This is so real. The clumsiness resulting in some bang or knock that then seems to make her realise she's wrecked tired and should maybe stay in bed finally!!!!
Same here, tried to tweak his schedule in a million ways, but we could never find his sweet spot. Either not tired enough OR tired AF and moody. And he is only 21m/o, I fear this will get trickier as he grows up. He is now starting to be picky about his books, or how I need to sit in a specific way to read it.
6:30 bath and brush teeth (one cleans kitchen / walks dogs the other gives a bath)
7:00 in room to quiet family time. Me, husband, newborn, and toddler are in her room with dim lights, vitamins, get dressed, practice letters/play with blocks/tell stories (some nights run out last minute wiggles)
7:20 3 books
7:30 one parent and newborn leave; lights off, snuggle in chair, recap day, sing songs, lots of hugs and kisses
8 get serious about going to bed
8-830 rock until drowsy or until she asks to go into her crib
8:30-9:30 our adult quiet time
We really had to shift our mindset when bedtime started to take an hour (before 18 months it took 30 mins max). We now view that time as special with our daughter. We don’t stress about getting out of the room at a certain time. We try to weave in adult time throughout the day so we aren’t totally craving it at night. And we tried to be intentional when connecting (not being on phones) in the shorter time we now have.
Ya! It’s all consuming…but she sleeps through the night, so to us it’s worth it. May change our tune when the newborn requires her own routine. We both WFH so I feel like we get a little extra time with her and each other.
I think it's super lovely as a routine. you're tag-teaming with your partner and incorporating your toddler with so much care and 1:1 time. your routine is quite sweet. I'm a little surprised you're getting judgement.
(your routine is not a possibility in my home -- I don't have the endurance on my own. even so, I can still dreamily compliment yours!)
I honestly love this routine, I even saved your original comment lol it's hard to squeeze everything we need do in that short time between work ending and bedtime - it sounds like you guys have it down!
She’s been falling asleep independently for a while now. We didn’t do cry it out or Ferber, we gradually weaned her off needing us there to go to sleep. We used to pat to sleep so we gradually reduced it, basically. Now I pat her bum twice before leaving the room and she’s good.
Not the person you replied to but my almost 2 year old is similar. Start bedtime at 730 and she’s out by 8. We did sleep train around 7-8 months and she’s been a great sleeper ever since. I have a full conversation with her about how it’s bedtime, it’s time to sleep now. Kisses and lights out. She will lay there and sing songs and babble for 10-15 mins usually and falls asleep on her own.
If you're looking to promote more independent sleep, I highly recommend "Never Too Late to Sleep Train" by Craig Canapari. Book is geared for 1-6 year olds (ie not babies) and has methods more appropriate for those ages for things like nailing down bedtime routine and timing, falling asleep independently, and sleeping through the night.
We sleep trained our child as a baby but around when she turned two we started having a lot more trouble with bedtime, her wanting me there to fall asleep, and also needing help to fall back asleep when she woke up at night. Some nights I only had to sit outside her room for ten minutes but other nights it was more like 45 which was torture. This book saved us from shelling out on a sleep consultant.
Ours also falls asleep on his own - he is about 18 months. If he ever gets fussy after we leave the room its only for a couple minutes then he just settles down and goes to sleep. You just need a routine and a sleepy/fed kid, they will take care of the rest.
Negative. I have 2 very different children that we took the same approach with as far as sleep routines. Worked great for both. Never had to do cry-it-out or anything extreme.
Of course, YMMV, just sharing my experience with these 2.
I did sleep train by the way at 6 months and it doesnt matter!! It all got shot to shit when we went on vacation hahah. My baby who went to bed independently from 6 months to 2 years now takes sooo long (1-2 hours) to fall asleep and i have to lay beside him. Oh well! It wont be forever.
Same. Our daughter usually lays around in crib awake for like an hour which means we probably need to start cutting her nap shorter. But I give her a book (with nightlight on) and a stuffy and she plays with those quietly.
This is my youngest. Little man has always been great at putting himself to sleep. You put him in bed and rolls over, sticks his thumb in his mouth, and is OUT. On rare occasions he'll "fuss" for about 30 seconds before he puts himself down. It's so easy.
His sister? The exact opposite. She HATES being alone. She'll be SO TIRED that she's begging to sleep, but will be adamant that she does NOT want to go to bed. I think she views going to bed as spending ~11h alone. She likes having help to fall asleep: rocking, singing, back rubs, cuddles. You try and give her younger brother that and he'll fight you.
Her bedtime routine has gotten a LOT easier lately for a few reasons: we moved her brother into her room about 3 months ago, she's dropping her nap so she's actually SUPER tired at bedtime, and we got a visual bedtime routine chart that we STICK TO. Way less boundary pushing when we can point at the chart and say, "your checklist says it's time to brush teeth. I don't make the rules."
All this to say, OP, every kid is different, and you just gotta do your best. For reference, oldest is 3.5yo, and youngest is 15mo. When oldest was 15mo, she was having full blown panic attacks at bedtime that we ended up at urgent care for more than once.
We don’t do a bath every night but we walk up the stairs at 7 then brush teeth, potty, pj’s 4/5 books, in bed by 7:30. She falls asleep on her own. Sometimes it takes her 5 minutes, other nights she rolls for an hour.
We sleep trained at 6 months and other than a few blips for illnesses have never had a problem.
2.5 years old over here - it can take dad between 15-30 minutes (when our son allows dad to put him to bed) but with me it’s anywhere between 30-60 minutes 🙃 it’s been this way forever.
20 minutes-2 hours. We do milk, pajamas, brush teeth, books (2-4), and then tuck in. Sometimes there are multiple tuckins required and sometimes he’s upset about it or just super wild after the routine.
If it’s taking an hour to fall asleep he may not be tired enough. Our time from bath to rocking to sleep is about an hour. But we do a lot of books and cuddling before we rock to sleep. But when we start rocking, it’s about 15 minutes and he’s asleep.
Maybe push bedtime back a little and he may fall asleep faster!
It’s a bit vague but it sounded to me like “after bath” takes 45-75 mins, which isn’t too bad. But I agree that 45-75 mins of rocking/actually trying to get them to sleep is too long if that’s the case.
My youngest is now 3.5yo and last night after stories, I said “I’ll be right back”, left the room for 3 mins (I set a timer, we are working up to him sleeping alone). He was asleep by the time I came back into the room. But stories and talking about our day can take up to half an hour.
Some kids hate sleep though. If I didn’t rock my daughter for about an hour she will not go to sleep. & that is at 9pm. Last night I let her stay up until she was visibly tired (mainly wanted to skip the hour long rocking) and she was in bed at 10:30pm
Usually less than 10 minutes after getting in her bed, but sometimes she's spicy, and it's more like 40 minutes. When it's consistently longer, it's a sign that we need a schedule change.
I have a 1 and 3 year old. We did sleep training and have a very set routine so they know what to expect. They’re okay with me leaving the room before they’ve fallen asleep.
Parents can’t pour from an empty cup and I need my 2 hours of me time before I sleep too and start it all over again lol.
I couldn't do it without my evening me time. My kiddo goes to bed at 7:30, and then me and my husband have 3 hours of uninterrupted time to do whatever. It's great for our relationship and our ability to be engaged parents the rest of the time.
We only have 1 and are so happy we sleep trained. She loves bedtime and pretty much throws herself into her crib after her story and song. We get a full evening amd unless she's ill she will sleep through from 7.30 to 6.30/7.
On a good night, fifteen minutes. We do this by taking them out for more exercise between dinner and bedtime. It works in summer but we’re not looking forward to winter..
We have “dance parties” right before nap and bed. LO picks a song or two and we go nuts dancing and running around the house for 5-10 mins to get some energy out and reset her brain for sleep. It was a godsend when we were in the middle of an awful heat wave last week and couldn’t go outside.
To the parents who have milk in their routine, do you give it to them after you brush their teeth? I’ve thought I should do milk beforehand because of their teeth, but it seems like a relaxing treat before bed.
Definitely brush teeth after milk to remove the milk sugar residue from their teeth before bed.
But I don't routinely offer milk at bedtime anymore because if my kid knows she can fill up on milk at the end of the night, she's less interested in eating dinner.
I give her a cup of water instead and she's usually fine with that.
My son is 21 months. We bath him at 7pm, play with him for a last burst of energy in his bedroom while we put on his pyjamas and sleep bag, then we read a story to him, put him in his cot around 7:30pm, and he falls asleep by himself. It usually takes between 5-15 minutes for him to fall asleep, sometimes 30-40 minutes, but he lies there calmly until he drifts off. He's been doing this since he was around 11 months old - before this, we would hold his hand until he drifted off but we realised this was taking forever and wasn't sustainable, and within about a week he was completely weaned off it. We've had a routine of bath -pjs-story-bed since he was about 4 months old though and it's always exactly the same, so he knows what to expect.
I’m SAHP so my spouse comes home from work by 5:45, from then until 7-7:15 we are having dinner, having family time, etc. Around 7:15, she’ll change him, brush his teeth, and sometimes we nurse 5 minutes, sometimes we bathe, sometimes we don’t do either. She takes him to his bed and says good night, puts the sound machine on and walks out. He’s asleep in one minute.
This is after 20 months of co sleeping and nursing to sleep. The second half of my parenthood life has finally begun. 😅
I dont get these post...maybe I'm just a shitty parent?
We tell our 2 year old its time for sleepies. It's 50/50 if she bitches or not, but we change her and give her hugs and lovin' and put her lil ass in bed and close her bedroom door.
Again, 50/50 on if she cries, but if she does, its for like... a minute or two tops? Then goes right out like a light. Wakes up a happy child ready to go when she wakes.
If we don't close her off, she wont go to sleep. She'll be dead tired, cranky, crying over everything...BUT WILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL from going out, the activity in the room and just us in general being around.
I see all these post about, "my kid and i have a hour and 15 minute bed time routine and they still wont go to bed" and i'm left dumbfounded lol.
Every kid is different. If I had tried to do this with my oldest, she would've (read: did) had a full blown panic attack, screamed and cried until she threw up, and then probably hurt herself trying to get to us. You're not a shitty parent (obviously) because you found something that works for you and your kid. You are being unkind, though, by implying that your experience is universal and should work for every family.
This is me too. Our routine takes as long as it takes to change her clothes and diaper 🤷🏼♀️ we read books all day long so don't do that at bedtime. We just lay her down and say goodnight and leave and she rolls over and cuddles her blanket. 23 months old
This is me too. And sometimes I feel heartless, because maybe she would really like if we laid with her until she fell asleep. But if I’m in there, she gets more and more hyper and silly. We read books, sing songs, talk about our favourite parts of the day, hug and kiss, and then I’m gone. And yes, she tries to stall, and will cry for a minute, but then she’s back to playing or singing for a bit before she drifts off, and I’m doing some much needed cleaning or work before my own bedtime.
If you do it pretty much the same way every time, its still a routine! Its their signal that its time for sleep and will prepare them to go down easier. As you said, if you try a different way ("don't close her off") she struggles, and won't sleep.
We do bath, PJs, books, cuddles/song, and then put down and close the door with our 2yo. It's on him to fall asleep. After working up to it, he's been independently falling asleep for a long time now, and if he cries it is rare, and I usually don't respond. Gotta give them a chance to figure it out, imo!
Same here. Your toddler shouldn't be running your life. If you let them decide when to go to bed, it will be never. You're a parent and are there to make sure your child is getting what they need - which is lots of sleep. You're not a shitty parent. You're setting boundaries and structure.
I'm not rocking to sleep. Our routine takes just under an hour starting with bath time and ending with storytime. After the last book I turn on the white noise and hold him for 2 mins (that's my imposed cuddle time) and then put him down to climb into bed. I cover him with the blanket and then I walk out. I have to stand by the gate for about 5 mins and reassure him that I'm still here but the key we've found is turning his head away from the door when we tuck him in. Game changer! Before, when he'd stare at the doorway it would take him an hour with a lot of back and forth to fall asleep. I will note, we did sleep training so there's been an expectation most of his life that he'll put himself to sleep.
Yeah that sounds normal. Mine takes about 30-45 min but sometimes a bit longer of she is really fighting it. She goes from drowsy looking (rubbing eyes/face) to suddenly rolling around in bed and then straight up leaving the room (which I ignore completely because she wants me to chase her), she gets giggly and loopy, then will switch suddenly to a few minutes of a tantrum and scream fest, then she is out! I know to expect this course of events. Is what it is.
I like to think we've got a pretty good routine here, and my newly three year old is generally very happy and well adjusted (and well behaved!)
However - bedtime is our number one struggle, hands down. This guy has never been a fan of settling down for the night, and while he does sleep through the night, it took until he was over two years old to achieve that. We have a strict bedtime routine that takes about 60-90 minutes (similar to yours: bathtime and jammies, toothbrush, stories, sing a few songs or quietly watch a pre-selected YouTube playlist of songs together, and a quick snuggle, then bed).
Somewhere between snuggle and bed, he often gets woken back up from his sleepy state. Maybe his brother moves a bit too loudly (they share a room), or the puppy decides to lick him, or that song that always makes him tired is just way too exciting today, or maybe he has a fun idea.
And all of a sudden, bedtime is cancelled, and he's overtired and wide awake and too angry or upset to go to sleep. We have not figured out a way around it yet, but I wanted to offer some solidarity, because we've been struggling with this every other night for years now. I have to assume it will get better, we all learn to settle and sleep eventually! But it's *rough* while you're in the middle of it.
You are not alone, and I have been wondering the same thing re is it normal how long it’s taking for my 25mo to actually fall asleep. For us the routine is about 1 hr, starting at 7, and then after we turn the light off (by 8pm) it usually takes 30-60 until he is actually asleep. It’s too long imo but it’s just the phase we’re in. I tell him a story while rocking in the chair or pacing then put him in the crib (much to his dismay lately) and rub his back or lay on the floor next to him. I have to stay in the room. And often pick him up again. I think my kid experiences a lot of separation anxiety at bedtime and I feel like I’ve tried a lot of different strategies but damn it doesn’t seem to ease. Also just toddler FOMO? His fave thing to say lately is “I wanna play play play all day day day” lol. These long bedtimes are so tiring. I miss my me time, I miss my time with my partner, and sadly on some nights I am annoyed bc I know I have some work to finish up and it just makes it a way later night than I want!
Sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 90.
I've yet to quite figure out a reason for the variation beyond maybe what we did each day. The actual bedtime routine is generally the same - Bath starts between 7:30-8, 15 minutes in the bath max, then dry off, collect bedtime things, lie in bed with a story, then light off.
Bath, milk and then my husband and I lay down with her until she’s asleep usually between 30 and 45 min. She falls asleep on her own but we do have to be laying down with her until she’s down.
2, almost 3 year old son over here. We have long been on the 2 hour bed time routine track but just recently started being more firm in limiting how much time we spend on each step of the process. Our kids are late sleepers so bedtime routine starts between 8:30 and 9:00 pm and we have started getting better about 9:30 being lights off and time to get in bed the past week or so.
Our daughter on the other hand, 17 months, if it was just her it would be maybe a 10 minute bed time routine? Change diaper and into pajamas, milk, 1 song and some cuddles, and into the crib. I'm sure that will change for her too.
My 2 year old can take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. We have to lay with her until she's asleep, we read 1 story & then listen to lullabies on Alexa.
Will be 2 in August. Same amount of time probably. teeth 2, pajama/potty 5, storytime 10, then dj his radio til he falls asleep.... maybe 10-20 mins on a good day.
I just moved my guy out of my bed, but we have been doing the same routine for a long time.
All regular, teeth, potty, pajama, then storytime.
We have a smart light that I set to dim slowly over 10 mins. When the light goes out, the room is dark, storytime is over, it's time for bed. (We use a flashlight to read) Then we turn it on the red light, dimmest setting as a night light.
I tuck him in, and turn on his music, and he listens to it as he goes to bed. Right now I still have to sit in the room with him, (a chair on the other side of the room) but am working on leaving the room completely once I turn on his radio.
It's pretty straightforward with my 25 mth old.... I don't bathe her every night and sometimes she's bathed in the AM instead, so I don't count a bath. Around 715 I brush her teeth. By 730, I tell her it's time to get changed for bed, change her, turn off light, turn on music box/stars, sing her twinkle little star, and lay her down and leave. Probably takes no more than 10 min. She usually passes out within 10-60 min. Sometimes she just talks to herself a lot. She never whines/cries for her once we shut her door. She's been this easy with bedtime since 6 mths old. I honestly don't expect her to keep being this easy once we switch her to a toddler bed though.
Tonight my girl was asleep before we even really got to the “meat” of our routine we did dinner bath changed I put her into the crib to grab her book/get ready(adjust lights and things) to sit in the story chair (formerly nursing chair) but the moment I stood her in the crib she was ready to sleep so I picked her up gently and rocked with her while reading her story said our prayers with the prayer bear before good night kiss and setting her down before starting her lullabies on the Alexa …. we don’t always do the bath and sometimes on other nights she’s still awake after bedtime story so it’s a bit of me slowly stepping backwards out the door occasionally reminding her to lay down until she’s fallen asleep and I can shut her door which some nights can take an hour+ just to get her settled enough to lay her head down once she’s asleep hubby and I do some YouTube watching before sneaking back in her room for another secret good night kiss /resetting the Alexa
We’ve gotten so good at this, he falls asleep within 10-15 minutes if that. I used to struggle so bad with putting him down, it would take an hour on most nights for him to finally fall asleep. I make sure to wear him down throughout the day and then we have a bedtime routine so he understands it’s bed time. I also will bribe him if he tries getting out of his room too many times, “go to sleep so we can have fun tomorrow!” “We will play tomorrow but you have to go to bed now.” I’ve also compromised and allowed him to take 2 toys, whether it’s Spider-Man, a car, stuffed animal or book to bed. Most night I don’t even hear him trying to read or playing with his cars, he just wants them for comfort. He also has a sound machine in his room and I will turn the light off from it if he gets out of bed too many times so it’s like a warning system. We figured out that a lot of our struggle was with him just wanting to feel some sort of control and comfort over his bed time. So allowing him to have a couple of toys or whatever, picking out his own pajamas, filling up his water cup, choosing the sound and color of his sound machine etc. have helped minimize us struggling with him to lay down. I can leave him in his room with the door cracked and he will be out on his own in 15 minutes top. If I sit on the floor next to him, he’s out even faster.
Bed time routine takes about 30-40 mins from going upstairs to him being asleep. We do bath, jammies, book, bottle, cuddle to sleep, then lay him down and out the room.
Less than 5 minutes, I just make sure he’s really tired. Gets up around 5.15-5.30 and goes to bed at 7 with no nap, he’s 3. If he naps even for a few minutes it takes way longer!
Yes absolutely same for me . What seems to help a bit is a routine of course , and a very specific thing that helped is the wee Willie Winkie rhyme .i used to sing to her this and now I say‘look it’s 8 o clock and wee Willie Winkie says all children in their bed '. I show her the clock and say it’s 8 and then put her to bed and I massage her while telling her about her day .what she ate from breakfast ,what she did until bedtime and this keeps her calm and she stays quiet until she goes to sleep . This doesn’t put pressure on her to process the day because I walk it through and she just adds or disagrees if I say anything or miss anything . A bit better and shorter 😅
The steps for us are: pyjamas, milk, teeth, story, kiss. It takes 15 minutes with me, but an hour or more with my wife. I'm afraid my son has just worked out that he can manipulate my wife into staying, so he exploits it for everything he's got.
There's also a sweet spot between undertired and overtired that's important to identify. When I get it right my son falls asleep quickly, but when I leave it a bit late it can take him up to an hour to fall asleep
We have a two and a half year old, and it used to be like that for us as well. Then we slowly moved from rocking him to just cuddling and touching him. Nowadays it's enough if we're in the same room as him, and he's usually out in 20ish minutes, given that he's tired enough and he didn't over-extend his nap. We don't do the baths and stories (I reserve that for naps so he still gets his quality reading time) — we figured he's old enough to understand that when it's bedtime, it's bedtime, so our only routine really is getting into PJs, peeing, and brushing his teeth.
From going upstairs to asleep in her bed is usually about half an hour. Does yours still nap? Removing the nap is what made this possible for us- previously with a half hour nap she was going to be at like 9pm and it took so so long to get her down. Now it’s mostly really easy.
Bathtime 830pm.
Pajamas, brush teeth, mouthwash-830-9pm
Stories 900-930 Hopefully shorter...
Kiss goodnight 915pm. We leave the room, turn off lights, night light, white noise. Falls asleep on her own.
Age 2.5
We start getting dressed, brushing teeth, read books or play at 8. In bed by 8:30. Usually sing songs and talk about silly things with her until around 8:44-8:50, but she's usually not asleep when I leave the room. She then proceeds to come out of her room 1-2 times, the last one usually being around 9.
Daddy starts bath at 7:45, in his room by 8:15 or so. Then I'll read from 8:30 to 9. Then it's lights out and snuggle to sleep. Normally takes about 30 minutes for him to fall asleep, but most of the time he's pretty calm about it so that doesn't bother me as much.
We've tried even later, but I'm too tired by the end of the day for that nonsense (he's up at 6). My husband and I are definitely looking forward to him dropping his nap and hopefully sleeping more at night so we can have some time alone together again. Hopefully just a few more months!
A game changer for us was—and this sounds silly—putting some stuffed toys for her to play with in her crib and telling her to show them how to go to sleep. She’ll play with them quietly for a bit sometimes, but after pj’s and teeth brushed I’d say we have it down to 5-10m.
Read 1-2 books (include the animals! She turns the book around and shows them the page), turn off lights, let her know we will rock and sing a song to our animals then it’s time for bed. One or two songs in the rocker then put her in the crib and say “now it’s time to show Mr bunny and brownie bear how to sleep!”
I’ll note that at some point recently we did re-sleep train using a modified Ferber but it only took one or two nights before she stopped crying for us when we left. It’s been a real relief at night to get her to bed and have time to shower and clean and still have a little time to ourselves. Even if she isn’t asleep yet, she’s happy in there.
We have a 2.5 year old. From bath time to bedtime it takes about 30 mins. We read, rock and sing a few songs then I lay her down. She is usually stays awake about 20 mins talking to her stuffed monkey then falls asleep on her own.
I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. We go up between 6.45-7pm, give them a bath together. One of us will take the baby out, get her ready for bed and take her into our room to give her her milk and put her to sleep. The other will let the toddler play in the bath for a bit, get her out (tooth brushing and toilet time happen just before bathtime) and ready for bed. She'll have her milk and a cuddle with whoever is putting her down that night and then she'll get into her bed. We're both usually free by 8pm on a good day.
Both of my 3 and 5 year olds have had the same routine since about 1 years old. Pajamas, teeth, story, tuck in, lights out. They fall asleep within 15-30 minutes after we leave the room. If they are not particularly tired at the time we put them down, they just play quietly in their room with the lights out. They go to sleep between 6:30-7:30pm.
16 months: 730 bath, bottle, brush teeth, the same song on repeat, about 10-15 min rocking and he’s out.
My daughter (5) was the same way. We have a strong routine and it’s about an hour for one person to get both of them to bed. She does bath and then two chapters of a book with us and then listens to a story on her yoto player to fall asleep.
My 2yo takes about the same time, unfortunately. He's starting to refuse his midday nap and pass out around 5pm for a catnap despite us trying to keep him awake 🙄 so bedtime has been late.
We have a shower, pj's, brush teeth then we both lay down in bed and listen to audiobooks. At first he would go to sleep straight away. Now he gets really absorbed in them and won't fall asleep until I say we need to stop. But audiobooks are what keeps him in bed 🤷♀️
20-30 minutes (2.5 yo)
If it’s a bath day then bath at 7 if not we just skip this part.
7:30pm teeth brushing and pajamas
7:45pm “get the sillies out time” I let her jump on the bed, we do a dance party, I let her get whatever toy she wants to bring to bed with her basically use this as the opportunity to get her energy out and do all the delaying bedtime things kids like to do
8pm read 1 or 2 books
Asleep by 8:30.
If she has a late nap where she wakes up at 3pm instead of 2pm (which sometimes especially on weekends/ non daycare days she does) we move back our timeline by an hour.
She wakes up between 6:30-7am and naps from 12:30-2pm
Editing to say: she is the biggest Velcro baby ever. We never sleep trained she has always contact napped (except at daycare)
If your bedtime is at a decent time and you know that they’re tired - they may be delaying bedtime because they’re wanting more connection with you. Lay down with them in bed for longer until after they fall asleep, reassure them that you’re right around the corner if they wake up ( we cosleep but I assume most parents still use a camera or something to check on their kids rooms?)
23 month old, 15 minutes tops on non bath night, 30 on a bath night.
Brush teeth, read 2 books, cuddle for a minute, zip her in her sleep sack, say good night and leave the room. She will play with her stuffed animals for a bit or talk herself to sleep usually within 15-20 mins.
My little chap is 4.5 years old and I still cuddle him to sleep. Previously it was taking about an hour, but since nursery finished for the summer holidays last week, it is taking 2-3 hours and I am struggling!!
We don’t take very long. Just brush teeth and then put him in bed. He puts himself to sleep so he talks in his room on his own for like 30mins before he actually falls asleep
Our son is 2.5. Bedtime routine is about 45 min. We read 4-5 books while he has a last snack or some milk. Then Jammies on and we brush our teeth. After that he picks his stuffed animals out to sleep with. I sing to him and place him in his crib and we have a quick “bye bye” exchange with me outside his door. Takes anywhere from 5-15 min to fall asleep. We’ve had basically the same routine (with a few age related variations) since he was about 3 months old.
Around 2 yo, our now 3 year old started falling asleep independently. It would take her a while at first (we'd keep an eye on her through the monitor), but now at 3 she's usually asleep in minutes after we leave the roon since she stopped napping around 2.5 yo. The time is actually takes us, the adults, is however long it takes to read a few books and tuck her. Sometimes we sit at the edge of her bed and she tells us about her day for a few minutes. Then hug & kiss, white noise on, lights off, and bye bye baby! The almost 4 month... Don't even want to think about how long it takes to get her down for the night 😭
My first born was much more difficult to put to sleep at night. He still is - he requires a whole intensive routine and simply cannot fall asleep before 11pm if he doesn’t get melatonin. His brain just won’t shut off, he talks and talks and talks. My husband used to regularly fall asleep in there waiting for my son to fall asleep.
My second child is much easier; she has a bedtime routine but it’s bath, teeth, ~15 minutes of stories, hugs and kisses and we leave the room. She can get out of her bed, but doesn’t and just goes to sleep.
6 dinner
6:30 bath
6:50 lotion and naked play time (lol), sometimes we read some books if he’s into it
7:20 brush teeth, diaper, PJs
7:30 we go into our bedroom and lay on the floorbed in the dark. I sing two songs and rub his back and he nurses to sleep. It usually takes 20-40 minutes and then I ninja roll out of there
About 30 minutes from beginning to end. We do bath, hygiene tasks, pajamas, 2 books, a song, then crib. She usually settles herself and falls asleep within a few minutes. If she cries, it’s less than 3 minutes.
We did have to do some sleep training to get there. We did a gentle way similar to Ferber. We did the routine and walked out of the room, but returned to settle her down if she cried more than 3 minutes. We avoided picking her up to settle her and did things like rub her back, sing a lullaby, etc. Once she was re-settled we would say good night and leave again to repeat the process. If she was hysterical we would pick her up and rock her but try to put her back down before she fell all the way asleep.
I think I'm incredibly lucky because it literally only takes us 5-10 minutes. My 3.5 year old still takes a cup of milk before bed so she'll drink that and we will get ready like changing, tooth brush, etc. And then tuck the stutfed animals in bed and give her a night light and say goodnight and leave. She doesn't always go to sleep right away but she's 95% of the time happy and will just play a little or sing songs and then eventually go to sleep.
(I'll add that for the first 4 months of her life she only slept in 15 min increments and screamed constantly so I think she's paying me back)
My son just turned 2 and we spent a lot of time shortening his bedtime routine. We used to do multiple stories, a song, the whole production. Now we’re down to bath and teeth, pjs (and I sing while I dress him), one book and it’s lights out. Maybe 20-30 minutes max, if I have to clip nails or something. I do the routine basically every night, and while it was a rough transition at first, he doesn’t usually cry at all, unless he’s not feeling good or having an off day. He usually takes 15-20 minutes to fall asleep but is quiet about it so I don’t care
We give our two year old a bath, read him two books, cuddle in our bed and go over our day and then he says goodnight and tucks us into bed (so he thinks we’re all going to sleep and we avoid the “fear of missing out”). He goes into his room and closes his door, turns his light off and is usually asleep within 15-20 minutes.
2 years old on 7/19
7:15 teeth brushed and bath time
7:30 lotion and jammies
7:35 read two books
7:45 lights off, sound machine on, sing you are my sunshine two times while rocking
7:50 lay him in bed, hugs kisses and say goodnight
Asleep anywhere from 8-8:30 depending how tired he is. Usually sleeps through until 6:30-7.
Our 17 month old falls asleep almost instantly when we put him in his crib. It surprises me every time, because he is SO chaotic during his bedtime routine (milk, book, brush teeth, song). He is at his most energetic, and super goofy, and then sometimes gets upset as we bring him to his crib. But once his head hits his mattress, he’s out!
(I realize this makes it sound like he’s overtired, but he actually has a shorter second wake window. He usually naps something like 12-2, goes to bed between 7 and 7:30, and wakes up between 6 and 6:30.)
We did sleep train at about 6 months.
My toddler is 17 months. We do -
6:15 bath
6:25 getting dried, creams, PJs etc.
6:40 milk
6:50 getting in sleep sac, brush teeth, story
7:00 place in crib
He self settles to sleep. Normally ranges from 5-20 minutes for him to fall asleep.
When my son was like that he was overtired.
Then eventually it turned into under tired and we needed to cut out his nap.
Now he gets a burst of energy after a bath so I can't do bath, book and bed. It has to be, bath, play, book, bed.
If you include bathtime as part of the bedtime routine it takes anywhere from 70 - 100 mins. It’s been terrible since she turned 2 but we haven’t been able to get it back to a good place
Same boat with our 4 year old. By the time he's actually in bed and settled enough for me to leave his room it's so late that all we really have time for is packing lunches, showering, then it's bedtime for us too.
We've tried a few things to get him to bed earlier and become more independent but he resists and we end up not getting any sleep, becoming zombies at work, then saying "F it! We can't outlast him, we need sleep"
I read her a book and then say good night and leave. So 5ish minutes? She won’t go to sleep right away but no issue with me leaving. Her older sister was the same way at her age too.
It's taking so long because your kid misses you. It's the only time they get to connect with you. Also, he's two. Being alone is scary and lonely. He craves attention and love. If he goes to daycare during the day, then he's likely spending more waking hours with other 2 yo and teachers that have to spli their time with 15 other kids.
When it's taking longer than I'd like it to, I remind myself of all of this.
My partner and I switch nights but recently my kid asked us to split it. So one night I do pajamas/teeth and read and then partner comes in and does the rest, which is lights out and then setting a timer for 10 minuyes then talking about the day, or singing a song or just sitting in the dark talking. Once timer goes off then kid goes into bed and we go check on her every 5 minutes. She's usually asleep after one check.
My partner often lets her fall asleep while holding her and then puts her in bed. She's too big for me to do that.
She also comes in our bed around 1am every night, which I previously had issues with, but then realized she's craving being near us since she is gone from us 8+ hours of the day. So now I actually look forward to it, although we don't sleep as good. I think the benefits outweigh the lack of sleep for us.
Yup about 1.5-2 hours! We go up around 8:30 and he’s asleep by 10-10:15 it’s a long process but it’s quality time with no tv or devices and a great time for us to connect. Will be glad when we drop the nap and he can sleep earlier.
We’ve had a wondrous turn around in the last two weeks. He’s 2.5. He was an amazing sleeper before 2. Then at 2, we went toddler bed and no pacifier and all hell broke loss. We thought, well, this is it until he’s like 5.
For the last 6 months, our routine took about an hour and consisted of jammies, teeth, two books, two quick songs, and kiss good night. We’d leave, he’d bang on door (we have a toddler lock on the door). We’d increase the time between checking on him and getting him back into bed but he often needed us back in there like 3-5 times. It was screaming, crying, asking for more books, more songs, more snacks, banging and pulling on the door. So for probably 20-30 minutes we were just stressed and definitely made bedtime feel like the worst part of the day.
We knew he probably wasn’t tired enough but we couldn’t shorten his nap (he would refuse to wake up unless he had at least 1.5 hours of nap during the day, we tried) but we also didn’t want to keep him up until 9pm. Because then our adult evening was truly gone. So we decided to let him read and do his own thing in his room after we said good night.
So for the last two weeks he’s been doing that and it’s glorious. He’ll read, put on his boots and cowboy hat, put all his stuffies in his bed and roll around on them, make weird made up songs, he keeps himself busy. We watch him on the monitor, and his room is childproof. This has been a game changer. The first day or so he whined because he didn’t want to be alone (and normally isn’t very good at independent play) but he’s getting better and better at it each day. He seems to actually enjoy it. So we’ll say good night at 7:50 or so, he’ll play independently for 20-40 minutes and then either fall asleep on the ground, in his bed, or call for us to tuck him in.
30 minutes. 45 minutes if we do bath. Dinner is at 5:15 and she can play with any time left over before we start the routine.
Bath 5:45-6:00
Lotion/pajamas 6:00
Reading books, offer breast as we read until 6:20ish
6:20 brush and floss teeth in bed
6:25 get into zipadee zip
6:30 asleep within a few minutes typically. Sometimes she will make some noise and get comfy.
Her sleep and developmental needs are more important to us than trying to get a few minutes with us. We wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work and she typically is at daycare 7:00ish.
2.5 year old girl,
8:00PM - sippy cup of warm milk, diaper change, get in pajamas
8:20PM - read one book, usually Goodnight Moon, but sometimes we do Llama Llama Red Pajama if it seems like a fun night for jumping and stomping before bed (she loves those pages).
8:30PM - Tuck her into bed, give her a stuffy if she wants one, cover with blankets, kisses and hugs and I-love-yous and see-you-tomorrows, then lights off, bedroom door locked (for safety, parts of the house are not safe for her to wander in unsupervised, we have cats, litterboxes, etc, plus if there was ever a fire, heaven forbid, I'd want to know exactly where she was to get her out).
After that, she fusses for 30 seconds - 2 minutes (seriously, she waits until the door is shut and locked before making a peep, there's no issues with the tucking in or any of that), usually tries the door once, sometimes she plays with the stuffies in her room. We have her mattress on the floor, and the only toys allowed in her bedroom while sleeping are soft ones. We keep an eye on her with the baby monitor, and it can take anywhere from 10 - 60 minutes for her to lay down in bed and go to sleep. Anything 30 minutes and under I consider to be pretty solid. She's not crying for any of this time, she's playing or talking to herself, rolling around in bed, etc.
We don't do baths every night, so that's not part of our routine; I fit them in when they're convenient, so sometimes it's morning, sometimes afternoon, and sometimes evening bathtime, depending on the day.
We have always had a wait-10-minutes rule for sleep crying/fussing, since 4-5 months, and it worked well for us, plus we can usually tell real crying from fuss crying. We did middle-of-the-night milk until she was 1.5 and dropped that wake up/started refusing the milk if we got her up.
A lot of this is child-specific, I'd guess. She's always been a pretty decent sleeper, and has been able to sooth herself back to sleep since quite young. I don't know that I'd credit that to our parenting/sleep strategies or if it's more that she's just a good sleeper. We have number 2 on the way, so I guess we'll find out.
Also, I listed this routine as starting at 8pm but, if she had a bad nap, we might start it at 7pm or 7:30pm depending on her evening mood/general fussiness level.
Our evenings prior to bedtime routine are all about playing with her too. I figure it's playtime until it's time for bed, and when it's time for bed we want it closer to ripping off a bandaid than a long drawn out ordeal.
Mine used to take forever. We tried a few different things.
He decides if he wants lights on or lights off. lights on means that he can get one book from his shelf and read it in bed, he’s never made it past 15mins.
Lights off means that he wants to sleep straight away.
I make sure to leave the door open and tell him that I will be in the next room watching tv.
We used to lay by him for hours but once we gave him choices and explained to him what was going to happen, he was fine!
I admire your stamina. Our actual bed time routine is maybe 5 minutes, but we warn her that it's coming. I tell my toddler (2.5) that she has 1-5 more of whatever she's doing before bedtime. That usually means dancing to 2 songs, but it could be reading books or playing a game like Candyland. She knows that she has to go to bed after. After dancing/whatever activity, she sits on the potty and brushes her teeth. She knows she has to go in the bed after that. I used to tell her I'm leaving if she isn't lying down by the time I count to ten, and it immediately made her listen. Now she just does it, and I hang out while she falls asleep. That's usually the five minutes. Sometimes I read her her stories, but she doesn't prefer it currently.
The catch to this short bedtime is that I don't bother trying unless she's tired, so she stays up late sometimes hanging out with us. I also let her back out if she tried and truly isn't tired after a long time.
Our 2.5 year transitioned to a big boy bed 3 months ago. We give him a bath around 7/7:15. One parent reads to him in his room. When that is over he gives everyone goodnight kisses. Gets into bed awake. Some nights he falls asleep right away some nights he plays in the dark for and hour. I don’t think he has been awake later than 8:45 with this setup.
Minutes. My son is autistic and prefers to do his own thing. After his bath and book, the kid is READY to get me out of his room. He shuts his door and says “G’bye!” It’s glorious until about 3:30-4:00 am when he wakes and walks into our room, fully ready to party. It sounds cuter than it is because we are constantly exhausted! If we’re traveling, then it can take him hours!
This was us, until one night I put her in her bed and said, “Okay, I’m going to go to bed. I’ll leave the door open and the hallway light on. I’m right here.” I leave, she falls asleep. Some nights I have to go back in and “tuck her in” or stand at the door and say, “It’s okay, time to go night night. I’m still here.”
3 yo and 5 yo share a room
6:45ish bath, 7:00 pjs on, depending on time books and/or dance party, 7:30 snuggles for 5-10 minutes
5 yo is asleep within 5 minutes of us leaving the room most nights
3 year old often plays quietly in her bed, fighting sleep until 8:30ish
If we do a later bedtime the 3 yo gets over tired and won’t go down for a couple hours, so we just let her do her thing until she goes to sleep on her own
It depends on what we’ve done that day/when naps happened, but usually our LO has a bath around 7/8, a bottle on the couch, then we take her to her room and turn out the lights, I sing a couple songs while holding her, and then I put her in the crib, say goodnight, and walk out.
Some nights she’s asleep almost instantly with no fuss, other nights she plays in her crib for 1+ hours. I just let her play in her crib without going back in, unless she cries like something is wrong. Sometimes I think she’s just mad that she has to sleep and doesn’t want to stop playing, but I hold the boundary. Bed time is bed time. She’s safe in her crib, in her room that I spent hundreds of dollars decorating lmao. She’s fine, she’ll lay down and sleep when she’s ready.
Our 3 year old has always been a great sleeper, luckily. Shower, couple books, and we say goodnight. 30 mins tops. We made nap time and sleep a priority since she was little. Sleep training started at 5 months.
We put him in bed awake and shut the door and he’s asleep in 5-15 minutes. There came a point in babyhood where our involvement in putting him to sleep kept him stimulated and awake.
5pm Dinner time usually an hour with some screentime.
6pm Bathtime about 30 mins or whenever she's done playing usually 630
630-730pm Couch cuddles movie and milk/snack
730pm time for sleepies-she wishes everyone a goodnight and walks right into her room, gives me kisses and hugs wants her slothy and bed. She's an independent girl in her own world lol
She sleeps through the night and has been for almost a year. She's turning two next month😭
We go upstairs and brush teeth around 7:30. Put on pajamas and read 2 stories in bed (just moved to big boy bed.). After the stories he gets some snuggles, and I’m out of the room by about 7:50. He is still awake but when I check the monitor 10-20 minutes later he has settled to sleep.
It used to take forever to get him to bed. I focused a ton the last 4 months on shortening the routine and not budging. He was getting good at putting himself to sleep in the crib and somehow managed to continue to do that this week when we switched to a full size bed.
3.5 year old here. From story time to sleep it takes between 10-30 minutes and it has been that way for a long time, we always stay in the room until he's asleep and have never ever sleep trained. If its taking a long time I would suggest yours simply isn't tired enough. Either push bedtime back or reduce their nap if that's applicable so their sleep pressure is greater come bedtime
If you’re staying with him during this time, then yeah it’s normal. They take much longer to fall asleep if they have company than if they’re alone.
Mine falls asleep in under 5 minutes if she’s alone. When we travel and she shares a bed with us, she’ll take over an hour to go to sleep
We start his bath at 8 pm and he goes to bed at 9. We do bath, pajamas, books and then I lay with him in his rocking chair for 5 min. I put him down awake and he falls asleep on his own. He sleeps until 7:30-8 am. I’d like to move his bedtime earlier but I can’t control his naps at daycare and he needs a certain number of hours of wake time before he’s sleepy enough to go to bed, so 9 pm it is. He is 2 years old.
Usually about 30-45 minutes. Longer if it’s a bath night since my kid is apparently half fish and loves his water time! But the main routine is: brush teeth and wash face, “run and jump” into the dog bed in mom and dad’s room a couple times, then into his own room to get changed into a night diaper and pajamas. Then we read 2-5 books, turn on music, and sit together in the rocking chair and talk for a little bit- usually a recap of the day, sometimes he tries jokes (25 month old comedian over here!) we say his affirmations, howl at the moon, and then it’s hugs, kisses, and snuggles while we rock for a while. And then I either carefully put a sleeping dude into his bed or set him in there awake to lie himself down and give him a blanket. One more I love you and close the door. And then I grab the monitor and do dishes, laundry, or whatever else. He usually stays put where he lays down, but sometimes will talk to himself or his little bluey plush in bed for a bit and then goes to sleep.
We have a bath every other day. It’s usually go on the toilet, wash hands, brush teeth, pajamas, read 2-3 books, change diaper, kisses and hugs, turn off lights, and place down in crib.
She’s 2.5 and we’ve been letting her go on the toilet before naps and bedtime. Haven’t started fully potty training though.
Normally it’s about 30 minutes. She does have her moments when she’s fussy or refusing so it has taken an hour before.
My two year old stopped taking naps completely so getting him down is easier. He wakes up between 6-7am. Sleep by 7pm every night takes about 15min for him to fall asleep and sleeps through the night.
18mo. Bath, teeth, let run around like a maniac for 5-8 min, then pjs. Try to read 3 books, usually results in a "no" half way through every once except Goodnight Moon. I try to sing or hum a song, get a "no". So I say goodnight, drop in crib, say bye and leave. Never takes more than 25 min start to finish. 7:15-7:35ish and is asleep by 8-8:15ish.
After dinner and some chill time, read 2 books, brush teeth, pajamas and night diapers, say family prayers in their room. Rock the 2yo and 4yo for 3-5min while I chat with them. Turn the sound machine on, in their beds, peace out. About 20minutes unless the books are exceptionally wordy.
2 hours, she's 21m and I start the routine at 7 but she's not remotely tired. I get her in pajamas and have a milk bottle and stories, then she goes off and plays with toys and I have to corral her back for toothbrush. Often times she'll try to run off with the brush so I have to brush for her and get it back. Then she's off playing again and I have to get her into bed with the curtains and the sleep noise and shut the doors. Even then she's out of bed several times. Asleep anywhere between 9 and 10
My son is 20 months and it takes about 15-20 minutes. Brush teeth, diaper change and pjs, bottle (we’re working on changing this), a couple books, a song or two then bed. It takes me longer than my husband because they do the exact same thing every night, but my son knows he can make song requests with me.
Our 2.5 is similar, in that it's not too difficult but she likes a very specific routine (takes 30-40min). We warn her of going upstairs/to bedroom with a timer. Then read exactly 3 books of her choosing, go potty, sing songs while getting diaper and sleep sack applied, and then one parent rocks and sings before laying in crib awake. I think of it as connection time too!
Dinner around 5 pm, bath right afterwards (while the other parents cleans up kitchen), and then we play, read, FaceTime grandparents between 6-7 pm. Then she gets her last cup of milk, and we go upstairs to change and brush teeth.
I don’t considering it “doing bedtime” until we go upstairs so it takes 10-15 min. Most of the time she goes down pretty easily — I hold her for a bit, she turns off the light, and we say “bye!” Occasionally, she cries and I will rock her for a few minutes and sing a couple of lullabies. Usually we’re out of her room by 7:30-7:45.
Edit: She is 21 months.
Starts around 6:30 ends around 7. Routine: Books, Bath, put PJs on & brush teeth while playing calming sleep music, says goodnight to dad and cat then we sing & cuddle before going down
Straight after tea we give her milk (,she's 2.5 years). She finishes the bottle while we read a book, upstairs for teeth brushing, pyjamas and bed. Shut the door and walk out. 15-20 mins? Asleep 6:30pm, wakes up 7-7:30am.
Seems there are some wild routines in this thread but that works for us.
30 mins - 1 hour depending on the night and whether we do a bath. He’s 1.5 years old right now. Routine is bath (usually every other night), lotion and diaper, pajamas, 1-2 books, milk, brush teeth, a few minutes of cuddles and into bed.
75% of the time he falls asleep on his own. He knows mom (me) is the sucker so he sometimes won’t go down without me rocking him.
I recently employed a sleep consultant, who informed me that it should take between 15-30 minutes for your child to fall asleep. If it takes any longer, OR it's too quick, the child is either overtired or undertired. So I've moved around their sleep time and now put both of them to sleep at the same together (!!!) Even though there's 3 years between them. They both fall asleep around the same time, 19.30-20.00, and sleep until 06.30-7.00.
Maybe 25-30 minutes? We do bath, brush teeth, pjs, read a couple of books and then we say goodnight, put him in his crib and he goes to sleep on his own. If we skip the bath, we can get it done in like 15 minutes lol!
7:27: kids go off and get ready for bed, teeth brushed and go potty. Typically takes like 5-10 minutes and then we all go to the room, I read 2 stories, kids each pick a song to sing and dance to and my husband and I sing the 2 songs and they do whatever they do to that song. Hugs, kisses, lights out. We're typically out of their room at 8 and then 8-10 is our gaming time. Some of these responses are wacky. Multiple hours for a bedtime routine sounds horrible
Hmm. We had this issue but at about 25months it all changed. We do a bit of milk, bath time, teeth brushing. Once he's in the room with lights off it's 5-10m of rocking till he does his first yawn. At that point we transfer to the crib and walk out. He may still be awake for another 5 to 10 mins but 90 percent of the time he goes to bed without any other intervention.
We do the exact same routine everyday. He occasionally objects to it but we essentially ignore it outright. I'm sure that's a questionable parenting style. But personally I don't think parents should be negotiating with their child about sleep.
Yea that’s normal, enjoy it while you have it. Eventually they will want little to do with you and will be so independent. Love them as much as you can while they want it.
Honestly the ideal way to sleep is together. Doesn’t have to be the same bed but even just in the room together makes them feel more at peace and more comfortable knowing that mommy and daddy are going to sleep as well and they can see that and experience that so it can help them learn about sleep. Just telling them doesn’t mean much since they can’t see it. They always want to see things rather than just hear about it.
30 minutes for bath (most nights) and 30 minutes of bedtime routine (vitamins, teeth brushing, a little play, stories, saying goodnight) then we put her down and leave her. Sometimes she falls right to sleep, sometimes it takes her a bit
My kid used to need a routine and there was a lot.of resistance but since about 2-2.5 years age he started to like bedtime. No routine, but I'll have him changed and teeth brushed and he'll usually just tell me he wants to sleep and walks to his bed. He'll talk to himself for a big sometimes, but 9/10 I leave the bedroom and he's asleep within 20 minutes..
Expecting he may get more resistant as he gets older or moves to a big bed not a cot 😂
7:00 head upstairs and start wind down time. Play with Tonies/stuffies/books. Call Dad to say good night/talk about the day.
7:30 bath time
7:45 lotion/jammies/teeth/hair
8:00 into bed to snuggle
8:15-8:20ish asleep
At 2 years, yep it took almost an hour many nights. I was nursing to sleep until 2 years 7 months when we fully weaned. Now she’s 3 and 2 months and we read a story and put her to bed. Maybe once or twice a week I’ll need to go back in to get her water or a hug, but generally shes asleep within 15 minutes of me leaving the room. It takes time! And at 2 years old many kids are simply not ready to be left alone to fall asleep.
Bedtime routine from start to finish is on average abo7t 1.5 hours. It's way too long, imo. And that's not even actually to get her to sleep -- it's just to put her in bed and walk away.
3 year old here. Every other day is a bath, then pajamas, teeth brushing, book and snuggles, a couple of songs, and a tuck in. The whole thing from heading upstairs until lights out is 30m-1h depending on if it’s a bath night or not. It’s become longer over time as she’s learned to procrastinate unfortunately. Lots of “mommy I have to tell you something” or “wait look what I can do!” these days, so it can be hard to keep her on task. Then it probably takes her another 15-30 min to actually fall asleep - sometimes she’ll look at another book herself or be up there singing or playing with her stuffed animals, but she’ll eventually wind down on her own.
The part where we change his diaper, put on pj's and sleep sack, read books, and lay him in his crib is less than half an hour. But before that there's nursing, and then a snack, and this sort of gradual wind down with lots of stalling on his part and that all takes about an hour.
Bath, jammies, milk, story, brush teeth, cuddles in the rocking chair then bed. Start to finish 45 minutes. It’s one “goodnight” and she rolls over and goes to sleep. We have followed the exact same routine since she was tiny. We are incredibly lucky- she has been a good sleeper since she was 4 months old!
An hour. Minimum. We brush teeth. 10 min for that- if she doesn’t put on a whole performance while doing it she won’t do it. Then she has to say good night to literally everything. Then me & her have to hide under a blanket in her room from her dad. Then we change diaper. Then she picks out some books to read (SHE has to pick them). Then I leave and my husband reads 2-3 books. Then she needs a hug. And this blanket. And oh no not that blanket that one. Wait no that one. Oh wait no her baby isn’t UNDER the blanket with her. Ok let’s start over. An hour later my husband can leave the room. Then she talks and talks and talks for another 15 min. Then asleep lol
We are really lucky right now because my 2 year old doesn’t fight bedtime yet. We brush teeth, do bath every other night, pajamas and sleep sack, read a couple books, cuddle on the couch, and sing a song on the way to bed (his favorite “All of Me”) and then put him in his crib. He sometimes wakes up crying in the night and has separation anxiety at 2 am but fortunately his bedtime routine is painless at the moment.
mine is fighting sleep rn. He’s 21 months and he just will scream and kick and thrash around at bedtime. Trying different routines and giving them like 3 weeks of a chance as of rn lol. Only thing he wants is a bottle
We eat dinner kind of early. But really whenever toddler says she is hungry. I'd rather feed a hungry kid than a kid that's not in the mood. Try to stick to 5-6pm but sometimes she's hungry earlier. If that's the case she gets a snack later.
Bath time around 6pm.
From 6:30-7:30 it's a slow burn. Read books, brush teeth, out on pajamas and I let her get the playfulness out of her system. I usually watch nightly news in that time frame if I can. Otherwise I have no idea what's going on in the world. I try not to be on my phone around my kids so I really have no clue about news unless I turn it on in the evening. 7:30 bed with the option to read a book with lights on for a bit by herself or lights out immediately. She chooses lights out usually but sometimes she wants to look at her books.
I have another younger baby that I have to nurse to sleep nap if she opts for book reading I take the books away at 8pm and turn the lights out and a kiss.
On days we are in a hurry? Dinner is 30 minutes. Bathtime is 15 minutes. Brushing teeth and pajamas are right after bedtime and 5 minutes. Maybe 10 minutes cause it's two kids. Read just one book instead of several and I pick it out to save time. Bed immediately with a kiss and tuck in. I get no complaints when we do rapid fire night routine.
Same. Mine takes forever and yes, he is really tired. He gets moody, clumsy and IS tired. But he fights so hard.
This is so real. The clumsiness resulting in some bang or knock that then seems to make her realise she's wrecked tired and should maybe stay in bed finally!!!!
Same here, tried to tweak his schedule in a million ways, but we could never find his sweet spot. Either not tired enough OR tired AF and moody. And he is only 21m/o, I fear this will get trickier as he grows up. He is now starting to be picky about his books, or how I need to sit in a specific way to read it.
Thank gawd it’s not just me. We start the routine at 7 and mine is down but still chatty or crying at 9 😳
6:30 bath and brush teeth (one cleans kitchen / walks dogs the other gives a bath) 7:00 in room to quiet family time. Me, husband, newborn, and toddler are in her room with dim lights, vitamins, get dressed, practice letters/play with blocks/tell stories (some nights run out last minute wiggles) 7:20 3 books 7:30 one parent and newborn leave; lights off, snuggle in chair, recap day, sing songs, lots of hugs and kisses 8 get serious about going to bed 8-830 rock until drowsy or until she asks to go into her crib 8:30-9:30 our adult quiet time We really had to shift our mindset when bedtime started to take an hour (before 18 months it took 30 mins max). We now view that time as special with our daughter. We don’t stress about getting out of the room at a certain time. We try to weave in adult time throughout the day so we aren’t totally craving it at night. And we tried to be intentional when connecting (not being on phones) in the shorter time we now have.
Dang dude 2 hour bedtime routine?
Ya! It’s all consuming…but she sleeps through the night, so to us it’s worth it. May change our tune when the newborn requires her own routine. We both WFH so I feel like we get a little extra time with her and each other.
I think it's super lovely as a routine. you're tag-teaming with your partner and incorporating your toddler with so much care and 1:1 time. your routine is quite sweet. I'm a little surprised you're getting judgement. (your routine is not a possibility in my home -- I don't have the endurance on my own. even so, I can still dreamily compliment yours!)
Thank you ♥️ we try to pour everything we have into her as long as we have the endurance to! Check in on me in another year 😂
I honestly love this routine, I even saved your original comment lol it's hard to squeeze everything we need do in that short time between work ending and bedtime - it sounds like you guys have it down!
We try! Some nights end in tears for most of us. Some nights we celebrate!
Ours is 30 minutes and she sleeps through the night and has since she was a few months.
How do you weave adult time in the day? Jw
Most days we haven’t even eaten dinner by 6:30. Two year old is still always down by 8, but she’s admittedly a good sleeper
Bath, pyjamas, story, cuddles, tuck her in. Usually 30-35 minutes from start of bath to us leaving the room - she falls asleep on her own.
Has she always been able to fall asleep on her own? Did you sleep train?
She’s been falling asleep independently for a while now. We didn’t do cry it out or Ferber, we gradually weaned her off needing us there to go to sleep. We used to pat to sleep so we gradually reduced it, basically. Now I pat her bum twice before leaving the room and she’s good.
Not the person you replied to but my almost 2 year old is similar. Start bedtime at 730 and she’s out by 8. We did sleep train around 7-8 months and she’s been a great sleeper ever since. I have a full conversation with her about how it’s bedtime, it’s time to sleep now. Kisses and lights out. She will lay there and sing songs and babble for 10-15 mins usually and falls asleep on her own.
If you're looking to promote more independent sleep, I highly recommend "Never Too Late to Sleep Train" by Craig Canapari. Book is geared for 1-6 year olds (ie not babies) and has methods more appropriate for those ages for things like nailing down bedtime routine and timing, falling asleep independently, and sleeping through the night. We sleep trained our child as a baby but around when she turned two we started having a lot more trouble with bedtime, her wanting me there to fall asleep, and also needing help to fall back asleep when she woke up at night. Some nights I only had to sit outside her room for ten minutes but other nights it was more like 45 which was torture. This book saved us from shelling out on a sleep consultant.
Ours also falls asleep on his own - he is about 18 months. If he ever gets fussy after we leave the room its only for a couple minutes then he just settles down and goes to sleep. You just need a routine and a sleepy/fed kid, they will take care of the rest.
Oof, not mine. I wish. She is sleepy and fed but still fights it till the end.
The way you applied a simple solution for all kids makes me think you only have one lol
Negative. I have 2 very different children that we took the same approach with as far as sleep routines. Worked great for both. Never had to do cry-it-out or anything extreme. Of course, YMMV, just sharing my experience with these 2.
Fed is the key. People underestimate what a full belly does for a LO. Not only helps them get down but, more importantly, helps to KEEP them down.
lol that last line
I did sleep train by the way at 6 months and it doesnt matter!! It all got shot to shit when we went on vacation hahah. My baby who went to bed independently from 6 months to 2 years now takes sooo long (1-2 hours) to fall asleep and i have to lay beside him. Oh well! It wont be forever.
Same. Our daughter usually lays around in crib awake for like an hour which means we probably need to start cutting her nap shorter. But I give her a book (with nightlight on) and a stuffy and she plays with those quietly.
This is my youngest. Little man has always been great at putting himself to sleep. You put him in bed and rolls over, sticks his thumb in his mouth, and is OUT. On rare occasions he'll "fuss" for about 30 seconds before he puts himself down. It's so easy. His sister? The exact opposite. She HATES being alone. She'll be SO TIRED that she's begging to sleep, but will be adamant that she does NOT want to go to bed. I think she views going to bed as spending ~11h alone. She likes having help to fall asleep: rocking, singing, back rubs, cuddles. You try and give her younger brother that and he'll fight you. Her bedtime routine has gotten a LOT easier lately for a few reasons: we moved her brother into her room about 3 months ago, she's dropping her nap so she's actually SUPER tired at bedtime, and we got a visual bedtime routine chart that we STICK TO. Way less boundary pushing when we can point at the chart and say, "your checklist says it's time to brush teeth. I don't make the rules." All this to say, OP, every kid is different, and you just gotta do your best. For reference, oldest is 3.5yo, and youngest is 15mo. When oldest was 15mo, she was having full blown panic attacks at bedtime that we ended up at urgent care for more than once.
We don’t do a bath every night but we walk up the stairs at 7 then brush teeth, potty, pj’s 4/5 books, in bed by 7:30. She falls asleep on her own. Sometimes it takes her 5 minutes, other nights she rolls for an hour. We sleep trained at 6 months and other than a few blips for illnesses have never had a problem.
What sleep training method did you guys do??
2.5 years old over here - it can take dad between 15-30 minutes (when our son allows dad to put him to bed) but with me it’s anywhere between 30-60 minutes 🙃 it’s been this way forever.
Lol he knows he can't fuck around with dad as much 😆😆
Mines the opposite. My husband is such a sucker for her delay tactics. She loves having him do it now and it takes *forever*
Same. I just leave after a little while
Exactly lmao he loves bullshitting with me 🤣
20 minutes-2 hours. We do milk, pajamas, brush teeth, books (2-4), and then tuck in. Sometimes there are multiple tuckins required and sometimes he’s upset about it or just super wild after the routine.
Same here, mom to a 16 month old 🥲
Same. I have a 2.5 yo and a 14month old. It can take 20 minute or it can take hours. I never know what to expect
If it’s taking an hour to fall asleep he may not be tired enough. Our time from bath to rocking to sleep is about an hour. But we do a lot of books and cuddling before we rock to sleep. But when we start rocking, it’s about 15 minutes and he’s asleep. Maybe push bedtime back a little and he may fall asleep faster!
It’s a bit vague but it sounded to me like “after bath” takes 45-75 mins, which isn’t too bad. But I agree that 45-75 mins of rocking/actually trying to get them to sleep is too long if that’s the case. My youngest is now 3.5yo and last night after stories, I said “I’ll be right back”, left the room for 3 mins (I set a timer, we are working up to him sleeping alone). He was asleep by the time I came back into the room. But stories and talking about our day can take up to half an hour.
Some kids hate sleep though. If I didn’t rock my daughter for about an hour she will not go to sleep. & that is at 9pm. Last night I let her stay up until she was visibly tired (mainly wanted to skip the hour long rocking) and she was in bed at 10:30pm
Usually less than 10 minutes after getting in her bed, but sometimes she's spicy, and it's more like 40 minutes. When it's consistently longer, it's a sign that we need a schedule change.
My almost 3 year old takes about 60-90 minutes to wind down in his bed. Which is about what i do as well so i can’t hate on him.
Once in bed? Usually 10 minutes
We had 4 under 4, if we didn’t sleep train we’d never have had any time alone.
4 under 4?!? Holy smokes .... God speed to you both. My brain is melting just thinking about that.
I have a 1 and 3 year old. We did sleep training and have a very set routine so they know what to expect. They’re okay with me leaving the room before they’ve fallen asleep. Parents can’t pour from an empty cup and I need my 2 hours of me time before I sleep too and start it all over again lol.
I couldn't do it without my evening me time. My kiddo goes to bed at 7:30, and then me and my husband have 3 hours of uninterrupted time to do whatever. It's great for our relationship and our ability to be engaged parents the rest of the time.
Ditto on the me time outside of sleep.
We only have 1 and are so happy we sleep trained. She loves bedtime and pretty much throws herself into her crib after her story and song. We get a full evening amd unless she's ill she will sleep through from 7.30 to 6.30/7.
On a good night, fifteen minutes. We do this by taking them out for more exercise between dinner and bedtime. It works in summer but we’re not looking forward to winter..
We have “dance parties” right before nap and bed. LO picks a song or two and we go nuts dancing and running around the house for 5-10 mins to get some energy out and reset her brain for sleep. It was a godsend when we were in the middle of an awful heat wave last week and couldn’t go outside.
Good idea!
To the parents who have milk in their routine, do you give it to them after you brush their teeth? I’ve thought I should do milk beforehand because of their teeth, but it seems like a relaxing treat before bed.
Definitely brush teeth after milk to remove the milk sugar residue from their teeth before bed. But I don't routinely offer milk at bedtime anymore because if my kid knows she can fill up on milk at the end of the night, she's less interested in eating dinner. I give her a cup of water instead and she's usually fine with that.
It should be before but my daughter ends up having the last bit after teeth. We tried cutting it but she would hard-cry.
Just a warning but that's probably going to result in a cavity which will be a nightmare for her.
Between 20 minutes on a good day to 2 hours or more on a bad day.
My son is 21 months. We bath him at 7pm, play with him for a last burst of energy in his bedroom while we put on his pyjamas and sleep bag, then we read a story to him, put him in his cot around 7:30pm, and he falls asleep by himself. It usually takes between 5-15 minutes for him to fall asleep, sometimes 30-40 minutes, but he lies there calmly until he drifts off. He's been doing this since he was around 11 months old - before this, we would hold his hand until he drifted off but we realised this was taking forever and wasn't sustainable, and within about a week he was completely weaned off it. We've had a routine of bath -pjs-story-bed since he was about 4 months old though and it's always exactly the same, so he knows what to expect.
I’m SAHP so my spouse comes home from work by 5:45, from then until 7-7:15 we are having dinner, having family time, etc. Around 7:15, she’ll change him, brush his teeth, and sometimes we nurse 5 minutes, sometimes we bathe, sometimes we don’t do either. She takes him to his bed and says good night, puts the sound machine on and walks out. He’s asleep in one minute. This is after 20 months of co sleeping and nursing to sleep. The second half of my parenthood life has finally begun. 😅
Yes that's normal. You're doing great.
I dont get these post...maybe I'm just a shitty parent? We tell our 2 year old its time for sleepies. It's 50/50 if she bitches or not, but we change her and give her hugs and lovin' and put her lil ass in bed and close her bedroom door. Again, 50/50 on if she cries, but if she does, its for like... a minute or two tops? Then goes right out like a light. Wakes up a happy child ready to go when she wakes. If we don't close her off, she wont go to sleep. She'll be dead tired, cranky, crying over everything...BUT WILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL from going out, the activity in the room and just us in general being around. I see all these post about, "my kid and i have a hour and 15 minute bed time routine and they still wont go to bed" and i'm left dumbfounded lol.
Every kid is different. If I had tried to do this with my oldest, she would've (read: did) had a full blown panic attack, screamed and cried until she threw up, and then probably hurt herself trying to get to us. You're not a shitty parent (obviously) because you found something that works for you and your kid. You are being unkind, though, by implying that your experience is universal and should work for every family.
This is me too. Our routine takes as long as it takes to change her clothes and diaper 🤷🏼♀️ we read books all day long so don't do that at bedtime. We just lay her down and say goodnight and leave and she rolls over and cuddles her blanket. 23 months old
This is me too. And sometimes I feel heartless, because maybe she would really like if we laid with her until she fell asleep. But if I’m in there, she gets more and more hyper and silly. We read books, sing songs, talk about our favourite parts of the day, hug and kiss, and then I’m gone. And yes, she tries to stall, and will cry for a minute, but then she’s back to playing or singing for a bit before she drifts off, and I’m doing some much needed cleaning or work before my own bedtime.
Yup! Its the exact same for us.
If you do it pretty much the same way every time, its still a routine! Its their signal that its time for sleep and will prepare them to go down easier. As you said, if you try a different way ("don't close her off") she struggles, and won't sleep. We do bath, PJs, books, cuddles/song, and then put down and close the door with our 2yo. It's on him to fall asleep. After working up to it, he's been independently falling asleep for a long time now, and if he cries it is rare, and I usually don't respond. Gotta give them a chance to figure it out, imo!
Same here. Your toddler shouldn't be running your life. If you let them decide when to go to bed, it will be never. You're a parent and are there to make sure your child is getting what they need - which is lots of sleep. You're not a shitty parent. You're setting boundaries and structure.
I find myself repeating a lot, "We make sure she gets what she needs, not what she wants. Those two aren't always going to be the same"
Yep I’m with you completely, we never stay in the room until they fall asleep
I'm not rocking to sleep. Our routine takes just under an hour starting with bath time and ending with storytime. After the last book I turn on the white noise and hold him for 2 mins (that's my imposed cuddle time) and then put him down to climb into bed. I cover him with the blanket and then I walk out. I have to stand by the gate for about 5 mins and reassure him that I'm still here but the key we've found is turning his head away from the door when we tuck him in. Game changer! Before, when he'd stare at the doorway it would take him an hour with a lot of back and forth to fall asleep. I will note, we did sleep training so there's been an expectation most of his life that he'll put himself to sleep.
Yeah that sounds normal. Mine takes about 30-45 min but sometimes a bit longer of she is really fighting it. She goes from drowsy looking (rubbing eyes/face) to suddenly rolling around in bed and then straight up leaving the room (which I ignore completely because she wants me to chase her), she gets giggly and loopy, then will switch suddenly to a few minutes of a tantrum and scream fest, then she is out! I know to expect this course of events. Is what it is.
I like to think we've got a pretty good routine here, and my newly three year old is generally very happy and well adjusted (and well behaved!) However - bedtime is our number one struggle, hands down. This guy has never been a fan of settling down for the night, and while he does sleep through the night, it took until he was over two years old to achieve that. We have a strict bedtime routine that takes about 60-90 minutes (similar to yours: bathtime and jammies, toothbrush, stories, sing a few songs or quietly watch a pre-selected YouTube playlist of songs together, and a quick snuggle, then bed). Somewhere between snuggle and bed, he often gets woken back up from his sleepy state. Maybe his brother moves a bit too loudly (they share a room), or the puppy decides to lick him, or that song that always makes him tired is just way too exciting today, or maybe he has a fun idea. And all of a sudden, bedtime is cancelled, and he's overtired and wide awake and too angry or upset to go to sleep. We have not figured out a way around it yet, but I wanted to offer some solidarity, because we've been struggling with this every other night for years now. I have to assume it will get better, we all learn to settle and sleep eventually! But it's *rough* while you're in the middle of it.
Mine takes an eternal hour of nonstop turning, kicking and corkscrewing before passing out at 10 pm
Longer than I’d like and shorter than they’d like.
You are not alone, and I have been wondering the same thing re is it normal how long it’s taking for my 25mo to actually fall asleep. For us the routine is about 1 hr, starting at 7, and then after we turn the light off (by 8pm) it usually takes 30-60 until he is actually asleep. It’s too long imo but it’s just the phase we’re in. I tell him a story while rocking in the chair or pacing then put him in the crib (much to his dismay lately) and rub his back or lay on the floor next to him. I have to stay in the room. And often pick him up again. I think my kid experiences a lot of separation anxiety at bedtime and I feel like I’ve tried a lot of different strategies but damn it doesn’t seem to ease. Also just toddler FOMO? His fave thing to say lately is “I wanna play play play all day day day” lol. These long bedtimes are so tiring. I miss my me time, I miss my time with my partner, and sadly on some nights I am annoyed bc I know I have some work to finish up and it just makes it a way later night than I want!
Sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 90. I've yet to quite figure out a reason for the variation beyond maybe what we did each day. The actual bedtime routine is generally the same - Bath starts between 7:30-8, 15 minutes in the bath max, then dry off, collect bedtime things, lie in bed with a story, then light off.
Few weeks shy of 2. Bath, milk, stories and bed takes maybe 30 minutes? She puts herself to sleep.
Bath, milk and then my husband and I lay down with her until she’s asleep usually between 30 and 45 min. She falls asleep on her own but we do have to be laying down with her until she’s down.
15-45 minutes
2, almost 3 year old son over here. We have long been on the 2 hour bed time routine track but just recently started being more firm in limiting how much time we spend on each step of the process. Our kids are late sleepers so bedtime routine starts between 8:30 and 9:00 pm and we have started getting better about 9:30 being lights off and time to get in bed the past week or so. Our daughter on the other hand, 17 months, if it was just her it would be maybe a 10 minute bed time routine? Change diaper and into pajamas, milk, 1 song and some cuddles, and into the crib. I'm sure that will change for her too.
My 2 year old can take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour. We have to lay with her until she's asleep, we read 1 story & then listen to lullabies on Alexa.
Depends on the day some days are quicker then others usually about 30 mins
Will be 2 in August. Same amount of time probably. teeth 2, pajama/potty 5, storytime 10, then dj his radio til he falls asleep.... maybe 10-20 mins on a good day. I just moved my guy out of my bed, but we have been doing the same routine for a long time. All regular, teeth, potty, pajama, then storytime. We have a smart light that I set to dim slowly over 10 mins. When the light goes out, the room is dark, storytime is over, it's time for bed. (We use a flashlight to read) Then we turn it on the red light, dimmest setting as a night light. I tuck him in, and turn on his music, and he listens to it as he goes to bed. Right now I still have to sit in the room with him, (a chair on the other side of the room) but am working on leaving the room completely once I turn on his radio.
It's pretty straightforward with my 25 mth old.... I don't bathe her every night and sometimes she's bathed in the AM instead, so I don't count a bath. Around 715 I brush her teeth. By 730, I tell her it's time to get changed for bed, change her, turn off light, turn on music box/stars, sing her twinkle little star, and lay her down and leave. Probably takes no more than 10 min. She usually passes out within 10-60 min. Sometimes she just talks to herself a lot. She never whines/cries for her once we shut her door. She's been this easy with bedtime since 6 mths old. I honestly don't expect her to keep being this easy once we switch her to a toddler bed though.
Tonight my girl was asleep before we even really got to the “meat” of our routine we did dinner bath changed I put her into the crib to grab her book/get ready(adjust lights and things) to sit in the story chair (formerly nursing chair) but the moment I stood her in the crib she was ready to sleep so I picked her up gently and rocked with her while reading her story said our prayers with the prayer bear before good night kiss and setting her down before starting her lullabies on the Alexa …. we don’t always do the bath and sometimes on other nights she’s still awake after bedtime story so it’s a bit of me slowly stepping backwards out the door occasionally reminding her to lay down until she’s fallen asleep and I can shut her door which some nights can take an hour+ just to get her settled enough to lay her head down once she’s asleep hubby and I do some YouTube watching before sneaking back in her room for another secret good night kiss /resetting the Alexa
We’ve gotten so good at this, he falls asleep within 10-15 minutes if that. I used to struggle so bad with putting him down, it would take an hour on most nights for him to finally fall asleep. I make sure to wear him down throughout the day and then we have a bedtime routine so he understands it’s bed time. I also will bribe him if he tries getting out of his room too many times, “go to sleep so we can have fun tomorrow!” “We will play tomorrow but you have to go to bed now.” I’ve also compromised and allowed him to take 2 toys, whether it’s Spider-Man, a car, stuffed animal or book to bed. Most night I don’t even hear him trying to read or playing with his cars, he just wants them for comfort. He also has a sound machine in his room and I will turn the light off from it if he gets out of bed too many times so it’s like a warning system. We figured out that a lot of our struggle was with him just wanting to feel some sort of control and comfort over his bed time. So allowing him to have a couple of toys or whatever, picking out his own pajamas, filling up his water cup, choosing the sound and color of his sound machine etc. have helped minimize us struggling with him to lay down. I can leave him in his room with the door cracked and he will be out on his own in 15 minutes top. If I sit on the floor next to him, he’s out even faster.
Bed time routine takes about 30-40 mins from going upstairs to him being asleep. We do bath, jammies, book, bottle, cuddle to sleep, then lay him down and out the room.
Less than 5 minutes, I just make sure he’s really tired. Gets up around 5.15-5.30 and goes to bed at 7 with no nap, he’s 3. If he naps even for a few minutes it takes way longer!
Yes absolutely same for me . What seems to help a bit is a routine of course , and a very specific thing that helped is the wee Willie Winkie rhyme .i used to sing to her this and now I say‘look it’s 8 o clock and wee Willie Winkie says all children in their bed '. I show her the clock and say it’s 8 and then put her to bed and I massage her while telling her about her day .what she ate from breakfast ,what she did until bedtime and this keeps her calm and she stays quiet until she goes to sleep . This doesn’t put pressure on her to process the day because I walk it through and she just adds or disagrees if I say anything or miss anything . A bit better and shorter 😅
Boob, teeth, pjs & nappy, couples of books, into bed he goes and he’ll fall asleep himself. 15 minutes.
The steps for us are: pyjamas, milk, teeth, story, kiss. It takes 15 minutes with me, but an hour or more with my wife. I'm afraid my son has just worked out that he can manipulate my wife into staying, so he exploits it for everything he's got. There's also a sweet spot between undertired and overtired that's important to identify. When I get it right my son falls asleep quickly, but when I leave it a bit late it can take him up to an hour to fall asleep
45 mins to sometimes 90 minutes. It can vary and can be exhausting.
We have a two and a half year old, and it used to be like that for us as well. Then we slowly moved from rocking him to just cuddling and touching him. Nowadays it's enough if we're in the same room as him, and he's usually out in 20ish minutes, given that he's tired enough and he didn't over-extend his nap. We don't do the baths and stories (I reserve that for naps so he still gets his quality reading time) — we figured he's old enough to understand that when it's bedtime, it's bedtime, so our only routine really is getting into PJs, peeing, and brushing his teeth.
From going upstairs to asleep in her bed is usually about half an hour. Does yours still nap? Removing the nap is what made this possible for us- previously with a half hour nap she was going to be at like 9pm and it took so so long to get her down. Now it’s mostly really easy.
Bathtime 830pm. Pajamas, brush teeth, mouthwash-830-9pm Stories 900-930 Hopefully shorter... Kiss goodnight 915pm. We leave the room, turn off lights, night light, white noise. Falls asleep on her own. Age 2.5
We start getting dressed, brushing teeth, read books or play at 8. In bed by 8:30. Usually sing songs and talk about silly things with her until around 8:44-8:50, but she's usually not asleep when I leave the room. She then proceeds to come out of her room 1-2 times, the last one usually being around 9.
Daddy starts bath at 7:45, in his room by 8:15 or so. Then I'll read from 8:30 to 9. Then it's lights out and snuggle to sleep. Normally takes about 30 minutes for him to fall asleep, but most of the time he's pretty calm about it so that doesn't bother me as much. We've tried even later, but I'm too tired by the end of the day for that nonsense (he's up at 6). My husband and I are definitely looking forward to him dropping his nap and hopefully sleeping more at night so we can have some time alone together again. Hopefully just a few more months!
22 month old here and because I nurse him, it takes around 20 minutes. I’m terrified of weaning haha.
1.5 year old and 30 minutes in total bedtime routine including 15 minute bath, 10min getting dressed/massage/teeth and 5 min stories.
Can you provide details of any naps, morning wake time and bedtime routine?
A game changer for us was—and this sounds silly—putting some stuffed toys for her to play with in her crib and telling her to show them how to go to sleep. She’ll play with them quietly for a bit sometimes, but after pj’s and teeth brushed I’d say we have it down to 5-10m. Read 1-2 books (include the animals! She turns the book around and shows them the page), turn off lights, let her know we will rock and sing a song to our animals then it’s time for bed. One or two songs in the rocker then put her in the crib and say “now it’s time to show Mr bunny and brownie bear how to sleep!” I’ll note that at some point recently we did re-sleep train using a modified Ferber but it only took one or two nights before she stopped crying for us when we left. It’s been a real relief at night to get her to bed and have time to shower and clean and still have a little time to ourselves. Even if she isn’t asleep yet, she’s happy in there.
We had to start changing a lot around two. Later bedtimes and nightlights helped a lot
Does your child go to daycare or you’re saying your with them and then it’s taking that long?
We have a 2.5 year old. From bath time to bedtime it takes about 30 mins. We read, rock and sing a few songs then I lay her down. She is usually stays awake about 20 mins talking to her stuffed monkey then falls asleep on her own.
I have a 4 year old and a 10 month old. We go up between 6.45-7pm, give them a bath together. One of us will take the baby out, get her ready for bed and take her into our room to give her her milk and put her to sleep. The other will let the toddler play in the bath for a bit, get her out (tooth brushing and toilet time happen just before bathtime) and ready for bed. She'll have her milk and a cuddle with whoever is putting her down that night and then she'll get into her bed. We're both usually free by 8pm on a good day.
Do you have a strict schedule or follow wake windows? Or some combo of both?
Both of my 3 and 5 year olds have had the same routine since about 1 years old. Pajamas, teeth, story, tuck in, lights out. They fall asleep within 15-30 minutes after we leave the room. If they are not particularly tired at the time we put them down, they just play quietly in their room with the lights out. They go to sleep between 6:30-7:30pm.
16 months: 730 bath, bottle, brush teeth, the same song on repeat, about 10-15 min rocking and he’s out. My daughter (5) was the same way. We have a strong routine and it’s about an hour for one person to get both of them to bed. She does bath and then two chapters of a book with us and then listens to a story on her yoto player to fall asleep.
2 years old, 7:00 bedtime routine starts (cup of milk, teeth, bath, book, pyjamas) and he’s done by 7:30. He falls asleep alone once tucked into bed.
My 2yo takes about the same time, unfortunately. He's starting to refuse his midday nap and pass out around 5pm for a catnap despite us trying to keep him awake 🙄 so bedtime has been late. We have a shower, pj's, brush teeth then we both lay down in bed and listen to audiobooks. At first he would go to sleep straight away. Now he gets really absorbed in them and won't fall asleep until I say we need to stop. But audiobooks are what keeps him in bed 🤷♀️
Same here, i haven't figured it out either. They're is one thing that helps, an earlier, scheduled nap. That doesn't seem to happen here.
20-30 minutes (2.5 yo) If it’s a bath day then bath at 7 if not we just skip this part. 7:30pm teeth brushing and pajamas 7:45pm “get the sillies out time” I let her jump on the bed, we do a dance party, I let her get whatever toy she wants to bring to bed with her basically use this as the opportunity to get her energy out and do all the delaying bedtime things kids like to do 8pm read 1 or 2 books Asleep by 8:30. If she has a late nap where she wakes up at 3pm instead of 2pm (which sometimes especially on weekends/ non daycare days she does) we move back our timeline by an hour. She wakes up between 6:30-7am and naps from 12:30-2pm Editing to say: she is the biggest Velcro baby ever. We never sleep trained she has always contact napped (except at daycare) If your bedtime is at a decent time and you know that they’re tired - they may be delaying bedtime because they’re wanting more connection with you. Lay down with them in bed for longer until after they fall asleep, reassure them that you’re right around the corner if they wake up ( we cosleep but I assume most parents still use a camera or something to check on their kids rooms?)
23 month old, 15 minutes tops on non bath night, 30 on a bath night. Brush teeth, read 2 books, cuddle for a minute, zip her in her sleep sack, say good night and leave the room. She will play with her stuffed animals for a bit or talk herself to sleep usually within 15-20 mins.
Bedtime is usually around 1.5- 2 hours including the full routine. We start at 730 and she is usually sleeping by 9 but sometimes later
My little chap is 4.5 years old and I still cuddle him to sleep. Previously it was taking about an hour, but since nursery finished for the summer holidays last week, it is taking 2-3 hours and I am struggling!!
We don’t take very long. Just brush teeth and then put him in bed. He puts himself to sleep so he talks in his room on his own for like 30mins before he actually falls asleep
Our son is 2.5. Bedtime routine is about 45 min. We read 4-5 books while he has a last snack or some milk. Then Jammies on and we brush our teeth. After that he picks his stuffed animals out to sleep with. I sing to him and place him in his crib and we have a quick “bye bye” exchange with me outside his door. Takes anywhere from 5-15 min to fall asleep. We’ve had basically the same routine (with a few age related variations) since he was about 3 months old.
Around 2 yo, our now 3 year old started falling asleep independently. It would take her a while at first (we'd keep an eye on her through the monitor), but now at 3 she's usually asleep in minutes after we leave the roon since she stopped napping around 2.5 yo. The time is actually takes us, the adults, is however long it takes to read a few books and tuck her. Sometimes we sit at the edge of her bed and she tells us about her day for a few minutes. Then hug & kiss, white noise on, lights off, and bye bye baby! The almost 4 month... Don't even want to think about how long it takes to get her down for the night 😭
My first born was much more difficult to put to sleep at night. He still is - he requires a whole intensive routine and simply cannot fall asleep before 11pm if he doesn’t get melatonin. His brain just won’t shut off, he talks and talks and talks. My husband used to regularly fall asleep in there waiting for my son to fall asleep. My second child is much easier; she has a bedtime routine but it’s bath, teeth, ~15 minutes of stories, hugs and kisses and we leave the room. She can get out of her bed, but doesn’t and just goes to sleep.
6 dinner 6:30 bath 6:50 lotion and naked play time (lol), sometimes we read some books if he’s into it 7:20 brush teeth, diaper, PJs 7:30 we go into our bedroom and lay on the floorbed in the dark. I sing two songs and rub his back and he nurses to sleep. It usually takes 20-40 minutes and then I ninja roll out of there
We let them fall asleep when they are tired between 9-10pm, fall asleep within 5-15 mins.
About 30 minutes from beginning to end. We do bath, hygiene tasks, pajamas, 2 books, a song, then crib. She usually settles herself and falls asleep within a few minutes. If she cries, it’s less than 3 minutes. We did have to do some sleep training to get there. We did a gentle way similar to Ferber. We did the routine and walked out of the room, but returned to settle her down if she cried more than 3 minutes. We avoided picking her up to settle her and did things like rub her back, sing a lullaby, etc. Once she was re-settled we would say good night and leave again to repeat the process. If she was hysterical we would pick her up and rock her but try to put her back down before she fell all the way asleep.
I think I'm incredibly lucky because it literally only takes us 5-10 minutes. My 3.5 year old still takes a cup of milk before bed so she'll drink that and we will get ready like changing, tooth brush, etc. And then tuck the stutfed animals in bed and give her a night light and say goodnight and leave. She doesn't always go to sleep right away but she's 95% of the time happy and will just play a little or sing songs and then eventually go to sleep. (I'll add that for the first 4 months of her life she only slept in 15 min increments and screamed constantly so I think she's paying me back)
Lately 1.5 to 2 hours 🫠
My son just turned 2 and we spent a lot of time shortening his bedtime routine. We used to do multiple stories, a song, the whole production. Now we’re down to bath and teeth, pjs (and I sing while I dress him), one book and it’s lights out. Maybe 20-30 minutes max, if I have to clip nails or something. I do the routine basically every night, and while it was a rough transition at first, he doesn’t usually cry at all, unless he’s not feeling good or having an off day. He usually takes 15-20 minutes to fall asleep but is quiet about it so I don’t care
We give our two year old a bath, read him two books, cuddle in our bed and go over our day and then he says goodnight and tucks us into bed (so he thinks we’re all going to sleep and we avoid the “fear of missing out”). He goes into his room and closes his door, turns his light off and is usually asleep within 15-20 minutes.
2 years old on 7/19 7:15 teeth brushed and bath time 7:30 lotion and jammies 7:35 read two books 7:45 lights off, sound machine on, sing you are my sunshine two times while rocking 7:50 lay him in bed, hugs kisses and say goodnight Asleep anywhere from 8-8:30 depending how tired he is. Usually sleeps through until 6:30-7.
Our 17 month old falls asleep almost instantly when we put him in his crib. It surprises me every time, because he is SO chaotic during his bedtime routine (milk, book, brush teeth, song). He is at his most energetic, and super goofy, and then sometimes gets upset as we bring him to his crib. But once his head hits his mattress, he’s out! (I realize this makes it sound like he’s overtired, but he actually has a shorter second wake window. He usually naps something like 12-2, goes to bed between 7 and 7:30, and wakes up between 6 and 6:30.) We did sleep train at about 6 months.
Bath, teeth, books, tuck in, lights out. It takes about 30 minutes. It was life-changing no longer having to rock our baby to sleep.
My toddler is 17 months. We do - 6:15 bath 6:25 getting dried, creams, PJs etc. 6:40 milk 6:50 getting in sleep sac, brush teeth, story 7:00 place in crib He self settles to sleep. Normally ranges from 5-20 minutes for him to fall asleep.
When my son was like that he was overtired. Then eventually it turned into under tired and we needed to cut out his nap. Now he gets a burst of energy after a bath so I can't do bath, book and bed. It has to be, bath, play, book, bed.
My 2 year old son co-sleeps with me and my husband. He also nurses to sleep. Bedtime is at 8pm. It usually takes him 2-5 minutes to fall asleep.
If you include bathtime as part of the bedtime routine it takes anywhere from 70 - 100 mins. It’s been terrible since she turned 2 but we haven’t been able to get it back to a good place
Same boat with our 4 year old. By the time he's actually in bed and settled enough for me to leave his room it's so late that all we really have time for is packing lunches, showering, then it's bedtime for us too. We've tried a few things to get him to bed earlier and become more independent but he resists and we end up not getting any sleep, becoming zombies at work, then saying "F it! We can't outlast him, we need sleep"
I read her a book and then say good night and leave. So 5ish minutes? She won’t go to sleep right away but no issue with me leaving. Her older sister was the same way at her age too.
It's taking so long because your kid misses you. It's the only time they get to connect with you. Also, he's two. Being alone is scary and lonely. He craves attention and love. If he goes to daycare during the day, then he's likely spending more waking hours with other 2 yo and teachers that have to spli their time with 15 other kids. When it's taking longer than I'd like it to, I remind myself of all of this. My partner and I switch nights but recently my kid asked us to split it. So one night I do pajamas/teeth and read and then partner comes in and does the rest, which is lights out and then setting a timer for 10 minuyes then talking about the day, or singing a song or just sitting in the dark talking. Once timer goes off then kid goes into bed and we go check on her every 5 minutes. She's usually asleep after one check. My partner often lets her fall asleep while holding her and then puts her in bed. She's too big for me to do that. She also comes in our bed around 1am every night, which I previously had issues with, but then realized she's craving being near us since she is gone from us 8+ hours of the day. So now I actually look forward to it, although we don't sleep as good. I think the benefits outweigh the lack of sleep for us.
Natalie Willis sleep training program worked for us with both our kids. We put them in bed, tuck them in, say prayers, and then we leave.
Yup about 1.5-2 hours! We go up around 8:30 and he’s asleep by 10-10:15 it’s a long process but it’s quality time with no tv or devices and a great time for us to connect. Will be glad when we drop the nap and he can sleep earlier.
We’ve had a wondrous turn around in the last two weeks. He’s 2.5. He was an amazing sleeper before 2. Then at 2, we went toddler bed and no pacifier and all hell broke loss. We thought, well, this is it until he’s like 5. For the last 6 months, our routine took about an hour and consisted of jammies, teeth, two books, two quick songs, and kiss good night. We’d leave, he’d bang on door (we have a toddler lock on the door). We’d increase the time between checking on him and getting him back into bed but he often needed us back in there like 3-5 times. It was screaming, crying, asking for more books, more songs, more snacks, banging and pulling on the door. So for probably 20-30 minutes we were just stressed and definitely made bedtime feel like the worst part of the day. We knew he probably wasn’t tired enough but we couldn’t shorten his nap (he would refuse to wake up unless he had at least 1.5 hours of nap during the day, we tried) but we also didn’t want to keep him up until 9pm. Because then our adult evening was truly gone. So we decided to let him read and do his own thing in his room after we said good night. So for the last two weeks he’s been doing that and it’s glorious. He’ll read, put on his boots and cowboy hat, put all his stuffies in his bed and roll around on them, make weird made up songs, he keeps himself busy. We watch him on the monitor, and his room is childproof. This has been a game changer. The first day or so he whined because he didn’t want to be alone (and normally isn’t very good at independent play) but he’s getting better and better at it each day. He seems to actually enjoy it. So we’ll say good night at 7:50 or so, he’ll play independently for 20-40 minutes and then either fall asleep on the ground, in his bed, or call for us to tuck him in.
30 minutes. 45 minutes if we do bath. Dinner is at 5:15 and she can play with any time left over before we start the routine. Bath 5:45-6:00 Lotion/pajamas 6:00 Reading books, offer breast as we read until 6:20ish 6:20 brush and floss teeth in bed 6:25 get into zipadee zip 6:30 asleep within a few minutes typically. Sometimes she will make some noise and get comfy. Her sleep and developmental needs are more important to us than trying to get a few minutes with us. We wake up at 5:30 to get ready for work and she typically is at daycare 7:00ish.
2.5 year old girl, 8:00PM - sippy cup of warm milk, diaper change, get in pajamas 8:20PM - read one book, usually Goodnight Moon, but sometimes we do Llama Llama Red Pajama if it seems like a fun night for jumping and stomping before bed (she loves those pages). 8:30PM - Tuck her into bed, give her a stuffy if she wants one, cover with blankets, kisses and hugs and I-love-yous and see-you-tomorrows, then lights off, bedroom door locked (for safety, parts of the house are not safe for her to wander in unsupervised, we have cats, litterboxes, etc, plus if there was ever a fire, heaven forbid, I'd want to know exactly where she was to get her out). After that, she fusses for 30 seconds - 2 minutes (seriously, she waits until the door is shut and locked before making a peep, there's no issues with the tucking in or any of that), usually tries the door once, sometimes she plays with the stuffies in her room. We have her mattress on the floor, and the only toys allowed in her bedroom while sleeping are soft ones. We keep an eye on her with the baby monitor, and it can take anywhere from 10 - 60 minutes for her to lay down in bed and go to sleep. Anything 30 minutes and under I consider to be pretty solid. She's not crying for any of this time, she's playing or talking to herself, rolling around in bed, etc. We don't do baths every night, so that's not part of our routine; I fit them in when they're convenient, so sometimes it's morning, sometimes afternoon, and sometimes evening bathtime, depending on the day. We have always had a wait-10-minutes rule for sleep crying/fussing, since 4-5 months, and it worked well for us, plus we can usually tell real crying from fuss crying. We did middle-of-the-night milk until she was 1.5 and dropped that wake up/started refusing the milk if we got her up. A lot of this is child-specific, I'd guess. She's always been a pretty decent sleeper, and has been able to sooth herself back to sleep since quite young. I don't know that I'd credit that to our parenting/sleep strategies or if it's more that she's just a good sleeper. We have number 2 on the way, so I guess we'll find out. Also, I listed this routine as starting at 8pm but, if she had a bad nap, we might start it at 7pm or 7:30pm depending on her evening mood/general fussiness level. Our evenings prior to bedtime routine are all about playing with her too. I figure it's playtime until it's time for bed, and when it's time for bed we want it closer to ripping off a bandaid than a long drawn out ordeal.
Go upstairs at 7, have some milk, read a book, brush teeth, asleep by 730. She's 20 months.
Mine used to take forever. We tried a few different things. He decides if he wants lights on or lights off. lights on means that he can get one book from his shelf and read it in bed, he’s never made it past 15mins. Lights off means that he wants to sleep straight away. I make sure to leave the door open and tell him that I will be in the next room watching tv. We used to lay by him for hours but once we gave him choices and explained to him what was going to happen, he was fine!
I admire your stamina. Our actual bed time routine is maybe 5 minutes, but we warn her that it's coming. I tell my toddler (2.5) that she has 1-5 more of whatever she's doing before bedtime. That usually means dancing to 2 songs, but it could be reading books or playing a game like Candyland. She knows that she has to go to bed after. After dancing/whatever activity, she sits on the potty and brushes her teeth. She knows she has to go in the bed after that. I used to tell her I'm leaving if she isn't lying down by the time I count to ten, and it immediately made her listen. Now she just does it, and I hang out while she falls asleep. That's usually the five minutes. Sometimes I read her her stories, but she doesn't prefer it currently. The catch to this short bedtime is that I don't bother trying unless she's tired, so she stays up late sometimes hanging out with us. I also let her back out if she tried and truly isn't tired after a long time.
Our 2.5 year transitioned to a big boy bed 3 months ago. We give him a bath around 7/7:15. One parent reads to him in his room. When that is over he gives everyone goodnight kisses. Gets into bed awake. Some nights he falls asleep right away some nights he plays in the dark for and hour. I don’t think he has been awake later than 8:45 with this setup.
Minutes. My son is autistic and prefers to do his own thing. After his bath and book, the kid is READY to get me out of his room. He shuts his door and says “G’bye!” It’s glorious until about 3:30-4:00 am when he wakes and walks into our room, fully ready to party. It sounds cuter than it is because we are constantly exhausted! If we’re traveling, then it can take him hours!
This was us, until one night I put her in her bed and said, “Okay, I’m going to go to bed. I’ll leave the door open and the hallway light on. I’m right here.” I leave, she falls asleep. Some nights I have to go back in and “tuck her in” or stand at the door and say, “It’s okay, time to go night night. I’m still here.”
3 yo and 5 yo share a room 6:45ish bath, 7:00 pjs on, depending on time books and/or dance party, 7:30 snuggles for 5-10 minutes 5 yo is asleep within 5 minutes of us leaving the room most nights 3 year old often plays quietly in her bed, fighting sleep until 8:30ish If we do a later bedtime the 3 yo gets over tired and won’t go down for a couple hours, so we just let her do her thing until she goes to sleep on her own
It depends on what we’ve done that day/when naps happened, but usually our LO has a bath around 7/8, a bottle on the couch, then we take her to her room and turn out the lights, I sing a couple songs while holding her, and then I put her in the crib, say goodnight, and walk out. Some nights she’s asleep almost instantly with no fuss, other nights she plays in her crib for 1+ hours. I just let her play in her crib without going back in, unless she cries like something is wrong. Sometimes I think she’s just mad that she has to sleep and doesn’t want to stop playing, but I hold the boundary. Bed time is bed time. She’s safe in her crib, in her room that I spent hundreds of dollars decorating lmao. She’s fine, she’ll lay down and sleep when she’s ready.
We do bath and books and then put him in his bed. He falls asleep himself.
Our 3 year old has always been a great sleeper, luckily. Shower, couple books, and we say goodnight. 30 mins tops. We made nap time and sleep a priority since she was little. Sleep training started at 5 months.
We put him in bed awake and shut the door and he’s asleep in 5-15 minutes. There came a point in babyhood where our involvement in putting him to sleep kept him stimulated and awake.
5pm Dinner time usually an hour with some screentime. 6pm Bathtime about 30 mins or whenever she's done playing usually 630 630-730pm Couch cuddles movie and milk/snack 730pm time for sleepies-she wishes everyone a goodnight and walks right into her room, gives me kisses and hugs wants her slothy and bed. She's an independent girl in her own world lol She sleeps through the night and has been for almost a year. She's turning two next month😭
We go upstairs and brush teeth around 7:30. Put on pajamas and read 2 stories in bed (just moved to big boy bed.). After the stories he gets some snuggles, and I’m out of the room by about 7:50. He is still awake but when I check the monitor 10-20 minutes later he has settled to sleep. It used to take forever to get him to bed. I focused a ton the last 4 months on shortening the routine and not budging. He was getting good at putting himself to sleep in the crib and somehow managed to continue to do that this week when we switched to a full size bed.
3.5 year old here. From story time to sleep it takes between 10-30 minutes and it has been that way for a long time, we always stay in the room until he's asleep and have never ever sleep trained. If its taking a long time I would suggest yours simply isn't tired enough. Either push bedtime back or reduce their nap if that's applicable so their sleep pressure is greater come bedtime
If you’re staying with him during this time, then yeah it’s normal. They take much longer to fall asleep if they have company than if they’re alone. Mine falls asleep in under 5 minutes if she’s alone. When we travel and she shares a bed with us, she’ll take over an hour to go to sleep
We start his bath at 8 pm and he goes to bed at 9. We do bath, pajamas, books and then I lay with him in his rocking chair for 5 min. I put him down awake and he falls asleep on his own. He sleeps until 7:30-8 am. I’d like to move his bedtime earlier but I can’t control his naps at daycare and he needs a certain number of hours of wake time before he’s sleepy enough to go to bed, so 9 pm it is. He is 2 years old.
Usually about 30-45 minutes. Longer if it’s a bath night since my kid is apparently half fish and loves his water time! But the main routine is: brush teeth and wash face, “run and jump” into the dog bed in mom and dad’s room a couple times, then into his own room to get changed into a night diaper and pajamas. Then we read 2-5 books, turn on music, and sit together in the rocking chair and talk for a little bit- usually a recap of the day, sometimes he tries jokes (25 month old comedian over here!) we say his affirmations, howl at the moon, and then it’s hugs, kisses, and snuggles while we rock for a while. And then I either carefully put a sleeping dude into his bed or set him in there awake to lie himself down and give him a blanket. One more I love you and close the door. And then I grab the monitor and do dishes, laundry, or whatever else. He usually stays put where he lays down, but sometimes will talk to himself or his little bluey plush in bed for a bit and then goes to sleep.
We have a bath every other day. It’s usually go on the toilet, wash hands, brush teeth, pajamas, read 2-3 books, change diaper, kisses and hugs, turn off lights, and place down in crib. She’s 2.5 and we’ve been letting her go on the toilet before naps and bedtime. Haven’t started fully potty training though. Normally it’s about 30 minutes. She does have her moments when she’s fussy or refusing so it has taken an hour before.
My two year old stopped taking naps completely so getting him down is easier. He wakes up between 6-7am. Sleep by 7pm every night takes about 15min for him to fall asleep and sleeps through the night.
18mo. Bath, teeth, let run around like a maniac for 5-8 min, then pjs. Try to read 3 books, usually results in a "no" half way through every once except Goodnight Moon. I try to sing or hum a song, get a "no". So I say goodnight, drop in crib, say bye and leave. Never takes more than 25 min start to finish. 7:15-7:35ish and is asleep by 8-8:15ish.
After dinner and some chill time, read 2 books, brush teeth, pajamas and night diapers, say family prayers in their room. Rock the 2yo and 4yo for 3-5min while I chat with them. Turn the sound machine on, in their beds, peace out. About 20minutes unless the books are exceptionally wordy.
2 hours, she's 21m and I start the routine at 7 but she's not remotely tired. I get her in pajamas and have a milk bottle and stories, then she goes off and plays with toys and I have to corral her back for toothbrush. Often times she'll try to run off with the brush so I have to brush for her and get it back. Then she's off playing again and I have to get her into bed with the curtains and the sleep noise and shut the doors. Even then she's out of bed several times. Asleep anywhere between 9 and 10
My son is 20 months and it takes about 15-20 minutes. Brush teeth, diaper change and pjs, bottle (we’re working on changing this), a couple books, a song or two then bed. It takes me longer than my husband because they do the exact same thing every night, but my son knows he can make song requests with me.
Our 2.5 is similar, in that it's not too difficult but she likes a very specific routine (takes 30-40min). We warn her of going upstairs/to bedroom with a timer. Then read exactly 3 books of her choosing, go potty, sing songs while getting diaper and sleep sack applied, and then one parent rocks and sings before laying in crib awake. I think of it as connection time too!
Mine is quick. Bath, books and milk, brush teeth, tuck in with a kiss and she goes right to sleep. Fingers crossed she keeps this up forever lol
Dinner around 5 pm, bath right afterwards (while the other parents cleans up kitchen), and then we play, read, FaceTime grandparents between 6-7 pm. Then she gets her last cup of milk, and we go upstairs to change and brush teeth. I don’t considering it “doing bedtime” until we go upstairs so it takes 10-15 min. Most of the time she goes down pretty easily — I hold her for a bit, she turns off the light, and we say “bye!” Occasionally, she cries and I will rock her for a few minutes and sing a couple of lullabies. Usually we’re out of her room by 7:30-7:45. Edit: She is 21 months.
Starts around 6:30 ends around 7. Routine: Books, Bath, put PJs on & brush teeth while playing calming sleep music, says goodnight to dad and cat then we sing & cuddle before going down
20-30 mins. But I don’t exactly think there’s a “normal” to this, just like adults all fall at different times.
Straight after tea we give her milk (,she's 2.5 years). She finishes the bottle while we read a book, upstairs for teeth brushing, pyjamas and bed. Shut the door and walk out. 15-20 mins? Asleep 6:30pm, wakes up 7-7:30am. Seems there are some wild routines in this thread but that works for us.
30 mins - 1 hour depending on the night and whether we do a bath. He’s 1.5 years old right now. Routine is bath (usually every other night), lotion and diaper, pajamas, 1-2 books, milk, brush teeth, a few minutes of cuddles and into bed. 75% of the time he falls asleep on his own. He knows mom (me) is the sucker so he sometimes won’t go down without me rocking him.
I recently employed a sleep consultant, who informed me that it should take between 15-30 minutes for your child to fall asleep. If it takes any longer, OR it's too quick, the child is either overtired or undertired. So I've moved around their sleep time and now put both of them to sleep at the same together (!!!) Even though there's 3 years between them. They both fall asleep around the same time, 19.30-20.00, and sleep until 06.30-7.00.
Maybe 25-30 minutes? We do bath, brush teeth, pjs, read a couple of books and then we say goodnight, put him in his crib and he goes to sleep on his own. If we skip the bath, we can get it done in like 15 minutes lol!
7:27: kids go off and get ready for bed, teeth brushed and go potty. Typically takes like 5-10 minutes and then we all go to the room, I read 2 stories, kids each pick a song to sing and dance to and my husband and I sing the 2 songs and they do whatever they do to that song. Hugs, kisses, lights out. We're typically out of their room at 8 and then 8-10 is our gaming time. Some of these responses are wacky. Multiple hours for a bedtime routine sounds horrible
Hmm. We had this issue but at about 25months it all changed. We do a bit of milk, bath time, teeth brushing. Once he's in the room with lights off it's 5-10m of rocking till he does his first yawn. At that point we transfer to the crib and walk out. He may still be awake for another 5 to 10 mins but 90 percent of the time he goes to bed without any other intervention. We do the exact same routine everyday. He occasionally objects to it but we essentially ignore it outright. I'm sure that's a questionable parenting style. But personally I don't think parents should be negotiating with their child about sleep.
Yea that’s normal, enjoy it while you have it. Eventually they will want little to do with you and will be so independent. Love them as much as you can while they want it.
Honestly the ideal way to sleep is together. Doesn’t have to be the same bed but even just in the room together makes them feel more at peace and more comfortable knowing that mommy and daddy are going to sleep as well and they can see that and experience that so it can help them learn about sleep. Just telling them doesn’t mean much since they can’t see it. They always want to see things rather than just hear about it.
30 minutes for bath (most nights) and 30 minutes of bedtime routine (vitamins, teeth brushing, a little play, stories, saying goodnight) then we put her down and leave her. Sometimes she falls right to sleep, sometimes it takes her a bit
You’re going to want to look into a Dr. Becky membership. Lifechanging!
My kid used to need a routine and there was a lot.of resistance but since about 2-2.5 years age he started to like bedtime. No routine, but I'll have him changed and teeth brushed and he'll usually just tell me he wants to sleep and walks to his bed. He'll talk to himself for a big sometimes, but 9/10 I leave the bedroom and he's asleep within 20 minutes.. Expecting he may get more resistant as he gets older or moves to a big bed not a cot 😂
7:00 head upstairs and start wind down time. Play with Tonies/stuffies/books. Call Dad to say good night/talk about the day. 7:30 bath time 7:45 lotion/jammies/teeth/hair 8:00 into bed to snuggle 8:15-8:20ish asleep
At 2 years, yep it took almost an hour many nights. I was nursing to sleep until 2 years 7 months when we fully weaned. Now she’s 3 and 2 months and we read a story and put her to bed. Maybe once or twice a week I’ll need to go back in to get her water or a hug, but generally shes asleep within 15 minutes of me leaving the room. It takes time! And at 2 years old many kids are simply not ready to be left alone to fall asleep.
Bedtime routine from start to finish is on average abo7t 1.5 hours. It's way too long, imo. And that's not even actually to get her to sleep -- it's just to put her in bed and walk away.
3 year old here. Every other day is a bath, then pajamas, teeth brushing, book and snuggles, a couple of songs, and a tuck in. The whole thing from heading upstairs until lights out is 30m-1h depending on if it’s a bath night or not. It’s become longer over time as she’s learned to procrastinate unfortunately. Lots of “mommy I have to tell you something” or “wait look what I can do!” these days, so it can be hard to keep her on task. Then it probably takes her another 15-30 min to actually fall asleep - sometimes she’ll look at another book herself or be up there singing or playing with her stuffed animals, but she’ll eventually wind down on her own.
The part where we change his diaper, put on pj's and sleep sack, read books, and lay him in his crib is less than half an hour. But before that there's nursing, and then a snack, and this sort of gradual wind down with lots of stalling on his part and that all takes about an hour.
9pm around 15 minutes
Same. Best case 45 mins, worst case I switch with my wife after 90 mins and go to the bar
Bath, jammies, milk, story, brush teeth, cuddles in the rocking chair then bed. Start to finish 45 minutes. It’s one “goodnight” and she rolls over and goes to sleep. We have followed the exact same routine since she was tiny. We are incredibly lucky- she has been a good sleeper since she was 4 months old!
Sleep train
less than 1 minute. wife is a beast and this toddler is exhausted
4 and 1.5yo, both asleep within minutes of us leaving the room consistently
An hour. Minimum. We brush teeth. 10 min for that- if she doesn’t put on a whole performance while doing it she won’t do it. Then she has to say good night to literally everything. Then me & her have to hide under a blanket in her room from her dad. Then we change diaper. Then she picks out some books to read (SHE has to pick them). Then I leave and my husband reads 2-3 books. Then she needs a hug. And this blanket. And oh no not that blanket that one. Wait no that one. Oh wait no her baby isn’t UNDER the blanket with her. Ok let’s start over. An hour later my husband can leave the room. Then she talks and talks and talks for another 15 min. Then asleep lol
We are really lucky right now because my 2 year old doesn’t fight bedtime yet. We brush teeth, do bath every other night, pajamas and sleep sack, read a couple books, cuddle on the couch, and sing a song on the way to bed (his favorite “All of Me”) and then put him in his crib. He sometimes wakes up crying in the night and has separation anxiety at 2 am but fortunately his bedtime routine is painless at the moment.
mine is fighting sleep rn. He’s 21 months and he just will scream and kick and thrash around at bedtime. Trying different routines and giving them like 3 weeks of a chance as of rn lol. Only thing he wants is a bottle
From 5 - 90 mins which depends on activities of the day and afternoon nap
Seems legit. Source: 3YO sass monster.
We eat dinner kind of early. But really whenever toddler says she is hungry. I'd rather feed a hungry kid than a kid that's not in the mood. Try to stick to 5-6pm but sometimes she's hungry earlier. If that's the case she gets a snack later. Bath time around 6pm. From 6:30-7:30 it's a slow burn. Read books, brush teeth, out on pajamas and I let her get the playfulness out of her system. I usually watch nightly news in that time frame if I can. Otherwise I have no idea what's going on in the world. I try not to be on my phone around my kids so I really have no clue about news unless I turn it on in the evening. 7:30 bed with the option to read a book with lights on for a bit by herself or lights out immediately. She chooses lights out usually but sometimes she wants to look at her books. I have another younger baby that I have to nurse to sleep nap if she opts for book reading I take the books away at 8pm and turn the lights out and a kiss. On days we are in a hurry? Dinner is 30 minutes. Bathtime is 15 minutes. Brushing teeth and pajamas are right after bedtime and 5 minutes. Maybe 10 minutes cause it's two kids. Read just one book instead of several and I pick it out to save time. Bed immediately with a kiss and tuck in. I get no complaints when we do rapid fire night routine.