Hanging out is fine, but don't shit where you eat. She has the potential to make the rest of your contract hell on Earth if a romantic relationship doesn't go as she wants. You're new to Japan - don't rush after the first Japanese girl that shows interest in you.
Are you with a dispatch company, or a JET ALT? Either way, hanging out is cool, but we can’t tell if she has romantic feelings for you based on the fact that she wants to hang out with you. Be aware that you probably don’t want to have a relationship with her depending on how much you work together. Imagine breaking up and having to team teach with this person.
Lmao I know so many ALTS that ended up marrying coworkers. Life is gonna happen regardless.
Do you and live your life but be aware of any potential consequences. Be smart, homie.
Just be friends for a year. When you rotate schools/city then see if she actually has romantic feelings or just being friendly. I know an ALT that did that and they’re married now.
In addition, dating amongst colleagues is common in Japan. Heck, I’d say that’s most likely especially for teachers with their limited time.
I met my current wife through work though she wasn’t the JTE. You’re all adults. I wouldn’t get too worked up about it.
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher.
I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask.
Good luck, though :)
Safest option? Just don't.
Most dispatch companies make it a firm policy that ALTs never fraternize with their school staff outside of work hours. The policy itself is unenforceable, but it's there so that they can cover their own liability.
But
**If** you choose to anyway, be safe and err on the side caution. Those no contact policies exist because there have been more than a few morons who have made unwelcomed advances towards Japanese staff who were just being friendly. More often than not, it would result in a soured work atmosphere and the school requesting a new ALT (at best).
Just remember that if anything does go wrong, you will be the *first* person thrown under the bus to smooth things over with the school. Even if it genuinely wasn't your fault. Your dispatch company is NOT on your side. They only care about keeping their BoE contracts.
Also, just as a general rule in life: *don't fuck your coworkers*
If you do go ahead and hang out, do NOT make any first moves- she could genuinely just be being nice and friendly. I remember someone on Reddit a few years ago misread an invitation with a female teacher to hang out outside work and he ended up having to be transferred to a different school because he went in for a kiss at the end of the “date” when she was just being overly friendly to a new person to Japan, and she didn’t want to work with him after that.
Wanting to hang out during GW is a good sign. If she’s cute and you get on then why not, you’d hardly be the first ALT to date a JTE.
Some of the “against protocol” commenters on here are being silly - “living hell” lol - but try not to be a dick and remember she’s more at risk than you are as a permanent employee.
This happened to an ALT I knew in the next town over. He arrived and his female JTE gave him her Line like straight away. They did end up dating but she dumped him. They still had to work together every day for years and it was awkward as hell.
You can try but as long as you've thought about how to navigate it in work if it doesn't go well. If you want to date her I would treat it as just a hangout and let her initiate everything to be 100% sure.
Even dating other ALTs is a minefield. Everything is a bit too close to avoid drama or get any privacy.
Don't do it bro, she has too much power , one simple complain and your dispatch company rips your contract to shred to please the BOE, relationships are generally unpredictable, do you want to potentially stake your livelihood on the off chance that the relationship works out ?
I’ve hung out with my JTE before who was of the opposite sex. Never one on one though, always with other teachers. Maybe ask if you can invite other people so it’s not as awkward/weird?
I’ve shagged so many different colleagues at different institutions it’s not even funny. Out of all of them, only one made a scene at a sayonara party. Generally, colleagues are often dating and shagging which isn’t as big an issue as many are making it out to be. Just don’t get her pregnant. Then you’ve got problems. So, always supply your own condoms as I’ve got a few mates who literally got screwed and are still paying for it today with terrible family situations and are hating life.
I would not even hang out that much if at all with a person from work.—All it takes is one falling out or mishap to cause hell at work. I have noticed how people here can turn on you suddenly. Of course get along well at work, remain professional and be friendly, but going outside of that is a huge risk, even though you might only be working with her for a year.
Not just teaching. Date and meet at least 25 to 50 km from where there might be prying eyes, and your home is off limits. Everyone knows where you live, go and meet.
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher.
I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask.
Good luck, though :)
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher.
I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask.
Good luck, though :)
Hanging out is fine, but don't shit where you eat. She has the potential to make the rest of your contract hell on Earth if a romantic relationship doesn't go as she wants. You're new to Japan - don't rush after the first Japanese girl that shows interest in you.
The finest advice you’ll find. Side note, if you’re leaving your job in the next few weeks, ignore the advice and have a wonderful GW!
YOLO brother
I can confirm, when as a younger man, I did exactly that. Keep the private private.
Are you with a dispatch company, or a JET ALT? Either way, hanging out is cool, but we can’t tell if she has romantic feelings for you based on the fact that she wants to hang out with you. Be aware that you probably don’t want to have a relationship with her depending on how much you work together. Imagine breaking up and having to team teach with this person.
Lmao I know so many ALTS that ended up marrying coworkers. Life is gonna happen regardless. Do you and live your life but be aware of any potential consequences. Be smart, homie.
Just be friends for a year. When you rotate schools/city then see if she actually has romantic feelings or just being friendly. I know an ALT that did that and they’re married now. In addition, dating amongst colleagues is common in Japan. Heck, I’d say that’s most likely especially for teachers with their limited time. I met my current wife through work though she wasn’t the JTE. You’re all adults. I wouldn’t get too worked up about it.
Current wife is wild lol
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher. I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask. Good luck, though :)
r/boneappletea
You can team teach and get students to ask about your date the next lesson.
Especially, if you can incorporate a grammar point. Eg Prepositions (in, out, on, over etc...)
behind...
Get in there my man, life is short.
This is the real advice, follow where head where the blood flows
Safest option? Just don't. Most dispatch companies make it a firm policy that ALTs never fraternize with their school staff outside of work hours. The policy itself is unenforceable, but it's there so that they can cover their own liability. But **If** you choose to anyway, be safe and err on the side caution. Those no contact policies exist because there have been more than a few morons who have made unwelcomed advances towards Japanese staff who were just being friendly. More often than not, it would result in a soured work atmosphere and the school requesting a new ALT (at best). Just remember that if anything does go wrong, you will be the *first* person thrown under the bus to smooth things over with the school. Even if it genuinely wasn't your fault. Your dispatch company is NOT on your side. They only care about keeping their BoE contracts. Also, just as a general rule in life: *don't fuck your coworkers*
If you do go ahead and hang out, do NOT make any first moves- she could genuinely just be being nice and friendly. I remember someone on Reddit a few years ago misread an invitation with a female teacher to hang out outside work and he ended up having to be transferred to a different school because he went in for a kiss at the end of the “date” when she was just being overly friendly to a new person to Japan, and she didn’t want to work with him after that.
>Also, might she have romantic feelings for me? Yea dude, life is just like all those anime you love, so she definitely has feelings for you.
Wanting to hang out during GW is a good sign. If she’s cute and you get on then why not, you’d hardly be the first ALT to date a JTE. Some of the “against protocol” commenters on here are being silly - “living hell” lol - but try not to be a dick and remember she’s more at risk than you are as a permanent employee.
She’s more at risk? She’s not going anywhere. She’d have to touch kids or bury kittens for anything to happen. OP is on much shakier ground.
This happened to an ALT I knew in the next town over. He arrived and his female JTE gave him her Line like straight away. They did end up dating but she dumped him. They still had to work together every day for years and it was awkward as hell. You can try but as long as you've thought about how to navigate it in work if it doesn't go well. If you want to date her I would treat it as just a hangout and let her initiate everything to be 100% sure. Even dating other ALTs is a minefield. Everything is a bit too close to avoid drama or get any privacy.
Yes, its a low key date invitation.
Don't do it bro, she has too much power , one simple complain and your dispatch company rips your contract to shred to please the BOE, relationships are generally unpredictable, do you want to potentially stake your livelihood on the off chance that the relationship works out ?
I’ve hung out with my JTE before who was of the opposite sex. Never one on one though, always with other teachers. Maybe ask if you can invite other people so it’s not as awkward/weird?
I’ve shagged so many different colleagues at different institutions it’s not even funny. Out of all of them, only one made a scene at a sayonara party. Generally, colleagues are often dating and shagging which isn’t as big an issue as many are making it out to be. Just don’t get her pregnant. Then you’ve got problems. So, always supply your own condoms as I’ve got a few mates who literally got screwed and are still paying for it today with terrible family situations and are hating life.
I would not even hang out that much if at all with a person from work.—All it takes is one falling out or mishap to cause hell at work. I have noticed how people here can turn on you suddenly. Of course get along well at work, remain professional and be friendly, but going outside of that is a huge risk, even though you might only be working with her for a year.
I’ve hung out with the principals daughter with out his permission lol and everything turned out fine.
Fine as in burning building “This is fine”?
Not just teaching. Date and meet at least 25 to 50 km from where there might be prying eyes, and your home is off limits. Everyone knows where you live, go and meet.
25 years old and just and ALT? Go buck wild
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher. I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask. Good luck, though :)
That’s ‘protocol’ … Mr. English Teacher. I wouldn’t read too much into it. In Japan, getting to know your co-workers generally requires a little ‘nommunication’. She probably feels obliged to ask. Good luck, though :)