No, it’s not normal. The rehearsal dinner, like every other part of a wedding, is the couple’s responsibility to pay for. On top of that, the purpose of a rehearsal dinner is to thank your family & wedding party for giving up this extra time for you - it’s not much of a thanks if you make them pay for it.
If you’re covering the bill, then you also don’t have to go. Just decline the invitation.
The rehearsal dinner is thanking people for coming to the rehearsal! It’s not a thank you if you have to pay. 100% NOT the norm, and not acceptable from an etiquette standpoint.
Still gift? Like give him a wedding gift? Depends on how much you spend on other things — like if you spend $1000 getting to the wedding and accomodations and another $200 on a suit … another $1000 at a bachelor party. No. I would give a card. You probably are responsible for organizing the bachelor party tho!
Suit and shoes was $500, bachelor party I couldn’t attend ( flew out of country) day off work is $300 in loss of wages, so I’m really only down $800 not including paying for the rehearsal dinner.
I was a bit put back for covering our own rehearsal dinner however. ( mine and my wife’s)
Dude — no. Just say no, you can’t do that. Plain and simple.
And, your groom should be understanding of your financial commitment already. Write a nice card.
Ha ha what the absolute fuck. A rehearsal dinner is, traditionally, a way to thank the people involved in the wedding. "Hey you had to get here, you had to spend your time rehearsing for the wedding, let us take you out to dinner." Like seriously who the hell puts that cost on their guests?
No. Not normal hahaha. This normally falls to the parents of the groom. 100% not normal.
“Sorry, groom — I cannot cover the rehearsal costs. I am happy to be there to support you! I am pretty sure this normally falls to the grooms parents.”
I like this approach minus telling the couple who should be paying for it. You can just let them know you’ll be at the rehearsal to practice the flow of the ceremony, but you cant cover the dinner costs so you’ll be leaving after the official rehearsal part.
I get what you’re saying—you’d want to prevent your friend from committing a faux pas! The issue is I think it’d come off a bit passive aggressive and it’s possible the groom/bride know they’re traditionally supposed to cover it and deliberately decided not to. It might create more friction. Just communicating they won’t come for the dinner gets enough of the point across I think, and if the groom asks, then OP can say he didn’t budget for it because it’s traditionally covered.
And since at our wedding, we're paying for everything with no help, we're not paying for the dinner either. People don't have to come eat with us if they don't want to.
Weird. Being in a wedding is already so expensive with the suit rental, travel costs, etc. Plus, you are being invited to this dinner and it's also a way to say thank you. Very tacky and uncommon. If it were me I would be petty and skip out on the dinner.
I was in a wedding that did this. For me, it was a red flag of other issues. They insisted everyone pay them their share immediately after the dinner (one glass of wine and entree was $60), then got upset when people weren’t informed the bride had a new venmo and tried to get us to send it all again instead of accessing their old venmo. It was also a Tuesday wedding in the middle of nowhere and so a lot of people missed 3 days of work and spent $$$ money so that the couple could have a cheaper wedding. In hindsight, I would have declined to participate in the wedding.
You would not be unreasonable to let them know you can not attend the dinner, and I’d be asking them about other aspects of the wedding and expected expenses.
Not normal. If your attendance is mandatory, you should not have to pay. If you have to pay, your attendance should be optional and you should decline. If he says both attendance and payment are mandatory, I would point out how unrealistic this is and if he doesn’t budge, consider telling him you cannot meet his expectations of a groomsman and are stepping down from the role.
This is not normal at all. We didn't have a real rehearsal dinner, just a gathering at our house with the bridal party and their spouses where we went over everything for the day. We ordered takeout from a restaurant that we all like, and my husband and I split the cost. I couldn't imagine asking them to pay themselves.
Totally not normal! I was a bridesmaid and I didn’t have to cover anything. It’s included in the couples wedding cost. As a soon to be 2024 bride, I could never ask that of my wedding party. It’s a meal to the party because they are spending extra time out of their schedules to practice for the wedding. I would politely decline.
What like does he mean the food at the rehearsal dinner?
Tbh I’ve heard of people making other people do this at weddings but it’s tacky as hell and definitely not normal.
No!
There is a word I am thinking of, it is … cheap! Groom’s family pays for rehearsal dinner. If other arrangements have been made, no wedding party or invited guests should ever know about the finances.
If you are committed to being a groomsman, speak to the bride about the finances.
Absolutely NOT normal. Traditionally a post-rehearsal dinner or welcome party is the responsibility of the groom's family. No matter how things have changed, any such wedding-eve event is NEVER the responsibility of guests, especially the wedding party. In fact, the main purpose of a rehearsal dinner or welcome event is to feed and entertain the wedding party, those participating in the rehearsal for the ceremony, and wedding guests from out of town.
I am soooo tired of people trying to have big-budget or fancier events on the backs of their friends. Tell the groom you're looking forward to rehearsing for the big day and hope the rehearsal dinner is lovely but regret that you cannot attend the dinner. If pressed, just say that you'll need to go home after the rehearsal to rest up for the big day or come up with a lie if you need to about another sudden commitment. Heck, regardless of how much money I have, I'd refuse to attend an (outrageous!) guest-pay rehearsal dinner just on principle.
The whole point of the rehearsal dinner is to thank the wedding party for being a part of their wedding. So no, it’s extremely tacky for them to ask you to pay for your own meal at the rehearsal dinner. And the gift you give them is being a groomsman.
No that's not normal or very considerate. And I think the wedding party doesn't have to give a gift anyway. Write a card if you feel the need to do something.
The rehearsal dinner should cost you nothing. Usually it’s the grooms parents or the couple who pay. If you do decide to go then no gift is necessary. You don’t need to attend. It’s not required.
You'd be surprised the amount of couples that do this. I'm in some FB wedding groups & shocked by how many say that their party has to pay for their own food/drinks at rehearsal dinner. I'd be so flippin embarrassed to suggest such a thing to my party! If they can't afford to take the party out to dinner, order pizzas & supply drinks at someone's home or a park... Anything as long as they're not making the party pay for themselves. That's just ridiculous!!
And no, you don't need to give a wedding gift. You've had a big enough expense as it is. No bride & groom should expect a gift from anyone in their party.
That’s not normal at all. The whole point is for them to host you for dinner. I also think a gift is totally optional. You are already giving and spending A LOT to be in their wedding. That is gift enough.
It’s not normal, or at least it hasn’t been in the past where groom’s parents typically paid for the rehearsal dinner. Sounds like they’re rewriting etiquette rules to suit themselves. Pretty cheap of the groom’s parents, just as cheap to hoist the dinner cost onto family and friends who are graciously giving up their time and energy and effort to make sure the couple have a good wedding!
As a bride, my fiance and I do not expect gifts from our wedding party at all. We are the ones giving them the gifts for doing this for us.
And we’re certainly paying for the rehearsal dinner, since that’s our responsibility to host them and thank them!
Nope. Couple covers the venue, the food, desserts and drinks ( if it’s at a restaurant they may cover 1-2 alcoholic beverages, and the guest could vets anything beyond that).
Absolutely not!
We are getting married on a budget as my fiance has cancer, our rehearsal dinner is a takeaway for everyone and a giggle about the upcoming event...absolutely no way would we expect anyone to cover the costs.
Nope not normal at all!!! It's so odd people have weddings they cannot afford. The purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to thank everyone involved in the wedding. So it's crazy they make you pay. I saw you mention the $50 but I wouldn't even do that because it's such an awkward amount but also you should not give more than that to begin with. What you can do is go on Etsy and buy a wine sticker label (about $7) that says like Mr. And Mrs. ______ and the date of the wedding. And then slap it on a bottle of champagne with a card. Cheaper than $50 but doesn't look as odd as a card with $50 in it. If that makes sense.
I don't think you should do more than a card because of what you've spent to support the wedding. If you want to add $50 to that card, there's nothing wrong with the amount. I've consistently seen that gifting what you can afford is acceptable until this comment section. The trolls need to return to their bridges.
I think you didn't read what I wrote lol $50 is too much to give truthfully. I think it's silly this bride and groom is even making op pay for a rehearsal dinner. So it's cheaper, as I said, to give a bottle of wine instead of awkwardly giving $50. The bride and groom do not deserve the cash, is the point. If I had someone ask i pay for my own rehearsal dinner after I spent all this money on them, I am not giving more money. The point is that OP shouldn't even GIVE $50. A bottle of wine with some sentimental stuff on it should do the trick. The $50 is being used towards the rehearsal dinner in my opinion. I'm not giving a couple MORE cash after they just absorbed a big chunk of mine for just simply being involved in their wedding.
Well, what you said is $50 is an awkward amount. I don't think OP deserved criticism for the amount he was considering. I agree with you that he shouldn't be worried about a monetary gift at all. $500 is a lot of money to shell out for a suit.
It totally is, I don't know why people are being weird. It's on the lower end for a wedding gift but as a member of the wedding party that should be expected since you've already spent so much.
I feel like people are implying that $50 is so low it's not worth giving but I don't agree with that at all.
I think $50 is almost TOO much is the point?? I guess my explanation did not explain well lol OP is paying all this money to begin with. The point is that $50 is like an awkward amount to give, and it is TOO much to give when Op is paying all this money already. It is CHEAPER to buy a bottle of wine with a sticker on it
At 1st, I thought you meant he wanted you to foot the bill for the entire rehearsal dinner...
I had a few things to say about that... and in the end, I was going to say why not just everyone to pay for their own meal?
Then I reread your post & my answer is actually the same...
While it's usual for the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner...I don't know what the situation is, and obviously, there must be something...
So just pay for your meal..and you normally don't give a gift for a rehearsal dinner...though yes at the wedding you should...
Unless they are also asking guests to pay for their meals at the wedding... then that's just too much.
I’m sure I’ll get downvoted to hell for this but not everyone’s parents can afford to cover the whole rehearsal dinner. I’ve been to two weddings where the rehearsal dinner was more of a friendly gathering and guests paid their own way. Just reality 🤷🏻♀️
I think if you can’t afford to host your wedding party for a rehearsal dinner, then you just can’t have one. The whole point of it is to be a thank you for being in the wedding and giving up extra time to participate in the rehearsal.
Not complaining, maybe read my original post. I’ve never been in a wedding before and asked if it was normal to cover the cost on my own. I’ve already spent $800+ to be in this wedding and I don’t make much more then 40-50k a year.
It's not uppity. Asking your groomsmen to pay for their rehearsal dinner meal would be similar to asking them to pay for the meal at the wedding. It's really strange.
I would definitely say not to do a rehearsal dinner before ever expecting my wedding party to pay for their own food for an event that I invited them to with societal pressure to attend
It is a big deal. A rehearsal dinner is a hosted event, not an ADDITIONAL cost to your wedding party. The entire point is to thank the wedding party for their time and effort. If you can’t afford to host it then you can’t afford to have one.
Splitting the check at the rehearsal dinner (basically what OP is asking about) is tacky. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a thank-you to the wedding party.
No, it’s not normal. The rehearsal dinner, like every other part of a wedding, is the couple’s responsibility to pay for. On top of that, the purpose of a rehearsal dinner is to thank your family & wedding party for giving up this extra time for you - it’s not much of a thanks if you make them pay for it. If you’re covering the bill, then you also don’t have to go. Just decline the invitation.
Nope. Often it is the groom's family, or the couple themselves.
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The rehearsal dinner is thanking people for coming to the rehearsal! It’s not a thank you if you have to pay. 100% NOT the norm, and not acceptable from an etiquette standpoint.
Still gift? Like give him a wedding gift? Depends on how much you spend on other things — like if you spend $1000 getting to the wedding and accomodations and another $200 on a suit … another $1000 at a bachelor party. No. I would give a card. You probably are responsible for organizing the bachelor party tho!
Suit and shoes was $500, bachelor party I couldn’t attend ( flew out of country) day off work is $300 in loss of wages, so I’m really only down $800 not including paying for the rehearsal dinner. I was a bit put back for covering our own rehearsal dinner however. ( mine and my wife’s)
Dude — no. Just say no, you can’t do that. Plain and simple. And, your groom should be understanding of your financial commitment already. Write a nice card.
Thanks for the advice. I was going to gift like max $50 tbh between me and my wife.
If you paid $800+ and paid for your dinner, you don't need to give a gift.
$50 isn’t much. I would write a card and just thank them for allowing you to be part of their day.
I wouldn’t expect ANY money from someone in the bridal party that paid that much…
$50 is a perfectly acceptable wedding gift depending on social group, culture, geography, etc. Saying it’s “not much” is quite rude.
Sometimes that's all someone can scrape together, and there's nothing wrong with it. Saying it's not much is pretty rude.
$50 is all I’m giving anyone. Especially if I had to buy/pay for other shit to participate. Cash or something off your registry but $50 is it.
They’re being very rude expecting you to pay to do them a favor.
Ha ha what the absolute fuck. A rehearsal dinner is, traditionally, a way to thank the people involved in the wedding. "Hey you had to get here, you had to spend your time rehearsing for the wedding, let us take you out to dinner." Like seriously who the hell puts that cost on their guests?
No. Not normal hahaha. This normally falls to the parents of the groom. 100% not normal. “Sorry, groom — I cannot cover the rehearsal costs. I am happy to be there to support you! I am pretty sure this normally falls to the grooms parents.”
I like this approach minus telling the couple who should be paying for it. You can just let them know you’ll be at the rehearsal to practice the flow of the ceremony, but you cant cover the dinner costs so you’ll be leaving after the official rehearsal part.
I mean, if the couple thinks it’s typically up to the groomsmen, it’s good to tell them who typically it falls to.
I get what you’re saying—you’d want to prevent your friend from committing a faux pas! The issue is I think it’d come off a bit passive aggressive and it’s possible the groom/bride know they’re traditionally supposed to cover it and deliberately decided not to. It might create more friction. Just communicating they won’t come for the dinner gets enough of the point across I think, and if the groom asks, then OP can say he didn’t budget for it because it’s traditionally covered.
That makes sense! But it’s totally weird to assume the groom would pay!! I mean groomsmen!!!!
It has always been the groom’s responsibility, it’s not weird at all to expect the couple to pay for rehearsal dinner.
What’s the grooms responsibility??
Traditionally the bride’s family covered the wedding expenses. The groom’s family covered the rehearsal costs.
And since at our wedding, we're paying for everything with no help, we're not paying for the dinner either. People don't have to come eat with us if they don't want to.
It's not weird at all.
Or the bride and groom.
Not normal at all
Attend the rehearsal, decline the dinner
We married in our 40s, we paid for the rehearsal dinner ourselves ( BBQ buffet) for the bridal party & out of town quests, so about 40 people.
You are wonderful people!
Weird. Being in a wedding is already so expensive with the suit rental, travel costs, etc. Plus, you are being invited to this dinner and it's also a way to say thank you. Very tacky and uncommon. If it were me I would be petty and skip out on the dinner.
Sounds like it’s gonna be a cash bar at the reception too!
I was in a wedding that did this. For me, it was a red flag of other issues. They insisted everyone pay them their share immediately after the dinner (one glass of wine and entree was $60), then got upset when people weren’t informed the bride had a new venmo and tried to get us to send it all again instead of accessing their old venmo. It was also a Tuesday wedding in the middle of nowhere and so a lot of people missed 3 days of work and spent $$$ money so that the couple could have a cheaper wedding. In hindsight, I would have declined to participate in the wedding. You would not be unreasonable to let them know you can not attend the dinner, and I’d be asking them about other aspects of the wedding and expected expenses.
Absolutely not normal. The rehearsal dinner is on the couple getting married.
Why do people have a wedding they can't afford.
Not normal. If your attendance is mandatory, you should not have to pay. If you have to pay, your attendance should be optional and you should decline. If he says both attendance and payment are mandatory, I would point out how unrealistic this is and if he doesn’t budge, consider telling him you cannot meet his expectations of a groomsman and are stepping down from the role.
No this is not normal.
This is not normal at all. We didn't have a real rehearsal dinner, just a gathering at our house with the bridal party and their spouses where we went over everything for the day. We ordered takeout from a restaurant that we all like, and my husband and I split the cost. I couldn't imagine asking them to pay themselves.
That is a real rehearsal dinner!
Totally not normal! I was a bridesmaid and I didn’t have to cover anything. It’s included in the couples wedding cost. As a soon to be 2024 bride, I could never ask that of my wedding party. It’s a meal to the party because they are spending extra time out of their schedules to practice for the wedding. I would politely decline.
No. That’s so expensive wtf 😂
😂😂😂 and youre still asking about a gift? The answer is that you step down from being a groomsman and attend as just a regular guest
For real
What like does he mean the food at the rehearsal dinner? Tbh I’ve heard of people making other people do this at weddings but it’s tacky as hell and definitely not normal.
Yes everyone is responsible for their own plate and have to pay out of their own pocket. I figured it was tacky and simply rude
No! There is a word I am thinking of, it is … cheap! Groom’s family pays for rehearsal dinner. If other arrangements have been made, no wedding party or invited guests should ever know about the finances. If you are committed to being a groomsman, speak to the bride about the finances.
Absolutely NOT normal. Traditionally a post-rehearsal dinner or welcome party is the responsibility of the groom's family. No matter how things have changed, any such wedding-eve event is NEVER the responsibility of guests, especially the wedding party. In fact, the main purpose of a rehearsal dinner or welcome event is to feed and entertain the wedding party, those participating in the rehearsal for the ceremony, and wedding guests from out of town. I am soooo tired of people trying to have big-budget or fancier events on the backs of their friends. Tell the groom you're looking forward to rehearsing for the big day and hope the rehearsal dinner is lovely but regret that you cannot attend the dinner. If pressed, just say that you'll need to go home after the rehearsal to rest up for the big day or come up with a lie if you need to about another sudden commitment. Heck, regardless of how much money I have, I'd refuse to attend an (outrageous!) guest-pay rehearsal dinner just on principle.
Drop out of wedding at this point. Ha
Lol absolutely never. They're trying to screw you over.
The whole point of the rehearsal dinner is to thank the wedding party for being a part of their wedding. So no, it’s extremely tacky for them to ask you to pay for your own meal at the rehearsal dinner. And the gift you give them is being a groomsman.
The rehearsal dinner is usually the grooms family’s responsibility - NEVER a groomsmen’s.
NOOOOOOO!
No that's not normal or very considerate. And I think the wedding party doesn't have to give a gift anyway. Write a card if you feel the need to do something.
No!
The rehearsal dinner should cost you nothing. Usually it’s the grooms parents or the couple who pay. If you do decide to go then no gift is necessary. You don’t need to attend. It’s not required.
You'd be surprised the amount of couples that do this. I'm in some FB wedding groups & shocked by how many say that their party has to pay for their own food/drinks at rehearsal dinner. I'd be so flippin embarrassed to suggest such a thing to my party! If they can't afford to take the party out to dinner, order pizzas & supply drinks at someone's home or a park... Anything as long as they're not making the party pay for themselves. That's just ridiculous!! And no, you don't need to give a wedding gift. You've had a big enough expense as it is. No bride & groom should expect a gift from anyone in their party.
No they cover that
That’s not normal at all. The whole point is for them to host you for dinner. I also think a gift is totally optional. You are already giving and spending A LOT to be in their wedding. That is gift enough.
No
No. Maybe you need to rethink your friend. this dude is trying to shake people down.
How did he phrase it?
It’s not normal, or at least it hasn’t been in the past where groom’s parents typically paid for the rehearsal dinner. Sounds like they’re rewriting etiquette rules to suit themselves. Pretty cheap of the groom’s parents, just as cheap to hoist the dinner cost onto family and friends who are graciously giving up their time and energy and effort to make sure the couple have a good wedding!
Red flag behavior from your friend
As a bride, my fiance and I do not expect gifts from our wedding party at all. We are the ones giving them the gifts for doing this for us. And we’re certainly paying for the rehearsal dinner, since that’s our responsibility to host them and thank them!
The grooms family or the bride and groom pay for that. That is a crazy ask!
Nope. Couple covers the venue, the food, desserts and drinks ( if it’s at a restaurant they may cover 1-2 alcoholic beverages, and the guest could vets anything beyond that).
Absolutely not! We are getting married on a budget as my fiance has cancer, our rehearsal dinner is a takeaway for everyone and a giggle about the upcoming event...absolutely no way would we expect anyone to cover the costs.
Nope not normal at all!!! It's so odd people have weddings they cannot afford. The purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to thank everyone involved in the wedding. So it's crazy they make you pay. I saw you mention the $50 but I wouldn't even do that because it's such an awkward amount but also you should not give more than that to begin with. What you can do is go on Etsy and buy a wine sticker label (about $7) that says like Mr. And Mrs. ______ and the date of the wedding. And then slap it on a bottle of champagne with a card. Cheaper than $50 but doesn't look as odd as a card with $50 in it. If that makes sense.
Why is OP being criticized over a $50 gift? I really need this explained to me because I find it mean spirited.
I thought that would be acceptable I guess not
I don't think you should do more than a card because of what you've spent to support the wedding. If you want to add $50 to that card, there's nothing wrong with the amount. I've consistently seen that gifting what you can afford is acceptable until this comment section. The trolls need to return to their bridges.
I think you didn't read what I wrote lol $50 is too much to give truthfully. I think it's silly this bride and groom is even making op pay for a rehearsal dinner. So it's cheaper, as I said, to give a bottle of wine instead of awkwardly giving $50. The bride and groom do not deserve the cash, is the point. If I had someone ask i pay for my own rehearsal dinner after I spent all this money on them, I am not giving more money. The point is that OP shouldn't even GIVE $50. A bottle of wine with some sentimental stuff on it should do the trick. The $50 is being used towards the rehearsal dinner in my opinion. I'm not giving a couple MORE cash after they just absorbed a big chunk of mine for just simply being involved in their wedding.
Well, what you said is $50 is an awkward amount. I don't think OP deserved criticism for the amount he was considering. I agree with you that he shouldn't be worried about a monetary gift at all. $500 is a lot of money to shell out for a suit.
It totally is, I don't know why people are being weird. It's on the lower end for a wedding gift but as a member of the wedding party that should be expected since you've already spent so much. I feel like people are implying that $50 is so low it's not worth giving but I don't agree with that at all.
I think $50 is almost TOO much is the point?? I guess my explanation did not explain well lol OP is paying all this money to begin with. The point is that $50 is like an awkward amount to give, and it is TOO much to give when Op is paying all this money already. It is CHEAPER to buy a bottle of wine with a sticker on it
What's wrong with a card with $50 in it?
At 1st, I thought you meant he wanted you to foot the bill for the entire rehearsal dinner... I had a few things to say about that... and in the end, I was going to say why not just everyone to pay for their own meal? Then I reread your post & my answer is actually the same... While it's usual for the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner...I don't know what the situation is, and obviously, there must be something... So just pay for your meal..and you normally don't give a gift for a rehearsal dinner...though yes at the wedding you should... Unless they are also asking guests to pay for their meals at the wedding... then that's just too much.
No way!
No way what?
Oh geez, you know what I mean.
I’m sure I’ll get downvoted to hell for this but not everyone’s parents can afford to cover the whole rehearsal dinner. I’ve been to two weddings where the rehearsal dinner was more of a friendly gathering and guests paid their own way. Just reality 🤷🏻♀️
I think if you can’t afford to host your wedding party for a rehearsal dinner, then you just can’t have one. The whole point of it is to be a thank you for being in the wedding and giving up extra time to participate in the rehearsal.
This.
They could have done something more casual or just not had a rehearsal if it was out of budget.
The expectation ultimately falls to the couple not the parents.
His dad own his own company and clears 200k a year lol he works for his dad.
How could I have known that?
For sure, I guess his dad should be able to afford the rehearsal dinner but decided not to for some reason
My parents clear $150k/year and won’t contribute a dime to my wedding 🤷🏻♀️ some just don’t feel it’s their responsibility
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No it’s pretty clear in my post I meant mine and my wife’s plate/ dinner.
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Not complaining, maybe read my original post. I’ve never been in a wedding before and asked if it was normal to cover the cost on my own. I’ve already spent $800+ to be in this wedding and I don’t make much more then 40-50k a year.
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Whether or not he can afford it isn't the point.
I guess theirs a reason you’re getting downvoted.
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It's not uppity. Asking your groomsmen to pay for their rehearsal dinner meal would be similar to asking them to pay for the meal at the wedding. It's really strange.
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I would definitely say not to do a rehearsal dinner before ever expecting my wedding party to pay for their own food for an event that I invited them to with societal pressure to attend
You’re misunderstanding, others are not. And paying for your own meal is definitely a big deal. Totally rude.
It is a big deal. A rehearsal dinner is a hosted event, not an ADDITIONAL cost to your wedding party. The entire point is to thank the wedding party for their time and effort. If you can’t afford to host it then you can’t afford to have one.
I thought the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner.
Not always. People actually pay for their own wedding. 🙂
No
Tell him the wedding party isn't his personal ATM. He can ask for a split check but be clear you can't pay for everyone.
Splitting the check at the rehearsal dinner (basically what OP is asking about) is tacky. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a thank-you to the wedding party.
Ah! I misread. Also I'm not even sure we're having a rehearsal so I'm not knowledgeable on this. We won't have bridesmaids or groomsmen.