I have a saucy answer when people say they wish they got to use a wheelchair, "I'm sure it can be arranged" said ominously. Baseball bat to the knees anyone???
No, I got it. I just stole the opportunity.
My go to is "Sure! I'll take a winning multi-state lottery ticket." They always say that they would keep it themselves which makes them less altruistic. lol!
But it puts us on an equal level, both wanting the lottery ticket.
To well intentioned, but not not wanted assistance offers I reply “No thanks, this is my workout”.
They tend to follow with a joke about strong arms & leave me to go about my day.
Omg yes list the stuff you actually need help with so they realise they are not actually that committed to helping someone, just trying to make themselves feel better. If they are committed and not creepy then you get help that's actually useful.
I just loudly and repeatedly keep saying “I don’t need help” if they try to keep insisting when I say no.
If they stop trying to help but ask if I’m sure I might say something like “there’s plenty I can’t do, don’t take away the things I can”
I have just developed a really good annoyed stare for when they won't take no for an answer. There is no mistaking this glare for anything other than "You have pissed me off. Go away now."
As an overly polite midwesterner, I just say no thank you or I'm good but in that sweet yet stern tone. It has a weird uncomfortable feeling that gets people to ope out of the situation. I also like the I'm good but thanks for offering in my normal voice. I don't like confrontation at all, and it usually goes pretty well.
I have, by pure startle reflex, gut-elbowed a guy who 'helped' me up a hill.
I was wearing headphones and the hill was steep so I was slower, but out of nowhere my chair rockets forward and I feel the hands near my hips as my **handles and backrest** were folded. I didn't even think, I just shot my elbow back.
I do feel a little bad but I did make sure to say "dude, you need to ask, you scared the crap out of me".
I'd rather live in a world where I am briefly bothered by someone asking me if i want help with something than one where people who do need help don't get offered for fear of offence.
So I live in an area where I'm Almost Home in if they can pray either with me or for me. I don't like this and I find it disrespectful and annoying. Like lady I'm shitting in a barnes & noble, go away.
Anyway normally what comes up with these kinds of situations for me is people asking what happened. So out of irritation for random people that I don't know I've just started telling the most elaborate fucking stories that I can think of.
I told one lady I got hit by a train. I told another lady that I was sumo wrestled by my dad. I told the dude in Walmart that I got bored 1 day and thought riding on top of a car would be fun. However if they're really irritating and annoying then I will 100% just deep dive into the most detailed and atrocious story you can think of.
I was bathing on the beach when a shark attacked me, but luckily a helicopter needed water to put out a fire and it accidentally picked me up.
When it threw me into the mountains, I fell among the trees, and a bird took me as one of its young. I survived thanks to the fact that he fed me but one day he threw me out of the nest to see if I could fly.
I didn't have wings so I stamped myself on the floor.
I'm still in the polite saying "I can do it, I don't need help" loudly stage, but one day I'd really like to just start screeching wordlessly as soon as someone touches my push rims
At the dump I like to flip the script and ask them if they need help with anything after they ask me. Usually they just walk away looking confused.
I’ve trained myself not to look up when some rando shouts from across a parking lot. Unless they say my name or literally block my path I don’t acknowledge them. Don’t reward their behavior and they stop.
Most people are just trying to be nice not imply you’re incapable. Try to give people credit instead of assuming they’re assholes. That’s a sad way to look at life.
It's best to just spritz them with a water bottle while loudly saying "No!"
I like to ask ‘with what?’ They usually don’t know what do after that.
I have a saucy answer when people say they wish they got to use a wheelchair, "I'm sure it can be arranged" said ominously. Baseball bat to the knees anyone???
Them: "Can I help you?" Me: "Maybe. Can I have your spinal cord?"
Okay, gonna use this one. In the past I've responded enthusiastically "Absolutely, yes! I need my taxes done!" It lands better around April
I'll do that for you (for a price).
Apparently my joke didn't land, drat
No, I got it. I just stole the opportunity. My go to is "Sure! I'll take a winning multi-state lottery ticket." They always say that they would keep it themselves which makes them less altruistic. lol! But it puts us on an equal level, both wanting the lottery ticket.
If I had a spinal injury this would be mine lmao
After they help without us asking “do you feel better now?”
To well intentioned, but not not wanted assistance offers I reply “No thanks, this is my workout”. They tend to follow with a joke about strong arms & leave me to go about my day.
Sir (or Ma'am) this isn't Wendy's. Hey, while you are at it, do you do windows? I can't really reach to clean them.
Omg yes list the stuff you actually need help with so they realise they are not actually that committed to helping someone, just trying to make themselves feel better. If they are committed and not creepy then you get help that's actually useful.
I just loudly and repeatedly keep saying “I don’t need help” if they try to keep insisting when I say no. If they stop trying to help but ask if I’m sure I might say something like “there’s plenty I can’t do, don’t take away the things I can”
Nice one
I always interrupt their behavior and ask for money that usually either makes them go away or I get money outta it😂🤣
Love it
I have just developed a really good annoyed stare for when they won't take no for an answer. There is no mistaking this glare for anything other than "You have pissed me off. Go away now."
***I like ya;*** ***and I want ya.***
As an overly polite midwesterner, I just say no thank you or I'm good but in that sweet yet stern tone. It has a weird uncomfortable feeling that gets people to ope out of the situation. I also like the I'm good but thanks for offering in my normal voice. I don't like confrontation at all, and it usually goes pretty well.
I have, by pure startle reflex, gut-elbowed a guy who 'helped' me up a hill. I was wearing headphones and the hill was steep so I was slower, but out of nowhere my chair rockets forward and I feel the hands near my hips as my **handles and backrest** were folded. I didn't even think, I just shot my elbow back. I do feel a little bad but I did make sure to say "dude, you need to ask, you scared the crap out of me".
Difficult ways to learn a good lesson
I'd rather live in a world where I am briefly bothered by someone asking me if i want help with something than one where people who do need help don't get offered for fear of offence.
The ones who ask aren't a problem most of the time. The ones who assume are.
Asking is usually sweet, just doing it is infantilizing and aggravating
So I live in an area where I'm Almost Home in if they can pray either with me or for me. I don't like this and I find it disrespectful and annoying. Like lady I'm shitting in a barnes & noble, go away. Anyway normally what comes up with these kinds of situations for me is people asking what happened. So out of irritation for random people that I don't know I've just started telling the most elaborate fucking stories that I can think of. I told one lady I got hit by a train. I told another lady that I was sumo wrestled by my dad. I told the dude in Walmart that I got bored 1 day and thought riding on top of a car would be fun. However if they're really irritating and annoying then I will 100% just deep dive into the most detailed and atrocious story you can think of.
I was bathing on the beach when a shark attacked me, but luckily a helicopter needed water to put out a fire and it accidentally picked me up. When it threw me into the mountains, I fell among the trees, and a bird took me as one of its young. I survived thanks to the fact that he fed me but one day he threw me out of the nest to see if I could fly. I didn't have wings so I stamped myself on the floor.
Exactly!
I'm still in the polite saying "I can do it, I don't need help" loudly stage, but one day I'd really like to just start screeching wordlessly as soon as someone touches my push rims
At the dump I like to flip the script and ask them if they need help with anything after they ask me. Usually they just walk away looking confused. I’ve trained myself not to look up when some rando shouts from across a parking lot. Unless they say my name or literally block my path I don’t acknowledge them. Don’t reward their behavior and they stop.
Most people are just trying to be nice not imply you’re incapable. Try to give people credit instead of assuming they’re assholes. That’s a sad way to look at life.
spiked handles! Say no and if they try…well itll hurt
I saw it somewhere!