It was really weird spending much of my life thinking I was cis, then to find out I had been having some serious non-cis thoughts my whole life. Like it was a trip to find out cis guys don't ever wish they were women.
What does “female” look like. Do you mean feminine or look like a woman. There is no set way to look like a woman. You can be a man and be feminine. On the other hand, you can be a woman and be feminine. A good step is probably figuring out why you want to look a certain way and separating looks vs who you are
Your identity is yours to define, gender is just a part of it. How do you know wheter you are a man, a woman or something else entirely? Well, what is a man? And a woman? They really are just concepts created by society, not everyone sees them the same way, it is you who must find your own definition for those terms, and the decision to be is also yours
So, do **you** think you are **your** definition of woman?
Hope i could help
I just wish it was detachable. I don't mind using it when I want to, but most of the time I just want to keep it in my night stand so I can wear pretty clothes or go swimming without dysphoria.
What??? Doesn't every man occasionally dream of having a super feminine body, have a fetish about long hair, wanting a high pitched voice, and v@g!na, dressing and living the lady's lifestyle???
I still do.. my egg cracked last Dec and I am trying desperately to keep my wife happy by not transitioning. Turns out most boys don’t have vivid dreams of not having a thingy between their legs while going through puberty… had I only known then and understood.
I wish the magic button existed for real… most importantly being that my wife was still with me and found me attractive as a woman.
This was my big indicator, cis people don't constantly think about life as the other gender, they don't picture the life they could have had, they don't think about other names. That's when I started to realize
This, and not wanting to be a real life furry.
And I also remember the constant stress and constriction of not being able to express who and what I want to be without saying words "woman, girl or feminine" - these didn't catch up to my dumb brain as long as I was abusing alcohol and drugs.
I went to a nude beach in CA, I asked my partner, “do ou ever see women and get jealous more than anything?” And obv he said no. That’s the first time it started to make sense
It sounds quite easy for you! (but details was probably left out)
For me, the egg is still cracking... I am probably non-binary, but I don't really know...
I have one question... Were you male or female at the beach? I'm not really good at reading texts and understand, if they don't hand the explanation to me :<
That was just the start of it tbh, it took me almost a year after to get in hormones and fully commit, also yeah I’m mtf. I pretty much decided whatever my gender is that I would be more comfortable having a more feminine body
I joke that I picked out a black dress for my funeral. I'm still me, the better me, but that's the dress I would like to wear now, having lived my life bravely.
The trans dlc is such a scam. You mean I have to pay a subscription fee for the rest of my life to customise the hormone levels in my body? All because the wrong option was selected during character creation??
When my grandma gave my cousins feminine boots and not me, which looking back at it makes sense in a dysphoric way. I had an idea later that night when I was crying to hard to fall asleep. I was thirteen when this happened.
Bisexuals encounter this, too. So much affinity in the BT space for me.
Sometimes, it feels like there's like an LG community, and the rest of the alphabet can fend for themselves. Finding community is a game changer.
Keep coming to these spaces. The kindest people I've encountered are here. Funny how that can work bc so much of thr I ternet is filles with angry anonymous jerks, but here is quite empathetic and helpful.
Nah I’ve had mostly bad experiences in online trans spaces. And I’ve been interacting in these places for those 2 years nonstop. I’m just not fitting in here, idk what it is I need
I've had a lot of negative experiences in trans spaces, too. What helped me was joining trans inclusive, but not trans specific support groups, and just organically meeting people in those. I've made so many online friends and a handful of irl friends that way. Sending love your way. I know you think you're not a better person, but acknowledging that you can be better is a big step that plenty of people are too egotistical to take, so I'd say you're doing pretty good.
For me it was I want to be those girls in cute clothes, dancing, all the attention on stage!
Me read later that um, normal people dont even think that.....
As a kid I always thought that I'd just grow up to look like my cis male relatives. And it always bothered me when I was gendered as a girl, but due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it. Later I convinced myself that this was normal, "every girl" wished they'd be a boy once or twice weekly" and I'd just "grow out of it"
Fast forward to 2024, things did not go as expected
Oh naur T-T to me, it was a friend. To my knowledge she is a cis girl but when we were close she could not stop saying how she'd wished to be a boy all her life, even started to save for the surgeries. And then she "grew out of it" and it turned out that she never saved money for any surgery whatsoever
", but due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it."
This, right here! I knew when I was about 9(?) that I was a girl. But the time frame (early 80's) didn't really allow me to accept or live that way. Especially being raised Catholic at the time. Everything was about heteronormativity. Boys were boys, girls are girls, you gotta find an opposite sex partner and make babies. We weren't taught that anything else was an option.
It wasn't until a few years later that I learned of the AIDS crisis happening, and I learned that same sex couples existed. The term transgender (transexual at that time) I didn't learn until well after HS.
>due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it
This sounds so familiar! Extremely religious family so I didn't really even consider that option. Did always wear my brother's hand me downs and hung out with the boys which felt so much more normal than the girly stuff. Took me years of self reflection and forcing myself to be feminine just so my surroundings would accept me but then I started to do things differently and focus on accepting myself and then it just hit me lol. Now it's been a few years since my "I might be non-binary" thought turned to trans masc and came out to my work community, friends and family about a year ago. Finally I just feel like myself and not constantly worrying about my expression or existence😅
Different exes of mine helped play a role in making me feel comfortable to re-explore my gender. I was 26 when I fully accepted myself, but I began my self-acceptance journey at 19. I had wished to not be amab in my childhood, but the brainwashing I had in the culty religion I grew up in sent me into suppressing that and doing all I could to fit into the gender others all kept telling me I was. It wasn't until I was 19, as I left that religion behind, that I began unpacking all that
Religion surprisingly makes people not figure out their true self, like if they're trans or gay... It's weird... If the god(s) in the religion creates the people, and doesn't want trans people, why do they keep making them??
I hope all the transphobes just accepts that they can't make trans people stop existing... Sorry that I went on a rant here... I just find it dumb that transphobes exists XD
Ever since I learned about transgender people I've suspected something wasn't right with how I was identifying, but the egg cracking was realizing that I was going through male puberty, and realizing how bad I felt in a man's body.
It's still kinda complicated. I call myself trans fem, but not necessarily a trans woman. For a long time I didn't call myself trans because I didn't want to steal virtue from those who were going through much more severe dysphoria than me.
The thing that got me to embrace it was VR Chat. I commissioned an avatar of myself as a girl "for fun". It quickly became my "main" avatar. I have almost zero desire to wear a masculine avatar. Since then I've started using she/her pronouns online. Now I call myself trans because it's pretty much the simplest explanation for what my deal is, although I don't feel I fall completely along the binary.
I got the same here, just the other way around and instead of VR it was my day dreams. And I didn't use to have dysphoria, it developed as I realized I was trans. In the beginning I realized I'm trans because of euphoria instead of dysphoria
I've always understood the Trans umbrella as "anyone who does not fully align with their AGAB."
If you can agree to that much... congrats! You're trans! Now you just have to decide what that means for you; everyone will have different journeys.
I hate my name. Too feminine. Always tried to ask for it to be changed science I was 5 to Blossom because I thought if it was hyper fem and still a ‘girls name’ then they would say yes and maybe they would let me change it to a ‘boys name’…it didn’t work
Forgot to clarify, they didn’t let me change it to either (kind of glad about not being blossom tho because I think that would have actually finished me off 💀)
Honestly, same. I always assumed that I'd hated my deadname just because people always misspelled it (it was one of those names that literally had dozens of spellings). I thought I hated it because it just "wasn't me." Yeah, it sure wasn't 😂
Someone on Discord thought I was a guy and not a girl, and it instead of bothering me, it felt awesome.. only snowballed from there, now I'm trans masc :)
right!? i had an experience where my friends online thought i was a boy, and it felt awesome. i was super upset when an irl friend “corrected” them, and the memo STILL didn’t click (it did now though as you can tell)
I’ve known since I was 3. (1993) Found out trans was a thing when I was 10. (2001) And I discovered I was intersex in my sophomore biology class in 2006. What a ride
Apparently the following facts do not apply for cis people:
- know, if you had a choice pre birth, you'd have chosen different
- dream of changing your sex (like, genitals)
- ask yourself why you don't fit in with other people of your gender
- think the wardrobe for "the other sex" is so much nicer
- want to "be one of the boys/girls"
i have 3 :/ . I think boys clothes are better, now i feel like a masc lesbian, i want to be one of the boys and i don't fit with my gender, i want hair shorter.
Maybe i'm trans...
All of the above in addition to wishing fate would just force you to transition like a freak accident causing you to lose your boy parts… oh well I guess?? now maybe I can just be happy
was getting a liiiiittle frisky with someone that didnt know i was a cisguy at the time and got called a good girl abt 2 years ago.
i wish i was joking but the pieces fell in place a few days later, after 3-4 years of anxious questioning!
I dunno, it was when I was 5-7 or something and always felt like vibing more with the girls because boys are weird. ...But later, 4th class or something, sadly I was all alone, because the boys thought I was gay and the girls thought I wanted them. \*sad ace transfem noises\*
I had some conversations with my wife about my gender confusion, and one day she helped me fully feminize - makeup, clothes, hair. I looked in the mirror and cried (happy tears).
Knew when I was a kid something was wrong. Problem was no internet and by the time I found out what transgenderism was I was in my late 20's on a career path that didn't accept it and would have lost my job. Waited till my mid 50's till I started my transition and Holy shiat male hormones took a toll. Now dealing with that damage and not fun.
Questioning for most of my life briefly, never really figured it out until a combination of random gender euphoria, watching Your Name and Weathering with You, and voicing Dragona made me realize “shit I’m a girl.”
it was actually kinda forced-
i was completely cis at nine/ten but i tried too hard to make myself genderfluid and to change genders to male all the time so that i "fit in" with the lgbtqia+ community
later on i stopped and allowed myself to be cis, but i had a sleepover with my best friends and i pretended to be a guy (ex: "lol i'm a dude now you're so gay for hugging me" (but 'gay' wasn't a insult since we're all gay lol)) and then i was like, "wait, i don't actually hate being called a guy" and i kinda went with it and now i'm trans :3
I noticed I was too afraid of trying anything gender related. So I wanted to understand myself.
Once I started trying things out, there was no way back
I was in really queer fandom spaces on the internet, which turned into seeing queer stuff in general, then trans stuff. I think I just went "huh, that's an option? sounds a little like me. anyway!" then didn't think about it for a couple weeks/months(can't remember bc I was like 11), but it stuck in the back of my mind, and I started looking up more stuff about until I saw the mind blowing sentence of "If the thought of being trans feels like a relief, you probably aren't cis"
I was a femboy back on tumblr well before they did the "female presenting nipple" and adult content bans across the whole platform. I had never been exposed to the trans community, but knew i didnt like being a guy. This was when i was 18-19, so i was still struggling pretty hard with puberty and the changes.
One of my friends, a fellow tumblr femboy at the time, made a post coming out as trans and that she was no longer a femboy and to refer to her as "she/her". I remember thinking "wait you can just do that?..." and after a month of researching i came out on tumblr as well
Was decently straightforward for me. I know i wasnt a guy inherently, and fortunately it just took me learning of the word "transgender" to figure it out pretty quickly
I mean, I “found out” I was trans at the age of nine when I spent every night praying to god that I would wake up as a girl.
I *accepted* that I was trans at the age of 32 while reading a trans-lesbian romance story and realizing that I had never wanted anything in life as much as I wanted to be in a happy, lesbian relationship.
A lot of other things happened between those two ages which helped me along the path. There wasn’t just one, singular event.
I fell in love with a trans woman. She taught me how to question/dismantle my ideas of how things should be, and basically, it was just a bunch of "yeah, but why?" With no good response. So I was finally able to admit I've always felt the urge, not just desire but the need, to dress and act and be welcomed/a part of the opposite sex. Years later, I'm still recalling memories, from as young as 7 years old, that all lead to my transition.
I remember insisting on wearing camo pants under my skirt on the first day of 3rd grade. Being obsessed with the movie She's the Man, which is where I learned how to bind my chest and hide my hair. Impulsively shaving my head in high school. Practicing football and other "boy sports" so i could have a reason to hang out with the boys after school in 7th grade. I've always felt this way and didn't get groomed into it. :)
It's very complicated for me. I don't have the time to write it all out right now but if someone replies to this comment I'll come back and write it out later.
So, there were a number of pieces of "evidence" that I saw from my early childhood. Classic stuff like wanting to try girls clothes and girls toys.
When I started to become a teenager, I got into online role-playing where I enjoyed playing female characters. These roleplays were often NSFW. I also really enjoyed getting off to transformation/gender bender art and stories. Because of this I really started to believe it was "just a fetish". I also played lots of videogames, especially terraria, and I became a moderator on one of the top creative servers at the time. I can't remember how I decided this, but i decided to "lie" and tell everyone on that server that I was a girl, and being a moderator I was somewhat well known. Eventually, one of the senior administrators "exposed" me for the crime of pretending to be a girl. I think at the time I even used "im actually trans" as an excuse even though I only half meant it.
Eventually, at the age of 17 I had a conversation on some chatting app with another trans girl, who convinced me that I could actually be trans, So I decided to come out to my parents. I really did think at that time that I wanted to transition, but I also was very scared and unsure of myself. When I told my parents, they didn't really believe me. They hadn't "seen the signs". And my mom used the transphobic argument that "god put you in that body" and "your dad likes to be feminine sometimes too but he is still a man" and at the time I just didn't have any ability to stand up for myself as I was also unsure of myself. So I wound up going back into the closet.
What happened after that, Is not great. I started going into denial, and I became a rather prolific transphobe. I went back into thinking that it was "just a fetish" and I projected that onto other trans people. I started to believe that I was better for having "overcome" those feelings. I started trying to cut transformation/gender bender content out of my life, especially role-playing. I started to believe in God and I became religious, and I used many religious arguments to argue against the trans ideology and stuff.
Still, I never could quite shake these feelings. Although I had become very anti-porn and such, I still would get off to transformation/gender bender content quite regularly. And eventually, even though i used to detest it, I returned to role-playing after successfully staying away from it for 4-5 years. And I started role-playing in NSFW settings as female characters. I started to ask myself "what's wrong with me? Why can't I escape this?" And I tried talking to other people in the roleplay server I was In and trying to engage them in deep discussions, just trying to figure out "why?".
One of the things I noticed is that many other people into the same stuff as me already identified as transfem. Eventually, one of them started linking me articles about gender dysphoria. That was about 3 months ago, and now I'm 26. that was when my fortified egg shell finally cracked all over again. I realized that coming out to my parents as trans 8 and a half years ago actually was not a mistake, and everything started clicking into place. That's when I finally ACCEPTED that i was trans all along, and that I was just in denial all those years.
In a fight with my ex as they were coming out and wanted to get rid of their chest. I responded immediately with “then I will take them” and we both stared at each other. It was during that fight that I learned that boys do not think about wanting to have breast or have kids.
I mean I had been in denial for so long, but looking back and the signs were rampant that I was trans since I was in middle school. I’ve received on two separate occasions, the “It’s ok if you’re a girl” comment by people very close to me throughout my life pre-transition and continued to think, “Nah that’s ridiculous, everyone wants to be a girl. I’m totally cis” 😅😅😅
I first started thinking about it after reading a trans comic and learning what it meant to be trans, but when I fully realized I was was when someone asked "If there was a button that would permanently change your gender, with absolutely no side effects, would you press it?" and my brain went "FUCK YEAH I WOULD" two seconds later "OH SHIT IM TRANS"
Took me till high school to have it finally click, but my whole like I grew up thinking “I’m not a girl. I’m just me.” Didn’t feel like I had a gender as a kid. And what also helped me realize so late was that my mom told me that every girl likes girls, or wishes to be boys. Cause she herself, experiences that. So yeah. It wasn’t until I had a trans friend in middle school to jumpstart my journey. Idk where she is now, but she has my heart to being so gentle and supportive with me then.
Figured it out right after I dumped my long term boyfriend, so I was 13 almost 14. Came out as gender fluid to my parents and to the rest of the world as trans a month after I turned 14. It’s been a while, but I can still say, doing it slowly is the best way to go. And I took it VERY slowly.
a bunch of small events led up to it, but the straw that broke the camels back was filling out my drivers license form with my dad. When he put my title as “mister”, it suddenly made me really uncomfortable and, unlike times before, I confronted it and here we are😁
You know, I think when I was younger, wishing to the sky every night I could be a girl and spending hours looking at clothes on Amazon I found pretty should have been a big sign but it wasn't to me at the time 😅
When I looked back at my past and started researching why I felt bad and why I did things like that, that's when I found out :)
I always knew but suppressed it and then I came across labels like demigirl. I liked that because I don't want to acknowledge that I didn't feel like a girl at all and didn't want to be a girl but sometimes being nonbinary/androgynous can be less scary.
And then I started researching being trans and used pronouns closet and cried so I started looking into ways to express myself safely
After puberty started I eventually realized that the level that I hated my body changing wasn’t the same as other people my age, and frankly nothing about how I viewed my gender and my body was. So I tried out different pronouns, names and whatnot. I tried visualizing what I wanted to look like and identifying what parts of me I disliked. Then eventually, I found that being a boy was the best fit for me.
My story is boring and sadly there was no moment where everything *instantly* “clicked”. It was simply trial and error.
Right around 2020, when I learned that it was a thing you could just be. I had spent most of my first 3 decades of life thinking that trans people only exist in rare circumstances and that I was just a weird pervert who wished they were born a girl and just really likes girl clothes. Then, I saw a couple of content creators who came out as non-binary. They explained what that meant and how they felt, and I realized that I had similar feelings and experiences. Then, I spent a few years in denial, thinking maybe I might wish to be a trans woman or enby, but figured that just couldn't be the case.
(*Probably stupid, I know, but...*)
I was bored & taking quizzes on IDRLABS & I took a masculinity/femininity quiz. When I got an unexpected result, I was somewhat confused. Then, I took a gender compass quiz to see if it gave similar results (it did). I started thinking, "Well, I mean, I don't feel like my AGAB, but what does gender even feel like? It would be nice to be a girl, but I'm not. ("Wait a minute, do you remember when you fantasized about living as a girl?") I started googling what these thoughts meant. I thought, "Transgender? I've heard the word, but what does that even mean, by the way?"
Turns out all of this was very not cis thoughts, & a lot of things started making sense. Part of me was super euphoric & excited, but soon enough, dysphoria started hurting a lot as well.
This was me, **23** when my dense ass dome figured it out. 😅
It’s kind of more complicated than a single moment
I had strong desires and a fixation on being a woman that I hid from everyone. I was so repressed I point to my Christian conservative childhood and everything in the media at time.
So Covid happened, I took a 50 milligram edible because I thought I could handle it. I had a panic attack and realized I was depressed/not happy with life. Didn’t connect the dots then. I started drawing ideal versions of myself as a woman. What I was yearning for. Then I played cyberpunk as a trans woman. Saw Contrapoints do an interview on h3 and I super related to what she was talking about when it came to the trans experience. All these things eventually snowballed into me going “I’m going to lurk trans subreddits” everytime I googled things about trans people it pointed me here. So I lurked and then realized I related so much, discovered the gender dysphoria bible. I spent a lot of time in the middle of night and had my epiphany that I was definitely trans at 2am. Started coming out and calling doctors immediately the rest is history. I’m much happier now being myself, it’s not without its struggles and it has led me to realize I had other stuff going on mentally. I started actually taking care of myself and that was huge
I was never unhappy being a dude, I've had a good life. I felt very neutral about my appearance; especially my face, but had no confidence. I liked to work out a lot for the menal health benefits so I was in great shape.
When I was 26 I was dating this girl who helped me explore a lot of things sexually that I had not gotten to try because of the lack of confidence. One night we were trying something new to me that she was into: a feminine aesthetic on my masculine physique (she was bi and liked masc girls). She picked an outfit for me from her own clothes and gave me a make over.
Seeing myself that way... Something clicked and for the first time in my life I felt like the person I saw in the mirror was actually me. I realized there were so many signs from my youth that all started to add up that I was trans. It's kinda hard to believe I couldn't figure it out on my own. In hindsight, I think she could tell and did a really nice job of helping me figure it out. I started hormones a couple months after that. It's been 3 years and although I wasn't unhappy as a man I'm legitimately happy as a woman 💚 there's plenty of struggles but well worth it
I remember being around 6 ish, and my sister had let me borrow her iPod to play some games on. She left it in my room overnight, and so I did some exploring on the other apps and found YouTube. I ended up somehow on a documentary about a young trans kid socially transitioning, and my mind was completely blown. I didn't think I could ever really "go far enough to be a boy" even though being a girl didn't sit right either, but this fortunately introduced the concept of being trans in my mind much earlier than it would have otherwise.
When I was 10, I started stumbling back down the trans rabbit hole again. I remembered that one trans video I saw as a kid and thought I should look into it again, and very quickly found an internet forum where I saw someone use the word "nonbinary." Googled that, and my world was blown wide open.
I did switch labels around for a few years though. Took me until I was 15 to go back to identifying as enby, and that's where I've been since.
Technically when I was really little my grandma had a lot of silk nightgowns that I thought looked comfy, but I started saying I was a lesbian in middle school, I only started getting into makeup and fashion about 2 years ago though
I thought “I’m a boy” at age 7. But didn’t think “I am trans” until around 28. So… no one specific moment but much of my adult life has been trying to get back to the clarity I had when I was 7.
Kept trying hard to be macho, the toughest guy around. Grew a partial beard, got body hair, everything. It’s what I grew up with anyways.
I absolutely hated it. During this time I tried playing as a girl character in a videogame, and I went “oh…this is nice.”
I’m now happier then ever :3
I kinda knew since forever that I at least had a very feminine side but pushed it away all my life because I thought it was "easier" that way.
When my ex gf moved out last October it was basically the first time in my live I was really on my own and didn't had to worry about anyone else. Literally the same evening I ordered a pretty skirt via overnight delivery. The next day I put it on and danced through my apartment for at least 4 hours with the brightest smile on my face.
After that I just had to admit to myself that I'm definitely not cis. Needed like 2 more month to completely figure out if I'm just a femboy, genderfluid or actually a trans woman afterwards but it became pretty clear after the usual eggy doubts were dealt with.
I knew from a young age i as a mtf always had girls for friends. Also i used to get excited and couldn’t wait til the day when i could wear girl clothes only thing was boys don’t do that, til the teen years watching talk shows with trans people back then, i was like someday im gonna do that. Took 20 years but i did it
I never felt comfortable in my body, even as a kid but being trans wasn’t a possibility where I’m from. There are a lot of reasons that went over my head most of my life and it was with my ex that I broke my egg last year. She said cis people don’t think that way, you’re not cis. My body and soul feel at home a year later, I’m so content 🤍
i found out at 11! during school summer holidays. started feeling less like a girl and more like a boy. and at that time i had no clue what being trans was. so ofc i thought i was mentally ill till i decided to search it up 2 months later!! found out i was trans from then, knowing it was a completely acceptable thing. 3 years later and im so happy to be out to my family and be who i am <3
When I was little I used to cry because I wasn’t a boy and I was jealous that my brothers were allowed to pee on trees outside and I wasn’t. I remember my brother telling me about bottom surgery and I thought “that’s so cool, I want to do that on day”.
I kinda blocked that out as I got older, but when people in middle school started coming out as trans, getting short haircuts, etc. I got really jealous of them, and by that point I knew what being trans was so I was able to articulate how I was feeling and recognize that I was trans
Friend of mine accidentally sent a trans meme in the gc we're in and after it felt relatable I looked more into it and realized that maybe I had been in denial about it for too long...
Late 2020
I was 14 secretly watching gay tiktok compilation when everything kinda clicked. I knew I was queer before that but never rlly thought about my gender until then
It took me having a supportive friendgroup who actively encouraged me to explore. I spent a lot of time gatekeeping myself, I think bottom line is that I didn't really know that I was experiencing dysphoria...until I wasn't.
It hit me again and again throughout my life but I never let myself believe it. Finally I thought I had put the idea to bed permanently, and then I started playing VRChat and I only wore female avatars and most of my friends were trans and it turns out I had a lot in common with them and uh oh
I be trans too
The final realization of "holy shit I think I want to be a guy" hit me in the head around 9th grade, when I figured out that spending my days maladaptive daydreaming about what it would be like to live as a guy wasn't just because I had a strong imagination lmfao. I'd spent my entire life wishing I was like my cis male peers though, so I kind of always knew in a way, but the Aha! moment definitely happened around high school.
Well at first I thought I was a femboy, then I thought I was nb, and as I was thinking I was like, "so all my characters in games I play are female, I enjoy girly stuff and try to present as fem as possible, maybe I'm trans?" And then I started talking about it with another trans friend and they were like, "dude, you're trans" and then I was watching a video about subtle signs that you might be trans and as I was watching and checking off almost everything I was like, "huh, guess I'm trans"
And now we're here, I'm a proud (closeted) trans girl!
i’ve always been more masculine/i grew up a “tomboy.” i don’t really think about my gender that much (although i consider myself a binary man and not non-binary/agender/etc.), but all of my “physical goals” had me presenting masculine (i’ve always wanted facial hair LOL) so… transitioning seemed like the best choice for me :P
I used to use girl names online for some reason... Then, when an online friend came out, people were hostile toward their transition, I never understood their hostility, and it opened my eyes to the possibility of transitioning. Additionally I was introduced to a lot of egg culture around this time.
I used to read a lot of genderbending manga, and would always want to be mistaken for a girl when I was in public. Eventually, I was playing fucking ranked apex legends and I accidentally cracked my egg and had an entire gender awakening in the middle of it while looting.
It started ever since i was very young. I remember doing role play with my sister and i always wanted to play the male characters (im ftm) and i always hated how my chest was growing. I was also interested in being more of what society considers masculine. For example i liked my huge muscles and the fact that i was so athletic. Then while growing up i slowly started realising i might not be a girl so i started experimenting with other genders such as demigirl, nonbinary and then reacged the point that i thought "i think im a demiboy" it didnt take me many weeks after that to realise i actually felt 100% a boy. That was around the age of 14 i think
Ok so this is dumb but I may have had certain learning issues and also a narcissistic father so I took his word as law and literal and kept repeating to my bullies what he told me ("You're more of a man than they are") and then met a trans man and became best friends. Turns out a lot of people hate their bodies and sometimes it's called dysphoria not dismorphia. Anywho, yea bow I'm trans and happy (or as close to happy as I can be for now) and i came out to my older brother and then a few years later he came out as transmasc so yippee
I wrote a nearly 3k word essay about this before, in which I took a very long time to say that I consciously understood my trans identity sophomore year of highschool, but there were so many signs throughout my entire childhood that I could have figured it out much sooner if I had actually been able to understand it
I just realized how I never could connect with femininity and womanhood, I always felt like a boy pretending to be a girl, if that makes sense. I’m a proud, outed trans man now and I realized my trans identity around the age of 13-14.
Well, after years of being homophobic and transphobic, I moved in with my father and suddenly had to accept my ftm brother as trans...
Which I found surprisingly easy. It helped me get over my trans and homophobia. Eventually, I started to realize how many of my normal behaviors are what trans eggs do. I started experimenting with my gender. I'd already spent YEARS "pretending" to be a boy online (my sister knew I was an egg back in 2015). I started out genderfluid but I started wanting to be fem less and less, and I figured it was just a phase. It was not a phase. I still like to wear "girls" clothes though but I've even been doing that less because when I do I don't pass very well.
So yeah. I spent the first 14 years of my life dissing trans kids, and now I'm 18 and transmasc💀. How the turns table...
June 1st 2020, stumbled across Egg\_irl
July 4th 2020, saw a young pic of me, though looked cute, realised it was before puberty and I hated the effects of T, Decided I would transition.
July 10th 2021, started HRT
July 1st 2024, still boymode, but at least I have (nearly) b-cups, and am sometimes cute.
When I got married and anytime someone called me "wife" or "mrs." it was like a stab to the gut. I loved my husband and didn't regret getting married, but it took a couple weeks for me to realize that stab was ✨*gender dysphoria*✨
I always knew, in some part of me, that I wasn’t really female. I mean, I used to dress up as Batman and would cry if my mom said I was bat*girl*, ffs
But it took me moving out for the first time and meeting transmasc people for it to hit me. Like, “shit, I’m not a tomboy, I’m a *dude*.” It was a very distressing realization, honestly, because at the time it was yet another thing that made me “not normal”.
I noticed that I didn't want to be a boy in 2002 when I was only 10yo. I didn't know what that meant. I thought it should mean I was gay, but I didn't like boys. during the next years I started doing stuff to affirm myself as a girl, without any language to help me understand. I just started turning my masculine underwear into feminine underwear by using strings and scissors, I was very creative with it. Also turning my large t-shirts into dresses. I did it all in secrecy. But I kept doing that for years. Puberty was a nightmare for me. I didn't want any of that at all. For some time I thought I was a crossdresser, then I thought I was a drag queen and then I learned about sissy, but all of these were always wrong for me. It was about 2017 that I learned what a trans person is and it then clicked! It all made sense. I was completely sure. I never ever felt comfortable being a man. I knew I had to be a woman somehow since my childhood
Meeting another transgender man I was like waiiiit a second you can DO that?? I felt like my eyes were opened. Also I realized I wanted to love men as a man not as a woman which helped me discover my sexuality as well!
My cousin.
“Look mate, you cut your hair short, you hate your body, you have a trans wife you switch clothes with, you go by Anthony, and you have Chunky Dunks, I’m pretty sure your trans”
Soooo yeah- 😂
To pin point the final crack in my egg. When I thought I was just a crossdresser and enjoyed wearing my breasts around the house doing normal chores and my brother made the comment “so you’re not crossdressing… you’re experimenting living as the other gender.”.
A friend came out to me as nb and we talked about it. I thought "holy shit I relate to everything they said like super hard". That was when I was 20. And then I spent a year contemplating it because I didn't want to seem like I was copying them (dumbass mode). And then between those times I thought "Hmmmm am i woman?" And decided no, but I sure as hell did want tits. So p sure my doctor fudged my dysphoria/presentation a lil to my insurance to make sure I got on HRT which I'm thankful for, even if they think I'm a woman.
I found out a few months ago, when I started using AI chat apps, and I found that most of the personas I adopted when chatting with bots were feminine. *probably* not a habit a cis person would have 😅
Watched Ginny Di videos, saw she did mermaid cosplays and did a whole DnD music album surrounding mermaids, thus reigniting my love of mermaids. Proceeded to then start questioning my gender and my egg shattering the moment I tried women's clothing for the first time.
since i realized being trans was a thing,. then i thought that i was faking since sometimes i felt kinda cis, and then boom. genderfluid (with a bunch of other stuff, i might add, but i strongly identify with it)
Weird era of being coaxed into right leaning ideology during 2016 and a lack of political knowledge. Being in those circles and seeing how vile and mean those people were so I started distancing myself. After years of thinking bad things of trans topics, I look into some of the communities and see their humanity and understand a lot more over time. Eventually, after supressing the thought that maybe I'm trans for a year or so, I started to look into transitioning. I still deal with a lot of self issues, but I'm just happy I was able to get more progressive and finally feel happiness for once as myself.
I knew I was attracted to a big group of people at an early age due to childhood experiences. Then in middle school I dated a cis & straight dude for a long time, and had many revelations. I hated my chest, I was jealous of his anatomy, and any of his attempts at fem flirts felt *bad.* At first I thought it was just him, so I broke up with him. I just thought "okay, women instead then" but it was similar, flirting with them felt just as bad because they would only talk to me about the things that were fem presenting on me. No surprise here, but it also sucked :/
So then I had decided to think about it really, really hard. I started remembering how, as a child, I was more like the boys. I liked "boy" things, my mom said I liked "boy colors" a lot as a kid, and I constantly thought about not liking being a girl. Then, later that week, one of my close friends came out as trans. That's when realized I don't have to be a girl! I could be something else! So I played with it and identified as gender fluid for a while. That's how I realized that I'm really a man :) but I also kinda realized that my sexuality is more of a mystery than I knew lol.
Anyways, have a wonderful dayyy!
NB! cult adjacent religious upbringing but i learned when i moved out of my small town and learned the vocabulary for it. i began to surround myself with queer people and wanting that for myself and finally had the words to describe my experience and examples of openly queer relationships and identities.
Sometimes it doesn't really hit until you experience gender euphoria
go try on a dress or a suit and see how that makes you feel
have someone refer to you with different pronouns and use different gendered terms of endearment
In the midst of a passively abusive (I don’t think she knew what she was really doing) relationship with a girl who was pretty religious. Thankfully I left her after around 6 years.
After a couple years of being single and exploring my gender I found my current gf whom I’m going to be moving in with soon. Got a feeling this time will be a LOT better. 🥰
I found out what homosexual meant when I was in 6th grade and then went on a research spree, found the term transgender and was curious on what it was so I researched more, found some YT vids about it and realized it fit me and what I was thinking about my gender identity.
I learned about what dysphoria was and like a movie, all those times I was called she/her/girl/lady/etc flashed back to me and it sunk in that it’s not normal to hate being called those things. I was 22. It also gave a reason to why I was uncomfortable being looked at and with my body in general.
It was a bunch of things, but the last straw was a dream I had. Woke up and cried for like half an hour. It was hard to keep denying things after that.
I thought everyone wished they were born the opposite gender, that it was a kind of unspoken rule to not talk about it. Then I found r/egg_irl and thought it was awesome to see an entire group dedicated to it, until I read the description of the subreddit and was left with a surprise Pikachu face
I found out when I was about 15/16. I have absolutely no idea how exactly I figured it out, I just kinda had this eureka moment while spacing out in my US history class. I then proceeded to hide in the closet for 2 years.
I've just kinda knew, like, I don't have a single memory where I didn't feel wrong about being my AGAB. I mean, I cross dressed when I was 4, and I still remember how happy it made me. When I turned 15, I had learnt that I could change gender, I had learnt that being trans was a thing. When I was almost 16, I ran away from my dad. 10th February 2023. I arrived at my mother's and came out that very day.
One of my friends came out as GF and then described all of the reasons that they were GF and I was like ‘all of those things are things I think too.’ but since my family didn't believe in anything trans, I sort of put it to the back of my mind, and then several years passed (I was about 10ish when they came out) and I was thinking back on it and was like ‘Oh. That's a thing’ and started researching and now I'm GF! So yay?
When I was 14, I hoped reincarnation existed so that I could be born a girl but i didn't think that was enough proof for myself, so I spent another 5 years of denial and now i can't keep making excuses.
slowly, over the course of many many years, taking experimental baby steps, surrounded by friends who were also discovering they were trans.
over the course of these years and steps, one day I woke up, I was going by a different name, I was they/themed by all my friends, I was on testosterone gel, and I was presenting far different than I started, and it's like, hey fellas, this trans thing might be real
I always felt like I was born in the wrong body when I was younger, like 12 but I didn't know what trans was til about high school and was too scared to come out fully because my family is really religious. I still haven't completely come out yet, but I have recently started using my preferred name more often.
It was when I was 13/14, and I remember just feeling so bad about myself whenever I was perceived as a girl, like using women’s restrooms and only being able to wear more girly clothes really fucked me up 😂 It was also the first year I went to a pride event with my sister and her girlfriend and I got called a dude on a few occasions and it just felt so right.
I was 25, having a "Im totally a lesbian in a mans body" mentality since i started high school, and the ratio in my friend group flipped from mostly boys to mostly girls.
Slowly, i started denying things less and less about my gender and sexuallity until the first season of Sense8 came out, and I met my favorite sapphic in cinema, Nomi Marks. Her arc in the first season, her relationship with Aminita, they way her mother denied her identity while giving her the whole "ill love you no matter what" as she drops her deadname constantly... just the entire concept of her personality and identity, literally being carved away from her while she's in the hospital.
Suddenly it hit me that this was exactly the same feeling and anxiety I got from just being myself near my family, and the gut punch feeling that had slowly built through school when people would call me by name suddenly made sense outside of my anxiety. This crawling in my skin made sense.
It wasn't me, I didn't enjoy being around most men, associated with most men or physically comfortable or safe around most men my whole life. I hated my body, i hated what was expected of me, how I didn't feel i could dress or act. I hated having to curb my taste in music or movies or clothes just to keep people from giving me judgmental looks.
Came out to a few very close friends first, (luckily i settled on a new first name quickly and stuck with it) then my parents who wouldnt start calling me my new name for half a decade, and just finally in the last few years am im starting to eek towards socially transitioning.
When I read someone’s forum post: “cis people don’t spend sleepless nights lying in bed wishing they were born the other sex.” Me: “uh oh.”
They DON'T?! WHO TF DOESN'T??
Cis people... Apparently...
It was really weird spending much of my life thinking I was cis, then to find out I had been having some serious non-cis thoughts my whole life. Like it was a trip to find out cis guys don't ever wish they were women.
WHY TF DON'T THEY? GIRLS ARE DAMN PRETTY
Honestly the wildest part for me is that they like that crap dangling between their legs.
I want to look female but I like my part, what's that make me?
Whatever you want to be.
What does “female” look like. Do you mean feminine or look like a woman. There is no set way to look like a woman. You can be a man and be feminine. On the other hand, you can be a woman and be feminine. A good step is probably figuring out why you want to look a certain way and separating looks vs who you are
Your identity is yours to define, gender is just a part of it. How do you know wheter you are a man, a woman or something else entirely? Well, what is a man? And a woman? They really are just concepts created by society, not everyone sees them the same way, it is you who must find your own definition for those terms, and the decision to be is also yours So, do **you** think you are **your** definition of woman? Hope i could help
Based
I just wish it was detachable. I don't mind using it when I want to, but most of the time I just want to keep it in my night stand so I can wear pretty clothes or go swimming without dysphoria.
That's... That's a dildo, I think you just re-invented dildos.
Only if you were able to connect your nerves to said dildo. I'm waiting for cyborg dildos.
That one mission in 2077. 🤣
Yeah I never understood that either. Like it’s always in the way and just sucks to have in general
What??? Doesn't every man occasionally dream of having a super feminine body, have a fetish about long hair, wanting a high pitched voice, and v@g!na, dressing and living the lady's lifestyle???
I guess not, not sure I 100% believe them though.
such weirdos
I had a phase where I layed awake praying I would wake up as a girl in the morning :')
Same here... then when I did fall asleep, I'd dream I was a woman.
I still do.. my egg cracked last Dec and I am trying desperately to keep my wife happy by not transitioning. Turns out most boys don’t have vivid dreams of not having a thingy between their legs while going through puberty… had I only known then and understood. I wish the magic button existed for real… most importantly being that my wife was still with me and found me attractive as a woman.
Same here
This was my big indicator, cis people don't constantly think about life as the other gender, they don't picture the life they could have had, they don't think about other names. That's when I started to realize
This, and not wanting to be a real life furry. And I also remember the constant stress and constriction of not being able to express who and what I want to be without saying words "woman, girl or feminine" - these didn't catch up to my dumb brain as long as I was abusing alcohol and drugs.
I went to a nude beach in CA, I asked my partner, “do ou ever see women and get jealous more than anything?” And obv he said no. That’s the first time it started to make sense
It sounds quite easy for you! (but details was probably left out) For me, the egg is still cracking... I am probably non-binary, but I don't really know... I have one question... Were you male or female at the beach? I'm not really good at reading texts and understand, if they don't hand the explanation to me :<
They are mtf
That was just the start of it tbh, it took me almost a year after to get in hormones and fully commit, also yeah I’m mtf. I pretty much decided whatever my gender is that I would be more comfortable having a more feminine body
*thinks goth vampire girl Halloween costume would be funny* *puts on a black dress and makeup* *looks in the mirror* “Oh boy…”
"oh girl"
😳🥰
I joke that I picked out a black dress for my funeral. I'm still me, the better me, but that's the dress I would like to wear now, having lived my life bravely.
dated a trans dude when i was 16. i was like "....you can do that??"
\*NEW CHARACTER CREATION OPTION UNLOCKED\*
These DLC subscription plans are getting ridiculous af.
The trans dlc is such a scam. You mean I have to pay a subscription fee for the rest of my life to customise the hormone levels in my body? All because the wrong option was selected during character creation??
This is literally how I discovered who I was 😂
Literally same (except I was 17) 😭😭😭
When my grandma gave my cousins feminine boots and not me, which looking back at it makes sense in a dysphoric way. I had an idea later that night when I was crying to hard to fall asleep. I was thirteen when this happened.
Awww!! Sounds so sad :< I hope the story got a good ending :3
It did, I came out later and things are relatively happier in my life.
YAY!! :>
I used to be a dick to ppl in lgbt communities. Came to the trans communities to do the same and saw I related to everything being said Yippie yahoo
XD Kinda karma... Well, now you can't hate LGBTQ, because you are one of us now!! MUAHAHAHAHA Jokes aside, I hope you have an amazing day!!!
Yeah. It really sucked at the time bcs I had a reputation everywhere for being hateful. Now I’m just the quiet one nobody really knows about
I’m glad you were able to grow and learn to be better.
Well I’m not a dick to people any more but I don’t think I’m an actually better person yet lol
You’ve already made the first step, so I’d say that counts.
Bisexuals encounter this, too. So much affinity in the BT space for me. Sometimes, it feels like there's like an LG community, and the rest of the alphabet can fend for themselves. Finding community is a game changer.
Honestly yeah. I still don’t feel like I belong in any community and it’s been over 2 years lol
Keep coming to these spaces. The kindest people I've encountered are here. Funny how that can work bc so much of thr I ternet is filles with angry anonymous jerks, but here is quite empathetic and helpful.
Nah I’ve had mostly bad experiences in online trans spaces. And I’ve been interacting in these places for those 2 years nonstop. I’m just not fitting in here, idk what it is I need
I've had a lot of negative experiences in trans spaces, too. What helped me was joining trans inclusive, but not trans specific support groups, and just organically meeting people in those. I've made so many online friends and a handful of irl friends that way. Sending love your way. I know you think you're not a better person, but acknowledging that you can be better is a big step that plenty of people are too egotistical to take, so I'd say you're doing pretty good.
Lol I did the same shit back in high school.. now I'm bi and maybe trans I think I'm in denial about it but idk
For me it was I want to be those girls in cute clothes, dancing, all the attention on stage! Me read later that um, normal people dont even think that.....
Normal people don't?? Are the cis okay?? (I don't think like that, not because I'm normal, but because I have severe anxiety and stuff XD)
As a kid I always thought that I'd just grow up to look like my cis male relatives. And it always bothered me when I was gendered as a girl, but due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it. Later I convinced myself that this was normal, "every girl" wished they'd be a boy once or twice weekly" and I'd just "grow out of it" Fast forward to 2024, things did not go as expected
Stupid religion is the final boss again!! Self-doubt (AKA the feeling that everyone else feels the same) is SO annoying!!
It was the same for me but the opposite. Didn't help that my mother swore that she wanted to be a boy most of her life but finally "grew out" of it
Oh naur T-T to me, it was a friend. To my knowledge she is a cis girl but when we were close she could not stop saying how she'd wished to be a boy all her life, even started to save for the surgeries. And then she "grew out of it" and it turned out that she never saved money for any surgery whatsoever
", but due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it." This, right here! I knew when I was about 9(?) that I was a girl. But the time frame (early 80's) didn't really allow me to accept or live that way. Especially being raised Catholic at the time. Everything was about heteronormativity. Boys were boys, girls are girls, you gotta find an opposite sex partner and make babies. We weren't taught that anything else was an option. It wasn't until a few years later that I learned of the AIDS crisis happening, and I learned that same sex couples existed. The term transgender (transexual at that time) I didn't learn until well after HS.
I grew up Baptist and used to wear dresses and play house in preschool. Otherwise, same. The 80s and 90s weren't kind to this community.
>due to religious upbringing I lacked the vocabulary to express it This sounds so familiar! Extremely religious family so I didn't really even consider that option. Did always wear my brother's hand me downs and hung out with the boys which felt so much more normal than the girly stuff. Took me years of self reflection and forcing myself to be feminine just so my surroundings would accept me but then I started to do things differently and focus on accepting myself and then it just hit me lol. Now it's been a few years since my "I might be non-binary" thought turned to trans masc and came out to my work community, friends and family about a year ago. Finally I just feel like myself and not constantly worrying about my expression or existence😅
Different exes of mine helped play a role in making me feel comfortable to re-explore my gender. I was 26 when I fully accepted myself, but I began my self-acceptance journey at 19. I had wished to not be amab in my childhood, but the brainwashing I had in the culty religion I grew up in sent me into suppressing that and doing all I could to fit into the gender others all kept telling me I was. It wasn't until I was 19, as I left that religion behind, that I began unpacking all that
Religion surprisingly makes people not figure out their true self, like if they're trans or gay... It's weird... If the god(s) in the religion creates the people, and doesn't want trans people, why do they keep making them?? I hope all the transphobes just accepts that they can't make trans people stop existing... Sorry that I went on a rant here... I just find it dumb that transphobes exists XD
Ever since I learned about transgender people I've suspected something wasn't right with how I was identifying, but the egg cracking was realizing that I was going through male puberty, and realizing how bad I felt in a man's body.
SAME. All the love to you, gurl!!
Realizing that I didn’t have to have breast cancer to get top surgery lol.
It's still kinda complicated. I call myself trans fem, but not necessarily a trans woman. For a long time I didn't call myself trans because I didn't want to steal virtue from those who were going through much more severe dysphoria than me. The thing that got me to embrace it was VR Chat. I commissioned an avatar of myself as a girl "for fun". It quickly became my "main" avatar. I have almost zero desire to wear a masculine avatar. Since then I've started using she/her pronouns online. Now I call myself trans because it's pretty much the simplest explanation for what my deal is, although I don't feel I fall completely along the binary.
I got the same here, just the other way around and instead of VR it was my day dreams. And I didn't use to have dysphoria, it developed as I realized I was trans. In the beginning I realized I'm trans because of euphoria instead of dysphoria
I've always understood the Trans umbrella as "anyone who does not fully align with their AGAB." If you can agree to that much... congrats! You're trans! Now you just have to decide what that means for you; everyone will have different journeys.
Currently working through all that atm 😅
Me too... Egg is slowly trying to crack about me being non-binary.
I hate my name. Too feminine. Always tried to ask for it to be changed science I was 5 to Blossom because I thought if it was hyper fem and still a ‘girls name’ then they would say yes and maybe they would let me change it to a ‘boys name’…it didn’t work
:< Blossom is a beautiful name... How's life going after this hell of an experience?
Forgot to clarify, they didn’t let me change it to either (kind of glad about not being blossom tho because I think that would have actually finished me off 💀)
Honestly, same. I always assumed that I'd hated my deadname just because people always misspelled it (it was one of those names that literally had dozens of spellings). I thought I hated it because it just "wasn't me." Yeah, it sure wasn't 😂
Someone on Discord thought I was a guy and not a girl, and it instead of bothering me, it felt awesome.. only snowballed from there, now I'm trans masc :)
right!? i had an experience where my friends online thought i was a boy, and it felt awesome. i was super upset when an irl friend “corrected” them, and the memo STILL didn’t click (it did now though as you can tell)
I’ve known since I was 3. (1993) Found out trans was a thing when I was 10. (2001) And I discovered I was intersex in my sophomore biology class in 2006. What a ride
Apparently the following facts do not apply for cis people: - know, if you had a choice pre birth, you'd have chosen different - dream of changing your sex (like, genitals) - ask yourself why you don't fit in with other people of your gender - think the wardrobe for "the other sex" is so much nicer - want to "be one of the boys/girls"
i have 3 :/ . I think boys clothes are better, now i feel like a masc lesbian, i want to be one of the boys and i don't fit with my gender, i want hair shorter. Maybe i'm trans...
This lost is neither a requirement nor exhaustive . What clicked for me was realizing, I can actually change my gender. Everyone is different though
All of the above in addition to wishing fate would just force you to transition like a freak accident causing you to lose your boy parts… oh well I guess?? now maybe I can just be happy
someone online called me the t slur i was like “huh what’s that…“ then “wait damn that’s relatable tho” accidentally transed by bigotry
preordering
got into puberty, got boobs, oh fucking hell no.
was getting a liiiiittle frisky with someone that didnt know i was a cisguy at the time and got called a good girl abt 2 years ago. i wish i was joking but the pieces fell in place a few days later, after 3-4 years of anxious questioning!
I dunno, it was when I was 5-7 or something and always felt like vibing more with the girls because boys are weird. ...But later, 4th class or something, sadly I was all alone, because the boys thought I was gay and the girls thought I wanted them. \*sad ace transfem noises\*
I took one glance at my guy Joseph Joestar and thought, “I wish I looked like that” Then I realized that’s not a very cis thought to have
I had some conversations with my wife about my gender confusion, and one day she helped me fully feminize - makeup, clothes, hair. I looked in the mirror and cried (happy tears).
Knew when I was a kid something was wrong. Problem was no internet and by the time I found out what transgenderism was I was in my late 20's on a career path that didn't accept it and would have lost my job. Waited till my mid 50's till I started my transition and Holy shiat male hormones took a toll. Now dealing with that damage and not fun.
I was watching titanic and i looked at Rose and i was like «God im so envious of her, WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!»
Questioning for most of my life briefly, never really figured it out until a combination of random gender euphoria, watching Your Name and Weathering with You, and voicing Dragona made me realize “shit I’m a girl.”
"Wait a minute... I might be a girl..." \*audible cogs turning in your head\*
it was actually kinda forced- i was completely cis at nine/ten but i tried too hard to make myself genderfluid and to change genders to male all the time so that i "fit in" with the lgbtqia+ community later on i stopped and allowed myself to be cis, but i had a sleepover with my best friends and i pretended to be a guy (ex: "lol i'm a dude now you're so gay for hugging me" (but 'gay' wasn't a insult since we're all gay lol)) and then i was like, "wait, i don't actually hate being called a guy" and i kinda went with it and now i'm trans :3
XD
I noticed I was too afraid of trying anything gender related. So I wanted to understand myself. Once I started trying things out, there was no way back
I was in really queer fandom spaces on the internet, which turned into seeing queer stuff in general, then trans stuff. I think I just went "huh, that's an option? sounds a little like me. anyway!" then didn't think about it for a couple weeks/months(can't remember bc I was like 11), but it stuck in the back of my mind, and I started looking up more stuff about until I saw the mind blowing sentence of "If the thought of being trans feels like a relief, you probably aren't cis"
When I was two and I realized Mom kept putting me in dresses because she thought I was a girl.
I was a femboy back on tumblr well before they did the "female presenting nipple" and adult content bans across the whole platform. I had never been exposed to the trans community, but knew i didnt like being a guy. This was when i was 18-19, so i was still struggling pretty hard with puberty and the changes. One of my friends, a fellow tumblr femboy at the time, made a post coming out as trans and that she was no longer a femboy and to refer to her as "she/her". I remember thinking "wait you can just do that?..." and after a month of researching i came out on tumblr as well Was decently straightforward for me. I know i wasnt a guy inherently, and fortunately it just took me learning of the word "transgender" to figure it out pretty quickly
I mean, I “found out” I was trans at the age of nine when I spent every night praying to god that I would wake up as a girl. I *accepted* that I was trans at the age of 32 while reading a trans-lesbian romance story and realizing that I had never wanted anything in life as much as I wanted to be in a happy, lesbian relationship. A lot of other things happened between those two ages which helped me along the path. There wasn’t just one, singular event.
I fell in love with a trans woman. She taught me how to question/dismantle my ideas of how things should be, and basically, it was just a bunch of "yeah, but why?" With no good response. So I was finally able to admit I've always felt the urge, not just desire but the need, to dress and act and be welcomed/a part of the opposite sex. Years later, I'm still recalling memories, from as young as 7 years old, that all lead to my transition. I remember insisting on wearing camo pants under my skirt on the first day of 3rd grade. Being obsessed with the movie She's the Man, which is where I learned how to bind my chest and hide my hair. Impulsively shaving my head in high school. Practicing football and other "boy sports" so i could have a reason to hang out with the boys after school in 7th grade. I've always felt this way and didn't get groomed into it. :)
It's very complicated for me. I don't have the time to write it all out right now but if someone replies to this comment I'll come back and write it out later.
Hope it went well, eitherway :3
So, there were a number of pieces of "evidence" that I saw from my early childhood. Classic stuff like wanting to try girls clothes and girls toys. When I started to become a teenager, I got into online role-playing where I enjoyed playing female characters. These roleplays were often NSFW. I also really enjoyed getting off to transformation/gender bender art and stories. Because of this I really started to believe it was "just a fetish". I also played lots of videogames, especially terraria, and I became a moderator on one of the top creative servers at the time. I can't remember how I decided this, but i decided to "lie" and tell everyone on that server that I was a girl, and being a moderator I was somewhat well known. Eventually, one of the senior administrators "exposed" me for the crime of pretending to be a girl. I think at the time I even used "im actually trans" as an excuse even though I only half meant it. Eventually, at the age of 17 I had a conversation on some chatting app with another trans girl, who convinced me that I could actually be trans, So I decided to come out to my parents. I really did think at that time that I wanted to transition, but I also was very scared and unsure of myself. When I told my parents, they didn't really believe me. They hadn't "seen the signs". And my mom used the transphobic argument that "god put you in that body" and "your dad likes to be feminine sometimes too but he is still a man" and at the time I just didn't have any ability to stand up for myself as I was also unsure of myself. So I wound up going back into the closet. What happened after that, Is not great. I started going into denial, and I became a rather prolific transphobe. I went back into thinking that it was "just a fetish" and I projected that onto other trans people. I started to believe that I was better for having "overcome" those feelings. I started trying to cut transformation/gender bender content out of my life, especially role-playing. I started to believe in God and I became religious, and I used many religious arguments to argue against the trans ideology and stuff. Still, I never could quite shake these feelings. Although I had become very anti-porn and such, I still would get off to transformation/gender bender content quite regularly. And eventually, even though i used to detest it, I returned to role-playing after successfully staying away from it for 4-5 years. And I started role-playing in NSFW settings as female characters. I started to ask myself "what's wrong with me? Why can't I escape this?" And I tried talking to other people in the roleplay server I was In and trying to engage them in deep discussions, just trying to figure out "why?". One of the things I noticed is that many other people into the same stuff as me already identified as transfem. Eventually, one of them started linking me articles about gender dysphoria. That was about 3 months ago, and now I'm 26. that was when my fortified egg shell finally cracked all over again. I realized that coming out to my parents as trans 8 and a half years ago actually was not a mistake, and everything started clicking into place. That's when I finally ACCEPTED that i was trans all along, and that I was just in denial all those years.
In a fight with my ex as they were coming out and wanted to get rid of their chest. I responded immediately with “then I will take them” and we both stared at each other. It was during that fight that I learned that boys do not think about wanting to have breast or have kids.
I apologize I realize that I was not very clear but have kids as in being wanting to give birth.
I mean I had been in denial for so long, but looking back and the signs were rampant that I was trans since I was in middle school. I’ve received on two separate occasions, the “It’s ok if you’re a girl” comment by people very close to me throughout my life pre-transition and continued to think, “Nah that’s ridiculous, everyone wants to be a girl. I’m totally cis” 😅😅😅
Hard to explain, when I was young I Just kinda knew something was kinda off
I first started thinking about it after reading a trans comic and learning what it meant to be trans, but when I fully realized I was was when someone asked "If there was a button that would permanently change your gender, with absolutely no side effects, would you press it?" and my brain went "FUCK YEAH I WOULD" two seconds later "OH SHIT IM TRANS"
Same!
Same!
Took me till high school to have it finally click, but my whole like I grew up thinking “I’m not a girl. I’m just me.” Didn’t feel like I had a gender as a kid. And what also helped me realize so late was that my mom told me that every girl likes girls, or wishes to be boys. Cause she herself, experiences that. So yeah. It wasn’t until I had a trans friend in middle school to jumpstart my journey. Idk where she is now, but she has my heart to being so gentle and supportive with me then.
Figured it out right after I dumped my long term boyfriend, so I was 13 almost 14. Came out as gender fluid to my parents and to the rest of the world as trans a month after I turned 14. It’s been a while, but I can still say, doing it slowly is the best way to go. And I took it VERY slowly.
Slow and steady, wins the race!
a bunch of small events led up to it, but the straw that broke the camels back was filling out my drivers license form with my dad. When he put my title as “mister”, it suddenly made me really uncomfortable and, unlike times before, I confronted it and here we are😁
You know, I think when I was younger, wishing to the sky every night I could be a girl and spending hours looking at clothes on Amazon I found pretty should have been a big sign but it wasn't to me at the time 😅 When I looked back at my past and started researching why I felt bad and why I did things like that, that's when I found out :)
I always knew but suppressed it and then I came across labels like demigirl. I liked that because I don't want to acknowledge that I didn't feel like a girl at all and didn't want to be a girl but sometimes being nonbinary/androgynous can be less scary. And then I started researching being trans and used pronouns closet and cried so I started looking into ways to express myself safely
My (now ex) girlfriend called me mommy as a joke, and I liked it
After puberty started I eventually realized that the level that I hated my body changing wasn’t the same as other people my age, and frankly nothing about how I viewed my gender and my body was. So I tried out different pronouns, names and whatnot. I tried visualizing what I wanted to look like and identifying what parts of me I disliked. Then eventually, I found that being a boy was the best fit for me. My story is boring and sadly there was no moment where everything *instantly* “clicked”. It was simply trial and error.
Right around 2020, when I learned that it was a thing you could just be. I had spent most of my first 3 decades of life thinking that trans people only exist in rare circumstances and that I was just a weird pervert who wished they were born a girl and just really likes girl clothes. Then, I saw a couple of content creators who came out as non-binary. They explained what that meant and how they felt, and I realized that I had similar feelings and experiences. Then, I spent a few years in denial, thinking maybe I might wish to be a trans woman or enby, but figured that just couldn't be the case.
(*Probably stupid, I know, but...*) I was bored & taking quizzes on IDRLABS & I took a masculinity/femininity quiz. When I got an unexpected result, I was somewhat confused. Then, I took a gender compass quiz to see if it gave similar results (it did). I started thinking, "Well, I mean, I don't feel like my AGAB, but what does gender even feel like? It would be nice to be a girl, but I'm not. ("Wait a minute, do you remember when you fantasized about living as a girl?") I started googling what these thoughts meant. I thought, "Transgender? I've heard the word, but what does that even mean, by the way?" Turns out all of this was very not cis thoughts, & a lot of things started making sense. Part of me was super euphoric & excited, but soon enough, dysphoria started hurting a lot as well. This was me, **23** when my dense ass dome figured it out. 😅
It’s kind of more complicated than a single moment I had strong desires and a fixation on being a woman that I hid from everyone. I was so repressed I point to my Christian conservative childhood and everything in the media at time. So Covid happened, I took a 50 milligram edible because I thought I could handle it. I had a panic attack and realized I was depressed/not happy with life. Didn’t connect the dots then. I started drawing ideal versions of myself as a woman. What I was yearning for. Then I played cyberpunk as a trans woman. Saw Contrapoints do an interview on h3 and I super related to what she was talking about when it came to the trans experience. All these things eventually snowballed into me going “I’m going to lurk trans subreddits” everytime I googled things about trans people it pointed me here. So I lurked and then realized I related so much, discovered the gender dysphoria bible. I spent a lot of time in the middle of night and had my epiphany that I was definitely trans at 2am. Started coming out and calling doctors immediately the rest is history. I’m much happier now being myself, it’s not without its struggles and it has led me to realize I had other stuff going on mentally. I started actually taking care of myself and that was huge
I was never unhappy being a dude, I've had a good life. I felt very neutral about my appearance; especially my face, but had no confidence. I liked to work out a lot for the menal health benefits so I was in great shape. When I was 26 I was dating this girl who helped me explore a lot of things sexually that I had not gotten to try because of the lack of confidence. One night we were trying something new to me that she was into: a feminine aesthetic on my masculine physique (she was bi and liked masc girls). She picked an outfit for me from her own clothes and gave me a make over. Seeing myself that way... Something clicked and for the first time in my life I felt like the person I saw in the mirror was actually me. I realized there were so many signs from my youth that all started to add up that I was trans. It's kinda hard to believe I couldn't figure it out on my own. In hindsight, I think she could tell and did a really nice job of helping me figure it out. I started hormones a couple months after that. It's been 3 years and although I wasn't unhappy as a man I'm legitimately happy as a woman 💚 there's plenty of struggles but well worth it
I remember being around 6 ish, and my sister had let me borrow her iPod to play some games on. She left it in my room overnight, and so I did some exploring on the other apps and found YouTube. I ended up somehow on a documentary about a young trans kid socially transitioning, and my mind was completely blown. I didn't think I could ever really "go far enough to be a boy" even though being a girl didn't sit right either, but this fortunately introduced the concept of being trans in my mind much earlier than it would have otherwise. When I was 10, I started stumbling back down the trans rabbit hole again. I remembered that one trans video I saw as a kid and thought I should look into it again, and very quickly found an internet forum where I saw someone use the word "nonbinary." Googled that, and my world was blown wide open. I did switch labels around for a few years though. Took me until I was 15 to go back to identifying as enby, and that's where I've been since.
Technically when I was really little my grandma had a lot of silk nightgowns that I thought looked comfy, but I started saying I was a lesbian in middle school, I only started getting into makeup and fashion about 2 years ago though
Around November last year, all started years and years ago when I became a harry potter fan, eventually led to my realisation
I don't really know, me and some friends joked around about it and it just clicked.
When I was informed that cis people don’t question their gender over and over and over😅
I got asked if i could change the gender immediatly if i'd do it, it was just 10 days ago
Talking to my friends and realizing that the idea of being a female and being called she/her making you physically repulsed wasn't a common thing .
As a 4 yr old child I knew I was a boy n not a girl, been a boy since! I’m 30 now.
My best friend asked me if I wanted to tey She/Her pronouns when I was like 22.
I thought “I’m a boy” at age 7. But didn’t think “I am trans” until around 28. So… no one specific moment but much of my adult life has been trying to get back to the clarity I had when I was 7.
Kept trying hard to be macho, the toughest guy around. Grew a partial beard, got body hair, everything. It’s what I grew up with anyways. I absolutely hated it. During this time I tried playing as a girl character in a videogame, and I went “oh…this is nice.” I’m now happier then ever :3
I kinda knew since forever that I at least had a very feminine side but pushed it away all my life because I thought it was "easier" that way. When my ex gf moved out last October it was basically the first time in my live I was really on my own and didn't had to worry about anyone else. Literally the same evening I ordered a pretty skirt via overnight delivery. The next day I put it on and danced through my apartment for at least 4 hours with the brightest smile on my face. After that I just had to admit to myself that I'm definitely not cis. Needed like 2 more month to completely figure out if I'm just a femboy, genderfluid or actually a trans woman afterwards but it became pretty clear after the usual eggy doubts were dealt with.
I knew from a young age i as a mtf always had girls for friends. Also i used to get excited and couldn’t wait til the day when i could wear girl clothes only thing was boys don’t do that, til the teen years watching talk shows with trans people back then, i was like someday im gonna do that. Took 20 years but i did it
I never felt comfortable in my body, even as a kid but being trans wasn’t a possibility where I’m from. There are a lot of reasons that went over my head most of my life and it was with my ex that I broke my egg last year. She said cis people don’t think that way, you’re not cis. My body and soul feel at home a year later, I’m so content 🤍
i found out at 11! during school summer holidays. started feeling less like a girl and more like a boy. and at that time i had no clue what being trans was. so ofc i thought i was mentally ill till i decided to search it up 2 months later!! found out i was trans from then, knowing it was a completely acceptable thing. 3 years later and im so happy to be out to my family and be who i am <3
When I was little I used to cry because I wasn’t a boy and I was jealous that my brothers were allowed to pee on trees outside and I wasn’t. I remember my brother telling me about bottom surgery and I thought “that’s so cool, I want to do that on day”. I kinda blocked that out as I got older, but when people in middle school started coming out as trans, getting short haircuts, etc. I got really jealous of them, and by that point I knew what being trans was so I was able to articulate how I was feeling and recognize that I was trans
Friend of mine accidentally sent a trans meme in the gc we're in and after it felt relatable I looked more into it and realized that maybe I had been in denial about it for too long...
Read a transphobic article and got offended on my own behalf. About 8 months ago.
Late 2020 I was 14 secretly watching gay tiktok compilation when everything kinda clicked. I knew I was queer before that but never rlly thought about my gender until then
It took me having a supportive friendgroup who actively encouraged me to explore. I spent a lot of time gatekeeping myself, I think bottom line is that I didn't really know that I was experiencing dysphoria...until I wasn't.
uhhh probably when I was about 13? 12? Stumbled across the word "nonbinary" in a discord server
It hit me again and again throughout my life but I never let myself believe it. Finally I thought I had put the idea to bed permanently, and then I started playing VRChat and I only wore female avatars and most of my friends were trans and it turns out I had a lot in common with them and uh oh I be trans too
The final realization of "holy shit I think I want to be a guy" hit me in the head around 9th grade, when I figured out that spending my days maladaptive daydreaming about what it would be like to live as a guy wasn't just because I had a strong imagination lmfao. I'd spent my entire life wishing I was like my cis male peers though, so I kind of always knew in a way, but the Aha! moment definitely happened around high school.
When the boobs came in. I was immediately like "WRONG WRONG THIS IS WRONG WTF" and it all spiralled from there lmao
Well at first I thought I was a femboy, then I thought I was nb, and as I was thinking I was like, "so all my characters in games I play are female, I enjoy girly stuff and try to present as fem as possible, maybe I'm trans?" And then I started talking about it with another trans friend and they were like, "dude, you're trans" and then I was watching a video about subtle signs that you might be trans and as I was watching and checking off almost everything I was like, "huh, guess I'm trans" And now we're here, I'm a proud (closeted) trans girl!
i’ve always been more masculine/i grew up a “tomboy.” i don’t really think about my gender that much (although i consider myself a binary man and not non-binary/agender/etc.), but all of my “physical goals” had me presenting masculine (i’ve always wanted facial hair LOL) so… transitioning seemed like the best choice for me :P
I used to use girl names online for some reason... Then, when an online friend came out, people were hostile toward their transition, I never understood their hostility, and it opened my eyes to the possibility of transitioning. Additionally I was introduced to a lot of egg culture around this time. I used to read a lot of genderbending manga, and would always want to be mistaken for a girl when I was in public. Eventually, I was playing fucking ranked apex legends and I accidentally cracked my egg and had an entire gender awakening in the middle of it while looting.
It started ever since i was very young. I remember doing role play with my sister and i always wanted to play the male characters (im ftm) and i always hated how my chest was growing. I was also interested in being more of what society considers masculine. For example i liked my huge muscles and the fact that i was so athletic. Then while growing up i slowly started realising i might not be a girl so i started experimenting with other genders such as demigirl, nonbinary and then reacged the point that i thought "i think im a demiboy" it didnt take me many weeks after that to realise i actually felt 100% a boy. That was around the age of 14 i think
Ok so this is dumb but I may have had certain learning issues and also a narcissistic father so I took his word as law and literal and kept repeating to my bullies what he told me ("You're more of a man than they are") and then met a trans man and became best friends. Turns out a lot of people hate their bodies and sometimes it's called dysphoria not dismorphia. Anywho, yea bow I'm trans and happy (or as close to happy as I can be for now) and i came out to my older brother and then a few years later he came out as transmasc so yippee
Felt my boobs(which i never had obvs) were missing after months of questioning.
I wrote a nearly 3k word essay about this before, in which I took a very long time to say that I consciously understood my trans identity sophomore year of highschool, but there were so many signs throughout my entire childhood that I could have figured it out much sooner if I had actually been able to understand it
I just realized how I never could connect with femininity and womanhood, I always felt like a boy pretending to be a girl, if that makes sense. I’m a proud, outed trans man now and I realized my trans identity around the age of 13-14.
Well, after years of being homophobic and transphobic, I moved in with my father and suddenly had to accept my ftm brother as trans... Which I found surprisingly easy. It helped me get over my trans and homophobia. Eventually, I started to realize how many of my normal behaviors are what trans eggs do. I started experimenting with my gender. I'd already spent YEARS "pretending" to be a boy online (my sister knew I was an egg back in 2015). I started out genderfluid but I started wanting to be fem less and less, and I figured it was just a phase. It was not a phase. I still like to wear "girls" clothes though but I've even been doing that less because when I do I don't pass very well. So yeah. I spent the first 14 years of my life dissing trans kids, and now I'm 18 and transmasc💀. How the turns table...
One topic... Need I say more
June 1st 2020, stumbled across Egg\_irl July 4th 2020, saw a young pic of me, though looked cute, realised it was before puberty and I hated the effects of T, Decided I would transition. July 10th 2021, started HRT July 1st 2024, still boymode, but at least I have (nearly) b-cups, and am sometimes cute.
When I got married and anytime someone called me "wife" or "mrs." it was like a stab to the gut. I loved my husband and didn't regret getting married, but it took a couple weeks for me to realize that stab was ✨*gender dysphoria*✨
I always knew, in some part of me, that I wasn’t really female. I mean, I used to dress up as Batman and would cry if my mom said I was bat*girl*, ffs But it took me moving out for the first time and meeting transmasc people for it to hit me. Like, “shit, I’m not a tomboy, I’m a *dude*.” It was a very distressing realization, honestly, because at the time it was yet another thing that made me “not normal”.
I noticed that I didn't want to be a boy in 2002 when I was only 10yo. I didn't know what that meant. I thought it should mean I was gay, but I didn't like boys. during the next years I started doing stuff to affirm myself as a girl, without any language to help me understand. I just started turning my masculine underwear into feminine underwear by using strings and scissors, I was very creative with it. Also turning my large t-shirts into dresses. I did it all in secrecy. But I kept doing that for years. Puberty was a nightmare for me. I didn't want any of that at all. For some time I thought I was a crossdresser, then I thought I was a drag queen and then I learned about sissy, but all of these were always wrong for me. It was about 2017 that I learned what a trans person is and it then clicked! It all made sense. I was completely sure. I never ever felt comfortable being a man. I knew I had to be a woman somehow since my childhood
Meeting another transgender man I was like waiiiit a second you can DO that?? I felt like my eyes were opened. Also I realized I wanted to love men as a man not as a woman which helped me discover my sexuality as well!
My cousin. “Look mate, you cut your hair short, you hate your body, you have a trans wife you switch clothes with, you go by Anthony, and you have Chunky Dunks, I’m pretty sure your trans” Soooo yeah- 😂
To pin point the final crack in my egg. When I thought I was just a crossdresser and enjoyed wearing my breasts around the house doing normal chores and my brother made the comment “so you’re not crossdressing… you’re experimenting living as the other gender.”.
When I clicked on this post not knowing anything more than the title
when i was 11 i would pray id get breast cancer just to have top surgery. that’s not normal
"Well I do play more women than men in my games and TTRPG"
Started playing as a guy online, later became one
A friend came out to me as nb and we talked about it. I thought "holy shit I relate to everything they said like super hard". That was when I was 20. And then I spent a year contemplating it because I didn't want to seem like I was copying them (dumbass mode). And then between those times I thought "Hmmmm am i woman?" And decided no, but I sure as hell did want tits. So p sure my doctor fudged my dysphoria/presentation a lil to my insurance to make sure I got on HRT which I'm thankful for, even if they think I'm a woman.
My cat told me I was trans. I understand her language and speak it fluently.
I found out a few months ago, when I started using AI chat apps, and I found that most of the personas I adopted when chatting with bots were feminine. *probably* not a habit a cis person would have 😅
This subreddit, 16
Watched Ginny Di videos, saw she did mermaid cosplays and did a whole DnD music album surrounding mermaids, thus reigniting my love of mermaids. Proceeded to then start questioning my gender and my egg shattering the moment I tried women's clothing for the first time.
since i realized being trans was a thing,. then i thought that i was faking since sometimes i felt kinda cis, and then boom. genderfluid (with a bunch of other stuff, i might add, but i strongly identify with it)
Weird era of being coaxed into right leaning ideology during 2016 and a lack of political knowledge. Being in those circles and seeing how vile and mean those people were so I started distancing myself. After years of thinking bad things of trans topics, I look into some of the communities and see their humanity and understand a lot more over time. Eventually, after supressing the thought that maybe I'm trans for a year or so, I started to look into transitioning. I still deal with a lot of self issues, but I'm just happy I was able to get more progressive and finally feel happiness for once as myself.
I knew I was attracted to a big group of people at an early age due to childhood experiences. Then in middle school I dated a cis & straight dude for a long time, and had many revelations. I hated my chest, I was jealous of his anatomy, and any of his attempts at fem flirts felt *bad.* At first I thought it was just him, so I broke up with him. I just thought "okay, women instead then" but it was similar, flirting with them felt just as bad because they would only talk to me about the things that were fem presenting on me. No surprise here, but it also sucked :/ So then I had decided to think about it really, really hard. I started remembering how, as a child, I was more like the boys. I liked "boy" things, my mom said I liked "boy colors" a lot as a kid, and I constantly thought about not liking being a girl. Then, later that week, one of my close friends came out as trans. That's when realized I don't have to be a girl! I could be something else! So I played with it and identified as gender fluid for a while. That's how I realized that I'm really a man :) but I also kinda realized that my sexuality is more of a mystery than I knew lol. Anyways, have a wonderful dayyy!
NB! cult adjacent religious upbringing but i learned when i moved out of my small town and learned the vocabulary for it. i began to surround myself with queer people and wanting that for myself and finally had the words to describe my experience and examples of openly queer relationships and identities.
Sometimes it doesn't really hit until you experience gender euphoria go try on a dress or a suit and see how that makes you feel have someone refer to you with different pronouns and use different gendered terms of endearment
In the midst of a passively abusive (I don’t think she knew what she was really doing) relationship with a girl who was pretty religious. Thankfully I left her after around 6 years. After a couple years of being single and exploring my gender I found my current gf whom I’m going to be moving in with soon. Got a feeling this time will be a LOT better. 🥰
when i started to get jelaous for clotuing that "only woman" could wear...
I found out what homosexual meant when I was in 6th grade and then went on a research spree, found the term transgender and was curious on what it was so I researched more, found some YT vids about it and realized it fit me and what I was thinking about my gender identity.
I learned about what dysphoria was and like a movie, all those times I was called she/her/girl/lady/etc flashed back to me and it sunk in that it’s not normal to hate being called those things. I was 22. It also gave a reason to why I was uncomfortable being looked at and with my body in general.
When someone posted a picture of the nonbinary flag and explained what each of the stripes stand for. That's when I saw the definition for agender.
15 or 16 is when I had the first thoughts. It wasnt till 24 when it finally hit full force and I decided to do something about it
It was a bunch of things, but the last straw was a dream I had. Woke up and cried for like half an hour. It was hard to keep denying things after that.
I thought everyone wished they were born the opposite gender, that it was a kind of unspoken rule to not talk about it. Then I found r/egg_irl and thought it was awesome to see an entire group dedicated to it, until I read the description of the subreddit and was left with a surprise Pikachu face
I found out when I was about 15/16. I have absolutely no idea how exactly I figured it out, I just kinda had this eureka moment while spacing out in my US history class. I then proceeded to hide in the closet for 2 years.
I knew who I was at a very young age. I didn't have a word for it until I was 30.
Since birth,idk how to explain it I've always been the way I am😭
I've just kinda knew, like, I don't have a single memory where I didn't feel wrong about being my AGAB. I mean, I cross dressed when I was 4, and I still remember how happy it made me. When I turned 15, I had learnt that I could change gender, I had learnt that being trans was a thing. When I was almost 16, I ran away from my dad. 10th February 2023. I arrived at my mother's and came out that very day.
One of my friends came out as GF and then described all of the reasons that they were GF and I was like ‘all of those things are things I think too.’ but since my family didn't believe in anything trans, I sort of put it to the back of my mind, and then several years passed (I was about 10ish when they came out) and I was thinking back on it and was like ‘Oh. That's a thing’ and started researching and now I'm GF! So yay?
When I was 14, I hoped reincarnation existed so that I could be born a girl but i didn't think that was enough proof for myself, so I spent another 5 years of denial and now i can't keep making excuses.
slowly, over the course of many many years, taking experimental baby steps, surrounded by friends who were also discovering they were trans. over the course of these years and steps, one day I woke up, I was going by a different name, I was they/themed by all my friends, I was on testosterone gel, and I was presenting far different than I started, and it's like, hey fellas, this trans thing might be real
I always felt like I was born in the wrong body when I was younger, like 12 but I didn't know what trans was til about high school and was too scared to come out fully because my family is really religious. I still haven't completely come out yet, but I have recently started using my preferred name more often.
It was when I was 13/14, and I remember just feeling so bad about myself whenever I was perceived as a girl, like using women’s restrooms and only being able to wear more girly clothes really fucked me up 😂 It was also the first year I went to a pride event with my sister and her girlfriend and I got called a dude on a few occasions and it just felt so right.
gigi gorgeous documentary ad on youtube i was 9 maybe 10
I was 25, having a "Im totally a lesbian in a mans body" mentality since i started high school, and the ratio in my friend group flipped from mostly boys to mostly girls. Slowly, i started denying things less and less about my gender and sexuallity until the first season of Sense8 came out, and I met my favorite sapphic in cinema, Nomi Marks. Her arc in the first season, her relationship with Aminita, they way her mother denied her identity while giving her the whole "ill love you no matter what" as she drops her deadname constantly... just the entire concept of her personality and identity, literally being carved away from her while she's in the hospital. Suddenly it hit me that this was exactly the same feeling and anxiety I got from just being myself near my family, and the gut punch feeling that had slowly built through school when people would call me by name suddenly made sense outside of my anxiety. This crawling in my skin made sense. It wasn't me, I didn't enjoy being around most men, associated with most men or physically comfortable or safe around most men my whole life. I hated my body, i hated what was expected of me, how I didn't feel i could dress or act. I hated having to curb my taste in music or movies or clothes just to keep people from giving me judgmental looks. Came out to a few very close friends first, (luckily i settled on a new first name quickly and stuck with it) then my parents who wouldnt start calling me my new name for half a decade, and just finally in the last few years am im starting to eek towards socially transitioning.