Oi wha's goin' on 'ere then? Is this some good ol' cultural appropriation?! You bloody wanker!
You specky twat! You terrible cunt! You absolute CHEEZ-IT!
my good mate was talking to me about this actually the other day and demonstrated how calling someone a form of damaged object works every time
"you bloody shat up dinner plate" is my favourite
Most common bottom of the barrel ones
Cunt
Twat (i don’t think I’ve heard a single American say this word properly)
Dickhead
Dunce
Nobhead
Mong (common term used in the uk)
Mongoloide (common term in the uk)
You absolute muffin
As a Brirtish person, I can confirm this is a very common British insult.
As a British person I can confirm this is not a common British insult
as a British person I can confirm I hear this surprisingly often
As a Scottish person I can confirm you are an absolute nut.
As a confused person, I can confirm that this makes no sense to me.
As a Canadian person, I can confirm this would probably be a compliment here.
As a Russian person, I can confirm I have no idea what are you talking about.
As an American person, I can confirm we would probably call you british for using muffin as an insult.
As a Polish person, I can confirm that you would get pegged in the ass for calling someone british
As an American person, I can confirm I have faith y'all aren't pulling my leg.
As an American person, I can confirm I also have to have a little faith in these folks
As a Quebecois person, I can confirm that you’re a pussguttedgreasebag
Dang, dude
As a British person i can confirm I've heard it like once
what u on about you absolute muffin
Wit ye on about ya auld yin
BRO I SAW THIS AND I WAS LIKE “im gonna day you absolute muffin” HOW R U IN MY HEAD
Badboyhalo fan I see
DONKEY
Far far away, is far far away Donkey
As a Brit, I can confirm that we do this. *You absolute donut.*
Toss pot
you absolute schlonket
not to be confused with the schlanket
A "Jschlatt" reference spotted in the wild, what a truly majestic sight that is.
Everyone loves the little schlesticle, so it makes sense.
You absolute crusty schlanket
I completely agree
You absolute muppet
as a brit, my ma says this all the time
Easily one of my favorite British insults 😂
You absolute flopschlong
I would be pissed if someone called me a “flopschlong”
I’m here to cause chaos you flopschlong
Better an absolute flopschlong, than an absolute schlongflop.
You absolute donut
Believe it or not, I heard this pretty often in secondary school. Source: I live in the UK
Always from the teachers, they love that insult
They really do, some students at my school adopted it into the way they spoke too
or “melon” and “lemon” as well 😭
my old geography teacher loved using that one, and also idiot sandwich for some reason
this reminded me of gordon ramsey being not too happy about someone saying they didnt microwave a salad
It's the Ramsay Special
“Of course you don’t microwave a salad you fuckin donut!!”
the ramsay insult
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
I fart in your general direction!
Where's our shrubberies?
Ni
Ekke ekke phtwang zoo boing
Tis but a flesh wound!
"Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? But your arms off." "No it isn't." "What's this then?" "I've had worse."
Isn't that a French insult? lol, Monty Python was absolutely awesome!
You absolute frenchman
You probably don't know the wind-speed velocity of an unladen swallow
Wait. And African swallow or a European swallow?
Oh Sir reference?
Excuse you, Oh Sir was referencing Monty Python!
Tis but a flesh wound!
Perchance oh good sir knight
I love that game
No, that's a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
It's a Monty python and the holy grail reference
I played that game all the time when I was younger
Monty Python mention
Ni
WE ARE THE KNIGHTS OF NI
"It"
GODDAMNIT
Your hoverboard looks like a public loo and your cousin’s car smells like a cheese shop, pardon my French!
Oi wha's goin' on 'ere then? Is this some good ol' cultural appropriation?! You bloody wanker! You specky twat! You terrible cunt! You absolute CHEEZ-IT!
More Aussie than British
Aussies are just cooler British people.
I would argue that they are actually quite a bit warmer
As a Texan, I confirm they're basically just British Texas
Them cunts don't got the bollocks to own up to it
Can confirm this is true - my mates call me a specky twat all the time
i read all these with that stereotypical british accent
same
English is not my native language, It is my third language. I don't know why I read all this with a British accent.
same bro. btw you know 3 languages? thats so cool im curious now
As a european, 3 languages is quite common outside the US
im not from the US too but i only know english and my native language, but knowing 3 is such a flex ngl
I know 5 🗿🗿
you absolute crumpet
I thought this and was getting ready to type and scrolled and it was the next one... You absolute psychic!
r/beatmetoit
You absolute cricket
You absolute Lettuce
You absolute mutant
You absolute teenage
You absolute ninja
you absolute turtle!
You absolute plant
You absolute zombie
Ya absolute weapon!
Ye absolute Splinter!
you absolute oven !!
You absolute legend
Bro missed the assignment
Nah man. It is Psychological warfare
Bro summoned one instead
He's spreading peace and love like you told us to.
I never told you that. It’s not my fault somebody decided to make this religion friendly
You absoulute piss jar
^Snoipin's ^a ^good ^job, ^mate!
Challengin' work. Outa' doors.
I guarantee you'll not go hungry.
'Cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead!
You absolute wanker
You absolute bean bag
you absolute fuckwit
"You bloody imbecile." -Jeremy Clarkson
thats three
You just reminded me I have to watch the new grand tour episode when I get home - I've been meaning y to for a while now.
You absolute plonker! :3
You absolute donkey
This is a common one acually
you absolute flipflop
You absolute Cuppa
You absolute goblin
You absolute Gumdrop
You absolute Charlie.
my good mate was talking to me about this actually the other day and demonstrated how calling someone a form of damaged object works every time "you bloody shat up dinner plate" is my favourite
You absolute bellend
You absolute cockwomble
Not two syllables, but one I use regularly; “you willydoger”.
Most common bottom of the barrel ones Cunt Twat (i don’t think I’ve heard a single American say this word properly) Dickhead Dunce Nobhead Mong (common term used in the uk) Mongoloide (common term in the uk)
You absolute pillock
Bellend
You absolute cucumber
That’s 3 syllables
I DONT FUCKING CARE YOU ABSOLUTE CUCUMBER
Not sure why OP specified two syllables. As a Brit, cucumber absolutely works.
You absolute French clown
You absolute bacon
You absolute teabag
you absolute cracker
You absolute buffoon
You absolute pigeon
I saw one saying "you absolute paperclip" once and that lives in my head rent free Anyway, how about you this, you absolute doorframe?
You absolute bollock
You absolute knapsack.
You absolute melt
You absolute bo'ol wo'tah (Bottle of water in british language)
You absolute knobhead
You absolute kettle
You absolute ninny Pickens!!!!!!
You absolute ninny
You absolute aioli
You absolute cowleg
You absolute waffle
You absolute tea bag
You absolute ruler
You absolute hunchback!!
Weapon, melt, arsebadger, cuntbubble, nugget There are too many ....
You absolute sponge cake
You absolute shadow
[удалено]
you absolute birdcage
You absolute nan-muncher
You absolute charmer
You absolute fish’n’chips
You absolute melon
You absolute Lewis Hamilton
You absolute butter sucker
You absolute window frame
YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON
You absolute gluestick You absolute keychain You absolute ice cream Yeah, I don't think it's working
As a Briton, I would be sufficiently offended by any of these.
You apsolute door handle
You absolute woodblock
You absolute twit
You absolute plantpot
I prefer calling people 'a wet paper towel'
You absolute wally
You absolute thermos
You absolute melon Also it has to be a noun
You absolute donut- from a bri’ish person
You absolute bellend !
you absolute poster
You absolute mushroom
You absolute smoothbrain
You absolute value
You absolute Crotch-Rat
You utter spud
You absolute twazok
You little Pinckney!
you absolute crumpet
You absolute bob nobbin
Puff nugget
you absolute goblin
You absolute twotface!
You absolute towel
You absolute conchoidal bottle
You absolute teabag
You absolute bellend
You absolute wet wipe
You absolute toaster