This. I'm making an assumption that OP's cousin is at least a young adult/teen. If so someone needs to inform cousin that grown-ups do not make rude noises ("eww") or otherwise insult others' food choices. It's also insensitive to the host/establishment. What a drag, sorry you had to deal with this immature dolt, OP!
Exactly. The real problem here is not the finicky palate per se; it's the utter lack of respect for the other people eating. You just don't tell people that what they are about to enjoy is disgusting.
She sounds very immature.
Also if you’re the picky one then you need to find something on the menu to eat and you don’t get to pick the places. Fine you’re picky, but then figure out yourself don’t hold others back from eating what they want. It can easily be flipped; I’m picky about not eating bland boring foods or something I can easily find at home when traveling so why don’t I throw a fit if someone wants to skip a restaurant I want to go to.
I don’t love sushi but I keep quiet and eat the California rolls, and plain white rice and smile. I wouldn’t insult my friends or the restaurant hosts.
I've learned to just go to a restaurant and eat. If the person is hungry, they will order something.
If they don't eat, it's on them.
Done this with my brother and sister. In the end, my brother ended up loving spicy food. My sister finally like differnt type of meats.
My daughter is kinda fussy but by age 12+ she learned to be good company, order something she might like that will keep as leftovers, or at least spend $ on a drink. She’s happy to do this as long as there’s food she likes at home as a back up.
My daughter was a very picky eater as a kid (until college). We traveled all over with her and on vacations our agreement was that we would try to find something she liked but that we would not change the meals for the rest of us. Also we might encourage her to sample something, we would not hassle her and no restrictions on balanced meals. We spent 2-3 weeks in Japan and she ate plain ramen, fished out of the broth at least once most days. She didn’t complain and we figured she could get back onto a balanced diet when we got home.
Exactly! There was a time where I had to eat very plain and basic things for a while. I was down to go anywhere my friends wanted to and always found something on the menu I could have. I loved hearing about everyone else’s dishes. I would’ve told her to stay in the hotel room lol.
Exactly. I'm picky against my will (I have allergies), but I would never complain or make comments about what people are eating. I tell the restaurant staff my allergies and ask if it's possible to accommodate me and make my peace with my options. I'm just grateful to be able to eat something, even if it's not food I enjoy. I only get upset if I was told a meal was safe but it ends up having my allergens, but even so, I don't cause a scene.
Same. I've got weird enough allergies I typically just don't eat unless I know how the food was prepared and exactly what was in it, but I still go to restaurants when my friends want. I either order something I can eat or just don't eat until I get home. My closest friends know my restrictions and we'll get together at one of our houses so I can also eat but I'm not going to hold a group back just because my body decides to kill itself if I have a tree nut
100%. My son is probably pickier than OP’s cousin, but he doesn’t care what other people eat. He knows he’s the one who has an unusual palate. We try to accommodate him but sometimes he just has to deal with everyone else eating while he either eats ahead of time or later. Now my wife’s food allergies are the real kick in the proverbial nuts. But that’s a story for another thread.
I learned the hard way a while back that just because someone is a good friend when we’re home, does not mean we are travel compatible. I have a handful of friends I love, but won’t travel with because we are just too different in how we want to spend that time.
When I travel with my friends, we usually add a "free day" in our itinerary where we don't have to do stuff together. We're kind of open about the fact that when we go on trips together, we reach the point where we need a break from one another because we're mostly introverts.
That’s smart! I’m also glad you have the kind of friends that understand that and don’t take it as some kind of insult. I love my friends, but I also really need some alone time to recharge. Part of the lesson I learned on that trip was that it’s okay to do things separately. I missed out on things I wanted to do because I felt bad not waiting for them, but they obviously didn’t care and that was my own fault for not taking charge a little bit.
Oh totally. Learned that the super hard way during the pandemic. Had a friend who we really loved hanging out with during the lockdown days but once we started traveling realized that we don’t get along at all. We still love to hang out on nights home but agreed we will never travel together or at least plan events together.
First trip together I didn’t think it would be. We rented an AirBnb together and agreed to leave for the trip at the same time, he was the check-in contact and ended up arriving 20 hours late “because my mom called and I lost track of time”
Luckily the hosts were accommodating.
Yea unfortunately this is a lesson you tend to learn the hard way. One bad trip because you’re so travel-incompatible, but were long time friends before can cause a friendship to rapidly fall apart. Travelling with close friends seems like the funnest thing in the world. And if you are compatible, it probably is! But in the event y’all are not, it’ll suck hard.
I make it clear up front that I’m not eating at chains or eating stuff I can get at home when I travel.
My wife isn’t picky per se, but she isn’t as adventurous as I am. We recently did a New England trip and I ate seafood at least once a day. She doesn’t like it but was quite fine to tag along and eat her grilled cheese or whatever limited selection of non seafood the places had.
A big part of it is if you’re picky, nobody cares as long as you don’t make the trip about you and cause others to have to miss out on things.
Yes on that last point. We really only notice picky people who make a production out of it. I’m sure I’ve eaten with quiet picky eaters before and just didn’t even notice.
Yes. I am a picky eater in that I don’t eat a lot of meat. But i try to make something work wherever we go, and if it doesn’t then sure I might grab something after). Goal is never to let my pickiness come in the way of the trip!
My girlfriend’s friends came with us on a weekend trip and part of that town’s attraction is that it was originally settled by German settlers, so we went to a German restaurant. One of her friends is picky, but I wouldn’t have known. She ate her chicken fingers and said the place looked cool.
The best way to travel with friends is to have your own itinerary. “I’m doing breakfast at 8 at the bakery, these two museums in the morning, Korean bbq for lunch, walking old town followed by a nap, then dinner at tofu palace. What of that do you want to join me for?”
People act like if you’re traveling together you have to spend all your time together. Nah, only if it’s fun for both
Great advice. Yeah, communicate what YOU want to do and find the common ground. Thanks for that, currently planning a trip and I'm going to make this part of my "let's get on the same page" check ins
Also the thirds rule is pretty good. They advise this for families. Spend 1/3rd of the time doing stuff you want to do, 1/3rd of the time doing stuff they want to do, and 1/3rd of the time doing stuff you *both* want to do.
This reminds me...my wife and I are 100% aligned on our travel itinerary preferences with the exception of how we treat art museums. When we go to a museum we usually separate for a little bit so she can look at portraits of dead white people and I can look at pretty colors.
We know this about each other and don't fight about it.
Oh man. I'm in Croatia with some colleagues for a work thing, and we had Döner today for lunch, because one guy doesn't eat anything but chicken and he wanted Döner. We live in Germany, the Döner land. I am just happy that they're colleagues and I don't have to travel with them again.
When I was young on a family vacation, I remember being annoyed that we were getting lunch in a mall food court with all the same old fast food we had at home, just because my sister was a picky eater and wanted McDonald's.
On the other hand if you have friends who like to try new foods too, it’s great to travel together because you can order a lot of different dishes and try them all family style.
It's all about who you travel with. I love travelling with my friends because they're all very open minded and don't have the palate or maturity of a toddler.
GTFOH with that dino nugget diet.
A few years ago I moved to a resort town. We have tons of restaurants. A bit of everything.
After I moved, a friend of mine visited. I knew she was a picky eater, but I didn’t realize how picky. This girl literally will eat the following things: chicken tenders/dino nuggets, French fries, PB&J or Caesar salad. She won’t even eat a burger or Mac and cheese. I had reservations at a pretty nice steakhouse. Nothing on the menu really appealed to her, so she ordered a ceasar salad with a side of fries. It was embarrassing.
She stayed for TWO WEEKS! I think we probably went to Red Robin for chicken tenders ten times during that period of time.
I was also in the process of getting my business off the ground, so I took as much time off as I could. She expected me to play tour guide every day, but she hadn’t done any research ahead of time about things that she wanted to see/do. I’d ask her what she felt like doing on any given day and I’d be answered with “I don’t know.” She was miserable the whole time, and was literally on her phone playing Pokémon Go when I took her anywhere.
This is the same girl that took a trip to Iceland with some photography friends, and had a miserable time, because she never wanted to leave the airbnb. She survived for the entire trip on PB&J.
When she visited me, it made me realize that she’s just a miserable person who does everything she can to remain miserable, and thrives on complaining. Nothing will satisfy her. I reevaluated our friendship after this, and I haven’t talked to her in about 4 years. She messaged me last spring saying that she would be in town, and I ignored it.
What’s the point of travelling somewhere if you’re not going to eat the local food? I remember Andrew Zimmern saying one thing he refuses to eat is a hamburger in China. Why? Because there’s so many incredible local delicacies throughout the country. Eating Subway on a short visit to Korea is laughable.
> What’s the point of travelling somewhere if you’re not going to eat the local food?
Thats the equivalent of saying what is the point in travelling somewhere if you're not going to go on the local hiking trails, or what is the point in travelling somewhere if you're not going to hit the local clubs.
You generally go places to do/experience things, but everyone has their own preferences in what they do/experience. Just because trying local food isn't someones preference doesn't mean they should just stay home and miss out all the stuff they wanted to do/experience.
Eh I used to have that attitude, but people are just different. Some people, particularly the picky eaters, the “food is fuel” crowd, and those with major food intolerances, prioritize food very low on the list. I don’t, so I either don’t travel with them or it’s well understood before the trip we are splitting up for many of the meals so everyone gets to eat what they want. Traveling pushes people out of their comfort zone, but everyone is going to have a different sense of how big a step they are willing to take at a time.
Live and let live, and appreciate that those kind of people just mean that the lines for the local food hot spots are that much shorter.
I like your sympathetic view. I love travel and love food, but I have allergies so it can be rough when I'd love to just try anything and everything, but can't. I feel like it makes me come across as picky even though I'm technically down for anything!
We have friends who traveled to Las Vegas for their first time. When we suggested places to eat and asked them what would they like, they said Denny's.
At least Denny’s is unique to the U.S. if I was visiting Las Vegas, I’d definitely go for something like that. I just think it’s funny that if you had a short two day journey to another country, in this case another culture, presumably, that’d you’d want to go to Subway.
As an American I really implore you to seek out an authentic American diner before you think they all taste like fucking Denny’s. That being said I will accept Waffle House as authentic
Do you just travel to eat, or do you also enjoy the nature, architecture, history, sights, sounds, etc.? You can enjoy all of those things without caring for the food, doesn't mean you shouldn't travel.
See, I'll get a McDonald's every time I go somewhere. Because it's so familiar, the difference in items, flavours, seasoning, and overall experience can still tell you a lot about a country.
I’m actually the same way. I find localization to be fascinating, and always am curious about the local take on a global idea. I would say that I so far haven’t found anything amazing at McDonald’s but would get the McKroket in Amsterdam or the McAloo Tiki in or Maharaja Mac in India.
I always stop into a supermarket in a foreign country too just to check out both the local and global brands and how they’ve adapted. And at some point I want to see Tokyo Disneyland to get a Japanese take on the theme parks.
On the other hand, when Koreans travel, they typically prefer to eat Korean food. My wife is Korean and I have a ton of Korean coworkers. When (most) coworkers/customers come from Korea, they typically want to eat Korean food. When we have family come to visit from Korea, we will eat other things but it's mostly Korean food. I was just talking to my wife today about her childhood trip to the US, where they were on a large Korean tour bus, driving across the US and Canada, and at almost every single stop the tour company took them to a Korean restaurant.
Not to single out Koreans (it's just what I am most familiar with) as I've seen others do this, too. Worked at an Italian restaurant in my youth and had an Italian family on holiday trash our food in Italian, not knowing (or caring) our waitress was literally Italian and fluent. They were very rudely saying how bad the bread was compared to what they can get at home. Worked at a sushi restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona and had a Japanese tourist complain about the food and say it wasn't authentic (owners and sushi chef were all Japanese immigrants, but obviously the menu was catered to Americans.)
As an American who never eats American food abroad and always tries to eat what the locals eat, I also get irritated when people come to my country and have zero interest in our food, and ashamed when I see Americans behave that way.
My husband is like that. He doesn’t judge other people’s eating habits and is polite about requesting things that a restaurant might not usually do because he’s aware that he can be kind of high maintenance about his food.
But the cousin’s behavior is hella rude.
When OP mentioned pig's feet, I started to relate to the cousin (they're kind of exotic to me too), but everything else looks very easy to like and delicious. Regardless, I wouldn't bring up any negative opinions about what others are eating. It really brings down the experience of everyone else for no reason.
The food that I've had in tasting events with open-minded friends is the best food I've ever had, probably because everyone was really into everything and highlighting the positives, using appetizing descriptors, etc. That's the best ambience you can have, and that's a much bigger factor than people think
Same! Also I’ll try a bite of a friend’s food if they offer it and I’m feeling brave enough, otherwise I’ll just politely say “no thanks” and keep any negative thoughts to myself. And I’d certainly never say ew if someone was enjoying a meal I didn’t think looked good
I'm autistic so can also be very picky about food. I spend a lot of time before all my trips researching restaurants and finding ones that will have food that I feel safe eating. I'll literally have dozens of restaurants listed in a note with my menu item written next to it.
If I'm going someplace that has food very different from what I'm used to, I'll also do a lot of research to see what local dishes are similar to what I eat at home. I'll then go to a local restaurant to try that food before my trip starts to see if I feel safe eating it.
Finally, I always travel with a lot of my favorite snacks just in case.
This may seem like a lot for some people and I can see how this may kill the spontaneity that most people long for when they travel, but doing all these things makes travel so much more enjoyable for myself and whoever I'm with.
The point is, I'm a picky eater too but I own that and plan ahead.
My son has autism and is very picky. We travel very well together because he can always find something very plain to eat. As someone said there's always rice. Also. I taught him not to be rude about what other people are eating.
> If I'm going someplace that has food very different from what I'm used to, I'll also do a lot of research to see what local dishes are similar to what I eat at home. I'll then go to a local restaurant to try that food before my trip starts to see if I feel safe eating it.
This is so autistic I love it <3
One of the reasons I was diagnosed so late in life with autism is that I never had problems with food. A loud contingent of autistic people insist it’s impossible for people with autism to eat anything besides chicken nuggets.
Haha I eat a lot more than chicken nuggets too. I'm definitely not as restrictive as many autistic people and was also diagnosed later in life. More than anything, I get stressed about unknowns. So the more I can plan ahead, the more I enjoy the trip.
This! I am a selective eater but I would NEVER let my preferences get in the way of someone else’s, at home or while traveling. I’d be far too embarrassed.
I’m a really picky eater too and I have the same rule. What I’ve noticed for myself though is that it’s entirely psychological. I like to travel and when I leave the country I’ll eat whatever is put in front of me because I don’t want to offend anyone. A lot of my friends are first generation Americans and if their parents offer me food, I eat it so I don’t offend them. But anyone else or anywhere else? I don’t want it lol
Also I’ve gotten really annoyed with my eating patterns because I’m limited to the same things over and over again. I try to eat small things off my boyfriend’s plate who is an intense foodie. I’ve also started cooking too. I’ve found for me that if I can see everything that goes into it and taste everything, I feel better about it.
Taking the psychological piece out, I’ve learned that there are only two things (so far) that I rreaaaaalllly don’t like. Yogurt and peas. Ugh.
Edited to add: all my picky adult eaters should check out what ARFID is and see if it resonates with you. That’s what I have and I’m working on it.
I grew up a very picky eater too! Literally would only eat white rice + some type of stew/soup if im not familiar with the food served in front of me. I tend to prejudice food on how they look like or how they smell. I used to sniff food before deciding if i'm gonna try it 😅 But i'm the same with you, i never disrespect someone if they offer me food, esp the elders!
Then i remember very vividly, this started 2017 when i got hooked to korean music and their culture, i knew i had to try their food too— and a lot of them being fermented, obvs they won't smell very nice. But maaaan do they taste good, oh lord! Went to Seoul for my first ever solo trip and absolutely loooved their food. From there on, i never stopped trying new dishes! 😂 I was glad to be able to work on my eating preferences.
There's still certain things i wouldnt have (eg pudding) bec of the texture. I have adhd so no matter how hard i try, it just doesnt work on some lol
Aww! I love that you found a way to combat the picky eating and you keep trying new dishes!!! I want to visit a few Asian countries but I’m aware I don’t have the palette yet to fully enjoy it. Luckily I live in an area with a large Asian population so I’ve been trying things slowly 😊
Yes, thank you! I think it's also bec my palette shifted as i became an adult so that definitely helped! I used to not eat anything spicy (even the ones BARELY spiced lol) and now i feel sad without a bit of heat. 😂 Def toned down on sweets now too, i cant even finish a pint of ice cream anymore. Lol.
That's really great to hear about your progress too! Love taking things slowly just so it wouldnt feel at all that youre pressuring yourself to take in new things. Also, it's better to enjoy them gradually. Hope you'll find more Asian foods to like!! 😍😍
My partner hates spending a lot of money and then being disappointed in the meal. So he likes to eat familiar food on vacations. I love gambling with money on food abroad. We often eat separate, or alternate.
This is so wild to me, unless you’re talking about a resort-type vacation. I feel like experiencing the local food of wherever you’re visiting is such a huge part of the experience.
Good friend of mine that loves to travel got diagnosed with celiac when she was in her late 20s. She feels so much better now eating GF, but that also means that any food mixup or cross contamination she gets majorly messes her system up for the rest of the day and some of the following day. When you are only in a spot for a week, spending 30% of the week in bed or the WC is not ideal.
Yes, I love all food my stomach unfortunately only likes 10% if it so I either suck it up and spend the rest of the trip in the bathroom or I’m a PITA and eat stuff I know won’t upset. I hate it. Usually I’ll eat before we go out so friends can eat wherever they want and I’ll just have a fizzy water.
Guess everyone just has different travel priorities. Me, I want to see nature, specifically birds which is what I plan my trips around but I like it all. Food for me is just another required thing like sleep and hygiene, something I have to deal with in order to continue the fun parts of the trip. Most of my trips start with a supermarket visit to stock up on whatever cheap and portable food is available, so I can have more time and money doing what I enjoy instead of searching for restaurants and paying more. I'll happily eat cold canned ravioli if I get to do it at a scenic wild location.
My GF really enjoys the food as a main part of travel though, so when we travel together she picks the restaurants, covers the meals, and gets to order 2 different dishes to try since I usually don't care what I eat and will just finish whatever she doesn't. And if I don't like it, I always have my emergency ravioli can. In turn I handle the logistics and entry fees to places I want to go. Just have to be a little flexible, and you can turn seemingly contrasting interests into a benefit for both sides.
I like that the cold canned ravioli started out as a hyperbolic way to make the point that you have and extremely utilitarian view of eating, but in the end it turned out that you literally eat that somewhat regularly.
Ugh totally, my dad keeps doing this everytime he goes on vacation and being disappointed by the food...
It seems obvious that you're not going to get lucky with restaurants if you don't eat the local specialties and you always go for the most bland generic American-style food on the menu!
Some people care more about food than others. I personally couldn't care less what I eat while traveling, I'm fine eating the same simple meal every day.
My philosophy on food is you just try the shitty stuff to know what’s good. I eat anything and everything and sometimes the not so highly rated is rated as good as the highly rated places but. Cause the service or ambience isn’t as good they get a lower rating. Good thing I don’t care about those things.
I’ve also tried horrible things too to appreciate the good stuff lol
Married to an extremely picky eater. Like a lot of things about marriage, there's compromise. Part of my responsibility as a partner is to make sure my partner is happy on vacation. And in her case she literally can not, will not eat anything new. I just try to find local options that have something on the menu she'll eat, or craft the vacation in such a way that she won't be hungry (ex. Having snacks, cooking for ourselves when possible), and I find my opportunities to be exploratory with food.
People can have food aversions for a lot of reasons. I have always figured it out for myself or didn't eat. It's amazing how often that isn't acceptable for people. I'm sure your partner can relate.
It's not for me, and I'm sure the description I've given isn't charitable enough. My partner compromises on their end when need be, it's definitely a mutual understanding. But I'd rather them be happy on vacation if I can make it happen at all
Thank you for actually being a considerate spouse. It’s kind of upsetting the number of people who, because they are open-minded eaters without any food intolerances, think that it’s totally fine to walk into a trip, eyes wide open, fully knowing their companion has a more limited palate and yet be completely uncompromising in eating what they want for every meal while their companion eats a bowl of rice or whatever they can find on the menu. It’s the limited eater’s trip too, and adventurous eaters can be just as rude and selfish as limited ones.
Reddit at it's finest. Redittors will tell people to get a divorce because of the slightest inconvenience. In reality, relationships consist of countless compromises, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree. Just last week I was downvoted on this very sub after daring to criticise one redditors comment that OP should better break up with their partner… The issue was that the partner was a bit of a homebody that did not want to travel often.
Sure, that is annoying and definitely a relationship challenge, but I would never tell someone to break up over that. Especially if the relationship is fine otherwise.
Compromising is key. If you can‘t do that, you are not ready for a serious relationship.
I appreciate the support, and echo your sentiment. Josh Scherer of Mythical Kitchen made a really good point on a podcast one time along these lines about a girl he was dating who said she really liked sushi. So he took her to a fine dining sushi spot, chef-led omakase (sp) menu, and she didn't really enjoy it. Turns out she just likes basic sushi as most people know (spicy tuna, California, etc). He said that was selfish on his part to not consider her perspective and assume that she would like this experience.
Just like it's easy to assume a limited eater has a limited experience just because they don't eat the food. They don't have a limited one, just a different one.
Doesn't really sound like the issue is a picky eater, the issue is you are with someone rude. I am quite picky myself but this just feels like narrow-mindedness borderline xenophobia to be honest.
I was just talking with my dad about this a few minutes ago. I’ve been on a “year abroad” program since August and only grew out of my picky eating habits about a year prior. The many travel experiences I’ve had this past year would’ve been so different and so much less special if I were still picky. I’m incredibly thankful to have grown out of it
I'm not the person you replied to, but here's my tips from someone who started to grow out of their picky eating phase when I was 21.
1. Put yourself in situations where you'll be embarrassed to be picky. For me, I lived with a host family for a semester, and I was terrified of offending them + knew it would be insane to expect them to cook the things I was used to eating. That's an extreme example, but maybe go to a restaurant with coworkers that doesn't serve what you normally eat, something like that.
2. Distract yourself while eating. If you're out with friends or family and are involved in the conversation, it may be easier to quickly put a bite in your mouth and swallow without thinking too hard.
3. Don't expect to like things the first time you try them. I know that the first time I try something very new to my palate, I'm probably not going to be able to appreciate it. I have to get used to it first by exposing myself to it multiple times, so I'm prepared to just grin and bear it.
A big part of it is really just using my other neuroses to combat the picky eating! Too afraid of embarrassing myself to be not eat what's served to me. Too anxious about wasting money to waste the meal I ordered.
Obviously there's no cure-all that will work for everyone, but these things helped me! I'm still not a perfectly adventurous eater, but I'm MILES better than I ever was. It's funny, I can eat sheep brains but mayonnaise is still unbearable.
Would like to expand on this to include another tip, pay attention to friends that eat a lot of different foods/cuisines but that seem to have high standards. Essentially choose which friends you would trust if they told you to try something.
Not her but me and my brother were both picky eaters as kids and will now eat anything. What my mom started with was “You only have to try it, one bite.” And if we didn’t like it it was no issue. That gradually morphed to a more expansive pallet. In OP’s case, her cousin really should have had “one bite” of every side dish, even if it was just one tiny seaweed leaf, or a little taste of the sauce by just dipping her spoon in it, and if she kinda liked it try a more substantial nugget. You don’t have to force yourself just be open to tasting new things.
This was always my mom's rule as a child. I had to try one bite and if I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it. Even then, I was pretty picky until we traveled abroad extensively in my elementary years. A lot of it is just exposure to different tastes and textures.
I used a try it 10 times (bite, chew for 5-6 seconds then you could spit it out) rule.
Theyd make a game out of it, like- no! I'm ony 9th bite of mushrooms, and I like now! Or, this is my 10th bite and I'm never eating shrimp again!
So for idk let's say sauce covered chicken breast like chicken Parm, as opposed to chicken nuggets, you'd have to take a bite and chew it for five seconds. Then you could spit it in a napkin. No big deal from us except a "glad you tried it."
I never did restaurant style either you ate what was fixed or could have a bedtime snack of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Some nights you won and it was dinosaur chicken nuggets, stegosaurus trees ( broccoli) and Kraft dinner and sometimes the grown ups won and it was french style salmon with lentils and with salad and a baguette.
Nobody went hungry, they developed etiquette on how to deal with food they didn't like on their plate and most of the kids turned out to like salmon and mushrooms.
This was similar to my house!
You had to try it twice, the first bite is to purely allow your taste buds to adjust.
Me Mam liked to remind me that my tastes will change with age and to try foods I didn't like every now and then. Now I'm hooked on random things that I legit disliked as a kid (Humous, is the most recent one).
>I had to try one bite and if I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it.
that's a great rule that doesn't pressure one into liking or reacting in disgust.
i have some very hard lines food-wise (though others may think it's weird i love crustacean guts yet hate bananas), but trying something is always like, "well, what am i out, 5 minutes or 10 bucks or so? just dump it and get something else."
you don't have to accept or enjoy everything, but it's good to throw the feelers out there. there's no obligation to commit.
We do that with our kids. One bite, you don’t even have to swallow it just taste it. The oddest things have been wolfed down, and some innocuous things have been rejected. Fine with me, but since doing that we’ve gone from a very limited menu at home to them giving pretty much anything a go.
Same here…ALWAYS try a bite. Even if I have had the food many times..if it is offered or on the table I always taste. I find some flavors can grow on me. Or I simply decide it’s not for me, but I never turn down a bite. Same for my bonus kid…1 bite he knows the rules 😉He will eat just about anything now!
It happened to me about high school to college age. I think adults typically have more accepting pallets. And I think that continues to expand a bit into your 30s.
Also not the person you're asking, but for me it was studying abroad. I didn't have the luxury of eating what made me comfortable because I was being served food by my host family. I didn't want to offend them. A lot of the dinners early in my time abroad ended with me later that night secretly going to McDonald's or something, but over time that lessened and my palate expanded. By the time the semester was over, I was eating things I'd never have eaten before - sardines on toast, cold octopus tentacle with olive oil, rabbit, etc. Since then I've gotten even more comfortable trying new things. I'm not sure that would have happened if I'd never studied abroad.
A huge part of becoming less picky is accepting that you won't like everything you try the first time. Unfamiliar flavors frequently don't taste "good" to you. But if you change your mindset away from "I like/dislike this food" to "this flavor is new, let's see how it goes" that's a huge step. You might find that if you try something a few times, you develop a taste for it, and you actually go from disliking something to craving it.
I am not picky at all and love travelling. I grew up with a brother who was a massively picky eater and he'd have struggled to eat 90% of the stuff I've had in some countries, its just such a different experience.
I think its so good just to be able to adapt and try things.
Your cousins issue is that she’s rude about it.
Last year I went to Japan with family with a relative who’s a very picky eater. They would (reluctantly) attempt to try something new but politely decline if it isn’t palatable to them. I pinned common fastfood places on google maps for them, they’d go grab something, and then rejoin us.
Having manners is not hard.
Exactly this. Most of my family are very picky. Even my mom makes disgusted noises if you dare to eat, say, broccoli near her. It takes the fun right out of going to a restaurant, to have people acting like it's cute to make faces and saw "eww" about what you're going to eat.
Happened to me with shitty kimchi i've had yeaaars ago. Place wasn't authentic at all, so idk what kimchi that was lmao but totally ruined korean food for me. Thank god i tried it again after so many years!
Idk if the OP was literal or it's an insinuation that they traveled with the family and everyone killed the enjoyment of soaking the experience by wanting to record every single thing (with multiple takes for those to be perfectly Instagrammable) and there's an 8yo in the family who refused to try cultural foods but insisted to exist purely on KFC at all times.
I’ve tried fast food places in new countries and each tastes different. The KFC in Jamaica tastes soooo much better than it does in the US.
Plus the menus vary country to country. Idk, it’s enjoyable to me.
I feel you OP. I was in a group trip China with someone who refused to eat: chicken, pork, anything with broth, anything steamed, and anything served with a body part she doesn't normally see (so she'd eat fish, but not if the whole fish was served to the table). She ate these things in America, (except the "whole animal" bit), so it wasn't the food she had a problem with. She was just a borderline xenophobe who thought the Chinese were too dirty to be trusted.
It didn't "ruin" my trip, but it's embarrassing to be associated with someone being disrespectful to the host country. It's obnoxious to call another culture's food "dirty" or "disgusting." It's one thing if you can keep it to yourself or are self aware enough to know you have food aversions outside the norm, but your travel partner sounds like mine: a terrible poker face and a judgemental attitude.
Probably insane levels of FOMO, I had a similar friend who was so desperate to travel with us after highschool, but his parents required that one of them come along with a bunch of teenagers, and that we also couldn’t go far away from our hometowns. It became such a hastle that we ended up canceling it because he refused to drop out but also refused to compromise at all with our plans and it just got way too late.
Your first sentence was my first thought. I have a friend like this who says no every time he is invited to a certain location that I and family/friends frequent. We stopped inviting him and he got mad and felt left out
I'm a somewhat picky eater and have an adventurous foodie husband. It's not uncommon for us to eat at different restaurants and reconnect after. Meals don't take that long. We also will still chat via text and send pics of what we ordered to each other.
We're a food adventurous couple and we often vacation abroad with another couple that prefers mostly chicken nuggets. We eat the breakfast buffet together at the hotel, kind of snack for lunch, and go our separate ways for dinner. The next day we can talk about our food adventures + hear about the chicken they ate. (They actually found a killer wings place in the Old Fishmarket Close in Edinburgh that we all went back to!)
At some point people have to be held responsible for their own experience. You shouldn’t have entertained hanging out with people who don’t care about your feelings and want you to do only what they want.
It’s as simple as saying “oh you don’t want to eat here? I understand. We can meet up later somewhere else and sightsee”
The problem is not that she's a picky eater, it's that she acts like a four year old about it.
Source: I'm a picky eater, but do not inconvenience other people because of it.
exactly! nothing wrong with finding some foods (even cuisines) unnappealling (you would hope they at least try them though). But you dont go around making faces and comments about what other people are eating. Just shut up, eat your rice and smile
How rude. If she really hated the Korean place and wanted Subway, she could have gone to Subway and you could have met her there after you'd finished eating Korean. Travelers don't have to do everything together.
It's easy to travel with a picky eater. Let them be. They can have their crackers, or rice, or gray boiled meat. They'd just better not expect me to eat the same way - I travel for food...
You are not petty. Traveling with people who complain things are not the same as they are back home is the worst. Those people should just stay home. What country is your cousin from?
Just wondering but how old is your cousin and does your aunt just stay quiet the entire time? Good thing it was only for 2 days! Now you can go enjoy all the Korean food you want! Good on you for being patient though, I definitely would have just broke earlier and reprimanded your cousin for being a picky little shit and stopped catering to her tastes. I understand there are certain foods that people just cant handle, but things like this
>And at some point even said something along the lines of "that looks disgusting" "you really like that?" ...
where someone is insulting a cuisine is pretty out of line in my opinion.
Not to mention that not wanting to eat dakgalbi because it looks spicy is a perfectly valid reason, because the standard version does have spice. If you grew up not eating much spicy food and you aren’t well versed in the different types, what you get will probably be at least a little spicy to you. It’s also a meal that’s served to the table, so I don’t know why anyone would want to go there if their dining companions weren’t as enthusiastic about it as they are.
I lived in Korea for 2 years and if jokbal, jjajangmyeon, KBBQ and dakgalbi are the highlights of your trip, you don’t strike me as a very adventurous eater. They’re great and popular for a reason, but they’re a dime a dozen and there are better things to try on a repeat visit (not to mention stuff that a picky eater would probably be more open to).
Yep. Also, if I am the cousin and OP suggested I eat something looked like pork tenderloin but was really pig's feet, I might not trust any future suggestions from OP. The conversation may have gone something like this:
OP: Try This. It's just pork. Delicious.
Cousin: Just pork?
OP: Well, pigs' feet. Same thing.
Cousin: Dude, I told you I'm not into that. I just want a sandwich or some soup dumplings.
OP: You are uncultured and impossible. I'm going to order noodles in a jet black funk-flavored sauce. I think they have *dumplings* here. \*scoffs\*
Cousin: Dude, please don't try to trick me into eating tripe dumplings. Those are tripe dumplings. Where's the Subway? Mom?
There’s also a lot of “get what you give” when dealing with picky eaters as well. My mom is kind of like this cousin— very picky eater and will say things look or are gross if she isn’t interested in it. But from what I’ve observed of her and similar eaters is those comments often come after they have been given shit by others for not wanting to expand their horizons. I’ve gotten my mom to try way more foods by acknowledging that the food is different than what she has tried before, and that it’s OK if she tries it and doesn’t like it. You don’t get anywhere with “ugh, I can’t believe you won’t eat X, you are going to come all the way to Korea just to eat subway, it’s good why don’t you life it!?” You get a lot farther when you meet people where they are, such as with a “yeah, the color is definitely different than other food you have probably had. The color is from the puréed black beans in the sauce. Would you like to try it?” And if they don’t like it “no worries! More for me!”.
> But from what I’ve observed of her and similar eaters is those comments often come after they have been given shit by others for not wanting to expand their horizons.
Yup. It's a defensive front.
Like, most people simply don't understand picky eating, especially the sort that comes from various sensory issues. It's not just a matter of being timid or too 'lazy' or 'disrespectful' or whatever to try new things. My brain literally doesn't accept some things as food, and that makes them peculiarly disgusting; it would be way easier for me to eat a handful of dirt than it would be for me to eat fries with mayonnaise on them, not that I would seek out either experience.
I feel very sorry for the OP's cousin because I can imagine being in her position and it sucks. Sitting in a restaurant watching everyone enjoy eating all these things you literally can't eat, feeling physically nauseous at the sights and smells, eating bland food you don't really enjoy, being mocked and teased and judged for it, and then your fellow diners go to the internet to complain you were 'sulky' and to scoff at the fact that you needed to get something to eat afterwards.
OP has basically completely written off this girl as a human being because of this thing.
I'm a firm believer some people are just born to be picky eaters.
My niece gave birth to twins, both raised exactly the same, same foods of course, years later they're finally showing their own personalities... one will devour anything, the other one is picky.
My sister and I were raised *like* twins, we even shared a room, my mom fed us ANYTHING too, she forced us to eat everything, and you had to eat it or you can't get off the table.
My sister will try anything now, I won't.
I'm taking a big group of my students around Europe, and there's some food tours. I know many of them are picky, so I'm the teacher that's taking the picky eaters somewhere else, to find more familiar foods, ice cream, hangout, etc.
I don't think anyone should be shamed/pressured into trying stuff they're not comfortable with.
I completely agree. I think the actual issue here was the rude comments rather than the pickiness, though I could also more forgive those if the cousin is 8 vs 23 for example. I’m sort of picky by choice (raised vegetarian, started eating chicken but wouldn’t touch red meat) so I get feeling disappointed by having no/few options on a menu, but I’d never tell my eating companions that their food looks disgusting and I’d be especially aware of how that comes across as a white person in another country
There’s picky eaters and then there’s rude. Just cuz I don’t find certain things appetizing or they’re too out of my comfort zone gives me zero right to say ewww or make faces. Or sulk about going somewhere that I might not particularly like. Just find something bland on the menu and get something else if still hungry after.
Imagine being in a place like Korea and ordering Subway. If I wanted Subway, I’ll just stay in the states. It’s one thing to have a certain palate/stomach that can’t handle certain foods, it’s another thing to condescend upon jajangmyeon and spew eww. The disrespect.
I agree on the disrespect, that’s awful wherever you are. But personally I’m a very picky eater and don’t like risking it with food poisoning when abroad. I don’t travel for the food but for the experiences, hiking and adventures, and in order to to these I need a safe plate of food for a reasonable amount of money. That way I can spend less time on finding places to eat and avoid the risk of getting sick and instead enjoy the main purpose of my travels.
an ex-friend (for multiple reasons) was extremely fussy. we ordered fish at a gorgeous outdoor seaside restaurant and when she discovered it had bones, immediately stopped eating her meal.
It’s not annoying because they are picky. It’s annoying because they are rude.
I love trying different foods. To a point. I’m South East Asian, any variety of Asian food I’ll give it a go and I’ll usually like it.
But when it comes to cheeses, it’s a big no from me. I’ll still give it a go but I know I don’t like goats cheese, blue cheese any cheese that is too strong. Will I have cacio e pepe in Rome? Yes but I’ll make sure I have a back up if I don’t like it.
If you’re going to be picky, do your own research and offer up suggested places.
That's not a picky eater, that's a drama and attention whore.
I'm a picky eater. My rule is the menu needs 1 thing I am willing to eat. I don't make it about me. As long as there is one thing, I'll go. I am also willing to try new things of they are similar to something I know I like, or something that sounds like I would like it.
My wife and I literally just got back from a vacation where we ate at a different place for every meal. She found something on the menu that she knew I would eat at every place, then left it up to me to eat that or try something new.
Your picky eater is just a jerk.
I would just let her know that for dinner she will be on her own, and we can meet up later for an evening walk or something. No one is going to put a damper on my vacation dinners
Nah I would've left them to fend for themselves after the "that looks disgusting" comment. they travel to a place with a different cuisine and they hate you for it? Crazy.
THE WORST! This reminds me of the time I went to Italy with my boyfriend’s bff and his girlfriend. We’re all Asian American.
This girl would complain constantly that she wanted Asian food. The only thing she didn’t complain the whole time (just some of the time) about was steak in Florence, which was “just okay”. The best meal we had the entire trip, also my birthday, and I couldn’t enjoy it fully bc of her stank face.
I told my bf in private that we should split up for meals. But his bff “didn’t come to Italy just to eat Asian food when we live in Los Angeles ffs”. He needed us to veto her suggestions, so we had to suffer together lol.
That was when I learned that food compatibility is one of my deal breakers.
I am a picky eater. I wish I could travel to enjoy the food like everyone here, but I just don't get it. That's not why I travel and I don't like food I'm not used to.
I would not judge someone else's food tho.
I must admit I am a picky eater too. But I never sulk or be obnoxious. I actually just recently traveled around Europe with family and I try to not be a burden to those around me when it came to eating. When we all collectively chose something to eat, I would order something that sounds like I’d like, if not I’d pick something close to it. I would eat what I liked and silently not eat what I didn’t like and not make a fuss. I’m always self conscious when it comes to eating because I don’t want to be that guy. I’m always thankful for those around me that tolerate my eating even if they like to poke fun at me by telling me they don’t have dinosaur chicken nuggie lol.
The only thing almost as irritating is a giant wall of text. ;-)
Seriously though, picky eaters are indeed a pain in the ass but all you can do is ignore them. Let them order from McDonald's. Who cares.
One of my roommates when I studied abroad was the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. Basically would only eat meat and fries. He kept on wanting to come to dinner with me which is fine but would constantly complain about where I picked because he “couldn’t eat anything on the menu”. Was one of the most annoying things.
You should try travelling with a VEGAN! (Just kidding lol I love my vegan travel bud and she always finds cool spots I would not otherwise find, and she opens my mind to a better way to be!)
I was on holidays with my parents and another family, we were in the USA, the other family kept complaining for the entire time about the food. They forced us to go to an "Italian" restaurant because their kids apparently wouldn't eat anything but pasta and passata and got really upset when the sauce didn't taste like the one we make at home.
Never traveled again with them thankfully.
I was in turkey for holidays some years ago. Really nothing fancy, standard Ressort all inclusive beach tourist bunker.
But the food was nice. Buffet of local cheese, meats, unending amounts of olives, grilled vegetables, etc.
The number of children and even adults that just ate plain spaghetti every day was crazy. I just couldn't understand, you go there and you can have goat cheese, hot peppers, lamb, fancy bread but you go for: coke and plain spaghetti.
Some days we were late for dinner and feared all the good stuff was gone. Fries and spaghetti were gone, not the grilled vegetables and lamb skewers.
People are just weird.
I get not wanting to try pig's feet, but she is pretty ridiculous about it.
I'll mention that if it wasn't for her behavior, if she just ordered her plain food and didn't make a big deal out of it, I'd be judging you a little for caring so much about her palate being dull. But with her comments and restrictive effect of the trip you've definitely got reasons to be annoyed.
i went with a group of friends for the first time - i thought we'll go around europe and experience it properly
got to paris and i was looking forward to coffe and a croissant.
they all declined and we ended up at subway cause it was a menu they knew
At one point I told my travel friend. You take care of your food needs and I'll take care of mine.
Eat when you're hungry and don't let it interfere with my life. I will not suffer from your bad timing, picky food needs or locations.
LPT: it’s best to be with someone that is willing to eat similarly to yourself. It may work if both are willing to compromise, but I feel like it’s so much better when you can both truly appreciate what you’re ordering.
My spouse and I share similar palettes and spice levels, and it has made traveling and eating out such a joy.
Feel sorry for OP.
I will say that I have a friend that is a die hard vegetarian and kind of ruined one of his trips to his wife’s home country. The only vegetarian restaurants there were really for white people, and there were times where he only could have rice, or some veggies because he was so limited. (I’m not going to say he should’ve broken his diet restriction, but I do feel that you miss out on what you can have. It also makes it harder for people to work around that, especially if it’s not something that is inherent to their culture.)
I had this too in korea. My friend kept making faces and saying "ew" everywhere we went. she just wanted to eat McDonalds. I did not come all this way to eat that and she was free to go there but she did not want to eat there alone. I totally get how you feel. She was super annoying.
>For her, even jokbal (pork trotters) is too "exotic and weird"
It’s a bit of a red flag for me that you use pork trotters as an example of a dish that someone should find unremarkable. If it were a week I could understand, but for two days is it really so difficult to find somewhere with food she might recognise and be comfortable eating?
Had a similar thing happen with my aunt, except she's a cheap eater. ,(it's not like any of us were big spenders either). We were in Germany and trying to find something to eat. Touristy area and the menus were posted outside. We walked around forever trying to find some places for her. She pretended to not like anything on the menus until we found one that was cheap enough and then she found something she liked.
>but she only ate plain meat and rice because she refused to eat any of the free side dishes.
if that's what she wanted to eat, it was available to order, and you were still able to eat what you wished, what's the issue?
agreed she shouldn't comment negatively about food even if she doesn't want to eat it herself, and she should try to look up places in google maps instead. being a picky eater and choosing to eat plain things isn't the issue here, it's the latter attitude you described. you can also be annoying if you don't like when someone eats "plain meat and rice" if you can still order everything else anyway
With these kinds of people too, I find it’s always better to ask them what kind of foods they like first and then try to find some thing that’s similar to what they already like to eat to get them to open up to that particular cuisine. While it seems wild that this cousin doesn’t like Korean fried chicken, if she doesn’t like fried chicken at home either, it isn’t that surprising. It sounds also like she was eating foods at the restaurants OP chose so I really don’t see what the problem is either. I can’t get enough banchan so her not wanting hers is a plus in my book. The only thing that sounds that picky is the subway thing, but another commenter said that there is actually some Kdrama thing associated with Subway, so it may have not actually been a picky food deal. Her comments weren’t good, but that’s a rudeness issue— not pickiness.
I’m a picky eater n when I tell you it limited me as I was soo afraid to see the world because I am so picky. But 1 thing is I NEVER let it bother anyone else, Iv travelled with friends, partners etc… but mostly I travel solo and I have done group tours and home stays etc. yes I’m picky n yes I think people instantly judge when I’m in a new group.. but I atleast try something, esp at home stays, these people have went out their way to feed me and yes some things are not for me, but I try it and explain it’s not what I’m used to, I’m not horrible or ungrateful at all… I don’t want to be picky I really don’t n I think people don’t understand that ARFID is actually a thing. im getting soo much better over the years, but no matter where someone wants to eat, i will go and i will make sure they have the best meal of their lives, just because i dont want it, doesng mean that they cant.
Your cousins attitude is just not it, so sorry you have to deal with it.. my friends are foodies n usually Asia we do street food so they can have anything they want n i atleast can have a go at trying, before commiting n this has worked really well. xxx
EDIT: Actually my friends respect n understanding and likely patience 🤣.. has really made me open up to a lot more than I would of ever had before. Also if I’m not up for a certain restuarant they want, I tell them to go, I will find something else n meet them after.. it’s really not hard xx
You can be picky without sulking.
Or being horribly rude.
Yup, we have a rule, "don't yuck somebody's yum" You don't have to like it, but don't be an ass either.
This. I'm making an assumption that OP's cousin is at least a young adult/teen. If so someone needs to inform cousin that grown-ups do not make rude noises ("eww") or otherwise insult others' food choices. It's also insensitive to the host/establishment. What a drag, sorry you had to deal with this immature dolt, OP!
>You don't have to like it, but don't be an ass either. I read, "Don't be an ass eater."
Ironically, ass eaters are some of the least pickiest eaters.
Younger guy at work taught me that one a while back, never forgot it. Great rule. Not that I was ever a major offender
Exactly. The person can be picky without raining on everybody else's parade.
“Don’t harsh my vibe”
Exactly. The real problem here is not the finicky palate per se; it's the utter lack of respect for the other people eating. You just don't tell people that what they are about to enjoy is disgusting. She sounds very immature.
Yup. From like age 3 my kids have known “don’t yuck my yum.” It’s not hard.
Also if you’re the picky one then you need to find something on the menu to eat and you don’t get to pick the places. Fine you’re picky, but then figure out yourself don’t hold others back from eating what they want. It can easily be flipped; I’m picky about not eating bland boring foods or something I can easily find at home when traveling so why don’t I throw a fit if someone wants to skip a restaurant I want to go to.
I don’t love sushi but I keep quiet and eat the California rolls, and plain white rice and smile. I wouldn’t insult my friends or the restaurant hosts.
Correct. Just eat your steam white rice in peace and don't bother anyone. No one will care.
I've learned to just go to a restaurant and eat. If the person is hungry, they will order something. If they don't eat, it's on them. Done this with my brother and sister. In the end, my brother ended up loving spicy food. My sister finally like differnt type of meats.
My daughter is kinda fussy but by age 12+ she learned to be good company, order something she might like that will keep as leftovers, or at least spend $ on a drink. She’s happy to do this as long as there’s food she likes at home as a back up.
My daughter was a very picky eater as a kid (until college). We traveled all over with her and on vacations our agreement was that we would try to find something she liked but that we would not change the meals for the rest of us. Also we might encourage her to sample something, we would not hassle her and no restrictions on balanced meals. We spent 2-3 weeks in Japan and she ate plain ramen, fished out of the broth at least once most days. She didn’t complain and we figured she could get back onto a balanced diet when we got home.
Exactly! There was a time where I had to eat very plain and basic things for a while. I was down to go anywhere my friends wanted to and always found something on the menu I could have. I loved hearing about everyone else’s dishes. I would’ve told her to stay in the hotel room lol.
Exactly. I'm picky against my will (I have allergies), but I would never complain or make comments about what people are eating. I tell the restaurant staff my allergies and ask if it's possible to accommodate me and make my peace with my options. I'm just grateful to be able to eat something, even if it's not food I enjoy. I only get upset if I was told a meal was safe but it ends up having my allergens, but even so, I don't cause a scene.
Same. I've got weird enough allergies I typically just don't eat unless I know how the food was prepared and exactly what was in it, but I still go to restaurants when my friends want. I either order something I can eat or just don't eat until I get home. My closest friends know my restrictions and we'll get together at one of our houses so I can also eat but I'm not going to hold a group back just because my body decides to kill itself if I have a tree nut
Same. If I don't have safe options, I get a drink (ex. Juice) or order nothing. I'll just eat later.
Exactly. You like what you like, but saying “ew” about what someone else is eating is just rude. The cousin sounds very immature.
100%. My son is probably pickier than OP’s cousin, but he doesn’t care what other people eat. He knows he’s the one who has an unusual palate. We try to accommodate him but sometimes he just has to deal with everyone else eating while he either eats ahead of time or later. Now my wife’s food allergies are the real kick in the proverbial nuts. But that’s a story for another thread.
And that’s one of the main reasons why I love to travel solo and hate travelling with friends
I learned the hard way a while back that just because someone is a good friend when we’re home, does not mean we are travel compatible. I have a handful of friends I love, but won’t travel with because we are just too different in how we want to spend that time.
When I travel with my friends, we usually add a "free day" in our itinerary where we don't have to do stuff together. We're kind of open about the fact that when we go on trips together, we reach the point where we need a break from one another because we're mostly introverts.
That’s smart! I’m also glad you have the kind of friends that understand that and don’t take it as some kind of insult. I love my friends, but I also really need some alone time to recharge. Part of the lesson I learned on that trip was that it’s okay to do things separately. I missed out on things I wanted to do because I felt bad not waiting for them, but they obviously didn’t care and that was my own fault for not taking charge a little bit.
I have a friend that I love eating lunch or dinner with at home… but I know I’d kill her if we vacationed together.
Oh totally. Learned that the super hard way during the pandemic. Had a friend who we really loved hanging out with during the lockdown days but once we started traveling realized that we don’t get along at all. We still love to hang out on nights home but agreed we will never travel together or at least plan events together.
im glad to hear at least your friendship is intact
First trip together I didn’t think it would be. We rented an AirBnb together and agreed to leave for the trip at the same time, he was the check-in contact and ended up arriving 20 hours late “because my mom called and I lost track of time” Luckily the hosts were accommodating.
Imagine being so close with your mom you can have 20 hour conversations! 💕
Like…. The bad part of me really wanted to point out how that excuse made zero sense.
Yea unfortunately this is a lesson you tend to learn the hard way. One bad trip because you’re so travel-incompatible, but were long time friends before can cause a friendship to rapidly fall apart. Travelling with close friends seems like the funnest thing in the world. And if you are compatible, it probably is! But in the event y’all are not, it’ll suck hard.
I make it clear up front that I’m not eating at chains or eating stuff I can get at home when I travel. My wife isn’t picky per se, but she isn’t as adventurous as I am. We recently did a New England trip and I ate seafood at least once a day. She doesn’t like it but was quite fine to tag along and eat her grilled cheese or whatever limited selection of non seafood the places had. A big part of it is if you’re picky, nobody cares as long as you don’t make the trip about you and cause others to have to miss out on things.
Yes on that last point. We really only notice picky people who make a production out of it. I’m sure I’ve eaten with quiet picky eaters before and just didn’t even notice.
Yes. I am a picky eater in that I don’t eat a lot of meat. But i try to make something work wherever we go, and if it doesn’t then sure I might grab something after). Goal is never to let my pickiness come in the way of the trip!
There's lots I won't eat but I've been to like 40 countries. I can eat something anywhere.
My girlfriend’s friends came with us on a weekend trip and part of that town’s attraction is that it was originally settled by German settlers, so we went to a German restaurant. One of her friends is picky, but I wouldn’t have known. She ate her chicken fingers and said the place looked cool.
The best way to travel with friends is to have your own itinerary. “I’m doing breakfast at 8 at the bakery, these two museums in the morning, Korean bbq for lunch, walking old town followed by a nap, then dinner at tofu palace. What of that do you want to join me for?” People act like if you’re traveling together you have to spend all your time together. Nah, only if it’s fun for both
Great advice. Yeah, communicate what YOU want to do and find the common ground. Thanks for that, currently planning a trip and I'm going to make this part of my "let's get on the same page" check ins
Also the thirds rule is pretty good. They advise this for families. Spend 1/3rd of the time doing stuff you want to do, 1/3rd of the time doing stuff they want to do, and 1/3rd of the time doing stuff you *both* want to do.
This reminds me...my wife and I are 100% aligned on our travel itinerary preferences with the exception of how we treat art museums. When we go to a museum we usually separate for a little bit so she can look at portraits of dead white people and I can look at pretty colors. We know this about each other and don't fight about it.
Yup, this amongst many other reasons lol.
Oh man. I'm in Croatia with some colleagues for a work thing, and we had Döner today for lunch, because one guy doesn't eat anything but chicken and he wanted Döner. We live in Germany, the Döner land. I am just happy that they're colleagues and I don't have to travel with them again.
When I was young on a family vacation, I remember being annoyed that we were getting lunch in a mall food court with all the same old fast food we had at home, just because my sister was a picky eater and wanted McDonald's.
On the other hand if you have friends who like to try new foods too, it’s great to travel together because you can order a lot of different dishes and try them all family style.
Korea is extra fun with family style meals . Having group meals at ghettos bbq is the best.
It's all about who you travel with. I love travelling with my friends because they're all very open minded and don't have the palate or maturity of a toddler. GTFOH with that dino nugget diet.
A few years ago I moved to a resort town. We have tons of restaurants. A bit of everything. After I moved, a friend of mine visited. I knew she was a picky eater, but I didn’t realize how picky. This girl literally will eat the following things: chicken tenders/dino nuggets, French fries, PB&J or Caesar salad. She won’t even eat a burger or Mac and cheese. I had reservations at a pretty nice steakhouse. Nothing on the menu really appealed to her, so she ordered a ceasar salad with a side of fries. It was embarrassing. She stayed for TWO WEEKS! I think we probably went to Red Robin for chicken tenders ten times during that period of time. I was also in the process of getting my business off the ground, so I took as much time off as I could. She expected me to play tour guide every day, but she hadn’t done any research ahead of time about things that she wanted to see/do. I’d ask her what she felt like doing on any given day and I’d be answered with “I don’t know.” She was miserable the whole time, and was literally on her phone playing Pokémon Go when I took her anywhere. This is the same girl that took a trip to Iceland with some photography friends, and had a miserable time, because she never wanted to leave the airbnb. She survived for the entire trip on PB&J. When she visited me, it made me realize that she’s just a miserable person who does everything she can to remain miserable, and thrives on complaining. Nothing will satisfy her. I reevaluated our friendship after this, and I haven’t talked to her in about 4 years. She messaged me last spring saying that she would be in town, and I ignored it.
What’s the point of travelling somewhere if you’re not going to eat the local food? I remember Andrew Zimmern saying one thing he refuses to eat is a hamburger in China. Why? Because there’s so many incredible local delicacies throughout the country. Eating Subway on a short visit to Korea is laughable.
> What’s the point of travelling somewhere if you’re not going to eat the local food? Thats the equivalent of saying what is the point in travelling somewhere if you're not going to go on the local hiking trails, or what is the point in travelling somewhere if you're not going to hit the local clubs. You generally go places to do/experience things, but everyone has their own preferences in what they do/experience. Just because trying local food isn't someones preference doesn't mean they should just stay home and miss out all the stuff they wanted to do/experience.
Eh I used to have that attitude, but people are just different. Some people, particularly the picky eaters, the “food is fuel” crowd, and those with major food intolerances, prioritize food very low on the list. I don’t, so I either don’t travel with them or it’s well understood before the trip we are splitting up for many of the meals so everyone gets to eat what they want. Traveling pushes people out of their comfort zone, but everyone is going to have a different sense of how big a step they are willing to take at a time. Live and let live, and appreciate that those kind of people just mean that the lines for the local food hot spots are that much shorter.
I like your sympathetic view. I love travel and love food, but I have allergies so it can be rough when I'd love to just try anything and everything, but can't. I feel like it makes me come across as picky even though I'm technically down for anything!
We have friends who traveled to Las Vegas for their first time. When we suggested places to eat and asked them what would they like, they said Denny's.
At least Denny’s is unique to the U.S. if I was visiting Las Vegas, I’d definitely go for something like that. I just think it’s funny that if you had a short two day journey to another country, in this case another culture, presumably, that’d you’d want to go to Subway.
As an American I really implore you to seek out an authentic American diner before you think they all taste like fucking Denny’s. That being said I will accept Waffle House as authentic
Do you just travel to eat, or do you also enjoy the nature, architecture, history, sights, sounds, etc.? You can enjoy all of those things without caring for the food, doesn't mean you shouldn't travel.
See, I'll get a McDonald's every time I go somewhere. Because it's so familiar, the difference in items, flavours, seasoning, and overall experience can still tell you a lot about a country.
I’m actually the same way. I find localization to be fascinating, and always am curious about the local take on a global idea. I would say that I so far haven’t found anything amazing at McDonald’s but would get the McKroket in Amsterdam or the McAloo Tiki in or Maharaja Mac in India. I always stop into a supermarket in a foreign country too just to check out both the local and global brands and how they’ve adapted. And at some point I want to see Tokyo Disneyland to get a Japanese take on the theme parks.
On the other hand, when Koreans travel, they typically prefer to eat Korean food. My wife is Korean and I have a ton of Korean coworkers. When (most) coworkers/customers come from Korea, they typically want to eat Korean food. When we have family come to visit from Korea, we will eat other things but it's mostly Korean food. I was just talking to my wife today about her childhood trip to the US, where they were on a large Korean tour bus, driving across the US and Canada, and at almost every single stop the tour company took them to a Korean restaurant. Not to single out Koreans (it's just what I am most familiar with) as I've seen others do this, too. Worked at an Italian restaurant in my youth and had an Italian family on holiday trash our food in Italian, not knowing (or caring) our waitress was literally Italian and fluent. They were very rudely saying how bad the bread was compared to what they can get at home. Worked at a sushi restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona and had a Japanese tourist complain about the food and say it wasn't authentic (owners and sushi chef were all Japanese immigrants, but obviously the menu was catered to Americans.) As an American who never eats American food abroad and always tries to eat what the locals eat, I also get irritated when people come to my country and have zero interest in our food, and ashamed when I see Americans behave that way.
I'm picky bit I refuse to limit other people. I will find something g i can eat anywhere even if it is plain white rice
My husband is like that. He doesn’t judge other people’s eating habits and is polite about requesting things that a restaurant might not usually do because he’s aware that he can be kind of high maintenance about his food. But the cousin’s behavior is hella rude.
When OP mentioned pig's feet, I started to relate to the cousin (they're kind of exotic to me too), but everything else looks very easy to like and delicious. Regardless, I wouldn't bring up any negative opinions about what others are eating. It really brings down the experience of everyone else for no reason. The food that I've had in tasting events with open-minded friends is the best food I've ever had, probably because everyone was really into everything and highlighting the positives, using appetizing descriptors, etc. That's the best ambience you can have, and that's a much bigger factor than people think
Same! Also I’ll try a bite of a friend’s food if they offer it and I’m feeling brave enough, otherwise I’ll just politely say “no thanks” and keep any negative thoughts to myself. And I’d certainly never say ew if someone was enjoying a meal I didn’t think looked good
I'm autistic so can also be very picky about food. I spend a lot of time before all my trips researching restaurants and finding ones that will have food that I feel safe eating. I'll literally have dozens of restaurants listed in a note with my menu item written next to it. If I'm going someplace that has food very different from what I'm used to, I'll also do a lot of research to see what local dishes are similar to what I eat at home. I'll then go to a local restaurant to try that food before my trip starts to see if I feel safe eating it. Finally, I always travel with a lot of my favorite snacks just in case. This may seem like a lot for some people and I can see how this may kill the spontaneity that most people long for when they travel, but doing all these things makes travel so much more enjoyable for myself and whoever I'm with. The point is, I'm a picky eater too but I own that and plan ahead.
I give you a lot of credit for doing this! I admire your resourcefulness.
My son has autism and is very picky. We travel very well together because he can always find something very plain to eat. As someone said there's always rice. Also. I taught him not to be rude about what other people are eating.
> If I'm going someplace that has food very different from what I'm used to, I'll also do a lot of research to see what local dishes are similar to what I eat at home. I'll then go to a local restaurant to try that food before my trip starts to see if I feel safe eating it. This is so autistic I love it <3
One of the reasons I was diagnosed so late in life with autism is that I never had problems with food. A loud contingent of autistic people insist it’s impossible for people with autism to eat anything besides chicken nuggets.
Haha I eat a lot more than chicken nuggets too. I'm definitely not as restrictive as many autistic people and was also diagnosed later in life. More than anything, I get stressed about unknowns. So the more I can plan ahead, the more I enjoy the trip.
This! I am a selective eater but I would NEVER let my preferences get in the way of someone else’s, at home or while traveling. I’d be far too embarrassed.
You have a right to enjoy your food. You do not always have to appease the other person. 50/50 selecting restaurants is the way to go.
I’m a really picky eater too and I have the same rule. What I’ve noticed for myself though is that it’s entirely psychological. I like to travel and when I leave the country I’ll eat whatever is put in front of me because I don’t want to offend anyone. A lot of my friends are first generation Americans and if their parents offer me food, I eat it so I don’t offend them. But anyone else or anywhere else? I don’t want it lol Also I’ve gotten really annoyed with my eating patterns because I’m limited to the same things over and over again. I try to eat small things off my boyfriend’s plate who is an intense foodie. I’ve also started cooking too. I’ve found for me that if I can see everything that goes into it and taste everything, I feel better about it. Taking the psychological piece out, I’ve learned that there are only two things (so far) that I rreaaaaalllly don’t like. Yogurt and peas. Ugh. Edited to add: all my picky adult eaters should check out what ARFID is and see if it resonates with you. That’s what I have and I’m working on it.
I grew up a very picky eater too! Literally would only eat white rice + some type of stew/soup if im not familiar with the food served in front of me. I tend to prejudice food on how they look like or how they smell. I used to sniff food before deciding if i'm gonna try it 😅 But i'm the same with you, i never disrespect someone if they offer me food, esp the elders! Then i remember very vividly, this started 2017 when i got hooked to korean music and their culture, i knew i had to try their food too— and a lot of them being fermented, obvs they won't smell very nice. But maaaan do they taste good, oh lord! Went to Seoul for my first ever solo trip and absolutely loooved their food. From there on, i never stopped trying new dishes! 😂 I was glad to be able to work on my eating preferences. There's still certain things i wouldnt have (eg pudding) bec of the texture. I have adhd so no matter how hard i try, it just doesnt work on some lol
Aww! I love that you found a way to combat the picky eating and you keep trying new dishes!!! I want to visit a few Asian countries but I’m aware I don’t have the palette yet to fully enjoy it. Luckily I live in an area with a large Asian population so I’ve been trying things slowly 😊
Yes, thank you! I think it's also bec my palette shifted as i became an adult so that definitely helped! I used to not eat anything spicy (even the ones BARELY spiced lol) and now i feel sad without a bit of heat. 😂 Def toned down on sweets now too, i cant even finish a pint of ice cream anymore. Lol. That's really great to hear about your progress too! Love taking things slowly just so it wouldnt feel at all that youre pressuring yourself to take in new things. Also, it's better to enjoy them gradually. Hope you'll find more Asian foods to like!! 😍😍
My partner hates spending a lot of money and then being disappointed in the meal. So he likes to eat familiar food on vacations. I love gambling with money on food abroad. We often eat separate, or alternate.
This is so wild to me, unless you’re talking about a resort-type vacation. I feel like experiencing the local food of wherever you’re visiting is such a huge part of the experience.
It also depends on if your stomach can take the adventure. Some of us have adventurous palettes, but weak stomachs.
Good friend of mine that loves to travel got diagnosed with celiac when she was in her late 20s. She feels so much better now eating GF, but that also means that any food mixup or cross contamination she gets majorly messes her system up for the rest of the day and some of the following day. When you are only in a spot for a week, spending 30% of the week in bed or the WC is not ideal.
Yes, I love all food my stomach unfortunately only likes 10% if it so I either suck it up and spend the rest of the trip in the bathroom or I’m a PITA and eat stuff I know won’t upset. I hate it. Usually I’ll eat before we go out so friends can eat wherever they want and I’ll just have a fizzy water.
Guess everyone just has different travel priorities. Me, I want to see nature, specifically birds which is what I plan my trips around but I like it all. Food for me is just another required thing like sleep and hygiene, something I have to deal with in order to continue the fun parts of the trip. Most of my trips start with a supermarket visit to stock up on whatever cheap and portable food is available, so I can have more time and money doing what I enjoy instead of searching for restaurants and paying more. I'll happily eat cold canned ravioli if I get to do it at a scenic wild location. My GF really enjoys the food as a main part of travel though, so when we travel together she picks the restaurants, covers the meals, and gets to order 2 different dishes to try since I usually don't care what I eat and will just finish whatever she doesn't. And if I don't like it, I always have my emergency ravioli can. In turn I handle the logistics and entry fees to places I want to go. Just have to be a little flexible, and you can turn seemingly contrasting interests into a benefit for both sides.
I like that the cold canned ravioli started out as a hyperbolic way to make the point that you have and extremely utilitarian view of eating, but in the end it turned out that you literally eat that somewhat regularly.
Ugh totally, my dad keeps doing this everytime he goes on vacation and being disappointed by the food... It seems obvious that you're not going to get lucky with restaurants if you don't eat the local specialties and you always go for the most bland generic American-style food on the menu!
My experience is that you can’t go wrong with grilled meat and every culture has their own.
Some people care more about food than others. I personally couldn't care less what I eat while traveling, I'm fine eating the same simple meal every day.
Yepp food is fuel I get no enjoyment from trying new food, time and money better spent on other things in a new country.
I absolutely relish looking at menu in a language I don't know, picking a random dish, and seeing what comes.
This would be my worst nightmare lmao
Annoyingly I have an allergy so I can’t be this free. But I read menus beforehand and pick out restaurants/dishes I want to try.
This is why I love little cheap restaurants, diners, or street food. You can try a ton of stuff without breaking the bank
My philosophy on food is you just try the shitty stuff to know what’s good. I eat anything and everything and sometimes the not so highly rated is rated as good as the highly rated places but. Cause the service or ambience isn’t as good they get a lower rating. Good thing I don’t care about those things. I’ve also tried horrible things too to appreciate the good stuff lol
Married to an extremely picky eater. Like a lot of things about marriage, there's compromise. Part of my responsibility as a partner is to make sure my partner is happy on vacation. And in her case she literally can not, will not eat anything new. I just try to find local options that have something on the menu she'll eat, or craft the vacation in such a way that she won't be hungry (ex. Having snacks, cooking for ourselves when possible), and I find my opportunities to be exploratory with food.
People can have food aversions for a lot of reasons. I have always figured it out for myself or didn't eat. It's amazing how often that isn't acceptable for people. I'm sure your partner can relate.
That sounds like pure hell
It's not for me, and I'm sure the description I've given isn't charitable enough. My partner compromises on their end when need be, it's definitely a mutual understanding. But I'd rather them be happy on vacation if I can make it happen at all
Thank you for actually being a considerate spouse. It’s kind of upsetting the number of people who, because they are open-minded eaters without any food intolerances, think that it’s totally fine to walk into a trip, eyes wide open, fully knowing their companion has a more limited palate and yet be completely uncompromising in eating what they want for every meal while their companion eats a bowl of rice or whatever they can find on the menu. It’s the limited eater’s trip too, and adventurous eaters can be just as rude and selfish as limited ones.
Reddit at it's finest. Redittors will tell people to get a divorce because of the slightest inconvenience. In reality, relationships consist of countless compromises, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree. Just last week I was downvoted on this very sub after daring to criticise one redditors comment that OP should better break up with their partner… The issue was that the partner was a bit of a homebody that did not want to travel often. Sure, that is annoying and definitely a relationship challenge, but I would never tell someone to break up over that. Especially if the relationship is fine otherwise. Compromising is key. If you can‘t do that, you are not ready for a serious relationship.
I appreciate the support, and echo your sentiment. Josh Scherer of Mythical Kitchen made a really good point on a podcast one time along these lines about a girl he was dating who said she really liked sushi. So he took her to a fine dining sushi spot, chef-led omakase (sp) menu, and she didn't really enjoy it. Turns out she just likes basic sushi as most people know (spicy tuna, California, etc). He said that was selfish on his part to not consider her perspective and assume that she would like this experience. Just like it's easy to assume a limited eater has a limited experience just because they don't eat the food. They don't have a limited one, just a different one.
Doesn't really sound like the issue is a picky eater, the issue is you are with someone rude. I am quite picky myself but this just feels like narrow-mindedness borderline xenophobia to be honest.
Yes. I was wondering if she even wanted to be on this trip? Also wondered about her age; is she a teenager?
Seems like it. I’m a picky eater myself and would never behave this way.
I was just talking with my dad about this a few minutes ago. I’ve been on a “year abroad” program since August and only grew out of my picky eating habits about a year prior. The many travel experiences I’ve had this past year would’ve been so different and so much less special if I were still picky. I’m incredibly thankful to have grown out of it
How old are you ? If you don’t mind me asking? I’d love to come out my own picky eating phase asap!
I'm not the person you replied to, but here's my tips from someone who started to grow out of their picky eating phase when I was 21. 1. Put yourself in situations where you'll be embarrassed to be picky. For me, I lived with a host family for a semester, and I was terrified of offending them + knew it would be insane to expect them to cook the things I was used to eating. That's an extreme example, but maybe go to a restaurant with coworkers that doesn't serve what you normally eat, something like that. 2. Distract yourself while eating. If you're out with friends or family and are involved in the conversation, it may be easier to quickly put a bite in your mouth and swallow without thinking too hard. 3. Don't expect to like things the first time you try them. I know that the first time I try something very new to my palate, I'm probably not going to be able to appreciate it. I have to get used to it first by exposing myself to it multiple times, so I'm prepared to just grin and bear it. A big part of it is really just using my other neuroses to combat the picky eating! Too afraid of embarrassing myself to be not eat what's served to me. Too anxious about wasting money to waste the meal I ordered. Obviously there's no cure-all that will work for everyone, but these things helped me! I'm still not a perfectly adventurous eater, but I'm MILES better than I ever was. It's funny, I can eat sheep brains but mayonnaise is still unbearable.
Would like to expand on this to include another tip, pay attention to friends that eat a lot of different foods/cuisines but that seem to have high standards. Essentially choose which friends you would trust if they told you to try something.
same over here - once you travelled enough you will have to eat things you may didn‘t like before :)
how come your less picky now?
Not her but me and my brother were both picky eaters as kids and will now eat anything. What my mom started with was “You only have to try it, one bite.” And if we didn’t like it it was no issue. That gradually morphed to a more expansive pallet. In OP’s case, her cousin really should have had “one bite” of every side dish, even if it was just one tiny seaweed leaf, or a little taste of the sauce by just dipping her spoon in it, and if she kinda liked it try a more substantial nugget. You don’t have to force yourself just be open to tasting new things.
This was always my mom's rule as a child. I had to try one bite and if I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it. Even then, I was pretty picky until we traveled abroad extensively in my elementary years. A lot of it is just exposure to different tastes and textures.
I used a try it 10 times (bite, chew for 5-6 seconds then you could spit it out) rule. Theyd make a game out of it, like- no! I'm ony 9th bite of mushrooms, and I like now! Or, this is my 10th bite and I'm never eating shrimp again! So for idk let's say sauce covered chicken breast like chicken Parm, as opposed to chicken nuggets, you'd have to take a bite and chew it for five seconds. Then you could spit it in a napkin. No big deal from us except a "glad you tried it." I never did restaurant style either you ate what was fixed or could have a bedtime snack of cereal or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Some nights you won and it was dinosaur chicken nuggets, stegosaurus trees ( broccoli) and Kraft dinner and sometimes the grown ups won and it was french style salmon with lentils and with salad and a baguette. Nobody went hungry, they developed etiquette on how to deal with food they didn't like on their plate and most of the kids turned out to like salmon and mushrooms.
This was similar to my house! You had to try it twice, the first bite is to purely allow your taste buds to adjust. Me Mam liked to remind me that my tastes will change with age and to try foods I didn't like every now and then. Now I'm hooked on random things that I legit disliked as a kid (Humous, is the most recent one).
>I had to try one bite and if I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it. that's a great rule that doesn't pressure one into liking or reacting in disgust. i have some very hard lines food-wise (though others may think it's weird i love crustacean guts yet hate bananas), but trying something is always like, "well, what am i out, 5 minutes or 10 bucks or so? just dump it and get something else." you don't have to accept or enjoy everything, but it's good to throw the feelers out there. there's no obligation to commit.
We do that with our kids. One bite, you don’t even have to swallow it just taste it. The oddest things have been wolfed down, and some innocuous things have been rejected. Fine with me, but since doing that we’ve gone from a very limited menu at home to them giving pretty much anything a go.
Same here…ALWAYS try a bite. Even if I have had the food many times..if it is offered or on the table I always taste. I find some flavors can grow on me. Or I simply decide it’s not for me, but I never turn down a bite. Same for my bonus kid…1 bite he knows the rules 😉He will eat just about anything now!
Same in our house with my now adult daughter. The expensive down side of it was that she discovered that she loved lobster 🤣
It happened to me about high school to college age. I think adults typically have more accepting pallets. And I think that continues to expand a bit into your 30s.
Also not the person you're asking, but for me it was studying abroad. I didn't have the luxury of eating what made me comfortable because I was being served food by my host family. I didn't want to offend them. A lot of the dinners early in my time abroad ended with me later that night secretly going to McDonald's or something, but over time that lessened and my palate expanded. By the time the semester was over, I was eating things I'd never have eaten before - sardines on toast, cold octopus tentacle with olive oil, rabbit, etc. Since then I've gotten even more comfortable trying new things. I'm not sure that would have happened if I'd never studied abroad. A huge part of becoming less picky is accepting that you won't like everything you try the first time. Unfamiliar flavors frequently don't taste "good" to you. But if you change your mindset away from "I like/dislike this food" to "this flavor is new, let's see how it goes" that's a huge step. You might find that if you try something a few times, you develop a taste for it, and you actually go from disliking something to craving it.
I am not picky at all and love travelling. I grew up with a brother who was a massively picky eater and he'd have struggled to eat 90% of the stuff I've had in some countries, its just such a different experience. I think its so good just to be able to adapt and try things.
Your cousins issue is that she’s rude about it. Last year I went to Japan with family with a relative who’s a very picky eater. They would (reluctantly) attempt to try something new but politely decline if it isn’t palatable to them. I pinned common fastfood places on google maps for them, they’d go grab something, and then rejoin us. Having manners is not hard.
Exactly this. Most of my family are very picky. Even my mom makes disgusted noises if you dare to eat, say, broccoli near her. It takes the fun right out of going to a restaurant, to have people acting like it's cute to make faces and saw "eww" about what you're going to eat.
jajangmyeon is basically Korean spaghetti bolognese. How could that possibly be too exotic for her?
She should have just ordered Korean fried rice. Which is the best fried rice imo!
It's probably the sauce. To some, jjajangmyeon is "gross" just bec it's black in colour... what a sad way to live lol
The first time I was served this, it was ice cold and therefore very unappealing. I went 10 years thinking Korean food just wasn't my thing
Happened to me with shitty kimchi i've had yeaaars ago. Place wasn't authentic at all, so idk what kimchi that was lmao but totally ruined korean food for me. Thank god i tried it again after so many years!
I'm going for dinner. I'll meet up with you guys again in 2 hours. byeee!
I travelled to eight countries with a tv crew and an 11 year old host. So much KFC.
What show has an 11 year old host travelling 8 countries? I am intrigued
Idk if the OP was literal or it's an insinuation that they traveled with the family and everyone killed the enjoyment of soaking the experience by wanting to record every single thing (with multiple takes for those to be perfectly Instagrammable) and there's an 8yo in the family who refused to try cultural foods but insisted to exist purely on KFC at all times.
Richard Hammond on Top Gear.
I’ve tried fast food places in new countries and each tastes different. The KFC in Jamaica tastes soooo much better than it does in the US. Plus the menus vary country to country. Idk, it’s enjoyable to me.
I feel you OP. I was in a group trip China with someone who refused to eat: chicken, pork, anything with broth, anything steamed, and anything served with a body part she doesn't normally see (so she'd eat fish, but not if the whole fish was served to the table). She ate these things in America, (except the "whole animal" bit), so it wasn't the food she had a problem with. She was just a borderline xenophobe who thought the Chinese were too dirty to be trusted. It didn't "ruin" my trip, but it's embarrassing to be associated with someone being disrespectful to the host country. It's obnoxious to call another culture's food "dirty" or "disgusting." It's one thing if you can keep it to yourself or are self aware enough to know you have food aversions outside the norm, but your travel partner sounds like mine: a terrible poker face and a judgemental attitude.
Bruh why did she come 💀
Probably insane levels of FOMO, I had a similar friend who was so desperate to travel with us after highschool, but his parents required that one of them come along with a bunch of teenagers, and that we also couldn’t go far away from our hometowns. It became such a hastle that we ended up canceling it because he refused to drop out but also refused to compromise at all with our plans and it just got way too late.
Your first sentence was my first thought. I have a friend like this who says no every time he is invited to a certain location that I and family/friends frequent. We stopped inviting him and he got mad and felt left out
I'm a somewhat picky eater and have an adventurous foodie husband. It's not uncommon for us to eat at different restaurants and reconnect after. Meals don't take that long. We also will still chat via text and send pics of what we ordered to each other.
We're a food adventurous couple and we often vacation abroad with another couple that prefers mostly chicken nuggets. We eat the breakfast buffet together at the hotel, kind of snack for lunch, and go our separate ways for dinner. The next day we can talk about our food adventures + hear about the chicken they ate. (They actually found a killer wings place in the Old Fishmarket Close in Edinburgh that we all went back to!)
At some point people have to be held responsible for their own experience. You shouldn’t have entertained hanging out with people who don’t care about your feelings and want you to do only what they want. It’s as simple as saying “oh you don’t want to eat here? I understand. We can meet up later somewhere else and sightsee”
This! OP is complicit in the song and dance and let it ruin their time.
The problem is not that she's a picky eater, it's that she acts like a four year old about it. Source: I'm a picky eater, but do not inconvenience other people because of it.
exactly! nothing wrong with finding some foods (even cuisines) unnappealling (you would hope they at least try them though). But you dont go around making faces and comments about what other people are eating. Just shut up, eat your rice and smile
Spoiler: The cousin is 4 and OP is the AH. Haha
Picky eating isn't the issue here. It's a personality issue with OP's cousin
Thats unacceptable unless they are younger than like, 15, u should have your aunt scold them for that
How rude. If she really hated the Korean place and wanted Subway, she could have gone to Subway and you could have met her there after you'd finished eating Korean. Travelers don't have to do everything together.
It's easy to travel with a picky eater. Let them be. They can have their crackers, or rice, or gray boiled meat. They'd just better not expect me to eat the same way - I travel for food...
You are not petty. Traveling with people who complain things are not the same as they are back home is the worst. Those people should just stay home. What country is your cousin from?
Just wondering but how old is your cousin and does your aunt just stay quiet the entire time? Good thing it was only for 2 days! Now you can go enjoy all the Korean food you want! Good on you for being patient though, I definitely would have just broke earlier and reprimanded your cousin for being a picky little shit and stopped catering to her tastes. I understand there are certain foods that people just cant handle, but things like this >And at some point even said something along the lines of "that looks disgusting" "you really like that?" ... where someone is insulting a cuisine is pretty out of line in my opinion.
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Not to mention that not wanting to eat dakgalbi because it looks spicy is a perfectly valid reason, because the standard version does have spice. If you grew up not eating much spicy food and you aren’t well versed in the different types, what you get will probably be at least a little spicy to you. It’s also a meal that’s served to the table, so I don’t know why anyone would want to go there if their dining companions weren’t as enthusiastic about it as they are. I lived in Korea for 2 years and if jokbal, jjajangmyeon, KBBQ and dakgalbi are the highlights of your trip, you don’t strike me as a very adventurous eater. They’re great and popular for a reason, but they’re a dime a dozen and there are better things to try on a repeat visit (not to mention stuff that a picky eater would probably be more open to).
There is a lot of hard “I am such a good traveler” to OP’s post.
Yep. Also, if I am the cousin and OP suggested I eat something looked like pork tenderloin but was really pig's feet, I might not trust any future suggestions from OP. The conversation may have gone something like this: OP: Try This. It's just pork. Delicious. Cousin: Just pork? OP: Well, pigs' feet. Same thing. Cousin: Dude, I told you I'm not into that. I just want a sandwich or some soup dumplings. OP: You are uncultured and impossible. I'm going to order noodles in a jet black funk-flavored sauce. I think they have *dumplings* here. \*scoffs\* Cousin: Dude, please don't try to trick me into eating tripe dumplings. Those are tripe dumplings. Where's the Subway? Mom?
There’s also a lot of “get what you give” when dealing with picky eaters as well. My mom is kind of like this cousin— very picky eater and will say things look or are gross if she isn’t interested in it. But from what I’ve observed of her and similar eaters is those comments often come after they have been given shit by others for not wanting to expand their horizons. I’ve gotten my mom to try way more foods by acknowledging that the food is different than what she has tried before, and that it’s OK if she tries it and doesn’t like it. You don’t get anywhere with “ugh, I can’t believe you won’t eat X, you are going to come all the way to Korea just to eat subway, it’s good why don’t you life it!?” You get a lot farther when you meet people where they are, such as with a “yeah, the color is definitely different than other food you have probably had. The color is from the puréed black beans in the sauce. Would you like to try it?” And if they don’t like it “no worries! More for me!”.
> But from what I’ve observed of her and similar eaters is those comments often come after they have been given shit by others for not wanting to expand their horizons. Yup. It's a defensive front. Like, most people simply don't understand picky eating, especially the sort that comes from various sensory issues. It's not just a matter of being timid or too 'lazy' or 'disrespectful' or whatever to try new things. My brain literally doesn't accept some things as food, and that makes them peculiarly disgusting; it would be way easier for me to eat a handful of dirt than it would be for me to eat fries with mayonnaise on them, not that I would seek out either experience. I feel very sorry for the OP's cousin because I can imagine being in her position and it sucks. Sitting in a restaurant watching everyone enjoy eating all these things you literally can't eat, feeling physically nauseous at the sights and smells, eating bland food you don't really enjoy, being mocked and teased and judged for it, and then your fellow diners go to the internet to complain you were 'sulky' and to scoff at the fact that you needed to get something to eat afterwards. OP has basically completely written off this girl as a human being because of this thing.
I'm a firm believer some people are just born to be picky eaters. My niece gave birth to twins, both raised exactly the same, same foods of course, years later they're finally showing their own personalities... one will devour anything, the other one is picky. My sister and I were raised *like* twins, we even shared a room, my mom fed us ANYTHING too, she forced us to eat everything, and you had to eat it or you can't get off the table. My sister will try anything now, I won't. I'm taking a big group of my students around Europe, and there's some food tours. I know many of them are picky, so I'm the teacher that's taking the picky eaters somewhere else, to find more familiar foods, ice cream, hangout, etc. I don't think anyone should be shamed/pressured into trying stuff they're not comfortable with.
I completely agree. I think the actual issue here was the rude comments rather than the pickiness, though I could also more forgive those if the cousin is 8 vs 23 for example. I’m sort of picky by choice (raised vegetarian, started eating chicken but wouldn’t touch red meat) so I get feeling disappointed by having no/few options on a menu, but I’d never tell my eating companions that their food looks disgusting and I’d be especially aware of how that comes across as a white person in another country
There’s picky eaters and then there’s rude. Just cuz I don’t find certain things appetizing or they’re too out of my comfort zone gives me zero right to say ewww or make faces. Or sulk about going somewhere that I might not particularly like. Just find something bland on the menu and get something else if still hungry after.
Imagine being in a place like Korea and ordering Subway. If I wanted Subway, I’ll just stay in the states. It’s one thing to have a certain palate/stomach that can’t handle certain foods, it’s another thing to condescend upon jajangmyeon and spew eww. The disrespect.
I agree on the disrespect, that’s awful wherever you are. But personally I’m a very picky eater and don’t like risking it with food poisoning when abroad. I don’t travel for the food but for the experiences, hiking and adventures, and in order to to these I need a safe plate of food for a reasonable amount of money. That way I can spend less time on finding places to eat and avoid the risk of getting sick and instead enjoy the main purpose of my travels.
an ex-friend (for multiple reasons) was extremely fussy. we ordered fish at a gorgeous outdoor seaside restaurant and when she discovered it had bones, immediately stopped eating her meal.
It’s not annoying because they are picky. It’s annoying because they are rude. I love trying different foods. To a point. I’m South East Asian, any variety of Asian food I’ll give it a go and I’ll usually like it. But when it comes to cheeses, it’s a big no from me. I’ll still give it a go but I know I don’t like goats cheese, blue cheese any cheese that is too strong. Will I have cacio e pepe in Rome? Yes but I’ll make sure I have a back up if I don’t like it. If you’re going to be picky, do your own research and offer up suggested places.
That's not a picky eater, that's a drama and attention whore. I'm a picky eater. My rule is the menu needs 1 thing I am willing to eat. I don't make it about me. As long as there is one thing, I'll go. I am also willing to try new things of they are similar to something I know I like, or something that sounds like I would like it. My wife and I literally just got back from a vacation where we ate at a different place for every meal. She found something on the menu that she knew I would eat at every place, then left it up to me to eat that or try something new. Your picky eater is just a jerk.
I would just let her know that for dinner she will be on her own, and we can meet up later for an evening walk or something. No one is going to put a damper on my vacation dinners
Nah I would've left them to fend for themselves after the "that looks disgusting" comment. they travel to a place with a different cuisine and they hate you for it? Crazy.
THE WORST! This reminds me of the time I went to Italy with my boyfriend’s bff and his girlfriend. We’re all Asian American. This girl would complain constantly that she wanted Asian food. The only thing she didn’t complain the whole time (just some of the time) about was steak in Florence, which was “just okay”. The best meal we had the entire trip, also my birthday, and I couldn’t enjoy it fully bc of her stank face. I told my bf in private that we should split up for meals. But his bff “didn’t come to Italy just to eat Asian food when we live in Los Angeles ffs”. He needed us to veto her suggestions, so we had to suffer together lol. That was when I learned that food compatibility is one of my deal breakers.
Been there. Done that. High 5. Would never do that again. Picky eaters are the bane of my existence.
I am a picky eater. I wish I could travel to enjoy the food like everyone here, but I just don't get it. That's not why I travel and I don't like food I'm not used to. I would not judge someone else's food tho.
Go where you want, eat what you want. She refuses to go the restaurant? Well, that's on her. Shouldn't stop you.
I must admit I am a picky eater too. But I never sulk or be obnoxious. I actually just recently traveled around Europe with family and I try to not be a burden to those around me when it came to eating. When we all collectively chose something to eat, I would order something that sounds like I’d like, if not I’d pick something close to it. I would eat what I liked and silently not eat what I didn’t like and not make a fuss. I’m always self conscious when it comes to eating because I don’t want to be that guy. I’m always thankful for those around me that tolerate my eating even if they like to poke fun at me by telling me they don’t have dinosaur chicken nuggie lol.
The only thing almost as irritating is a giant wall of text. ;-) Seriously though, picky eaters are indeed a pain in the ass but all you can do is ignore them. Let them order from McDonald's. Who cares.
One of my roommates when I studied abroad was the pickiest eater I’ve ever met. Basically would only eat meat and fries. He kept on wanting to come to dinner with me which is fine but would constantly complain about where I picked because he “couldn’t eat anything on the menu”. Was one of the most annoying things.
Tell em to either eat or don't, but it's not your problem
You should try travelling with a VEGAN! (Just kidding lol I love my vegan travel bud and she always finds cool spots I would not otherwise find, and she opens my mind to a better way to be!)
I was on holidays with my parents and another family, we were in the USA, the other family kept complaining for the entire time about the food. They forced us to go to an "Italian" restaurant because their kids apparently wouldn't eat anything but pasta and passata and got really upset when the sauce didn't taste like the one we make at home. Never traveled again with them thankfully.
I was in turkey for holidays some years ago. Really nothing fancy, standard Ressort all inclusive beach tourist bunker. But the food was nice. Buffet of local cheese, meats, unending amounts of olives, grilled vegetables, etc. The number of children and even adults that just ate plain spaghetti every day was crazy. I just couldn't understand, you go there and you can have goat cheese, hot peppers, lamb, fancy bread but you go for: coke and plain spaghetti. Some days we were late for dinner and feared all the good stuff was gone. Fries and spaghetti were gone, not the grilled vegetables and lamb skewers. People are just weird.
I get not wanting to try pig's feet, but she is pretty ridiculous about it. I'll mention that if it wasn't for her behavior, if she just ordered her plain food and didn't make a big deal out of it, I'd be judging you a little for caring so much about her palate being dull. But with her comments and restrictive effect of the trip you've definitely got reasons to be annoyed.
i went with a group of friends for the first time - i thought we'll go around europe and experience it properly got to paris and i was looking forward to coffe and a croissant. they all declined and we ended up at subway cause it was a menu they knew
You can dislike something & not be a jerk about it 😅 Glad you only had to deal with her for a couple of days
At one point I told my travel friend. You take care of your food needs and I'll take care of mine. Eat when you're hungry and don't let it interfere with my life. I will not suffer from your bad timing, picky food needs or locations.
Right now i’m vacation with some family for the first time and i am experiencing the same thing😭
There is McDonalds in most countries now. Why not just send her there for a Happy Meal 😂
What an awful spoiled little brat. This is beyond pickiness. She should be taught some manners. Isn't your aunt embarrassed of her behavior?
LPT: it’s best to be with someone that is willing to eat similarly to yourself. It may work if both are willing to compromise, but I feel like it’s so much better when you can both truly appreciate what you’re ordering. My spouse and I share similar palettes and spice levels, and it has made traveling and eating out such a joy. Feel sorry for OP. I will say that I have a friend that is a die hard vegetarian and kind of ruined one of his trips to his wife’s home country. The only vegetarian restaurants there were really for white people, and there were times where he only could have rice, or some veggies because he was so limited. (I’m not going to say he should’ve broken his diet restriction, but I do feel that you miss out on what you can have. It also makes it harder for people to work around that, especially if it’s not something that is inherent to their culture.)
I had this too in korea. My friend kept making faces and saying "ew" everywhere we went. she just wanted to eat McDonalds. I did not come all this way to eat that and she was free to go there but she did not want to eat there alone. I totally get how you feel. She was super annoying.
>For her, even jokbal (pork trotters) is too "exotic and weird" It’s a bit of a red flag for me that you use pork trotters as an example of a dish that someone should find unremarkable. If it were a week I could understand, but for two days is it really so difficult to find somewhere with food she might recognise and be comfortable eating?
Had a similar thing happen with my aunt, except she's a cheap eater. ,(it's not like any of us were big spenders either). We were in Germany and trying to find something to eat. Touristy area and the menus were posted outside. We walked around forever trying to find some places for her. She pretended to not like anything on the menus until we found one that was cheap enough and then she found something she liked.
Reason #297 why solo travel is the 🐐
Solo travel is fun. But traveling with people is also awesome if you don’t have lame ass family and friends.
>but she only ate plain meat and rice because she refused to eat any of the free side dishes. if that's what she wanted to eat, it was available to order, and you were still able to eat what you wished, what's the issue? agreed she shouldn't comment negatively about food even if she doesn't want to eat it herself, and she should try to look up places in google maps instead. being a picky eater and choosing to eat plain things isn't the issue here, it's the latter attitude you described. you can also be annoying if you don't like when someone eats "plain meat and rice" if you can still order everything else anyway
With these kinds of people too, I find it’s always better to ask them what kind of foods they like first and then try to find some thing that’s similar to what they already like to eat to get them to open up to that particular cuisine. While it seems wild that this cousin doesn’t like Korean fried chicken, if she doesn’t like fried chicken at home either, it isn’t that surprising. It sounds also like she was eating foods at the restaurants OP chose so I really don’t see what the problem is either. I can’t get enough banchan so her not wanting hers is a plus in my book. The only thing that sounds that picky is the subway thing, but another commenter said that there is actually some Kdrama thing associated with Subway, so it may have not actually been a picky food deal. Her comments weren’t good, but that’s a rudeness issue— not pickiness.
This makes you sound petty because it is. Eat what you want, ignore her. It is two days.
The older I get the less patience I have for all that.
I’m a picky eater n when I tell you it limited me as I was soo afraid to see the world because I am so picky. But 1 thing is I NEVER let it bother anyone else, Iv travelled with friends, partners etc… but mostly I travel solo and I have done group tours and home stays etc. yes I’m picky n yes I think people instantly judge when I’m in a new group.. but I atleast try something, esp at home stays, these people have went out their way to feed me and yes some things are not for me, but I try it and explain it’s not what I’m used to, I’m not horrible or ungrateful at all… I don’t want to be picky I really don’t n I think people don’t understand that ARFID is actually a thing. im getting soo much better over the years, but no matter where someone wants to eat, i will go and i will make sure they have the best meal of their lives, just because i dont want it, doesng mean that they cant. Your cousins attitude is just not it, so sorry you have to deal with it.. my friends are foodies n usually Asia we do street food so they can have anything they want n i atleast can have a go at trying, before commiting n this has worked really well. xxx EDIT: Actually my friends respect n understanding and likely patience 🤣.. has really made me open up to a lot more than I would of ever had before. Also if I’m not up for a certain restuarant they want, I tell them to go, I will find something else n meet them after.. it’s really not hard xx