For me it was always Chopped. Like there's 10 minutes on the clock and THEN someone goes for the ice cream machine!?! I'm getting hard just thinking about it.
In regards to porn, it all depends person to person. Do you find you can't get it up for your SO because you just got done watching porn? Do you run late for work because you just need 5 more minutes and then 5 more minutes after that? Yeah, you have a problem.
If it's not invasive to your relationship and you are honest, then that is a personal choice. Just make sure you are with someone that doesn't mind.
It's super odd to me that all the sudden there seems to be an uptick in people who are too uptight about it. But that doesn't mean there aren't porn addicts that have problems.
It's the same with all behaviors that don't have a physical addiction component. If it's something you do that you enjoy and doesn't harm anyone, then it's fine. If it's something you feel compelled to do, that you have regret about later and you have shame attached, then you probably have an addiction problem with it.
There are certain activities that are designed to elicit a specific biological response, like watching porn, eating, playing video games, being on social media, extreme sports, etc, that people should be extra mindful that they don't feel dependent on. But I've read stories of people who were addicted to buying movie DVDs or watching pro wrestling so it really can be any behavior if there is a compulsion to it.
I know people who were addicted to the high of opening booster packs of magic cards lmao. Blew so much money on cards when they didn't even have time to play with them all and didn't sell any.
I'm not a collector in general, but it would always blow my mind to people who collected things that are meant to be played with but NEVER actually played with them. It's the Will Ferrell in the Lego Movie thing; this seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose.
Also, speaking of addiction to collection, it reminds me of when a woman and her husband murdered her parents because they had a crippling addiction [to collecting movie memorabilia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_William_and_Patricia_Wycherley). Yes, some activities are more prone to addiction than others, but it really demonstrates that the problem is mental health and not surface-level addiction.
I think it is part of a broader anti-sex backlash coming from places where we usually have the opposite (younger people who are not necessarily conservative or religious). When I was growing up in the 1980s there was a similar shift coming out of the more promiscuous 60s and 70s, and as AIDS became something that straight people started to fear, too, attitudes shifted that way. Not sure if it is a natural cultural ebb and flow or in this case it is a backlash to how prevalent casual sex got with apps for a while.
I've been trying to figure out where this came from. So it's one of two things. Either back in the late '90s and early 2000s. I was just in a completely different group than the average person. Street races, clubs, different women on a weekly basis. That seemed normal to me and my group of friends. Now maybe there were a bunch of other people just like these no sex internet types today I just never noticed.
But it doesn't seem like that's really it. It seems like there's this anti-sex movement from the people with mental health challenges, anxiety, lack of self-esteem. It's like they aren't doing well with the opposite sex so they have decided they just don't like it and now that they don't like it anything to do with it is just gross. I was reading some stats and something like a third of people in their '20s aren't even dating. 20 years ago it was probably more like a third of people who were 15 weren't even dating 😂
Like I would be fine with it if they didn't do this anti-sex crusade thing.
There are just some people who vocally identify as being asexual/aromantic. There have always been people like this, for a variety of reasons, but now they have an echo chamber to encourage each other on social media. It's very much en vogue to publicly identify with it, rather than be ashamed of it. This is probably a good thing, if it's a genuine choice.
Aro/ace is just the furries of the 2020s.
I honestly think younger people are just extremely insecure, so it's some kind of defense mechanism. They act like sex is dirty, wrong, or whatever nonsense they projected to hide their insecurities.
With the rise of social media like Instagram where hundreds of millions of women are posting heavily filtered thirst traps constantly, I can't imagine why teens are growing more insecure. /S
I don’t think it’s fair to say someone has a porn addiction if they can’t get it up for their partner because they just got done watching porn. Both men and women (though it’s more of an issue for men) reach a point where they can no longer become erect due to having recently orgasmed. You would even have been with your SO 10 seconds ago, they want another round but you can’t get it up for a little while longer.
It’s more of an issue if you haven’t recently watched lorn but still can’t get it up with your SO because porn has warped your mind and sex drive too much.
To be even more fair, I think people often fail to consider that keeping a sexual spark alive takes a little effort. You have to be creative to keep it engaging. However, for many, it will never be as fierce as the beginning of the relationship, and that is okay.
Porn often offers novel experiences that make it easy for you to get aroused if that is what does it for you.
Yeah and for the most part, people don’t treat porn actors the same as regular actors in the sense that they see everything they produce on opening night. I’ve probably seen all or nearly all of Tom Cruise’s movies but I can’t name a single porn star I know purely from watching their stuff (some people I know are porn starts because they are famous famous and not just porn famous. Like Rachel from Boy Meets World.) so you really don’t create the same sort of bond you would in a relationship. Porn and erotica are also ‘glamorized’ the same way romance movies are. You are both always ready to go, always clean and tidied up, no kids or roommates, girl is always extremely wet and guy incredibly hard.
As long as you know it’s a fantasy then it’s fine, if you start thinking that is a realistic standard for your sexual/romantic partner then that is a problem.
I think this is something that varies greatly and many people do have a favorite actress whom they follow across films, and people whom they easily recognize. As I have no way of knowing I can’t say “most.”
I think it's more if you know you're going to see your SO/get it on but you still feel compelled to rub one out beforehand. If you're foregoing your actual sex life for porn, there's a problem
Thank you for this comment lol. Was just going to say...it appears that most people here read only half the question. Lots of ADHD and self-centered commenters here.
Yuppp. People writing out a full comment based on whatever scenario they assumed after reading three words, not even making it through the first sentence before judging
Wdum by lots of adhd and self centered coments. The adhd part is just confusing me a bit because I don’t think this many people would just happen to have adhd.
They don't actually mean ADHD, they're just saying it to refer to people with short attention spans in the same way people often use OCD to refer to people who like being neat. Very reductionist attitude that isn't helpful in the slightest.
Yeah that’s weird then. People do realise adhd isn’t not reading questions, right?
I really hope this doesn’t turn into an “I’m so ocd” thing. I’ve seen this use of adhd in tik tok mostly. I sweat that app makes people brain dead towards disorders. 😂
I put off getting diagnosed until 43 because I bought into the "everyone's a little add" bullshit.
Turns out I have a pretty severe case of a neurological condition that can't be properly managed without medication.
We are both happy, and although she's kinky af, external things like work, and other issues, they don't always allow us the intimate/fun times we want.
Porn keeps us satisfied, whilst helping us understand our own sexual interests and sharing them with each other.
We have both changed so much since we first got together, and it's a shared benefit.
Lol I’m in my 40s, growing up almost all of us knew where our fathers’ porn stashes were. Playboy, hustler, various other mags and videos were huge business.
Let’s not act like this is some new phenomena; lol.
I’m not saying all porn is new. I’m saying that access to every kind of porn imaginable on planet earth is status quo for younger people. As you said, you looked for “stashes”. No longer necessary.
Yeah, I’ll give you that, it is more accessible. But I don’t think its necessarily changed volume of people looking at porn; its always been prevalent.
And let’s not forget, you used to be able to buy porno mags in gas stations and grocery stores; it wasn’t like it was exactly hard to come by.
It was if you were under 18. I think that's the biggest difference. My Dad didn't have a stash (believe me, I looked, lol). I don't even know what percentage of people's Dads had that stash. It would be a dangerous game to have a large stash of physical porn when married.
I don’t know what you mean. I’m literally telling you where I grew up (the definition of midwest middle america), in school, anyone who wanted porn could get it.
Between fathers’ stashes, older siblings, stealing it from grocery stores and gas stations and the fact cable channels literally played it (remember skin-imax?) it wasn’t hard at all to come by.
Now, definitely easier today, but my point was that porn prevalence isn’t something new; it has been big business and easy to get for decades.
The average age to start porn usage used to be 13/14+. Now it's 8/9+. Kids brain development is being shaped by porn. Looking at a playboy is also way different from being able to watch the grittiest, nastiest stuff on a whim any time you want.
I get what you're saying, but I don't think that's a nice smooth curve. The Internet gained tons of traction in the 90s; 30 years ago. You could have been 20 back then (50 now) and it could be almost or just as normal to you as someone who is currently 20-30.
Good point. I would bet (again, not saying I know) that the sheer volume and variety has gone up exponentially since the beginning of the internet though.
Honestly when i find someone i actually love, i tend to get myself addicted to them meaning there isnt anything anyone else has that could make me uninterested in what i got
Is this really something people experience? Not that I'm doubting you or anything but it just surprises me people would be less attracted to other people when they date someone cus I've never experienced that.
Im this way as a woman. I'm with someone currently, and no man or woman can ever take my eyes away. I don't find anyone else attractive, no one else arouses me, nothing satisfies me unless it's him.
I get around my boyfriends family, and his mom and sister will try to get me to agree with them that someone from the general public is hot. I have to tell them "I'm sorry. I can't help you. I only have eyes for (boyfriends name). No one else is attractive." The sister will complain and try to get me to agree, the mom will be like, "really? Don't you have eyes?" And I reply "yes, for your son." And then she'll kind of grimace at me and move on. Like, aren't you happy someone only has eyes for your son?? It makes me feel out of place and confused.
If I don't like anyone, I can feel lust for women on looks alone. But if I like someone, it overrides it.
Even when I was addicted to porn, having a crush on someone would prevent me from enjoying it. It's it a random person and there's no vibe there. It's not arousing.
I expereince this! Been with my man for almost 8 years. I'm unable to feel sexual attraction to a person unless there are more intimate feelings involved. Even before my partner and I met, I still never partook in one night stands or friends with benefits or anything of the sort.
That’s me! It probably has something to do with the demisexuality. I am not sexually attracted to random people I see. I can appreciate a good looking man, but a photo of Jake Gyllenhaal doesn’t get my motor going. But when I’ve actually established an emotional connection with someone? Hot damn, let’s knock the boots!
I have a fiance. Literally no sexual interest in anyone else. Nothing beyond “Oh, that’s a pretty man. I enjoy looking at his face, much like I enjoy looking at paintings at the Met.”
When I’m in love, I don’t find other men attractive. Or like, I can see why they’re attractive but I don’t connect with it. I truly only have eyes for the one I love. I guess other people aren’t like that, but it’s always held true for me.
For me it isn't that I find someone else less attractive, just that someone else is already fulfilling everything I would want. I just don't LOOK for other women and my eyes kind of skim over them. Like a priority change more than anything.
In my experience, I get a sort of emotional tunnel vision early on. When I'm interested in someone I'm only interested in them from the early crush phase through the early relationship honeymoon.
It's worse. I become less attracted to other people because I became attracted to someone. I'm not dating my neighbor, but because I have a crush on her, I have no eyes for anyone else. I have to fully murder those feelings inside myself in order to move on and 'see' someone else as attractive.
Yes. I got infatuated with a girl I was seeing a couple years ago and I basically did nofap for like 3 weeks without even trying. I just didn't want to. It was weird. We never even had sex.
I can back up this data point and say that’s me too. It’s only really bad if you end up falling for someone who is bad for you, while there are plenty of other non toxic options that are receptive but you ignore them because you’re so fixated. I’ve also definitely seen and heard women do this too
Had a crush on a girl for a year. She was the only one I thought about all the time, We were friends and she knew how much i liked her but didn't feel the same. I knew I was wasting my time and nothing could happen. Took me getting a new job and breaking off the friendship to get over her.
I travel for work, I’m single but all the guys I work with are married with kids and as soon as they hit the road they are constantly cheating on their wives, it makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. I don’t know how men can just do that and act normal you know? How sad
It would turn into “Extremely Monogamous TM” in a heartbeat if we actually talked about it.
Everyone knows real good people never describe themselves in plain verbal language.
That’s very fair, I can’t remember the quote I heard once but it was essentially the same. Something about how the best interesting stories are the ones often not told because they aren’t “dramatic” enough
I am, but I don't expect a medal for it. Porn and thirst traps do nothing for me because I'm a demisexual. I don't feel sexual attraction without a very strong emotional connection to the woman in question. I could sit in a strip club all night and feel nothing but boredom.
I don't know what the average guy goes through in managing attraction. I wasn't even attracted to my wife until she'd already been my best friend for several years. I know that's not normal. It's just the way I am.
I often get upvoted when I mention being on the asexual spectrum, so I imagine there are a fair number of Redditors who are also asexual to varying degrees. Couldn't tell you what the percentages are, though, or how well they represent the real world.
This, well articulated. Especially the "I dont know what the average guy goes through", Ive often felt broken because of how my peers viewed sex, partners, and relationships until I realized there was a word for it and it just a different type of existence
Me. I don’t hate on porn or anything like that, but truly, my GF is all I need. It’s taken years for her to slowly believe me when I say I don’t even see other women. I don’t care to. I think she’s the hottest woman I’ve literally ever seen.
I would never cheat on my wife emotionally or physically. In pur mid 30s been together since 17. I feel like that's about as monogamous as it gets. I will say I strayed away in my early 20s, thinking maybe the grass was greener... it wasn't, but that period of time did help me figure out what I was looking for, and it was my wife the whole time. Since the day I gave her the engagement ring, the thought of cheating doesn't even cross my mind. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about being physically or emotionally intimate with someone else.
Yes, some porn here and there, but we watch it together and are both comfortable with us doing that .
I am. After I met my girlfriend I haven’t watched porn since. I don’t do much social media but even if I did I wouldn’t be following other women. Also, when in public I’m never checking out other women. I love my GF and she is all I want and need.
It doesn’t! Every relationship is different and if you and your partner both agree then hell yeah more power to you! I’m just curious how many men actually do refrain from that type of content (when it’s a specified boundary)
If it’s not a boundary and they do partake in the consumption of porn, would that person still in your eyes be able to answer this post and be considered extremely monogamous?
I'm' completely satisfied with just my partner. I don't want anyone else.
Masturbation/porn/thirst traps are something else. I disagree that any of that means I'm "not satisfied with JUST my partner".
I watch porn but its more for the sound than the people. I have a few videos of my wife and I that I turn to more often than not. When I dream about having sex with someone that someone is my wife. Sometimes I have 3some dreams and the three some is me, my wife, and my wife.
I sometimes watch porn. When I watch porn it is usually home videos I have made of me fucking my wife or of my wife pleasuring herself. When I watch porn that isn't of said homemade variety it is more for the sound than for the video. As in I will often close my eyes and picture my wife but my brain is not good at creating fake sounds in my imagination.
Relatedly, when I have sex related dreams the person I am having sex with is my wife. Sometimes I have sex related dreams where I am having a 3some. In those 3some dreams the male in the MFF threesome is me and the two females are both my wife. To be wildy explicit, sometimes I dream my wife is both grinding her clit into my face and bouncing on my erect penis reverse-cowgirl style.
I love my wife and find her very sexy.
I’m monogamous and I would never cheat. I do watch porn and I still think other women are attractive. I don’t care if my partner watches porn or finds other people attractive either. We’re human. That’s why there is trust and boundaries though
I don’t consider porn to be non-monogamous. Neither is feeling attraction to others. But I don’t flirt or entertain any romantic relationships outside of my marriage.
My wife watches porn too. It’s just video. Much like watching action movies isn’t committing acts of violence.
We are biologically programed to like the opposite sex. We can like the attention, we can look a naughty things, but the important thing is impulse control. You can read body languages easily. If a woman not your wife is into you just don't do anything. Women are expensive and cheating is expensive. Most men have limited time, finances, and energy.
Most people don't want to lose everything they've built for some ass. Porn, is an alternative because we would like to say we get it when ever we want to but that's not the case. Most women have to be romanced into bed. You can't romance them every day or neglect your kids or job. Best thing to do is relish when I woman throws themselves at you and think "I still got it."
Yeah this sums up my thoughts. I’m surprised to hear how many men are claiming they don’t feel the impulse at all. I’m not sure 200 thousand years of evolution can be so quickly overcome by cultural norms so as to actually eliminate the biological response.
My wife and I often talk about how attractive other people can be. But we both are secure enough in our own marriage to not even question whether the other would act on impulse when we’ve both worked hard to build a life together.
But noticing that someone is hot (the biological response part) is so far from actually cheating with them. You can just notice that and talk about it, but then the rest of your brain should kick in.
Sure lol, just silly in the broad sense cuz anyone can just keep lowering the bar for cheating.
I could say women using dildos and/or reading erotic novels are cheating as well, no one can tell me I'm wrong since its subjective but its still a silly statement.
As a man, can confirm that watching porn does not mean that one is in anyway dissatisfied with their partner. Watching porn often has nothing to do with one's satisfaction and/or lack thereof. OP must be a woman.
pictures have always done nothing for me
and ontop of working in clubs/strip clubs i have seen more vagina and tits than most dudes just finding out about free porn
the last 3 relationships i was in my gf's were far far more addicted to porn and wanting pictures from me
alot of men are suppressed i probably wouldn't be this way if i actually received real affection from women vs getting thrown a vagina at
i met 3 women over the past 3-4 months and all wanted to hookup couldnt even get hard and they all have a melt down in some way even when i said i really need some form of emotional connection for this to work
i already know this but it still surprises me how many women never get told no on sex or even someone not \*being turned on by them\*
In the strictest sense I'd say you have to be an asexual (in the physiological sense) romantic to do that, at least in the medium to long run.
What's a thirst trap though?
What's etc? This isn't a good question. Anyway, the answer is none. Every man masturbates, unless they have serious issues, whether to porn, their own imagination, or especially colorful sunsets.
Surprisingly, my husband- I’ve accidentally “caught” him before and he was caught red handed watching videos of us. He has a whole album and uses that instead of porn, which is nice. I don’t mind porn though and we do watch it together sometimes if I suggest it. Obviously I’m not him so I can’t 1000% say, but he is not a thirst trap/social media type guy. We have a very happy sex life ~ still early on though, married 4 years with two young kids.
I am, I always have been.
There's something to being with a person that's a bond that kinda should have a boundary of monogamy shouldn't it? I was raised to not just have sex with just anyone....it's kinda not a handshake.
Three years porn free, much more in control of myself sexually and much more attracted to my wife as a result. If you make a mental decision to commit your mind and body to someone, and limit what else you let yourself see, you’d be surprised how powerfully bonded you can be to them.
Lol at everyone in the comments ignoring the porn part of OPs question.
💀💀 That's why I'm not saying shit
Right... Any why only Porn? Why not include romantic movies as well? Cooking programs?
If you jerk it to the great British baking show that’s cool for you, but I think you need to acknowledge it’s a little unusual.
Hey, it's only when Paul gives out handshakes.
Bit stodgy, that
For me it was always Chopped. Like there's 10 minutes on the clock and THEN someone goes for the ice cream machine!?! I'm getting hard just thinking about it.
Now I wanna see a show where Gordon Ramsey rates and screams at boners.
When “you’re a donkey!” Goes from criticism to praise
As long as he's not making cream filled pastries
You never did an American Pie?
Look at the shine on that ganache! Uhhhg!
they do have cooking with porn stars.
let her cook
My partner is totally cool with not even looking at the tv if I tell her its a cooking show
Seriously? What is it they cook? Is it just the stars or is it porn videos that doubles as a cooking show?
I don’t even know what a thirst trap is.
I had to look it up too. I’m 47 so…..
For sure its the Pepsi ad, looks so delicious in the tv, but when you drink it it only makes you more thirsty, right?
44 here. Must be a newer term.
In regards to porn, it all depends person to person. Do you find you can't get it up for your SO because you just got done watching porn? Do you run late for work because you just need 5 more minutes and then 5 more minutes after that? Yeah, you have a problem. If it's not invasive to your relationship and you are honest, then that is a personal choice. Just make sure you are with someone that doesn't mind. It's super odd to me that all the sudden there seems to be an uptick in people who are too uptight about it. But that doesn't mean there aren't porn addicts that have problems.
It's the same with all behaviors that don't have a physical addiction component. If it's something you do that you enjoy and doesn't harm anyone, then it's fine. If it's something you feel compelled to do, that you have regret about later and you have shame attached, then you probably have an addiction problem with it. There are certain activities that are designed to elicit a specific biological response, like watching porn, eating, playing video games, being on social media, extreme sports, etc, that people should be extra mindful that they don't feel dependent on. But I've read stories of people who were addicted to buying movie DVDs or watching pro wrestling so it really can be any behavior if there is a compulsion to it.
I know people who were addicted to the high of opening booster packs of magic cards lmao. Blew so much money on cards when they didn't even have time to play with them all and didn't sell any.
I'm not a collector in general, but it would always blow my mind to people who collected things that are meant to be played with but NEVER actually played with them. It's the Will Ferrell in the Lego Movie thing; this seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose. Also, speaking of addiction to collection, it reminds me of when a woman and her husband murdered her parents because they had a crippling addiction [to collecting movie memorabilia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_William_and_Patricia_Wycherley). Yes, some activities are more prone to addiction than others, but it really demonstrates that the problem is mental health and not surface-level addiction.
I think it is part of a broader anti-sex backlash coming from places where we usually have the opposite (younger people who are not necessarily conservative or religious). When I was growing up in the 1980s there was a similar shift coming out of the more promiscuous 60s and 70s, and as AIDS became something that straight people started to fear, too, attitudes shifted that way. Not sure if it is a natural cultural ebb and flow or in this case it is a backlash to how prevalent casual sex got with apps for a while.
I've been trying to figure out where this came from. So it's one of two things. Either back in the late '90s and early 2000s. I was just in a completely different group than the average person. Street races, clubs, different women on a weekly basis. That seemed normal to me and my group of friends. Now maybe there were a bunch of other people just like these no sex internet types today I just never noticed. But it doesn't seem like that's really it. It seems like there's this anti-sex movement from the people with mental health challenges, anxiety, lack of self-esteem. It's like they aren't doing well with the opposite sex so they have decided they just don't like it and now that they don't like it anything to do with it is just gross. I was reading some stats and something like a third of people in their '20s aren't even dating. 20 years ago it was probably more like a third of people who were 15 weren't even dating 😂 Like I would be fine with it if they didn't do this anti-sex crusade thing.
There are just some people who vocally identify as being asexual/aromantic. There have always been people like this, for a variety of reasons, but now they have an echo chamber to encourage each other on social media. It's very much en vogue to publicly identify with it, rather than be ashamed of it. This is probably a good thing, if it's a genuine choice. Aro/ace is just the furries of the 2020s.
I honestly think younger people are just extremely insecure, so it's some kind of defense mechanism. They act like sex is dirty, wrong, or whatever nonsense they projected to hide their insecurities.
With the rise of social media like Instagram where hundreds of millions of women are posting heavily filtered thirst traps constantly, I can't imagine why teens are growing more insecure. /S
I'm not anti-sex. I just think porn and thirst traps count as cheating.
“Porn is like snacks, you can have as many as you want, but if they stop you from enjoying your meal, you have a problem”
I don’t think it’s fair to say someone has a porn addiction if they can’t get it up for their partner because they just got done watching porn. Both men and women (though it’s more of an issue for men) reach a point where they can no longer become erect due to having recently orgasmed. You would even have been with your SO 10 seconds ago, they want another round but you can’t get it up for a little while longer. It’s more of an issue if you haven’t recently watched lorn but still can’t get it up with your SO because porn has warped your mind and sex drive too much.
To be even more fair, I think people often fail to consider that keeping a sexual spark alive takes a little effort. You have to be creative to keep it engaging. However, for many, it will never be as fierce as the beginning of the relationship, and that is okay. Porn often offers novel experiences that make it easy for you to get aroused if that is what does it for you.
Yeah and for the most part, people don’t treat porn actors the same as regular actors in the sense that they see everything they produce on opening night. I’ve probably seen all or nearly all of Tom Cruise’s movies but I can’t name a single porn star I know purely from watching their stuff (some people I know are porn starts because they are famous famous and not just porn famous. Like Rachel from Boy Meets World.) so you really don’t create the same sort of bond you would in a relationship. Porn and erotica are also ‘glamorized’ the same way romance movies are. You are both always ready to go, always clean and tidied up, no kids or roommates, girl is always extremely wet and guy incredibly hard. As long as you know it’s a fantasy then it’s fine, if you start thinking that is a realistic standard for your sexual/romantic partner then that is a problem.
I think this is something that varies greatly and many people do have a favorite actress whom they follow across films, and people whom they easily recognize. As I have no way of knowing I can’t say “most.”
I think it's more if you know you're going to see your SO/get it on but you still feel compelled to rub one out beforehand. If you're foregoing your actual sex life for porn, there's a problem
People are really trying to sidestep the porn part.
Solution: Enjoy the porn with your partner Step 2: ????? Step 3: Profit
Step 1: make porn WITH your partner Step 2: profit
[удалено]
Thank you for this comment lol. Was just going to say...it appears that most people here read only half the question. Lots of ADHD and self-centered commenters here.
Yuppp. People writing out a full comment based on whatever scenario they assumed after reading three words, not even making it through the first sentence before judging
Wdum by lots of adhd and self centered coments. The adhd part is just confusing me a bit because I don’t think this many people would just happen to have adhd.
They don't actually mean ADHD, they're just saying it to refer to people with short attention spans in the same way people often use OCD to refer to people who like being neat. Very reductionist attitude that isn't helpful in the slightest.
Yeah that’s weird then. People do realise adhd isn’t not reading questions, right? I really hope this doesn’t turn into an “I’m so ocd” thing. I’ve seen this use of adhd in tik tok mostly. I sweat that app makes people brain dead towards disorders. 😂
I swear, to some people, ADHD is just another way of saying 'absent-minded '
These people have never actually read a single article on adhd have they, let alone the DSM.
I put off getting diagnosed until 43 because I bought into the "everyone's a little add" bullshit. Turns out I have a pretty severe case of a neurological condition that can't be properly managed without medication.
Been together 11 years, I watch porn, she reads bang books, to each their own.
Bang books?
It's a dark path, most don't come back from
I’m not surprised he never told you. It’s not a story the Jedi would share with you . . .
Erotica
Dont sugar coat it... Smut.
Flick flics
[удалено]
Remember when you were a kid. Moms “romance” books?
Bodice rippers
BANG BROSSSS.
Sweet summer child.
Works for my wife and me. Sounds healthy and normal imo.
We are both happy, and although she's kinky af, external things like work, and other issues, they don't always allow us the intimate/fun times we want. Porn keeps us satisfied, whilst helping us understand our own sexual interests and sharing them with each other. We have both changed so much since we first got together, and it's a shared benefit.
Me and my wife call those books boddess rippers.
Porn has nothing to do with not being satisfied with your partner, what the hell yo?
It is an interesting question to pose though..
Maybe that's just her preference yo.
Me. Been married for almost 32 years. She’s all I need. All i want.
I also choose this guy's living wife.
Not his dead wife?
Yeah shes pretty great. I dont need anyone else either.
I choose this guys wife too.
This dudes wife checks his post history
Hahaha this right here!
Yay more porn for me
You’re sweet
Quite a lot, and I'm betting the bulk of that demographic isn't on reddit
All those men don't watch porn at all?
I would bet that the younger you are (hence, easiest and earliest access to internet porn) the more likely you are to watch porn on the reg.
Lol I’m in my 40s, growing up almost all of us knew where our fathers’ porn stashes were. Playboy, hustler, various other mags and videos were huge business. Let’s not act like this is some new phenomena; lol.
I’m not saying all porn is new. I’m saying that access to every kind of porn imaginable on planet earth is status quo for younger people. As you said, you looked for “stashes”. No longer necessary.
Yeah, I’ll give you that, it is more accessible. But I don’t think its necessarily changed volume of people looking at porn; its always been prevalent. And let’s not forget, you used to be able to buy porno mags in gas stations and grocery stores; it wasn’t like it was exactly hard to come by.
Hard to cum to*
It was if you were under 18. I think that's the biggest difference. My Dad didn't have a stash (believe me, I looked, lol). I don't even know what percentage of people's Dads had that stash. It would be a dangerous game to have a large stash of physical porn when married.
I don’t know what you mean. I’m literally telling you where I grew up (the definition of midwest middle america), in school, anyone who wanted porn could get it. Between fathers’ stashes, older siblings, stealing it from grocery stores and gas stations and the fact cable channels literally played it (remember skin-imax?) it wasn’t hard at all to come by. Now, definitely easier today, but my point was that porn prevalence isn’t something new; it has been big business and easy to get for decades.
The average age to start porn usage used to be 13/14+. Now it's 8/9+. Kids brain development is being shaped by porn. Looking at a playboy is also way different from being able to watch the grittiest, nastiest stuff on a whim any time you want.
100 per cent
Uh, the Internet didn't invent porn. Us olds just used to get magazines and videos.
I get what you're saying, but I don't think that's a nice smooth curve. The Internet gained tons of traction in the 90s; 30 years ago. You could have been 20 back then (50 now) and it could be almost or just as normal to you as someone who is currently 20-30.
Good point. I would bet (again, not saying I know) that the sheer volume and variety has gone up exponentially since the beginning of the internet though.
I thought I wasn’t until I fell deeply and hard in love, when that happened I couldn’t even do porn anymore
Honestly when i find someone i actually love, i tend to get myself addicted to them meaning there isnt anything anyone else has that could make me uninterested in what i got
This is so sweet 🥹
Married almost 20 years. She is awesome.
When I'm into someone, I stop being attracted to other women. It sucks tbh. I end up fixating on a crush when I should be keeping my options open.
Is this really something people experience? Not that I'm doubting you or anything but it just surprises me people would be less attracted to other people when they date someone cus I've never experienced that.
Im this way as a woman. I'm with someone currently, and no man or woman can ever take my eyes away. I don't find anyone else attractive, no one else arouses me, nothing satisfies me unless it's him.
Same here. It's like that part of my brain just naturally shuts down.
I get around my boyfriends family, and his mom and sister will try to get me to agree with them that someone from the general public is hot. I have to tell them "I'm sorry. I can't help you. I only have eyes for (boyfriends name). No one else is attractive." The sister will complain and try to get me to agree, the mom will be like, "really? Don't you have eyes?" And I reply "yes, for your son." And then she'll kind of grimace at me and move on. Like, aren't you happy someone only has eyes for your son?? It makes me feel out of place and confused.
Some men are also like that
If I don't like anyone, I can feel lust for women on looks alone. But if I like someone, it overrides it. Even when I was addicted to porn, having a crush on someone would prevent me from enjoying it. It's it a random person and there's no vibe there. It's not arousing.
Yes. Happens to me, too. When I have feelings for someone, it’s like a switch just flips and other people’s bodies become non-sexual.
I expereince this! Been with my man for almost 8 years. I'm unable to feel sexual attraction to a person unless there are more intimate feelings involved. Even before my partner and I met, I still never partook in one night stands or friends with benefits or anything of the sort.
Yes. I literally could not *get it moving* with anyone other than my wife. I have to love the girl.
That’s me! It probably has something to do with the demisexuality. I am not sexually attracted to random people I see. I can appreciate a good looking man, but a photo of Jake Gyllenhaal doesn’t get my motor going. But when I’ve actually established an emotional connection with someone? Hot damn, let’s knock the boots! I have a fiance. Literally no sexual interest in anyone else. Nothing beyond “Oh, that’s a pretty man. I enjoy looking at his face, much like I enjoy looking at paintings at the Met.”
When I’m in love, I don’t find other men attractive. Or like, I can see why they’re attractive but I don’t connect with it. I truly only have eyes for the one I love. I guess other people aren’t like that, but it’s always held true for me.
When you're in love with someone everything about them is just so much more attractive and other people are less attractive. Imo.
For me it isn't that I find someone else less attractive, just that someone else is already fulfilling everything I would want. I just don't LOOK for other women and my eyes kind of skim over them. Like a priority change more than anything.
In my experience, I get a sort of emotional tunnel vision early on. When I'm interested in someone I'm only interested in them from the early crush phase through the early relationship honeymoon.
It's worse. I become less attracted to other people because I became attracted to someone. I'm not dating my neighbor, but because I have a crush on her, I have no eyes for anyone else. I have to fully murder those feelings inside myself in order to move on and 'see' someone else as attractive.
Yes. I got infatuated with a girl I was seeing a couple years ago and I basically did nofap for like 3 weeks without even trying. I just didn't want to. It was weird. We never even had sex.
I can back up this data point and say that’s me too. It’s only really bad if you end up falling for someone who is bad for you, while there are plenty of other non toxic options that are receptive but you ignore them because you’re so fixated. I’ve also definitely seen and heard women do this too
Had a crush on a girl for a year. She was the only one I thought about all the time, We were friends and she knew how much i liked her but didn't feel the same. I knew I was wasting my time and nothing could happen. Took me getting a new job and breaking off the friendship to get over her.
This is me, agree it sucks.
I travel for work, I’m single but all the guys I work with are married with kids and as soon as they hit the road they are constantly cheating on their wives, it makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. I don’t know how men can just do that and act normal you know? How sad
what job do you do? I know many careers have a stereotype for cheating so I’m curious.
This year, we will be celebrating our 35th anniversary. Completely monogamous.
My wife and I send each other porn. I have no idea why people transmogrify it into disloyalty.
Most men are. You just don’t hear about it.
Yeah, if we went around bragging about being 'extremely monogamous', it'd probably sound like we're lying.
It would turn into “Extremely Monogamous TM” in a heartbeat if we actually talked about it. Everyone knows real good people never describe themselves in plain verbal language.
True. I don't know if you've seen the "I LOVE MY WIFE" bumper stickers but anytime I see one, I assume something bad happened in their marriage.
I just assume the marriage is less than 2 years old.
Or that his wife put it there as a joke
I just assume the person has named the car "My Wife"
“Guess what? I didn’t cheat on my wife today!”
“Extremely” as a modifier in general. And not just because *45* took *every iota* of subtlety out of the word choice…
I'm bigly monogamous
Most surveys put the number of men that watch porn at above 90%, doubt that percentage would change much if you exclude single men
If you include watching porn? I don't think that's true
And some of us are extremely non-monogamous but aren't cheaters... Just sluts.
That’s very fair, I can’t remember the quote I heard once but it was essentially the same. Something about how the best interesting stories are the ones often not told because they aren’t “dramatic” enough
Hold on, using porn doesn’t make me not monogamous.
I'm in a heterosexual monogamous relationship and we watch porn together. Apparently we've been cheating on each other this whole time?
Some redditors think you have a severe porn addiction if you watch porn with your girlfriend
You're swingers, and you didn't even know it!
Hence the "extremely" in ops post
Would someone be disqualified from being "extremely" pacifist if they watch action movies?
Extremely doesn’t change the definition of the word
I agree, I'm a woman and I like porn and also could not be more monogamous to my partner when I am in a relationship (and continue to watch porn.)
Lol i guess it depends on how you do it
I am, but I don't expect a medal for it. Porn and thirst traps do nothing for me because I'm a demisexual. I don't feel sexual attraction without a very strong emotional connection to the woman in question. I could sit in a strip club all night and feel nothing but boredom. I don't know what the average guy goes through in managing attraction. I wasn't even attracted to my wife until she'd already been my best friend for several years. I know that's not normal. It's just the way I am. I often get upvoted when I mention being on the asexual spectrum, so I imagine there are a fair number of Redditors who are also asexual to varying degrees. Couldn't tell you what the percentages are, though, or how well they represent the real world.
This, well articulated. Especially the "I dont know what the average guy goes through", Ive often felt broken because of how my peers viewed sex, partners, and relationships until I realized there was a word for it and it just a different type of existence
Me. I don’t hate on porn or anything like that, but truly, my GF is all I need. It’s taken years for her to slowly believe me when I say I don’t even see other women. I don’t care to. I think she’s the hottest woman I’ve literally ever seen.
Me
Just the thought of disappointing more than one woman at a time sexually gives me anxiety.
I would never cheat on my wife emotionally or physically. In pur mid 30s been together since 17. I feel like that's about as monogamous as it gets. I will say I strayed away in my early 20s, thinking maybe the grass was greener... it wasn't, but that period of time did help me figure out what I was looking for, and it was my wife the whole time. Since the day I gave her the engagement ring, the thought of cheating doesn't even cross my mind. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about being physically or emotionally intimate with someone else. Yes, some porn here and there, but we watch it together and are both comfortable with us doing that .
I am. I thought my wife was, but caught her in an affair after almost 23 years. Really fucked me up mentally. Struggling to stay for our 4 year old.
Don’t stay for the kid, fuck your whore of a wife for doing that
I am. After I met my girlfriend I haven’t watched porn since. I don’t do much social media but even if I did I wouldn’t be following other women. Also, when in public I’m never checking out other women. I love my GF and she is all I want and need.
Why does porn have to be done alone?
It doesn’t! Every relationship is different and if you and your partner both agree then hell yeah more power to you! I’m just curious how many men actually do refrain from that type of content (when it’s a specified boundary)
If it’s not a boundary and they do partake in the consumption of porn, would that person still in your eyes be able to answer this post and be considered extremely monogamous?
I don't think I'd be with a woman who'd put those kinds of boundaries on me, even if I had no intention of crossing them.
Since when is watching porn "not being monogamous"?? I get the question, but that's not what the word means.
I'm' completely satisfied with just my partner. I don't want anyone else. Masturbation/porn/thirst traps are something else. I disagree that any of that means I'm "not satisfied with JUST my partner".
I watch porn but its more for the sound than the people. I have a few videos of my wife and I that I turn to more often than not. When I dream about having sex with someone that someone is my wife. Sometimes I have 3some dreams and the three some is me, my wife, and my wife.
This comment has my brain in a twist
I sometimes watch porn. When I watch porn it is usually home videos I have made of me fucking my wife or of my wife pleasuring herself. When I watch porn that isn't of said homemade variety it is more for the sound than for the video. As in I will often close my eyes and picture my wife but my brain is not good at creating fake sounds in my imagination. Relatedly, when I have sex related dreams the person I am having sex with is my wife. Sometimes I have sex related dreams where I am having a 3some. In those 3some dreams the male in the MFF threesome is me and the two females are both my wife. To be wildy explicit, sometimes I dream my wife is both grinding her clit into my face and bouncing on my erect penis reverse-cowgirl style. I love my wife and find her very sexy.
I’m monogamous and I would never cheat. I do watch porn and I still think other women are attractive. I don’t care if my partner watches porn or finds other people attractive either. We’re human. That’s why there is trust and boundaries though
About 2.53%
I am pretty sure it is 2.69%
My wife only squirts if she watches me watch porn while we are doing it. IDK either yall 🤷♂️
my boyfriend. we dont watch porn. he only follows car accounts and legos. we are both very jealous and possessive people. we have sex twice a day
I’ve been in relationships where the sex was so good I didn’t even masturbate during alone time
What if my spouse and me are the only ones in the porn? :D
I don’t consider porn to be non-monogamous. Neither is feeling attraction to others. But I don’t flirt or entertain any romantic relationships outside of my marriage. My wife watches porn too. It’s just video. Much like watching action movies isn’t committing acts of violence.
We are biologically programed to like the opposite sex. We can like the attention, we can look a naughty things, but the important thing is impulse control. You can read body languages easily. If a woman not your wife is into you just don't do anything. Women are expensive and cheating is expensive. Most men have limited time, finances, and energy. Most people don't want to lose everything they've built for some ass. Porn, is an alternative because we would like to say we get it when ever we want to but that's not the case. Most women have to be romanced into bed. You can't romance them every day or neglect your kids or job. Best thing to do is relish when I woman throws themselves at you and think "I still got it."
Yeah this sums up my thoughts. I’m surprised to hear how many men are claiming they don’t feel the impulse at all. I’m not sure 200 thousand years of evolution can be so quickly overcome by cultural norms so as to actually eliminate the biological response. My wife and I often talk about how attractive other people can be. But we both are secure enough in our own marriage to not even question whether the other would act on impulse when we’ve both worked hard to build a life together.
But noticing that someone is hot (the biological response part) is so far from actually cheating with them. You can just notice that and talk about it, but then the rest of your brain should kick in.
haha imagine thinking porn makes you not monogamous lol
Imagine thinking the terms of a relationship are universal. It's all up to the couple dude.
Imagine thinking monogamy and it's definition has anything to do with a relationship's specific boundaries.
Sure lol, just silly in the broad sense cuz anyone can just keep lowering the bar for cheating. I could say women using dildos and/or reading erotic novels are cheating as well, no one can tell me I'm wrong since its subjective but its still a silly statement.
As a man, can confirm that watching porn does not mean that one is in anyway dissatisfied with their partner. Watching porn often has nothing to do with one's satisfaction and/or lack thereof. OP must be a woman.
I'm married, loyal, but not blind. Take that for what you will.
Most I know, I was not very satisfied with my first one but she was the one who left. Very satisfied with my second. No other experience at all.
I am willing to bet more men are faithful than not. It's the cheaters you hear about though.
What the hell is a 'thirst trap'?
pictures have always done nothing for me and ontop of working in clubs/strip clubs i have seen more vagina and tits than most dudes just finding out about free porn the last 3 relationships i was in my gf's were far far more addicted to porn and wanting pictures from me alot of men are suppressed i probably wouldn't be this way if i actually received real affection from women vs getting thrown a vagina at i met 3 women over the past 3-4 months and all wanted to hookup couldnt even get hard and they all have a melt down in some way even when i said i really need some form of emotional connection for this to work i already know this but it still surprises me how many women never get told no on sex or even someone not \*being turned on by them\*
I am.
In the strictest sense I'd say you have to be an asexual (in the physiological sense) romantic to do that, at least in the medium to long run. What's a thirst trap though?
What's etc? This isn't a good question. Anyway, the answer is none. Every man masturbates, unless they have serious issues, whether to porn, their own imagination, or especially colorful sunsets.
My partner only uses porn that we make and we’ve been together 11 years. Never cheated.
I am. Been married for 18 years. Never been tempted to cheat. I do not watch porn either.
✋✋ me. Even tho I'll prolly get flack for it. I don't mind and I'm happy that I'm like that.
I am. I don’t indulge in porn or self pleasure. However, I’m single. So I wish I had a partner but I don’t.
Surprisingly, my husband- I’ve accidentally “caught” him before and he was caught red handed watching videos of us. He has a whole album and uses that instead of porn, which is nice. I don’t mind porn though and we do watch it together sometimes if I suggest it. Obviously I’m not him so I can’t 1000% say, but he is not a thirst trap/social media type guy. We have a very happy sex life ~ still early on though, married 4 years with two young kids.
I am, I always have been. There's something to being with a person that's a bond that kinda should have a boundary of monogamy shouldn't it? I was raised to not just have sex with just anyone....it's kinda not a handshake.
I won't look at porn, have no idea what a thirst trap is and have zero interest in any woman except my wife.
Hey, that’s me! Married 7 years. Never big into porn… so much of it is creepy and predatory and I don’t like to support that.
Depends on if you are including home made porn of me and my partner? The only thing I'm Interested in watching is what I do to her
I am. I only get off to my partner.
> how many men don’t watch porn Not enough, which is disappointing and disgusting.
Three years porn free, much more in control of myself sexually and much more attracted to my wife as a result. If you make a mental decision to commit your mind and body to someone, and limit what else you let yourself see, you’d be surprised how powerfully bonded you can be to them.