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[deleted]

right person wrong time?


My_a_person

basically


vin-zzz

Thats sucks big time. On the upside, ive seen friends (twice) stick with a girl as friends for two years each before getting into a relationship. So yk... depending on how commited you are, give her some time.


My_a_person

I’m committed, I’m always going to be there for her and am going to try my best to help her when she needs it, wether it’s as her boyfriend or as a close friend


_Smooth-Criminal

That's my boy, go get her


CacophonousCalamity

Don’t do that. Don’t only be there for her in hopes that one day you’ll get a romantic relationship in return. That’s called being a Nice Guy


[deleted]

i don't think that's what they were meaning, they're not only gonna be there for the hopes of getting a relationship


stinkyboi135

I think his intentions aren't necessarily to try to be her boyfriend, but to remain a good friend and see where the chips fall. Maybe they'll end up together, maybe not, either way he'll be there for her.


1-Glen_AdamM

Careful she doesn't become some kind of dependency or like she becomes you're entire focus in life. But none the less be a nice guy and all :)


AndrewFrozzen30

That and OP should be careful not to remain focused to her while she (OP's friend) slowly looks for someone else. It's a bit late, because fuck my algorithm, I only see this posts late at night, so my wording might be messed up. But what I'm trying to say, OP shouldn't throw away all other chances that come at them just because he wants to stay committed to their friend. The friend could slowly, without her will, look away from OP and focus on someone else, not 100% guaranteed but you shouldn't commit 100% to anyone, unless both of you are together in a trusted relationship. Hope it makes sense.


My_a_person

we are in a trusted relationship, she trusts me enough to come to me with her problems and to ask for advice, and I trust her judgment and decision making and trust her to tell me if things go wrong so I can calmly talk things over with her


C0OLSK3LET0N95

I don’t like the use of the word nice guy let’s go with good guy


microwavelength

I can say that she'll appreciate that 100%. good fella right here


AndrewFrozzen30

I know that's nice and all. But don't loose sight of the real world either. People change, environments change, the world is in continuous motion and it never stops (it slows down sometimes, like it was with quarantine but that's not important) If you find another girl, better than her or similar to her, don't hurt her feelings just because you wanna stay committed to your friend. (unless you're put between choosing both, but that rarely happens, what I mean, your friend slowly starting to feel like wanting a relationship at the same time). That could lead to toxicity, while your friend is already looking at someone else. So play it safe. If you do ended up together in the end, that's great and congratulations in advance, but don't bet all your money on her :) cheers


CRAZYCHARLES19

I wish you the best


Bee84000

Chad grindset, good luck out there my comrade


MetalicSailor

go tiger


Mayonnaise06

aw man she was right. You are super sweet. Definitely the kind of friend that I would want around.


freemandsativa2

ya who the hell wants a douchey friend around? Not I. I assure you.


hehe_pp_funny

o7 (Have you asked if she’ll ever reconsider in the future? Might be a rude question but that’s what I would do after some time for any tension to settle)


MCVoyager

just know that altho she may be telling the truth, 99% of the time this just means they don't like you in that way once that got to know you more, or there's someone else. hopefully she's the 1%


ThatGingerKid08

My sisters boyfriend liked her for fiev years before she asked him and and he asked her out about 4 or 5 times in those 5 years. So yeah, you definitely got a chance. But also don't get too hung up on it. Love is great but chasing what isn't there isn't gonna get you anywhere. This does sound like you may have a chance though (bare in mind I am only 14 and got my first proper girlfriend a solid 20 minutes ago but I'm just going of things that have happens around me)


InventorBDG6400

This happened to me. We just stayed friends and one day she reached out and said if the offer to date still stands she would like to


OroblramFerrari

Same thing happened with me recently, it started working over time and now we’re dating hopefully it’ll happen to you as well


[deleted]

that shits not real. if it’s the right person it’ll work no matter the time


Laggingduck

Don’t swoop in right after a breakup bro


[deleted]

No


Revolutionary_Gur405

Ya dick


[deleted]

You sound young.


Revolutionary_Gur405

I'm almost 15


[deleted]

What is it then?


[deleted]

what’s your perspective on this then?


[deleted]

Nevermind - apparently my opinions here aren’t relevant or important. I guess she is truly in love with him & REALLY deeply cares. I must have been mistaken. Remember, I’m a “dick.”


littleMAHER1

I will say give it time ​ she didn't fully reject you it sounds more like a not now then no ​ she's going thru some stuff and maybe one day when she's mentally in a better place and you guys are older/more mature you can ask her out again and then you'll have a better relationship then in your teen years


Yoprobro13

Tbf do u even need to ask again? If she likes you and remembers that you asked her first, I think there's no doubt she'll try when she feels like it.


TheRealTraveel

I’m really sorry but this isn’t the case. I know you’re trying to be positive, but it’s not good to falsely get OPs hopes up


littleMAHER1

oh sorry I don't want to give OP false hope since Ik how bad that could be I was just trying to see if I could find a little light in this dark hole


TheRealTraveel

You’re all good no worries <3. If a person is having a really rough day, because they were picked on for one of their insecurities, like let’s say their looks; I’m not gonna say they look good if they don’t, I’d say it’s foolish to center your self-worth on your looks, try and look at what about them they don’t give themselves enough credit for, and finally a way to work on themselves. In this case I’d tell OP that rejection sucks, but sometimes you should be very happy that you were. Many relationships are unhealthy and leave people hurt because the parties involved don’t value/see it the same. This one guy I know felt like he was in love with this girl who he envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with, but the girl just saw him as a casual high school boyfriend (date/have fun for a few months or weeks and move on). He was very very hurt by the end of it… Not only that, but it’s unbelievable how many well suited people there are for each other. There aren’t just plenty of fish in the sea, but you physically cannot even comprehend how many fish there are, and good ones at that. After all, even if the one for you is one in a million, you only need to find them once to set you up for life. tl;dr Positivity cannot work without honesty, OP shouldn’t dwell on this longer than needed (even if he feels like it), and there’s no shortage of people out there


Bubbly-Ant-1200

She did fully reject him though, that’s a no and a friend zone. Maybe potentially it could still work in the future, but that isn’t something OP should spend time or emotional energy planning about. OP should stay friends but if OP is looking for a romantic relationship ship they should move on and look for other people.


Familiar_Branch4415

Do you know if “what she’s been through” is legit? Because maybe you could try later.


My_a_person

yeah, she’s been having mental health and self esteem issues a lot lately. I had the same though but decided not to say anything to be respectful.


Familiar_Branch4415

That seems like a good idea. Just a thought for (vacuously) “later” if you think she’s doing better.


My_a_person

well I’ve been trying my hardest to help her. I even promised to her that I won’t leave her which has been one of her biggest fears. it’s clearly been helping but there’s still a lot she’s dealing with so I’ve been taking it slow to not overwhelm her.


sjdkjdjsjdksk

As someone who's been in both positions before, don't expect things to get better eventually and just think you can hold on until they do because sometimes they just get worse, even over years. The best thing imo is to try and not even think about this girl romantically and just be a good friend. Not until she's feeling better because sometimes that never happens. Obviously you know the context better but yeah just keep that in mind iykwim


Temporary_Argument15

First rule is to never ask someone out while they’re struggling with something? You’re only going to thrive in a relationship where both parties are mentally healthy. What you need to do is support and be there for her, not idealize a relationship where both of your mental health’s are magically fixed by being together.


Christorm747

You should tell her bc it can help her go get through her situation. A good bonding moment


legendwoofus

tldr:I LOVE YOU BUT I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR GF


Dull-Negotiation-932

TLDR: I love you, but like, I don’t


Nazerlath

TLDR: I'm deeply in love with you, but I really don't


Alex13104

TLDR: I like you but I don't "like like" you


AndrewFrozzen30

TLDR: I love youn't Also r/decreasinglyverbose


RjSkitchie

Troy Barnes: “it was fun but also… it wasn’t?”


SoftwareError

Tldr I love you but I'm not in love with you


_YuKitsune_

Why does this comment have so many upvotes? It should get downvoted 😅


Mahziyartavakoli

What's sad about this though? It's nice to have someone who cares about you this much. And give it a little time. I don't know what she's been through but if it's really a bad thing she might really just not be ready for a relationship.


Over_Option5057

Bruh this is fine too. No rudeness, very mature response. Little to no red flags either. Seems like a respectable conversation. You could just be friends with this person. Or maybe you two can figure something out later. It’s very refreshing seeing something not cursed on this sub


matact0n

Its a bit manipulative from the woman. She obviously doesn't 'really like' him of 'love him otherwise she would be more than happy to date him. She's lying, and she probably loves the attention this man gives her and doesn't want it to stop. Hence pretending she likes him.


Seth_Shadefire

What the hell, you literally have zero context and jump to the conclusion that she’s lying? If she was just in it for the attention, she’d probably way yes, but that’s not what she wants. She wants a friendship that isn’t gonna be screwed up by dating. Which is pretty damn valid. Amigo, pal, friend, chum, learn to read the room.


matact0n

Learn to read the room? you've been friend zoned more times than you'd like to admit.


tanadotorg

I can't believe women aren't allowed to break up with people and be a nice human-being about it, are us women not allowed to break up with people and want to just be friends instead?


xxPeso-Gamerxx

No, apparently if you love your friends that must mean that you are in love with them and must date them lol


matact0n

Your allowed to break up with people, my point is you shouldn't break up with a guy who's clearly into you and say I really like you too and then make up some bullshut excuse. If your not into him just say so. Its women nature to indirectly string people on for attention, whether you conscious about it or not. Don't virtue signal me.


AnotherEvelGirl

i really hope you didn’t just leave her on delivered or read after all that


My_a_person

I responded, just cut it out because people are assholes who are going to try and make me think what I said was wrong because they have nothing better to do then try to ruin others lives


GamerPaper470

Real r/teenagers try not to be salty, petty, and downright rude about a stranger having a relationship experience that ends on a good note challenge (literally impossible)


My_a_person

yeah so many people have tried telling me she’s just toying with my feelings and is playing me


GamerPaper470

Seriously Hope it ends well for you later on man 🤝🏻


apeM3x

and thats why everybody is afraid of confessing to ur crush i mean its sweet and she could not have been nicer but even reading this hurt me


BlackRooster_

The only right comment


AshyToes-0-hoes

thats nice


A_Flipped_Car

She loves you, as a friend


[deleted]

Hehehehaw


Letsbeheroines

Can we stop posting private conversations on reddit 😭😭😭 Imagine her surprise when she sees this.


the_real_papyrus99

Man it sounds to me like you won. Tf you need a girlfriend for when you've got this. She clearly loves you, but isn't comfortable with being in a relationship. Labels mean nothing, this is real love.


My_a_person

shit you right


the_real_papyrus99

I'm in a pretty similar situation, and trust me when I say it can be absolutely amazing Have a great day!


st3pn_

this dude just straight feeding OP LIES 💀 bitches aint shit if she rlly “loved” you there isn’t no “wrong” time thats all bullshit. mf giving this bitch a shoulder to cry on but she don’t want a dick to ride on goofy mfs on this sub bro


the_real_papyrus99

You very clearly have some unsolved issues, I'm sorry whatever happened to you happened to you, but your shitty ass experience with a girl doesn't mean that every girl is out to get you, you dense motherfucker. Have a great day :)


st3pn_

aight man continue to feed OP lies so he can keep simping on sum broken bitch. aye but bitches w self esteem issues the easiest to crack so maybe u onto something have a good day too


the_real_papyrus99

I sincerely hope you remain completely alone for the rest of your life so nobody has to go through the suffering of knowing you as you are now. Be better


st3pn_

what??? bitch i was polite to u tf now u on me damn. but fr tho bitches w self esteem issues got 0 self respect dont blame me just say some nice shit to them and its pretty much free pussy. dont hate the player hate the game 🤷‍♂️


the_real_papyrus99

Man how the fuck you gonna say "don't hate the player hate the game" when the game is literally emotional manipulation you fuckwit You are scum. Absolutely disgusting. Be better. Something is severely wrong with you, please get help, maybe even seek therapy


Express_Passage3355

Man ur spitting facts


Not-a-JoJo-weeb

“I was polite” My brother in Christ that is a woman and you have been calling women “bitches” this entire convo


[deleted]

ikr how tf has he been polite?


Not-a-JoJo-weeb

Least misogynistic Andrew Tate fan


My_a_person

even if they did lie (which they didn’t) I’m not interested in her for the sex, so what you say has no meaning


mispvh

I feel you 🤧


[deleted]

i personally don’t understand how this is “ sad “


My_a_person

sad because I got rejected, but not sad at the same time as she explained how she does really like me but she’s just not ready to date


[deleted]

oh ok, i felt like you were just being highly under appreciative without realizing, id literally kill to have a girl say something like that to me 😭 maybe that’s only because of how love starved i am ig 😞


ChainOk8915

Just make sure you don’t become an orbiter. She has enough friends and you need to also consider what you want


My_a_person

I know, I made that mistake in the past and I do not wish to repeat it


Small_Cherry7103

Damn that must hurt bro. On the bright side at least she didn't put something like "you're ugly fuck off"


[deleted]

Best rejection:


Nour_eldeen451

At least she didn't say "ew"


DENETHTAKAIRA

A case of right person wrong time. Whoever this is was at least honest about it. Better than some people who will pity date you


insomber1

This is an amazing way to break up with someone. It gives closure, and it isn’t mean


My_a_person

It was a rejection but yes, this would be a good way to break up


NoSpot2547

Translation: I don't want to be with you but you do make a good friend and I don't want things to be weird that we lose our friendship.


Itz-K

It’s all lies, it’s ur sign to hit the gym and gain the physique of Hercules. trust me


Shrimp__Alfredo

Ew


Itz-K

I mean more focus on urself than specifically Hercules, it’s just personally where I would start.


dalek1019

Feels fake Not saying that this didn't happen. I mean her This kind of response always seems fake, like they don't really mean it


AndrewFrozzen30

I can understand your concers, but not everyone is lying :) OP should be by her side and stuff, and if the chance comes again, they can finally be together. BUT, OP shouldn't lose sight of the "outside" world, if a chances drops in the mean time, OP shouldn't be committed 100% to her. Because there's no chance she's will truly be committed to OP.


Mushybase

?? Wdym


dalek1019

They're being too "nice", it feels like they're putting on a front


Mushybase

Or they are just a good friend who doesnt want a relationship lmao


[deleted]

this is her just toying with your feelings lol


Long_Fall_1877

This is called being mature and not forcing someone into a relationship with you when you know you’re currently unstable and are unable to provide a healthy relationship


[deleted]

“Going through something” is what I use to put someone down nicely. Bro, I’m just not into you.


Not-a-JoJo-weeb

Redditors trying to comprehend women have feelings and thoughts.


PunLord777

If I had a nickel


theslaviccomrade

Ah well lest it ended respectfully (I think)


WhiteK1t

Sorry op, you'll find someone else.


OrionMr770

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofffffffff


UndefinedPoster

Aka: I like someone else


[deleted]

Been thru this a lot. They all say the same thing lmao. Keep it up tho, you’ll find the one


Patrick-Bateman0

Cringe


Living-Positive8849

In short, she loves you but as a friend....


ApprehensiveFilm4362

Fuck that somehow hurts more than just “no”


Shrimp__Alfredo

How?


ApprehensiveFilm4362

Idk. I’d much rather them just curb my feelings so I’m not still attached rather than letting me down like that.


dr_peabrain123

She playing you bruv


GamerPaper470

Wait a while, be there for her, and you might be able to actually be with her


Bubbly-Ant-1200

The healthy thing to do is for OP to move on but stay friends. OP should not fixate on the possibility that they might get together in the future, that’ll be unhealthy for OP and for the friendship


blahblahtotok

I had a gf once. One day, she just randomly said me that she wants to break up, but she likes me. I still don't know what she was thinking. I literally got friendzoned by my gf lmao. I'd still fall for her if she asks me out again : )


Pablo8801y

The next thing you know she's with someone else. 💔🖤


huncherbug

That...i felt that...


ROPEBOMBER

*I’ll give you a kiss but it’s merely meant to lethally poison you*


Ornery_Ad_8862

L Girl


Shrimp__Alfredo

Yeah, she doesn't want to force herself into a relationship she's not ready for but decided to let the guy know in a kind and considerate way, what an L.


Ornery_Ad_8862

I’m messing around it was a joke stop being a square and actual learn how to smile for once


Zombie-Free

Press F for our fallen soldier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SpeakableLiess

My brother in christ she has mental health issues


20067891

ouch


vaszoly

I mean it's better than what most people on this subreddit have, nothing, in this case you can just wait until she's y'know, ready for a relationship again.


NecraTerik

Brotherrr just add comedy.


Aheadblazingmonkee

move on Edit: don’t just move on MOVE UP


My_a_person

I cannot


Massive-Ok

sorry for ya F


INeedSomeFire

Pro tip: stay close to her, let her know you love her, give her time (I'd say 3+ months), then begin a serious relationship when you think is the best time.


[deleted]

Reminds me of a friend, “He loves me so much but he’s so depressed he can’t be with me.” Like HUH? He’s just not into you. He’ll find someone else.


MelMellon

Rest in peace, but hey, it’s not a no. You can try again later


waoaoeoeoeo

p


Grand_Inquisitor_

So


ToddthePancake

Sound like you didn’t think someone needs time after a bad relationship? Always take your time because this is kinda wrong on your end


[deleted]

A) Right person wrong time B) Standard issue "I'm not ready for a relationship... WITH YOU so I'm going to keep you around in case i don't find anyone interesting


Long_Fall_1877

Very mature of her to not use you as a release for all of her current emotional baggage. Many teenagers just jump straight into new relationships because they’re desperate to feel loved, but then end up being abusive without realizing it, and causing a lot of pain to the other person- which then leads to another break up, them jumping back in, causing pain to someone else, and the cycle continues because they feel like “it’s impossible for someone to love them” and are desperate for love, when the reality is that they’re very messed up and should actually be taking time alone to grow. Trust me, she’s going to be a fucked up partner if you date her now. Be super glad she’s working on herself and that she is a mature individual. With her current mental state, she understands that she is unable to offer you a healthy relationship. She knows she’s unstable and instead of possibly taking that out on you, she’s maintaining her distance in order to heal and become better


thecarefulcactus

had someone do this to me. strung me along for a good 2 months and told me they loved me every day and called me every chance they had. all to end with them asking for a little space and ruining our friendship. hopefully it’s not the same scenario for you


No_Statement9011

Thats too bad. Try again some time later if you want


Random-Name5

I wish this happened to me Nobody likes me (romantically) tho :'(


xMoment

similar happened to me(her name also begins with S so this felt like a flashback)


TheBlackCat268

Aw. Well F my guy. But seems like she really does like you so maybe she will come around. But i dont want to be too positive, reddit ppl doesnt like that lol


[deleted]

That literally just happened to me man I feel ya


Chaos_Ruins

I am literally in the exact same situation lol


ghosttrid3r

got told almost the exact same thing the other night homie. you’ll find someone for you one day 🤞


[deleted]

I’m in a similar situation right now, but trust me it’s not all that bad, she says that she does love you, and that seems to be pretty genuine, she’s just not ready yet. But pay attention to the fact she may be implying *yet*. I’m in a pretty similar situation and my crush has said he has feelings for me, but isn’t ready for a relationship yet. So give her time, she has a pretty good reason to not be ready, *yet*. So wait a bit for her maybe? If you feel like you rather not wait though, or feel like there is a possibility she’s just toying with your feelings, it might be better to walk away, but from what I can gather I think she just needs time.


DrPaTtRioT

Dude I’ve had this exact scenario happen and 4 months later after she said she’d be with me after she got her life sorted she’s with a different man nothing hurts worse


FrankieRoo

R.I.P. Pour one out for this poor bastard.


megaknighttoes

I tried one time to confess to my crush, I told her the day I saw her, my heart pumped with love, she said she was flattered, but she didn’t like me, she then decided to ghost me and we haven’t talked since


userhvfegcd

damn 💀


Jay_T5

Hey man this is the exact same thing i went through October 26th and I thought i could rekindle me and her but she has been talking to another for a month and we’re just best friends now 😐It was also right person wrong time like this


Former_Ad_5438

Fuck em, they’re down you’re up my man.


Mussleleani

Tell her ok, nothing else


Fluid-Try-2542

Did y’all really read that-


Critical-Capital-839

give it time, she will come to you when she is ready


Yudenz

Lol identical situation happened with me a couple years ago


sonantkinkajou6

Mate, she is just looking at the other options she has, she’s just waiting to see if your the best one


Idkwhyimonr3ddit

Just give her time. She’ll come around. Make sure you make her smile and are always there for her. Remember, “A shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” -Ghandi Also, “He who makes her laugh and giggle shall one day make her cheeks clap and jiggle” -Socrates


My_a_person

those are not the reasons I’m going to stick with her and help her


[deleted]

God damn, I’ve never been rejected in such a polite, kind way


Fun_Grapefruit3863

Damn


RandomSoymilkDrinker

LETS GOOO A FRIENDDD


Omnithis

Yeppers last time someone said that to me we ended up dating for all of summer. Then she broke up with me and 2 days later started dating her supposedly “old crush but still really good friend”


Prestigious-Ask-4029

Ty for explaining why the names were crossed out. I was confused.


My_a_person

I don’t need your sarcasm


Particular-Demand-45

Friend zoned.


PianistRight

I’ve never been through this, but it must be tough. But you can still be friends with her regardless


freemandsativa2

aww puppy luv. How nostalgic.


Inevitable_Degree_76

You’re lucky she’s nice. When I was bi she completely ghosted me even though we were good friends. Didn’t even respond to the text and asked someone else to ask me if it was true. That’s why I’m only gay now 😝😍


Crab_Cult_Member

do people just have websites to copy and paste this shit? this seems identical to when it happened to me.


hehe_pp_funny

F chain? Either way, my condolences. I can’t imagine how that would feel for me. Good that she still cares, you still got a good friend. Even then, I’d be still hurt so 🤷‍♂️


AffectionateOne7553

That'd be enough for me to be happy.


matact0n

Means your fugly and boring sorry ba watch some andrew tate


scrunchiecola

Relationships when you’re a teenager don’t need to be this complicated. She doesn’t love you


MarcusAurelius00

“I hope you have a sweet day though” See you at the gym


VASL-30

Did she just say : I love you but i don't love you


MBeroev-is-69

That’s basically a fuck you in lower case


racist8bit

Stupid ass disclaimer


Sufficient_Web_5466

She wants Chad


[deleted]

F


Milan215

For what other reason would you cross out the names?


ManlyMustachioMan

p