I said this to somebody 11 hours ago.
"**I stay sober because I have more to lose now than I did before. I have the respect of more people, I have money in the bank for retirement, I have a career I got in recovery that I couldn't perform if I were still drinking. I have more friends than ever and I feel like I actually am contributing to the world."**
I also go to AA and I'm able to help people new in recovery.
This. Each day, one day at a time.
Sobriety date 4 January 2018.
Love passing on what was so freely given to me at AA. I am a different person sober but still funny, loud and love a good party.
Happy, joyous and free from the shackles of alcohol.
Goddamn yep that's pretty much it. I wouldn't be able to have the life I have now if I drank again - and I very much like the life I have now. Funny how that happens
What keeps me going?? How about: Every. Single. Thing. In. My. Life. Is. Better. Without. Alcohol.
You name it: The quality of my relationships; health; Money; waking up in the morning; my work; where I live; how much money I make; my energy levels; my self narrative; my choices; travelling. I could go on.
I also know that my brain is always trying to find a way back into alcohol through bullshit narratives like ‘just have one’ or it’s a ‘special occasion’. Yeah I don’t think so - I can now see those lies a mile off. Now seven years sober - and there’s no way I’m going back.
Exactly. Sitting outside with my kids cracking a coconut with a screwdriver and hammer. So much better without the shakes. Didn't even think about it until I saw this thread pop up.
That's just a tiny one. Also no hangover. No quest for today's 10 minutes of lucky buzz, you know, that 10 minutes where my mind finally doesn't crave alcohol.
The $40 I would of spent on alcohol today on that quest is also not being spent.
The just have ones don't appeal to me now. To be clear, any time I think of one, I know it will cost me tens of thousands of dollars. This was my 4th attempt to quit drinking entirely and I have real numbers to back that up. If I touch one drink a bottle of Jack will be in my desk that evening, it's guaranteed. I have receipts from attempt 3 to prove it.
Self Narrative is very important, I think it’s finally got me to quit. I have a problem with negative self talk, my inner voice in part comes from my mom (an alcoholic). I started to see myself mirroring her with my children. She had a hard life, harder than mine and drinking is her coping mechanism- she still tried really hard to break her generational trauma but bits seeped through but I did have a more love and support than she ever received. So that’s what’s been keeping me going, I just succumb to the trauma and shitty behavior when I try to escape in alcohol. And I my negative talk worsens, and I believe that I’m too far gone to work on it. I want to be love, I want my mind to be clear so I can give my kids a better chance still, I want to give them supportive inner voices and heal my own. That’s what is keeping me going. Granted I’m only 17 days it’s the longest I’ve gone in literal years.
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative. Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative and thoughts of drinking . Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
I just don't want to drink tbh with you. I do get quick flashes but they last a second and are instantly replaced with the grim reality of what would happen if i drank; i'd be saying goodbye to my job, my happiness, everything i've worked so hard for.
Drinking just seems like a proper shit option next to that tbh. I simply don't want it.
I think the reason i feel that way and react that way to alcohol now isn't like random. It's due to something i intentionally did early on. Whenever the craving or urge came in i would consciously and actively remind myself of the reality of drinking - the craving never would, it would just make me wanna do it. By constantly challenging those cravings and making a conscious effort to change my knee jerk reaction to them (wanting to drink) it naturally changed over time. By a couple months it got a lot easier to manage.
What i've just described is basic CBT and it really does work, but you have to be consistent and on top of it to rewire your brain. If i start going along with the cravings and how good drinking could be without challenging them, i have no doubt id talk myself into drinking very quickly because well, im allowing my mind to show me alcohol in a positive way.
I can't afford to let my mind do that - i am an alcoholic and that is alcoholism trying to worm its way back in so i tend to be all over any thoughts like that immediately
this is good. although it took me ages to realise. I had a very near miss at around 5 months when I def was going to slam some whiskey but was interrupted and wasnt able to. it really shook me up and in retrospection I knew that I'd been building up to it for a few weeks, entertaining positive thoughts of drinking. so I really try to kill any romanticism in the early stages now
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative and thoughts of drinking . Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
I stay sober because I prefer it. I was fat with low self esteem and severe anxiety. Yes I do get cravings but I am so much happier and healthier now. I’m proud of myself.
I also keep my shit together because I’m a single mom and I have their lives in my hands
Not ever waking up to feeling sick, anxious , nauseous , guilty, lost memory , gagging , basically I think of that one drink and then I make myself feel all those feelings at once again and know that I will never drink again. Thinking ahead has helped me the most , I am 5 years 5 months and 22 days sober 🙏🏻
After a year of healing from alcoholism I see that the road of sobriety stretches out before me and can take me to entirely new places if I follow it. I can do things and experience things that drunk me can’t even imagine!
There are several things:
1. Playing the tape forward. I know me, I know my habits and where they will lead.
2. Waking up hangover free! OMG this is the best and honestly what keeps me from drinking.
Case in point to number 2: Went out to dinner after a birthday party last night and the table across from us, three couples, was in it deep! There were countless empty bottles and pint glasses on their table to confirm this. The waitress, after taking our food order, went back to them and convinced them to order the "house shot" a concoction that the bartender made up for the place. The group agreed, and when the shots were delivered, the one guy said "Oh shit, I'm going to regret this in the morning!"
The only thing I regretted is not ordering dessert.
T
The same thing that keeps me from putting my finger in a pencil sharpener.
I guess I could do it, but I'm pretty sure it would hurt.
I could recite a lot of recovery-based things that were probably more relevant in earlier recovery, but at this point it's been so long that I don't really relate to the idea of drinking.
It's a poison derived from decomposing vegetation. I'm good.
I've gone to birthday parties and weddings and funerals and concerts and happy hours and had fun without drinking, so I don't romanticize what alcohol is contributing to those situations.
I am happy where I am, so I don't long to go back to the old ways. Being out of the prison is really fun.
I’m not going to ever have my son look at me the way he did four years ago when he confronted me about my drinking. I’ll do whatever it takes to not ever see that again.
Honestly, I am scared s***less of ever drinking again because I know I will literally not survive it. So yeah, being able to hang out with my friends, family and just do things is what keeps driving mey
Sleep, energy, and motivation all make an upward spiral, and alcohol kills all three of them. I don't want to break the cycle.
Also I REALLY like checking in here and looking at my badge number. Seeing the little number that goes up motivates me a lot. If it ever want back to zero I would be devastated.
Special occasions can be tempting for me, too. The thing that keeps me going is that every time I choose not to drink on a special occasion, I'm SO grateful the following day. I look back and always think "that would not have been worth breaking my sobriety."
If it was a fun event, it was fun sober too. If it was a bad/boring event, well...it would only have been shittier if I drank.
The thought of drinking makes me sick to my stomach. I remind myself some reasons I stopped drinking to begin with.
-I was looking at dumpsters around town to get rid of all the trash in my house.
-The liquor store rotation I had for my vodka runs was so shameful
-Good chance I’d be violently ill until 10am most mornings
-Poor diet and financial decisions with delivery options
-Refusal to see people, any people
-….Bedwetting
The things I’ve gained by not drinking
-Weight loss
-Motivation to do things, NEW things
-Way less anxiety
-My cat loves me more now
-A strong circle of friends
-Respect from friends and family for my journey
-(work in progress) Cleaning the house because I want to live in a clean place
Life is just…better now.
I spent about 15 years being cleaned up after so now I choose to be the responsible one cleaning up after others. I’m only 3 years into my self imposed equality sentence so I’m gonna keep going and not add more time.
I also embraced that there are going to be “landmark” anniversaries of time away from alcohol that are going to make me think “I got this” and when I enter that head space I lean harder into recovery and ask for support.
How great I feel. How much I can handle now. Even when it's hard. I'd much rather be present, even with pain, than numbing and killing myself. Most of all, I am me again. Found my way back. Never, ever, want to give up essence again. I deserve to be my full self. IWNDWYT.
I have gain more self respect and from others. I have more responsibilities and people actually count on me to evolve in my line of business my family also counts on me. I have never been more fulfilled then now. I take this pretty serious. I stand with you and say that it’s also hard in some occasions but I have some drinks for myself such as proxy wines and NA GIN that helps for me pass those moments. I will not drink again.
I have some seriously good stuff happening in my life and I don’t want to wreck it. My relationship with myself and my family is better than it ever has been. I’m an all-around better person without alcohol in my life.
Sometimes though it comes down to I just don’t want to wreck a good nights sleep for a drink, or lose a whole day of my life to hangover.
What keeps me goingggg, oooofff where to start?
(34m)
1. My wife and kids
2. My business
3. My health
Time to ramble. My life is ten-fold better being sober, in every way possible. My relationship with my wife is back to where it was before I jumped off the deep end. We have a three year old boy and expecting a baby girl in July. My current business has leveled up so much and keeps doing so because of the relationships/networking I am able to make/do sober. I am starting another business, a niche within the field I am in business in now — all because of my sobriety.
I also have this thought that I ponder, now sober, and also when I was not sober … and I apply this to many things in my life to put me in check.
- If I am actively engaging in an activity that I’m not too sure is healthy/should really be doing, I say to myself: “If I had to explain what and why I am doing this, to my three year old, would they be proud of what I was doing? Or would I be too embarrassed to even begin to explain it?”
IWNDWYT
**edit** spelling errors
i work at a bar, then endless cycle of seeing other peoples alcoholic tendencies sadly keeps me up to date on exactly what im missing out on. My manager is starting to get withdrawals and keeps calling off some days because she gets so sick. I see people inhale 2 packs of cigarettes and 10+ drinks in a single sitting wondering how in the heck are they gonna feel in the morning. Ive seen happy couples cheat with the most grotesque people right in front of everyone cause theyre blacked out. I will say i envy the people who have a few drinks and go home, and loathe the ones who get so fucking annoying they dont even realize.
I came to terms with the fact that I cannot have inner peace and have alcohol in my life at the same time. I choose inner peace. I have never regretted that decision.
After my first bottom, I went *one whole week* without drinking. That *proved* I could stop if I felt like it. So I went back to my old habits until the 3rd bottom when I'd had enough.
I just never want to feel or go through that again. Nor does my family. I love my life now. I'd rather not fuck it up.
(From my own experience, once I got past a certain point it rarely occurs as an option to me. My sobriety is more of a habit.)
At some point of my sobriety, it stopped being about me and more about how I can use my experience to help others. Not that I’m ignoring my own sobriety, I just don’t think as much about myself anymore.
But similar to another comment or two, I’m also in AA. It’s the only thing that’s worked for me, personally, and it’s kept me going one day at a time for a long time.
At some point, I firmly decided that my life's purpose is to win against this part of my brain that takes me towards addiction, etc. That whatever happens, I will not go back. My ego will not allow me to.
I think alcoholics know what part of brain I am talking about.
I am celebrating 5,000 days sober today. I did this one day at a time. Biggest cliche ever. 100% accurate.
I grew to hate my fat, lazy, whiny alcoholic self. I would literally rather die than live like that again. That's what keeps me going. I love my life now.
I've done all the things while drinking. I'm experiencing life without. Every situation where I'd consider giving in and having a drink - I've done it before. And it's never been a net improvement.
I'm a year and change in, and I've yet to look back and say "yeah alcohol would've improved things"
It's hard to do in the moment until you've had a lot of those moments. I'm just somebody who doesn't drink. I'm sure you know people like that in your life. No matter what, they won't drink. They're onto something.
The KNOWLEDGE of what will happen if I drink. Ask yourself, what happened EVERY TIME you drank? For me, it was the same, every time. Might get a couple "normal" days at the beginning but I KNOW that is an illusion. I KNOW it's not a good idea. You have to KNOW. Otherwise you'll doubt yourself and the wheels will start churning and you'll indulge your curiosity, after which you are no longer in control and could end up dead or worse, killing someone.
I have over 50 days this go around. But I’ve had as much as 8 years in the past. What keeps me sober is knowing from copious experience that I am incapable of moderation. If I break my sobriety to have drinks for a special occasion I will eventually end up drinking every single day and hating myself for it.
First, congrats on your near year of sobriety. That is awesome!
For me, there are lots of reasons.
Never having a hangover.
Never having to say, 'I'm sorry' for some drunken situation.
Not having to worry about the horrible impact it has on my health, body, appearance, relationships, motivation, driving privileges.
Not having to lie to myself, doctors, or others about drinking habits.
So there's a lot.
As a sidenote, March 17 will mark 23 years of being alcohol-free for me.
For me as I get further away from it - alcohol is more repulsive. Seeing the people in my family in older age who are still obsessed with it is a reminder of what not to do.
Plus I feel great - I compare the many years of drinking and all the issues in my life to where I am today, and inviting all the anxiety and complications back into my life seems crazy.
Every once in a while, I wake up with a headache and nausea and feel awful. And I remember that used to be every day. That’s not really the main reason, but I sure do value that reminder.
The main motivation for me to keep lgoing is not being hungover. I have learned to cherish the feeling of waking up free of the psychological and physiological effects that my excessive drinking would cause.
Once I learned that moderation wasn’t a skill I possessed, I understood it was one or the other. It enabled me to also see that alcohol simply was not a reward for me. The domino effect of drinking is not worth the aftermath.
Congratulations on 300 days, it is a wonderful accomplishment!
IWNDWYT!
At this stage, it’s not hard. I would lose 1000 times more than I would ever gain by starting up again. Actually….. I can’t think of a single thing to be gained. I still celebrate all those special occasions with my friends and family and don’t feel like I’m missing out at all.
i had a little over a year sober, my life was easy, and fulfilling. i thought i had it. 6 pack here 6 pack there. it was all a lie. years later i’m still working towards that goal. the grass is not greener and it has the potential to kill you.
I stay sober because, while I’m sure I have a potential relapse in me, I’m not sure I have another recovery. Last time I relapsed I was out there for 14 years before going back to AA.
I met someone today who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety and we were chatting about this! It really comes down to the fact that no night out with friends is worth throwing away everything I’ve gotten over the last year+ of sobriety. And even if it was, it’s not gonna be just one night, I can’t do “just one night” any more than I can have “just one drink”.
I had a hard time the first time I was an airport since I quit, because airports were my happy place to just drink as much as I wanted, get more on the plane, fall asleep and blame it all on jet lag. But I didn’t drink, and now that one day at the airport doesn’t matter at all, I’ve forgotten when exactly it was. If I had caved and gotten a drink, I’d be drunk right now and god knows what else would have gone wrong in this life that I’ve earned, one day at a time.
I cannot imagine ever going back to that poison. As for myself, I was in a very desperate time of addiction and I asked my God to take it away from me and He did, after a heavy forty plus year addiction. No withdrawals or anything like that. So I will remain ever thankful every day and never, ever go back to that life. Life is wonderful without the addiction.
Three things stop me from drinking
1) Being told you have cirrhosis and could be in ESLD is not what you want to hear from a doctor. Knowing that if I started drinking again, I would be dead within a year. It took a year for all my blood tests to be back within the normal range. My MELD score is down to 8 from the mid 20's and I'm off all but 1 of my meds.
2) If I have one drink that's it my brain would kick in asking where's the next and the next. I would be back to were I was a heavy drinker every night.
I still don't understand how someone can go and have just one or two drinks and that's it. I know that's normal drinking but just can comprehend why.
3) If I wake up feeling like shit now I know it's not from alcohol, certainly don't miss those days. Trying to get ready for work, trying not to puke when cleaning my teeth or making up an excuse for not going into work. I now feel guilty if I am sick and have to take the day off.
Congratulations on a year. It now 3 1/2 years for me, I still sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a beer but then I remember the 3 reasons above.
Honestly a year i finally feel like i’m not missing anything. I can go to the bar and not have a beer and still enjoy time with friends.
In addition to that - every time i read a moderation attempt here it steels my resolve to stay away.
Someone recently posted a single glass of wine sent them on a 9 year bender. 9 years is probably 20% of my remaining life span if I am fortunate. I can’t do that to myself, risk family relationships, risk injury, potential time in jail if i get a dui, potentially killing someone, etc…
I am 309 days; I will walk with you on this journey!! I get the occasional twinge, then I THINK IT THROUGH. Meaning, I know how shitty it makes me feel, and I may not be able to stop once I start. That means medical intervention for physical withdrawal. That means losing the respect of those I love, and losing self respect. It would blow any chance for gainful employment, and increase my chances of drinking and driving (killing myself or worse; someone else) exponentially. Possible jail/prison time. No chance of a driver’s license again. ( been down the OUI path many times before) Putting alcohol in my body is pure poison; so there goes my physical health. Someone once likened it to drinking DRAINO. No thanks. The other VITAL daily practices that I consistently perform, is prayer and AA meetings. I connect with others, and work on not isolating. I read these heartfelt posts. I realize that there are many paths to recovery. This is just what works for me.
Blessings to all of you♥️🙏 Thanks for letting me share; and, for being here!!!
The guilt of drinking again keeps me going. The patience with people I have because of no drinking is what keeps me going. The ability to not suppress my negative emotions by drinking keeps me going. I’ve been thinking about drinking every day for the last month and I’m almost 1.5 years sober. It comes in waves. My mind plays tricks on me by thinking I can moderate. I know I can’t. If it happens and I do grab a drink again, I’ll try my damndest to discipline myself and moderate. I like to think my willpower is strong enough to not get to that point but who knows. Keep on keepin’ on brother.
All I have to do is fast forward my mind to the hangover and repeat "that would be stupid. Why bother?" Being hangover-free and on a constant track of health restoration is unbeatable. Instead of degrading my mind and body, I'm now "recharging" it, getting better. Giving myself a better chance of a longer, happier, more fruitful life. I sometimes even knock myself for taking this long. "How could I have been so dumb?" is the feeling I get since I know I'm never going back again.
I have not wanted to drink for years before I was able to quit. What keeps me going is that I managed to quit and that was the hardest part. I don't want to have to do it again.
I am lucky in that the only time I have ever been tempted to drink since quitting was once at a brew pub because I wanted to try their craft brews. It had nothing to do with wanting the alcohol part, it was only about wanting to taste the IPA and stout.
But, like I say, I do not want to have to quit again. There is a chance I could do it and be fine, but a little taste of a good beer is not worth testing that. Once I got over the initial "should I? could I?" moment, and had the ginger ale, and the guy next to me was spending a full day's wage on his beers, the curiosity of the flavor of the beer was gone.
I decided to just splurge on an expensive steak later that I normally would not pay for, but it give me the pleasure of tasting something special and extra good, without the danger of wanting to go back for seconds.
Life is tremendously better. I’d much rather do loving and caring things for my body and brain. Seeing my friends get sick and die or struggle with addiction is always a reminder of the thick web it spins. So, I fear getting caught in the web again.
Drinking has completely lost its value for me as well. Even if I get a craving or think about having just one, my brain instantly reminds me of the long and short term consequences, and it's a very quick no.
I read "Alcohol Explained" and it breaks down what it's doing to you scientifically and it's literal poison. Made me realize what I was doing to myself and stopped. When I look at alcohol when I'm passing it by in the store, I feel nauseous because I remember all the times I threw up or had bad hangovers. That was enough for me to stop.
When I want to drink, I check in with myself and reliably realise that I'm hungry, tired, sad, frustrated etc. and remember that it **will** pass, probably quite quickly. I just want to drink because my brain apparently still considers it to be a valid self-soothing method.
If I *do* drink, I know all I'm going to do is add a whole pile of regret and shame to whatever negative emotions I'm feeling, and very possibly end up spiralling.
At social occasions/celebrations I'm not actually bothered - I'm generally in a good mood at those, alcohol isn't going to add anything. Though I do prefer it when there's NA beer available! Feels less isolating.
When I decided to quit once and for all, it was about 5 days before my best friend’s landmark birthday party.
I considered waiting a week but I had decided I couldn’t put it off any longer.
So I went to the party, didn’t drink, had a great time and woke up without a hangover. It was that experience that made it stick, I think.
Its a very personal decision, but I never avoided parties and social events after I stopped drinking, in fact I went to more of them than I did while I was drinking (when I drank, I sometimes got an early start and decided to skip the party) and had a better time than I did when I got drunk all the time.
And my friends always had a designated driver they could count on.
At this point for me, it’s not hard. I’m a person that doesn’t drink and it’s completely baked into to my identity.
I don't even remember what it feels like to drink with my friends. Today, I have zero friends who drink. After a while, I realized I had a little in common with people who like to hang out in bars and party. It's really not that great of a thing hahaha!
What keeps me going? I prefer to be awake and aware. I am present. My health is near excellent for my age. I travel the world and I have friends in all places, and I can't even imagine what booze costs today! I have far better things to do with my money.
I have very fleeting moments of “wanting” a drink. But it doesn’t last and I don’t dwell. I am really much happier now than I ever was in my life before and drinking made things 100000x worse than necessary. Just happy to be here and just never want to go back to where I was before!
The first year and a half (at least) for me was all about getting used to being sober. Rediscovering who i am sober, what do i like sober and stuff like that. Creating new habits and new ways to interact with the ones i love.
After time passed i managed to spend quality time with my friends and family without the crutch of alcohol. But i had to teach myself that it was possible and that took time.
IWNDWYT
My life has gotten infinitely better since I quit drinking 5-1/2 years ago. I know myself. I can’t moderate. It’s all or nothing. I would lose everything if I went back to drinking as all the improvement in my life was only possible for me because I chose to quit.
I’ve doubled my salary, have a job I mostly love, 2 beautiful children (3-1/2 year old girl and 5 month old boy) with my husband who stuck with me through it all (10 years together, 4 married), built a home on acreage, have a savings account, good health (still struggling a bit with my weight but at least it’s pregnancy and pizza weight, not from 3000 empty calories 4x a week)…literally, the list goes on and on…
If it sounds like I’m bragging, I am! I did all this because I didn’t drink. Could never go back, especially with my children.
At one point your sobriety, including everything many people in here have said as benefits, becomes a set of premium armor. I’ve gone from 0 to +2. I wouldn’t give this up for anything.
I realized I didn't need alcohol to have a good time and in fact, people I care about like me more when I'm not a loud drunk bafoon. The people who miss the bafoon make me suspicious, because they know what that cost me.
For the first time in a long time, I like who I am. Why introduce Alcohol to throw off my mental health. Alcohol doesn't improve my life.
Although it would be nice to have a drink every now and then, I know that one would probably be 2 which would turn to 10 pretty quick.
21 months in and I feel better, make fewer bad decisions, am less reactive and am more frequently happy than at any time in life. I think I prefer this and would like it to continue for the few remaining days I have.
My life is so much better without alcohol, it’s a no brainer. I look fantastic, I’m sorting through things that have bothered me for decades that I never wanted to deal with and finding it incredibly healing. I have a lot of great non alcoholic drinks that I like, I don’t feel envy when other people drink. I never thought I’d be able to say that. I’m just so thankful to be in the place that I am in now. It’s beautiful.
My live has changed to the better, I have no urge to drink alc just because I'm in company. Well, there haden't been any social contacts left in the end. There are now, and all of them accepts, when I tell them "No alcohol for me!"
The other thing is the knowledge that the stuff will kill me this time before I get the chance to stop again. And stopping last detox was hell, which I don't want to go through again.
I’ve noticed a clear sliding in my behaviour too - not back towards wanting a drink, but doing all the harmful things I did while being drunk (eating bad food all the time, being super lazy / on my phone all the time etc). I’m trying to get back into doing things I did in my early sobriety, to remind me of the cold hard facts about this disease and also do some of things that made me really content & happy in the first few months (eg share in meetings, ring up other alcoholics to check in etc). I can see it having a good effect already. Good luck mate
It's no longer a part of my life, it's no longer something I think about. It's as if I have travelled back in time to when I was 12 and I had absolutely ZERO interest in drinking alcohol. Sounds odd, but that's how effective it has been to rewire my brain and subconscious. If you no longer WANT or LIKE alcohol it's simply not that hard.
Life is better in so many ways. I’m always present. I feel better. My family knows I’ll always be there for them. No hangovers. I’m proud of myself.
When I see people drinking, they genuinely don’t seem like they are enjoying themselves. It’s more of habit than anything.
I know if I drink with friends, I will be right back to the shit I pulled myself out of. Maybe not that night, but eventually I know where I would end up. Fuck that. It's all or nothing, baby. IWNDWYT
I’m 20 months along. It helped me to listen to audiobooks and watch YouTube videos about the effects of alcohol. I came to understand how alcohol does nothing for me. I have mostly avoided big events but the few parties that I did go to, I brought my own drink (spindrift) or drank seltzer and water. Watching my friends drink and hearing about their hangovers just makes me feel like I am on the right path for not drinking. I’m thankful to also have a few sober friends who model how to have a good time without drinking. I also quit drinking and started a healthy diet at the same time. I lost a lot of weight and now I’m keeping it off for more than a year. I don’t want that progress undone. I’m happy with my new way of eating and enjoying my healthy body weight. Some of the best resources for me were: the books Nothing Good Can Come From This, This Naked Mind, Quit Like a Woman and Bright Line Eating. I like the YouTube channels of Sober Leon Bright Line Eating and Andrew Huberman. Hope they are helpful for you too.
Honestly, my daughter. There are loads of other reasons, myriad, but the one that pulls me the hardest when cravings happen (and they’re much less, much weaker, less frequent and briefer than ever now) is protecting her.
She deserves a clean slate to start her life, and that means a mother who looks after her and herself.
I'm going through some difficulty right now that is hard enough without any of the drawbacks that alcohol has to offer - and that is putting it mildly. :)
I'm more healthy - in better shape physically and mentally - more so than ever; my relationship with wife and kids is the best its been in years. Finances are more on track than ever - though that has been difficult from all the years of irresponsibility and complications unique to my situation.
I'm just way better off without alcohol - even on my worst day... *especially* on my worst day!
IWNDWYT
Stay strong.
The longer you quit, the less you think about alcohol. I found around the 2 year mark, I rarely thought about alcohol. Now I'm just a non-drinker, it doesn't bother me like it once did when being social. Hang in there.
Also from experience, those one off occasions, they always spiraled back to daily drink for me. Might not have been instantly back to daily drinking, but eventually it got there again. Sometimes it took, weeks, sometimes months... but it always ended up in the same result.
I just know I can't drink. So why start again?
Thank you friend for sharing you experience
I only have 16 days and many times i feel like want to drink with friends or alone, till I don’t have any thing that can replace alcohol!
But according to many stories of guys I hope I will find one, so meanwhile IWNDWYT and tomorrow!
In my more than 2.5 years sober I've never woken up and thought I wished I would have drank last night. I continue to take it one day at a time and for the grace of God have been able to put some days together. Just for today I won't drink and smoke with you.
I said this to somebody 11 hours ago. "**I stay sober because I have more to lose now than I did before. I have the respect of more people, I have money in the bank for retirement, I have a career I got in recovery that I couldn't perform if I were still drinking. I have more friends than ever and I feel like I actually am contributing to the world."** I also go to AA and I'm able to help people new in recovery.
That's amazing. I'd add respect for myself to,that list, though I'm still a lil baby sobernaut
NICE day to you, neener neener.
Thank you!! :)
Great answer
I feel the same.
This. Each day, one day at a time. Sobriety date 4 January 2018. Love passing on what was so freely given to me at AA. I am a different person sober but still funny, loud and love a good party. Happy, joyous and free from the shackles of alcohol.
Goddamn yep that's pretty much it. I wouldn't be able to have the life I have now if I drank again - and I very much like the life I have now. Funny how that happens
What keeps me going?? How about: Every. Single. Thing. In. My. Life. Is. Better. Without. Alcohol. You name it: The quality of my relationships; health; Money; waking up in the morning; my work; where I live; how much money I make; my energy levels; my self narrative; my choices; travelling. I could go on. I also know that my brain is always trying to find a way back into alcohol through bullshit narratives like ‘just have one’ or it’s a ‘special occasion’. Yeah I don’t think so - I can now see those lies a mile off. Now seven years sober - and there’s no way I’m going back.
Exactly. Sitting outside with my kids cracking a coconut with a screwdriver and hammer. So much better without the shakes. Didn't even think about it until I saw this thread pop up. That's just a tiny one. Also no hangover. No quest for today's 10 minutes of lucky buzz, you know, that 10 minutes where my mind finally doesn't crave alcohol. The $40 I would of spent on alcohol today on that quest is also not being spent. The just have ones don't appeal to me now. To be clear, any time I think of one, I know it will cost me tens of thousands of dollars. This was my 4th attempt to quit drinking entirely and I have real numbers to back that up. If I touch one drink a bottle of Jack will be in my desk that evening, it's guaranteed. I have receipts from attempt 3 to prove it.
Proud of you for never giving up on yourself! IWNDWYT
This is the correct answer 👏 IWNDWYT congrats on 7 years.
Self Narrative is very important, I think it’s finally got me to quit. I have a problem with negative self talk, my inner voice in part comes from my mom (an alcoholic). I started to see myself mirroring her with my children. She had a hard life, harder than mine and drinking is her coping mechanism- she still tried really hard to break her generational trauma but bits seeped through but I did have a more love and support than she ever received. So that’s what’s been keeping me going, I just succumb to the trauma and shitty behavior when I try to escape in alcohol. And I my negative talk worsens, and I believe that I’m too far gone to work on it. I want to be love, I want my mind to be clear so I can give my kids a better chance still, I want to give them supportive inner voices and heal my own. That’s what is keeping me going. Granted I’m only 17 days it’s the longest I’ve gone in literal years.
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative. Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
Yep yep yep.
Ya that’s what I thinkbtoo
Every. Single. Thing.
‘My self narrative’ - well said that’s what keeps me going
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative and thoughts of drinking . Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
Can't top this one. IWNDWYT!
Omg congratulations! 7 years is huge! Wishing you the best
Ditto
I just don't want to drink tbh with you. I do get quick flashes but they last a second and are instantly replaced with the grim reality of what would happen if i drank; i'd be saying goodbye to my job, my happiness, everything i've worked so hard for. Drinking just seems like a proper shit option next to that tbh. I simply don't want it. I think the reason i feel that way and react that way to alcohol now isn't like random. It's due to something i intentionally did early on. Whenever the craving or urge came in i would consciously and actively remind myself of the reality of drinking - the craving never would, it would just make me wanna do it. By constantly challenging those cravings and making a conscious effort to change my knee jerk reaction to them (wanting to drink) it naturally changed over time. By a couple months it got a lot easier to manage. What i've just described is basic CBT and it really does work, but you have to be consistent and on top of it to rewire your brain. If i start going along with the cravings and how good drinking could be without challenging them, i have no doubt id talk myself into drinking very quickly because well, im allowing my mind to show me alcohol in a positive way. I can't afford to let my mind do that - i am an alcoholic and that is alcoholism trying to worm its way back in so i tend to be all over any thoughts like that immediately
this is good. although it took me ages to realise. I had a very near miss at around 5 months when I def was going to slam some whiskey but was interrupted and wasnt able to. it really shook me up and in retrospection I knew that I'd been building up to it for a few weeks, entertaining positive thoughts of drinking. so I really try to kill any romanticism in the early stages now
Check out Eckhart Tolles book the power of now. That dude REALLY helped me with my self narrative and thoughts of drinking . Here is an example of his work with Oprah https://youtu.be/fMnEuS1TyAM?si=xOLmlm-fYCEXkXaJ
I stay sober because I prefer it. I was fat with low self esteem and severe anxiety. Yes I do get cravings but I am so much happier and healthier now. I’m proud of myself. I also keep my shit together because I’m a single mom and I have their lives in my hands
And you have their love and respect too
I get to live my life, alcohol doesn't live it. I was 24 the last time I drank, I'll be 72 in a couple weeks.
Username checks out!
Wow! Long sober life that most won't experience! Congrats
Wow incredible. I’m gonna take it from your username that sobriety is good!
Not ever waking up to feeling sick, anxious , nauseous , guilty, lost memory , gagging , basically I think of that one drink and then I make myself feel all those feelings at once again and know that I will never drink again. Thinking ahead has helped me the most , I am 5 years 5 months and 22 days sober 🙏🏻
After a year of healing from alcoholism I see that the road of sobriety stretches out before me and can take me to entirely new places if I follow it. I can do things and experience things that drunk me can’t even imagine!
There are several things: 1. Playing the tape forward. I know me, I know my habits and where they will lead. 2. Waking up hangover free! OMG this is the best and honestly what keeps me from drinking. Case in point to number 2: Went out to dinner after a birthday party last night and the table across from us, three couples, was in it deep! There were countless empty bottles and pint glasses on their table to confirm this. The waitress, after taking our food order, went back to them and convinced them to order the "house shot" a concoction that the bartender made up for the place. The group agreed, and when the shots were delivered, the one guy said "Oh shit, I'm going to regret this in the morning!" The only thing I regretted is not ordering dessert. T
The same thing that keeps me from putting my finger in a pencil sharpener. I guess I could do it, but I'm pretty sure it would hurt. I could recite a lot of recovery-based things that were probably more relevant in earlier recovery, but at this point it's been so long that I don't really relate to the idea of drinking. It's a poison derived from decomposing vegetation. I'm good.
I like the new version of me better than the old me
This. Plus my boyfriend only knows the new version of me and I refuse to let him see the old me. I value that man and our relationship way too much.
It’s a simple as this
I've gone to birthday parties and weddings and funerals and concerts and happy hours and had fun without drinking, so I don't romanticize what alcohol is contributing to those situations. I am happy where I am, so I don't long to go back to the old ways. Being out of the prison is really fun.
I’m not going to ever have my son look at me the way he did four years ago when he confronted me about my drinking. I’ll do whatever it takes to not ever see that again.
Honestly, I am scared s***less of ever drinking again because I know I will literally not survive it. So yeah, being able to hang out with my friends, family and just do things is what keeps driving mey
Sleep, energy, and motivation all make an upward spiral, and alcohol kills all three of them. I don't want to break the cycle. Also I REALLY like checking in here and looking at my badge number. Seeing the little number that goes up motivates me a lot. If it ever want back to zero I would be devastated.
Special occasions can be tempting for me, too. The thing that keeps me going is that every time I choose not to drink on a special occasion, I'm SO grateful the following day. I look back and always think "that would not have been worth breaking my sobriety." If it was a fun event, it was fun sober too. If it was a bad/boring event, well...it would only have been shittier if I drank.
THIS!!!
I have been sober over 41 years. Why stop now?
Mad impressive
The thought of drinking makes me sick to my stomach. I remind myself some reasons I stopped drinking to begin with. -I was looking at dumpsters around town to get rid of all the trash in my house. -The liquor store rotation I had for my vodka runs was so shameful -Good chance I’d be violently ill until 10am most mornings -Poor diet and financial decisions with delivery options -Refusal to see people, any people -….Bedwetting The things I’ve gained by not drinking -Weight loss -Motivation to do things, NEW things -Way less anxiety -My cat loves me more now -A strong circle of friends -Respect from friends and family for my journey -(work in progress) Cleaning the house because I want to live in a clean place Life is just…better now.
I spent about 15 years being cleaned up after so now I choose to be the responsible one cleaning up after others. I’m only 3 years into my self imposed equality sentence so I’m gonna keep going and not add more time.
I also embraced that there are going to be “landmark” anniversaries of time away from alcohol that are going to make me think “I got this” and when I enter that head space I lean harder into recovery and ask for support.
How great I feel. How much I can handle now. Even when it's hard. I'd much rather be present, even with pain, than numbing and killing myself. Most of all, I am me again. Found my way back. Never, ever, want to give up essence again. I deserve to be my full self. IWNDWYT.
I have gain more self respect and from others. I have more responsibilities and people actually count on me to evolve in my line of business my family also counts on me. I have never been more fulfilled then now. I take this pretty serious. I stand with you and say that it’s also hard in some occasions but I have some drinks for myself such as proxy wines and NA GIN that helps for me pass those moments. I will not drink again.
I have some seriously good stuff happening in my life and I don’t want to wreck it. My relationship with myself and my family is better than it ever has been. I’m an all-around better person without alcohol in my life. Sometimes though it comes down to I just don’t want to wreck a good nights sleep for a drink, or lose a whole day of my life to hangover.
All of this.
Hey Fernon! 👋
What keeps me goingggg, oooofff where to start? (34m) 1. My wife and kids 2. My business 3. My health Time to ramble. My life is ten-fold better being sober, in every way possible. My relationship with my wife is back to where it was before I jumped off the deep end. We have a three year old boy and expecting a baby girl in July. My current business has leveled up so much and keeps doing so because of the relationships/networking I am able to make/do sober. I am starting another business, a niche within the field I am in business in now — all because of my sobriety. I also have this thought that I ponder, now sober, and also when I was not sober … and I apply this to many things in my life to put me in check. - If I am actively engaging in an activity that I’m not too sure is healthy/should really be doing, I say to myself: “If I had to explain what and why I am doing this, to my three year old, would they be proud of what I was doing? Or would I be too embarrassed to even begin to explain it?” IWNDWYT **edit** spelling errors
I was a loner drinker, I drank at events but mostly alone. I enjoy having quality friendships now.
Seeing drunk people make fools of themselves (some mildly, some extreme) helps me immensely
Same! I though I was the only one that admitted this
👍🏽
Thank you all for sharing ! I will be reading this whenever I want to drink.
i work at a bar, then endless cycle of seeing other peoples alcoholic tendencies sadly keeps me up to date on exactly what im missing out on. My manager is starting to get withdrawals and keeps calling off some days because she gets so sick. I see people inhale 2 packs of cigarettes and 10+ drinks in a single sitting wondering how in the heck are they gonna feel in the morning. Ive seen happy couples cheat with the most grotesque people right in front of everyone cause theyre blacked out. I will say i envy the people who have a few drinks and go home, and loathe the ones who get so fucking annoying they dont even realize.
I came to terms with the fact that I cannot have inner peace and have alcohol in my life at the same time. I choose inner peace. I have never regretted that decision.
How good I feel keeps me going. I wouldn’t trade my current situation for anything in the world.
For me, drinking in the “normal” way you’re imagining would be a fantasy. I’m all in or all out and all in just isn’t an option anymore.
I think about the withdrawals that almost killed me and my wife not caring because she was justifiably over it. Also I don’t have any friends
After my first bottom, I went *one whole week* without drinking. That *proved* I could stop if I felt like it. So I went back to my old habits until the 3rd bottom when I'd had enough. I just never want to feel or go through that again. Nor does my family. I love my life now. I'd rather not fuck it up. (From my own experience, once I got past a certain point it rarely occurs as an option to me. My sobriety is more of a habit.)
The number one answer is gratitude! A grateful alcoholic doesn’t drink.
At some point of my sobriety, it stopped being about me and more about how I can use my experience to help others. Not that I’m ignoring my own sobriety, I just don’t think as much about myself anymore. But similar to another comment or two, I’m also in AA. It’s the only thing that’s worked for me, personally, and it’s kept me going one day at a time for a long time.
At some point, I firmly decided that my life's purpose is to win against this part of my brain that takes me towards addiction, etc. That whatever happens, I will not go back. My ego will not allow me to. I think alcoholics know what part of brain I am talking about.
I am celebrating 5,000 days sober today. I did this one day at a time. Biggest cliche ever. 100% accurate. I grew to hate my fat, lazy, whiny alcoholic self. I would literally rather die than live like that again. That's what keeps me going. I love my life now.
The Happiness I Feel Everyday without a hangover and the added weight it brought.
I've done all the things while drinking. I'm experiencing life without. Every situation where I'd consider giving in and having a drink - I've done it before. And it's never been a net improvement. I'm a year and change in, and I've yet to look back and say "yeah alcohol would've improved things" It's hard to do in the moment until you've had a lot of those moments. I'm just somebody who doesn't drink. I'm sure you know people like that in your life. No matter what, they won't drink. They're onto something.
The KNOWLEDGE of what will happen if I drink. Ask yourself, what happened EVERY TIME you drank? For me, it was the same, every time. Might get a couple "normal" days at the beginning but I KNOW that is an illusion. I KNOW it's not a good idea. You have to KNOW. Otherwise you'll doubt yourself and the wheels will start churning and you'll indulge your curiosity, after which you are no longer in control and could end up dead or worse, killing someone.
I have over 50 days this go around. But I’ve had as much as 8 years in the past. What keeps me sober is knowing from copious experience that I am incapable of moderation. If I break my sobriety to have drinks for a special occasion I will eventually end up drinking every single day and hating myself for it.
First, congrats on your near year of sobriety. That is awesome! For me, there are lots of reasons. Never having a hangover. Never having to say, 'I'm sorry' for some drunken situation. Not having to worry about the horrible impact it has on my health, body, appearance, relationships, motivation, driving privileges. Not having to lie to myself, doctors, or others about drinking habits. So there's a lot. As a sidenote, March 17 will mark 23 years of being alcohol-free for me.
Incredible accomplishment
Thank you kindly. IWNDWYT and I hope you continue your path of sobriety. One day at a time.
For me as I get further away from it - alcohol is more repulsive. Seeing the people in my family in older age who are still obsessed with it is a reminder of what not to do. Plus I feel great - I compare the many years of drinking and all the issues in my life to where I am today, and inviting all the anxiety and complications back into my life seems crazy.
Every once in a while, I wake up with a headache and nausea and feel awful. And I remember that used to be every day. That’s not really the main reason, but I sure do value that reminder.
The main motivation for me to keep lgoing is not being hungover. I have learned to cherish the feeling of waking up free of the psychological and physiological effects that my excessive drinking would cause. Once I learned that moderation wasn’t a skill I possessed, I understood it was one or the other. It enabled me to also see that alcohol simply was not a reward for me. The domino effect of drinking is not worth the aftermath. Congratulations on 300 days, it is a wonderful accomplishment! IWNDWYT!
At this stage, it’s not hard. I would lose 1000 times more than I would ever gain by starting up again. Actually….. I can’t think of a single thing to be gained. I still celebrate all those special occasions with my friends and family and don’t feel like I’m missing out at all.
the longer i go, the less of a thing it is. if i'm hanging with people i just get a soda or a water and it's nbd
I don't drink. I don't see myself as an alcoholic or a former drinker. I just don't drink. Look forward, not backward.
i had a little over a year sober, my life was easy, and fulfilling. i thought i had it. 6 pack here 6 pack there. it was all a lie. years later i’m still working towards that goal. the grass is not greener and it has the potential to kill you.
Nothing in my life would improve if I reintroduced alcohol.. that’s what keeps me going.
I stay sober because, while I’m sure I have a potential relapse in me, I’m not sure I have another recovery. Last time I relapsed I was out there for 14 years before going back to AA.
Knowing if you go back out on a relapse there's a very good chance you'll enter another year of harmful drinking and ruinous behaviour.
It’s NEVER just one drink for me. And the memory of the crippling anxiety and hangovers is still fresh in my mind like it was yesterday. 💖
I met someone today who just celebrated 40 years of sobriety and we were chatting about this! It really comes down to the fact that no night out with friends is worth throwing away everything I’ve gotten over the last year+ of sobriety. And even if it was, it’s not gonna be just one night, I can’t do “just one night” any more than I can have “just one drink”. I had a hard time the first time I was an airport since I quit, because airports were my happy place to just drink as much as I wanted, get more on the plane, fall asleep and blame it all on jet lag. But I didn’t drink, and now that one day at the airport doesn’t matter at all, I’ve forgotten when exactly it was. If I had caved and gotten a drink, I’d be drunk right now and god knows what else would have gone wrong in this life that I’ve earned, one day at a time.
Love.
I cannot imagine ever going back to that poison. As for myself, I was in a very desperate time of addiction and I asked my God to take it away from me and He did, after a heavy forty plus year addiction. No withdrawals or anything like that. So I will remain ever thankful every day and never, ever go back to that life. Life is wonderful without the addiction.
Three things stop me from drinking 1) Being told you have cirrhosis and could be in ESLD is not what you want to hear from a doctor. Knowing that if I started drinking again, I would be dead within a year. It took a year for all my blood tests to be back within the normal range. My MELD score is down to 8 from the mid 20's and I'm off all but 1 of my meds. 2) If I have one drink that's it my brain would kick in asking where's the next and the next. I would be back to were I was a heavy drinker every night. I still don't understand how someone can go and have just one or two drinks and that's it. I know that's normal drinking but just can comprehend why. 3) If I wake up feeling like shit now I know it's not from alcohol, certainly don't miss those days. Trying to get ready for work, trying not to puke when cleaning my teeth or making up an excuse for not going into work. I now feel guilty if I am sick and have to take the day off. Congratulations on a year. It now 3 1/2 years for me, I still sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a beer but then I remember the 3 reasons above.
Honestly a year i finally feel like i’m not missing anything. I can go to the bar and not have a beer and still enjoy time with friends. In addition to that - every time i read a moderation attempt here it steels my resolve to stay away. Someone recently posted a single glass of wine sent them on a 9 year bender. 9 years is probably 20% of my remaining life span if I am fortunate. I can’t do that to myself, risk family relationships, risk injury, potential time in jail if i get a dui, potentially killing someone, etc…
I am 309 days; I will walk with you on this journey!! I get the occasional twinge, then I THINK IT THROUGH. Meaning, I know how shitty it makes me feel, and I may not be able to stop once I start. That means medical intervention for physical withdrawal. That means losing the respect of those I love, and losing self respect. It would blow any chance for gainful employment, and increase my chances of drinking and driving (killing myself or worse; someone else) exponentially. Possible jail/prison time. No chance of a driver’s license again. ( been down the OUI path many times before) Putting alcohol in my body is pure poison; so there goes my physical health. Someone once likened it to drinking DRAINO. No thanks. The other VITAL daily practices that I consistently perform, is prayer and AA meetings. I connect with others, and work on not isolating. I read these heartfelt posts. I realize that there are many paths to recovery. This is just what works for me. Blessings to all of you♥️🙏 Thanks for letting me share; and, for being here!!!
The guilt of drinking again keeps me going. The patience with people I have because of no drinking is what keeps me going. The ability to not suppress my negative emotions by drinking keeps me going. I’ve been thinking about drinking every day for the last month and I’m almost 1.5 years sober. It comes in waves. My mind plays tricks on me by thinking I can moderate. I know I can’t. If it happens and I do grab a drink again, I’ll try my damndest to discipline myself and moderate. I like to think my willpower is strong enough to not get to that point but who knows. Keep on keepin’ on brother.
All I have to do is fast forward my mind to the hangover and repeat "that would be stupid. Why bother?" Being hangover-free and on a constant track of health restoration is unbeatable. Instead of degrading my mind and body, I'm now "recharging" it, getting better. Giving myself a better chance of a longer, happier, more fruitful life. I sometimes even knock myself for taking this long. "How could I have been so dumb?" is the feeling I get since I know I'm never going back again.
I stay sober because my life is better in every conceivable way since I quit drinking. ❤️❤️❤️
I have not wanted to drink for years before I was able to quit. What keeps me going is that I managed to quit and that was the hardest part. I don't want to have to do it again. I am lucky in that the only time I have ever been tempted to drink since quitting was once at a brew pub because I wanted to try their craft brews. It had nothing to do with wanting the alcohol part, it was only about wanting to taste the IPA and stout. But, like I say, I do not want to have to quit again. There is a chance I could do it and be fine, but a little taste of a good beer is not worth testing that. Once I got over the initial "should I? could I?" moment, and had the ginger ale, and the guy next to me was spending a full day's wage on his beers, the curiosity of the flavor of the beer was gone. I decided to just splurge on an expensive steak later that I normally would not pay for, but it give me the pleasure of tasting something special and extra good, without the danger of wanting to go back for seconds.
Life is tremendously better. I’d much rather do loving and caring things for my body and brain. Seeing my friends get sick and die or struggle with addiction is always a reminder of the thick web it spins. So, I fear getting caught in the web again. Drinking has completely lost its value for me as well. Even if I get a craving or think about having just one, my brain instantly reminds me of the long and short term consequences, and it's a very quick no.
I read "Alcohol Explained" and it breaks down what it's doing to you scientifically and it's literal poison. Made me realize what I was doing to myself and stopped. When I look at alcohol when I'm passing it by in the store, I feel nauseous because I remember all the times I threw up or had bad hangovers. That was enough for me to stop.
When I want to drink, I check in with myself and reliably realise that I'm hungry, tired, sad, frustrated etc. and remember that it **will** pass, probably quite quickly. I just want to drink because my brain apparently still considers it to be a valid self-soothing method. If I *do* drink, I know all I'm going to do is add a whole pile of regret and shame to whatever negative emotions I'm feeling, and very possibly end up spiralling. At social occasions/celebrations I'm not actually bothered - I'm generally in a good mood at those, alcohol isn't going to add anything. Though I do prefer it when there's NA beer available! Feels less isolating.
THC
When I decided to quit once and for all, it was about 5 days before my best friend’s landmark birthday party. I considered waiting a week but I had decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. So I went to the party, didn’t drink, had a great time and woke up without a hangover. It was that experience that made it stick, I think. Its a very personal decision, but I never avoided parties and social events after I stopped drinking, in fact I went to more of them than I did while I was drinking (when I drank, I sometimes got an early start and decided to skip the party) and had a better time than I did when I got drunk all the time. And my friends always had a designated driver they could count on. At this point for me, it’s not hard. I’m a person that doesn’t drink and it’s completely baked into to my identity.
I don't even remember what it feels like to drink with my friends. Today, I have zero friends who drink. After a while, I realized I had a little in common with people who like to hang out in bars and party. It's really not that great of a thing hahaha! What keeps me going? I prefer to be awake and aware. I am present. My health is near excellent for my age. I travel the world and I have friends in all places, and I can't even imagine what booze costs today! I have far better things to do with my money.
My wonderful girlfriend
I drank for 20 years. Im almost at 6 years. I don’t want to feel miserable like I was when I was drinking.
I have very fleeting moments of “wanting” a drink. But it doesn’t last and I don’t dwell. I am really much happier now than I ever was in my life before and drinking made things 100000x worse than necessary. Just happy to be here and just never want to go back to where I was before!
The first year and a half (at least) for me was all about getting used to being sober. Rediscovering who i am sober, what do i like sober and stuff like that. Creating new habits and new ways to interact with the ones i love. After time passed i managed to spend quality time with my friends and family without the crutch of alcohol. But i had to teach myself that it was possible and that took time. IWNDWYT
My life has gotten infinitely better since I quit drinking 5-1/2 years ago. I know myself. I can’t moderate. It’s all or nothing. I would lose everything if I went back to drinking as all the improvement in my life was only possible for me because I chose to quit. I’ve doubled my salary, have a job I mostly love, 2 beautiful children (3-1/2 year old girl and 5 month old boy) with my husband who stuck with me through it all (10 years together, 4 married), built a home on acreage, have a savings account, good health (still struggling a bit with my weight but at least it’s pregnancy and pizza weight, not from 3000 empty calories 4x a week)…literally, the list goes on and on… If it sounds like I’m bragging, I am! I did all this because I didn’t drink. Could never go back, especially with my children.
IWNDWYT
My kids, and fear of a hangover lol
At one point your sobriety, including everything many people in here have said as benefits, becomes a set of premium armor. I’ve gone from 0 to +2. I wouldn’t give this up for anything.
I realized I didn't need alcohol to have a good time and in fact, people I care about like me more when I'm not a loud drunk bafoon. The people who miss the bafoon make me suspicious, because they know what that cost me.
A sense of regret for all the potential and opportunities I squandered because of how I prioritized drinking over everything else.
For the first time in a long time, I like who I am. Why introduce Alcohol to throw off my mental health. Alcohol doesn't improve my life. Although it would be nice to have a drink every now and then, I know that one would probably be 2 which would turn to 10 pretty quick.
So mych great input here. Im still learning and hope i can get that far
21 months in and I feel better, make fewer bad decisions, am less reactive and am more frequently happy than at any time in life. I think I prefer this and would like it to continue for the few remaining days I have.
Seeing what alcohol continues to do to my loved ones is all the motivation I need. Shit has taken all it's going to take from me.
Spite
My life is so much better without alcohol, it’s a no brainer. I look fantastic, I’m sorting through things that have bothered me for decades that I never wanted to deal with and finding it incredibly healing. I have a lot of great non alcoholic drinks that I like, I don’t feel envy when other people drink. I never thought I’d be able to say that. I’m just so thankful to be in the place that I am in now. It’s beautiful.
My live has changed to the better, I have no urge to drink alc just because I'm in company. Well, there haden't been any social contacts left in the end. There are now, and all of them accepts, when I tell them "No alcohol for me!" The other thing is the knowledge that the stuff will kill me this time before I get the chance to stop again. And stopping last detox was hell, which I don't want to go through again.
I stay sober because I feel it would be too hard getting sober again.
I chose my husband over alcohol... Everyday I wake up thankful he's next to me still. It's reason enough to keep going
I’ve noticed a clear sliding in my behaviour too - not back towards wanting a drink, but doing all the harmful things I did while being drunk (eating bad food all the time, being super lazy / on my phone all the time etc). I’m trying to get back into doing things I did in my early sobriety, to remind me of the cold hard facts about this disease and also do some of things that made me really content & happy in the first few months (eg share in meetings, ring up other alcoholics to check in etc). I can see it having a good effect already. Good luck mate
Remembering why you quit.
It's no longer a part of my life, it's no longer something I think about. It's as if I have travelled back in time to when I was 12 and I had absolutely ZERO interest in drinking alcohol. Sounds odd, but that's how effective it has been to rewire my brain and subconscious. If you no longer WANT or LIKE alcohol it's simply not that hard.
Life is better in so many ways. I’m always present. I feel better. My family knows I’ll always be there for them. No hangovers. I’m proud of myself. When I see people drinking, they genuinely don’t seem like they are enjoying themselves. It’s more of habit than anything.
I know if I drink with friends, I will be right back to the shit I pulled myself out of. Maybe not that night, but eventually I know where I would end up. Fuck that. It's all or nothing, baby. IWNDWYT
I’m 20 months along. It helped me to listen to audiobooks and watch YouTube videos about the effects of alcohol. I came to understand how alcohol does nothing for me. I have mostly avoided big events but the few parties that I did go to, I brought my own drink (spindrift) or drank seltzer and water. Watching my friends drink and hearing about their hangovers just makes me feel like I am on the right path for not drinking. I’m thankful to also have a few sober friends who model how to have a good time without drinking. I also quit drinking and started a healthy diet at the same time. I lost a lot of weight and now I’m keeping it off for more than a year. I don’t want that progress undone. I’m happy with my new way of eating and enjoying my healthy body weight. Some of the best resources for me were: the books Nothing Good Can Come From This, This Naked Mind, Quit Like a Woman and Bright Line Eating. I like the YouTube channels of Sober Leon Bright Line Eating and Andrew Huberman. Hope they are helpful for you too.
Honestly, my daughter. There are loads of other reasons, myriad, but the one that pulls me the hardest when cravings happen (and they’re much less, much weaker, less frequent and briefer than ever now) is protecting her. She deserves a clean slate to start her life, and that means a mother who looks after her and herself.
I'm going through some difficulty right now that is hard enough without any of the drawbacks that alcohol has to offer - and that is putting it mildly. :) I'm more healthy - in better shape physically and mentally - more so than ever; my relationship with wife and kids is the best its been in years. Finances are more on track than ever - though that has been difficult from all the years of irresponsibility and complications unique to my situation. I'm just way better off without alcohol - even on my worst day... *especially* on my worst day! IWNDWYT Stay strong.
The longer you quit, the less you think about alcohol. I found around the 2 year mark, I rarely thought about alcohol. Now I'm just a non-drinker, it doesn't bother me like it once did when being social. Hang in there. Also from experience, those one off occasions, they always spiraled back to daily drink for me. Might not have been instantly back to daily drinking, but eventually it got there again. Sometimes it took, weeks, sometimes months... but it always ended up in the same result. I just know I can't drink. So why start again?
Thank you friend for sharing you experience I only have 16 days and many times i feel like want to drink with friends or alone, till I don’t have any thing that can replace alcohol! But according to many stories of guys I hope I will find one, so meanwhile IWNDWYT and tomorrow!
In my more than 2.5 years sober I've never woken up and thought I wished I would have drank last night. I continue to take it one day at a time and for the grace of God have been able to put some days together. Just for today I won't drink and smoke with you.