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In my experience, it’s a coworker who poops on the same schedule as you but they always manage to beat you to the one bathroom and unleashes the rage of their god-awful diet creating an inescapable aura of the worst humanity has to offer.
There were a couple of guys in an old workplace of mine who would go in with the sole mission to absolutely destroy the pan and leave it in the worst shitty, splattery mess possible, always trying to one up each other. Sometimes one of them would send a pic on WhatsApp if they were particularly proud of one.
Prairie dogging while some lazy fukker is scrolling on their phone…. Most likely not pooping, but riding the clock. Also, the foot race to the last, or only stall. The guy next to you on the same poop schedule that apparently only eats hot sauce and drinks a case of PBR nightly destroying all that is holy, and leaving a stench that sticks to your skin, the weirdo that feels a need to talk to you from next door There are many poop enemies, but those are a few…….
I've tried that. But it never works. Not to say I'm not an afternoon, evening,and night time equal opportunity pooper, but if I skip the morning one ohhhhhhh there's hell to pay
Does it matter that it was global? Why is that in caps? Isn't it enough that it's 500 people? I mean, if anything, it's better that it's global... less people locally to see you shitting your brains out...
Superfluous wording is redundant.
This comment shouldn’t be needed, but despite so many tools available, people still have a hard time expressing their thoughts in a concise manner.
I attribute pretty much all of my professional success to just being able to communicate effectively, plus some luck.
TLDR: Communicate. Good. Much. Success.
>!Say less words, save time. When me president, they see!<
TL:
Seriously though, being able to form and organize rational thoughts in just enough sentences, words, or paragraphs for that particular audience is a skill that seems to be on the decline. Just enough is very important, keep it straight to the point, time is expensive and no one can ever get time back.
I work in IT, a field that is historically an anti-social industry and subject to lots of jokes about “IT people”. Having good or decent communication skills in IT is like a damn superpower. Seeing emails with completely confusing verbiage being sent to the entire company just blows my mind, like NO, Jill in accounting isn’t going to know how to run “gpupdate /force” in command prompt.
On Reddit you’ll often run into people that just don’t understand paragraphs or spelling, again despite many tools available to us, all which help us communicate better. Grammar mix ups are fine, but using too many words or long run on sentences doesn’t help get your point across. Details like “mods please delete this if not allowed” are not needed, if they’re going to delete your post they’re going too anyways regardless if you give them permission!
TLDR often comes in useful if you do actually have a ton of information to convey, so what is the summary you are expecting someone of varying levels of the company to take away? Same goes for the internet.
Similarly being able to take some facts and make a rational conclusion or hypothesis from them is just so foreign to so many people I work with. Let alone being able to take those facts and conclusion and present it to a leader in the company.
yep. the speaker was an exec who had a moderator, who's job it was to shut her videoshare down. I think most people had only the presentation open. my coworkers were logged in but did not have the video table open, so they weren't aware until I mentioned it. I felt really bad for her.
Note: this happened years ago I think 2015. hopefully she recovered from the embarrassment.
I know it is all in my mind. But when I was a kid, when I wore long sleeve shirts. I always used to be afraid of wiping and putting poop in my sleeve.
I will go even further. I take my shirt off to poop because as a kid I thought when I wiped I would wipe poop on the bottom of my shirt and smell like poop all day.
Now, why do I stand up. So I can get in all the nooks and crannies of my butt hair and make sure I can white glove my bunghole. One wipe that comes out brown, I’m going back down.
lol nice band name
she was in the kitchen at first so, it was innocuous. she started walking around with laptop in hand, and I'm watching like I can't believe it. I said to my neighbor "hey what is this lady doing", he replied "what lady". then suddenly she's in the bathroom dropping trow. I was all 👁️👄👁️
I got up to grab a drink while wfh, and my girlfriend was cleaning her screen and keyboard, and offered to clean mine. I accepted. Came back to find that she had pressed the right buttons on the touch bar to open my mic, camera, and share my screen with my slack chat with my coworkers on a 200+ person meeting.
I have since disabled the touch bar and put a cover on the lens. Never again.
I’ve seen this happen, first hand(no pun intended) while I was presenting, and it was her first day. It was orientation. I was sharing my screen so she was just a little thumbnail and I was trying to convince myself that wasn’t a toilet in the background but then she pulled and layered the toilet paper. Then I paused for questions and turned her camera off but I never said a word about it.
I think this is less of a “leave your computer” problem, and more of a “don’t take a shit with the camera facing you in a global meeting without even checking if your video is off” problem
Well maybe everyone in the call will be a decent human and not screen shot and post it all over the internet for everyone to see for clicks.... fvking AH
i remember the vid for this posted YEARS ago. I can't remember if it was a legit accident or not, it was kinda a long time ago before the rise of all the staged bs, i think she legitimately just had a brain fart (hehe)
She also basically lunged at the camera when she realized. I still wnna say this was a skit or something.
was there a post about this before?? maybe another coworker posted it, but yes the call was recorded. but not sure if the participant video was also captured.
I mean, we saw full bush before and after the defecation. damage was done by the time someone told her. she disappeared from the cam and then the cam got turned off.
When working, I treat my camera like a gun. Don't point it at anyone, unless you are intending to shoot (be on camera), even when the safety (camera off, or camera shutter) is on.
Got caught farting during a meeting without muting the mic and I remember feeling embarrassed. Can’t imagine literally having all my co-workers having to listen to me fighting for my life pumping a poop out lmaoo
Worst thing I saw was a dude accidentally turn on his camera after getting out of the shower. His phone was pointed at the ceiling but you could see the instant shock on his face. It only lasted a few seconds but everyone in my video conference room just traded wtf glances. It was a mandatory meeting and it was probably 10pm where he was.
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Boss made a dollar, I made a dime....
That was a poem from a simpler time.
Now the boss makes a thousand while I make jack…
So gimme my pennies while brown comes out my crack
Oh *dude*....
Whence I relax, my poopchute is a-widen
Omg, I actually got light-headed laughing at this.
Boss makes a buck, I get a Nickel Please pardon me, If I seem a bit fickle.
Thanks for the context, I won't forget
CEO makes 20 million I only make a little bit Since I can't work from home The office is where I shit
Listen, if you guys continue to have these all hands meetings at 6am in my time zone, be prepared to join me for my morning poop.
I don’t know where you are, but 6am is my time too. Are we poop buddies now? I’ve never had a poop buddy…. Had a few poop enemies, never a poop buddy.
Battleshits?
Battleshits.
Hell yeah!
Push too hard, and you're gonna blow an O-ring
Poopchutes and Ladders?
Tell me more?
Yeah I'm a 6 am person too. Problem is I dont get out of bed till 7.
Underrated comment
😂
I’m intrigued by poop enemy, please elaborate
In my experience, it’s a coworker who poops on the same schedule as you but they always manage to beat you to the one bathroom and unleashes the rage of their god-awful diet creating an inescapable aura of the worst humanity has to offer.
There were a couple of guys in an old workplace of mine who would go in with the sole mission to absolutely destroy the pan and leave it in the worst shitty, splattery mess possible, always trying to one up each other. Sometimes one of them would send a pic on WhatsApp if they were particularly proud of one.
Something that would never be said of women, ever.
👀
Prairie dogging while some lazy fukker is scrolling on their phone…. Most likely not pooping, but riding the clock. Also, the foot race to the last, or only stall. The guy next to you on the same poop schedule that apparently only eats hot sauce and drinks a case of PBR nightly destroying all that is holy, and leaving a stench that sticks to your skin, the weirdo that feels a need to talk to you from next door There are many poop enemies, but those are a few…….
I’m 5am, MST
EST
6am is also my poop time
Poop buddies?
Of course! Stinkronization at its finest.
I'm an afternoon pooper myself.
I've tried that. But it never works. Not to say I'm not an afternoon, evening,and night time equal opportunity pooper, but if I skip the morning one ohhhhhhh there's hell to pay
That’s round two, sometimes round three for me 🤷🏾♂️
Yeah the coffee is hitting
this is my worst fear
Just put tape over your camera. And make sure to mute. ALWAYS mute.
https://preview.redd.it/ayyimovfdwxc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbe928d8ee39dc511556f35fce3a76b543599e58 These things are like a dollar.
Why didn't you put it on the right side up :(
I like to frustrate OCD people.
Clean your screen.
Job well done 🫡
Yeah the disgusting screen is doing that fine enough
You sound hurt.
Bet your icons are arranged asymmetrically too
hey hey hey low blows here ;)
Other way around would cover the thing that's either a mic or a lid closed sensor?
Just don't put them on MacBooks or other fully glass front laptops. They will shatter your screen.
My company uses Lenovo ThinkPads and there are lens covers *built into* the laptops...some of my coworkers still buy those things just to be sure...
Might as well stick 5 on, just to be sure…
I have one on mine.
B-but the sound is HALF the experience!
My company automatically mutes and turns off your video for everyone except for presenters
I’d change my name, change careers, and move to a new county.
Does it matter that it was global? Why is that in caps? Isn't it enough that it's 500 people? I mean, if anything, it's better that it's global... less people locally to see you shitting your brains out...
Because now the whole world has seen it!!!!
The shit heard around the world
Don't fire until you can see the brown of their..... stink eye?
Superfluous wording is redundant. This comment shouldn’t be needed, but despite so many tools available, people still have a hard time expressing their thoughts in a concise manner. I attribute pretty much all of my professional success to just being able to communicate effectively, plus some luck.
Tldr; Please? Thanks.
TLDR: Communicate. Good. Much. Success. >!Say less words, save time. When me president, they see!< TL: Seriously though, being able to form and organize rational thoughts in just enough sentences, words, or paragraphs for that particular audience is a skill that seems to be on the decline. Just enough is very important, keep it straight to the point, time is expensive and no one can ever get time back. I work in IT, a field that is historically an anti-social industry and subject to lots of jokes about “IT people”. Having good or decent communication skills in IT is like a damn superpower. Seeing emails with completely confusing verbiage being sent to the entire company just blows my mind, like NO, Jill in accounting isn’t going to know how to run “gpupdate /force” in command prompt. On Reddit you’ll often run into people that just don’t understand paragraphs or spelling, again despite many tools available to us, all which help us communicate better. Grammar mix ups are fine, but using too many words or long run on sentences doesn’t help get your point across. Details like “mods please delete this if not allowed” are not needed, if they’re going to delete your post they’re going too anyways regardless if you give them permission! TLDR often comes in useful if you do actually have a ton of information to convey, so what is the summary you are expecting someone of varying levels of the company to take away? Same goes for the internet. Similarly being able to take some facts and make a rational conclusion or hypothesis from them is just so foreign to so many people I work with. Let alone being able to take those facts and conclusion and present it to a leader in the company.
I haven't been on r/talesfromtechsupport for a long time... I will push my luck by requesting that you share a good story from work with me.
Kevin are you saying Sea World?
That's amazing, thanks for TLDR on this one too! Takeaway, many people don't care for the details.
What did the ~~comments~~ chat say? I’ve never wanted to read meeting ~~comments~~ chat so bad in my life.
every option to chat, PM, raise hand, was disabled. word is, someone who knew her notified her off channel.
The host did her dirty by not kicking her off the call 💀
yep. the speaker was an exec who had a moderator, who's job it was to shut her videoshare down. I think most people had only the presentation open. my coworkers were logged in but did not have the video table open, so they weren't aware until I mentioned it. I felt really bad for her. Note: this happened years ago I think 2015. hopefully she recovered from the embarrassment.
She 100% lies awake at night thinking about this moment
I mean, fuck. I think I would need to quit my job, move to another state, and start a new life.
But it’s GLOBAL! Where ya gonna go now?
Or start an Only fans
rumor is that she did leave about a week later. she was one of the managing directors too.
So you saved this screenshot of her shitting for 9 years, just to post on Reddit one day?
yes. I was cleaning out my old files today
Holy shit! (all pun intended!) I don't know if I could ever, EVER, recover from that! Did she seem.. resilient??
memories like that will never fade unfortunately. Damn i feel bad for her
Lmao I’m over here zooming to the side of pic hoping I could make out a few words
Poor girl.
Forever branded as the "poop girl" inside AND outside the company.
If that was me…I stand up to wipe. They would have seen CPT Longshanks and the danglers.
I've never understood standing up to wipe
I know it is all in my mind. But when I was a kid, when I wore long sleeve shirts. I always used to be afraid of wiping and putting poop in my sleeve. I will go even further. I take my shirt off to poop because as a kid I thought when I wiped I would wipe poop on the bottom of my shirt and smell like poop all day. Now, why do I stand up. So I can get in all the nooks and crannies of my butt hair and make sure I can white glove my bunghole. One wipe that comes out brown, I’m going back down.
How can you sit to wipe? Especially as a man, too much risk.
Same as in the photo. Lean forward and reach back. Stand wiping is so bizarre.
r/brandnewsentence
lol nice band name she was in the kitchen at first so, it was innocuous. she started walking around with laptop in hand, and I'm watching like I can't believe it. I said to my neighbor "hey what is this lady doing", he replied "what lady". then suddenly she's in the bathroom dropping trow. I was all 👁️👄👁️
lol
I got up to grab a drink while wfh, and my girlfriend was cleaning her screen and keyboard, and offered to clean mine. I accepted. Came back to find that she had pressed the right buttons on the touch bar to open my mic, camera, and share my screen with my slack chat with my coworkers on a 200+ person meeting. I have since disabled the touch bar and put a cover on the lens. Never again.
Screenshit did her dirty, got her mid wipe
I’ve seen this happen, first hand(no pun intended) while I was presenting, and it was her first day. It was orientation. I was sharing my screen so she was just a little thumbnail and I was trying to convince myself that wasn’t a toilet in the background but then she pulled and layered the toilet paper. Then I paused for questions and turned her camera off but I never said a word about it.
This was the right thing to do
Dear god, I am so humiliated for her
https://preview.redd.it/3xi9pba75wxc1.png?width=751&format=png&auto=webp&s=838e845c650c48f4250399ab55a4933c0631162e
Everything she contributed was CRAP!
I do not understand people. Leave computer, go to bathroom, come back. How hard is this?
I think this is less of a “leave your computer” problem, and more of a “don’t take a shit with the camera facing you in a global meeting without even checking if your video is off” problem
Was supposed to be all hands, but clearly one hand will be busy some of the time.
“Sheila, can you add some of your thoughts to the analysis”? 🚽🧻
I wonder if she signed the paper work correctly
Well maybe everyone in the call will be a decent human and not screen shot and post it all over the internet for everyone to see for clicks.... fvking AH
Collaboration on a white paper? Her contribution was crap.
If there was ever a better argument for BRB, this is it.
Did she wash her hands before joining the meeting again?
Was recording and AI transcript on?
Oh shit!
That's just shit luck
shidding and farding
At least she wipes
i remember the vid for this posted YEARS ago. I can't remember if it was a legit accident or not, it was kinda a long time ago before the rise of all the staged bs, i think she legitimately just had a brain fart (hehe) She also basically lunged at the camera when she realized. I still wnna say this was a skit or something.
was there a post about this before?? maybe another coworker posted it, but yes the call was recorded. but not sure if the participant video was also captured. I mean, we saw full bush before and after the defecation. damage was done by the time someone told her. she disappeared from the cam and then the cam got turned off.
oof, it was somewhere before but im talking years ago XD im pretty sure it was from covid
I want the video 😂😂
When working, I treat my camera like a gun. Don't point it at anyone, unless you are intending to shoot (be on camera), even when the safety (camera off, or camera shutter) is on.
If you gave to go, you have to go
Damn, is that Jeffrey Toobin again? Guy has the worst luck.
This should be an AMA session.
Got caught farting during a meeting without muting the mic and I remember feeling embarrassed. Can’t imagine literally having all my co-workers having to listen to me fighting for my life pumping a poop out lmaoo
There is no fvckin way to recover from that humiliation.
Wonder how many people on the call pulled out their poop-knife?
Ouch
Found my spirit animal for the week
Poor girl ... it must have been quite embarrassing.
New nightmare unlocked
Why would they even take their laptop to the toilet?
I would die of embarrassment 💀
Some people pay good money to see this stuff.
Business call
SNL predicted this in its first pandemic-lockdown episode: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3byTN8NTCkc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3byTN8NTCkc)
Shitty timing
Nightmare fuel
I guess she didn't like the new org chart
How does one recover from that?
Tech has allowed out literal nightmares to become reality.
Great post
What kind of psychopath wipes standind up?
Worst thing I saw was a dude accidentally turn on his camera after getting out of the shower. His phone was pointed at the ceiling but you could see the instant shock on his face. It only lasted a few seconds but everyone in my video conference room just traded wtf glances. It was a mandatory meeting and it was probably 10pm where he was.
Hitler caught pooping (Adult Swim / Robot Chicken) https://preview.redd.it/8hdn2bq4wwxc1.png?width=863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8cc058847eafd94d2d19d88d343349d1e245ce7
are we sure this isn't an onlyfans subcategory...?
[удалено]
You must be new here.
Here as in.. Earth
I think she wanted to be seen