Make sure your venue is ACTUALLY ADA compliant and doesn't just say it is. Make sure the doorways are ACTUALLY wide enough, that ramps are actually in place, that walkways are actually smooth and that everything fun is on a level first floor for her. FAR too often places say they are accessible but actual disabled people can't use them. The best test is if you have another friend of loved one who is disabled who can do a walk through with you to ensure everything is correct. PS> ETA you're very sweet to be thinking this way.
Yes I agree with this 100%! I’d also double check that the bathrooms are easily maneuverable. That’s often a problem for folks in power chairs or wheelchairs even if the building is considered ADA compliant.
This may be cost prohibitive but if you can swing it I would look into renting a power chair for her to use instead of a wheelchair. My grandfather uses one and he is able to zoom around the dance floor at weddings and spin in circles and stuff, he has a ball! I’m not sure if that’s something you could rent or borrow from someone else for a day but it may be worth looking into.
I would also decorate the chair with florals/ribbon so it’s a bit prettier and fun!
Thank you!! I know for a fact the reception and cocktail hour and the bathrooms are on the first floor. I’m worried about the bathrooms being able to accommodate her if she is in a chair, they’re not very wide. We have another walkthrough of the venue (finalizing menu, ceremony, etc) so I will add all of this to the list and check it with a wheelchair or crutches in mind.
Take a yardstick with you on the walkthrough. It sounds silly but it’s much easier to use one to check dimensions than to get put a tape measure, plus it’s rigid so you can’t “cheat” it at all by twisting or accidentally bending it a bit or that sort of thing.
Also pay attention to thresholds - we tend not to notice if we are walking and there is a small step or bump but they’re obviously much more of an issue in a wheelchair.
I was recently at a wedding where the mother of groom was in a wheelchair. During the dancing someone (friend of mom) surprised her and brought out a portable maypole for the mom to hold, and everyone took a ribbon and danced around her. The pictures are beautiful and it was such a sweet moment.
I have an ill parent and also have a wheelchair bound grandparent. Here are things I've thought of or done:
- I've seen mobile nail services that can come to your house if her going to a nail salon is difficult. But I do think many salons could accommodate mobility issues, specially if she's able to move between the wheelchair and a normal chair. For day of services, I would just ensure the space you'll be getting ready is wheelchair accessible - may call the hotel/space to see if it's accessible and make sure you keep things off the ground
- for the aisle, I would maybe ask what she prefers. If she's self conscious about being in a wheelchair, maybe she'll want to bow out of that moment and watch you walk with your dad.
- I would inform the photographer ahead of time so you don't have to chat about it day of. I'd also consider that she has a longer dress to conceal her boot a bit and maybe a shall if she wants to cover her wheelchair or any medical equipment at any point. I would suggest having a normal chair for her to sit in for some photos and getting some group shots sitting down so there are ones where she naturally looks posed in a seated position.
- I'd suggest maybe a first look with parents, private first dance with them, etc. to get some special one on one time without her having to worry about all of this.
I’ll make a note to call the nail salon and ask, thank you. As for the hotel, I’ve already called and she should be just fine there, they’re moving us to the first floor and her room will have an ADA accesible shower and bathroom.
I’ll ask her about the aisle once she’s a little further along in her recovery - I really don’t want her stressing right now. But I think excluding her would devastate her more. I do like the idea of some seated photos though!
We are doing a father/daughter first look and my mom will be there for that. My dad is going to do his speech privately to us then, because he can’t get through it without crying and didn’t want to do it in public.
For the aisle - can your dad push her in the wheelchairs and you walk along side holding her hand or similar? Alternatively, if she will have *some* mobility, talk to her physical therapist - there may be some other mobility aid that she will feel better using that she can use *just* for the aisle even if it isn’t suitable for her normally, because walking down the aisle is such a controlled situation. Like there’s little scooter things you can use that you put one leg up on and those sorts of things.
I would also speak to the person doing your alterations, depending on your style of dress. You may want to do something to the skirt on the side she will be on to help keep it from getting caught under the wheels if it’s particularly full or flowing. (I’m thinking something along the lines of a “bustle” concept that catches the fabric in or up a little bit just in that area, but can be easily undone by one of your bridesmaids at the altar. Like just a couple of ribbons that are tied to restrain the skirt a bit and then easily untied, something like that.)
I think my dad pushing her may work! Thank you for the idea. And we don’t know what her mobility will be like by then - I’m planning for the worst, hoping for the best!
My dress isn’t poofy or long (no train to speak of) so I don’t think I need to worry too much there, if needed I’ll just lift it a bit, but thank you.
You may also consider calling the hotel again the day before their check in and just “double checking” that the ADA room is reserved for her. I’ve had friends run into an issue where all the ADA rooms were given to other guests and the hotel is just like “whoops”.
My grandmother has mobility/health issues to the point that she couldn’t come to our wedding, so we did some pre-wedding photos where she was seated and they are PRECIOUS. A good photographer should be able to help you ensure that you and your mom get lots of epic shots the day of where you don’t even notice that she’s sitting down. ❤️
https://preview.redd.it/62tme2dr7yyc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a5176d6a5f209ae5d6cc95d0893da51b3aaec1a
That all sounds great! Very valid that your mom would feel excluded - you never know either way. My mom is sick and not feeling her best, so she's trying to step out of the spotlight at my wedding but everyone is so different!
Everyone is different for sure! And I know she doesn’t want people commenting on the boot or the wheelchair, that would embarrass her. But I’m her only daughter and the only kid going through with a more “traditional” wedding so I know she wants to be involved and I’ve tried to make that happen as best I can!
Some great ideas already! A dear friend of mine was in an accident about a year before her wedding which requires her to use a wheelchair. She was still getting used to her new mode of transport during wedding festivities so we did what we could to accommodate/adjust:
- Decorated her wheelchair handles with ribbon and added fake flowers to make it more celebratory (this could easily be done with crutches as well!)
- Ensured her dress was flowy enough to be comfortable/beautiful from a seated angle. This was really a challenge for her at first, but her dress was perfect and they were able to hem it to a tea length so it didn’t drag/showed off her cute shoes
- Already mentioned, but having a seat (we had benches outside as they also got married on a golf course) and a more comfortable/fancy chair for her to transfer into for dinner made for great photos. Having an additional empty seat next to her made it natural for others to sit next to her for photos instead of bending down, which was nice as well!
- This may be less important since she is not the bride, but we asked guests to remain seated when she entered/came down the aisle so that she could better see everyone when she rolled through (her father pushed her down the aisle)
Also in terms of photos if your Mom would really like a family photo without the boot in it you can certainly ask the photographer if it would be possible to edit it out! Especially if your mom is in a longer dress or pants it might be easier than you think to photoshop out any evidence of the boot for a photo or two she can frame later. You could even surprise her with it as a gift later if she is on the mend in a few months after your wedding.
Love the idea of decorating her mobility aid!! We may have spare flowers but if not I’ll order more.
The chair is also a great point - the venue does have benches but maybe I can convince them to do a chair for my mom. Thank you!
We’re doing all fake flowers anyway, except for my bridal bouquet and corsages for the moms, so we will definitely be using our leftover fake flowers to decorate!
I just want to add that as someone who is disabled, talk with her and acknowledge that it will be different than what she envisioned and it is okay to be sad. It can still be a wonderful day and you are being wonderful about accommodating her and still making it special, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be different. Ask her what is most important to her and start with that. I know for me that pictures is a big thing, and that helping her find a dress that she feels comfortable in (and possibly covers her boot) would be my biggest concern. If you have any questions please let me know! I was on crutches for over a year and have a lot of experience with them. I have less experience with wheelchairs, but I’ll help if I can!
Thank you so much! I will absolutely remember to check in with her after she gets out of the hospital. And if I have any questions, I’ll reach out - I’ve never had to use crutches so to say I’m having a rough time putting myself in her shoes - or boot in this case - is in an understatement.
I think you've done a good job on how to help her, but can I suggest you come up with something that she could help you with? She's your mom, she probably feels like she's not giving you the support she wants to or causing you stress (which we know is silly, it's clear you care about her presence and her health over anything else). But perhaps there's something small she can do to make her feel included? Something she could read at the ceremony, or help you put together ahead of time?
Yes I have to think long and hard about this. Originally she was going to button up my dress and we would get some photos of that but I don’t think she’ll be able to stand independently long enough to do it. I don’t really have any other ideas at the moment. She’s 3 hours from me and all of my DIY is done at this point because I didn’t want to burden my family with a ton of wedding asks. So in reality there’s not much left to do that I can think of…
> Originally she was going to button up my dress and we would get some photos of that but I don’t think she’ll be able to stand independently long enough to do it.
Jewelry! Pictures of her clasping a bracelet or necklace for you (a necklace should be quicker than buttoning, or if she really can't stand at all you can just have her do the necklace before you put the dress on). If you have an engagement ring and aren't wearing it for the ceremony, have her hold onto it and get a picture of you passing it to her and/or her passing it back afterward. Ooh, maybe she could even hold the wedding rings, if you don't already have plans for those? (Officiant/best man would go get them from her for the ring exchange.)
Oh this is such a good idea!! She got me an opal necklace that has some of my childhood dog’s ashes in it that I’ll be wearing on the wedding day. It matches my engagement ring and I could absolutely bend down so she can clasp it. Thank you.
If she does have a boot, pants or a long dress would cover it more. Also, you can get the photographer to take family photos with her positioned so the boot leg is away from the camera (like if she has a boot on her right foot, have her stand to the left of you in pictures and turned to the side a little so her left foot/leg is showing more). If she's using a wheelchair (and is able to do this), she could transfer out of the wheelchair into a "regular" chair for pictures if she prefers. For hair and nails (if she is using a wheelchair and not able to transfer out), make sure that they have a sink they can use to wash her hair or a pedicure tub she can use (if she wants that). Sometimes the chairs are not movable so a wheelchair can't wheel up to the sink/tub.
All great recommendations, thank you! Her dress is long so that’s good. She won’t be getting a pedicure (she’ll be in casts and a boot very likely), just a manicure but I will make sure the salon has moveable chairs or we will just go to a different nail salon.
I sometimes use a wheelchair, and you can rent motorized ones -- not just the scooters, but the motorized chairs.
With a tiny bit of practice, my fiance and I are able to dance when I'm in a motorized chair. Maybe not something I'd want to do with my partner in a floor length dress, but something I would totally do with my dad or my fiance (suit). My uncle who was paralyzed did dance with his wife from his chair and it was really cute. They just draped her train over his chair.
My mom broke her leg right before my wedding so she was in a boot + wheelchair but had crutches she could tolerate for short times.
My brother pushed her down the aisle ahead of my dad and I (we had our siblings, all parents, and grandparents walk as the plan already, I still walked with just my dad). The aisle at my venue would not have been wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair + me + my dad next to each other, so that's something you'll want to consider. Maybe there is someone special who could push her ahead of you and your dad?
For makeup during getting ready, we just told the stylist and they did her makeup while she was in the wheelchair, no big deal.
For photos, she was able to stand on her good leg for short periods. So for posed photos we had someone wheel her right up to where the photographer wanted, then she would brace herself on me and I would help balance her while she stood on one leg and someone removed the chair, snapped a few quick photos, and then they'd bring the chair back and give her a rest. It worked pretty well I think. She wore a long dress and you couldn't notice the boot in a lot of photos.
For the dress buttoning, we just faked that photo as above. My dress didn't even have buttons so we would have faked her just generally adjusting my dress anyway to get that classic shot.
For dancing, I didn't have a planned dance with her so didn't have to figure that out. I and other relatives took turns spinning her wheelchair and dancing with her when the dance floor opened.
Edit- this was written on mobile and I don't know why the font looks so big.
As someone who's attended weddings with a family member in a wheelchair:
Point #2 - if she's in a wheelchair she can't walk you down the aisle or this will be a logistical nightmare. Even when a bride wants both parents to walk them down most times the aisle isn't wide enough and the dress gets stepped on or someone else is stuck waking behind. If your mom wheels next to you make sure the aisle is wide enough and she can wheel herself
#3 - if she's not steady on her feet are you strong enough to keep her standing upright to dance? Even if she's swaying back and forth?
#4 - if she'd wearing a long gown and standing the boot should be hidden. If not the photographer can Photoshop it
#5 - will she be able to easily move from the cart to the wheelchair? Since your venue is at a golf course and the ceremony is outside it will be EXTREMELY difficult to roll a wheelchair over grass. Trust me.
#7 - will she need any mobility aids to shower?
Rent a small mobility scooter for her from a Home Healthcare store; it will look less medical and more fun for her. Mom can hold your hand while driving the scooter down the aisle, dad can follow behind, holding your train. Mom can also use it on the dance floor. Make sure to have the florist make an arrangement for the handlebars.
For pictures, have a chair decorated beautifully for mom to sit on in pictures.
Hi, so I'm a mobility aid using bride! Here is what I am doing.
Adding florals to my mobility aids to decorate them and make them feel more wedding-y.
I will speak to the photographer so that my mobility aids are discreet and not super obvious in pictures, for example maybe bringing chairs for us to sit on and have pictures with instead of me being in my wheelchair - also having regular breaks between things like this. My bridesmaids know to pull me away from things and give me time outs due to fatigue.
That's all I've got so far. But I'll come back and add things as I remember them! But the florals to the chair is my biggest one. Also, I'm buying a specific new walking stick for the wedding, as mine is just plain black and boring. Gonna get a pretty white one that lights up! Will also decorate that!
Edit: our venue is also completely accessible as myself and my best friend are both disabled! So we have a bathroom with a lift and hoist, and everywhere else is on one level and in one place!
Have her in a long dress! Something a lime would be best. Then a boot won’t really be noticed, even if she’s in a wheelchair. And honestly, especially then! I almost need to have separate shorter outfits when I’m in my chair because my skirts all drag on the ground if I’m not careful.
For hair, something up off her neck out of her face and not down at all if she has long hair. Especially if she’s on crutches at the event. Long hair is easy to accidentally get caught between the under arm pads and your body and it is so not fun.
For nails, keep them short and simple. Long nails get in the way on crutches or pushing a wheelchair. Also bc I’ve seen people commenting on it: I’ve never had to leave my wheelchair at a salon getting my nails done.
At the ceremony, a wheelchair won’t work if you’re on the green. Wheelchairs get stuck in grass and mud and while I can navigate it if I have to, I’ve been in my chair nearly three years now, and this would be new to her. Make sure she has to travel as little as possible between the golf cart and her seat.
And, I don’t think you’ll get to dance with her. A walk down the aisle might be possible if she’s able to do crutches and walk in front or behind, but I wouldn’t recommend it if it’s raining bc even with over a decade experience in mud and rain and crutches I still get slipped and fall. But a dance… there’s just really no good way to make that work imo. Maybe she could announce it? But. Idk, I can’t think of a good way for a mother daughter dance if she’s in a chair.
I had two wedding guests with wheelchairs and I had to find alternative routes for parking and dropping off for them. The venue also had elevator access across the foyer and started locking the access doors before the wedding reception was over. The venue was older and they retro fit everything years later to make it ADA compliant
Make sure your venue is ACTUALLY ADA compliant and doesn't just say it is. Make sure the doorways are ACTUALLY wide enough, that ramps are actually in place, that walkways are actually smooth and that everything fun is on a level first floor for her. FAR too often places say they are accessible but actual disabled people can't use them. The best test is if you have another friend of loved one who is disabled who can do a walk through with you to ensure everything is correct. PS> ETA you're very sweet to be thinking this way.
Yes I agree with this 100%! I’d also double check that the bathrooms are easily maneuverable. That’s often a problem for folks in power chairs or wheelchairs even if the building is considered ADA compliant. This may be cost prohibitive but if you can swing it I would look into renting a power chair for her to use instead of a wheelchair. My grandfather uses one and he is able to zoom around the dance floor at weddings and spin in circles and stuff, he has a ball! I’m not sure if that’s something you could rent or borrow from someone else for a day but it may be worth looking into. I would also decorate the chair with florals/ribbon so it’s a bit prettier and fun!
Thank you!! I know for a fact the reception and cocktail hour and the bathrooms are on the first floor. I’m worried about the bathrooms being able to accommodate her if she is in a chair, they’re not very wide. We have another walkthrough of the venue (finalizing menu, ceremony, etc) so I will add all of this to the list and check it with a wheelchair or crutches in mind.
Take a yardstick with you on the walkthrough. It sounds silly but it’s much easier to use one to check dimensions than to get put a tape measure, plus it’s rigid so you can’t “cheat” it at all by twisting or accidentally bending it a bit or that sort of thing. Also pay attention to thresholds - we tend not to notice if we are walking and there is a small step or bump but they’re obviously much more of an issue in a wheelchair.
Thank you!! Added to the list.
I was recently at a wedding where the mother of groom was in a wheelchair. During the dancing someone (friend of mom) surprised her and brought out a portable maypole for the mom to hold, and everyone took a ribbon and danced around her. The pictures are beautiful and it was such a sweet moment.
That's so sweet and lovely!
I have an ill parent and also have a wheelchair bound grandparent. Here are things I've thought of or done: - I've seen mobile nail services that can come to your house if her going to a nail salon is difficult. But I do think many salons could accommodate mobility issues, specially if she's able to move between the wheelchair and a normal chair. For day of services, I would just ensure the space you'll be getting ready is wheelchair accessible - may call the hotel/space to see if it's accessible and make sure you keep things off the ground - for the aisle, I would maybe ask what she prefers. If she's self conscious about being in a wheelchair, maybe she'll want to bow out of that moment and watch you walk with your dad. - I would inform the photographer ahead of time so you don't have to chat about it day of. I'd also consider that she has a longer dress to conceal her boot a bit and maybe a shall if she wants to cover her wheelchair or any medical equipment at any point. I would suggest having a normal chair for her to sit in for some photos and getting some group shots sitting down so there are ones where she naturally looks posed in a seated position. - I'd suggest maybe a first look with parents, private first dance with them, etc. to get some special one on one time without her having to worry about all of this.
I’ll make a note to call the nail salon and ask, thank you. As for the hotel, I’ve already called and she should be just fine there, they’re moving us to the first floor and her room will have an ADA accesible shower and bathroom. I’ll ask her about the aisle once she’s a little further along in her recovery - I really don’t want her stressing right now. But I think excluding her would devastate her more. I do like the idea of some seated photos though! We are doing a father/daughter first look and my mom will be there for that. My dad is going to do his speech privately to us then, because he can’t get through it without crying and didn’t want to do it in public.
Ask if they can widen the aisle a bit to accommodate the wheelchair.
I will, thank you!
For the aisle - can your dad push her in the wheelchairs and you walk along side holding her hand or similar? Alternatively, if she will have *some* mobility, talk to her physical therapist - there may be some other mobility aid that she will feel better using that she can use *just* for the aisle even if it isn’t suitable for her normally, because walking down the aisle is such a controlled situation. Like there’s little scooter things you can use that you put one leg up on and those sorts of things. I would also speak to the person doing your alterations, depending on your style of dress. You may want to do something to the skirt on the side she will be on to help keep it from getting caught under the wheels if it’s particularly full or flowing. (I’m thinking something along the lines of a “bustle” concept that catches the fabric in or up a little bit just in that area, but can be easily undone by one of your bridesmaids at the altar. Like just a couple of ribbons that are tied to restrain the skirt a bit and then easily untied, something like that.)
I think my dad pushing her may work! Thank you for the idea. And we don’t know what her mobility will be like by then - I’m planning for the worst, hoping for the best! My dress isn’t poofy or long (no train to speak of) so I don’t think I need to worry too much there, if needed I’ll just lift it a bit, but thank you.
You may also consider calling the hotel again the day before their check in and just “double checking” that the ADA room is reserved for her. I’ve had friends run into an issue where all the ADA rooms were given to other guests and the hotel is just like “whoops”.
My grandmother has mobility/health issues to the point that she couldn’t come to our wedding, so we did some pre-wedding photos where she was seated and they are PRECIOUS. A good photographer should be able to help you ensure that you and your mom get lots of epic shots the day of where you don’t even notice that she’s sitting down. ❤️ https://preview.redd.it/62tme2dr7yyc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a5176d6a5f209ae5d6cc95d0893da51b3aaec1a
Oh these are beautiful 😍
That all sounds great! Very valid that your mom would feel excluded - you never know either way. My mom is sick and not feeling her best, so she's trying to step out of the spotlight at my wedding but everyone is so different!
Everyone is different for sure! And I know she doesn’t want people commenting on the boot or the wheelchair, that would embarrass her. But I’m her only daughter and the only kid going through with a more “traditional” wedding so I know she wants to be involved and I’ve tried to make that happen as best I can!
As long as she can get there, they normally just move the normal chair out of the way for me! Wheelchair has never been a problem.
Some great ideas already! A dear friend of mine was in an accident about a year before her wedding which requires her to use a wheelchair. She was still getting used to her new mode of transport during wedding festivities so we did what we could to accommodate/adjust: - Decorated her wheelchair handles with ribbon and added fake flowers to make it more celebratory (this could easily be done with crutches as well!) - Ensured her dress was flowy enough to be comfortable/beautiful from a seated angle. This was really a challenge for her at first, but her dress was perfect and they were able to hem it to a tea length so it didn’t drag/showed off her cute shoes - Already mentioned, but having a seat (we had benches outside as they also got married on a golf course) and a more comfortable/fancy chair for her to transfer into for dinner made for great photos. Having an additional empty seat next to her made it natural for others to sit next to her for photos instead of bending down, which was nice as well! - This may be less important since she is not the bride, but we asked guests to remain seated when she entered/came down the aisle so that she could better see everyone when she rolled through (her father pushed her down the aisle) Also in terms of photos if your Mom would really like a family photo without the boot in it you can certainly ask the photographer if it would be possible to edit it out! Especially if your mom is in a longer dress or pants it might be easier than you think to photoshop out any evidence of the boot for a photo or two she can frame later. You could even surprise her with it as a gift later if she is on the mend in a few months after your wedding.
Love the idea of decorating her mobility aid!! We may have spare flowers but if not I’ll order more. The chair is also a great point - the venue does have benches but maybe I can convince them to do a chair for my mom. Thank you!
You may want to consider fake flowers for decorating her mobility aid as real ones would wilt without a water supply.
We’re doing all fake flowers anyway, except for my bridal bouquet and corsages for the moms, so we will definitely be using our leftover fake flowers to decorate!
Oh, perfect!
I just want to add that as someone who is disabled, talk with her and acknowledge that it will be different than what she envisioned and it is okay to be sad. It can still be a wonderful day and you are being wonderful about accommodating her and still making it special, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be different. Ask her what is most important to her and start with that. I know for me that pictures is a big thing, and that helping her find a dress that she feels comfortable in (and possibly covers her boot) would be my biggest concern. If you have any questions please let me know! I was on crutches for over a year and have a lot of experience with them. I have less experience with wheelchairs, but I’ll help if I can!
Thank you so much! I will absolutely remember to check in with her after she gets out of the hospital. And if I have any questions, I’ll reach out - I’ve never had to use crutches so to say I’m having a rough time putting myself in her shoes - or boot in this case - is in an understatement.
I think you've done a good job on how to help her, but can I suggest you come up with something that she could help you with? She's your mom, she probably feels like she's not giving you the support she wants to or causing you stress (which we know is silly, it's clear you care about her presence and her health over anything else). But perhaps there's something small she can do to make her feel included? Something she could read at the ceremony, or help you put together ahead of time?
Yes I have to think long and hard about this. Originally she was going to button up my dress and we would get some photos of that but I don’t think she’ll be able to stand independently long enough to do it. I don’t really have any other ideas at the moment. She’s 3 hours from me and all of my DIY is done at this point because I didn’t want to burden my family with a ton of wedding asks. So in reality there’s not much left to do that I can think of…
> Originally she was going to button up my dress and we would get some photos of that but I don’t think she’ll be able to stand independently long enough to do it. Jewelry! Pictures of her clasping a bracelet or necklace for you (a necklace should be quicker than buttoning, or if she really can't stand at all you can just have her do the necklace before you put the dress on). If you have an engagement ring and aren't wearing it for the ceremony, have her hold onto it and get a picture of you passing it to her and/or her passing it back afterward. Ooh, maybe she could even hold the wedding rings, if you don't already have plans for those? (Officiant/best man would go get them from her for the ring exchange.)
Oh this is such a good idea!! She got me an opal necklace that has some of my childhood dog’s ashes in it that I’ll be wearing on the wedding day. It matches my engagement ring and I could absolutely bend down so she can clasp it. Thank you.
You can also both be seated for that part. It might make the photos easier to get a good angle.
Could she sit on a tall stool? That would give her enough height to do the buttons up
Ohh yes maybe! There are stools in the suite at the hotel, thank you!!
If she does have a boot, pants or a long dress would cover it more. Also, you can get the photographer to take family photos with her positioned so the boot leg is away from the camera (like if she has a boot on her right foot, have her stand to the left of you in pictures and turned to the side a little so her left foot/leg is showing more). If she's using a wheelchair (and is able to do this), she could transfer out of the wheelchair into a "regular" chair for pictures if she prefers. For hair and nails (if she is using a wheelchair and not able to transfer out), make sure that they have a sink they can use to wash her hair or a pedicure tub she can use (if she wants that). Sometimes the chairs are not movable so a wheelchair can't wheel up to the sink/tub.
All great recommendations, thank you! Her dress is long so that’s good. She won’t be getting a pedicure (she’ll be in casts and a boot very likely), just a manicure but I will make sure the salon has moveable chairs or we will just go to a different nail salon.
you're the sweetest, OP! Have a wonderful wedding!!
Thank you!!
I sometimes use a wheelchair, and you can rent motorized ones -- not just the scooters, but the motorized chairs. With a tiny bit of practice, my fiance and I are able to dance when I'm in a motorized chair. Maybe not something I'd want to do with my partner in a floor length dress, but something I would totally do with my dad or my fiance (suit). My uncle who was paralyzed did dance with his wife from his chair and it was really cute. They just draped her train over his chair.
My mom broke her leg right before my wedding so she was in a boot + wheelchair but had crutches she could tolerate for short times. My brother pushed her down the aisle ahead of my dad and I (we had our siblings, all parents, and grandparents walk as the plan already, I still walked with just my dad). The aisle at my venue would not have been wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair + me + my dad next to each other, so that's something you'll want to consider. Maybe there is someone special who could push her ahead of you and your dad? For makeup during getting ready, we just told the stylist and they did her makeup while she was in the wheelchair, no big deal. For photos, she was able to stand on her good leg for short periods. So for posed photos we had someone wheel her right up to where the photographer wanted, then she would brace herself on me and I would help balance her while she stood on one leg and someone removed the chair, snapped a few quick photos, and then they'd bring the chair back and give her a rest. It worked pretty well I think. She wore a long dress and you couldn't notice the boot in a lot of photos. For the dress buttoning, we just faked that photo as above. My dress didn't even have buttons so we would have faked her just generally adjusting my dress anyway to get that classic shot. For dancing, I didn't have a planned dance with her so didn't have to figure that out. I and other relatives took turns spinning her wheelchair and dancing with her when the dance floor opened.
Coming from a florist, can you fancy up her wheelchair with some floral pieces?
It might make her feel extra special with a upgrade to her chair
Edit- this was written on mobile and I don't know why the font looks so big. As someone who's attended weddings with a family member in a wheelchair: Point #2 - if she's in a wheelchair she can't walk you down the aisle or this will be a logistical nightmare. Even when a bride wants both parents to walk them down most times the aisle isn't wide enough and the dress gets stepped on or someone else is stuck waking behind. If your mom wheels next to you make sure the aisle is wide enough and she can wheel herself #3 - if she's not steady on her feet are you strong enough to keep her standing upright to dance? Even if she's swaying back and forth? #4 - if she'd wearing a long gown and standing the boot should be hidden. If not the photographer can Photoshop it #5 - will she be able to easily move from the cart to the wheelchair? Since your venue is at a golf course and the ceremony is outside it will be EXTREMELY difficult to roll a wheelchair over grass. Trust me. #7 - will she need any mobility aids to shower?
You're a kind bride. What a breath of fresh air after some of those bridezilla videos! I have no advice but keep on doing what you're doing ❤️
Rent a small mobility scooter for her from a Home Healthcare store; it will look less medical and more fun for her. Mom can hold your hand while driving the scooter down the aisle, dad can follow behind, holding your train. Mom can also use it on the dance floor. Make sure to have the florist make an arrangement for the handlebars. For pictures, have a chair decorated beautifully for mom to sit on in pictures.
Hi, so I'm a mobility aid using bride! Here is what I am doing. Adding florals to my mobility aids to decorate them and make them feel more wedding-y. I will speak to the photographer so that my mobility aids are discreet and not super obvious in pictures, for example maybe bringing chairs for us to sit on and have pictures with instead of me being in my wheelchair - also having regular breaks between things like this. My bridesmaids know to pull me away from things and give me time outs due to fatigue. That's all I've got so far. But I'll come back and add things as I remember them! But the florals to the chair is my biggest one. Also, I'm buying a specific new walking stick for the wedding, as mine is just plain black and boring. Gonna get a pretty white one that lights up! Will also decorate that! Edit: our venue is also completely accessible as myself and my best friend are both disabled! So we have a bathroom with a lift and hoist, and everywhere else is on one level and in one place!
Have her in a long dress! Something a lime would be best. Then a boot won’t really be noticed, even if she’s in a wheelchair. And honestly, especially then! I almost need to have separate shorter outfits when I’m in my chair because my skirts all drag on the ground if I’m not careful. For hair, something up off her neck out of her face and not down at all if she has long hair. Especially if she’s on crutches at the event. Long hair is easy to accidentally get caught between the under arm pads and your body and it is so not fun. For nails, keep them short and simple. Long nails get in the way on crutches or pushing a wheelchair. Also bc I’ve seen people commenting on it: I’ve never had to leave my wheelchair at a salon getting my nails done. At the ceremony, a wheelchair won’t work if you’re on the green. Wheelchairs get stuck in grass and mud and while I can navigate it if I have to, I’ve been in my chair nearly three years now, and this would be new to her. Make sure she has to travel as little as possible between the golf cart and her seat. And, I don’t think you’ll get to dance with her. A walk down the aisle might be possible if she’s able to do crutches and walk in front or behind, but I wouldn’t recommend it if it’s raining bc even with over a decade experience in mud and rain and crutches I still get slipped and fall. But a dance… there’s just really no good way to make that work imo. Maybe she could announce it? But. Idk, I can’t think of a good way for a mother daughter dance if she’s in a chair.
I had two wedding guests with wheelchairs and I had to find alternative routes for parking and dropping off for them. The venue also had elevator access across the foyer and started locking the access doors before the wedding reception was over. The venue was older and they retro fit everything years later to make it ADA compliant
When you put the number sign in front of something, it blows up the font size!