I’m a super awkward therapist and also person in general. Sometimes after I interact with the public, I quote Letterkenney and say to myself “I wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward, bud.”
Thankfully usually my awkwardness is endearing and I can laugh about it. And my clients laugh about it all the time. Other times it is certainly less endearing. But I have no other mode of being, so it is what it is haha
I feel like this would be so disarming and authentic for clients working with you. And a great modeling of allowing yourself to be a full person rather than performing all the time.
This gives me so much comfort as a baby therapist about to enter into practicum who is a super fucking awkward human. Ty for the vulnerability and reminder that we’re just humans doing our best in the moment.
Today during a session i lost my train of thought (i work telehealth) and looked away from the computer for a minute to try and remember. Then looked back at the screen and said “sorry, i have squirrels in my brain” 🤣 it was a rough day. I kept stumbling over my words. My mouth and brain go at different speeds sometimes.
Just got out of a session with one of my 8th graders I see and after we ended session, I thought to myself “sometimes my whole job feels like a joke” 🥴
I do telehealth and I'll log off of session and let out a very guttural sign / growl combo after a particularly stressful / overwhelming session.
Sometimes it's also a really guttural "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
My go-to is after they leave, for me to close my office door, and silently mouth “WHAT THE FUCK!?” And then I open my door, and move on with the rest of my day like I did not just hear the most ignorant sequence of words that I’ll likely hear the rest of the week and/or month.
Usually after I see a couple. Especially if they start cursing each other out in session! Couples are work; and the insurance payout is less, for some reason.
Yea, I had one that drove me up the wall. Threw my computer mouse once. I called them the “sponge couple” after hearing the husband repeatedly berate the wife for not wringing out the kitchen sponge. I eventually set the limit that he needed to enroll in individual therapy to address his anger, and when he refused, I terminated. I very rarely terminate but I felt like he was using the sessions to attack his wife, and I was doing more harm than good.
I stopped seeing couples too because it seemed like often they’d come in only after they had started a full on war with each other then they’d use the therapy session to scream at each other and ask for divorce. I totally respect couples counselors!!!! I cannot do it
I do individual and sometimes it’s everything to stop myself from screaming “you’re fine, you’re husband is a total asshole and that’s why you’re miserable. Anyone would be miserable with that man.”
Oof, same as a 24 year old lol I often feel slightly awkward talking to parents. I had a parent ask me straight up for advice the other day. I carefully reframed it as giving blatant advice isn’t really part of the job description…
I silent scream all the time and really scream on my drive home. I’m an intern in CMH but it’s the days I’m school based that really make me feel crazy
Not so much anymore. I have grown to accept that my qualities of awkwardness, wordiness, shyness, and miscellaneous quirks are each at various times the secret ingredient behind “I’ve tried therapy so many times before and it never worked. I’m so glad I finally found you.” We’re in the business of helping people to feel seen. That requires my willingness to be seen too.
Internal scream today. Client informed me they are talking to the provider to cut back on their meds since "they are doing so good" literally having AH and VH multiple times per day, command voices to hurt themselves constantly, and paranoia makes it hard to even go to school, yet wants to cut back on meds because "I'm all better"
Often, I am internally screaming for a good portion of the session, as well as before and after. Luckily, because I am telehealth only, my clients can’t see me constantly wringing my hands. As I’m taking notes, if I’m screaming internally, I cope by typing it out. It often looks something like:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH OMIGOD
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
H E L PPPP PLZZZZZZ
IMA D I E
**This actually helps a lot!** When I acknowledge my anxiety briefly in this way, it’s a lot easier to let it go.
Sometimes I feel like a dork and have a little chuckle at my human-ness. But If I find myself ruminating, I stop and give it my full attention. I try to observe and accept what happened, and ask myself is there something important here? Is there something to learn? Then I tell myself to "take the lesson, leave the shame". It really helps to stop the cringe cycle.
When it's less about me and more about having to sit in whatever the clients have brought to the room, I remember that I don't get a prepared agenda. I have to simply be present, stay connected and let it unfold. So when it's done, I let myself discharge however I need- A simple "Fuuuuuuck" can express a lot or I jump around and get the "ick" out and have a brief cry now and then when sadness/hopelessness comes up.
it's such strange work and takes a lot of courage. It's more about the strength to come back to it open and ready rather than never looking like a dork.
In general I feel awkward. Early in my career I did have those kinds of thoughts often. But not so much anymore. Now it’s those sessions that are like pulling teeth that have me internally stressing.
I made a joke in therapy a few weeks ago (my client laughed) and I have spent all the time since then wondering why I said that, was it stupid, and am I a horrible therapist. The struggle is real.
did this yesterday as I sat in silence for 20 minutes with a resistant young client. started the session with him refusing to come back to the office so mom and I went to have a chat and then went back to give him another opportunity. he came back and mom stayed for a few minutes then she left and he put his hoodie on and used his hand as a blocker so as to not allow any eye contact. I got out paper and a bunch of my good markers and just started drawing and throwing out different ideas but eventually just sat in silence til the end of the session. Very frustrating but it's only the second session and I'm definitely in this to help him so I'm not going anywhere lol Suggestions??
almost every time after I walk a client out, i turn back into my office and physically make the scream face to release tension lmao. it helps me regulate between sessions and also is a fun little jokey joke for myself. i’m about to graduate and finishing up my internship and it still sometimes feels surreal and i’m like “jesus ur so awkward sometimes”
Yes I do! Often. And then I start to analyze myself (blame and find fault) to try to determine if I could have responded in a more "therapeutic" way. ACE's then rear their ugly head and I hear myself saying (if I am lucky its in my head only) have you lost your mind? Louder - HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND??- Am I asking myself? Did it slip out directed at the patient? I really hope not. My mother used to say this to me as a young child. Her mother would shame her for saying it to me. God I loved my grandmother. Wait, this isn't about me, what were we talking about? I then snap out of this toxic train of thought, masking like a pro, put caring face on and schedule them for the next time. All of this runs through my thoughts at the speed of light and almost knock the wind out of me. I need a better therapist for myself. Or a long vacation. Maybe both. Sigh...
Yes, sometimes. Sometimes after a particularly challenging session or one where I was like “wtf was that” I’ll just collapse in my chair and let out a massive sigh.
Yes! 100%! If you work in public I recommend asking patients if you can record the sessions for yourself and if you are under supervision or are able to get one. Either video or audio. Also ask them to record it.
It can help alot. Both learning from it and do better, but also to get rid of this feeling . Exposure. It's brutal but it works. Of course everyone can decide for themselves what they do, I know it's not a popular opinion.
Edit: I have a language disability, so it really helps to feel more okay with it when you listen to many hours of it. And also see that the response is much better then you imagined. You can see the progress too with questionnaires and their summary. But I feel that it helps.
Your comment has been removed as it appears you are not a therapist. This sub is a space for therapists to discuss their profession among each other. Comments by non therapists are left up only sparingly, and if they are supportive or helpful in nature as judged by the community and/or moderation team.
If this removal was in error and you are a therapy professional, please contact the mod team to clarify.
One of my go tos after session: "I have a weird job"
Best comment I’ve heard in the sub
I’m a super awkward therapist and also person in general. Sometimes after I interact with the public, I quote Letterkenney and say to myself “I wish you weren’t so fuckin awkward, bud.” Thankfully usually my awkwardness is endearing and I can laugh about it. And my clients laugh about it all the time. Other times it is certainly less endearing. But I have no other mode of being, so it is what it is haha
I feel like this would be so disarming and authentic for clients working with you. And a great modeling of allowing yourself to be a full person rather than performing all the time.
I’ve learned to embrace the times I trip over words or lose my train of thought. That was terrifying in the beginning.
Yes. Hell, sometimes I even internally scream during sessions.
Sticky notes are my friend for this exact reason
LOL my reaction to this too
This gives me so much comfort as a baby therapist about to enter into practicum who is a super fucking awkward human. Ty for the vulnerability and reminder that we’re just humans doing our best in the moment.
You got this!
It has the additional benefit of giving the clients permission to be human. I think it makes us more relatable, rather than being The Therapist
Same here! Just always reminding myself we are human
Girl, just validate and empathize and do no harm. You’re set.
I am the most awkward human being too!!
Yup! Especially if my brain decided to lag and come up with only obscure metaphors. So annoying and awkward.
Today during a session i lost my train of thought (i work telehealth) and looked away from the computer for a minute to try and remember. Then looked back at the screen and said “sorry, i have squirrels in my brain” 🤣 it was a rough day. I kept stumbling over my words. My mouth and brain go at different speeds sometimes.
I frequently say “Let me get my thoughts together”
That’s probably a much better way to put it. Though when i tell clients i have squirrels in my brain i either get a good laugh or a “omg me too!”
My hamster wheel is stuck
Yes and this is so validating as a fellow awkward therapist
Just got out of a session with one of my 8th graders I see and after we ended session, I thought to myself “sometimes my whole job feels like a joke” 🥴
Well. There's this one client ... (silently screams into the cavernous abyss)
I do telehealth and I'll log off of session and let out a very guttural sign / growl combo after a particularly stressful / overwhelming session. Sometimes it's also a really guttural "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
My go-to is after they leave, for me to close my office door, and silently mouth “WHAT THE FUCK!?” And then I open my door, and move on with the rest of my day like I did not just hear the most ignorant sequence of words that I’ll likely hear the rest of the week and/or month.
For me it is more of an implosion: I sink in my chair, or go sit on the porch and breathe deeply.
Usually after I see a couple. Especially if they start cursing each other out in session! Couples are work; and the insurance payout is less, for some reason.
This is why I stopped doing couples therapy. After almost EVERY session I wanted to strangle the husband. Lots of yelling in the car on the way home.
Yea, I had one that drove me up the wall. Threw my computer mouse once. I called them the “sponge couple” after hearing the husband repeatedly berate the wife for not wringing out the kitchen sponge. I eventually set the limit that he needed to enroll in individual therapy to address his anger, and when he refused, I terminated. I very rarely terminate but I felt like he was using the sessions to attack his wife, and I was doing more harm than good.
This is why we don’t see couples if there is abuse. You made the right call,
Thanks! I doubted myself for awhile.
Yeah. It’s usually the husbands.
I stopped seeing couples too because it seemed like often they’d come in only after they had started a full on war with each other then they’d use the therapy session to scream at each other and ask for divorce. I totally respect couples counselors!!!! I cannot do it
I do individual and sometimes it’s everything to stop myself from screaming “you’re fine, you’re husband is a total asshole and that’s why you’re miserable. Anyone would be miserable with that man.”
Me to myself after every session: “wish you weren’t so f**kin’ awkward, bud” (any other Letterkenny fans in the sub?)
Clearly I need to watch this
Can confirm
“Welcome to the Jungle” is one of my work theme songs. Frequently pops into my mind as I’m walking back from dropping a client in the lobby.
Especially after talking to parents
Oof, same as a 24 year old lol I often feel slightly awkward talking to parents. I had a parent ask me straight up for advice the other day. I carefully reframed it as giving blatant advice isn’t really part of the job description…
Same here. I treat eating disorders and sometimes parents are the worst part of the job.
Talking to parents gives me so much imposter syndrome. UGH.
I silent scream all the time and really scream on my drive home. I’m an intern in CMH but it’s the days I’m school based that really make me feel crazy
Yeah my mom often worries bc she’ll hear me scream into the abyss ever so often
This was so timely . To answer the question absolutely!
Not so much anymore. I have grown to accept that my qualities of awkwardness, wordiness, shyness, and miscellaneous quirks are each at various times the secret ingredient behind “I’ve tried therapy so many times before and it never worked. I’m so glad I finally found you.” We’re in the business of helping people to feel seen. That requires my willingness to be seen too.
Perfect timing on seeing this post, just awkwardly finished up a session and wondering how on earth I made it through without screaming
Internal scream today. Client informed me they are talking to the provider to cut back on their meds since "they are doing so good" literally having AH and VH multiple times per day, command voices to hurt themselves constantly, and paranoia makes it hard to even go to school, yet wants to cut back on meds because "I'm all better"
I mouth “what the fuck” often. Not to clients of course 😂
This may be the GTPOT (greatest timing post of all time) Like why am I like this but also, ok fair enough lol
Oh yes. :)
This is too relatable right now.
All. The. Time.
Had that today!! Internal scream - externally said “what is WRONG with me! I was so awkward”
Yeah I personally love screaming fuck after a session
Haha my internal phrase is-- "welp that was weird but I'm doing my best."
I needed this thank you 🙏
1000% yes
I relate to this soooo hard. I stutter and trip over my words so often, the struggle is real lol
Mostly it’s… uhhhhh if I told anyone about that (which I don’t obv) they wouldn’t believe me. Haha.
I definitely... im field based and have definitely yelled on my car about different situations
I scream internally until I can clock out for the day. Then I scream externally on the way home lol
Often, I am internally screaming for a good portion of the session, as well as before and after. Luckily, because I am telehealth only, my clients can’t see me constantly wringing my hands. As I’m taking notes, if I’m screaming internally, I cope by typing it out. It often looks something like: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH OMIGOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY H E L PPPP PLZZZZZZ IMA D I E **This actually helps a lot!** When I acknowledge my anxiety briefly in this way, it’s a lot easier to let it go.
Sometimes I feel like a dork and have a little chuckle at my human-ness. But If I find myself ruminating, I stop and give it my full attention. I try to observe and accept what happened, and ask myself is there something important here? Is there something to learn? Then I tell myself to "take the lesson, leave the shame". It really helps to stop the cringe cycle. When it's less about me and more about having to sit in whatever the clients have brought to the room, I remember that I don't get a prepared agenda. I have to simply be present, stay connected and let it unfold. So when it's done, I let myself discharge however I need- A simple "Fuuuuuuck" can express a lot or I jump around and get the "ick" out and have a brief cry now and then when sadness/hopelessness comes up. it's such strange work and takes a lot of courage. It's more about the strength to come back to it open and ready rather than never looking like a dork.
And sometimes I scream externally for emotional release.
In general I feel awkward. Early in my career I did have those kinds of thoughts often. But not so much anymore. Now it’s those sessions that are like pulling teeth that have me internally stressing.
And may I add my internal monologue: “shut up!” (Directed to myself about every word that just came out of my mouth to that client)
I made a joke in therapy a few weeks ago (my client laughed) and I have spent all the time since then wondering why I said that, was it stupid, and am I a horrible therapist. The struggle is real.
did this yesterday as I sat in silence for 20 minutes with a resistant young client. started the session with him refusing to come back to the office so mom and I went to have a chat and then went back to give him another opportunity. he came back and mom stayed for a few minutes then she left and he put his hoodie on and used his hand as a blocker so as to not allow any eye contact. I got out paper and a bunch of my good markers and just started drawing and throwing out different ideas but eventually just sat in silence til the end of the session. Very frustrating but it's only the second session and I'm definitely in this to help him so I'm not going anywhere lol Suggestions??
almost every time after I walk a client out, i turn back into my office and physically make the scream face to release tension lmao. it helps me regulate between sessions and also is a fun little jokey joke for myself. i’m about to graduate and finishing up my internship and it still sometimes feels surreal and i’m like “jesus ur so awkward sometimes”
Yes
Yes
Absolutely. And that's when it's time for a little breathe for mindful breathing or looking out the window or anything to calm your mind.
All the damn time
Omg yes. I talk to myself or whatever dog is hanging out with me.
Yes I do! Often. And then I start to analyze myself (blame and find fault) to try to determine if I could have responded in a more "therapeutic" way. ACE's then rear their ugly head and I hear myself saying (if I am lucky its in my head only) have you lost your mind? Louder - HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND??- Am I asking myself? Did it slip out directed at the patient? I really hope not. My mother used to say this to me as a young child. Her mother would shame her for saying it to me. God I loved my grandmother. Wait, this isn't about me, what were we talking about? I then snap out of this toxic train of thought, masking like a pro, put caring face on and schedule them for the next time. All of this runs through my thoughts at the speed of light and almost knock the wind out of me. I need a better therapist for myself. Or a long vacation. Maybe both. Sigh...
Yes
Yes, sometimes. Sometimes after a particularly challenging session or one where I was like “wtf was that” I’ll just collapse in my chair and let out a massive sigh.
All the time
Yes. Yes. Hell yes.
YEEEEESSSSS constantly
Yes. All the time
I cry
Yes! 100%! If you work in public I recommend asking patients if you can record the sessions for yourself and if you are under supervision or are able to get one. Either video or audio. Also ask them to record it. It can help alot. Both learning from it and do better, but also to get rid of this feeling . Exposure. It's brutal but it works. Of course everyone can decide for themselves what they do, I know it's not a popular opinion. Edit: I have a language disability, so it really helps to feel more okay with it when you listen to many hours of it. And also see that the response is much better then you imagined. You can see the progress too with questionnaires and their summary. But I feel that it helps.
It’s good to be a mirror for what is ‘normal’ human experience. It gives them (and reinforces it for ourselves) that it’s normal to be imperfect!
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Mine is literally...whyyyyyyyy