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epolonsky

Because “A Farm Upstate” is too on the nose


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ClassicHat

Pruneville


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MechanicalBengal

nah man that’s totally ohio


K4NNW

No. It's Fleetwood, PA.


CaptainQuint0001

Cuz Shady Purgatory won’t draw any business


BillHistorical9001

Shady Pines Ma! Shady Pines!


MidLifeEducation

I'm so glad I didn't have to scroll for 5 minutes to find this reply! Thank you for restoring my faith in snarky comments!


armyofant

Shady Pines, Ma


TheWorldNeedsDornep

...and too close to the name of the place you took "Fluffy" when it was time.


Argos_the_Dog

“Offramp Springs” didn’t test market very well


Ophiocordycepsis

… that’s the joke


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oksuresoundsright

Good tip I have 3 in my yard


epolonsky

That’s a delightfully ambiguous reply


Reatona

I wouldn't mind going there -- heck, I might run across the sweet little collie my parents sent there when I was a kid!


thickhipstightlips

SHADY PINES, MA !


armyofant

Thank you for being a friend


Feine13

Traveled down the road and back again..


JustLearningRust

We had a retirement home back in St. Olaf...


thickhipstightlips

Shut up, Rose ! 😂😂


Volantis009

Wayward Pines, the Pines' and apocalypses tho


Affectionate_Salt351

The first place my brain went!


sneezhousing

Damit you beat me to it


wis91

Nature-related words often evoke nostalgia, serenity, respite, and simplicity.


Stage-Previous

Dung Valley Home. Surely this is natural?


ActorMonkey

Diarrhea Avalanche Acres. All natural.


bearbarebere

I love you


ActorMonkey

Let’s grow old together.


Rioraku

Wondering now what they will name retirement homes for millennials like me that evoke nostalgia and simplicity


Pm_me_your_marmot

Slim shady pines Green day home Avocado hills


ModernKnight1453

Millenials will just get done in with a cattle stun gun.


sterlinghday

My friend always mentioned it’s because your putting people out to pasture which is a terrible way to explain it but it feels rather on the nose.


Snoo71538

It’s not for the benefit of the old person either. They know what’s going on. It’s for their kids to feel better about it.


s0ul_invictus

you say this shit, but when your mother is too frail for you to safely lift her by yourself, and shitting the bed you'll take her to a facility that can care for her properly, i promise you.


joshuahtree

And it'll be better for her.  There's a big difference between getting a loved one the round the clock care they need and dumping them somewhere and forgetting about them (I say this as someone who thankfully hasn't had to make that hard choice yet)


kor34l

Yeah, as someone that moved my mom into my house to care for her, I love her to death but at the same time sooner or later it's going to be more than I can handle on my own while working physical labor full time. Also I love your username, it's probably a reference to the park or the U2 album, but I think of Xanth every time.


The_Ghost_Dragon

Another Xanth reader?? Surely not!


AlwaysRushesIn

Unfortunately, there are many places that are understaffed, undertrained, overworked or outright abusive to their residents. You really have to do your due diligence when finding a place to entrust your loved ones to. Not to mention they are expensive as shit.


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

Idk about the rest of you but I’d rather suck a shotgun than get that old. I think it’s inhumane to keep really old people alive like that. If you can’t feed or clean yourself it’s time to go before you lose your dignity. I couldn’t imagine putting that burden on my family.


coffeegrunds

As someone who works in a nursing home, I've always said the same thing.


Affectionate_Bat_680

Yup. When I was younger I watched my grandpa with dementia forget everything and it was hard. Especially on my mom because he could never remember her and would have random bouts of anger towards her. If I ever end up with dementia I'm offing myself.


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

I couldn’t agree more. At that point I’m gone, it’s not me anymore. First moment of clarity I get, I’m out.


Censored4urpleasure

I’m planning on a hotshot of insulin or heroin before they drop me in a home.


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

I mean, the opioid epidemic is a tragedy but I’ve always thought it’s probably the least painful most enjoyable way to go.


Stinksmeller

Remember hearing about how so e states would let elderly terminally Ill folks be prescribed a morphine cocktail meant to be lethal yet comfortable so you're not far off methinks lol


Shape_Charming

Me and my mom have an agreement. If for any reason either of us are no longer physically capable of wiping their own ass... *mimes cocking a gun*


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

I tell my wife my plan is to pickup skydiving when I notice the signs and the problem will solve itself one day.


Shape_Charming

My plan was go off into the woods and try to fight a bear. I'm not a religious man, but of all the potential afterlifes Valhalla sounds coolest, and I'm *pretty* sure fighting a bear counts as "Dying in battle"


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

I too am not religious but Valhalla would definitely be the coolest. If you’re not afraid of being ripped to pieces or being eaten alive, do it. A shitload of meth may help your odds and reduce the pain if you lose and I recommend not dying sober if it can be avoided.


Shape_Charming

At that age I'm not gonna want to win lmao


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

Idk man, jump on a bears back knife first and your chance isn’t zero even if luck is the deciding factor. Face to face, no chance lol.


Grab-Born

I'd like to see you say that when you are older. Even if you have a belief of life after death. We are hardwired biologically to not want to die. Survive as long as we can.


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

I’ll have the same opinion when I’m old, I don’t believe in an afterlife, if I’m wrong I’m not going towards the light if there is one, and I’m not afraid of death outside of my family needing my support which won’t be a problem when I’m old. In my experience, the religious are the most afraid to die which is wack since they believe in heaven or some version of it but, I assume it’s because they’re afraid of judgement. If I die and God is real I promise you I will spit in that fuckers face.


Boring_Kiwi251

And he’d be like, “I knew you were gonna do that, but I don’t move since I wanted you to feel as if your punchline landed.”


tritisan

Ha ha that’s what I always say. “I will kick God in the nuts if He actually exists and bothers to talk to me.” What kind of psychopath creates a fucked up species like us?* Look up the Demiurge.


wokeoneof2

Most are Shady too! I can only assume the residents sunny days are behind them.


SevereNightmare

Reference to it being their twilight years, I suppose.


TankApprehensive3053

Many aren't just Shady but shady also.


gorehistorian69

i used to mow a lot of nursing homes and theyre often in the open with few trees if any.


Tinsel-Fop

Oh, hello. Welcome to Shady Sands Retirement Community. We make the best neighbors (tm).


Caithloki

Shady oak acres


Richard_Cranium_FU

Slim Shady Oaks Acres


TricellCEO

“Please stand up. Please stand up.”


Richard_Cranium_FU

Unless you're in a wheelchair


-sharkbot-

ESPECIALLY, if you’re in a wheelchair!!


741BlastOff

"Y'all act like you never seen an old person before"


ordinary_kittens

“Jaws all on the floor, like Gramps, like Death just burst in the door”


Ok_Necessary2991

This must be one he mentions in "The Real Slim Shady'


AdaptiveVariance

Approved by the Fire Marshall


Pm_me_your_marmot

Captain Mathers who's got the balls to say it In front of y'all and don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all


TheDonkeyBomber

That place must be POPPIN!


ImmaNotCrazy

Wife's a nurse, has never worked at a home with Acres or oaks in the name., here its, park, gardens or estate.


brinazee

Center or Creek around here. Or hyphenated names that sound like a law firm.


geardluffy

Where I live it’s park, gardens, or manor.


GrapplingHobbit

The River Styx Retirement Community...


741BlastOff

Death's Door Estates


Anxious-Standard-638

That’s actually a pretty cool name if the residents want to own it


Beleng68

A local nursing home used to be called Genesis. I joked that it should actually be called Exodus. Now it's some other bland nothing name.


Ineedsomuchsleep170

A retirement community near me used to be called "blue hills rise" but someone kept changing the sign to "blue hair rise" so they changed the name to "indigo rise" and ruined it for everyone.


CopperPegasus

I dunno, indigo riNse still seems apt...


merlincycle

It’s not just retirement communities. If you take a look around at tons of apartment complexes or condos that they all have names like that. “The Walnuts at River Ridge”, etc. I think it would be super cool if they had more interesting names, but the general public is fairly conservative still. So while I would love to see a place called i dunno.. “Lightning Carousel Homes” or “Gentle Lemon Circuit Apartments” people will just assume something extra bonkers occurs there.


magicfeistybitcoin

> Lightning Carousel Homes This gives me the funniest mental image ever.


Nowardier

I wanna send Grandpa to live in Flaming Super Death Sword Home for the Elderly so I can live in a one-bedroom apartment in the prestigious Heavy Metal Blood-Typhoon complex.


merlincycle

Astarion approves ⚔️🐉


Brushermans

Sounds fun. But home is typically considered a place of serenity, which is the sense the traditional names evoke. I'm all for more interesting, calming names though. Grand Nebulae Apartments ?


blippityblue72

Also trailer parks. You forgot “estates” because that one is really common.


Adventurous_Mail5210

"Meadows" is another one. It's almost like we're trying to make the old bastards okay with "going out to pasture". It's a nice place, where they have plenty of room to run around and chase rabbits.


PolluxGordon

Kind of like when you give a dog away it went to live with your great uncle on his ranch, right?


BubbhaJebus

Sunset Pastures. Putting them out to pasture at the sunset of their lives.


bassman314

SHADY PINES MA!!!!!! SHADY PINES!!!!!!


Guy_on_Xbox

Green Grove is the exception. Its an excellent nursing home in New Jersey.


WernherVBraun

It’s not a nursing home! It’s an assisted living facility!


jakedandswole

ITS A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY!


HoneydewLeading7337

Is Captain Teeb there?


Brainhunter2020

Because old people are being put out to pasture


prosa123

Many nursing homes have "Rehabilitation" in their names, e.g. Sunny Oak Acres Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. Something tells me there's isn't much rehabilitation happening.


Eaterofkeys

It's actually because they do multiple different.kinds of care. There's subacute rehab, aka transitional care unit, where you get PT and OT and nursing care until you either plateau or meet your functional goals after a hospital stay or surgery if you're not safe and strong enough to go home. A lot of people do actually improve with physical therapy so they can go back home, at least for a while. Subacute rehab / transitional care units may also manage wound vacuums, other complex wound care, and IV antibiotics. Acute rehab or inpatient rehab is usually at other facilities, sometimes directly attached to the hospital, and patients there need to be able to do multiple hours of therapy a day (otherwise, they should go to the subacute rehab at a nursing home facility). Then there's assisted living, skilled nursing care, and memory care which are all different kinds of care and different units at nursing home facilities. Facilities may also have independent living or senior apartments, too. Not every facility has every type of care or unit.


HatpinFeminist

Because it sounds nice for that age group. The millennial nursing homes are gonna have completely different names 🤣


MuForceShoelace

skabibiti toilets


Nowardier

If the place they dump me and my fellow Millennials in doesn't have a video arcade and a Taco Bell, we riot.


Defiant-Scarcity-243

Cause “shady oaks glue factory” and “pinewood soilent green” would be kinda suspicious names


Smallest_Ewok

Green Acres was a popular TV show when they were younger


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otterpop31007

Greeeen acres is the place for me! Farm living is the life for me!


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SevereNightmare

Well, if a place is called Brookstone Acres, they could just call it Brookstone.


Fast_Personality4035

The idea of living in a country estate sounds nice to many people. Come up with alternative names and open a string of nursing homes. Maybe something like "suburban hellscape" or "lingering odor" would be more to your liking.


SevereNightmare

Geez, I was just saying that the addition of "oaks", "acres", "estates", "grove", etc., is overdone. Say a place is called Willow Wood Acres, that could do without the acres part and just call it Willow Wood.


Halfoftheshaft

Because those are just elderly sounding words. Its called marketing. 


Grindar1986

Conjuring the image of tranquility. It's a static place where nothing exciting is supposed to happen, where your old folks are supposed to live in peace until they rest in peace.


West_Abrocoma9524

Lots with allusions to “the autumn of life “. Autumn care etc


Ok_Necessary2991

My sister worked at two retirement homes. Named Stone Hill and Luther Mannor.


Graveyardigan

because the residents will soon be planted


s0ul_invictus

Because "acres" and "oaks" etc, evokes imagery of independence and privacy, which is exactly what these places are taking away (mostly necessary) from their residents. Who wants to move to "Cold and Gray Managed Living Facility #1082"?


Solondthewookiee

Something...dale. I don't know, Brookfeather, Raintree, it's hot, it's very hot there, I've never been GET A WARRANT!


TheWriteStuff1966

I lived in a housing development called Sunset Acres (I guess because the sun set to the west or something). I always felt like it was a final resting place, even though I was in my 30s. Ugh.


whispering3

Because Oak trees last long (I think, I don't know anything about trees), Acres gives the impression of a large area (acres of space), because the older generations are the foundation of the family tree (if you look at it from the angle of an actual tree).


Agreeable_Menu5293

Same reason why subsidized housing is always "Flats" or "Commons," no fucking imagination.


Outside_Reserve_2407

In the old days in Japan they carried the elderly to a mountain top when they became too much of a burden and left them there. I wonder if it would be weird to leave a Japanese relative at a nursing home with “mountain” in the name, if such a naming convention exists.


Beginning_Cap_8614

"Sky Escapes: the Best Senior Living Community in Tibet!"


hovermole

In my experience, any planned neighborhood is named after the landscape/organism that was destroyed or displaced when it was built.


herrirgendjemand

To quote Isaac Brock: "More housing developments go up Named after the things they replace So welcome to Minnow Brook And welcome to Shady Space"


smurfalidocious

Picture it: Florida, 1985. A mysterious fire burns down a retirement home known as Shady Pines.


arealhumannotabot

is this real or a lot of Simpsons references? None of the ones I know of have those naming conventions


Objective_Suspect_

Cause calm nature sells. None are called end of the line. Or stay here till you die


Findingbalance5454

We have one called BeeHive Homes. They take bus trips to air shows and Mardi Gras. I am not old enough to live there, even with cancer. I asked.


Stuntugly

And the only acres that you can see from the windows is a graveyard. The orderlies draw back the curtains and it’s like flashing the lights in a bar at closing time. Move along. Finish up. You can’t stay here.


Salt_Session_6772

Because all the residents are about to enter the dark forest of their minds.


ascendinspire

Cause it’ll be your final resting place


FruitOfTheVineFruit

Why did my parents tell me that they sent my dog that kept biting people away to a farm, instead of telling me that they sent it downtown?


raines

It was Kristi Noem’s farm


FruitOfTheVineFruit

Now I am crying.


KADSuperman

Final place doesn’t sound appealing


Sad_Letterhead_6673

Because the residents are being put to pasture.


TiredRetiredNurse

I guess they think people want to gaze upon the grasses and trees and then die among them.


Aggressive_Suit_7957

Out to pasture?


Roll-tide-Mercury

Because these folks have been put out to pasture.


ozzy_og_kush

Same with "X's Run" where X is some random person's name.


justcrazytalk

Tall old oak trees and acres of dirt. I was recently told I was older than dirt. It is just their subtle reminder of our age.


Kuhtak1980

That’s why you can’t beat Shady Pines as a retirement home name.


UltimateKittyloaf

If I got to name a nursing home I'd go with a name like The Dragon's Lair. All the PT and activities would be D&D themed - e.g., you're not taking the patient on a walk through the garden, they're going on patrol where they poke stuffed animals off stuff with a short fun noodle. Visiting areas would have themed selfie stations that make the grand kids look cool in the social media pics. Plus it would be way easier to convince the dementia patients that they're on vacation and their family is waiting in line somewhere. If I got enough business for a second one I might make it sci-fi themed, but I'd definitely center it around pop culture from when the patients were younger.


Johnny-Virgil

I always assumed they named them after whatever they had to bulldoze to make room for the plastic houses.


Do_unto_udders

I was thinking about similar trends recently. It started as me talking to my Dad about where my Grandma was going. We noticed so many TREES! And then he said what I was thinking--So many psychiatric facilities have \_\_\_\_\_\_ "Springs" in the name. I've been to many of them. He said he wasn't going to bring it up to spare me, but I beat him to it lol I think they use the names because they are considered natural and acres/oaks look their best as they grow and mature--a reference to aging, perhaps?


mrskmh08

Idk but I worked briefly at one called three fountains and people called it three headstones


OldERnurse1964

Because Waiting for God Estates sounds tacky


Sea-Environment-7102

Maybe it's a kind of farm reference like we're taking Grandma to the farm or Grandpa went to the farm sort of in the vein of oh. No your puppy isn't dead. He just went to live with a nice man on a farm.


neurotensin

I think it's branding. The kids are usually the ones that set things up (well, depending on the situation) and they want to avoid high cost homes staffed with people who do a shitty or unethical job. And they want it all to be as little of a pain in the ass as possible because they're exhausted and scrambling in their own lives. So, oak: stability. Acres: mostly an idyllic sounding word. Green, peaceful, down to earth More word categories: flowers, gems, saints, positive virtues... you get the gist. Sooo someone should train an AI on a list of all the AFHs in the US (or wherever) and then we can generate some *really* good names for analysis. 👀


easyjimi1974

I'm going to buy a retirement home and name it Acres Oakes


Indiana_Jawnz

Because people usually associate rural/bucolic settings with retirement, relaxation, and calmness. So they give them names designed to invoke bucolic imagery.


VV1TCI-I

Now I need to start a retirement home called Oaks acres and give it some weird ass motto like "where the nice people go". Or something. Totally not a cash cow.


CODMLoser

Acres and Oaks...just like a cemetery!


National-Jackfruit32

If the names bother you wait till you figure out how much it cost. Average cost for nursing homes depending on where you live are $6000-$30000 per month


keep_trying_username

So the old people know exactly what's happening. Kids: mom, we've found a new place for you to live. Mom: [hopeful smile] Really? What's it like? Kids: Peaceful Acres. It has lots of.... Mom: Aw shit. I get it.


TheQuadBlazer

Because they're full of old Oaks with lots of Aches?


Hagfist

Glen


DontaysMebrough

Train Station has a negative connotation.


Tommy_Roboto

Similarly, why do so many mortgage companies have a metal and a type of tree in their name?


Snoo_63187

Also pines. Like Shady Pines.


[deleted]

Because you are being put out to pasture or it’s just one step closer to being buried under the old oak tree.


Euphoric-Structure13

They cut down the trees and then name the damn place after the trees they cut down. They do the same thing in suburbia. It makes me ill.


Gamer_GreenEyes

To make it seem like grandma isn’t going to be cooped up in a tiny room?


moosecakems

So they know we're putting them out to pasture


philosofova

To evoke places of nature when they're in concrete suburbia.


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Efficient-Plane-8495

Conveys a sense of peace to the elderly. Serene, peaceful. Yeah its corny, but every generation gets marketed like that. In the 90s for a while young people were marketed with "xtreme" this or "xtreme" that. 


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Fierywitchburn333

Agree with the ick. It harkens back to poor farms.


PLANTS2WEEKS

Ache-ers wouldn't go over well.


False_Local4593

I always thought it's because their first communities ended in Acres or Pines.


DThompson55

Ours has the word "Farm" in its name because 18 years ago it was a farm.


MDawg74

Fuggit. “Oak Acres.”


pa1james

Would you rather they name one, "Hell Hole?" "Hell House?", "Last Stop?"


huron9000

Olden Oaks Acres


Tazling

I think J H Kunstler was the guy who said that we name housing developments (and presumably care homes also) for the trees we destroyed to build them :-). If it's called "Whispering Pines" you can bet there are no pines left anywhere in the area. And so on.


[deleted]

Because just like your dog Twixy! They now live where they can run and chase butterflies! Oh the time they are having!


burn_as_souls

They do it to subliminally make the old think of nature and wide open spaces and be of the right mindset for the dirt nap they'll be taking soon.


Disastrous-Dinner966

It’s not a scheme, that’s how things get named. You’re developing 30 acres of grassland? Use ‘acres’. You’re developing a large plot in a forest? Call it oaks, or pines, or whatever kind of forest it is. It’s on a ridge with a view, call it ‘hills’. Why does this bother you? Watertown is named for the lake it’s next to. Is that a problem? Riverton is on a river.


ContemplatingPrison

Same reason trailer parks gave Estate in the name. Marketing


NurgleTheUnclean

I remember it being said that that's what was there before the community was built, and the native flora/fauna pushed out. Like Otter Creek, Aspen Acres, shady oaks.


ArcannOfZakuul

There's a ton with "village" in the name as well


ZombiePiggy24

I don’t want you to know where I’m staying but there are two trees involved


szczurman83

I'll create a neighborhood called 5 Feet Under because it's a step up from being dead.


mycolo_gist

It primes you for names of cemeteries


Flying-Tilt

My thought would be the fact that Oak trees take so long to grow. There is a saying about planting the acorn for the Oak for which you will never be able to enjoy the shade.


Logical-Cap461

Apartments, condos, senior living spaces, malls etc.-- Unwritten rule: Always name the facilities after the things they killed most to build them.


truffulatreeson

Gets the family used to the idea of them visiting rolling acres or serenity oaks cemetery


Low_Sprinkles_7561

What are low income housing plans named, “Heights”, or “Terrace” or “Villiage”? Just because..


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stlarry

We visited to a church named Sherwood Oaks one time. Our boys were so confused on why we were going to an old folks home for church. We asked why the confusion They said it because so many movies have a Shady Oaks or Sandy Oaks (or other S Oaks) as the old folks home. Crazy they pick up things from movies.


SNES_chalmers47

Green Acres was a farm


conversekidz

cause you are putting them out to pasture....aka they dead


Haunting_Habit_2651

Because white people eat that type of shit up. They want to feel like after a life of obsessive consumerism, they can die close to nature. At least conceptually.


RamBh0di

Swamps, Bogs, and Pinnacle Cliffs did not go over well with the focus groups for the developers!


JAFO-

Most of the trailer parks around here have estates in the name.


Ok-Bass8243

The one I work at has.... Villa, village, villager, valley, valley view, Manor, Meadows, country club, and several more. (We are about 80 acres)


AintTripping

I put my stupid mom in a facility once- the word in the name was different, it was "Asylum".