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tgawk

Seriously who designed this? There is not one part of that house that makes any sense. Also: no one wants to have their bathtub in full view, 6 feet away from their bed.


CarbyMcBagel

There also appears to be a window looking into a closet in one room...


tgawk

Oh dear I went back to look and there is a huge mirror on the wall across from the tub. I don’t need to see that.


Goldfingr

I don't understand why people who want to build castles put in cheap single-pane windows. I see it so much in the "homemade" castle genre. Have they never looked at a picture of an old structure?


dasteez

Would have worked better with less vinyl windows and flooring. ‘Modern castle’ shouldn’t be a thing. Needs more raw wood features inside imo


TreacleNo9484

And vinyl floors.


kkeennmm

a woman was involved in NO phase of this design


OrifAce

All framed up, so you can finish making even more awkwardly shaped rooms... I think someone missed the memo on how to decorate. Modern art above a sleigh bed?


pinkeroo67

They really screwed up the kitchen, and who's idea was it to stack the upper cabinets?


Bethw2112

With a house that wants to be a show piece, the kitchen better be fucking huge and immaculate. That kitchen is absolutely tragic.


lbslip

So many doors off of the kitchen, too. All different heights and styles. Was someone challenged to a bet to use all the doors in a house that the other person randomly picked?


OK_Ingenue

Wonder what the story is on this house (excuse me, castle)? My guess is they ran out of money. First tried to compensate by being as cheap as possible on the interior. Then finances petered out all the way. Or a divorce? Or maybe reality hit and they figured out building a “castle” was a dumb idea. What on earth would cause them to put a bathroom smack in the bedroom? And I think it is the master. Maybe they wanted to create a “wedding suite” but didn’t figure out that you are supposed to use a hot tub. Or they ran out of money for the hot tub and went with second best. But seriously, even a hot tub in a bedroom is kinda intrusive. Bet they’ll have to drop the price very significantly to sell.


dasteez

A series of bad decisions for sure that led to ‘ran out of money’. Says built in 2017 so gotta wonder if they were riding a a game of thrones wave and Petered out XD


oopsiedaisy58

Is it trying to be a vineyard destination/Airbnb?Some parts are very interesting & really nice, some are not. A property like this needs horses


dasteez

That would be my guess, certainly a wine/touristy region. Maybe they ran out of capital for the project or hit some red tape. I imagine if it wasn’t so tacky it would have easily sold by now. 10 improved acres isn’t particularly cheap in the area these days.


ScarletDarkstar

Yes, they completely skipped the planning phase of a destination vineyard, and ran out of money. The grapes take years to be profitable; they had to walk out with framing in progress, but have a huge patio table like they were in business.   It looks like they had a vision, and started at it from 6 different points without coordination.  


Lindaspike

well, they have five garages - maybe they could convert it to a stable.


valkasha

With a rare few older exceptions I have never seen an American "castle" that did the word any justice. They all look so tacky and manufactured.


pussellrarker

I’d expect a castle to be bigger than 1mm tbqhwy


Significant-Dog-8166

It’s definitely expensive inside and out but the interior starts to fall apart on the theme and quality of materials.


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Squirmadillo

You can just edit the comment bro


pussellrarker

oh yeah. Am idiot


Squirmadillo

😂 go read your edited comment


MaximumTurtleSpeed

If you live in a “castle” and have knight’s swords mounted to the walls, you are obligated to have a Round Table in the dining room.


Mesterjojo

With its own vineyard. Why do people build expensive homes but use teeny tiny acrylic bath tubs? Wtf man


dasteez

Attention to detail doesn’t build you a castle for a million bucks anymore! I’d personally much rather have a 1/3 size house with nicer finishes


moooeymoo

The upper cabinets in the kitchen don’t have handles. Minor cosmetic thing but it bugs me. It looks weird, cabinets stacked on cabinets


My_Clever_User_Name

A lot of times, double-high cabinets, the top ones will be seasonal storage. And as such, I like them, because I have a creepy storage-fetish. I assume it's got some kind of hidden latches, or you might get brained by a box of Christmas ornaments.


My_Clever_User_Name

Picture #38. Is that a long table on the roof. A roof without a railing? And a silver table on the far side *right up next to the edge?*


Sprouty0

It's just a strange perspective. The tables are at ground level. The confusing thing is that the wall is just a decorative thin wall. So those tables are **on the ground** on the other side of the wall. See photo #3. It's not a roof.


My_Clever_User_Name

Ah, I see it now! Okay. I'm both relieved and disappointed.


Sprouty0

Was this done via DIY architecture and design? What is out the window of the room with the 2 twin beds (photo 34)? Is it the back of a fake facade from a tower wall? Does the underside of the stairs actually cut off the corner from the door moulding below it (photo 16)? And the top stair landing's square corner with the rounded railing (photo 25) leaves a .... corner dust collector that just hangs out there showing off how big a mistake that part was? (I guess you could put greenery on it to hide that dangling corner.... maybe?) And from that stair landing view: the curtain rod of the big red curtain next to the window is lower on one side. But maybe that issue is the cat's fault.


YellowOnline

Terrible mix of Minecraft exterior and The Sims interior.


omibus

Too close to my in-laws, otherwise I’d be interested in this.


Cultural_Pattern_456

Had to have been a Airbnb that’s the only time I usually see bedrooms with showers/toilets lol


sejuukkhar

Why is all of the grass dead? Not just around the house. Across the entire property. Looks dry as hell too


dasteez

My guess is they recently landscaped/scraped the entire area to plant the vineyard and didn’t irrigate the grass parts, looks pretty sandy. Too busy building the castle to tend the fields!


CarbyMcBagel

Someone went to Excalibur in Vegas and said "Yep, that's it...this is what I want for my home!"


ptyson1

Futon theater is a nice touch.


illhxc9

Medieval times in the streets, normal house in the sheets.


C1K3

I dunno, that looks bigger than a millimeter.


Dangersloth_

Wow. This is just ugly AF. I think a good contractor could give this place a facelift and it might be ok.


witchitieto

Looks like a CS GO map


Frankensteinnnnn

That whole place is less than a millimeter? What do you mean mm? Marshall Mathers?


catthalia

McCastle


Darkwing_Turducken

I hate that I know where that is…


Federal-Membership-1

JFC! Demonstration of taste and wealth being inversely proportional. It looks like a gamer came into money and designed the thing themselves. The faux stone looks like an attraction at an old theme park that time passed by.


Lindaspike

nope. ugly as sin. and the interior is almost worse than the exterior!!! hundreds of white builders grade outlet covers for charming wall decor. and can someone explain the two unmatched doors in #16-17-18 that are smack next to each other under the stairs? if you open the smaller one it will slam right into the half-french door. the box fan in the window in #30? the view from the window in #34? is that the punishment room? and the upstairs isn't even FINISHED?


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Lindaspike

thanks! doesn't it make you wonder how many people are still carrying Neanderthal DNA in the genes?


Eladiun

On 10 acres with vineyards... I'm sold.


Nervous_Zebra1918

That microwave in the kitchen? Seriously.


Hot_Sprinkles6116

Castle? This is a manor house at best.


SecondBackupSandwich

…and the dark staircase contrasts with the light oak woodwork.