Is the bridal party attending the reception (since it’s at the same time)? A reception at 6 without food is super bizarre.
Either way at least in America this seems super rude. I would probably find an excuse to decline attending 😅
I wrote it how it was written on the “flyer “. I’ve never been part of a bridal party before so I’m not familiar with everything….but having been a wedding attendee … it definitely reads like only the bridal party gets fed. My partner seems to think I’d get fed too since I’m his plus one but I think he’s wrong lol
I would honestly ask the couple to clarify what "dinner for only the bridal party" means.
Does that mean ONLY the bridal party is getting a meal?? Or is the bridal party just going to have a separate meal than whatever is being served at the reception?
This schedule is very bizarre to me. If this really means what I think it means and only the "VIP" guests get food privileges, this is very poor etiquette on the couple's part.
I've NEVER heard of a wedding where only certain people get fed while everyone else has to go find something else to do
I would assume it's a separate dinner, cause only grade A assholes would neglect to feed guests at a reception that is at dinnertime. I imagine the dinner for the bridal party is just nicer. I've seen the married couple and select people having separate dishes than the rest of their guests before, so it wouldn't surprise me.
I got married 2 years ago so I was in a bunch of groups haha. I've never seen couples not feed their guests anything at dinner time but obviously it seems some people do that kind of thing apparently
The amount of absolutely insane posts I’ve seen in the groups I’ve joined really boggles the mind. Sometimes it’s hard to believe these people are even real. Maybe you joined more sane groups than I did lol.
It's actually not uncommon in some countries. I experienced this for the first time in the Netherlands and the set up was pretty much what the OP described - there was a two hour gap in the program while the couple had dinner with their family. Guests were expected to do the same and then reconvene for the reception where there were drinks and snacks. On top of this there were also new guests who were only invited to the reception portion so you ended up with three tiers of guests.
I personally prefer the more traditional set up where the guests are all treated equally, but I can understand couples doing this to save costs.
I wouldn't say this is the standard in the Netherlands though? I'm Dutch too but I've never experienced this, and I've had quite a few weddings the last 2 years (including my own in 2022). Day vs evening guests yes, but I've never seen anyone be invited for the day and then hearing 'okay bye, see you tonight'😂
I think it's more common among certain circles, e.g. I think the particular wedding I'm thinking of may have been Catholic?? I had never heard of it at the time but I was told by the people I ended to dining with that it was very normal 🤷♀️
"Catholic gap" weddings are a thing in the states too. My husband is Ukrainian catholic and we wanted to get married in his church, but it would've required us to have a 4 hour gap & we didn't want to do that to our guests. But they still provide dinner in gap weddings here
Yeah I'm looking at this from the perspective of Canadian / US wedding expectations.
If this is a wedding between a couple from a different culture where this is normal, then I definitely don't fault them for handling it this week way.
But if this IS a couple from a similar cultural background as me, this just comes off as rude to me.
I understand not having much money, but if I was trying to plan a wedding on a tight budget, I'd cut out decor and all the unnecessary bells and whistles well before considering cutting food
Oh for sure! The OP didn't mention where they were based so I thought I'd throw in a different perspective in case they are also in the EU.
As a guest, I still find it a very strange experience to have to go out and pay to have a meal somewhere else while I wait, but it's apparently considered normal here 🤷♀️
I do feel the need to add that I've also been to plenty of weddings here where the meal is included, so it's not necessarily the norm, just not uncommon either
When I've attended gap weddings, I usually just go to the bar during the gap and pre game a little. Sometimes I'm hungry so I'll eat a snack, but I've never not gotten food at the reception either
I also experienced this when I travelled to Holland for a wedding. Some of us were given roses then escorted into a private room for a dinner with the bride and groom. The rest of the guests paid for themselves in the hotel restaurant then joined us for reception.
In Ireland not everyone is fed, but you would never be brought to the cermony, excluded from dinner and then brought back in for the reception. You would either be an all day guest or just an evening guest.
Hahaha that first scenario sounds like some strange wedding version of the bachelor 🤣
I think the Irish version makes the most sense to me - if you've made the effort to get dressed up and sit through the ceremony it's just a bit weird to expect someone to then go out and spend more money (because you likely can't just go home in between) and buy their own dinner. I'd be totally fine just being an evening guest though!
I attended a wedding like this; my partner was in the bridal party and all of the bridal party and their +1s were part of the private dinner, but the rest of their guests were not served dinner at the reception. I thought it was incredibly bizarre and in very poor taste, especially since they had guests from out of town who were not in the wedding party (and therefore were not invited to the private dinner). That being said, you should have your partner clarify with the couple.
Q: *Is it typical to feed only the bridal party?*
A: No, everyone who attends the reception should be fed dinner. The reception is taking place over the time most people would eat a meal. They need to be fed enough food to constitute a meal.
Q: *And would you expect the bridal party’s plus ones to be fed as well?*
A: Absolutely
The only way you will know what is happening is to ask the couple.
Yeah. Will have him ask…I’ve never been part of a bridal party and have not been to a crazy amount of weddings so just wanted to gauge how others felt before I even talked to him about it.
Why even bother having a reception without the bride and groom there. How rude. They could have just had the whole wedding day with just the bridal party in attendance!
That is not at all what's being stated here though. Private dinner for bridal party only with no dinner mentioned for guests. Cocktail hour is definitely not mentioned.
Just a thought: is there a possibility this only means that the wedding party is getting an earlier meal because they presumably will be there before the ceremony and so waiting with food until regular dinner time would be too long..?
Are the ceremony guests also invited to the reception or is there people only coming to the reception..?
Still seems off tho ngl
This is a such a bizarre timeline. Is the ceremony two hours long or is there just an insane amount of down time between the bits guests are meant to attend? Two separate meals at best, food for *only* the bridal party at worst?? I have so many questions lol
It's pretty common for the bridal party to be provided with a meal during the pictures since they're busy helping the couple and unable to attend a regular meal. However, it's less common for plus ones to be included in this, as they aren't typically involved in the pre-reception activities. It can definitely vary depending on the couple's decisions and the specifics of their wedding day schedule. It's always best to check directly with the couple or the wedding planner for clarification. If you're the plus one, you might want to plan for your own meal just in case, or see if there's a place you can wait and have a bite nearby during the photo session. It’s a thoughtful gesture when plus ones are included, but not always a given. Hope that helps!
Is the bridal party attending the reception (since it’s at the same time)? A reception at 6 without food is super bizarre. Either way at least in America this seems super rude. I would probably find an excuse to decline attending 😅
I wrote it how it was written on the “flyer “. I’ve never been part of a bridal party before so I’m not familiar with everything….but having been a wedding attendee … it definitely reads like only the bridal party gets fed. My partner seems to think I’d get fed too since I’m his plus one but I think he’s wrong lol
Very odd. Maybe the bridal party is doing a private dinner while the rest of the guests eat dinner? I would have him ask the couple for clarification.
I’ll have him ask. Just so awkward! Lol
I would honestly ask the couple to clarify what "dinner for only the bridal party" means. Does that mean ONLY the bridal party is getting a meal?? Or is the bridal party just going to have a separate meal than whatever is being served at the reception? This schedule is very bizarre to me. If this really means what I think it means and only the "VIP" guests get food privileges, this is very poor etiquette on the couple's part. I've NEVER heard of a wedding where only certain people get fed while everyone else has to go find something else to do
I would assume it's a separate dinner, cause only grade A assholes would neglect to feed guests at a reception that is at dinnertime. I imagine the dinner for the bridal party is just nicer. I've seen the married couple and select people having separate dishes than the rest of their guests before, so it wouldn't surprise me.
You clearly haven’t been in wedding groups on fb in the past couple years. I see shit like this (not feeding guests) all the time. It’s appalling.
I got married 2 years ago so I was in a bunch of groups haha. I've never seen couples not feed their guests anything at dinner time but obviously it seems some people do that kind of thing apparently
The amount of absolutely insane posts I’ve seen in the groups I’ve joined really boggles the mind. Sometimes it’s hard to believe these people are even real. Maybe you joined more sane groups than I did lol.
I just never really saw posts regarding food lol. Most of the posts were about budgets, hair/makeup/dresses, decor, or invites haha
They're still grade a assholes
Even that is ridiculous...
Yeah. Ive def seen brides and grooms have a nicer dinner that they didn't offer to guests
It's actually not uncommon in some countries. I experienced this for the first time in the Netherlands and the set up was pretty much what the OP described - there was a two hour gap in the program while the couple had dinner with their family. Guests were expected to do the same and then reconvene for the reception where there were drinks and snacks. On top of this there were also new guests who were only invited to the reception portion so you ended up with three tiers of guests. I personally prefer the more traditional set up where the guests are all treated equally, but I can understand couples doing this to save costs.
So what tier does a groomsmen’s plus one fall in? 😂
Hahaha that I don't know! In Holland we don't normally have bridal parties so that adds another layer...
I wouldn't say this is the standard in the Netherlands though? I'm Dutch too but I've never experienced this, and I've had quite a few weddings the last 2 years (including my own in 2022). Day vs evening guests yes, but I've never seen anyone be invited for the day and then hearing 'okay bye, see you tonight'😂
I think it's more common among certain circles, e.g. I think the particular wedding I'm thinking of may have been Catholic?? I had never heard of it at the time but I was told by the people I ended to dining with that it was very normal 🤷♀️
"Catholic gap" weddings are a thing in the states too. My husband is Ukrainian catholic and we wanted to get married in his church, but it would've required us to have a 4 hour gap & we didn't want to do that to our guests. But they still provide dinner in gap weddings here
Interesting! Will say I don’t have a lot of Catholics around me, so perhaps that’s it 😄
Yeah I'm looking at this from the perspective of Canadian / US wedding expectations. If this is a wedding between a couple from a different culture where this is normal, then I definitely don't fault them for handling it this week way. But if this IS a couple from a similar cultural background as me, this just comes off as rude to me. I understand not having much money, but if I was trying to plan a wedding on a tight budget, I'd cut out decor and all the unnecessary bells and whistles well before considering cutting food
Oh for sure! The OP didn't mention where they were based so I thought I'd throw in a different perspective in case they are also in the EU. As a guest, I still find it a very strange experience to have to go out and pay to have a meal somewhere else while I wait, but it's apparently considered normal here 🤷♀️ I do feel the need to add that I've also been to plenty of weddings here where the meal is included, so it's not necessarily the norm, just not uncommon either
When I've attended gap weddings, I usually just go to the bar during the gap and pre game a little. Sometimes I'm hungry so I'll eat a snack, but I've never not gotten food at the reception either
I also experienced this when I travelled to Holland for a wedding. Some of us were given roses then escorted into a private room for a dinner with the bride and groom. The rest of the guests paid for themselves in the hotel restaurant then joined us for reception. In Ireland not everyone is fed, but you would never be brought to the cermony, excluded from dinner and then brought back in for the reception. You would either be an all day guest or just an evening guest.
Hahaha that first scenario sounds like some strange wedding version of the bachelor 🤣 I think the Irish version makes the most sense to me - if you've made the effort to get dressed up and sit through the ceremony it's just a bit weird to expect someone to then go out and spend more money (because you likely can't just go home in between) and buy their own dinner. I'd be totally fine just being an evening guest though!
That’s super weird. How do you have a reception at 6 pm and not serve dinner? These people be cray-cray.
I attended a wedding like this; my partner was in the bridal party and all of the bridal party and their +1s were part of the private dinner, but the rest of their guests were not served dinner at the reception. I thought it was incredibly bizarre and in very poor taste, especially since they had guests from out of town who were not in the wedding party (and therefore were not invited to the private dinner). That being said, you should have your partner clarify with the couple.
Did it seem like some folks ditched the reception because of this?
Q: *Is it typical to feed only the bridal party?* A: No, everyone who attends the reception should be fed dinner. The reception is taking place over the time most people would eat a meal. They need to be fed enough food to constitute a meal. Q: *And would you expect the bridal party’s plus ones to be fed as well?* A: Absolutely The only way you will know what is happening is to ask the couple.
Yeah. Will have him ask…I’ve never been part of a bridal party and have not been to a crazy amount of weddings so just wanted to gauge how others felt before I even talked to him about it.
Could you update us when he asks? I’m very curious about this situation.
I’m more concerned about the 2 hour block for the ceremony 😂
This is utterly insane
Why even bother having a reception without the bride and groom there. How rude. They could have just had the whole wedding day with just the bridal party in attendance!
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That is not at all what's being stated here though. Private dinner for bridal party only with no dinner mentioned for guests. Cocktail hour is definitely not mentioned.
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Why are you assuming all of this when OP is literally Telling us the timelines and what’s going on
Just a thought: is there a possibility this only means that the wedding party is getting an earlier meal because they presumably will be there before the ceremony and so waiting with food until regular dinner time would be too long..? Are the ceremony guests also invited to the reception or is there people only coming to the reception..? Still seems off tho ngl
This is a such a bizarre timeline. Is the ceremony two hours long or is there just an insane amount of down time between the bits guests are meant to attend? Two separate meals at best, food for *only* the bridal party at worst?? I have so many questions lol
It's pretty common for the bridal party to be provided with a meal during the pictures since they're busy helping the couple and unable to attend a regular meal. However, it's less common for plus ones to be included in this, as they aren't typically involved in the pre-reception activities. It can definitely vary depending on the couple's decisions and the specifics of their wedding day schedule. It's always best to check directly with the couple or the wedding planner for clarification. If you're the plus one, you might want to plan for your own meal just in case, or see if there's a place you can wait and have a bite nearby during the photo session. It’s a thoughtful gesture when plus ones are included, but not always a given. Hope that helps!
Oh I definitely won’t be taking time off work to attend the ceremony if I’m not invited to the meal!