so relatable. it only gets more awkward and embarrassing when the time comes as an adult, im not sure whats worse remaining a virgin or getting that opportunity but feeling so ashamed afterwards due to lack of experience that showed all the way through, leading to whoever you end up having sex with becoming no longer interested due to them obviously not wanting to teach an x year old adult how to fuck, kiss and act in a relationship. no one should have to teach anyone how to date, it should just come naturally with time (so they say) if you're normal and know how to do things correctly, but if not then this is just another worry to add to your list.
prepare for a lot of uncomfortable conversations that may be had in the future like screening questions on first dates such as asking about past relationships, preference in guys/girls and other things you might have to lie about if you're at the age where you can no longer use studying or working on yourself as an excuse, but even then i think i'd rather just stay where i am. again, not even sure whats worse. i feel absolutely ashamed. every interaction with someone my age feels like im back at school waiting for them to insult me. i dont even bother talking much at work anymore because of this and past remarks about my voice, accent and stutter. people are so cruel
Maybe being upfront about it with any potential partner will be the key.
yeah i mean i think it all depends on how you are, and who you know. my biggest fear is having that person tll everyone who i went to school with/who made fun of me, and it going around that i didnt do anything at school relationship and sex wise and the bullying starting again. doesnt help i work in a very busy place (retail) with lots of girls my age, but also so many familar faces from school and just past people who ive worked with. i still feel so much shame that i'll end up being exposed for not having a life. recently started this job and already having to lie about having friends, plans on my days off with these said "friends" just to fit in and seem interesting. anything to avoid being made fun of.
I don't know, my girlfriend was pretty excited by the prospect of teaching me our first night together and I was upfront with her about my being a virgin once we got into personal talks. Some people are into it.
There wasn't really much of an 'asking her out' point or really any kind of courting. We started talking just over some D&D and turns out she's really into nerdy guys that like the things she likes, and there's a lot of overlap in those fields with us. The night we first talked she made plans to come over to visit the next day since she lived close by. She did, we spent the day just playing some icebreaker games she brought, talking more, flirting back and forth a little, and then by around 8pm she just flat out said "I've decided I'm staying the night", texted her ride that she was staying and that was that. She was the one that took the interest and initiated, I just reciprocated because there was a cute girl that was actually interested in me enough that she took the lead.
My only issue with having it so late is that I've suffered more nerve damage from my conditions that it combined with being nervous caused me a bit of strife the first night but she was understanding and didn't make me feel bad about it. Once the first night had come and gone and my nerves weren't so fried it was a night and day difference, and there's more to learn than just PIV.
well i'm sure a part of you is glad you avoided becoming a 40 year old virgin, you avoided Steve Carrell's character barely, but another reminder, lots of people feel that movie is an insult and mockery to people who have not had sex by the time they have reached their mid-20s. Before you met your GF, were there ever times you considered paying for sex, with an escort or sex worker?
Yeah, definitely, but the idea of paying out $800+ for someone that was at least assured to not be a trafficking victim or diseased was far outside my cost range.
I literally just spoke to her man, I wish there was some kind of secret to share with it. I was scrolling a local area community for tabletop games, she was looking for some people to talk about her homebrew setting for her first ever DMing attempt. I've been running tabletop games for 22 years and figured I had a lot of advice I could give a fledgling DM, I started talking to her, complimented her ideas, asked questions and she started asking to VC. Once we started talking directly the topic of D&D was pretty much pushed aside and within 3 hours of first messaging her we were making plans for her to visit me because she was very close by and the age difference was a benefit since she's into older guys.
We had a lot of similar interests and she turned out to be super into guys that can talk nerd stuff with her, somehow she'd never run into anyone else that had that same kind of interest that was local so I ended up being a dream match for her because she could actually talk about all these things she liked and get actual input and enthusiasm from me instead of "Oh I guess that's cool". Actually just luck of the draw that we found each other and we were both just doing our thing looking to talk about a mutual interest, two nerds looking for nerds. You just have to find or make opportunities to be social, it took two years for me with dozens of failed attempts a month, but it worked out in the end because I just powered through the anxiety and fear of rejection with the thought that "If I don't make the effort, I will actually die alone and that's more painful than being ghosted".
You don't know how it's going to be if you get that opportunity, maybe your inexperience won't be a big deal at all, or your partner will enjoy helping you explore things for that first time.
I don't know about other men, but for me, I would not make you feel ashamed for lack of experience. For me, I would value that highly. I have had a few virgins in my life (when I was much younger), and always felt special and made them feel special, because it is. Almost like a kid seeing Disneyland or something for the first time.
I would love to find a virgin (female), any age. Whether it was for just the first time or leads to a relationship, I find that quite special. Even if a lesbian, who just wants to experience it.
Losing it as a teen is the best thing. I remember how my libido was very high during teen years. I get turned on even for the slightest things.
But I have now accepted that my teen years have gone many years ago. Now it's time for me to make use of whatever I have. Better to lose it at thirty than at 35 or 40 or 50.
Eats away at me every day. Doesn't help that not losing it as a teen was easy picking for bullies, always saying that I've missed out on something that is now illegal to experience.
I have had the chance to f a few OF girls, but I don't want to lose it that way. Rather be with someone who I am in a relationship with, "HaVe It MeAn SoMtHinG" or whatever
Honestly don’t think it’s that special. Unless you’re saving for marriage I don’t see the point. First time is probably gonna be your worst time. But I lost my virginity from a tinder hook up so what do I know lol
I can't even get girls to respond on Tinder so you are already a step ahead of me
Maybe 1 or two who might have been trying to hook up but I never did anything about it.
Tinder and Bumble suck honestly
How do you know? I mean I haven’t lost it and I’m 22, would wager a guess that there’s a 90% chance I don’t lose it in the next few years. Probably will have to have an established life and have everything stable. That plus overcoming anxiety and dealing with rejection and being self aware in some ways. Have you moved out of your home town, perhaps living in a metropolitan city?
i had a chance at 20 and i never thought it would come back to haunt me so many years later, the way that opportunity happend, it occured in a way that no one would never expect
Your sensations can't increase as you age. [The opposite usually happens.](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/004023.htm#:~:text=Nerves%20extend%20out%20from%20the,every%20part%20of%20your%20body.&text=As%20you%20age%2C%20your%20brain,slowly%20than%20in%20the%20past)
Depends on what you mean "get over it". If you mean it as in, focus on other things not sex-related in your life, then I agree with you. If you mean that women won't care about you being an older virgin, then yes, it is delusional.
You all need to change your environment.
You clearly can't get it where you're at.
Increase exposure and exercise.
Do not watch XXX shit.
3 months, you'll get it.
There are many beautiful men/women out there waiting.
Look, the first time is always awkward and confusing because you have no reference point for how to do things and what you might like. Its ok to be new at something though, and you might do well by finding someone more experienced to help you enjoy yourself through your first time.
What would your ideal first time partner be?
Ummmm look!! It's not that important. No teen who lost their virginity don't have a good memory about it, it's embarrassing for them cuz they didn't have enough experience you know
I did a research about it and trust me, sex feels the same even at 70
> I did a research about it and trust me, sex feels the same even at 70
That can't be possible. I mean physically, men get ED and women get osteoporosis, making most movements borderline painful.
Just reminding that it's not too late, cuz you didn't do that before doesn't mean it's over or you are done. I feel the same (23M) probably virgin but I'm so close to have girls so you can do that too and its fun you know
Viagra, just like other erection pills work by forcing the heart to pump blood to a specific area. This is the reason why erection pills can cause heart attacks. It's also true that the more of these pills men take, the more dependant they become on them, as the body no longer needs to get an erection on its own. I will never take an erection pill for those reasons.
It’s better to be a virgin bride that to look for a husband as a non-virgin. A lot of good men that are ready for marriage always prefer a pure woman to be their bride. You should not be feeling bad about yourself, instead you should feel proud. You are not like all the other girls. You are a prize, you are the top 1% of females in the world who is so precious. A lot of girls regret losing their virginity as a teen because teen love doesn’t last most of the time. And so you will be left feeling used and thrown away. Your chances of finding marriage will then decrease and you will then wish you kept your purity and not give it to someone undeserving. Save it for someone that commits to you because that’s the only way a man should earn such a thing.
I had zero chance as a teen or 20's and about to be 40 and still waiting:(
How unfortunate, I almost 56 years old and I'm a virgin too. It's not because I want to be, it's anxiety. I think I've dealt with it though.
so relatable. it only gets more awkward and embarrassing when the time comes as an adult, im not sure whats worse remaining a virgin or getting that opportunity but feeling so ashamed afterwards due to lack of experience that showed all the way through, leading to whoever you end up having sex with becoming no longer interested due to them obviously not wanting to teach an x year old adult how to fuck, kiss and act in a relationship. no one should have to teach anyone how to date, it should just come naturally with time (so they say) if you're normal and know how to do things correctly, but if not then this is just another worry to add to your list. prepare for a lot of uncomfortable conversations that may be had in the future like screening questions on first dates such as asking about past relationships, preference in guys/girls and other things you might have to lie about if you're at the age where you can no longer use studying or working on yourself as an excuse, but even then i think i'd rather just stay where i am. again, not even sure whats worse. i feel absolutely ashamed. every interaction with someone my age feels like im back at school waiting for them to insult me. i dont even bother talking much at work anymore because of this and past remarks about my voice, accent and stutter. people are so cruel
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Maybe being upfront about it with any potential partner will be the key. yeah i mean i think it all depends on how you are, and who you know. my biggest fear is having that person tll everyone who i went to school with/who made fun of me, and it going around that i didnt do anything at school relationship and sex wise and the bullying starting again. doesnt help i work in a very busy place (retail) with lots of girls my age, but also so many familar faces from school and just past people who ive worked with. i still feel so much shame that i'll end up being exposed for not having a life. recently started this job and already having to lie about having friends, plans on my days off with these said "friends" just to fit in and seem interesting. anything to avoid being made fun of.
This is so sad it's like you're bullying yourself in advance :(
I don't know, my girlfriend was pretty excited by the prospect of teaching me our first night together and I was upfront with her about my being a virgin once we got into personal talks. Some people are into it.
i assume with your GF, you were the one that asked her out and courted her, how do you feel about not having had sex until later in life?
There wasn't really much of an 'asking her out' point or really any kind of courting. We started talking just over some D&D and turns out she's really into nerdy guys that like the things she likes, and there's a lot of overlap in those fields with us. The night we first talked she made plans to come over to visit the next day since she lived close by. She did, we spent the day just playing some icebreaker games she brought, talking more, flirting back and forth a little, and then by around 8pm she just flat out said "I've decided I'm staying the night", texted her ride that she was staying and that was that. She was the one that took the interest and initiated, I just reciprocated because there was a cute girl that was actually interested in me enough that she took the lead. My only issue with having it so late is that I've suffered more nerve damage from my conditions that it combined with being nervous caused me a bit of strife the first night but she was understanding and didn't make me feel bad about it. Once the first night had come and gone and my nerves weren't so fried it was a night and day difference, and there's more to learn than just PIV.
well i'm sure a part of you is glad you avoided becoming a 40 year old virgin, you avoided Steve Carrell's character barely, but another reminder, lots of people feel that movie is an insult and mockery to people who have not had sex by the time they have reached their mid-20s. Before you met your GF, were there ever times you considered paying for sex, with an escort or sex worker?
Yeah, definitely, but the idea of paying out $800+ for someone that was at least assured to not be a trafficking victim or diseased was far outside my cost range.
How old were you at the time?
I was 38 and she's 27, this happened a little over two weeks ago for me, and my 39th birthday was just yesterday.
What kind witchcraft did you as 38 yo virgin, used to get a girl 11 younger than you? Tell us
I literally just spoke to her man, I wish there was some kind of secret to share with it. I was scrolling a local area community for tabletop games, she was looking for some people to talk about her homebrew setting for her first ever DMing attempt. I've been running tabletop games for 22 years and figured I had a lot of advice I could give a fledgling DM, I started talking to her, complimented her ideas, asked questions and she started asking to VC. Once we started talking directly the topic of D&D was pretty much pushed aside and within 3 hours of first messaging her we were making plans for her to visit me because she was very close by and the age difference was a benefit since she's into older guys. We had a lot of similar interests and she turned out to be super into guys that can talk nerd stuff with her, somehow she'd never run into anyone else that had that same kind of interest that was local so I ended up being a dream match for her because she could actually talk about all these things she liked and get actual input and enthusiasm from me instead of "Oh I guess that's cool". Actually just luck of the draw that we found each other and we were both just doing our thing looking to talk about a mutual interest, two nerds looking for nerds. You just have to find or make opportunities to be social, it took two years for me with dozens of failed attempts a month, but it worked out in the end because I just powered through the anxiety and fear of rejection with the thought that "If I don't make the effort, I will actually die alone and that's more painful than being ghosted".
You don't know how it's going to be if you get that opportunity, maybe your inexperience won't be a big deal at all, or your partner will enjoy helping you explore things for that first time.
I don't know about other men, but for me, I would not make you feel ashamed for lack of experience. For me, I would value that highly. I have had a few virgins in my life (when I was much younger), and always felt special and made them feel special, because it is. Almost like a kid seeing Disneyland or something for the first time. I would love to find a virgin (female), any age. Whether it was for just the first time or leads to a relationship, I find that quite special. Even if a lesbian, who just wants to experience it.
Losing it as a teen is the best thing. I remember how my libido was very high during teen years. I get turned on even for the slightest things. But I have now accepted that my teen years have gone many years ago. Now it's time for me to make use of whatever I have. Better to lose it at thirty than at 35 or 40 or 50.
I don't know - teenage sex can suck. Waiting can be a really good option!
Eats away at me every day. Doesn't help that not losing it as a teen was easy picking for bullies, always saying that I've missed out on something that is now illegal to experience.
💯
No you don't. Just because you missed your chance then doesn't mean the door is closed now
Exactly I lost mine at 24.
As a virgin who is about to turn 24, this gives me hope lol
I lost mine 3 days ago at 25, don't lose hope buddy
👊 Congrats and thanks bro. Trying to keep it up.
The first one is always the hardest
I have had the chance to f a few OF girls, but I don't want to lose it that way. Rather be with someone who I am in a relationship with, "HaVe It MeAn SoMtHinG" or whatever
Honestly don’t think it’s that special. Unless you’re saving for marriage I don’t see the point. First time is probably gonna be your worst time. But I lost my virginity from a tinder hook up so what do I know lol
I can't even get girls to respond on Tinder so you are already a step ahead of me Maybe 1 or two who might have been trying to hook up but I never did anything about it. Tinder and Bumble suck honestly
They do suck they used to be better. The best thing you can do is just improve yourself. Work out, eat healthy, save money, study.
I am trying 🫡
If you really want to just lose your virginity, go to a poor country, Colombia, Philippines, etc.
I’m about to turn 30 and slept with about 50 women now. Honestly not proud of that lol I definitely slowed down. And don’t hook up anymore.
How do you know? I mean I haven’t lost it and I’m 22, would wager a guess that there’s a 90% chance I don’t lose it in the next few years. Probably will have to have an established life and have everything stable. That plus overcoming anxiety and dealing with rejection and being self aware in some ways. Have you moved out of your home town, perhaps living in a metropolitan city?
Yeah, youre supposed to have your first sexual experiences with girls in their sexual bloom years Sex in your 20s wont compensate that
*or boys But I understand what you mean
i had a chance at 20 and i never thought it would come back to haunt me so many years later, the way that opportunity happend, it occured in a way that no one would never expect
As a woman your sex drive increases as you age, as well as your sensations, your complaining is contrary to biology.
Your sensations can't increase as you age. [The opposite usually happens.](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/004023.htm#:~:text=Nerves%20extend%20out%20from%20the,every%20part%20of%20your%20body.&text=As%20you%20age%2C%20your%20brain,slowly%20than%20in%20the%20past)
U just don’t get it
What part do I not get, the basic biology?
They’re gone now, stop worrying about them. Dwelling gets you nowhere
Delusion also gets you nowhere.
It’s not delusional to get over it
Depends on what you mean "get over it". If you mean it as in, focus on other things not sex-related in your life, then I agree with you. If you mean that women won't care about you being an older virgin, then yes, it is delusional.
One, she’s a woman. Two, I mean both. Three, that can be true. You feeling some kind of way about it doesn’t make you right
Oh, sorry I thought it was a man. In that case, my points don't really apply.
Why do you regret it? Its not really important when you lose it.
lol. Funny username
girl having sex will not change your mindset, it’d probably make it worse
You all need to change your environment. You clearly can't get it where you're at. Increase exposure and exercise. Do not watch XXX shit. 3 months, you'll get it. There are many beautiful men/women out there waiting.
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Removed. This comes off as trolling.
I haven’t lost my yet and I’m 31 school is more important than this for me
Look, the first time is always awkward and confusing because you have no reference point for how to do things and what you might like. Its ok to be new at something though, and you might do well by finding someone more experienced to help you enjoy yourself through your first time. What would your ideal first time partner be?
Ummmm look!! It's not that important. No teen who lost their virginity don't have a good memory about it, it's embarrassing for them cuz they didn't have enough experience you know I did a research about it and trust me, sex feels the same even at 70
Thank god, I hope I lose it before I'm 70 but that's only a little over 14 years away for me.
> I did a research about it and trust me, sex feels the same even at 70 That can't be possible. I mean physically, men get ED and women get osteoporosis, making most movements borderline painful.
Not the movement nigga, erection feeling
Again, many if not most men by that age get ED.
Just reminding that it's not too late, cuz you didn't do that before doesn't mean it's over or you are done. I feel the same (23M) probably virgin but I'm so close to have girls so you can do that too and its fun you know
I mean, yeah you're right, it's fun to be sexually attractive. I just can't relate.
How do you know that is there a girl-o-meter you can buy from amazon?
😂😂😂 just tried so many times and succeeding
I see. I misunderstood lol
Have you ever heard of a little item called a cock ring?
... and you won't even need that the first time if you have viagra.
Viagra, just like other erection pills work by forcing the heart to pump blood to a specific area. This is the reason why erection pills can cause heart attacks. It's also true that the more of these pills men take, the more dependant they become on them, as the body no longer needs to get an erection on its own. I will never take an erection pill for those reasons.
A cock ring works every time if you need it, no danger to the heart.
I don't know what this is.
Google it.
Not it doesn't feel the same even at 30, stop lying.
It’s better to be a virgin bride that to look for a husband as a non-virgin. A lot of good men that are ready for marriage always prefer a pure woman to be their bride. You should not be feeling bad about yourself, instead you should feel proud. You are not like all the other girls. You are a prize, you are the top 1% of females in the world who is so precious. A lot of girls regret losing their virginity as a teen because teen love doesn’t last most of the time. And so you will be left feeling used and thrown away. Your chances of finding marriage will then decrease and you will then wish you kept your purity and not give it to someone undeserving. Save it for someone that commits to you because that’s the only way a man should earn such a thing.
I have to agree. I am looking for a virgin, not just for sex, but a relationship. To me, it is special. And safer disease-wise.
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Ok and that helps how? Will you study and develop skills like the Marquis De Sade so when the chance comes up you'll be irresistible to women?