Write a note like you are head of a crime family and leave instructions to made up names and nicknames on what actions to take after your passing.
Dear family, do NOT ever read appendix A of my last will and instead deliver it to Joe "Four Fingers" Castze.
Then in the said appendix, leave detailed instructions about your criminal organization.
might i suggest hiding them around the house, numbered but skipping a couple numbers... 1,2,3,5,6. they'll be expecting that 4 to show up and never find it.
They’re fuckin expensive man! I got a toy on Amazon for like 40 bucks, and heard some random YouTube sponsored by dragon dildos, with a discount or something. But fuck they’re a few hundred!!
Most of the cost is the platinum silicone. It's non porous and body safe so it won't get little particles stuck in it and it isn't toxic to use. The Amazon stuff is usually porous or toxic and might make you sick over time. Plus BD has lots of variety.
The dragons will call to you, and tell you that it will just be the tip. They are already there and you are about to die. Jest or pleasure, why not both?
This is why we have instructed a good friend of ours where to look for our toy storage in the event we both pass at the same time. Told them: don't look inside it, just toss it in the garbage.
You can always setup an encrypted folder or drive and set it so you always have to enter the password before you can access it. That way there is never a risk of someone finding your pron stash. Our toy stash on the contrary is three lockable hard case storage boxes "small" with quite the collection of X-rated things my kids never should have to see.
The problem is you can copy and paste the file into a flash drive, the flash drive is using Fat32 and has no way to require a password. Now you just opened an encrypted file without the password. It’s an old trick we learned in MCSA a long time ago
That's why you use encryption tools that require re-authentication after x amount of time or you simply logout when done with accessing your encrypted folder. Never save account and password for automatic authentication as that basically defeats security. This way you can't copy the contents to media that doesn't support encryption unless you know the password to access the encrypted folder.
And you can always create an encrypted file on top of a fat32 file system using tools like TrueCrypt and the likes.
I had the same experience when cleaning out the hoarder house of a friend who died unexpectedly.
He was not openly gay but we found a bunch of huge dildos and vibrators in his bedroom. We discreetly got rid of them before his daughter that he had not seen or spoken to for 25 years (due to his ex-wife) got to help us clean the rest.
Daughter concerning I could make her feel better as she felt guilty for having no contact. I could tell her that he was really proud of her and his grandchild. Although there was no contact, he checked her Facebook and was keen to show us her son, and he always told us how proud he was of her. The toxic ex-wife had ruined their relationship.
I had a similar experience with one of my uncles. We all knew he was gay but the older generation had their blinders on. When he passed we had to clean out his house. My brother gets to the bedroom first and finds a bunch of gay porn videos. He takes 5 paper bags worth out of the house and to his car so no one else sees them
A few days later my grandmother calls him and asks him to bring the videos to her because she doesn't want them getting out. He asks if she knows what he has. She says yes and that's why she wants them. So my brother drives 5 bags of gay porn down to our grandmother's house.
A day later she calls him to come get them. She thought they were home videos and didn't want them to get out in the public. My brother picks them up and starts selling them on Ebay. This was back in the late 90's or early 00's
My dad died a couple of months ago, and my sister and I went to clean out his house. I had been doing some stuff outside, and had gone in to help. And she tells me "Do NOT go into the back bedroom, don't even open the door, just don't." I must've given her a look, or she needed to spread the trauma, but she explained why not:
*Because there was a freaking fleshlight just sitting in the middle of the bed.*
...Fortunately she quickly explained that it wasn't Dad's, it belonged to somebody who Dad often let stay with him, but I can't even begin to imagine the horror she experienced.
Hey if you want to deal with somebody's random fleshlight that they left out, more power too you, I sure as hell don't want to touch it, or anything else in that room because if they're leaving that out then they're probably not all that fastidious.
My spouse and I have started making strange things and leaving them around the house, specifically for someone to find when we die. For example, I bought a small knit bag from an estate sale and started putting my hair in it. He has started filling a jar with fingernails, we already had a box of adult toys and a swing. We’re always on the lookout for weird things.
I found nipple clamps and womens underwear at my uncle's when I cleaned it out. I didn't tell family, just threw it out and didn't dig too far in his computers.
I remember one time I threw away a dildo and just tossed it on the top of the trash. I saw the garbage men opening the lid the next day just laughing wiggling it around before throwing it in the truck. 😆
I threw away a shitty vibrator. Wouldn’t you know, it decided during trash pickup was the perfect time to turn back on. The garbage man was quite amused. Caught the whole thing on my doorbell camera.
Honestly, before I die Im gonna buy an array of dragon dildos and leave them all under my bed. Give my family some confusion.
I'm gonna leave a note reading: "My only regret is that I never got to enjoy all that gold. It's in AAARRGGGHHHH--Hhh--."
He must have died while writing it...
He wouldn't have taken the time to write ahhhhh now would he?
Maybe he was dictating to someone else?
Aghhhh
OOOOHH! As in surprise and fright
No, no. A-a-a-argh. Back of the throat.
ahhhhh
Even better, put some coordinates in some far flung place, Iceland or some shit.
Actually about a mile off the coast of Iceland or some shit.
Use the coordinates for Point Nemo
Write a note like you are head of a crime family and leave instructions to made up names and nicknames on what actions to take after your passing. Dear family, do NOT ever read appendix A of my last will and instead deliver it to Joe "Four Fingers" Castze. Then in the said appendix, leave detailed instructions about your criminal organization.
The man who kills me will know what it means
You're not fooling anybody. They're already there, aren't they?
might i suggest hiding them around the house, numbered but skipping a couple numbers... 1,2,3,5,6. they'll be expecting that 4 to show up and never find it.
They’re fuckin expensive man! I got a toy on Amazon for like 40 bucks, and heard some random YouTube sponsored by dragon dildos, with a discount or something. But fuck they’re a few hundred!!
Most of the cost is the platinum silicone. It's non porous and body safe so it won't get little particles stuck in it and it isn't toxic to use. The Amazon stuff is usually porous or toxic and might make you sick over time. Plus BD has lots of variety.
Heh, but fuck
🙂
You never know what day is your last day, so better start gathering your things up.
Why wait? Dragon dildos are fantastic.
They are🥰
Oh yeah, I, too, will purchase some dragon dildos, for confusion purposes, of course.
Spring-loaded ones hidden in every 6th drawer.
Why wait, they’ll be there when you’re dead too, may as well enjoy them before you go.
Any place I can get those for you??
*some closure
Give them a light coat of lube...
The dragons will call to you, and tell you that it will just be the tip. They are already there and you are about to die. Jest or pleasure, why not both?
The Man Show did a sketch on this, a company called Rest Assured
Carolla or Stanhope man show?
We don't speak of Stanhope/Rogan Man Show around here
TIL this existed
I SAID WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!!!
I’ll have to look it up. Her expression was sketch worthy!
This is why we have instructed a good friend of ours where to look for our toy storage in the event we both pass at the same time. Told them: don't look inside it, just toss it in the garbage.
That folder on my computer is named, "Don't Look, Just Delete!"
You can always setup an encrypted folder or drive and set it so you always have to enter the password before you can access it. That way there is never a risk of someone finding your pron stash. Our toy stash on the contrary is three lockable hard case storage boxes "small" with quite the collection of X-rated things my kids never should have to see.
The problem is you can copy and paste the file into a flash drive, the flash drive is using Fat32 and has no way to require a password. Now you just opened an encrypted file without the password. It’s an old trick we learned in MCSA a long time ago
That's why you use encryption tools that require re-authentication after x amount of time or you simply logout when done with accessing your encrypted folder. Never save account and password for automatic authentication as that basically defeats security. This way you can't copy the contents to media that doesn't support encryption unless you know the password to access the encrypted folder. And you can always create an encrypted file on top of a fat32 file system using tools like TrueCrypt and the likes.
I labeled mine as "Smut". If anybody looks inside it at that point, that's on them.
They’re gonna 100% look. Change that to “receipts and bills of sale” or something. No one wants to see any of that.
Except on death. When that's exactly the sort of stuff they might need.
I combed my dad's computer for hours for the last items we needed to finish his taxes, mostly bills and billable. So you are correct.
Seeing your username in a different light now.
Totally naming a band sparkling rainbow dildo in your friend's memory! 🌈 I would have found this hilarious and awesome.
Omg what a brilliant idea, he would love that! Can’t wait to make band tees and wear it at every opportunity my mums around 😂
You absolutely should! I'm sorry for your friend's loss, but it sounds like he had a great time living his life!
Why do I imagine your friend would have laughed his ass off to know that happened??
He would. I could picture him looking down thinking this is comedy gold, bless him
I had the same experience when cleaning out the hoarder house of a friend who died unexpectedly. He was not openly gay but we found a bunch of huge dildos and vibrators in his bedroom. We discreetly got rid of them before his daughter that he had not seen or spoken to for 25 years (due to his ex-wife) got to help us clean the rest. Daughter concerning I could make her feel better as she felt guilty for having no contact. I could tell her that he was really proud of her and his grandchild. Although there was no contact, he checked her Facebook and was keen to show us her son, and he always told us how proud he was of her. The toxic ex-wife had ruined their relationship.
I had a similar experience with one of my uncles. We all knew he was gay but the older generation had their blinders on. When he passed we had to clean out his house. My brother gets to the bedroom first and finds a bunch of gay porn videos. He takes 5 paper bags worth out of the house and to his car so no one else sees them A few days later my grandmother calls him and asks him to bring the videos to her because she doesn't want them getting out. He asks if she knows what he has. She says yes and that's why she wants them. So my brother drives 5 bags of gay porn down to our grandmother's house. A day later she calls him to come get them. She thought they were home videos and didn't want them to get out in the public. My brother picks them up and starts selling them on Ebay. This was back in the late 90's or early 00's
My dad died a couple of months ago, and my sister and I went to clean out his house. I had been doing some stuff outside, and had gone in to help. And she tells me "Do NOT go into the back bedroom, don't even open the door, just don't." I must've given her a look, or she needed to spread the trauma, but she explained why not: *Because there was a freaking fleshlight just sitting in the middle of the bed.* ...Fortunately she quickly explained that it wasn't Dad's, it belonged to somebody who Dad often let stay with him, but I can't even begin to imagine the horror she experienced.
I was expecting a sex dungeon
Omg a fleshlight! 🫢 how scandalous
Hey if you want to deal with somebody's random fleshlight that they left out, more power too you, I sure as hell don't want to touch it, or anything else in that room because if they're leaving that out then they're probably not all that fastidious.
Found my grandpa's butt plug and gay porn during clean up. My uncles were far less amused than I was.
My spouse and I have started making strange things and leaving them around the house, specifically for someone to find when we die. For example, I bought a small knit bag from an estate sale and started putting my hair in it. He has started filling a jar with fingernails, we already had a box of adult toys and a swing. We’re always on the lookout for weird things.
My friend would love this. If he’d had the chance he would had done the same, I salute you :)
I found nipple clamps and womens underwear at my uncle's when I cleaned it out. I didn't tell family, just threw it out and didn't dig too far in his computers.
I remember one time I threw away a dildo and just tossed it on the top of the trash. I saw the garbage men opening the lid the next day just laughing wiggling it around before throwing it in the truck. 😆
I threw away a shitty vibrator. Wouldn’t you know, it decided during trash pickup was the perfect time to turn back on. The garbage man was quite amused. Caught the whole thing on my doorbell camera.