Haha, this make me laugh. I was in the USSR in 1991 for 3 weeks, saw many intriguing things, met some wonderful people and had some incredible cultural experiences. Upon my return to the United States, my father picked me up at the airport, asked me if I had a good trip. I said yes, began to expand but he cut me off to tell me how cold it had been in Ohio and what he had for lunch earlier in the day.
My husband and I went to Greece last year. So many people asked us how it was, and before we were finished with even one memory, they jumped in to tell us about the time they went \[whereever -- fill in the blank\]. Our neighbors even invited us over to "hear all about" our trip. We said one thing. But we heard quite a bit about their trip five years ago to Scotland.
I had a “friend” who did this. She viewed herself as some kind of Travel Expert. She pretty much asked how my trip was just to shit on my experiences and launch into what *she* did when she went there. I got sick of it and blocked her on my SM.
I've said this for years: no one wants to hear about your travels. No one cares. People hate me for saying it, and I always catch heat for it, but it's true.
The only exception is people you traveled with talking about the places you traveled to with them. That's it. Which is why, after years of traveling solo, I now strongly prefer to go with people. Otherwise I can never really talk about the adventures and the memories with anyone.
EDIT: I forgot how literally Reddit takes any statement that implies absolutes. Obviously I'm not out here saying that literally no one in the known universe of all of humanity has ever cared about someone else's travels people. There are obviously exceptions to every rule, and I don't need every instance of these exceptions popping up in my inbox. I was generalizing.
I agree for the most part, except I genuinely care about other peoples trips. I ask so many questions they started to get almost weirded out lol. I try living through trip in my own kind and have second hand enjoyment
Another exception is when they’re planning a trip to the same place. Then they’re all ears.
I started just sharing my gmaps favorites with folks for this exact reason. Then if they want to hear more, they’ll ask. Less frustrating and helps me not feel like I’m “selling” them on a particular experience when I’m really doing them a favor.
I largely agree with this sentiment but there are some people who love travel stories. I grew up hearing the wild shit my mom got into traveling and I love hearing them. A couple of my friends who enjoy traveling bombard me with questions and ask me for more. I’m lucky to have them.
You’re not wrong. I’ve been an expat/immigrant in Asia for almost a decade now, and have been on the most incredible adventures. When I go back to the UK once a year or so my mates couldn’t give less of a shit about any of it. They barely ask. To be fair to them I’m not that interested in what life back in the UK has been like either.
I disagree. I travel more than the average person and I'm always interested in someone's perspective of a place I haven't been to yet. I don't hate you for saying it, but you're not entirely right. Sorry, because here I am. And I'm not no one. Right?
when someone says 'nobody cares', or any other hyperbole, they don't mean literally 100% of the humans that ever existed - but in practice, that's what it feels like anyway
Yeah. Most people i know only superficially ask questions. They don't really want to know but want you to think they care. You can see it in their eyes as they glaze over quickly.
mostly nobody cares, unfortunately. Nor do they care to see pictures. I like to see and hear about everything, especially from a person who likes to tell a good story.
Omg this is so real - my parents could not care less about what’s going on in my life - they just go down the list of five questions (how’s the job, how’s the dog, how’s the apt…etc) just to get to the REAL meat of the convo which is their lives, in all the most mundane detail (what they did in the yard that day, what they ate for dinner, etc). I could have come back from Thailand and it just wouldn’t matter 🤣 is this an old age thing? Or a sucky conversationalist thing? I dunno but I just roll with it I guess
Isn’t there a difference though with some … maybe the “traveler” isn’t coming forward with a lot of details when asked questions. Maybe the traveler is giving short answers and the other person feels a need to be the personable one. I see this with older generations and younger generations around me while I observe family. Personalities are so different , I feel like at times people talk about themselves just to fill the space. Not necessarily out of self centeredness. We can all be self centered but even being quiet and reserved can be the one behaving self centered due to being in their head and judging… expecting that their travel story will be unimportant to the other person. Projecting that onto others and basically creating that reality.
We all need to just chill and let people be who they are at any given moment to truly be free.
This is why I stay home a lot lol
This reminds me of when me and my partner came back from ~6 months travelling round Asia. His mother met us and didn’t ask anything, but I said “We had such an amazing trip!”. Still nothing. Later on she said “You must be so happy to be back” and I said “Well yes, but it was also a great adventure-“ and she interjected with “Nevermind - it’s all over now” and never let us mention it again. Meanwhile we have to hear her talk about bin collection schedules for what seems like hours on end.
We have now moved to the other side of the world and she still never wants to know anything, unless it’s negative.
This is so typical. It's like they didn't get the plug in for "Anywhere Outside the US". I travel about 10 mos a year and all anyone asks me is "Where's your next trip." LOL.
A lot of people just don't care to hear about other people's travels. I love asking people about their trips and also talking about mine (if anyone actually wants to listen). I never force my life on others.
There’s also a lot of people who are jealous so I don’t talk about it. Even people who don’t care to travel get green with envy and ask questions like how can you afford it? Uh.. we make similar amounts.. it’s called saving and not eating out, living at home and not shopping so much.
There is likely some jealousy. But not always. Two buddies and I were discussing the difference of our three passions/how we spend disposable income. One buddy love to BBQ. He has a $20k backyard set up. Smokers, grills, etc. He’s always doing meat every weekend, the other loves music and goes to music festival spending in a year what I spend on travel to hear the same few bands.
I have no desire to hear how the meat grilling was (though I do love when invited us over to eat it!) or how the concert of a group that hasn’t been relevant in 25 years was. They also don’t really want to hear how my trip was.
This is very fair. I also sometimes think they don't know what to ask just like i would run out of questions on the music festivals pretty quick. But that BBQ setup i could talk about. 20k!!! Dayum!
It’s nice to know that someone else’s parents are just as detached. If I have to hear about the economics of whether or not my mom should replace her power steering pump one more time, I’m going to drive my car into a brick wall.
Sometimes it hurts my feelings that they don’t seem to care about what’s going on in my life but maybe it’s more universal than I thought.
100% this. I spent an entire year away last year and every phone call with my mum was the same conversation about how she threw her phone at the wall (that i helped her buy before leaving) and how her laptop doesn’t work anymore (that I also helped her buy because shes so unsavvy about anything) leaving me feeling like nothing I do is ever good enough and nothing I’m experiencing is important.
The laptop just had the brightness turned down🤦
This is 100% both my husband and I's parents. It seems like they're impossible to connect with them on a sincere personal level because of this, or even for them to make the effort to show as much interest in us as we show in them. We're probably going to give up trying to actually connect at some point. It's weird to me when other people have real relationships with their parents. Sad.
That trip sounds amazing. I had the same interaction with my grandmother when I was 18 and had returned from spending a year in Japan as an exchange student. Honestly I never got over it, and became completely disillusioned with her interest in me and my life. My mother, on the other hand, insisted I show her ALL the photos and we sat together doing that every evening for a week.
Sometimes I'll make a really weak response like "It was great!" and pause.
It's shocking how many people will be satisfied by this and plow on into a different conversation. 🤷♀️
Ugh, this. I've spent over six years of my life abroad and been to several dozen countries, and my friends and family leave it at "How was it?" and "How was the food?" You can't answer beyond a few sentences. And it's not like I'm not interested in their lives - I'm happy to listen to office drama or their daring trip to the cabin an hour away they go to every year, but they have zero curiosity about anything beyond the U.S.
Me too! I live in Africa for 10 months of the year at a safari camp. I see all kinds of amazing things. When I come back to the US my father only asks "when are you going back?" and then tells me about all his ailments. Dad I live in Freaking Zambia! There are elephants outside my door! No interest.
Lots of suggestions about 'best' and 'worst' bits/meals/areas etc - but a general LPT is that lots of people struggle with superlatives on the spot and you might get a response like 'oh, wow, big question... Let me think...'
A good rule of thumb is to soften those questions a bit, ask 'what were some of your favourite bits' or 'what did you really like', etc - you'll effectively get the same response, but more quickly, maybe longer, and with a bit less pressure!
This is the way!
I have trouble figuring out what my absolute favorite or worst anything was. But if you ask me what are some memorable things, some things that I particularly enjoyed or found surprising I can come up with all sorts of things.
Yes, I've realized this recently too, and it extends to all kinds of things. If you ask me for my favorite song, I'll have to think a bit, or you might get the same answer I would've given 10 years ago. But if you ask "what's a song you're currently enjoying/excited about", you'll hear about the song I've been putting on every time I get in the car for the last two weeks.
I like the dumb minutiae of travel, and *usually* people like talking about their trips with a little prodding, so I try and draw out as much detail as I can by encouraging them to go through the boring (to other people) bits.
Aka, “So you flew out of LAX? Any connections or was it direct? What airline? How was it?”
I try not interrogate, but when I get more details instead of just isolated anecdotes, I feel like I can understand their experience more and maybe learn a thing or two I could use in my own next trip in the process.
Me too. Currently had a broken toe from running into a wall in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom. I have a chronic hamstring injury from a drunken tangle with deck chairs.
Same here. I broke my ankle on the first day of my honeymoon abroad which made for some further interesting stories, like upgraded seats at a concert and meeting the band.
I feel this deep in my soul. As a person who forgot meds and subsequently had a migraine that caused me to vomit in the street in Spain, looking up at a ceiling mural and walked into a floor mirror (meant to save people from looking up at the mural (?) ) and scraped up my legs, and then pierced my forearm (lots of bleeding) on a sharp aloe/yucca type plant while talking/gesturing (all this in Spain- same trip)…I WAS that person. I’ve learned over the years to plan better and be more careful…. But deep inside I’m still that person and chaos me could re-emerge if I ever let my guard down
I use to have a travel blog that primarily featured accounts of all my mistakes. After covid I stopped keeping it up to date as "I had gotten better as a traveler." So didn't need it anymore.
Then two years ago I broke every bone in my left wrist, at 8:30 AM on DAY 2 of a 12 day trip to Jordan. I had to fly home for emergency surgery early. I did however get to hike Petra with my injured arm ducktaped to my shoulder before I flew home.
So I guess I should keep that blog active. Cause its apparent I'll keep having content for it.
Edit: And while I've not written a post about Jordan, I know exactly how it will start. "Here is Jade, in front of a sign for the Dead Sea stating it is the lowest point on earth. This was day 1. And now here is Jade on Day 3, in front of the same sign, but with a broken arm. This is her at her lowest point in travel. Let me tell you the story on how I got here."
No one’s ever asked me that one! I did a backpacking trip in Europe for 2 months and one day I went to the zoo hahaha it was fun to feel like a kid again and just see some cool animals and it was a conservation zoo and all the zookeepers spoke Portuguese and it was a very unique experience! That’s a good question.
Haha yes! Went to Africa for safari. I still go to every zoo I can..if it looks humane. My (now ex-) husband didn't want to go to Singapore and do night safari, i still want to do that! Vienna zoo was also amazing!
When I traveled the USA on business, I made a point of rating Key Lime Pie wherever it was available. Asking people about food is definitely going to be interesting.
I did a key lime pie tour too! Did you enjoy? I was unfortunately underwhelmed. It was all too sweet. I kept hoping the next one would be better but it never was. I was really excited for it too, because I love citrus custard pies, but man, Florida loves its sugar more than I do.
Most people ask me- “how do you afford it, how rich are you? Oh you’re lucky most people can’t. You should be so grateful.” It’s great
Edit: some people have even asked me to pay for their trips lol.
"I drive a responsible car. It's 14 years old and not exciting but reliable. How are the payments on your brand new truck? It get 4 miles per gallon? Nice. You know, most people can't afford that."
So annoying. We hardly ever eat out, brew my own coffee/ bubble tea and I barely shop for clothes or anything like that all so I can splurge. I actually have a high yield travel fund I put a bit into every month just for travels and I manage to cover a lot of costs with my credit card points. Important to learn to convert to point systems to save on points. I used to book directly on the credit card’s system and now I realized I was a fool. So yeah.. definitely a learning curve for things I love.
I still cringe thinking about the time I redeemed 50k capital one points for a $400 Amazon gift card. That was back when they weren't worth a shit anyway, but fortunately I learned the error of my ways a long time ago. Finally convinced my dad to ditch the Delta amex and start earning MR.
Basically, the only expensive part is the plane ticket. Figure that out, and you can travel most places in the world for less than you would spend on everyday expenses in the US.
It also helps that the USD is relatively strong right now too. Even in Europe, it's less than a 10% increase between the Dollar and Euro (compared to 1 USD to 0.7 EUR the first time I went). The other hard currencies (Pound and Yen) have also been weak too, so that helps us Americans as well while traveling abroad.
"I'm not rich, I just choose to spend the little money I have on different things than they do. I am still lucky though. There are a lot of really, truly poor people in the world."
Did you have any suspicious foreign contacts or interactions with local law enforcement, government officials, or military?
Well, I guess that's what I'm asked because of a security clearance.
What their favorite thing they did was, if it was what they expected, favorite food they ate, if they want to go back and what they’d do differently, what they’d recommend, etc. So many different things you can ask.
I ask about what they did, what they ate, music and art they saw, hikes, cool shit..depending on where they went. If they went somewhere I’ve been we talk about that and if it’s a place I wanna go I ask them questions I may have. And I like looking at peoples travel pics. But I also love traveling so I’m a great audience for people coming back from a trip cuz I’m genuinely interested.
I like to ask for specifics. These usually have the most interesting answers. Like: What did you think of the XXXX cathedral? Did you try the pastries? Was the king in town? Could you find a place for your tent? If this is a friend of yours you might know his / her personal interests and can ask detailed questions about, say, food or architecture. It's fun for the returnee if you have a real interest and they would love to share their experiences with someone who appreciates them.
Instead of asking superlative questions like “best” and “most memorable,” I like to ask open ended questions like “how was the food?” Or “was there a ton of walking? How was getting around?” I feel like that always illicits stories!
I wanted an answer for this as well, so it's too bad that all of the answers on this thread are terrible.
My somewhat decent question would be "what was different over there"? It prompts people to talk about random things they liked, e.g. transit systems, restaurants, costs, weather, etc. Stuff that made them feel like they experienced a unique thing.
You're basically asking about their regrets instead of what they enjoyed. I don't think it's ideal to focus on the things they missed out on / wasted time or money on.
When I am asked how my trip was, I am usually being mindful not to be a bore. I don’t want to go on and on about it and I don’t want to be too posh. If someone really wants to hear all about it, they will ask more targeted questions: what was your favorite meal; what are the people like; did you go to any churches/castles/museums/beaches; what transportation did you use/how was it; where did you stay?
Oh dear, I'll have to think about this one! My daughter hissed at me not to bring up mass shootings in America while chatting with other travelers in Iceland...
All these comments make me chuckle. I spent my senior year abroad and everyone was really excited for me. But when I got home, I got a lot of, “How was it???” questions. And I’m like, “It was awesome.” And that was that. Like, how do you sum up a whole year for someone?
I have the best conversations with folks about trips when I start asking about the itinerary. Where did they go and what specifically did they see? You can’t make specific comments about a multi-day trip because it’s made up of a bunch of smaller activities, interactions, and moments. So figuring out what those smaller pieces are, then asking follow up questions, will get you more details.
That’d be too vague for many people. Something more specific like about dining, pastimes they witnessed, architecture they saw, etc. That stuff is better than “culture.” Though a lot of people would also like the freedom of the broader question. Solution: Have one of each. If “culture” doesn’t get anything, proceed to “Best outdoor meal?”
If you're truly interested, ask specifics like "Did you try baklava in Turkey?" or "What'd you think about the Colosseum?" That'll show that you care and want to know more rather than your run-on-the-mill "how was it?"
“What surprised you the most?” gets people thinking a little more deeply.
I just returned from my first visit to the south of Spain last week and I could rave about the sights and the beaches, which were great, but didn’t surprise me, but what did surprise me was the aggressiveness of the drivers on the road in a region I thought would be a lot more laid-back
Don't do the general "how was it". Ask specific things like about what meals they liked, culture shocks, what they disliked, funny moments etc. Also don't talk about your experience in XYZ country straight away and just give them time to talk.
I travel a lot and often get the “how was it” question when I see friends after returning. I respond “oh great” then take a pause. If they look at me expectantly, I continue with details and anecdotes. If they just start blathering on about that trip they took once, I kinda zone out. Luckily, my friends are more in the former category.
I always ask for the top 3 highlights.
I remember reading a book 20 years ago about nomading before my wife and I left on a year long backpacking trip. It mentioned that one you return, prepare yourself that nobody will really care about your trip. It’s true. Most people aren’t really interested or have no perspective to even make the conversation interesting. As such, I never spend much time talking about my trips.
I only go into depth with the people who ask follow up questions. Questions I ask others are:
What would you go back and experience it again?
What did you see that you would go back to do?
What thing did you not plan for but stumbled on and it was great?
What was over-rated and What was underrated?
What was the best spontaneous experience you had?
What was the biggest let down?
Did anything move into your top 10 travel experiences?
I love hearing in detail people’s trip experiences. I love travel planning and finding new things from people.
I’m in the say-nothing camp. But, hot tip - when we come back from a hell trip and someone asks how it was, I just say:
**It was so memorable!**
Because it is honest, and avoids getting into it. My life looks great on paper - so much travel in France! - but for several years I had young kids and people were dying. You run into someone in the grocery store the first morning back, and they want to know it was wonderful. I let it be that way!
My friend group started a post trip power point presentation. We brought back food and drink from the destination and did a quick recap of everything. It was really fun!
I've made a closed fb group where I post a travel diary with info about the places and stuff and my very personal comments. 2-5 pictures per day with explanation. Only those who are really interested are invited. So when I get home, these people ask questions they want the answer to, so we start several levels up. The others just get a "fine, it was great, too many pictures of mountains, but you know me"
I’m a study abroad advisor so on the occasions I get to talk to students after they return, I usually start with, “Tell me about [location]” and then I listen to them and ask follow up questions :)
I don’t know who creates these rules for how I’m supposed to react when people ask me questions. Was it from some post on here? Who gives a f. You can ask me “how was it?”
My boyfriend’s brother just asks me yesterday “what was the biggest cultural difference you experienced?” and it felt so nice to actually get a question I could give an actual response to (as opposed to the typical “how was it?” “great!” and then when I start to ramble about what I enjoyed about the trip it kinda sucks to see them slowly start to lose interest)
Rose/bud/thorn is a good one. Rose is a good thing that happened, bud is something you look forward to (maybe something the trip inspired), and thorn is something bad that happened. I don’t want to hear the play by play of your trip but I love a good story.
I like to ask:
1) what was the one thing that you were most excited to see/do and did it live up to expectations?
2) if you could plan it all again where would you have stayed longer and why?
Ask what interests you, if you're not interested shut up.
> it always produces an underwhelming, if not insufficient, response.
According to whom? Who decides what is insufficient? Insufficient for what?
My go to questions about peoples travel are the following
* Tell me about your favorite day
* What was your favorite thing you ate
You're probably going to get their favorite highlights through these two questions.
- Did this trip change you in any way?
- would you go back again? Why/why not?
- what new perspective about yourself did you get from this trip?
- what were you most grateful for on this trip?
* Could you tell us about your trip and describe your travel background in brief?
* How did you hear about this destination?
* What are your travel strengths and travel weaknesses?
* How do you deal with travel pressure or stressful situations?
* Do you prefer traveling independently or on a team?
* What are your travel budget expectations?
* Are you traveling anywhere else currently?
* From your background I understand that you took a non-gap year. Would you like to tell us why that was?
I usually ask their highlight and lowlight, but if it's a country that potentially has a big culture shock I'll ask something like "what was the thing you experienced/saw that most surprised you"
Probably something specific to the type of traveller they are. For a foodie, what was their favourite meal? For an adrenaline-seeker, what was the craziest adventure?
"Was it as bad as they say?" asked my mom after a perfectly safe and nice holiday that I had. It's good to bring out the stereotypes and sometimes see that there is nothing to worry about. Many places are safe nowadays - places that might not have been safe in the 90s.
ask about runner up situations if you want then to keep talking.
or ask about something that seemed like it was gonna be awful but turned out well
i also like to ask what their top 3 things were about the trip. you might get an answer with extremes like “hearing the ocean when i fell asleep” and “jumping out of a plane”
i think that’s fun.
and maybe “what’s one thing you wish you could take home with you from the trip” maybe they will say the hotel shower, or the food, or the culture, who knows !
Did anything on your trip inspire you?
It's a different question and inspiration can mean something different to each person so you'll usually get a wide variety of answers.
My mom always asks everyone what was the high of the trip and what was the low! The lows of the trip are always funnier after the fact and we've heard some great stories!
We went to Europe for two months last year and everyone we’ve seen since has asked some form of what was the BEST thing you did lol. Best questions we’ve had are “did anything really funny happen?” and “where did you get the most lost?”
I usually ask what are some of their most memorable experiences. I find if I ask what their favourite thing/place/food was people often struggle because they can't decide.
Memorable though? Usually gets them reeling off great stories!
I always ask what their biggest surprise was.
I like this! There’s always something unexpected in travel, and that’s why it’s so fun to figure out how to navigate such situations when traveling
Culture shock is like hallucinating while totally sober. This is what I ask people about.
Haha. That's one cute way to put it. What was your biggest culture shock you've experienced?
Haha, this make me laugh. I was in the USSR in 1991 for 3 weeks, saw many intriguing things, met some wonderful people and had some incredible cultural experiences. Upon my return to the United States, my father picked me up at the airport, asked me if I had a good trip. I said yes, began to expand but he cut me off to tell me how cold it had been in Ohio and what he had for lunch earlier in the day.
My husband and I went to Greece last year. So many people asked us how it was, and before we were finished with even one memory, they jumped in to tell us about the time they went \[whereever -- fill in the blank\]. Our neighbors even invited us over to "hear all about" our trip. We said one thing. But we heard quite a bit about their trip five years ago to Scotland.
I had a “friend” who did this. She viewed herself as some kind of Travel Expert. She pretty much asked how my trip was just to shit on my experiences and launch into what *she* did when she went there. I got sick of it and blocked her on my SM.
I've said this for years: no one wants to hear about your travels. No one cares. People hate me for saying it, and I always catch heat for it, but it's true. The only exception is people you traveled with talking about the places you traveled to with them. That's it. Which is why, after years of traveling solo, I now strongly prefer to go with people. Otherwise I can never really talk about the adventures and the memories with anyone. EDIT: I forgot how literally Reddit takes any statement that implies absolutes. Obviously I'm not out here saying that literally no one in the known universe of all of humanity has ever cared about someone else's travels people. There are obviously exceptions to every rule, and I don't need every instance of these exceptions popping up in my inbox. I was generalizing.
I agree for the most part, except I genuinely care about other peoples trips. I ask so many questions they started to get almost weirded out lol. I try living through trip in my own kind and have second hand enjoyment
Seriously, me too. I love seeing other people's vacation photos too.
Glad I’m not alone. If you tell me you went on a trip somewhere cool prepare to be interrogated for the details.
Seeing loved ones' vacation photos gives me so much joy!
It's a litmus test. If you can have an actual conversation you're with a kindred spirit.
Another exception is when they’re planning a trip to the same place. Then they’re all ears. I started just sharing my gmaps favorites with folks for this exact reason. Then if they want to hear more, they’ll ask. Less frustrating and helps me not feel like I’m “selling” them on a particular experience when I’m really doing them a favor.
I largely agree with this sentiment but there are some people who love travel stories. I grew up hearing the wild shit my mom got into traveling and I love hearing them. A couple of my friends who enjoy traveling bombard me with questions and ask me for more. I’m lucky to have them.
You’re not wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, I still hate you for saying it. But I cannot argue with what you’re saying.
You’re not wrong. I’ve been an expat/immigrant in Asia for almost a decade now, and have been on the most incredible adventures. When I go back to the UK once a year or so my mates couldn’t give less of a shit about any of it. They barely ask. To be fair to them I’m not that interested in what life back in the UK has been like either.
I disagree. I travel more than the average person and I'm always interested in someone's perspective of a place I haven't been to yet. I don't hate you for saying it, but you're not entirely right. Sorry, because here I am. And I'm not no one. Right?
when someone says 'nobody cares', or any other hyperbole, they don't mean literally 100% of the humans that ever existed - but in practice, that's what it feels like anyway
Yeah, probably not 100% if you factor in the people on this sub. Outside this safe space? Closer to 100% than not.
lol
Totally agree with this statement. There are, of course, exceptions - as you pointed out. But, by and large, the majority of people don’t care.
Well, I for one, am very curious how that experience was in the USSR in 1991! Where did you go, what did you see, have you been back since??
Yes!!!
And "what are the memories of your experience that have stuck with you since your return" (a week/month/year/3 decades later)?
Yeah. Most people i know only superficially ask questions. They don't really want to know but want you to think they care. You can see it in their eyes as they glaze over quickly.
mostly nobody cares, unfortunately. Nor do they care to see pictures. I like to see and hear about everything, especially from a person who likes to tell a good story.
Omg this is so real - my parents could not care less about what’s going on in my life - they just go down the list of five questions (how’s the job, how’s the dog, how’s the apt…etc) just to get to the REAL meat of the convo which is their lives, in all the most mundane detail (what they did in the yard that day, what they ate for dinner, etc). I could have come back from Thailand and it just wouldn’t matter 🤣 is this an old age thing? Or a sucky conversationalist thing? I dunno but I just roll with it I guess
I don’t know but I’m 65 now and I listen to everyone’s travel story.
Me too, I ask people to tell me about their trip, and want to see the pictures (within reason, of course). I listen, too!
Probably why you’re on this subreddit!
It’s a lack of self-awareness/self-centeredness thing.
Isn’t there a difference though with some … maybe the “traveler” isn’t coming forward with a lot of details when asked questions. Maybe the traveler is giving short answers and the other person feels a need to be the personable one. I see this with older generations and younger generations around me while I observe family. Personalities are so different , I feel like at times people talk about themselves just to fill the space. Not necessarily out of self centeredness. We can all be self centered but even being quiet and reserved can be the one behaving self centered due to being in their head and judging… expecting that their travel story will be unimportant to the other person. Projecting that onto others and basically creating that reality. We all need to just chill and let people be who they are at any given moment to truly be free. This is why I stay home a lot lol
This reminds me of when me and my partner came back from ~6 months travelling round Asia. His mother met us and didn’t ask anything, but I said “We had such an amazing trip!”. Still nothing. Later on she said “You must be so happy to be back” and I said “Well yes, but it was also a great adventure-“ and she interjected with “Nevermind - it’s all over now” and never let us mention it again. Meanwhile we have to hear her talk about bin collection schedules for what seems like hours on end. We have now moved to the other side of the world and she still never wants to know anything, unless it’s negative.
This is so typical. It's like they didn't get the plug in for "Anywhere Outside the US". I travel about 10 mos a year and all anyone asks me is "Where's your next trip." LOL.
A lot of people just don't care to hear about other people's travels. I love asking people about their trips and also talking about mine (if anyone actually wants to listen). I never force my life on others.
There’s also a lot of people who are jealous so I don’t talk about it. Even people who don’t care to travel get green with envy and ask questions like how can you afford it? Uh.. we make similar amounts.. it’s called saving and not eating out, living at home and not shopping so much.
There is likely some jealousy. But not always. Two buddies and I were discussing the difference of our three passions/how we spend disposable income. One buddy love to BBQ. He has a $20k backyard set up. Smokers, grills, etc. He’s always doing meat every weekend, the other loves music and goes to music festival spending in a year what I spend on travel to hear the same few bands. I have no desire to hear how the meat grilling was (though I do love when invited us over to eat it!) or how the concert of a group that hasn’t been relevant in 25 years was. They also don’t really want to hear how my trip was.
This is very fair. I also sometimes think they don't know what to ask just like i would run out of questions on the music festivals pretty quick. But that BBQ setup i could talk about. 20k!!! Dayum!
Doesn’t everyone live at home? If you mean you live with your parents, that’s what people are pointing out to you
It’s nice to know that someone else’s parents are just as detached. If I have to hear about the economics of whether or not my mom should replace her power steering pump one more time, I’m going to drive my car into a brick wall. Sometimes it hurts my feelings that they don’t seem to care about what’s going on in my life but maybe it’s more universal than I thought.
100% this. I spent an entire year away last year and every phone call with my mum was the same conversation about how she threw her phone at the wall (that i helped her buy before leaving) and how her laptop doesn’t work anymore (that I also helped her buy because shes so unsavvy about anything) leaving me feeling like nothing I do is ever good enough and nothing I’m experiencing is important. The laptop just had the brightness turned down🤦
This is 100% both my husband and I's parents. It seems like they're impossible to connect with them on a sincere personal level because of this, or even for them to make the effort to show as much interest in us as we show in them. We're probably going to give up trying to actually connect at some point. It's weird to me when other people have real relationships with their parents. Sad.
I’ve found, in my age, that talking to people about yourself is more or less pointless.
I've now been on over 30 international trips and this is pretty accurate to coming home from my parents.
That’s peak Ohio!
That trip sounds amazing. I had the same interaction with my grandmother when I was 18 and had returned from spending a year in Japan as an exchange student. Honestly I never got over it, and became completely disillusioned with her interest in me and my life. My mother, on the other hand, insisted I show her ALL the photos and we sat together doing that every evening for a week.
Sometimes I'll make a really weak response like "It was great!" and pause. It's shocking how many people will be satisfied by this and plow on into a different conversation. 🤷♀️
Ugh, this. I've spent over six years of my life abroad and been to several dozen countries, and my friends and family leave it at "How was it?" and "How was the food?" You can't answer beyond a few sentences. And it's not like I'm not interested in their lives - I'm happy to listen to office drama or their daring trip to the cabin an hour away they go to every year, but they have zero curiosity about anything beyond the U.S.
Comin’ in hot! I’m sorry he didn’t care. I’ll bet you had many fascinating stories to share.
Me too! I live in Africa for 10 months of the year at a safari camp. I see all kinds of amazing things. When I come back to the US my father only asks "when are you going back?" and then tells me about all his ailments. Dad I live in Freaking Zambia! There are elephants outside my door! No interest.
Typical flyover state response.
Someday I'll get to be amongst the empathetic sophisticates of the coastal states. Some... day....
Nobody actually cares. They’re either contemptuous or jealous of where you went, and they’re only asking from a sense of cultural politeness.
I actually do, mostly out of curiosity.
I like to ask what was their favorite thing they ate, drank, saw, and did.
This plus I add what was their worst of every thing
Yes! I love travel horror stories 🤣
Yep and also the weirdest
Haha “what did you eat??” is always the first thing I ask someone. I’m definitely someone who travels for food and history
Yep, I always ask best meal. It usually makes them think about their answer.
Lots of suggestions about 'best' and 'worst' bits/meals/areas etc - but a general LPT is that lots of people struggle with superlatives on the spot and you might get a response like 'oh, wow, big question... Let me think...' A good rule of thumb is to soften those questions a bit, ask 'what were some of your favourite bits' or 'what did you really like', etc - you'll effectively get the same response, but more quickly, maybe longer, and with a bit less pressure!
This is the way! I have trouble figuring out what my absolute favorite or worst anything was. But if you ask me what are some memorable things, some things that I particularly enjoyed or found surprising I can come up with all sorts of things.
Yeh I like asking for the highlights reel. Which leaves it open for funny bits, good bits, wow moments, food drink and activities
Yes, I've realized this recently too, and it extends to all kinds of things. If you ask me for my favorite song, I'll have to think a bit, or you might get the same answer I would've given 10 years ago. But if you ask "what's a song you're currently enjoying/excited about", you'll hear about the song I've been putting on every time I get in the car for the last two weeks.
I like the dumb minutiae of travel, and *usually* people like talking about their trips with a little prodding, so I try and draw out as much detail as I can by encouraging them to go through the boring (to other people) bits. Aka, “So you flew out of LAX? Any connections or was it direct? What airline? How was it?” I try not interrogate, but when I get more details instead of just isolated anecdotes, I feel like I can understand their experience more and maybe learn a thing or two I could use in my own next trip in the process.
I frequently injure myself or have a wild story of some mishap, so I get asked about that.
Me too. Currently had a broken toe from running into a wall in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom. I have a chronic hamstring injury from a drunken tangle with deck chairs.
Same here. I broke my ankle on the first day of my honeymoon abroad which made for some further interesting stories, like upgraded seats at a concert and meeting the band.
I came back from a surf trip with a black eye from someone’s board. That usually was the opening question for me when I got home
I feel this deep in my soul. As a person who forgot meds and subsequently had a migraine that caused me to vomit in the street in Spain, looking up at a ceiling mural and walked into a floor mirror (meant to save people from looking up at the mural (?) ) and scraped up my legs, and then pierced my forearm (lots of bleeding) on a sharp aloe/yucca type plant while talking/gesturing (all this in Spain- same trip)…I WAS that person. I’ve learned over the years to plan better and be more careful…. But deep inside I’m still that person and chaos me could re-emerge if I ever let my guard down
I use to have a travel blog that primarily featured accounts of all my mistakes. After covid I stopped keeping it up to date as "I had gotten better as a traveler." So didn't need it anymore. Then two years ago I broke every bone in my left wrist, at 8:30 AM on DAY 2 of a 12 day trip to Jordan. I had to fly home for emergency surgery early. I did however get to hike Petra with my injured arm ducktaped to my shoulder before I flew home. So I guess I should keep that blog active. Cause its apparent I'll keep having content for it. Edit: And while I've not written a post about Jordan, I know exactly how it will start. "Here is Jade, in front of a sign for the Dead Sea stating it is the lowest point on earth. This was day 1. And now here is Jade on Day 3, in front of the same sign, but with a broken arm. This is her at her lowest point in travel. Let me tell you the story on how I got here."
Hahaha! Looks like I have some competition!
I like to hear about any cool animals they may have seen.
No one’s ever asked me that one! I did a backpacking trip in Europe for 2 months and one day I went to the zoo hahaha it was fun to feel like a kid again and just see some cool animals and it was a conservation zoo and all the zookeepers spoke Portuguese and it was a very unique experience! That’s a good question.
we just got back from Yellowstone so that was also a good question for us!
This is a good one!
Haha yes! Went to Africa for safari. I still go to every zoo I can..if it looks humane. My (now ex-) husband didn't want to go to Singapore and do night safari, i still want to do that! Vienna zoo was also amazing!
I always ask them to tell me about the most memorable meal they had
When I traveled the USA on business, I made a point of rating Key Lime Pie wherever it was available. Asking people about food is definitely going to be interesting.
I did a key lime pie tour too! Did you enjoy? I was unfortunately underwhelmed. It was all too sweet. I kept hoping the next one would be better but it never was. I was really excited for it too, because I love citrus custard pies, but man, Florida loves its sugar more than I do.
Chicago had a Key Lime Mousse in a hazlenut and graham cracker crust pie which I remember was spectacular...
Same, I plan my holidays around food. Last year I went to Singapore and Bologna, so much amazing food was eaten.
Have you been to Vietnam? I haven't recovered yet from all the deliciousness
I haven’t! My husband has family in Singapore so each time we visit our aim is to go to another SE Asian country.
I did a home stay and they fed me well!! People from the neighborhood came over with food!
We are spirit animals
Pigs? Oink'io
That’s a good one. I had at least three out of body experiences because of good food in Italy
Most people ask me- “how do you afford it, how rich are you? Oh you’re lucky most people can’t. You should be so grateful.” It’s great Edit: some people have even asked me to pay for their trips lol.
"I drive a responsible car. It's 14 years old and not exciting but reliable. How are the payments on your brand new truck? It get 4 miles per gallon? Nice. You know, most people can't afford that."
Get out of my head
So annoying. We hardly ever eat out, brew my own coffee/ bubble tea and I barely shop for clothes or anything like that all so I can splurge. I actually have a high yield travel fund I put a bit into every month just for travels and I manage to cover a lot of costs with my credit card points. Important to learn to convert to point systems to save on points. I used to book directly on the credit card’s system and now I realized I was a fool. So yeah.. definitely a learning curve for things I love.
Tricky stuff. Any tips you can share about points? I struggle with how to make them worth much.
Same
I still cringe thinking about the time I redeemed 50k capital one points for a $400 Amazon gift card. That was back when they weren't worth a shit anyway, but fortunately I learned the error of my ways a long time ago. Finally convinced my dad to ditch the Delta amex and start earning MR.
No kids. That’s my get rich quick scheme.
Basically, the only expensive part is the plane ticket. Figure that out, and you can travel most places in the world for less than you would spend on everyday expenses in the US.
It also helps that the USD is relatively strong right now too. Even in Europe, it's less than a 10% increase between the Dollar and Euro (compared to 1 USD to 0.7 EUR the first time I went). The other hard currencies (Pound and Yen) have also been weak too, so that helps us Americans as well while traveling abroad.
"I'm not rich, I just choose to spend the little money I have on different things than they do. I am still lucky though. There are a lot of really, truly poor people in the world."
Can you afford to take a free loader on your next trip?
I just ask to see their photos, which usually leads to them pointing things out or me having more specific questions.
Did you have any suspicious foreign contacts or interactions with local law enforcement, government officials, or military? Well, I guess that's what I'm asked because of a security clearance.
What their favorite thing they did was, if it was what they expected, favorite food they ate, if they want to go back and what they’d do differently, what they’d recommend, etc. So many different things you can ask.
You mean some people have curiosity about, and interest in, others?
What did you bring me??
\*sigh\* *unzips*
Lol. Tough crowd
Lol why all the downvotes? *sigh* reddit
Would you go there again?
I ask about what they did, what they ate, music and art they saw, hikes, cool shit..depending on where they went. If they went somewhere I’ve been we talk about that and if it’s a place I wanna go I ask them questions I may have. And I like looking at peoples travel pics. But I also love traveling so I’m a great audience for people coming back from a trip cuz I’m genuinely interested.
How does it feel to be home?
I will even ask questions like how did they go to the place / how did they plan for the trip bcos I might visit that place next 😂
“What was the worst part” will usually get a better story.
"What's the best thing you put into your mouth?"
I like to ask for specifics. These usually have the most interesting answers. Like: What did you think of the XXXX cathedral? Did you try the pastries? Was the king in town? Could you find a place for your tent? If this is a friend of yours you might know his / her personal interests and can ask detailed questions about, say, food or architecture. It's fun for the returnee if you have a real interest and they would love to share their experiences with someone who appreciates them.
What tips would you give someone traveling there?
Instead of asking superlative questions like “best” and “most memorable,” I like to ask open ended questions like “how was the food?” Or “was there a ton of walking? How was getting around?” I feel like that always illicits stories!
* Illicit = secret, furtive * Elicit = extract, coax out
No one I know asks me any questions. If you're a friend of someone who is returning, you're a good and caring friend
You come home and people act like you didn’t leave kinda thing? Trying to follow this one.
Yes lol
I like asking them what they enjoyed most about it!
Did you see or touch any monkeys?
Lordy …. NEVER touch the monkeys… those things might be cute but full of diseases! Rabies shots are not fun
I think "touch monkeys" must be some kind of euphemism, but I'm not sure for what.
I wanted an answer for this as well, so it's too bad that all of the answers on this thread are terrible. My somewhat decent question would be "what was different over there"? It prompts people to talk about random things they liked, e.g. transit systems, restaurants, costs, weather, etc. Stuff that made them feel like they experienced a unique thing.
Ask them if they knew at the time of booking the trip what they know now, what changes would they make.
You're basically asking about their regrets instead of what they enjoyed. I don't think it's ideal to focus on the things they missed out on / wasted time or money on.
When I am asked how my trip was, I am usually being mindful not to be a bore. I don’t want to go on and on about it and I don’t want to be too posh. If someone really wants to hear all about it, they will ask more targeted questions: what was your favorite meal; what are the people like; did you go to any churches/castles/museums/beaches; what transportation did you use/how was it; where did you stay?
“If I was planning to go, what should I not miss?”
I always say, "tell me every little thing".
"What did you do this time that embarrassed America?" ;-)
Oh dear, I'll have to think about this one! My daughter hissed at me not to bring up mass shootings in America while chatting with other travelers in Iceland...
Lol don't worry they'll bring it up first.
Is there anything they would have done differently
What’s the best thing you ate.
What lived up to the hype? What was your favorite new food? How was your interaction with the locals?
All these comments make me chuckle. I spent my senior year abroad and everyone was really excited for me. But when I got home, I got a lot of, “How was it???” questions. And I’m like, “It was awesome.” And that was that. Like, how do you sum up a whole year for someone? I have the best conversations with folks about trips when I start asking about the itinerary. Where did they go and what specifically did they see? You can’t make specific comments about a multi-day trip because it’s made up of a bunch of smaller activities, interactions, and moments. So figuring out what those smaller pieces are, then asking follow up questions, will get you more details.
What was the culture like (niche question that only I seem to be interested in)
That’d be too vague for many people. Something more specific like about dining, pastimes they witnessed, architecture they saw, etc. That stuff is better than “culture.” Though a lot of people would also like the freedom of the broader question. Solution: Have one of each. If “culture” doesn’t get anything, proceed to “Best outdoor meal?”
What was the overall vibe of the place like
Ask specific questions rather than general ones. Food is always a good place to start.
"What did you get for me?"
“Who was the worst person you encountered?” Will really get them going
I ask them to tell me about the most interesting people the met.
If you're truly interested, ask specifics like "Did you try baklava in Turkey?" or "What'd you think about the Colosseum?" That'll show that you care and want to know more rather than your run-on-the-mill "how was it?"
I always ask what the best thing they ate was.
A great question is: if I were to visit the same place you did, what would your advice be?
“What surprised you the most?” gets people thinking a little more deeply. I just returned from my first visit to the south of Spain last week and I could rave about the sights and the beaches, which were great, but didn’t surprise me, but what did surprise me was the aggressiveness of the drivers on the road in a region I thought would be a lot more laid-back
“What surprised you the most?”
Don't do the general "how was it". Ask specific things like about what meals they liked, culture shocks, what they disliked, funny moments etc. Also don't talk about your experience in XYZ country straight away and just give them time to talk.
I travel a lot and often get the “how was it” question when I see friends after returning. I respond “oh great” then take a pause. If they look at me expectantly, I continue with details and anecdotes. If they just start blathering on about that trip they took once, I kinda zone out. Luckily, my friends are more in the former category.
Did you buy me something?
I always ask for the top 3 highlights. I remember reading a book 20 years ago about nomading before my wife and I left on a year long backpacking trip. It mentioned that one you return, prepare yourself that nobody will really care about your trip. It’s true. Most people aren’t really interested or have no perspective to even make the conversation interesting. As such, I never spend much time talking about my trips.
I only go into depth with the people who ask follow up questions. Questions I ask others are: What would you go back and experience it again? What did you see that you would go back to do? What thing did you not plan for but stumbled on and it was great? What was over-rated and What was underrated? What was the best spontaneous experience you had? What was the biggest let down? Did anything move into your top 10 travel experiences? I love hearing in detail people’s trip experiences. I love travel planning and finding new things from people.
I’m in the say-nothing camp. But, hot tip - when we come back from a hell trip and someone asks how it was, I just say: **It was so memorable!** Because it is honest, and avoids getting into it. My life looks great on paper - so much travel in France! - but for several years I had young kids and people were dying. You run into someone in the grocery store the first morning back, and they want to know it was wonderful. I let it be that way!
My friend group started a post trip power point presentation. We brought back food and drink from the destination and did a quick recap of everything. It was really fun!
I ask what memory is going to be their favorite.
I've made a closed fb group where I post a travel diary with info about the places and stuff and my very personal comments. 2-5 pictures per day with explanation. Only those who are really interested are invited. So when I get home, these people ask questions they want the answer to, so we start several levels up. The others just get a "fine, it was great, too many pictures of mountains, but you know me"
I’m a study abroad advisor so on the occasions I get to talk to students after they return, I usually start with, “Tell me about [location]” and then I listen to them and ask follow up questions :)
I don’t know who creates these rules for how I’m supposed to react when people ask me questions. Was it from some post on here? Who gives a f. You can ask me “how was it?”
My boyfriend’s brother just asks me yesterday “what was the biggest cultural difference you experienced?” and it felt so nice to actually get a question I could give an actual response to (as opposed to the typical “how was it?” “great!” and then when I start to ramble about what I enjoyed about the trip it kinda sucks to see them slowly start to lose interest)
Rose/bud/thorn is a good one. Rose is a good thing that happened, bud is something you look forward to (maybe something the trip inspired), and thorn is something bad that happened. I don’t want to hear the play by play of your trip but I love a good story.
I like to ask: 1) what was the one thing that you were most excited to see/do and did it live up to expectations? 2) if you could plan it all again where would you have stayed longer and why?
As a traveller, the trick is to send them pictures and updates while travelling. Once you are back home, no one really gives a damn.
Would you go back?
What did you learn?
Ask what interests you, if you're not interested shut up. > it always produces an underwhelming, if not insufficient, response. According to whom? Who decides what is insufficient? Insufficient for what?
My go to questions about peoples travel are the following * Tell me about your favorite day * What was your favorite thing you ate You're probably going to get their favorite highlights through these two questions.
I ask if they had a sexual reawakening
"Are you glad to be home or do you wish you were still there"
- Did this trip change you in any way? - would you go back again? Why/why not? - what new perspective about yourself did you get from this trip? - what were you most grateful for on this trip?
Sounds like a job interview tbh
* Could you tell us about your trip and describe your travel background in brief? * How did you hear about this destination? * What are your travel strengths and travel weaknesses? * How do you deal with travel pressure or stressful situations? * Do you prefer traveling independently or on a team? * What are your travel budget expectations? * Are you traveling anywhere else currently? * From your background I understand that you took a non-gap year. Would you like to tell us why that was?
Where next?
Tell me their favorite part and their least favorite part.
Did anything go awry? Did you meet anyone and get to converse deeper?
What was your favorite meal
Favorite and worst moment!
I use the ambiguous "tell me about a highlight or lowlight" and that usually gets them going.
What's something you wanted to see but didn't get to?
I ask what they learned about the country that they didn't know before.
I usually ask their highlight and lowlight, but if it's a country that potentially has a big culture shock I'll ask something like "what was the thing you experienced/saw that most surprised you"
Probably something specific to the type of traveller they are. For a foodie, what was their favourite meal? For an adrenaline-seeker, what was the craziest adventure?
"Was it as bad as they say?" asked my mom after a perfectly safe and nice holiday that I had. It's good to bring out the stereotypes and sometimes see that there is nothing to worry about. Many places are safe nowadays - places that might not have been safe in the 90s.
someone asked me once what the pit and the peak were. that’s one of my favorite questions. best thing that happened, and worst thing that happened
ask about runner up situations if you want then to keep talking. or ask about something that seemed like it was gonna be awful but turned out well i also like to ask what their top 3 things were about the trip. you might get an answer with extremes like “hearing the ocean when i fell asleep” and “jumping out of a plane” i think that’s fun. and maybe “what’s one thing you wish you could take home with you from the trip” maybe they will say the hotel shower, or the food, or the culture, who knows !
i like to ask for their highlights! best things they did or ate!
Which was the best full day of your trip?
I like to ask, "What was your favorite experience?" and a question I got recently was "What was an unanticipated great thing that you did?"
What was your favorite part of the trip? Where did you like visiting the most?
Tell me 3 things you liked about the trip.
I like to ask best and worst thing....usually ends with some hilarious story
If you would do one thing again and again, what would it be?
Did anything on your trip inspire you? It's a different question and inspiration can mean something different to each person so you'll usually get a wide variety of answers.
My mom always asks everyone what was the high of the trip and what was the low! The lows of the trip are always funnier after the fact and we've heard some great stories!
We went to Europe for two months last year and everyone we’ve seen since has asked some form of what was the BEST thing you did lol. Best questions we’ve had are “did anything really funny happen?” and “where did you get the most lost?”
What was the shittiest thing that happened What was the coolest critter you saw What did you pack that you would not bring again
I usually ask what are some of their most memorable experiences. I find if I ask what their favourite thing/place/food was people often struggle because they can't decide. Memorable though? Usually gets them reeling off great stories!