I have a friend like this currently. How did you go about dropping them? I'm trying to be somewhat nice about it whilst drawing a firm boundary. Don't care if they never contact me again though, haha.
I've tried ghosting before, and I just get guilted into responding. I think I'm just gonna tell them that I don't like how they treat me and I'm done with it.
What I did was legit just block everywhere, no phone, no Facebook or email. Nothing. For other reasons, I also moved out of the state, which helped me, but is completely optional 😂
Bitch told me I was taking care of her new pet snake while she went out of state to stay with a guy who happened to be at one of her waitress tables one night 🙄 and she told me that my two children (8-9 months and 3) weren’t allowed in, and would have to wait for me in the common living area while I did whatever for the snake and changed her betta’s water. Not asked if I would. Told me I was. I had a lot of problems with her. This was just the last straw 🚫 bye Felicia.
That's how you do it. I dropped someone like that a while ago just like this. She tried guilting me into responding but I just told her it was over and while I loved her I couldn't keep her as a friend with how she constantly treated me as her emotional dumpster only when it was convenient for her and would barely acknowledge anything I told her about myself. She got pretty nasty after I told our mutual friends and told one of them I should kill myself and that me ending the friendship was just me taking out my inability to socialize on her (?). I promise you they will get nasty after it ends but if you've got others to help tide you through it then it's not a problem at all. Good luck!
Wow, that is just awful, no one deserves that mean selfishness. I'm glad you broke up with her, that was emotionally & mentally exhausting, I'm sure, and sounds dangerous. No one should hint at someone else killing themselves oof.
I’m a lot like you in this regard, but definitely use caution in sending anything at all when they’re in a mood like this. No matter how reasonable your message is, you can expect it to be used as fuel for the fire. Consider preserving your peace of mind and stepping back without an official notification.
You don’t have to full on ghost of course, but definitely don’t initiate anything if the previous exchange has ended.
I just listened to a great podcast about setting boundaries with toxic people by saying I'm so weak and pitiful sorry I can't handle this, and then not responding, so the other person doesn't feel attacked. Eventually they'd get bored and find someone else to vent to instead of you. I've noticed when I used similar techniques to this in the past it worked really well. Like if someone is really nasty, I could immediately defuse the situation by saying "I'm an idiot, you're right, how would you like to move forward?" and then they'd start being really nice to me and say I'm not an idiot and take responsibility for their own actions. There are ways to abuse this but if you do it right it is paydirt.
I'm terrible at conflict but I tried it out yesterday with someone being toxic and it went pretty well.
Unfortunately, yes, this is the best method. You'd think it would serve everyone to tell the person what the issues are, be honest so they can hear their friends perspective & hurt, to work on themselves etc., but that just isn't going to happen & they'll simply feel even more vindicated in their behavior & attack more. It's a no-win situation, so the best action is to just save yourself.
Ew she needs to get over herself. You were doing a fine job being supportive. If she wanted to dictate the whole interaction herself she should have spoke to herself in the mirror.
My jaw literally dropped at “why are you acting like this? I’m the one that just needed a friend and you keep making it about you…” etc… that entire text was way out of line, but that specific part.. especially about the job.. what the fuck? When she comes crawling back, send her that screenshot and that’s it. She sounds like a real POS and you’re clearly a better friend to her than she is to you.
Exactly. Like my siblings (there’s 4 of us), moved out, we were like…ok, have fun!
First older brother, then me, then younger brother. Sister is next when she clears college and finds a job. We’re all very very close, yet no one thought “we have to stay together or we’re gonna have a mental breakdown.”
What gray text is describing isn’t “closeness” it’s emotional dependency. The sister probably WANTED to move away from her sister to get some space and move on with her life. OP might want to try doing the same thing…
As my older sister was moving out of her room, I was moving my stuff into her room simultaneously 😂 I’m super close with her, I definitely missed her when she moved out, but I was ready for the bedroom upgrade! (Way bigger room, with a bathroom and 2 walk in closets and getting the entire basement to myself)
NO LITERALLY SAME
same day she moved out, i cleaned every single mess she left behind because we shared a room and dear lord was she messy
love her tho
My younger bro did the same thing. That did piss me off. Cause I was the older brother. It made sense for me to get the big room (we’d shared one previously). Nope younger bro got it by virtue of simply moving in haha. Opportunistic little fucker. Obvs, I don’t care now. It’s just funny thinking about it cause that was the only conflict involved with older bro moving out.
Now he’s got a house and 3 daughters. Someone help him hahahaha.
Oh heck no, I was next in line, I earned that room and I’d have beat someone’s butt and moved their stuff right back out as I was moving mine in! Lol I feel your pain, I’m a middle child also
Yeeeahh, these days I absolutely would because my emotions are more or less sorted out now. Back then…let’s just say comparing 18 year old me to a pickle wouldn’t be too far off the mark.
But yeah, middle child is a tough place to be. Folks are teaching the oldest to be responsible and the youngest to have fun which leaves the one in the middle with most of mom’s emotional burden.
At least, that was my experience of it.
I was just thinking this but then I remembered I’m an only child, so I wasn’t planning to bring this up because clearly I don’t have the experience. But most of my friends do have siblings, and none of them were like this when the oldest moved out. If she’s this torn up about her sister moving out (assuming she’s still close by) she needs to be talking to a therapist not a friend. She’s acting like her sister moved to another country and will never be seen or heard from again.
Her sister just moved out? That's it? She didn't die or something? She just.... Moved out?
Lmao she sounds pathetic, dude. Talk about making things all about you lmao sounds like she's upset her sister is getting the attention for a little while.
A little overboard?? Wow- she is insufferable and if you think this is just “a little overboard” then I would not want to see her when you think she is going full on. She was rude full on and came in low about your job- to me, this shows she knows she can use you as her punching bag. She seems very young almost like a teen talking to her annoying mom. I don’t know if you two are friends or dating but whatever relationship it is is not good.
Not even a little. Way overboard. She's a horrible person and this just proves it. Sod having anything to do with someone THAT toxic. Don't make excuses for her
She did not go a “little” overboard, you are being way too permissive. I’m all for understanding people act out when they’re emotional, I do it too. This was bizarre. She’s going to reach back out to you when nobody wants to listen because they can’t ever say the right thing, and you need to show her what she said and cut her off.
Honey, that's not "a little overboard" she went psycho on u. My literal mother figure died early due to breast cancer but I NEVER treated anyone with that much contempt/hatred because of it. If anything, I did exactly what u did: delved deeper into my hobbies and surrounded myself with the people still in my life. But as others have pointed out, her sister didn't die. She's still alive so this behavior is extremely gross
AYYY SHE HIT EM WITH THAT “K” LFG!!!!!
On a serious note, it looks like you said the right things and still could not make this person happy. Tell them to talk to an AI perhaps.
So funny my first thought was maybe she should speak to AI so she can get the responses she wants, then I realized she still wouldn’t be happy and should use the mirror.
I had a friend like this. She was talking about something that I was also interested in, and in the conversation, mentioned my interest and offered some advice because she was having some issue with it, and she went “okay but we’re not talking about you, are we?” And her boyfriend and I just sort of looked at each other. We are no longer friends, to say the least lol
My ND friends and I always swap anecdotes to relate to one another, but I've found that a lot of people get *insanely* offended if you bring your own experience into a conversation after they share theirs. I've learned to just nod and listen. But with a person like this (if this is even real) there's just no winning.
Oh my god. She just projected herself so much I think I just saw an x-ray of her soul on that last “look at yourself! Going on about how you’re *better than me* when you barely have a sustainable job.”
Whoooah there Nelly!!! Whoaaah girl, whoaahh!!!! Nearly threw me off Reddit completely that was so wild!
You’re clearly the more mature person in this “friendship” and I’m sorry she doesn’t value you or your feelings. She has a lot of growing up to do and will likely learn the hard way that the world doesn’t revolve around her.
Man I don't know, I was a shitty ass teenager too but the way she speaks to you is showing some major dysfunction in her thinking and emotional regulation, even for an age where most people are still shaky on behaving maturely. Teenagers can be very quick to lash out with harsh words or send a shitty text message, but she is actively taking steps to push you away and make you feel shitty for the entirety of your recent communications.
Obviously it's impossible to tell just from some text messages back and forth, but if she gets diagnosed with some sort of anti-social personality disorder 10 years from now I definitely wouldn't be surprised.
I would suggest you find other friends who will treat you well and respect you being willing to listen and talk to them when they're feeling down, personally.
Yeah that’s what I meant when I asked and said about, that’s a perfect answer, I hate for you two, to stop being friends over this but it seems like she has some issues going on, so maybe just leave her be for a while and once she gets over this spell she will hit u up again and maybe even apologize for it
Okay this explains a lot. This is undeveloped frontal lobe acting up. They don’t want to feel better they want to thrash around until their nervous system resets. Nothing you say is going to help because they’re feeling totally dysregulated.
Best bet in these situations is to just say “I’m so sorry you’re suffering, that is a terrible feeling. I hope things improve soon” and then walk away for a little bit until they reset.
Perfect responses are not possible, you’re doing your best to help. When someone is this upset the logical part of their brains basically turn off, which is why they don’t make a lot of sense. All you can do is tell them you care about them and wait for their brains to turn back on.
She honestly sounds like someone who is completely clueless socially. Her very specific requests (“Do you know anyone who’s had a sister move out exactly the same amount of time my sister has been gone? Also, they must be my height and weight, eat the same foods as me and share a birthday with me.” 😆) and her complete lack of awareness of how rude she is being makes me think she might be autistic or possibly on the spectrum.
That doesn’t justify the behaviour, and its on her to learn how to interact with other people properly.
Ohhhh fk this bitch!
You are better than me when you hit her with the “k”
I would have hit her with the “f you, you ungrateful narcissist bitch! No wonder your sister left! To get away from you insufferable ass!”
But that’s just me.
# stay petty my friends
I'm pretty sure that type of response is actually what she's looking for. My bet is she does this when she's upset, picks around until she can stoke up a fight with someone so she can get that emotional release. She's likely (esp. considering her age) not even aware she's doing it.
This person is genuinely sad and has every right to be, but I hope you can see that they’re using this situation as an opportunity to put themself in the spotlight. It’s a pity party. They want you to dote on them and they became upset at any mention of something besides them and their specific circumstance. It’s not absurd for you to share your own experiences that relate to this person. You mentioned that you’re a teenager, please know that friends come and go and you don’t need to tolerate people that act like this. I hope this person gets to a point where they can recognize that this behavior is not okay, but you’re not responsible for making them have that realization.
You have the patience of a god. This person sucks on a very deep level, and it’s best to just move on with your life and leave this banana in 2023. You tried, SO hard and they spit in your face.
She got annoyed at you that you can't relate but when you try to relate, she says you're making it about yourself? This girl is determined to be miserable. Don't let her drag you down with her!
I want to know how you are making it all about you? I don’t see that at all. It sounds like you are trying to sympathize with her and she is just being a jerk in return.
Edit: fixed spelling
Exactly. If she wanted to talk to you about something she is going through, it makes sense that you would mention your similar experience to show you empathize with her. How old is this person? They act like they are 13. lol
I love how she wanted someone who could relate due to personal experience and then, when you brought up your personal experience, she threw a tantrum. This person doesn't seem very bright.
You aren’t selfish for reaching out… you tried it’s just that the other person was too sensitive and demanding. You’re better off without that kind of energy and drama. Everything you say would just be thrown back to you.
You deserve better. You were more than patient with her.
She overstepped really bad. I could forgive a little bit of snappiness due to emotional stress, but your real friends will have enough self awareness when it's called out to apologize and she isn't.
Please, do what's best for you and distance from this. She needs a lot of time alone to reflect on how she treats others.
Wow. I've never actually met someone I'd so easily drop lol. I feel like they cannot possibly be good company at any point, Jesus.
Plus they said it's unfair they're sister left. They very clearly just find people to blame when they feel things they don't like to feel, even if no one is at fault at all. Maybe this is extra hard on them because they're finding it hard to blame they're sister. So they're msging you in an effort to go through their usual habit of getting angry at someone to feel better.
You gave advice, she didn't want that. You gave a listening ear, she didn't want that. You tell her how she's making you feel, she insults you. OP, it just sounds like this person is looking for a reason to lash out at you. There's nothing empathetic or even reasonable in her responses. I'd reevaluate this relationship.
I have absolutely 0 idea what this person wants
“I’m going through a tough time”
“Here’s advice on how to make it better”
“I don’t need advice from someone like you, stop being selfish”
“Okay, I won’t give you advice and just console you”
“Why are you just consoling me? Don’t you have anything more to say?”
“Literally what do you want from me”
“Nevermind, gonna talk to someone who will actually listen”
She was getting interpretation from that chat that was literally nowhere to be found. They put you in a lose/lose situation. No matter what you said, you were going to be wrong and terrible and they’re the super victim cause first the sister and now the friend 🙄.
Honestly, block this person’s toxicity from your life.
This person is unhinged af! How old are they? What is this obsession with their sister? Good advice for them is to be happy for their sister and maybe try to find independence in this new life! But yeah, stop talking to them. They are disrespectful
Are you talking to a child? Maybe around 8 yrs old? Or perhaps a 13 yr old who has regressed? It does read like you are a parent trying to support a badly socialised child. If you are, remind them to stop being so rude and that you are taking time out your own day to try and support them and that you can't do anything to change the situation. Say you understand its upsetting but them taking their feelings out on other people doesn't work for anyone in life. If they are older, maybe talk about the grieving process, esp the anger phase and that it doesn't just happen when someone dies. It can happen when someone moves away or life changes suddenly because something that was always there isn't there anymore.
If its a teenager, the reasoning areas of the brain do retract a bit so the adult independent mind can grow and replace the juvenile mind and that can effect their reasoning skills for a while.
Jesus. You're just relating to them and they just blew it out on you like that? And yeah they think their connection is better than you with your sis? Thats some narcissistic shit like wtf? You can realte to them cuz you both have sisters who moved away. So yeah you did good saying you know how they felt about it. And then you complied to letting them talk and they have the audacity to tell you "Thats it?" Thats some toxic shit.
Nah fuck her. You were using your own experiences to give her advice, NOT making it about yourself. She sounds manipulative as fuck and tbh it’s better you aren’t friends with her. I’m sure the weight of her bullshit felt great to get off.
Also, the projection, holy fuck. She sounds musty.
Yeah, I’ve learned that some people lash out when someone tries to comfort them. They are impossible to please, and will exhaust you for trying. You made a good effort here, but they are just using you as a punching bag.
I’m ngl this update made me even more mad. Lol talking to someone like that would have her talking to my fists and I mean that. I was waiting for you to curse her out and it never happened 😭 I’m sorry this happened to you OP I really am but this pmo😭 I almost thought this was a joke bc of how insane her responses are.
Don’t be friends with this bitch.
Not a friend, a bully. She wanted to be the victim and use her victim complex to put you down any chance she got and instead of letting her, could've blocked and left her
Person on the left in that conversation is a 2735% whack job with serious mental issues. Wouldn’t associate with them anymore since they are combative, manipulative, and unstable
Yea move on, this is out of your control. Your friend might be going through emotions and messaging you out of emotion. Maybe call your friend in a few days and see how your friend is doing?
Yeahhhh I'm gonna say whoever grey is an attention whore bitch.
If she is going to throw low blows at you, then I got a comeback for you!
"Well it's no wonder your sister moved out"
Use wisely!!
Idk WHAT she wanted out of you bc you were clearly being as helpful as you could… we relate to each other and that helps us empathize with others, some people do it selfishly but you werent!
Well it’s understandable that her reactions might be a little over the top after her sister just died. Oh… the sister’s not dead? Just moved out? Still alive? Okaaaaaay
You know, as you get older, you start to recognize that you don’t need people like this in your life. She is insufferable and really bad at communicating.
This was way out of line. You were being supportive and she didn’t feel it felt supportive in the way she deemed it to be so she throws a tantrum? Is she 5? Her sister moved away - she didn’t pass away. She’s not in wit sec. She’s exaggerating for attention. It’s sad. When my sister moved across the country, I cried. I missed her. But I sure as shit didn’t take it out on everyone around me.
I know they say misery loves company but it doesn’t mean you HAVE to make everyone miserable around you because you’re insufferable. And that’s what she is. She’s unreasonable, insensitive and self centered. Throwing digs and insults at you just to make you hurt, too. That’s not a friend. That’s rotten garbage that needs to be taken out with the trash.
You can surround yourself with much better friends who will appreciate you and your efforts. Man, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that exchange OP.
I consider myself a patient person, but you are a saint. I wouldn't listen to a childish tantrum like that for long and start ignoring them the moment they start treating me like a cigarette butt.
That’s so shit. “I’m going to bring up your sister. Why are you now talking about your sister?! I just need you to listen. Now I need advice. Why won’t you listen?! Ugh!”
Fuck that noise…
You can’t win with this one 🤷♀️ and to answer your question, no, you are not selfish.
She said you’re making it about yourself - no, you were just trying to relate with her and offering a suggestion. Then she says she doesn’t want advice, but finds fault when you try to be a listener instead. What were you supposed to say then, if she doesn’t want suggestions from you? If sympathizing with her by talking about similar experiences (which some people find comforting, knowing they’re not alone in this struggle) somehow makes it “all about you”? What else is there other than to agree, “that sounds difficult,” and give her space to keep talking about her feelings?
To sum it up:
You: do you want me to listen or do you want advice
Her: no
Also, someone who doesn’t “give a shit” wouldn’t be listening to and replying to her.
I get she’s upset, but lashing out at you and insulting your job is a bit uncalled for, and she’s finding fault with anything you say. She’s hurt right now, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem like there’s anything you can do for her if she’s rejecting literally everything you do. This interaction sounds draining on you, and it’s important to take care of yourself as well, even if it means distancing yourself. Hope she finds someone else who meets her criteria.
Uhhhm it honestly seems like that person didn’t really read any of the messages you sent them…. I definitely think you should drop them as a friend, that’s just exhausting
Yeah no. You’re being supportive. That person is nuts. Nothing you did was good enough. They’re gonna need to find somebody else to kick around I guess. Save yourself the headache.
I saw the original version and the update. I literally just cut lose a “friend “ like this. They would always put me down, lash out at me, and tell me I didn’t understand, when I would empathize with them. You literally tried everything and it isn’t what they wanted, but more importantly, the way they TREATED you when it wasn’t what they wanted is what’s so telling. They are putting you down as a means of feeling better.
We’ve all been there before, we vent to someone and their response just makes us feel more lonely, it’s not the vibe. That happens. But she is literally taking her sadness OUT on you and resents you. You cannot change someone’s feelings of resentment. In this case, they resent that you seem to have a larger family/supportive family, which they equate to not being as lonely as them, and they probably resent other things about you too.
Not that you need to understand them, but imagine being in abject poverty, and a rich persons like “I’m so sorry this is happening to you, sometimes I can’t buy coffee because I forget my wallet at home, I’m here for you and I’ll listen.” Nothing that rich person says, no matter how understanding, will make the poor person feel good. That is the power of resentment. By the way, this analogy is NOT 1 for 1, your loneliness is so valid and your feelings for your sister deep. This analogy was to explain why your friend is lashing out at you, and how THEY see you, and is not a reflection of reality.
She attacks you as a way to feel better. Run.
Jesus Christ. Do they have other symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder? Because either they’re incredibly immature, BPD, or both. Everything you said was supportive and compassionate, and not once did you make it about you, and they even resorted to insults. Wtf? I’m truly taken aback by this. You had way more patience than I would’ve, I would’ve given up on the second page. I don’t think being friends with this person will do you any good.
I see the comments about their age. I have grown aunts and uncles that act like this. My advice, keep distance. People like this are never happy. You will never be good enough for their misery. Just surround yourself with people who spark joy in your life.
She's the selfish one, not you. You tried to help and it wasn't good enough for her. What does she want you to do? She sounds like an exhausting person. Find a better friend lol
My sister also moved out a week ago but I didn't become a bitch.
When she'll crawl back to apologize tell her to fuck off, you don't need friends that don't appreciate you. I had no one to talk to about my sister moving out, and if someone was there for me like you tried to be for her, I'll be grateful and won't project my sadness.
You tried to be there and got slapped in the face and then gaslit about the whole thing… guarantee they come crawling back in a week or 2 after they realize they’re actually alone now
Absolutely not, you are NOWHERE near selfish. I get they're going through a lot of pain and feelings right now but that is no way to speak to someone or an excuse to do so
This behavior is purposeful. You'll never have anything to offer as she keeps moving the finish line.
If you are helpful, then she'd have to move away from being the victim.
Your patience and kindness probably irk this person. Don't waste your time.
You are not selfish.
I bet her sister couldn't wait to get out of that house. If your "friend" is responding to you like this, she's 10x worse with her family. It's more than just grief. She's irrational in her responses. Must be an exhausting little dictator at home.
This is ridiculous!
She was looking for a fight, and no matter what you said, it wouldn't have been right or good enough.
She is acting like a silly brat!
Run and find a nicer friend!
That sister didn't just move out. She ran the F away from that nutcase!!! Dang, this girl has some major issues. I wouldn't even begin to entertain this relationship and definitely wouldn't let her continue the disrespectful attitude when you're trying to be supportive.
Dawg, I’m sorry, but stop talking to this chick. She’s a freakin psycho, and evidently without any care or respect for anybody but herself. Do yourself a favour; cut her off, and leave her be with her own problems. They’re exactly that - HER problems. And clearly, she doesn’t want any help.
Leave her be, brother
Basically the audacity of that person is what gets me. It's so very obvious how contradictory they are that it's mind boggling that there is no self awareness. It's like they have the impulse to combat every text with some derogatory negativity. And OP still keeps it civil while aptly expressing themselves. I don't understand how this person has any friends or support network with the way they handle being given some actual empathy and understanding. I totally get having "rough patches" in life but this person is definitely one to take it out on everyone else and probably doesn't want anyone to actually listen, to perhaps victimize themselves continuously, is all I can guess. And then to also make some low blows that attack someone else's situation?! The more I analyze this the more irritated I get. Sorry to OP to have to deal with this at all :(
She’s a narcissist, she needs to speak to a therapist about this instead of trying to confide in a friend because she’s clearly going through it. If you ever get a chance to speak to her again I would recommend that she seek professional help with being able to cope with her sister leaving
Brooooooo she stresses me out and I’m not even friends with her. Imagine gaslighting someone that’s trying to be supportive.
If I were going through a crisis I would absolutely want a friend like you to be there for me. You’re amazing.
Woooow... that's creepy. You weren't making it about you at all. Give advice and they complains about it. Hold back in trying to help and they're mad that you AREN'T anymore.. That's crazy. Whether you're trying to listen or trying to give advise you just can't win. Sounds like you got out of their life in the knick of time. I'd let the friendship go if it's a newer one. They sound very childish just wanting to argue with you instead of trying to understand and connect. Snapping back at you isn't warranted when you're just trying to help.
Allllright. I may have tried to encourage understanding on your part when I replied to your first post but now this person is just acting completely irrationally, even in the face of your calm attempts to understand and sympathize. You can’t do much with that. Sorry things went down that way.
Omg this got on my nerves. You demonstrated worry, tried to help them, and they only responded with negativity.
Honestly, it sounds like they just wanted the slightest reason to shit on you.
But i gotta admit the “That’s difficult” made me crack up a little lol, not the best response to that
No, you just don’t understand, you never Will understand! Why don’t you understand?!?!?
I’m kidding, this person is just being unreasonable and immature.
So because you tried to sympathize and let them know you know how it feels when a sister moves out or away... you are making it about you? I didn't seen you making it about you or how I read it. I think your "friend" or ex friend as they might be.... was in pain... & pain makes people act out in weird ways. You weren't selfish. They were hurting and from how I read it they were the rude one.
Thisperson is a narcissist ergo a sociopath. Its an incurable condition of the brain, even if the person is self-aware. Because they simply cannot care. Their emotions do not attach to others, and they are unavle to empathize authentically. Conversations of an emotional nature become transactional to them; you will likely hear whatever you want to hear from them if they have an agenda you can help them progress. Remove this person from your life ASAP; it’s unlikely they will miss you or feel badly about being avoided.
OP, you are a much better person than I am. After the last post, I would not have tried again. You were nothing but kind, and she responded with hateful, self-centered, whiny, and mean. You are clearly a good person, with a kind heart. You deserve better in a friend.
Friendship is not supposed to feel like this - walk away or you will drive yourself crazy tolerating her, trying to avoid all of her nonsensical traps and feeling guilty about any boundary you put around yourself.
Don’t let her crawl back to you when she finds out nobody else will listen like you did
Omg this, I had a friend who would only come around when he had baggage to dump and when times were good I didn't exist. Drop that like a bad habit
So many ppl like that. It gets old.
I have a friend like this currently. How did you go about dropping them? I'm trying to be somewhat nice about it whilst drawing a firm boundary. Don't care if they never contact me again though, haha.
Just ghost. Or if u can't bring urself to ghost, send a message "I'm done. I can't do this anymore with u" and then block
I've tried ghosting before, and I just get guilted into responding. I think I'm just gonna tell them that I don't like how they treat me and I'm done with it.
Ghost and then block for awhile. Blocking is not immature it's about choosing your peace of mind first and foremost.
Turn off text notifications and it will slowly break you out of worrying/wondering when he/she reaches out.. it gets easier I promise
What I did was legit just block everywhere, no phone, no Facebook or email. Nothing. For other reasons, I also moved out of the state, which helped me, but is completely optional 😂
You really said ***BLOCKED***✋
Bitch told me I was taking care of her new pet snake while she went out of state to stay with a guy who happened to be at one of her waitress tables one night 🙄 and she told me that my two children (8-9 months and 3) weren’t allowed in, and would have to wait for me in the common living area while I did whatever for the snake and changed her betta’s water. Not asked if I would. Told me I was. I had a lot of problems with her. This was just the last straw 🚫 bye Felicia.
Good for you! What a miserable person she sounds like
Blocking them is a good way to Lego
That's how you do it. I dropped someone like that a while ago just like this. She tried guilting me into responding but I just told her it was over and while I loved her I couldn't keep her as a friend with how she constantly treated me as her emotional dumpster only when it was convenient for her and would barely acknowledge anything I told her about myself. She got pretty nasty after I told our mutual friends and told one of them I should kill myself and that me ending the friendship was just me taking out my inability to socialize on her (?). I promise you they will get nasty after it ends but if you've got others to help tide you through it then it's not a problem at all. Good luck!
Wow, that is just awful, no one deserves that mean selfishness. I'm glad you broke up with her, that was emotionally & mentally exhausting, I'm sure, and sounds dangerous. No one should hint at someone else killing themselves oof.
I told my ex-bff "I don't feel we are compatible as friends anymore". The wrath that this girl unleashed...
I’m a lot like you in this regard, but definitely use caution in sending anything at all when they’re in a mood like this. No matter how reasonable your message is, you can expect it to be used as fuel for the fire. Consider preserving your peace of mind and stepping back without an official notification. You don’t have to full on ghost of course, but definitely don’t initiate anything if the previous exchange has ended.
For real. I'd say fuck off, I'm not your punching bag. *blocked*
I just listened to a great podcast about setting boundaries with toxic people by saying I'm so weak and pitiful sorry I can't handle this, and then not responding, so the other person doesn't feel attacked. Eventually they'd get bored and find someone else to vent to instead of you. I've noticed when I used similar techniques to this in the past it worked really well. Like if someone is really nasty, I could immediately defuse the situation by saying "I'm an idiot, you're right, how would you like to move forward?" and then they'd start being really nice to me and say I'm not an idiot and take responsibility for their own actions. There are ways to abuse this but if you do it right it is paydirt. I'm terrible at conflict but I tried it out yesterday with someone being toxic and it went pretty well.
You're SO right. My husband taught me this. I'm like boy I have TOO MUCH PRIDE. But it works 100%. Cause you take the challenge off the table.
Unfortunately, yes, this is the best method. You'd think it would serve everyone to tell the person what the issues are, be honest so they can hear their friends perspective & hurt, to work on themselves etc., but that just isn't going to happen & they'll simply feel even more vindicated in their behavior & attack more. It's a no-win situation, so the best action is to just save yourself.
Truly awful, horrible and self-centered person you do not need in your life. It’s almost comical how horrible they are. Cut bait.
The real winner here is the sister. She no longer has to live with this batshit.
Ew she needs to get over herself. You were doing a fine job being supportive. If she wanted to dictate the whole interaction herself she should have spoke to herself in the mirror.
My jaw literally dropped at “why are you acting like this? I’m the one that just needed a friend and you keep making it about you…” etc… that entire text was way out of line, but that specific part.. especially about the job.. what the fuck? When she comes crawling back, send her that screenshot and that’s it. She sounds like a real POS and you’re clearly a better friend to her than she is to you.
YES! If she comes back, just show her what she said. She’s insaneee. Op was trying to be helpful the entire time!!
She went a little overboard when she said that. She was probably still upset about her sister moving, but she found excuses to take it out on me
Dude, her sister *moved out*, she didn’t *DIE?!!!* she needs to calm tf down, all the way down.
Right?! Did they just assume they’d live with their parents together until they were in their 50’s? People move out…
Honestly, if she’s so close to her sister, why isn’t she talking to HER about it?
Obviously because her sister has never had an older sister move out and thus, could never possibly relate to how she feels /s
🤣🤣
🏆
Exactly. Like my siblings (there’s 4 of us), moved out, we were like…ok, have fun! First older brother, then me, then younger brother. Sister is next when she clears college and finds a job. We’re all very very close, yet no one thought “we have to stay together or we’re gonna have a mental breakdown.” What gray text is describing isn’t “closeness” it’s emotional dependency. The sister probably WANTED to move away from her sister to get some space and move on with her life. OP might want to try doing the same thing…
As my older sister was moving out of her room, I was moving my stuff into her room simultaneously 😂 I’m super close with her, I definitely missed her when she moved out, but I was ready for the bedroom upgrade! (Way bigger room, with a bathroom and 2 walk in closets and getting the entire basement to myself)
NO LITERALLY SAME same day she moved out, i cleaned every single mess she left behind because we shared a room and dear lord was she messy love her tho
My younger bro did the same thing. That did piss me off. Cause I was the older brother. It made sense for me to get the big room (we’d shared one previously). Nope younger bro got it by virtue of simply moving in haha. Opportunistic little fucker. Obvs, I don’t care now. It’s just funny thinking about it cause that was the only conflict involved with older bro moving out. Now he’s got a house and 3 daughters. Someone help him hahahaha.
Oh heck no, I was next in line, I earned that room and I’d have beat someone’s butt and moved their stuff right back out as I was moving mine in! Lol I feel your pain, I’m a middle child also
Yeeeahh, these days I absolutely would because my emotions are more or less sorted out now. Back then…let’s just say comparing 18 year old me to a pickle wouldn’t be too far off the mark. But yeah, middle child is a tough place to be. Folks are teaching the oldest to be responsible and the youngest to have fun which leaves the one in the middle with most of mom’s emotional burden. At least, that was my experience of it.
Holy shit I just commented this and saw you'd said the same haha thank fuck I'm not alone in thinking she's being pathetic
I was just thinking this but then I remembered I’m an only child, so I wasn’t planning to bring this up because clearly I don’t have the experience. But most of my friends do have siblings, and none of them were like this when the oldest moved out. If she’s this torn up about her sister moving out (assuming she’s still close by) she needs to be talking to a therapist not a friend. She’s acting like her sister moved to another country and will never be seen or heard from again.
Honestly! This girl is being so dramatic like she’s never going to see her again.
I agree and this ain’t the 40s or 60s, there’s something called FaceTime and texting 😂😂😂
Her sister just moved out? That's it? She didn't die or something? She just.... Moved out? Lmao she sounds pathetic, dude. Talk about making things all about you lmao sounds like she's upset her sister is getting the attention for a little while.
Gee, I wonder why the sister wanted to move out. 😆
Came here to say the same thing. Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to live with such a drama Queen?
bright ten crush drunk beneficial voiceless meeting water live axiomatic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
A little overboard?? Wow- she is insufferable and if you think this is just “a little overboard” then I would not want to see her when you think she is going full on. She was rude full on and came in low about your job- to me, this shows she knows she can use you as her punching bag. She seems very young almost like a teen talking to her annoying mom. I don’t know if you two are friends or dating but whatever relationship it is is not good.
*a little?* Shes tryna kick you while she's down
Not even a little. Way overboard. She's a horrible person and this just proves it. Sod having anything to do with someone THAT toxic. Don't make excuses for her
She did not go a “little” overboard, you are being way too permissive. I’m all for understanding people act out when they’re emotional, I do it too. This was bizarre. She’s going to reach back out to you when nobody wants to listen because they can’t ever say the right thing, and you need to show her what she said and cut her off.
Honey, that's not "a little overboard" she went psycho on u. My literal mother figure died early due to breast cancer but I NEVER treated anyone with that much contempt/hatred because of it. If anything, I did exactly what u did: delved deeper into my hobbies and surrounded myself with the people still in my life. But as others have pointed out, her sister didn't die. She's still alive so this behavior is extremely gross
So sorry for your loss
AYYY SHE HIT EM WITH THAT “K” LFG!!!!! On a serious note, it looks like you said the right things and still could not make this person happy. Tell them to talk to an AI perhaps.
She’s gonna be asking AI what their problem is and why they’re so selfish and self centered
"What's [OP]'s problem and why is it never me, ever?"
AI will just bend over backwards and apologize for it, maybe she has been talking to AIs and forgot how to talk to a real person
YESS
So funny my first thought was maybe she should speak to AI so she can get the responses she wants, then I realized she still wouldn’t be happy and should use the mirror.
That person is insufferable.
Reading their texts infuriated me. Like how could you talk to someone like that. Especially someone you call a friend.
No offense but she sounds like a rude bitch
None taken
They sound exhausting.
I had a friend like this. She was talking about something that I was also interested in, and in the conversation, mentioned my interest and offered some advice because she was having some issue with it, and she went “okay but we’re not talking about you, are we?” And her boyfriend and I just sort of looked at each other. We are no longer friends, to say the least lol
My ND friends and I always swap anecdotes to relate to one another, but I've found that a lot of people get *insanely* offended if you bring your own experience into a conversation after they share theirs. I've learned to just nod and listen. But with a person like this (if this is even real) there's just no winning.
block her don’t deal with this bs omg
Oh my god. She just projected herself so much I think I just saw an x-ray of her soul on that last “look at yourself! Going on about how you’re *better than me* when you barely have a sustainable job.” Whoooah there Nelly!!! Whoaaah girl, whoaahh!!!! Nearly threw me off Reddit completely that was so wild!
that really took me off guard. That’s when you hit ‘em’ with the ‘k’
if you wanna smack her back, send her the link to this post. princess sister gone should know how she comes off to people.
That would be fkn great!!!
The funny thing is, you guys are teens still so having a “sustainable job” is very few and far between for you guys 😂
I saw the first post but I need some more context to this whole thing, about how old is your friend here? You guys have to be real young I’m assuming?
I don’t want to reveal our exact age but we’re both teenagers
You’re clearly the more mature person in this “friendship” and I’m sorry she doesn’t value you or your feelings. She has a lot of growing up to do and will likely learn the hard way that the world doesn’t revolve around her.
Man I don't know, I was a shitty ass teenager too but the way she speaks to you is showing some major dysfunction in her thinking and emotional regulation, even for an age where most people are still shaky on behaving maturely. Teenagers can be very quick to lash out with harsh words or send a shitty text message, but she is actively taking steps to push you away and make you feel shitty for the entirety of your recent communications. Obviously it's impossible to tell just from some text messages back and forth, but if she gets diagnosed with some sort of anti-social personality disorder 10 years from now I definitely wouldn't be surprised. I would suggest you find other friends who will treat you well and respect you being willing to listen and talk to them when they're feeling down, personally.
Yeah that’s what I meant when I asked and said about, that’s a perfect answer, I hate for you two, to stop being friends over this but it seems like she has some issues going on, so maybe just leave her be for a while and once she gets over this spell she will hit u up again and maybe even apologize for it
Okay this explains a lot. This is undeveloped frontal lobe acting up. They don’t want to feel better they want to thrash around until their nervous system resets. Nothing you say is going to help because they’re feeling totally dysregulated. Best bet in these situations is to just say “I’m so sorry you’re suffering, that is a terrible feeling. I hope things improve soon” and then walk away for a little bit until they reset. Perfect responses are not possible, you’re doing your best to help. When someone is this upset the logical part of their brains basically turn off, which is why they don’t make a lot of sense. All you can do is tell them you care about them and wait for their brains to turn back on.
Yeah nah, what a shitty person. Let that ship sink
Also, are you guys like 15 or something? She sounds incredibly immature, but I’m afraid you’re going to be like “no, we’re both 23”
hahaha we’re teenagers
She honestly sounds like someone who is completely clueless socially. Her very specific requests (“Do you know anyone who’s had a sister move out exactly the same amount of time my sister has been gone? Also, they must be my height and weight, eat the same foods as me and share a birthday with me.” 😆) and her complete lack of awareness of how rude she is being makes me think she might be autistic or possibly on the spectrum. That doesn’t justify the behaviour, and its on her to learn how to interact with other people properly.
Ohhhh fk this bitch! You are better than me when you hit her with the “k” I would have hit her with the “f you, you ungrateful narcissist bitch! No wonder your sister left! To get away from you insufferable ass!” But that’s just me. # stay petty my friends
Personally, I like your response better
I'm pretty sure that type of response is actually what she's looking for. My bet is she does this when she's upset, picks around until she can stoke up a fight with someone so she can get that emotional release. She's likely (esp. considering her age) not even aware she's doing it.
🚩🚩🚩 this person is in no way your friend if they’re going to gas light you about trying to comfort them
👆🏻👆🏻💯
This person is kind of a piece of shit, op. They’re exhausting and selfish.
Maybe her sister left because she's insufferable .. lol
This person is genuinely sad and has every right to be, but I hope you can see that they’re using this situation as an opportunity to put themself in the spotlight. It’s a pity party. They want you to dote on them and they became upset at any mention of something besides them and their specific circumstance. It’s not absurd for you to share your own experiences that relate to this person. You mentioned that you’re a teenager, please know that friends come and go and you don’t need to tolerate people that act like this. I hope this person gets to a point where they can recognize that this behavior is not okay, but you’re not responsible for making them have that realization.
You have the patience of a god. This person sucks on a very deep level, and it’s best to just move on with your life and leave this banana in 2023. You tried, SO hard and they spit in your face.
She got annoyed at you that you can't relate but when you try to relate, she says you're making it about yourself? This girl is determined to be miserable. Don't let her drag you down with her!
Exactly my thoughts, it’s like everything I say won’t have a good outcome
I want to know how you are making it all about you? I don’t see that at all. It sounds like you are trying to sympathize with her and she is just being a jerk in return. Edit: fixed spelling
She wanted someone who understood what she was going through, but I wasn’t allowed to mention my experience at all, which makes absolutely no sense
Exactly. If she wanted to talk to you about something she is going through, it makes sense that you would mention your similar experience to show you empathize with her. How old is this person? They act like they are 13. lol
One of the worst people to ever exist
block that bum tbh
I love how she wanted someone who could relate due to personal experience and then, when you brought up your personal experience, she threw a tantrum. This person doesn't seem very bright.
You aren’t selfish for reaching out… you tried it’s just that the other person was too sensitive and demanding. You’re better off without that kind of energy and drama. Everything you say would just be thrown back to you.
This person is an energy vampire...literally sucking the life from you...
You deserve better. You were more than patient with her. She overstepped really bad. I could forgive a little bit of snappiness due to emotional stress, but your real friends will have enough self awareness when it's called out to apologize and she isn't. Please, do what's best for you and distance from this. She needs a lot of time alone to reflect on how she treats others.
Wow. I've never actually met someone I'd so easily drop lol. I feel like they cannot possibly be good company at any point, Jesus. Plus they said it's unfair they're sister left. They very clearly just find people to blame when they feel things they don't like to feel, even if no one is at fault at all. Maybe this is extra hard on them because they're finding it hard to blame they're sister. So they're msging you in an effort to go through their usual habit of getting angry at someone to feel better.
You gave advice, she didn't want that. You gave a listening ear, she didn't want that. You tell her how she's making you feel, she insults you. OP, it just sounds like this person is looking for a reason to lash out at you. There's nothing empathetic or even reasonable in her responses. I'd reevaluate this relationship.
i bully bullies, just saying
Dang dude, I’m not great at keeping friends but at least I’m not self centered… stay away from them. Them some narcissistic traits…
Who is this crazy person to you?? What a wild conversation! You can't say anything right! Lol But I see your care and effort and I appreciate you!!
Yeah, I had no idea what she wanted me to say. Thank you, though!
Don't be friends with this person.
⛽️ 💡 🚩
I have absolutely 0 idea what this person wants “I’m going through a tough time” “Here’s advice on how to make it better” “I don’t need advice from someone like you, stop being selfish” “Okay, I won’t give you advice and just console you” “Why are you just consoling me? Don’t you have anything more to say?” “Literally what do you want from me” “Nevermind, gonna talk to someone who will actually listen”
Nah don't talk to them anymore. That was so toxic even a cobra would wince.
She was getting interpretation from that chat that was literally nowhere to be found. They put you in a lose/lose situation. No matter what you said, you were going to be wrong and terrible and they’re the super victim cause first the sister and now the friend 🙄. Honestly, block this person’s toxicity from your life.
This person is unhinged af! How old are they? What is this obsession with their sister? Good advice for them is to be happy for their sister and maybe try to find independence in this new life! But yeah, stop talking to them. They are disrespectful
Are you talking to a child? Maybe around 8 yrs old? Or perhaps a 13 yr old who has regressed? It does read like you are a parent trying to support a badly socialised child. If you are, remind them to stop being so rude and that you are taking time out your own day to try and support them and that you can't do anything to change the situation. Say you understand its upsetting but them taking their feelings out on other people doesn't work for anyone in life. If they are older, maybe talk about the grieving process, esp the anger phase and that it doesn't just happen when someone dies. It can happen when someone moves away or life changes suddenly because something that was always there isn't there anymore. If its a teenager, the reasoning areas of the brain do retract a bit so the adult independent mind can grow and replace the juvenile mind and that can effect their reasoning skills for a while.
My internal dialogue was screaming FUCK YOOUUUUUUUU at that conversation. You can't do right for doing wrong, might as well talk to a 2 year old.
Jesus. You're just relating to them and they just blew it out on you like that? And yeah they think their connection is better than you with your sis? Thats some narcissistic shit like wtf? You can realte to them cuz you both have sisters who moved away. So yeah you did good saying you know how they felt about it. And then you complied to letting them talk and they have the audacity to tell you "Thats it?" Thats some toxic shit.
Nah fuck her. You were using your own experiences to give her advice, NOT making it about yourself. She sounds manipulative as fuck and tbh it’s better you aren’t friends with her. I’m sure the weight of her bullshit felt great to get off. Also, the projection, holy fuck. She sounds musty.
Yeah, I’ve learned that some people lash out when someone tries to comfort them. They are impossible to please, and will exhaust you for trying. You made a good effort here, but they are just using you as a punching bag.
No wonder the sister moved away ! Gawd!!
They seems insufferable. Stay nc with this person.
I’m ngl this update made me even more mad. Lol talking to someone like that would have her talking to my fists and I mean that. I was waiting for you to curse her out and it never happened 😭 I’m sorry this happened to you OP I really am but this pmo😭 I almost thought this was a joke bc of how insane her responses are. Don’t be friends with this bitch.
Not a friend, a bully. She wanted to be the victim and use her victim complex to put you down any chance she got and instead of letting her, could've blocked and left her
Gaslighting 101.
Person on the left in that conversation is a 2735% whack job with serious mental issues. Wouldn’t associate with them anymore since they are combative, manipulative, and unstable
This person is making me want to rip my eyeballs out since the last post. BLOCK PLEASEEEE
No you are not. You tried to listen, give advice, and she didn't take it. Changed her mind everyinute about wanting someone to listen. It's just petty
This seems fake.
Yea move on, this is out of your control. Your friend might be going through emotions and messaging you out of emotion. Maybe call your friend in a few days and see how your friend is doing?
Yeahhhh I'm gonna say whoever grey is an attention whore bitch. If she is going to throw low blows at you, then I got a comeback for you! "Well it's no wonder your sister moved out" Use wisely!!
thank you so much, saving this for later
Idk WHAT she wanted out of you bc you were clearly being as helpful as you could… we relate to each other and that helps us empathize with others, some people do it selfishly but you werent!
Well it’s understandable that her reactions might be a little over the top after her sister just died. Oh… the sister’s not dead? Just moved out? Still alive? Okaaaaaay
You seem like a wonderful friend. This other person is an absolute waste of time.
You know, as you get older, you start to recognize that you don’t need people like this in your life. She is insufferable and really bad at communicating.
This person is not your friend. Don’t reply to her anymore. You deserve better than that.
This was way out of line. You were being supportive and she didn’t feel it felt supportive in the way she deemed it to be so she throws a tantrum? Is she 5? Her sister moved away - she didn’t pass away. She’s not in wit sec. She’s exaggerating for attention. It’s sad. When my sister moved across the country, I cried. I missed her. But I sure as shit didn’t take it out on everyone around me. I know they say misery loves company but it doesn’t mean you HAVE to make everyone miserable around you because you’re insufferable. And that’s what she is. She’s unreasonable, insensitive and self centered. Throwing digs and insults at you just to make you hurt, too. That’s not a friend. That’s rotten garbage that needs to be taken out with the trash. You can surround yourself with much better friends who will appreciate you and your efforts. Man, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that exchange OP.
I consider myself a patient person, but you are a saint. I wouldn't listen to a childish tantrum like that for long and start ignoring them the moment they start treating me like a cigarette butt.
That’s so shit. “I’m going to bring up your sister. Why are you now talking about your sister?! I just need you to listen. Now I need advice. Why won’t you listen?! Ugh!” Fuck that noise…
You can’t win with this one 🤷♀️ and to answer your question, no, you are not selfish. She said you’re making it about yourself - no, you were just trying to relate with her and offering a suggestion. Then she says she doesn’t want advice, but finds fault when you try to be a listener instead. What were you supposed to say then, if she doesn’t want suggestions from you? If sympathizing with her by talking about similar experiences (which some people find comforting, knowing they’re not alone in this struggle) somehow makes it “all about you”? What else is there other than to agree, “that sounds difficult,” and give her space to keep talking about her feelings? To sum it up: You: do you want me to listen or do you want advice Her: no Also, someone who doesn’t “give a shit” wouldn’t be listening to and replying to her. I get she’s upset, but lashing out at you and insulting your job is a bit uncalled for, and she’s finding fault with anything you say. She’s hurt right now, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem like there’s anything you can do for her if she’s rejecting literally everything you do. This interaction sounds draining on you, and it’s important to take care of yourself as well, even if it means distancing yourself. Hope she finds someone else who meets her criteria.
Thank you! I’ve found that nothing is going to please her at the moment, so I’ve decided to leave her alone
Uhhhm it honestly seems like that person didn’t really read any of the messages you sent them…. I definitely think you should drop them as a friend, that’s just exhausting
Yeah no. You’re being supportive. That person is nuts. Nothing you did was good enough. They’re gonna need to find somebody else to kick around I guess. Save yourself the headache.
She needs therapy ASAP I’m not even joking.
Sounds like someone needs 🌟therapy🌟
Block her. Shes obviously being a cvnt on purpose.
I would’ve snapped😂
I saw the original version and the update. I literally just cut lose a “friend “ like this. They would always put me down, lash out at me, and tell me I didn’t understand, when I would empathize with them. You literally tried everything and it isn’t what they wanted, but more importantly, the way they TREATED you when it wasn’t what they wanted is what’s so telling. They are putting you down as a means of feeling better. We’ve all been there before, we vent to someone and their response just makes us feel more lonely, it’s not the vibe. That happens. But she is literally taking her sadness OUT on you and resents you. You cannot change someone’s feelings of resentment. In this case, they resent that you seem to have a larger family/supportive family, which they equate to not being as lonely as them, and they probably resent other things about you too. Not that you need to understand them, but imagine being in abject poverty, and a rich persons like “I’m so sorry this is happening to you, sometimes I can’t buy coffee because I forget my wallet at home, I’m here for you and I’ll listen.” Nothing that rich person says, no matter how understanding, will make the poor person feel good. That is the power of resentment. By the way, this analogy is NOT 1 for 1, your loneliness is so valid and your feelings for your sister deep. This analogy was to explain why your friend is lashing out at you, and how THEY see you, and is not a reflection of reality. She attacks you as a way to feel better. Run.
This is fane gotta be
Jesus Christ. Do they have other symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder? Because either they’re incredibly immature, BPD, or both. Everything you said was supportive and compassionate, and not once did you make it about you, and they even resorted to insults. Wtf? I’m truly taken aback by this. You had way more patience than I would’ve, I would’ve given up on the second page. I don’t think being friends with this person will do you any good.
I see the comments about their age. I have grown aunts and uncles that act like this. My advice, keep distance. People like this are never happy. You will never be good enough for their misery. Just surround yourself with people who spark joy in your life.
She's the selfish one, not you. You tried to help and it wasn't good enough for her. What does she want you to do? She sounds like an exhausting person. Find a better friend lol
ah yes, the simple minded manipulator. truly don’t understand how people are baked this way
My sister also moved out a week ago but I didn't become a bitch. When she'll crawl back to apologize tell her to fuck off, you don't need friends that don't appreciate you. I had no one to talk to about my sister moving out, and if someone was there for me like you tried to be for her, I'll be grateful and won't project my sadness.
Move on. Even though she is upset, she is way too ignorant for you
Her sister probably couldn’t wait to get away from her.
You tried to be there and got slapped in the face and then gaslit about the whole thing… guarantee they come crawling back in a week or 2 after they realize they’re actually alone now
Absolutely not, you are NOWHERE near selfish. I get they're going through a lot of pain and feelings right now but that is no way to speak to someone or an excuse to do so
This behavior is purposeful. You'll never have anything to offer as she keeps moving the finish line. If you are helpful, then she'd have to move away from being the victim. Your patience and kindness probably irk this person. Don't waste your time. You are not selfish.
Nothing you say is right. Don’t ever talk to her again
wtf is even wrong with that person? They say they want one thing from you, you do that thing, and they go off on you. I’m so confused.
I bet her sister couldn't wait to get out of that house. If your "friend" is responding to you like this, she's 10x worse with her family. It's more than just grief. She's irrational in her responses. Must be an exhausting little dictator at home.
what an insufferable bitch.
This is so insane that I doubted it was real. You’re a saint, OP
I honestly thought you were talking to a 12 year old until the subject of work was brought into play
This is ridiculous! She was looking for a fight, and no matter what you said, it wouldn't have been right or good enough. She is acting like a silly brat! Run and find a nicer friend!
That sister didn't just move out. She ran the F away from that nutcase!!! Dang, this girl has some major issues. I wouldn't even begin to entertain this relationship and definitely wouldn't let her continue the disrespectful attitude when you're trying to be supportive.
Dawg, I’m sorry, but stop talking to this chick. She’s a freakin psycho, and evidently without any care or respect for anybody but herself. Do yourself a favour; cut her off, and leave her be with her own problems. They’re exactly that - HER problems. And clearly, she doesn’t want any help. Leave her be, brother
She's truly a piece of shit
What a POS… the person you’re texting, not you
Yeah this person is toxic, you're better off without them
Info: are yall in highschool?
Im not sure who is who, but the person whose sister moved away needs to grow the fuck up. Jesus, what an absolute baby.
Tell her to talk to her sister... By texting her! XD
Basically the audacity of that person is what gets me. It's so very obvious how contradictory they are that it's mind boggling that there is no self awareness. It's like they have the impulse to combat every text with some derogatory negativity. And OP still keeps it civil while aptly expressing themselves. I don't understand how this person has any friends or support network with the way they handle being given some actual empathy and understanding. I totally get having "rough patches" in life but this person is definitely one to take it out on everyone else and probably doesn't want anyone to actually listen, to perhaps victimize themselves continuously, is all I can guess. And then to also make some low blows that attack someone else's situation?! The more I analyze this the more irritated I get. Sorry to OP to have to deal with this at all :(
She’s a narcissist, she needs to speak to a therapist about this instead of trying to confide in a friend because she’s clearly going through it. If you ever get a chance to speak to her again I would recommend that she seek professional help with being able to cope with her sister leaving
Brooooooo she stresses me out and I’m not even friends with her. Imagine gaslighting someone that’s trying to be supportive. If I were going through a crisis I would absolutely want a friend like you to be there for me. You’re amazing.
Woooow... that's creepy. You weren't making it about you at all. Give advice and they complains about it. Hold back in trying to help and they're mad that you AREN'T anymore.. That's crazy. Whether you're trying to listen or trying to give advise you just can't win. Sounds like you got out of their life in the knick of time. I'd let the friendship go if it's a newer one. They sound very childish just wanting to argue with you instead of trying to understand and connect. Snapping back at you isn't warranted when you're just trying to help.
Allllright. I may have tried to encourage understanding on your part when I replied to your first post but now this person is just acting completely irrationally, even in the face of your calm attempts to understand and sympathize. You can’t do much with that. Sorry things went down that way.
Omg this got on my nerves. You demonstrated worry, tried to help them, and they only responded with negativity. Honestly, it sounds like they just wanted the slightest reason to shit on you. But i gotta admit the “That’s difficult” made me crack up a little lol, not the best response to that
No, you just don’t understand, you never Will understand! Why don’t you understand?!?!? I’m kidding, this person is just being unreasonable and immature.
Not at all. Whoever you're talking to in this text is a narcissistic brat. You're better off without her in your life.
So because you tried to sympathize and let them know you know how it feels when a sister moves out or away... you are making it about you? I didn't seen you making it about you or how I read it. I think your "friend" or ex friend as they might be.... was in pain... & pain makes people act out in weird ways. You weren't selfish. They were hurting and from how I read it they were the rude one.
Wow, fuck that shit
Imo you explained your situation which is similar to hers and told her what helped you. Sounds thoughtful, not selfish
Thisperson is a narcissist ergo a sociopath. Its an incurable condition of the brain, even if the person is self-aware. Because they simply cannot care. Their emotions do not attach to others, and they are unavle to empathize authentically. Conversations of an emotional nature become transactional to them; you will likely hear whatever you want to hear from them if they have an agenda you can help them progress. Remove this person from your life ASAP; it’s unlikely they will miss you or feel badly about being avoided.
That person is 💯narcissistic. Don’t feed them
Yea let her wallow in her own self pity… she sounds insufferable, I totally get why her sister left her sorry ass.
OP, you are a much better person than I am. After the last post, I would not have tried again. You were nothing but kind, and she responded with hateful, self-centered, whiny, and mean. You are clearly a good person, with a kind heart. You deserve better in a friend.
Passive aggressive AF
I’m already tired but reading that just made me that much more tired from even trying to think of how you could continue to friend someone like that.
that person was never your friend lol
Just block her at this point
How old are you guys? She sounds about 13
They only give more proof, the only person they care about is themselves.
I feel whiplash from how quickly she escalated things from nothing. Holy cow pie.
This person seems super low capacity. Just repeat the same shit on a loop. Yuck
Friendship is not supposed to feel like this - walk away or you will drive yourself crazy tolerating her, trying to avoid all of her nonsensical traps and feeling guilty about any boundary you put around yourself.
yikes, she kind of seems like she wants to be mad
Bye Felicia you don’t need this, I thought this was fake for a second who acts like this..