Fair play to you for walking away.
My personal belief is that most businesses don’t need a cofounder and I’ll die on this hill. I’m even more convinced that starting a business with a stranger is a worse idea than starting solo.
VC’s hate this notion but if you have customers you can probably carry it yourself. Maybe figure out if you can hire someone instead.
I had a similar mindset. I would love to hire someone instead. Problem is I’m still bootstrapped and I just can’t afford it any more, & I need to fundraise. But no investor will touch it if I’m a solo founder, so it’s a bit of a catch-22.
I think if you had a really strong second in command they’d look past it, as long as a solid succession plan was in place.
As much as it sucks, raising money is bloody hard at the moment and if I were you I’d do whatever I could to delay raising capital. Focus on revenue and get your hire if possible by any means.
There's always venture debt from someone like SVB (Silicon Valley Bank)? Like a loan with interest that may convert to shares eventually. Sometimes all you need is to show reoccurring customers, ability to regularly collect payments, and a business plan on how you're going to spend their loan and generate a return on it. Might be worth while having the talk with someone like them to see if the money can expedite your growth.
Well, what exactly you want your co founder or hired person be doing? Regardless of hire or partnership, i would be interested and ready to carry the project with you if it aligns my interests too cz i know your feeling, i am struggling currently same as you.
As for what can i put on the table, i have interests in building a product from features, ideas, monetizing ideas, and other related product management skills, plus work on attracting an investor (cz i am too working in this point for my project), and any other task helping you with it.
Would be interested to get in touch and i will leave you a dm in case you decided to get in contact, Best of Luck 🤞
Great move!!! I barely survived bringing on a way more experienced cofounder with all the connections blah blah blah but it turned into a nightmare. Luckily I was able to get him out and then was able to get acquired. Anyway, good for you. Find someone young and hungry who is still able to grind and doesn’t think they know it all.
For guys like your almost-cofounder, bring them on as advisors only for a couple points and some sort of bonus kicker if they bring in large accounts. But do not give them keys to the castle. Great move!
Follow up with your desire to sever the relationship in writing and remind him of the NDA and be as cordial as you can cuz you don't want him to be retaliatory but you need to document in case something does go in the wrong direction with this guy.
A year ago, I was in a similar position when I partnered with a work colleague on a new startup. The concept was mine, along with the funding and backing, while he brought significant ops and experience.
We had previously collaborated successfully on an IPO, so I was optimistic about our partnership. However, as we began laying the groundwork for the startup, the age gap and shifting dynamics proved challenging. After a disagreement one day, he dismissed my contributions by asserting his greater experience and urged me to trust him - but his tone and demeanour was extremely negative and brash.
That week, I decided it was best for us to part ways. Debates and disagreements are part of any venture, but I didn’t want to start a new business with someone who undermined me from the outset. Looking back, it was probably the best decision I made early on. I wouldn’t have been able to make the decisions I made without always having to defend my own thoughts. I’ve made mistakes since, but I own those mistakes.
Oh and PS whether you were right or whether you're wrong it's I've always found it's better to follow your gut if you don't follow your gut you're almost certain to get screwed. At least that's my experience.
You made the right decision. We have a saying in legal that "if something seems too good to be true, you're not seeing the full picture." I think that applies to seeking cofounders too. Sometimes your gut feeling will pick up something your rational mind hasn't. For example, in my day job, I've seen many folks who ignore their nagging doubts end up regretting it. Even something as innocuous as a person being reluctant to refer to company assets as "ours" (instead of mine) can escalate to IP infringement, trade secrets misappropriation, customer appropriation, or even absconding with corporate funds. The fellow you described seems more interested in your progress than working with you, which is not a good sign. Your co-founder should prioritize working well with you.
How long did you date for before the contractuals were drawn. Sceptics will say you did right. But it feels too soon to know, so all you have to go on is your gut's vague tingly feelings.
That’s the point though. It’s too soon to know, and he wanted ink on paper asap. Plus I would personally default to my gut feeling anyway, regardless of what others think about that.
I am in the process of drafting some working arrangements, and figuring out an equity structure that is fair. I was wondering if you would be willing to share some of what you have used.
hey plz check this out to solve technical co-founder issues : [https://co-founder-20436.bubbleapps.io/version-test/ai\_landing\_page\_1](https://co-founder-20436.bubbleapps.io/version-test/ai_landing_page_1)
That’s the problem with partnering with someone we don’t know. But what to do? Really! Because all who i know aren’t interested in a business plus my business idea is targeting the UK market while i am not located in UK.
I partnered with someone who is felt he’s good and reliable and he is really but his problem is, let’s say i contact him now he replies after 4 or 5 days or after a week later!
So really idk what to do as i want to move forward with my project cz I have an interest in.
I hope all goes well for me, you and all of us!
Trusting your gut was the right move. A cofounder relationship should be based on mutual respect and trust, not power imbalances and control. It's better to be cautious now than regretful later. You likely saved yourself from potential issues down the line. Keep pushing forward—another great partner will come along!
Echoing what a lot of people here are saying, go with your gut and don't regret the decision. I recently learned about an acquaintance who had nearly an identical situation: he started the business, was making money, an older & "connected/experienced" person offered to come in as a cofounder (and add some money too).
However, he decided to partner up. Long story short, cofounder convinced the original founder to completely change what they were working on, burnt a ton of money, and they ended up shutting down the business.
As someone with 35+ years of software development experience (yes, I'm old... carbon datable old), I will say that you made the right choice. Your potential co-founders was insecure at the very least, and more than likely incompetent as a function of being promoted to the point of incompetence (ala the "Peter principle"). The need to name drop and talk down to alleged "less thans" comes from a position of weakness, not strength.
Your fear is speaking. The opposite effect is powerful. You’re likely too young to understand. I could be cynical and say he wanted to steal your ideas. But the reality is it’s a good mix. Just seems like you’re timid. My right hand man was 10 years older than me and most of my crew was 10 years older than me. The people I took a chance on to groom for success and give them an opportunity were 10 years younger than me. My company structure ranged from 21 years old to 50 years old. With me in the middle at about 35 years old.
Let me ask you something. Is everyone in your organization going to be the same age that you are?
Who can say, we only know one side of the story. And then kind of, it’s a version of events.
I just meet a lot of younger people on here who only feel comfortable starting a business with people in their early 20s, which is typically going be a horrible idea for business. Not always, but usually.
My first business I was seeking to bring in someone in their 50s for weekly meetings to motivate the sales team, he was a banker and naval captain that was a family friend. My two 20 year-old partners insisted that it’s only us and of course two of them ended up embezzling cash.
They lost their tiny minds when $10,000 came through the door. in my mind, that was a starting point for weekly cash flow. I think everyone can do better than a 20-year-old CFO.
Everyone went on to own businesses of their own. Some multiple businesses. One of them is dead and the other is on their second round of felonies 10 years ago, and back then when I read the report from a regulatory agency. It indicated he had committed a series of seven felonies in one sitting. This was after being on house arrest for at least a year or more on a tether.
Your mileage may vary.
In my eyes, when you pick your CFO… Go for someone who is a CPA with 4+ years experience in the field. Not somebody who’s counting their college education towards any of those years either. Someone who is actively in the workforce as a certified public accountant.
If you’re worried about the IP going out the door, then execute fast. I shared my IP with a possible partner recently and within 24 hours of sharing that IP I had it registered with the state as a liability company. Within two weeks I had a service mark registered with the state and it’s in process. Mind you my company is approximately a little over two weeks old. I also own the domain name and had it forwarded to web hosting regardless of how the website looks it’s live.
There are bank accounts, one conventional and two Fintech. There are two credit card processors for the company. I capitalize the company and place my initial order for supplies. There are contracts and receipts and all of this took place in less than three weeks. And that is the advantage of working with an older man or woman. I already have a top-tier attorney representing me as my entertainment attorney. And I have a two partner accounting firm representing me as my accountants, or at least giving me a test to see how my business is going to go so that they can become my accounting firm at the beginning of September. That’s because I need to have my accounting work done before 15 September.
I meant to reply to OP with this, and I’m likely not going to move it. He can see it if he wants.
Well I’m not a ‘he’ I’m a woman, I’m in my thirties at the top of my field, and the cofounder I was considering had a long list of successes and huge wins that made me skeptical about why he’d want to cofound an early stage startup. It’s not about age, I simply mentioned that the age difference and his need for control were other factors that hindered our power dynamic. Maybe he would have been a great advisor had I trusted him, but not someone who’s going to be my cofounder.
Gut feeling is all it takes... good for you for being decisive!
Seriously this dude sounds terrible
Which one?
Good for you, my man! As someone who has gone through something very similar, I'd say you did the right thing trusting your gut. Losing out on a resource who "might" be a good fit is better than being sorry later.
Enough red flags, good for you Personally I wouldn’t consider someone from the investment community as a cofounder; running a business is VERY different from being an investor. It’s creativity and drive vs strong analytical skills and a sense for people
If he said he will take your ip to a competitor then you really dodged a bullet.
Yep... That's some serious red flags... wow did OP dodge a bullet.
I've learned to pay close attention when someone says "I'm not the kind of person to do XYZ" They're usually saying the quiet part out loud, and you should listen
OP sounds nervous. Maybe he was trying to put his fears at ease.
Lmao, that is actually a great rule of thumb especially for relationships. “Im not the type of guy/gal to…” yeah right
Founders should be maniacally focused on customer results. Sounds like he was more concerned with ownership and control. Your gut did you right.
There are some very unethical people that show up when money is on the line - good on you for calling out someone that positioned themselves as trying to help you, and that you respected. Not always easy but sounds like you made the right move.
You've done the right thing. I myself have been going through something similar, unfortunately for me I didn't notice until it was too late in regard to the power dynamic. I've learnt a valuable lesson from it all tho.
"if in doubt, there is no doubt" If you pickup on a hunch, there is an entire iceberg below that you haven't seen yet. Cofounder relationships have their own difficulties even when things are all roses and rainbows. If there is something you don't like about a person early, there will be 100x more later.
smart move. if its trouble now would have been a nightmare. in my experience, co anything doesnt tend to work. hire the ppl you need, and maybe create a board of advisors to help. lotta good talent around.
Fair play to you for walking away. My personal belief is that most businesses don’t need a cofounder and I’ll die on this hill. I’m even more convinced that starting a business with a stranger is a worse idea than starting solo. VC’s hate this notion but if you have customers you can probably carry it yourself. Maybe figure out if you can hire someone instead.
I had a similar mindset. I would love to hire someone instead. Problem is I’m still bootstrapped and I just can’t afford it any more, & I need to fundraise. But no investor will touch it if I’m a solo founder, so it’s a bit of a catch-22.
I think if you had a really strong second in command they’d look past it, as long as a solid succession plan was in place. As much as it sucks, raising money is bloody hard at the moment and if I were you I’d do whatever I could to delay raising capital. Focus on revenue and get your hire if possible by any means.
Solo bootstrapped founder here (5 years in) and I would recommend if you can get one, get one. You can go further together. I got way burned out
There's always venture debt from someone like SVB (Silicon Valley Bank)? Like a loan with interest that may convert to shares eventually. Sometimes all you need is to show reoccurring customers, ability to regularly collect payments, and a business plan on how you're going to spend their loan and generate a return on it. Might be worth while having the talk with someone like them to see if the money can expedite your growth.
Well, what exactly you want your co founder or hired person be doing? Regardless of hire or partnership, i would be interested and ready to carry the project with you if it aligns my interests too cz i know your feeling, i am struggling currently same as you. As for what can i put on the table, i have interests in building a product from features, ideas, monetizing ideas, and other related product management skills, plus work on attracting an investor (cz i am too working in this point for my project), and any other task helping you with it. Would be interested to get in touch and i will leave you a dm in case you decided to get in contact, Best of Luck 🤞
Great move!!! I barely survived bringing on a way more experienced cofounder with all the connections blah blah blah but it turned into a nightmare. Luckily I was able to get him out and then was able to get acquired. Anyway, good for you. Find someone young and hungry who is still able to grind and doesn’t think they know it all. For guys like your almost-cofounder, bring them on as advisors only for a couple points and some sort of bonus kicker if they bring in large accounts. But do not give them keys to the castle. Great move!
Follow up with your desire to sever the relationship in writing and remind him of the NDA and be as cordial as you can cuz you don't want him to be retaliatory but you need to document in case something does go in the wrong direction with this guy.
Good decision. If you need a little advice or expertise, get contractors or advisors. (If you need a little Product Management help, ping me.)
Good grief… this was the honeymoon period and if he couldn’t act right then, it was only going to get worse. Good for you for trusting your instincts.
A year ago, I was in a similar position when I partnered with a work colleague on a new startup. The concept was mine, along with the funding and backing, while he brought significant ops and experience. We had previously collaborated successfully on an IPO, so I was optimistic about our partnership. However, as we began laying the groundwork for the startup, the age gap and shifting dynamics proved challenging. After a disagreement one day, he dismissed my contributions by asserting his greater experience and urged me to trust him - but his tone and demeanour was extremely negative and brash. That week, I decided it was best for us to part ways. Debates and disagreements are part of any venture, but I didn’t want to start a new business with someone who undermined me from the outset. Looking back, it was probably the best decision I made early on. I wouldn’t have been able to make the decisions I made without always having to defend my own thoughts. I’ve made mistakes since, but I own those mistakes.
I had a bad cofounder once. You dogged a bullet.
Oh and PS whether you were right or whether you're wrong it's I've always found it's better to follow your gut if you don't follow your gut you're almost certain to get screwed. At least that's my experience.
Dude was waving massive red flags, good for you having survival instincts.
I'm glad you got him to sign an NDA
Way to go! That was great instinct. You did the right thing for sure!
You made the right decision. We have a saying in legal that "if something seems too good to be true, you're not seeing the full picture." I think that applies to seeking cofounders too. Sometimes your gut feeling will pick up something your rational mind hasn't. For example, in my day job, I've seen many folks who ignore their nagging doubts end up regretting it. Even something as innocuous as a person being reluctant to refer to company assets as "ours" (instead of mine) can escalate to IP infringement, trade secrets misappropriation, customer appropriation, or even absconding with corporate funds. The fellow you described seems more interested in your progress than working with you, which is not a good sign. Your co-founder should prioritize working well with you.
This was a good call
I made the same play two weeks ago
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Congratulations!
Reading stories like this stresses me out so much, honestly.
How long did you date for before the contractuals were drawn. Sceptics will say you did right. But it feels too soon to know, so all you have to go on is your gut's vague tingly feelings.
That’s the point though. It’s too soon to know, and he wanted ink on paper asap. Plus I would personally default to my gut feeling anyway, regardless of what others think about that.
In the absence of experience, it's all you've got, hey? Him being impatient to put pen to paper is a red flag, so fair dos.
I am in the process of drafting some working arrangements, and figuring out an equity structure that is fair. I was wondering if you would be willing to share some of what you have used.
finding cofounder is super hard.. but if you don't have the gut feeling .. don't do it..
hey plz check this out to solve technical co-founder issues : [https://co-founder-20436.bubbleapps.io/version-test/ai\_landing\_page\_1](https://co-founder-20436.bubbleapps.io/version-test/ai_landing_page_1)
You'll never regret this decision
That’s the problem with partnering with someone we don’t know. But what to do? Really! Because all who i know aren’t interested in a business plus my business idea is targeting the UK market while i am not located in UK. I partnered with someone who is felt he’s good and reliable and he is really but his problem is, let’s say i contact him now he replies after 4 or 5 days or after a week later! So really idk what to do as i want to move forward with my project cz I have an interest in. I hope all goes well for me, you and all of us!
Sounds like you've got the wisdom of a seasoned startup sage! Trusting your gut is sometimes the best business sense there is.
Trusting your gut was the right move. A cofounder relationship should be based on mutual respect and trust, not power imbalances and control. It's better to be cautious now than regretful later. You likely saved yourself from potential issues down the line. Keep pushing forward—another great partner will come along!
Echoing what a lot of people here are saying, go with your gut and don't regret the decision. I recently learned about an acquaintance who had nearly an identical situation: he started the business, was making money, an older & "connected/experienced" person offered to come in as a cofounder (and add some money too). However, he decided to partner up. Long story short, cofounder convinced the original founder to completely change what they were working on, burnt a ton of money, and they ended up shutting down the business.
As someone with 35+ years of software development experience (yes, I'm old... carbon datable old), I will say that you made the right choice. Your potential co-founders was insecure at the very least, and more than likely incompetent as a function of being promoted to the point of incompetence (ala the "Peter principle"). The need to name drop and talk down to alleged "less thans" comes from a position of weakness, not strength.
Your fear is speaking. The opposite effect is powerful. You’re likely too young to understand. I could be cynical and say he wanted to steal your ideas. But the reality is it’s a good mix. Just seems like you’re timid. My right hand man was 10 years older than me and most of my crew was 10 years older than me. The people I took a chance on to groom for success and give them an opportunity were 10 years younger than me. My company structure ranged from 21 years old to 50 years old. With me in the middle at about 35 years old. Let me ask you something. Is everyone in your organization going to be the same age that you are?
I understand your thought but here i don’t think it’s only about age
Who can say, we only know one side of the story. And then kind of, it’s a version of events. I just meet a lot of younger people on here who only feel comfortable starting a business with people in their early 20s, which is typically going be a horrible idea for business. Not always, but usually. My first business I was seeking to bring in someone in their 50s for weekly meetings to motivate the sales team, he was a banker and naval captain that was a family friend. My two 20 year-old partners insisted that it’s only us and of course two of them ended up embezzling cash. They lost their tiny minds when $10,000 came through the door. in my mind, that was a starting point for weekly cash flow. I think everyone can do better than a 20-year-old CFO. Everyone went on to own businesses of their own. Some multiple businesses. One of them is dead and the other is on their second round of felonies 10 years ago, and back then when I read the report from a regulatory agency. It indicated he had committed a series of seven felonies in one sitting. This was after being on house arrest for at least a year or more on a tether. Your mileage may vary.
In my eyes, when you pick your CFO… Go for someone who is a CPA with 4+ years experience in the field. Not somebody who’s counting their college education towards any of those years either. Someone who is actively in the workforce as a certified public accountant.
If you’re worried about the IP going out the door, then execute fast. I shared my IP with a possible partner recently and within 24 hours of sharing that IP I had it registered with the state as a liability company. Within two weeks I had a service mark registered with the state and it’s in process. Mind you my company is approximately a little over two weeks old. I also own the domain name and had it forwarded to web hosting regardless of how the website looks it’s live. There are bank accounts, one conventional and two Fintech. There are two credit card processors for the company. I capitalize the company and place my initial order for supplies. There are contracts and receipts and all of this took place in less than three weeks. And that is the advantage of working with an older man or woman. I already have a top-tier attorney representing me as my entertainment attorney. And I have a two partner accounting firm representing me as my accountants, or at least giving me a test to see how my business is going to go so that they can become my accounting firm at the beginning of September. That’s because I need to have my accounting work done before 15 September. I meant to reply to OP with this, and I’m likely not going to move it. He can see it if he wants.
[удалено]
Thank you for the correction.
Well I’m not a ‘he’ I’m a woman, I’m in my thirties at the top of my field, and the cofounder I was considering had a long list of successes and huge wins that made me skeptical about why he’d want to cofound an early stage startup. It’s not about age, I simply mentioned that the age difference and his need for control were other factors that hindered our power dynamic. Maybe he would have been a great advisor had I trusted him, but not someone who’s going to be my cofounder.