becuz im into ladies why dont YOU live as an effeminate gay man???? why doesnt EVERYBODY live as an effeminate gay man????? BECUZ THATS NOT OUR IDENTITIES

Women, why don’t you just be men?

Cis people: no, not like that!!!!

You've just solved sexism. Here's your nobel prize.

Jokes on them, I'm extremely gay, just not at all a man B)

Exactly!

Well shoot I’ll volunteer if no one else wants to. Don’t worry I’ll save the dwindling effeminate gay man population from extinction

laughs in gnc transmasc mlm

Hey same! Welcome fellow effeminate gay man

Ah yes Like being a girl? Try being a guy into guys 💀

A certified "girs don't exist, they're all just effeminate gay men in denial." moment

Because I’d be treated like a guy, and I like my boobs and I didn’t like my dick. And that’s just for starters

I love my boobs so MUCH

Yes boobs are good. ~~I wish I had some~~ (BTW, I love your flair. It’s really cool)

So do I! What transitioned girl doesn’t?

Love boobs so much I want bigger ones

Because the G the the T in LGBT represent different things 😎

Uh no ghose are liggerally ghe same tod damn legger obviously ingerchantable /s

I had a stroke trying to read this than realised which subreddit I'm in again 😆

I read this correctly then realised how much was wrong with it...

This is top tier humor right here 😂 /gen

The mix of homophobia and transphobia. Like. No, trans people can't just live as their AGAB, and no, GNC people aren't gay by default.

Non-binary people are floating point numbers and therefore gay non-binary people are into other floating points and ones

Binary people are integers then.

*booleans

This makes me think of when I came out to my mom as trans and she said, “I could handle you being gay, but not this!” I’m just like, well surprise bitch, I’m a lesbian 💀

Hahaha awww 🫂 Sorry That news probably didn't compute I have to imagine I have had the thought before " Why did the socially awkward person managed to be the one kind of LGBT that has to explain to their landlord and dentist why couldn't have been One that's only relevant to partners?"

That last sentence broke my brain

Sorry

Because I’m not feminine, Karen. I’m butch. Estrogen let me understand my masculinity for the first time.

Wow that's really cool!

Kind of similar here, it is not that I resent a lot of my more "masculine" traits, mainly my body and social perception. I in fact enjoy when other people see me as strong. I'd rather be the type of woman who could hold a fem guy in a bridal carry than be one myself.

Cuz girls pretty.

Cause I'm... not one, I thought about it for about two months and decided it wasn't me. Love them, it's just not who I am. I didn't spend all of my childhood and young adult years wishing I was an *effeminate gay man*.

Hug

Cause I’m not a gay man Carrol. (My mom asked my why I couldn’t be gay. I am just gay for women…and an occasional guy who’s probably a woman too. Also nice hidden loss meme.

FUCK Every time….

Lololololol

This is an unironic question they ask you when trying to transition through the NHS here in the UK. It's so fucking degrading and tremendously rude and I hate that cis people seem to think they know who we are better than ourselves.

Sorry 🫂

Be cause there's no boobs involved in that?

Tried it for 20 years... very nearly didn't survive.

🫂

same; same

My last therapist asked me why I'm so sure I'm not just a lesbian. I had to resist the urge to ask her why she's so sure she's not just a gay man. Also I'm not even exclusively into women, and never mentioned anything about my sexuality to her. She just assumed that I couldn't possibly be trans *and* gay.

"Did you ever try dating a girl?" Well ma'am I'm marrying one so... 😂 I could see the gears turning so I think she learned something that day at least

"Why couldn't you just be gay" "I am gay! I'm a woman and I have a GF!" "Wait but she's trans too, right???" 🤯

same with my mum saying she'd rather i go punk/goth

for the last time mum I don't want my hair in a Mohican

Why not both lol

I still don't even know if I want to be feminine, estrogen just feels really good.

I have feminine things about myself that I've embraced since realizing, but at the same time I'm very much a tomboy. I'm perfectly comfortable in my old clothes (outside that they are way too big for me now) and have no interest in makeup. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin.

Fellas is it gay to be lesbian

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Awwww 🫂 Well I'm glad you're doing a lot better Happy cake day

I see you've met my aunts.

Aww 🫂 Sorry, I never understood the logic. Me pre HRT: " My body hair makes me uncomfortable, My masculine features of all kinds make me uncomfortable, I'm sad I don't have boobs or curves" Them:" Why don't you try dating men"

I believe it comes down to the (outdated) belief that transgender women are men with mental health problems. Many still think that "being transgender" is a fetish or an ideology. The see it as something you *do*. They don't seem to get that the word "transgender" is an adjective.

FTM here, i got "Why don't you just get a strap on?"...mind you we were not talking about sexual stuff at all.

Oooof sorry.

Thank you, and same to you🙈💕

When I told someone I was trans he said I should take testosterone instead and jerk off more. I transitioned instead.

Do you even know why he's bringing that connection? I can't even imagine where the chain of logic went there I'm so sorry that must have been awful

His chain of logic was that dick is good so more dick is gooder. That was the extent of his logic.

Living cisgender as a trans person is like having 2 arms but only using 1 because that's what conservative society expects of us. Realizing we've been living in a box limiting who we are and how we feel inside. When I came to terms with who I was happy tears were spraying out of my eyes like a fountain

Just like when someone asks me why I don’t just live as a butch lesbian 🙃

I thought I couldn’t like boys cuz I felt 100% that I wasn’t a gay man, it’s cuz I’m a woman.

People still ask this (I’m transbian)

Booba.

Don't do the thing I don't like, instead do the other thing I don't like

I was living with my sister cause I was basically ticking off the boxes for homelessness; I was trans, suicidal, lost my job, was losing my apartment, and totaled my car. She took me in, but her husband decided to give me a "pep talk" by explaining that I would never pass as a woman, but that didn't mean I couldn't live life as a "wonderful female-personality person <3" and I guess I was so offended by this take that it eliminated my self doubt and dysphoria immediately. I decided I was going to woman even harder, and I felt completely comfortable in my identity from that point on- as a woman, not as a "female personality person." He wound up divorcing my sister because he wanted to get into politics, which like is totally ass backwards because having a heteronormative family raises your chance of getting elected by a huge margin.

Sorry 🫂

"I don't know? Why don't you be a feminine man? Who knows, you might be missing out!" \- Natalie Wynn

Well to start, I'm not usually in to men.

TRIED THAT FOR TWENTY YEARS >!and learnt how to tie knots!<

Because I'm not into guys. And I hate being a guy. I bassically don't want anything male in my life to be more than a friend or family member.

Because I’m not a gay man, I’m a lesbian, and having AMAB parts caused me 30+ years of self-hatred, depression, and extreme introversion?

I love how people think they have the answers or think they can simplify the complexity of things with statements like 'well, why not just be a feminine male, instead?' I can break down into tears just seeing my body... yep, just putting on a dress will fix that dysphoria... why didn't I think of that?. Oh yeah, I tried that, I felt worse. People assume and make snap judgments on things they don't understand. I am tired of the, 'are you sure you want to transition? You will not be feminine/masculine at all. You will be such a tall/short woman/man.' So on and so forth. People need to stop thinking there is an easy solution or going to the answer that is less inconvenient to them. It is our happiness, and we deserve it. Sorry for the mini rant... the thought of someone saying that to me ticked me off. As my therapist said to me, "It is alright to be greedy, you don't owe anything to those around you and remember you are a person too, you can please yourself too, miss people pleaser."

I don't know, Tina why don't you just be a feminine man?

I did that for 20+ years. It worked great until it didn’t. Once my egg cracked, I just couldn’t do it anymore. For those entire 20+ years I got nothing but facepalms and exasperated sighs from my mother about it. Then I transition and all of the sudden it’s “But what about the androgyny?!?” Would have been nice to have heard some of that support for it while it had been happening…

"why can't you just be a masc lesbian?" my dude i'm a fag

Cause I'm a lesbian.....

Cause I'm not a gay dude

"Why didn't *you* just live your life as a butch lesbian/affeminate gay man/straight person?" My aunt basically thought I was trying to be more like a butch lesbian. She's lesbian herself. The life chose me. I didn't chose my life.

I tried to it didn't feel right because I am not a man

+1 I tried that for 15 years. It was a lie and the energy was off.

Same. Mum is like “you can cut your hair and change your name or even bind but why do you have to change your gender?” She doesn’t get it at all.

Yea johanne

😳 self image cannot be unseen.

Omg when I came out to my mum I got exactly this. She said she assumed I was trans because I thought it would be easier to be a straight girl then a gay guy, i told her it's not easier at all, but she didn't listen lol. Jokes on her though cause now I'm transitioning in secret and I'm also a lesbian so...

🫂

hahahahah, my personality is anything but ultra femme, and I date ladies, gaydies, and theydies. I don't think that would work out so well for me.

Because boobies

Because I'm a tomboy gay woman.

Because I'm a masculine woman!!

Because I feel better living as a woman than a man

Fem man =/= woman, masc woman =/= man (but not in the way trasphobes mean it)

B-because I'm not and never have been? Before I accepted my identity, I was trying my hardest to appear masculine out of denial lmao.

ah yes, men are women, women are men, and life is only about sex...lmfao

Thats like asking why doesn't a rainbow just use one color, or why doesnt natural just use one type of flower or why does snoop dog hang his colors from the back side but never thevcrip side.

The amount of times I've been called an affeminate gay man on vrchat

Yeah somebody told me I sound like a twink

My doctor insisted on this for 10 minutes straight, when I tried to get an appointment for the gender clinic.

Yeah I hope it's your former doctor Good god I'm sorry

Yeah, tryna change atm

"I don't know, Amber. Why don't YOU try being an effeminate man? Who knows, you could be missing out."

My parents are doing that :/

🫂

They think it's a choice

I like being a woman so I am gonna be a woman

Because I’m Ace. Why do you have to sexualize my identity?

no fr "why dont you just stay a butch lesbian" because im gay sharon. i dont wanna be a straight woman, or any kind of woman

Cause the vibes are wack, obviously. The skirt just don't go spinney the same way, know what I'm sayin

It’s an honest question. And one that I am currently pondering. One one hand, I enjoy the assumption of mechanical/physical situational competence that comes with presenting male. I also love being sought out for my confrontational prowess in stressful situations. I understand that is not a male specific trait, but it is a consequence of being raised male. I also do enjoy romancing with masculine chivalry. On the other hand I imagine I would faint if I were romanced likewise. Romantically speaking, I want to go on oestrogen rfn, but professionally speaking, and in life, I am very comfortable with the perks of being a man. I believe that I will live a lonely life regardless of my choice, due to schizophrenia, and delusions that I will not deny. So I am contemplating being a man for non romantic reasons. I crossdress on the regular, and wear primarily women’s clothing. So I am an effeminate male. I am just unsure of if I want to give up fertility, respect of competence, and simply being a man for a feminine figure,(tna!) emotional support or understanding, and simply being a woman. However, if I am lucky enough to find a romantic partner, I don’t want to be held like an effeminate man, I don’t want to be kissed like an effeminate man, And I don’t want to be perused like an effeminate man. I want to be someone’s girlfriend. I just don’t know if I want to be a girl.

Answer: why the fuck are you asking stupid questions