I've adapted to graze and eat leaves, bark, dirt, and small rocks.

sounds like bushcraft or at least bushcraft adjacent. needs more beans

I have adapted to photosynthesize. I continuously generate energy so I don't have to stop to eat 😌

Has anyone considered how much weight can be saved by not eating at all. Maybe just some bugs or something found on the trail?

Water is where the weights at. I don't drink that stuff anymore.

Literally like 80% of my current weight. Time to drop it like it's hot

I’ve actually worried about not having enough fat stores and losing too much plus at home I drink constant water so not sure how to adjust

I just camel up at home

Become a breatharian like me! Everything we need or bodies absorb from the air we breathe!

I can eat sunlight too

That’s idiotic. No nutrition in any of that. Why would you eat that crap when there’s hundreds of thousands of calories just walking around on every major trail? I’ve been testing out cannibalism as a way to shed a pound or two from food weight and it’s going great. Tastes delicious and so much fun. I’ve even started hunting them for sport, it’s all I can think about. And my insatiable bloodlust is great motivation on those longer miles days. Highly recommend.

Always got to bring a friend on a weekend backpacking trip, or bring a few so you're not alone on the hike back!

The jagged rocks are crunchier.

Dehydrated? Hahaha, peon. I convinced my work to buy a commercial freeze dryer. So, no. I will not be the one sucking “it” today.

I also choose this guy’s misuse of corporate assets!

This is an upgrade from the Costco snacks that I squirrel away from my employment.

I grow ultralight beans.

I sell dummies ultralight beans to grow

[удалено]

Look at the weight value proposition on that trade!

I grow ultralight beams in the comfort of my home

Kanye?

I'm sure he Kan.

I don’t need a culinary course I just do the ABC’s with my tongue.

\> I'm gonna make my own meals that aren't as good as beans & rice Good luck.

Rice and beans does get old after a while. Have you tried beans and rice?

Your wife's boyfriend says learning to cook won't bring her back

Oh you still carry gear to rehydrate meals? /r/lightweight is that away bud.

Disgusting group of people, they should be ashamed.

I spent all my money on dyneema, so I can’t afford to eat.

Good

I just don't go anywhere so my base weight + consumables is zero.

What a Johnny-come-lately. Were you at peak level you would have already been a chef decades ago and had mastered this well before now. Culinary course. Pffft. Next you’ll tell us all about that REI class that you’re taking next month. Poser.

How about you try cooking deez nutz

Pathetic, I've died and lost all water weight and the need for food therefore making me the most ultralight.

Can vouch! I am haunted by u/Wanderer-on-the-Edge‘s spectre. It’s worn weight.

Honestly I view u/fauxanonymity_ As a helpful pair of hands... of which I have none. They are typing this right now.

Send help. Please.

Don't listen to them, we're hiking buddies NO MATTER WHAT

So you carry a stove then? Pfffft.....

Cold brew rehydration bitch

You're still eating dehydrated food? Apparently you haven't learned about calorie density. I just fill my water bladder with EVOO and carry enough calories for weeks of hiking.

I’ve adapted to survive off the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

Levels are f-ing heavy man. That’s why I never level up.

I’ve adapted to survive on trail magic and dyneema.

I have my pack and gear airdropped to my backyard and have a team set it all up

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Nearly everything on the interior, unrefrigerated rows of the grocery store is already dehydrated.

I was circumcised as an adult and foreskin replaced with dyneema.

Food? I just do photosynthesis

Imagine having to eat lol

I clicked on this post to feel worse about myself and IT WORKED

Pfft. Ever heard of the Olive Oil diet?

Unless you have completely stopped using toilettes and only poop in holes dug for that specific movement then you are a poser.

I don’t bring in food

I had 100 cases of smart water in the basement next to my old gear room (before I moved the gear room to my wife’s boyfriends upstairs den.)  if I could find someone to haul all of that water upstairs - I could start eating dehydrated meals every day.

In all seriousness, I did a ton of dehydrating for my own meals on the AT. I spent months planning my courses. I always had the best food.

They ain’t got levels where you are doe. Just straight jackets and Thorazine.