IMO, the best way is to put on your invitations "casual dress" as the dress code. You can't really expect to micromanage your guests' choice of shorts and shirts.
*"So we would rather guests wear shorts and a nice polo then arrive in slacks, shirt and tie"*
-just comes across as a bit controlling. Apologies if this sounds like nitpicking.
I would keep everything in this category and leave out specific clothing.
Just say, "dress for casual a summer cookout."
OP, to you, shorts and a polo might be more comfortable, but some people really are more comfortable in slacks. Looking at that description, I see “smores,” so I’m guessing this extends into the night — I’d probably be chilly in shorts. So if the goal really is to have guests be comfortable, many of them would probably prefer to be in chinos or jeans rather than shorts.
“Casual attire.” And of course include that the reception is a backyard BBQ. Getting specific about you wanting them to wear shorts and a “nice polo” instead of a shirt, tie, and slacks comes off as very tense and picky. What if they don’t feel comfortable in shorts and a polo and prefer slacks and a button down? It isn’t comfortable to have your outfit dictated to that level.
Some people like getting dressed up and sometimes a wedding is the only chance to. I would note the dress code is summer causal/afternoon BBQ and them let people do what they like. If you actually want people to be "comfortable" which is both emotional and physical then you have to let them choose. If you aren't actually after "comfort" and want a certain aesthethic then, that's different, and you could say something more like "We ask that this event be a casual gathering between friends and not a formal event. Accordingly, x is requested."
I would emphasize the activities rather than the dress code. For example, “come ready for summer fun! We’ll have lawn games, bbq, and smores to enjoy”
This way, they hopefully also remember to bring sunblock.
Does this run the risk of some guest showing up in cutoffs and bikini tops? Possibly. You know your crowd best, hopefully most people have the good sense to dress a little better than that lol.
I don't think it's necessary to send a reminder. This is a small enough event you can communicate this to family members by word of mouth. But some people like to dress nicer for occasions than what one would wear to a backyard cookout, and you really can't control that.
IMO stating “dress comfortably” does not fully describe your wedding vibe. As a female, I would just take it to mean a sundress with sandals, due to heat and outside venue. You need to let them know it will be a cookout atmosphere with games and other outdoor activities. You also want them to stay for the activities and not make other plans, thinking it will be short and sweet due to the outside location. Do you and your husband plan to change to shorts after the wedding? Maybe send something stating you are looking forward to seeing them and appreciate them joining you to celebrate. This will be a unique wedding style, more like a cookout atmosphere. After the wedding ceremony, you will be changing to shorts for a comfortable afternoon of fun playing corn-hole and enjoying s’mores. You hope they will feel free to dress casually and comfortably to celebrate in this casual atmosphere. Make sure to let them know if they will be fed a meal, your description did not make it clear. Burgers, hotdogs, fried chicken?
Have you described the available activities? Cornhole and smores are the biggest signifiers to me that I should dress for outdoor fun rather than typical indoor semi-formal.
That's crazy! I stand corrected. Smores though says to me there's sticky things and smoke. Cornhole says there's games. So the two together you for sure wouldn't catch me in my best duds.
Outdoor does NOT inherently mean more casual or comfortable, there are very fancy outdoor weddings, so providing more information is better for sure! What you’re describing is casual attire, but I think examples are still helpful, as some people think “casual” means a t shirt and basketball shorts. More casual dress codes can create anxiety without examples, as people are often afraid of being the most casually dressed person there, causing them to overdress. But this depends heavily on who is being invited and you know your people better than anyone else.
One of my friends gave examples to go with their attire label. It was in FAQs like
“What is the dress code? X attire!”
“What does this mean? Some examples of appropriate attire include colorful or floral sundresses, slacks and button down but no jacket required.”
You could give your preferences as examples instead of “we want you to wear this.” Telling guests what to expect like you did (smores, yard games, etc) is helpful. When giving examples you could even include something cute from the couple’s end like “we’ll be donning our favorite sandals and khaki shorts to enjoy the beautiful evening with you” if you’re planning to be more casual for the reception.
I definitely get where you’re coming from, but outdoor wedding is really the main thing that they need to know, they can look up the venue they can look up the weather for themselves.
I kinda disagree with some of the other comments that say your example with specific suggestions is controlling. I've found it super helpful as a wedding guest to have that level of specificity. It helped me to know how they interpreted that dress code
This is what was under the dress code section of our website:
*What is the dress code?
Dressy casual. Comfortable dresses, pantsuits/jumpsuits/rompers, slacks, and button-down shirts (short or long sleeved) are welcome. Suits, sport coats, or ties are not necessary. Please keep in mind that the temperature can drop with the sun and bring a light jacket or sweater if needed. The sun can be very toasty as well; we recommend keeping an eye on the weather and wearing light, breathable fabrics if you tend to overheat. Access to the venue and the venue floor is uneven in spots; high heels are not recommended. If you are drawn to heels, a block heel or wedge would be best. Wear your dancing shoes!*
As someone who *hates* shorts and genuinely is more comfortable in dresses and skirts, I'd not worry too much about the wording or giving specific examples. Just setting the dress code on the invitation as "casual attire" or "dressy casual" if you don't want jeans and tees. The on your website FAQs mention things like sensible footwear for lawn games, being prepared for warm weather, no jackets and ties required, whatever.
From there, you're guests can either figure it out or reach out to you and your partner with questions. (Pro tip, make sure both sets of parents know how to answer the "what should I wear?" question. Because chances are family members will ask them first).
Here's how I would put that description on a website:
"What is the dress code? Summer-casual; weather permitted, feel free to show up in khaki shorts & a Polo or get that one last wear out of your favorite sun dress for the season! Of course, be mindful that it'll be cooler and possibly buggy after the sun sets."
"Will the reception be the typical dinner and dancing? The reception will he a more casual cookout with yard games, corn hole, smores- in addition to [BBQ dinner?], [anything notable about the drinks?], and music"
Having these two questions/answers would help set the vibe you're going for. If someone wants to overdress, you won't stop them. But the expectation would be set.
I would state “casual attire” or if you want a step up with the polo shirts, “business casual.”
I’ll be doing business casual with cosplay encouraged. My dress is a cosplay and most my friends are from the community.
From a graphic designer perspective, I would also make sure that your invites show casual as well. Don’t design for white tie since your intention is backyard cookout.
Just say it’s casual. As someone who exclusively wears dresses (not religious, I just hate pants), I would be pretty annoyed if someone tried to tell me I HAD to wear shorts.
Let your guests decide what’s comfortable.
We’re planning the same type of wedding for June 2025 and we’re going to tell everyone the dress code is Resort Casual, so they get that like, you can be cute but dress for your comfort first and foremost.
We got married in my parents backyard, both my husbands are big key west fans, so the wedding theme was key west, we told people to come in shorts, Hawaiian shirts and flip flops.
Tell people what your wedding is going to be like and they will wear what they deem appropriate. If they want to wear slacks and a dress shirt let them. You can't expect people to change between the ceremony and the reception. I'm going to hazard a guess though that you're a Midwest backyard wedding. If everyone is from the culture there shouldn't be an issue. But if some come overdressed so be it, your description of a backyard summer cookout vibe should clue them in enough.
My brother and SiL's dress code was "come as you are," and we used it for our welcome party and our brunch bc I didn't really care what people wore. I agree with other comments that you can say casual attire!
Some people might still show up in a full suit, and that's okay!
You can put the description you’ve drafted here but keep in mind that’s more of a theme and you should also pair it with a clear and concise dress code. Which in your case, casual attire!
IMO, the best way is to put on your invitations "casual dress" as the dress code. You can't really expect to micromanage your guests' choice of shorts and shirts.
*"So we would rather guests wear shorts and a nice polo then arrive in slacks, shirt and tie"* -just comes across as a bit controlling. Apologies if this sounds like nitpicking. I would keep everything in this category and leave out specific clothing. Just say, "dress for casual a summer cookout."
OP, to you, shorts and a polo might be more comfortable, but some people really are more comfortable in slacks. Looking at that description, I see “smores,” so I’m guessing this extends into the night — I’d probably be chilly in shorts. So if the goal really is to have guests be comfortable, many of them would probably prefer to be in chinos or jeans rather than shorts.
Yeah, I usually avoid wearing shorts at night due to mosquitoes.
“Casual attire.” And of course include that the reception is a backyard BBQ. Getting specific about you wanting them to wear shorts and a “nice polo” instead of a shirt, tie, and slacks comes off as very tense and picky. What if they don’t feel comfortable in shorts and a polo and prefer slacks and a button down? It isn’t comfortable to have your outfit dictated to that level.
Some people like getting dressed up and sometimes a wedding is the only chance to. I would note the dress code is summer causal/afternoon BBQ and them let people do what they like. If you actually want people to be "comfortable" which is both emotional and physical then you have to let them choose. If you aren't actually after "comfort" and want a certain aesthethic then, that's different, and you could say something more like "We ask that this event be a casual gathering between friends and not a formal event. Accordingly, x is requested."
I would emphasize the activities rather than the dress code. For example, “come ready for summer fun! We’ll have lawn games, bbq, and smores to enjoy” This way, they hopefully also remember to bring sunblock. Does this run the risk of some guest showing up in cutoffs and bikini tops? Possibly. You know your crowd best, hopefully most people have the good sense to dress a little better than that lol.
I don't think it's necessary to send a reminder. This is a small enough event you can communicate this to family members by word of mouth. But some people like to dress nicer for occasions than what one would wear to a backyard cookout, and you really can't control that.
With such a small guest list, I would just bring it up next time you talk to people. Tell them to dress for yard games etc.
IMO stating “dress comfortably” does not fully describe your wedding vibe. As a female, I would just take it to mean a sundress with sandals, due to heat and outside venue. You need to let them know it will be a cookout atmosphere with games and other outdoor activities. You also want them to stay for the activities and not make other plans, thinking it will be short and sweet due to the outside location. Do you and your husband plan to change to shorts after the wedding? Maybe send something stating you are looking forward to seeing them and appreciate them joining you to celebrate. This will be a unique wedding style, more like a cookout atmosphere. After the wedding ceremony, you will be changing to shorts for a comfortable afternoon of fun playing corn-hole and enjoying s’mores. You hope they will feel free to dress casually and comfortably to celebrate in this casual atmosphere. Make sure to let them know if they will be fed a meal, your description did not make it clear. Burgers, hotdogs, fried chicken?
Have you described the available activities? Cornhole and smores are the biggest signifiers to me that I should dress for outdoor fun rather than typical indoor semi-formal.
I recently went to a super formal wedding that had cornhole during the ourdoor cocktail hour haha. Cornhole is universal!
That's crazy! I stand corrected. Smores though says to me there's sticky things and smoke. Cornhole says there's games. So the two together you for sure wouldn't catch me in my best duds.
You would be surprised, I’ve now been to two semi-formal weddings that had cornhole. We managed in our heels but suit jackets were a hindrance
Outdoor does NOT inherently mean more casual or comfortable, there are very fancy outdoor weddings, so providing more information is better for sure! What you’re describing is casual attire, but I think examples are still helpful, as some people think “casual” means a t shirt and basketball shorts. More casual dress codes can create anxiety without examples, as people are often afraid of being the most casually dressed person there, causing them to overdress. But this depends heavily on who is being invited and you know your people better than anyone else. One of my friends gave examples to go with their attire label. It was in FAQs like “What is the dress code? X attire!” “What does this mean? Some examples of appropriate attire include colorful or floral sundresses, slacks and button down but no jacket required.” You could give your preferences as examples instead of “we want you to wear this.” Telling guests what to expect like you did (smores, yard games, etc) is helpful. When giving examples you could even include something cute from the couple’s end like “we’ll be donning our favorite sandals and khaki shorts to enjoy the beautiful evening with you” if you’re planning to be more casual for the reception.
Don’t send a reminder. It’s already on the website and invite. I would find this sort of reminder annoying.
I definitely get where you’re coming from, but outdoor wedding is really the main thing that they need to know, they can look up the venue they can look up the weather for themselves.
Since it’s a smaller wedding can you call / text people?
I kinda disagree with some of the other comments that say your example with specific suggestions is controlling. I've found it super helpful as a wedding guest to have that level of specificity. It helped me to know how they interpreted that dress code
"Casual attire" is all you need to put on the invite.
I love a good Pinterest mood board
This is what was under the dress code section of our website: *What is the dress code? Dressy casual. Comfortable dresses, pantsuits/jumpsuits/rompers, slacks, and button-down shirts (short or long sleeved) are welcome. Suits, sport coats, or ties are not necessary. Please keep in mind that the temperature can drop with the sun and bring a light jacket or sweater if needed. The sun can be very toasty as well; we recommend keeping an eye on the weather and wearing light, breathable fabrics if you tend to overheat. Access to the venue and the venue floor is uneven in spots; high heels are not recommended. If you are drawn to heels, a block heel or wedge would be best. Wear your dancing shoes!*
Also: Don’t waste postage on this, just put it in your wedding website.
As someone who *hates* shorts and genuinely is more comfortable in dresses and skirts, I'd not worry too much about the wording or giving specific examples. Just setting the dress code on the invitation as "casual attire" or "dressy casual" if you don't want jeans and tees. The on your website FAQs mention things like sensible footwear for lawn games, being prepared for warm weather, no jackets and ties required, whatever. From there, you're guests can either figure it out or reach out to you and your partner with questions. (Pro tip, make sure both sets of parents know how to answer the "what should I wear?" question. Because chances are family members will ask them first).
Sounds like our wedding! We told guests cocktail/casual, jeans were ok. “Wear what makes you look good and feel comfortable!”
Here's how I would put that description on a website: "What is the dress code? Summer-casual; weather permitted, feel free to show up in khaki shorts & a Polo or get that one last wear out of your favorite sun dress for the season! Of course, be mindful that it'll be cooler and possibly buggy after the sun sets." "Will the reception be the typical dinner and dancing? The reception will he a more casual cookout with yard games, corn hole, smores- in addition to [BBQ dinner?], [anything notable about the drinks?], and music" Having these two questions/answers would help set the vibe you're going for. If someone wants to overdress, you won't stop them. But the expectation would be set.
I would state “casual attire” or if you want a step up with the polo shirts, “business casual.” I’ll be doing business casual with cosplay encouraged. My dress is a cosplay and most my friends are from the community. From a graphic designer perspective, I would also make sure that your invites show casual as well. Don’t design for white tie since your intention is backyard cookout.
Just say it’s casual. As someone who exclusively wears dresses (not religious, I just hate pants), I would be pretty annoyed if someone tried to tell me I HAD to wear shorts. Let your guests decide what’s comfortable.
I’m not telling them they have to wear shorts
Comfortable and Casual. Any neckties will be cut in half upon arrival!
We’re planning the same type of wedding for June 2025 and we’re going to tell everyone the dress code is Resort Casual, so they get that like, you can be cute but dress for your comfort first and foremost.
We got married in my parents backyard, both my husbands are big key west fans, so the wedding theme was key west, we told people to come in shorts, Hawaiian shirts and flip flops.
Tell people what your wedding is going to be like and they will wear what they deem appropriate. If they want to wear slacks and a dress shirt let them. You can't expect people to change between the ceremony and the reception. I'm going to hazard a guess though that you're a Midwest backyard wedding. If everyone is from the culture there shouldn't be an issue. But if some come overdressed so be it, your description of a backyard summer cookout vibe should clue them in enough.
My brother and SiL's dress code was "come as you are," and we used it for our welcome party and our brunch bc I didn't really care what people wore. I agree with other comments that you can say casual attire! Some people might still show up in a full suit, and that's okay!
I had an October wedding. My dress code was listed as “casual and comfortable - flannel and denim encouraged”
I might use the term, “ dressy casual” to describe what you’re going for.
You can put the description you’ve drafted here but keep in mind that’s more of a theme and you should also pair it with a clear and concise dress code. Which in your case, casual attire!
Maybe elevated casual would be the best way to describe it? On the website put “khaki shorts/pants, polos, sundresses” I suppose
Dresscode: wear something you feel comfortable and happy in, that's all we wish for our guests :). Friends of ours (just) did this, it was a hit!
Just say casual.
My plan is to say “ceremony with picnic to follow” and hope that plus “casual dress” gets the point across.
Put your description into chat gpt. I used it for all my descriptions