Imo, if we didn't live in in such a booze orientated culture these things would be quite different. Firstly, big social occasions wouldn't involve having to deal with drunks which make them a pain.
Secondly, we would have naturally kept and developed the ability to have fun and party without booze, relying on our own brain's release of natural endorphins. Sadly, we lost this/didn't develop it properly through the years of relying on booze to do it. And also because it is hard to develop and let happen when surrounded by annoying and erratic drunks.
This is totally me. I wish I could be that social person again, and maybe I can. I’m only 9 months in. But I find most socializing cringe, awkward and painful. I’d rather just be at home.
I’ve come to terms with it, if sobriety means I struggle socializing and being at gatherings, then so be it. I’d rather be here than the hot mess I was before.
Same, defo realised how introverted I actually am. I had a family garden party at the weekend and when leaving my cousin told my wife I was boring now I've stopped and it's her responsibility to get me drinking by time we have another party. I give zero shits about this, if anything this kind of chat makes me more stubborn not to drink but I do feel a bit more boring/bored. Almost at the 6 month mark.
This is exactly my experience. I need to honor what I’m comfortable doing or not doing to be sober. I’m a real ppl pleaser and feel horrible if someone (mostly adult kids) are annoyed or disappointed. In a way I’m a lot more laid back when drinking vs an awkward nervous wreck. The price is getting way too high.
I realized I’m actually not a completely boring introvert that’s socially awkward. I use alcohol in social situations to “warm up” but it’s actually not necessary. When I stopped drinking my social anxiety decreased as a baseline anyways.
I’m super introverted and very socially awkward. I always “needed” alcohol to meet new people.
For the first few months of sobriety, I did not do anything social at all because it gave me way too much anxiety. However, after I gave myself that grace period, I found that I was actually less anxious about having to meet/see people. I’ve gone to a few social events sober. I’m still awkward, I’m still weird, but I’m not quite as filled with fear about having to talk to people I don’t know well. It’s actually been kind of a nice surprise.
Congratulations! I’m more introverted than I thought. And more sensitive. That said, after years of sobriety, I do love to have fun, laugh, dance, tell jokes …and then go home early and read.
I like myself more than I thought I did, which is the best part for me. Like others have said, I like to think that I have a better sense of what I enjoy. I've gotten in to lots of new hobbies and have been working to rekindle hobbies of my youth. I socialize in the ways that I like, but also have a partner who helps me socialize more than I would otherwise, which I appreciate. Whether I'd have gotten to this point while still drinking or not, it would definitely be a different experience if I were drinking and I'm always grateful to myself to have stopped.
I do avoid gatherings of more people again now that I’m not drinking, but I’m okay with that. My close and meaningful relationships were the ones that I had with friends and family over intimate walks and coffee and dinners, anyway. I felt more social in a superficial way when using alcohol, but that wasn’t really me, deep down anyway.
I used to be confident. Not always, but I definitely had my moments. I could be witty, charismatic. At least I thought I so anyway.
After years of drinking all of that went away. I never felt confident. I was dull. Most days I was just doing enough to get through so I could drink again and feel normal.
A year sober and some days my confidence is higher than I ever remember it being. I think recovery, at least for me, is in part responsible for that.
My social skills could use some work but that's always been the case lol.
I do fine. I had one party I was at that I was really uncomfortable. They were friends of ours but not super close.
I am much better in my communication with my family. I was never a monster or anything. But I could get my feelings hurt a lot faster. Now I am more engaged and present and able to let things roll of my back.
I am quite extroverted (in and before sobriety), but I certainly found myself being much more honest and humble about what I dont know, or dont understand. Somehow sobriety gave me this permission to be powerless over things, and also courageous to “change the things i can” — my personality is just as extroverted, but now i tell the truth.
>I've found profound peace and joy simply being with myself and doing the things I like to do, as mundane as they might seem.
Yes! This is me. Im almost 500 days in, and one thing that I noticed is that I am learning how to prioritize myself. Its quite a process after all those years putting myself last, making decisions that harm myself in whatever way. Now I am greedy with myself as I noticed that due to my people pleasing I have aquired a selfish group of people that have been taking advantage of me. Its a sucky type of period from the socializing perspective but I see it as necessary to grow as a person. Im quite insecure as a result but also I notice how Im slowly finding strength and standing up for myself. Scary and rewarding at the same time!
Absolute same. And I’m learning the difference between things I enjoy doing vs things I’ll tolerate doing as an excuse to drink.
That last sentence is really profound.
Imo, if we didn't live in in such a booze orientated culture these things would be quite different. Firstly, big social occasions wouldn't involve having to deal with drunks which make them a pain. Secondly, we would have naturally kept and developed the ability to have fun and party without booze, relying on our own brain's release of natural endorphins. Sadly, we lost this/didn't develop it properly through the years of relying on booze to do it. And also because it is hard to develop and let happen when surrounded by annoying and erratic drunks.
This is totally me. I wish I could be that social person again, and maybe I can. I’m only 9 months in. But I find most socializing cringe, awkward and painful. I’d rather just be at home. I’ve come to terms with it, if sobriety means I struggle socializing and being at gatherings, then so be it. I’d rather be here than the hot mess I was before.
Absolutely. Id rather be a sober loner than an alcoholic social butterfly
Same, defo realised how introverted I actually am. I had a family garden party at the weekend and when leaving my cousin told my wife I was boring now I've stopped and it's her responsibility to get me drinking by time we have another party. I give zero shits about this, if anything this kind of chat makes me more stubborn not to drink but I do feel a bit more boring/bored. Almost at the 6 month mark.
This is exactly my experience. I need to honor what I’m comfortable doing or not doing to be sober. I’m a real ppl pleaser and feel horrible if someone (mostly adult kids) are annoyed or disappointed. In a way I’m a lot more laid back when drinking vs an awkward nervous wreck. The price is getting way too high.
I realized I’m actually not a completely boring introvert that’s socially awkward. I use alcohol in social situations to “warm up” but it’s actually not necessary. When I stopped drinking my social anxiety decreased as a baseline anyways.
I’m super introverted and very socially awkward. I always “needed” alcohol to meet new people. For the first few months of sobriety, I did not do anything social at all because it gave me way too much anxiety. However, after I gave myself that grace period, I found that I was actually less anxious about having to meet/see people. I’ve gone to a few social events sober. I’m still awkward, I’m still weird, but I’m not quite as filled with fear about having to talk to people I don’t know well. It’s actually been kind of a nice surprise.
Congratulations! I’m more introverted than I thought. And more sensitive. That said, after years of sobriety, I do love to have fun, laugh, dance, tell jokes …and then go home early and read.
I like myself more than I thought I did, which is the best part for me. Like others have said, I like to think that I have a better sense of what I enjoy. I've gotten in to lots of new hobbies and have been working to rekindle hobbies of my youth. I socialize in the ways that I like, but also have a partner who helps me socialize more than I would otherwise, which I appreciate. Whether I'd have gotten to this point while still drinking or not, it would definitely be a different experience if I were drinking and I'm always grateful to myself to have stopped.
I do avoid gatherings of more people again now that I’m not drinking, but I’m okay with that. My close and meaningful relationships were the ones that I had with friends and family over intimate walks and coffee and dinners, anyway. I felt more social in a superficial way when using alcohol, but that wasn’t really me, deep down anyway.
I used to be confident. Not always, but I definitely had my moments. I could be witty, charismatic. At least I thought I so anyway. After years of drinking all of that went away. I never felt confident. I was dull. Most days I was just doing enough to get through so I could drink again and feel normal. A year sober and some days my confidence is higher than I ever remember it being. I think recovery, at least for me, is in part responsible for that. My social skills could use some work but that's always been the case lol.
I do fine. I had one party I was at that I was really uncomfortable. They were friends of ours but not super close. I am much better in my communication with my family. I was never a monster or anything. But I could get my feelings hurt a lot faster. Now I am more engaged and present and able to let things roll of my back.
I am quite extroverted (in and before sobriety), but I certainly found myself being much more honest and humble about what I dont know, or dont understand. Somehow sobriety gave me this permission to be powerless over things, and also courageous to “change the things i can” — my personality is just as extroverted, but now i tell the truth.
sobriety led me to positive changes in personality and social skills, enhance meaningful relationships and overall well-being..all the best!
>I've found profound peace and joy simply being with myself and doing the things I like to do, as mundane as they might seem. Yes! This is me. Im almost 500 days in, and one thing that I noticed is that I am learning how to prioritize myself. Its quite a process after all those years putting myself last, making decisions that harm myself in whatever way. Now I am greedy with myself as I noticed that due to my people pleasing I have aquired a selfish group of people that have been taking advantage of me. Its a sucky type of period from the socializing perspective but I see it as necessary to grow as a person. Im quite insecure as a result but also I notice how Im slowly finding strength and standing up for myself. Scary and rewarding at the same time!