I started to give that voice a name. Once it rears its ugly head and tells me "it'll be okay, just have one or two"...I tell Brutus to shut the hell up and let me live the life I'm trying to live.
Cunning, baffling, powerful indeed. My sponsor also adds *patient* to that list. Alcohol is insidious.
Totally agree that relapse happens first in the mind. I caught myself about a month ago starting that familiar thought pattern. For me, it was not being grateful for what I have in my life. Thinking with envy about what others have that I don’t.
Thankfully, that was a Monday. I have meetings and counseling after work Tuesday-Saturday, so by the end of the week, I had a better grip on my thoughts, but only then did I realize I was dipping my toes into relapse territory earlier in the week.
Insidious, sneaky demon. I can quiet the screams after not feeding it for a few weeks, but the kind and gentle whispers after a couple months are far more dangerous, for me.
Good luck and hope you can find a meeting you jive with.
I definitely had that my last relapse. Was doing so good and not even that tempted. Had a hard life moment thing unrelated to drinking and my brain just knew it was going to drink later without a doubt.
When you can feel your thoughts shift to looking for an excuse to drink. When you see a situation and think this is a good reason to drink. When deep down you think hmm when I tell this story everyone will say wow you were justified in drinking. That is the trap I have to watch out for
Ah same!!! A lot of my worst blackouts & vomiting happened while PMS was in full-swing. Took me a lil while to notice that. Maintaining awareness really is key
I’ve only been to one or two women’s meetings and I enjoyed them.
Yeah, I remember it’s like a bargain or even just being easily defeated by that bastard voice that says, “Oh, who cares anyway?” We’ve got good support here. Keep going 🤘
The number of times I told myself "it's ok, I can just have one or two, it'll be different this time" is absolutely absurd
I started to give that voice a name. Once it rears its ugly head and tells me "it'll be okay, just have one or two"...I tell Brutus to shut the hell up and let me live the life I'm trying to live.
Cunning, baffling, powerful indeed. My sponsor also adds *patient* to that list. Alcohol is insidious. Totally agree that relapse happens first in the mind. I caught myself about a month ago starting that familiar thought pattern. For me, it was not being grateful for what I have in my life. Thinking with envy about what others have that I don’t. Thankfully, that was a Monday. I have meetings and counseling after work Tuesday-Saturday, so by the end of the week, I had a better grip on my thoughts, but only then did I realize I was dipping my toes into relapse territory earlier in the week. Insidious, sneaky demon. I can quiet the screams after not feeding it for a few weeks, but the kind and gentle whispers after a couple months are far more dangerous, for me. Good luck and hope you can find a meeting you jive with.
Hmmmmm the envy is definitely something to think about. Thank you!
I hate that shift too. Started feeling it several weeks before I relapsed recently
I definitely had that my last relapse. Was doing so good and not even that tempted. Had a hard life moment thing unrelated to drinking and my brain just knew it was going to drink later without a doubt.
When you can feel your thoughts shift to looking for an excuse to drink. When you see a situation and think this is a good reason to drink. When deep down you think hmm when I tell this story everyone will say wow you were justified in drinking. That is the trap I have to watch out for
I’ve notice that my urge to drink really ramps up around my period, I get into a fuck it all mentality. So weird and trying to be aware of it
Ah same!!! A lot of my worst blackouts & vomiting happened while PMS was in full-swing. Took me a lil while to notice that. Maintaining awareness really is key
I’ve only been to one or two women’s meetings and I enjoyed them. Yeah, I remember it’s like a bargain or even just being easily defeated by that bastard voice that says, “Oh, who cares anyway?” We’ve got good support here. Keep going 🤘