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rlowens

It is a massager.


w34hy6q3h46

man and I was getting all ready to play a game of jacks, jumbo scale.


SenorDongles

Big same. Thought it was a novelty jack.


w34hy6q3h46

how the hell does one play jacks anyway? I had a box of them as a kid, no instructions. The box was loose and would easily spill them all out, so to me it was a unwanted game of 52 pick up if you bumped the box wrong while trying to get to the other games.


Snugglebunnyzz

Roll the Jack's out. Take the ball and bounce it. Whoever gets the most at the end wins. You grab the Jack's before the ball bounces. Bounce ball, grab Jack's. Until all are gone. That's how I played when I was young.... not sure if that was playground rules or not.


Redwings1927

Nope, thems the rules. Though depending on the people, you may take turns or both grabbing at the same time.


Working-Fruit7504

Thank god it is a massager! I found this in my grandma's house.


usernametaken2024

noone is saying *your grandma* used it for massages and not for something off-label ;)


Greenman_Dave

I mean, it's still a massage. ✌️😜


d2lover

I came here to say the same! When everything is relaxed, its second purpose kicks in. It's a multi tool!


dsonyx

You should smell it.


Wordshark

I disagree.


Sufficient_Two7499

These were Uber popular in the mid 90s, companies would hand these out left and right, hell you’d even find them in old navy. Used in conjunction with massage oils. Fuckers were like the fidget spinners of their day.


jcoddinc

Stuff can be two things


Greenbeastkushbreath

You can use a spoon to do a lot of shit, but it’s still just a spoon


Deluxe78

Do not try and bend the spoon—that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth.


BatangTundo3112

You will never know. Ask her for peace of mind.😆


thefalloftroy

Yes, indeed 😏


ProfessionalJumpy769

No. It's a sinful toy.


Cram2024

Massager


barebarry

Yep. Not that kind of massager.


nstntmlk

You never know!


Master_H8R

Says who?


Cram2024

Huh?


chris_rage_

... doesn't take batteries


ubiquitous-joe

So it’s analog?


chris_rage_

Well... Yes


CallsYouCunt

Well I still jerk off manually


stuntbikejake

r/unexpectedbiglebowski


Any-Long-83

Not really. It's cordless


merrill_swing_away

Wind up.


chris_rage_

I'm just letting everyone know I got a warning for a fairly vanilla comment on here because it was "vulgar" or something... Someone doesn't know humor


MatchesForTheFire

Is it too late?


patronizingperv

But it can be!


Foxy_locksy1704

Pressure point massager, they are INCREDIBLE for shoulder/neck pain.


Captinprice8585

Depends on the user but, back massager.


Traditional-Book9054

Depends on the user back, but massager.


merrill_swing_away

Unless you are a giant. If so, the item is a huge jack. There should be a very large ball laying around somewhere and more jacks.


The_Empty_And_Broken

Thank you for reminding me of what those are called. Jack was actually my first thought, I just couldn’t find the word for it.


merrill_swing_away

:D


lubacrisp

You left a t off the butt


DifferentNewt5410

Anything is a seat if you're brave enough lol


btalex

Rule 34


MuffinGiggles

A caltrop with bludgeoning damage


oilfeather

D4 if I'm not mistaken.


PsychicTea422

D8 if placed over an oil slick first.


Parking_Train8423

progressively sized for nonpermissive environments


No_Look5378

Thought it was a caltrop after new OSHA regs.


Hot-Challenge8656

That bastard Santa been messing up your roof too?


drifterig

i got the exact same massager, i think its from ikea


Anxious-Mindfulness

It’s a massager for your shoulder. It doesn’t have enough spokes to be a jack. These were popular in the 90s and 00s.


ClickClackTipTap

They’re great for getting pressure points- it really saves the effort of using your fingers, which can be much harder to do.


Anxious-Mindfulness

You are right! And the pressure is more consistent.


likeablyweird

I played with these in the 70s and Dad did in the 40s. It's multi-generational! :)


Leipopo_Stonnett

It’s a massage tool, I have a white one exactly like it.


YayGilly

Its a back massager.


afriendincanada

[Massager](https://www.amazon.ca/Handheld-Massager-Structure-Relaxing-Massage/dp/B0CBRMD2FK)


HalcyonDreams36

It's a massage tool, for working out knots/trigger points. The knobs are different sizes to get at different areas.


Remarkable_Wolf5811

It’s a body massager. I have one just like it made from clear glass. It actually works quite nicely. Just avoid running it over someone’s spine! Made that mistake once 😑


whimsicalnihilism

Massager


workahol_

Giant methane molecule


hatenjwinter

A big jack.


JescoWhite_

Hard to tell the size but also think this is a jack


xikbdexhi6

In comparison to the thread of the seam in the furniture, not even a big jack


Mr_Tchuwinsky

It's funny that the right answer isn't getting much attention. Larger jacks like this are used as decoration - you can find them on Amazon and at discount stores. I have one that I use as a bookend (it's metal, not purple).


hatenjwinter

It's reddit everyone is always right or has something to say.


Thatguynoah

There is zero doubt this is a back massager. Not a jack. Look up a picture of a jack, it has 6 points.


The_Empty_And_Broken

Aw, but I really wanted it to be a big jack.


carpentizzle

Well thats because its a back massage tool. Not a jack.


ChampionTop6932

Not sure but use gloves when touching it…


pornfaperator9476

Right, wouldn't want to get any massage juice on your hands


carpentizzle

Because of all of the backs this has rubbed?


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Ok_Watercress_7801

Four way tug of war


lickityclit-69

Vavavoom


Ok_Macaroon9305

Massager I think Jack's are six sided


Traditional-Self3577

massager


aretheesepants75

$1.25 store massager


BitCurious8598

You don’t know Jack…


Substantial-Monk-472

Giant jack


Ok_Watercress_7801

*intended for decorative use


Fluffy_Web8995

It’s definitely a back and shoulder massager. I have one that I’ve had for about 20 years.


A_SNAPPIN_Turla

It's a four way butt plug.


Flutterflut

Looks like a decorative jacks statue type thing


IsisArtemii

It’s reminiscent of a jack from the game of jacks. But I think it’s a massage tool. Hold one of the knobs ( groan!) while applying pressure with the others to your body. Can’t imagine having good luck trying to do under your shoulder blades, but someone might be kind enough to work those areas for you.


SeparateBrain9832

A giant jack


ulnek

If there's a big ball somewhere near it, it's a game of jacks. If not, it's a massager


benpruett777

Who's gonna tell em?


Blusn8k

Careful not to sit on it.


10e1

Did you find it in your parents bedroom?


Tall-Vermicelli-4669

Thanks for saving me, I was going to say that the op didn't know Jack


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lclassyfun

A jacked up jack.


DeadCeruleanGirl

Caltrop for kids?


likeablyweird

LOL One piece from a very large game of jacks .


Venator2000

Massage therapy device OR a giant jack, if you’re playing jacks.


SpezEatsScat

Sphincter stretcher.


diablito916

not just a jack, it’s A JACK *echo echo echo*


MrBahjer

Training crowsfoot /s


EyeYamNegan

It is the next step in warfare against parents. Legos on the floor were not enough they had to develop the newest form of caltrop that will ensure if you walk barefoot you will never walk comfortably again in your life. I am 100% certain of this!!! That or it is just a massager.


DismalEfficiency4207

A dildo for sure


Key_Introduction_302

Smell it...


amishninja414

The devil... When your foot finds it in the dark


Hot-Rise9795

It's a molecule ! Okay, it's a massager. But it looks like a molecule.


RPDinSLC

Tetrahedral VSEPR geometry up in here


Hot-Rise9795

Totally tetrahedral https://preview.redd.it/mwfp5ozz98oc1.png?width=1472&format=png&auto=webp&s=e8b969875885898d0cea5bdf4a148e953985954c


chesterlynimble

Where is this thing?


Helpful_Brain1413

A tool.to bring you, and 3 others "really close" to one another.


5DollarWatch

Social Buttplug


Complex-Stable-5148

Sold as a massager but doubles as an off label butt plug if you're adventurous.


NepentheTripleSix

Everlasting Gobstopper


MellyKidd

A massaging tool


Apprehensive-Way4307

Quattro mommy pass afire


ddwood87

Different pokes for different folks.


HeyJoe1978MS

Do you know what kind of massager though?


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whatisit-ModTeam

Please try to keep things reasonably civil on this sub.


Quirky_Discipline297

A beginning of a beautiful friendship


donpuglisi

You sit on it


redwolf8402

misformed caltrop?


PetAsianWife

Ohhh this game looks fun! 🤩


BrickAddict1230

Now do a wrong answers only edition…


nedrostark

Personal massager. No, not that kind, gram.


Striking_Reindeer_2k

A way for two couples to really "connect" with each other.


sanctifymeohLord

looks like a massager or something aliens use in Area 51


Glittering-River-776

The massager every aunt and grandma has ever owned


slideinmee

Massager and works great for my prostate.


FirestarThunderclan

Make it sharp and put it on a seat and tell somebody to sit on that seat. (If that object is small.)


Ok-Wrongdoer-2179

It's a mouth exerciser. Try it!


Helldorado1

Plug?


ItzSmiff

The prototype of a Plumbus


supertrenty

That's a seat. So I've heard


lockhack3r

Is a tire jack. You throw it in the street to flatten enemy tires.


king3969

I think it's called a jack rock


[deleted]

I don’t know jack about these kind of things


stopthebanham

Looks like you sit on it and it keeps you balanced?


Flux_resistor

Fun with friends


BeerRaddish

If you’re brave enough…..


Illustrious_Camp_521

It's a GIANT JAX JACK JACKS ? whatever..


PhotoJoeCA

Something that r/nursing frequently finds themselves posting on "foreign object Friday".


Prestigious_Gold_585

It looks like a chemistry model to me.


Dedadrda

Depends how creative and brave you are….


Dj_AshyKnees

If I told you you’d have to sit on it


spont_73

Devils foresome


Relevant_Campaign_79

Rheumatoid Arthritis


Fine_Conclusion9426

Did you never have a childhood?


[deleted]

You don't know Jack?


Snorkeldude1

It’s a human stand


DudePDude

A jack


EasternAnywhere1010

Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough


Puzzled-Ad2295

Pain, nothing but pain. The metal ones were worse. Worse than stepping on Lego. Modern version of caltrops.


carpentizzle

Its a back massager


ItsACowCity

If it fits, I sits. 😳


Sad_Ad4307

Anyone else see a butt toy? Or just me.?


No-Couple1588

I see it.


[deleted]

Give it a sniff. If it smells like low tide.. well.. then you know what it is.


ZealousidealDog4802

It's perfect for scissoring.


Paladin_Fury

https://preview.redd.it/fuwgeuzh75oc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3039de3964b60adcc6a6de299eab60ae18095175 ?