Second this, it takes a shockingly short amount of time (days in some places!) for a "guest" to attain "tenancy," after which they can't be removed from your house without a legal eviction process.
DO NOT LET THIS PERSON STAY IN YOUR HOME!
100% NTA, (and will not be for not letting her in, you are saving yourself a lot of trouble!)
šÆ WHY are you considering letting her move in at all with how she's treating you?!?!! She'll whine at you constantly until he bullies you into giving in. Or she'll just take it over when you're out one day lock you out, and refuse to leave.
OP, you can't make the relationship work when you're the only one trying.
In my state it is only 10 days. As someone who works in property management do not let her in. Evictions can take up to 2 months or even longer if they appeal. Even with all the name calling you can going to let her move in with you. You are too nice of a person and she is taking advantage of that. Just cut her completely off. Get a ring camera, let your neighbors know what he tonight in and possible an alarm. Op is NTA but her sister sure is.
listen, I can understand that the sisterās schedule would want to feel she lives in a real home, and not some tiny just-beyond-closet-size āguest roomā in someone elseās home.
But then she needs to not live in someone elseās home at all.
I know housing is tight everywhere, but if sheās making so much money that she deserves luxuries, she can find some other place to live.
Doesn't matter if she's only there for a week, having her stuff there can count as tenancy for a on/off worker like that. Better sister just rent a hotel for the week.
I think what is being pointed out, if the sister took the room when little sister is out. Little sister can lock her out of the house while she is gone for 2 weeks for work.... either way....DO NOY LET HER !!
Not only will she never leave, she'll use having the master bedroom as some reason to take over. "Oh, OP gave me the master because she's moving out and transferring the lease to me." or something.
I think she wants the master bedroom because she was going sneak/bring in a boyfriend to sleep in the room as well.
You would actually have two extra roommates. And, she will dig her claws in and screech about how he's not going anywhere.
If you give a greedy sister the master bedroom, she'll bring her boyfriend with her. When you let the boyfriend come in, will she say "thank you?" and eventually be on her way?
No, she'll look around and claim something else.
But...the mouse is much cuter and significantly less detestable than this sister.
This is more on the order of a Redditor-coined title of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of That Bitch"...
I was building off the book "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie," since the sister seems like she'd make escalating requests like the mouse. Instead of ever being satisfied, the mouse looked around for more things to take.
Huh! I'll have to take a look at that book! Thank you!
The entitlement of that sister is astonishing! And scary! Because of the reasons you stated, I would bar and brick up my house to fortify against her demands. Eff that!
It's an old, pretty popular children's book. I think you can find it for $8-11 at most places. Looking it up made me realize it's almost 40 years old. Yikes lmao
I looked it up, and it sounds really cute! It's also a cute lesson to the little ones to not be greedy. š
Yeah, I feel so old, too! šŖ 40 years, pffft!
She's mad because she can't get what she wants just by throwing money around. Also OP can keep using the two weeks gone 'excuse' as long as it is valid. It's not like it expires after saying it once
This!!! OP please donāt let her move in!! Sheāll accept the small room a day before she needs to move in because she wonāt be able to find other options. DONāT SAY YES. Keep your offer off the table! If anything just say you gave her a chance, she wasted it, and youāve got enough to deal with to add her problems to your life, she can figure it out as she had plenty more options as she said
Yeah, that was an easy out. What the hell? Sister needs a wake-up call.
Also, with that kind of schedule, and apparently good income? Iād be looking at a nice resort or wellness hotel for my week off. All the luxuries you want, and a week in a nice place should be cheaper than a monthās rent.
NTA. In fact, YWBTA to YOURSELF if you back down off then retraction of the offer for shelter in the small room. There is no growth there, no maturtiry. Hell she even spelled out that she considers you an "easy" pushover. Whether she only said that to hurt you or does indeed have other options, she is verbally abusive to you, and with her sense of entitlement, you now can't trust her to move in to your place and NOT immediately take over the master, even if she now apologised and said "I'll take the small room."
Are you feeling bad about defending your safe space because she is your sister? Would you take this crap from a friend or a stranger? I have a "my brother not welcome in my home" rule and I've never felt guilty about it.
Edit: + 2 words
Exactly. Someone who would demand you give up your bedroom rather than be thankful for the offer of your guest room is showing you who they are - a nightmare to live with even for a short time.
You took the offer off the table - don't respond to any further conversation on this topic. Hopefully she's never been given a key, if she has change the locks. This person feels entitled to take whatever she wants from you, make sure she has no physical access.
Agree. If OP lets her have the smaller room, entitled sister will just wait til OP leaves the house on an errand, switch rooms, put a lock on the stolen room, and fait accompli.
Might be fun, but certainly doesn't seem like a fact. I'm reading plenty of good sources that say it might cause grey hairs or it might not. Harvard being one. Still needs a lot more research, no?
Right?
I guess I have a hard time with AITAs like this...like, this can't be real.
"My sister is being a giant, entitled asshole, am I the asshole?" Like...what?
Of course OP isn't an AH in this situation, of course sister is the AH, and after sister kept acting like an an AH, OP comes back to ask AGAIN if they are the AH...
Just say no and be done? I donāt know why youāre even having a discussion.
Let her use her other options. Donāt deal with crazy any longer. Just say ānoā once, and then donāt let yourself drawn into a discussion, just ignore her replies for a few days. If she has other options, this shouldnāt be a problem.
NTA
PS: I also wouldnāt let someone who is trying to bully me and sends me a pic of a middle finger into my home. Call me old-fashioned but thatās not gonna work out lol
NTA
Don't let her stay with you. Considering she feels she can do whatever she wants in regards to you, she may be difficult to get out of the house.
Let's not forget the bullshit you'd have to put up with if she moved in. Since you're not her only option, just tell her it's done and block her.
My sister-in-law said almost the exact same thing when she was begging me for money talking about sheās in NYC and she needs some money and Iām like are you stranded or hungry? I was like Iāll help you if thatās the case and she was like oh baby if I were any of those things you wouldnāt have been my first call, I said bitch I donāt even know why you called me at ALLā¦take that approach next time her ass reaches outā¦fuck her and her luxuries
NTA
Stop dealing with her drama at all.Ā Just tell her that, given the impasse regarding her plans to move in, you won't be able to house her at all.Ā She'll need to make other arrangements for accomodations.Ā Ā
The block her.Ā If she shows up to your home, don't let her in.
Forget any lengthy, polite conversations or negotiations. Your offer needs to be taken off the table as of now.
Do not allow that cunt to move into your home. You will regret it. You could lose your relationship with your partner over this, and your mental health will get flushed down the toilet. Just stop this already.
Cut that bitch off. Forever. Stop cutting the rope then dropping another. Napalm that shit. Scorched fucking earth. And salt it when you're done for good measure. Block her. Everywhere. Phone. Socials. Make sure any family knows that they are not to share details about your life with her and that you do not want to hear anything about her. If she happens to be at a family gathering, be cool to her without being outright rude (unless she fucking starts it). Just a curt "hello" and walk away, if the hello is even necessary. If she attempts to talk to you, literally just turn and walk away. Leave if it becomes necessary. If (when?) a parent tries to force you to take her shit, you may have to draw more lines in the sand.
I'm really curious though. If she's making such great money FIFO, why does she not either rent an apartment to herself or just rent a locker or storage and stay in a hotel since she's only home 1/3 of the time? She could even do an extended stay hotel for the week she's home if she wants a kitchen. Or an AirBNB. If she's got all this money, she should use it to take care of herself instead of being a cunt to her sister. It's well past time that she learns that "little" sister doesn't mean doormat.
In the original post, many people advised you to withdraw the offer right away. I'm a bit alarmed to see you continued to negotiate with her... but thankfully she gave you an out, and you were able to take it.
Is there part of the story we're missing here? Has she hosted you in luxurious fashion in the past? Rescued you from a terrible housing situation at the last minute? I just can't understand why she would feel so entitled, and behave so badly, unless she's done you a similar favour in the past.
In any case, it looks like this is resolved. If she continues to harass you and send flying monkeys, by all means block her and them.
Just tell her no, then block her. Don't answer her calls, change the locks to your home, don't answer the door. You won't have to worry about being a doormat if you refuse to talk to her at all.
Cut her off permanently, end of story. As someone who has gone through this with a family member, twice to my embarrassment, let it go Elsa. She's never going to be the sister you would like her to be. It's sad, but it's true. Find people who actually care about you and bring joy to your life. BTW, if you have parents who try to guilt trip you into taking her back into your life, they can take a flying leap too. Set up some hard boundaries and stick to them. You deserve better.
personally, i would not want someone who is disrespectful and disregards boundaries to live in my own home, which is my safe space.
NTA
>Iām not perfect myself but I want this relationship to work.
Yes, but your sister *does not*. You canāt have a relationship with respect and trust when only one side wants it. At this point, while it will hurt bc she is your sister and you want the best for her, you need to let her sink or swim without you as the safety net. Speaking from experience here. It will hurt, but you canāt light yourself on fire just to keep her ungrateful self warm.
Cut. Her. Off.
She is being a fucking dick and you are Sooo far from being "petty" here. If she wants luxuries, and makes the kind of money that you're saying that she is, she can get Her OWN luxuries.
And stay the hell away from yours and your partner's.
If she has so many other options and yet was practically Begging you (note though, it was more like Manipulating you and Telling you what you were to do IN YOUR OWN HOME), then she can move in with someone else. Period.
She's treating you like a doormat. So pull yourself out from under her, laugh when she lands on her ass, and cut that manipulative bitch OFF.
ETA: I'm really sorry that you're going through this OP. Sisters shouldn't be fucking twats to their other sisters, but it happens. Even with her trauma though, she doesn't get to treat you like shit, or other people, for that matter. You can't control her actions, but you Can control your Reactions to them. And always remember, if You have childhood trauma too, and yet You're capable of being a good and kind person, then she Can Be too. She's just choosing NOT to be. And that has NOTHING to do with YOU, and EVERYTHING to do with HER.
MY childhood trauma made me a BETTER person, because I know pain and what it feels like to deeply hurt. I CHOOSE to AVOID putting people into that position, despite how I grew up, because I don't feel that others SHOULD be hurting, especially BECAUSE OF ME. Your sister is the OPPOSITE. She'd rather scorch the Earth around her, and everyone else, because "Oh no, I was HURT once. So NOW I DESERVE EVERYTHING I WANT. NO MATTER WHAT." But that's not how the world works, and that's not how decent human beings act.
She is Clearly deeply broken, and I DO feel bad for her, but you shouldn't have to deal with HER trauma response if she isn't going to be reasonable about it, and not hurt those that she should love. She Very Badly needs to get some help, and I Sincerely hope that she Does.... But she'd have to realize first that SHE'S the problem.... And that can take a Very long time and A Lot of self reflection and recovery.
Hopefully, when she gets older, she does go down that path. Only THEN should you reconcile.... Because until then? She is toxic, and you DON'T need to be dealing with all of THAT while going through YOUR OWN LIFE and your OWN trauma responses.
Wow, literally crying right now! Thanks, Iāve known all of this deep down but kept myself alight for her hoping for a change. She is the last family I still speak to, so itās hard to let goā¦.
I can understand that. But! You Do have your partner, and you seem to have a life you enjoy. Don't weigh yourself down waiting for her to change. When she does, Truly Does, she'll come back to you, because she'll realize how she's hurt you. And if she Doesn't change, then with time, it won't hurt anymore. She'll just be someone who used to hurt you.
I'm still so sorry that you're going through this. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and it Hurts, and it really isn't fair. But one day, you'll have your own family (or not, depending on your preferences), and you'll always have your own life to live.
Lean on your partner during this time. If they are worth their weight in gold, they'll be there for you.
~hugs~ Best wishes, and I'll keep you in positive thoughts (or prayers, if you're religious).
You've got this, and you deserve a life where you aren't being controlled.
This is very sad. I dunno, but She sounds like maybe a histrionic personality disorder. Look it up. Bit It's hard to find any really good descriptions of what one looks like. But hear this: If it is... Personality disorders NEVER change. NEVER. They never change because the person likes being who they are... they think their behavior is the right way to be, and they're always justified. And without their antics, they'd be starved for attention... They will never see your perspective. They're energy vampires to their "targets" all the way. To everyone else they're funny, adored and the life of the party. It's generally characterized as attention seeking, but its manifestations run the gammut. They will find someone to be their target, (like sister) who they subversively or blatantly dis on to everyone, try to isolate them, turn everyone against said target, and then turn around, come back, be sweet & try to "save" them and make themselves target's only "real" friend. They don't care whether it's negative or positive attention. If that's what you're dealing with, cut the cord and lock that door forever.
NTA
You CANNOT let her into your home. She is the poster girl for entitlement. She will make your life a nightmare. She will move into whatever room she wants when you are at work. Do NOT let her stay with you. EVER.
NTA. Your life, your house, your rules. Based on what you've written here, I don't know why you're even considering this clueless, entitled person to even live in your house at all.
>Iām not perfect myself but I want this relationship to work.
That's nice. But, she doesn't. She just wants to use you.
>Would I be the asshole if I cut off this bitch off again?
YTA for even asking this question. Yeesh.
NTA. If she's so obsessed with luxury, then she can pay for a hotel room on her weeks off. That way, she can have as much luxury as she wants. She's not entitled to anything in your home, even if she "pays more". You were trying to do something nice for her and she decided to try to abuse your hospitality before she even moved in. Imagine how she would have treated you once in your house...
NTA, and remember, "No" is a complete sentence. You set a boundary, and she sprinted across it like it was the start line of a marathon. Your home is your sanctuary, not a crash pad for someone who disrespects your generosity. Hold firm, reclaim your peace, and let her figure out her other "options." You owe her nothing when she treats your kindness like a doormat. Stay strong!
Tell her that since her workmate has an opinion on this and thinks you are being petty. They can let her move in with them. Then give her the bigger room since they think you not giving her the bigger room is petty. So they will have no issues with it.
NTA and WHY would you allow someone this freaking disrespectful in to your home in the first place? With family like this who needs enemies? Stop putting up with abusive shits NO MATTER who they are or your relation. She told you she has other options so she can go there.
āWell itās NOT the easiest option anymore. Bcoz thereās no more offer.ā
If sheās this torturous even before, am scared for you after. Donāt do it. Sheās an entitled brat.
This relationship is not going to work. Your sister had no respect for you, your home, or your boundaries. She thought she could bulldoze her way into your home and take over your bedroom and home.
Your sister is a shitbag who says she has other options, so let her go stay with the others she says she has lined up. Let her mates deal with her entitlement. I don't know why you're going backwards and forwards on this. Cut her off and be done with it. What are you gaining from a relationship with her besides stress and aggravation?
>Sister: āGirl you arenāt the very last and only option lmao your just the easiestā
"Oh, thank goodness. We dreaded having to live with you but thought we had a responsibility so you wouldn't be on the streets. If we had known you had another option, we would never have offered in the first place. This is so much better for all of us."
No NTA if you cut her off but donāt cut her off yet, every day text her and ask her how her other options are panning out until she cuts you off and then you never have to deal with her again
NTA. The mistake you made was offering your place to stay for your sister, when you KNOW she is fully capable of acting this way. You donāt invite people with whom youāve had a lifelong rocky relationship to come live with you.
This was never going to end well.
These kinds of high drama relationships do best at arms length, unless you just sever the relationship entirely. If you want some sort of relationship with your sister, then you accept that she is a rude, chaotic tornado who doesnāt care about you or your feelings. You talk about enigma, boring things, have short visits, and then you leave. If she gets rude or dramatic, you suddenly remember you have this thing you have to be at, and you leave. You donāt argue, reason, or quarrel. The visit or phone call immediately stops when she crosses a boundary, such as rudeness.
It is up to HER to figure out her own living and work situation. It is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. When she says she canāt find a roommate, you say, āHmmm, thatās too bad. Good luck with that.ā Then change the subject. When she demands to move in, you tell her no, it wouldnāt suit, and then change the subject, hang up, or leave.
Consider yourself lucky. You could have let her move in, and now have a squatter who has kicked you out of your own master bedroom, or the entire apartment.
Lol if you're not the only option then she can find alternatives. The longer you entertain this the more she'll just antagonise you. Nothing of this is ever going to get better, if she can't respect you now, then she never will. Why should you tolerate that?
OP do not allow your sister to move in, it will be hell and you will never get her out. End it now and accept that living together is a bad idea period
Your sister is for lack of better words an entitled bitch. If she has so much money and can afford luxuries, then she obviously has enough money to rent her own apartment and live alone bc who the hell would want to live with her?
Also, why doesn't the friend why she had flip you the bird move in with her? I'll bet it bc she is an entitled bitch to them. She graces the peasants with her presence. It is going to be a lonely existence bc she will drive everyone away with her arrogance as well.
CUT! CUT! CUT! If she ever falls on hard times, she will have a long fall from ego clouds, and no one will be around to give her an ego boost up.
NTA. Definitely cut her off. She only cares about herself and what she wants. You donāt need that kind of drama and toxicity in your life. Live a happy life without her entitled ass.
At least for now, cut off contact. So not reply to any communication that gets through your blocks.
You do not want her in your home. And imagine trying to get her to leave.
NTA hold tight on taking that offer off the table she has other offers let her take one of those options. Maybe the coworker will take her in since they are so supportive. Just cut her off you donāt need the stress
Damn even with all the history OP still fucked up and was willing to let her toxic, manipulative sister mover in at all....
Girl just don't. You may want the relationship to work out but the only way it does is with you as a stressed out doormat.
When someone tells you who they are, believe them
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Cut her off. Stop chasing her for a relationship that will never be healthy for you.
NTA, no one is an asshole for standing up for themselves.
You may *want* this relationship to work, but it's not possible to make that happen one-sided. If the other person isn't capable of healthy relationships, you have nothing to work with.
Since youāre not her only option then tell her to go somewhere else. I canāt believe youāre even entertaining the idea of her coming to stay at this point. Sheāll never leave if she comes in. Even if she takes the smaller room sheāll move into the larger one while youāre out. Sheās very entitled.
I said this on your last post but I'm saying it once again.
DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN.
SHE IS GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.
I'd cut her clean off myself, but I have no tolerance for that kind of BS anymore. Whatever you do though do not let her move in with you.
NTA
SHE is the reason why she can't find a roommate. Her behavior has alienated everyone around her and no one wants to put up with her.
Do NOT let her into your house.
>Would I be asshole if I cut this bitch off again?
Youāre an asshole to yourself for not cutting her off sooner. Or for not keeping it that way during the apparently numerous other times you cut her off because you were fed up with her shit.
Seriously, I know you want this relationship to work, but you canāt do that when the other isnāt trying to make it work too. If this is how she treats you(when things donāt go her way or otherwise), then thereās really no point. She isnāt even pretending to give a shit. Drop her and keep her dropped.
"It will be empty for two weeks" is not an excuse. It's the decision of the owner.
You offered her a bedroom and she demanded YOUR room.
With this level of disrespect for boundaries, sharing roof with this person would be difficult. You expect to have "your space" in your own home.
She told you she has other option, let those people deal with her bratty attitude. Don't let her step foot in your place because she will take it over in a blink of an eye.
If a stranger talked to you this way would you live with them? If the answer is fuck no (as it should be) then thats how it should be for your entitled sister
If you're not the last and only option she can fĆĆk off to one of her other options. Seriously first it's your master bedroom "cos I pay more". Then it'll be the decor in the common rooms "cos I pay more". Before you know it she'll have taken over your entire house. Cut her out of your life for good this time. You don't need that toxicity. NTA
āHow the fuck do you think I've had roommates beforeā
Mmm. Maybe because they didnāt know her? Sounds like once they get to know her, they no longer want to know her.
NTA!!! Dump that bitch fast. Block her everywhere. You have no reason to feel guilty. She is manipulating you. She wants you to feel guilty and give in because it sounds like you have in the past. You need to get some counseling for that. As someone who had to cut off her own mother for my own well being I truly understand how hard it is. But sometimes for your peace and sanity you have to. Family has many definitions and just because you share blood with someone does not mean that you have to put up with toxic and disrespectful behavior from them. That is not how family should treat each other. They should support and try to make your life better. Period. You must take care of yourself first. Self love is important and it's not selfish to prioritize your mental health. I have been through quite a bit of therapy and had to learn that to be healthy in my mental health sometimes I have to be a little bit selfish and prioritize myself.
āOkay then my offer is off the table.ā
Perfect.
Your sister can go to all her other options for housing. It is now not your problem, and I absolutely would not engage in this discussion further- EVER.
Nope..
NTA to either post. Seeing as you're just "the easiest" option.. your reply is perfect. Offer is off the table š¤·āāļø
Seeing as she gets paid sooo much and deserves luxuries.. she can book a suite at a hotel for her week lol. I know they get decent pay and have basic conditions at work but she chose that job, she keeps losing housing.. she can sort it. She's the older one anyway.. she can sort her own damn mess and leave you alone. You're sanity is worth way more n, omg no way I'd agree to that BS either .. that's insane! Lmao at the pic of her work mate.. oooo yeah that's really going to convince you to give up the big room š¤£š¤£š¤£ I wouldn't be surprised at all if the work mate doesn't even know the story
Man she's nuts. Stuff letting her through the door. Good luck!
YWNBTAH, and you need to cut her off again, possibly permanently. Or at the very least until you're at a point where you will not allow someone to talk to you like that ever again, especially not someone who might potentially live with you.
"You're the easiest"?
Oh she can fuck all the way off with that fuckin comment. Time to become the impossible option because that shit ain't happening.
It's absolutely disgusting to me how she's treating you. At the end of the day, it's your life and your choices but I feel your mental health will be in a much better way by keeping her at arms length or more for a good while.
NTA. She should enjoy the "luxuries" of sleeping on someone's couch after turning down a perfectly good guest room.Ā
If she were a friend, you would cut her off so the fact that the same person gave birth to you both should not weigh a bit. No contact approved!
NTA for wanting to cut her off. Y T A for indulging her with this penny ante childish arguing over text. Your only answer should have been "hope you find alternate accommodations, best of luck!" then block.
NTA, I would have told her that if she canāt behave then she needs to find somewhere else to live the first time she argues about getting the master bedroom. Donāt just cut her off āagainā cut her off for good. She can figure out her own shit. If sheās getting other people to call you names and flip you off, tell her that they can help her and to leave you out of it.
You'll be cleaning up after her, she'll insert herself in your relationships and you'll have her negativity at home all the time. When will you recharge or have peace? Don't let her in the door!
Nta. Cut her off. She isn't entitled to anything. It sounds like having her stay would be toxic to your mental health. Let her cheeky coworker take her in. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. You have told her that the offer is off the table. Now stick to it, and block her the next time she sends you anything remotely disrespectful. I have a feeling that her other options are a lot more limited than she's letting on, but that is not your problem. Given your turbulent history, your offer of the spare room was more than generous. But, I wouldn't even allow her that any more.
If you let her in, with her attitude (wanting to take over your home) she will never leave.
Second this, it takes a shockingly short amount of time (days in some places!) for a "guest" to attain "tenancy," after which they can't be removed from your house without a legal eviction process. DO NOT LET THIS PERSON STAY IN YOUR HOME! 100% NTA, (and will not be for not letting her in, you are saving yourself a lot of trouble!)
šÆ WHY are you considering letting her move in at all with how she's treating you?!?!! She'll whine at you constantly until he bullies you into giving in. Or she'll just take it over when you're out one day lock you out, and refuse to leave. OP, you can't make the relationship work when you're the only one trying.
I bet mom is involved, pushing OP to give in.
Right! OP here is a pair of scissors ā ! Start cutting! She clearly has no desire to change. She can stay in a hotel. NTA
In my state it is only 10 days. As someone who works in property management do not let her in. Evictions can take up to 2 months or even longer if they appeal. Even with all the name calling you can going to let her move in with you. You are too nice of a person and she is taking advantage of that. Just cut her completely off. Get a ring camera, let your neighbors know what he tonight in and possible an alarm. Op is NTA but her sister sure is.
If yiu would have read the OP, the sister has a 2week on/1 week off schedule. The kind that she needs her own housing for the week off only.
listen, I can understand that the sisterās schedule would want to feel she lives in a real home, and not some tiny just-beyond-closet-size āguest roomā in someone elseās home. But then she needs to not live in someone elseās home at all. I know housing is tight everywhere, but if sheās making so much money that she deserves luxuries, she can find some other place to live.
Doesn't matter if she's only there for a week, having her stuff there can count as tenancy for a on/off worker like that. Better sister just rent a hotel for the week.
I think what is being pointed out, if the sister took the room when little sister is out. Little sister can lock her out of the house while she is gone for 2 weeks for work.... either way....DO NOY LET HER !!
especially if they pay anything
Absolutelyā¦ she will never leave knowing she can bully someone into getting her way.
Abusers gonna abuse
Not only will she never leave, she'll use having the master bedroom as some reason to take over. "Oh, OP gave me the master because she's moving out and transferring the lease to me." or something.
I think she wants the master bedroom because she was going sneak/bring in a boyfriend to sleep in the room as well. You would actually have two extra roommates. And, she will dig her claws in and screech about how he's not going anywhere.
If you give a greedy sister the master bedroom, she'll bring her boyfriend with her. When you let the boyfriend come in, will she say "thank you?" and eventually be on her way? No, she'll look around and claim something else.
If you give a mouse a cookie?? š¤£ Love it!
I'm glad someone got it š
I had to award you! It was my favorite book when I was a kid š¤£
But...the mouse is much cuter and significantly less detestable than this sister. This is more on the order of a Redditor-coined title of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of That Bitch"...
If you give a cockroach a crumb?
Plus you can legally poison them... š¤·š»āāļø
Lmao! That's awesome!
Same here, and thank you! I think of it a lot in these posts where someone asks for more and more from family and offer nothing in return.
God, yes! She's horribly exhausting.
I was building off the book "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie," since the sister seems like she'd make escalating requests like the mouse. Instead of ever being satisfied, the mouse looked around for more things to take.
Huh! I'll have to take a look at that book! Thank you! The entitlement of that sister is astonishing! And scary! Because of the reasons you stated, I would bar and brick up my house to fortify against her demands. Eff that!
It's an old, pretty popular children's book. I think you can find it for $8-11 at most places. Looking it up made me realize it's almost 40 years old. Yikes lmao
I looked it up, and it sounds really cute! It's also a cute lesson to the little ones to not be greedy. š Yeah, I feel so old, too! šŖ 40 years, pffft!
She'll probably feel entitled to OP's significant other as well, just to piss off OP and mark her new territory.
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Because Trauma
I'm sorry, but I read your comment in CGP Grey's voice š
Seriously. She'd be spraying her urine on everything and everyone if she moved in.
She's mad because she can't get what she wants just by throwing money around. Also OP can keep using the two weeks gone 'excuse' as long as it is valid. It's not like it expires after saying it once
And will start plotting ways to force OP out while keeping the place for herself.
Spot on! OP just dont let her in, she'll just give you stress and problem. Cut her off and live in peace.
Iām not sure how OP entertained this conversation at all. Iād just be a ghost from the jump
She will try to steal the bf tooā¦ sounds like the type of
This!!! OP please donāt let her move in!! Sheāll accept the small room a day before she needs to move in because she wonāt be able to find other options. DONāT SAY YES. Keep your offer off the table! If anything just say you gave her a chance, she wasted it, and youāve got enough to deal with to add her problems to your life, she can figure it out as she had plenty more options as she said
NTA. She FAFO and you called her bluff. Go tell her to stay with one of her āmanyā other options. Deuces! āš»
The FIFO FAFO
Do you smell anything?
The blood of an English man
How very generous of the sister to allow OP an out. š¤£š¤£š¤£
Dammit Jack, put that goose down now
Itās not a goose; itās Hei Hei. Now say youāre welcome!
Just what the Rock is cookin!
Jabrones.
Bones ground to make some bread!
Yeah, that was an easy out. What the hell? Sister needs a wake-up call. Also, with that kind of schedule, and apparently good income? Iād be looking at a nice resort or wellness hotel for my week off. All the luxuries you want, and a week in a nice place should be cheaper than a monthās rent.
NTA. In fact, YWBTA to YOURSELF if you back down off then retraction of the offer for shelter in the small room. There is no growth there, no maturtiry. Hell she even spelled out that she considers you an "easy" pushover. Whether she only said that to hurt you or does indeed have other options, she is verbally abusive to you, and with her sense of entitlement, you now can't trust her to move in to your place and NOT immediately take over the master, even if she now apologised and said "I'll take the small room." Are you feeling bad about defending your safe space because she is your sister? Would you take this crap from a friend or a stranger? I have a "my brother not welcome in my home" rule and I've never felt guilty about it. Edit: + 2 words
Exactly. Someone who would demand you give up your bedroom rather than be thankful for the offer of your guest room is showing you who they are - a nightmare to live with even for a short time. You took the offer off the table - don't respond to any further conversation on this topic. Hopefully she's never been given a key, if she has change the locks. This person feels entitled to take whatever she wants from you, make sure she has no physical access.
If OP lets her in she better be ready to go the legal route to get her out.
Agree. If OP lets her have the smaller room, entitled sister will just wait til OP leaves the house on an errand, switch rooms, put a lock on the stolen room, and fait accompli.
Do not let her in your home!
Stop wasting your time on her. She isn't moving in. End of story.
NTA Ask yourself a serious question. What are you getting out of letting her stay? Other than grief and ongoing stress. Thats your answer.
Dont forget early onset of gray hairs and wrinkles. Dont let this bitch age you anymore than she has!
Stress doesnāt actually cause grey hairs. It can cause hair loss: fun fact
Might be fun, but certainly doesn't seem like a fact. I'm reading plenty of good sources that say it might cause grey hairs or it might not. Harvard being one. Still needs a lot more research, no?
Right? I guess I have a hard time with AITAs like this...like, this can't be real. "My sister is being a giant, entitled asshole, am I the asshole?" Like...what? Of course OP isn't an AH in this situation, of course sister is the AH, and after sister kept acting like an an AH, OP comes back to ask AGAIN if they are the AH...
The offer should have been taken off the table ages ago. Why the fuck are you taking so much unnecessary shit?Ā
Just say no and be done? I donāt know why youāre even having a discussion. Let her use her other options. Donāt deal with crazy any longer. Just say ānoā once, and then donāt let yourself drawn into a discussion, just ignore her replies for a few days. If she has other options, this shouldnāt be a problem. NTA PS: I also wouldnāt let someone who is trying to bully me and sends me a pic of a middle finger into my home. Call me old-fashioned but thatās not gonna work out lol
NTA Don't let her stay with you. Considering she feels she can do whatever she wants in regards to you, she may be difficult to get out of the house. Let's not forget the bullshit you'd have to put up with if she moved in. Since you're not her only option, just tell her it's done and block her.
NTA. She pushed and she lost your sympathy. You're you're not required to let her into your home, much less to let get take over your home!
My sister-in-law said almost the exact same thing when she was begging me for money talking about sheās in NYC and she needs some money and Iām like are you stranded or hungry? I was like Iāll help you if thatās the case and she was like oh baby if I were any of those things you wouldnāt have been my first call, I said bitch I donāt even know why you called me at ALLā¦take that approach next time her ass reaches outā¦fuck her and her luxuries
It's like they think they're doing you a favor by mooching off of you.
You aināt never liedā¦
Why would you even consider letting that into your house? YTA to yourself if you let her move in at all.
NTA Stop dealing with her drama at all.Ā Just tell her that, given the impasse regarding her plans to move in, you won't be able to house her at all.Ā She'll need to make other arrangements for accomodations.Ā Ā The block her.Ā If she shows up to your home, don't let her in.
Forget any lengthy, polite conversations or negotiations. Your offer needs to be taken off the table as of now. Do not allow that cunt to move into your home. You will regret it. You could lose your relationship with your partner over this, and your mental health will get flushed down the toilet. Just stop this already.
Cut that bitch off. Forever. Stop cutting the rope then dropping another. Napalm that shit. Scorched fucking earth. And salt it when you're done for good measure. Block her. Everywhere. Phone. Socials. Make sure any family knows that they are not to share details about your life with her and that you do not want to hear anything about her. If she happens to be at a family gathering, be cool to her without being outright rude (unless she fucking starts it). Just a curt "hello" and walk away, if the hello is even necessary. If she attempts to talk to you, literally just turn and walk away. Leave if it becomes necessary. If (when?) a parent tries to force you to take her shit, you may have to draw more lines in the sand. I'm really curious though. If she's making such great money FIFO, why does she not either rent an apartment to herself or just rent a locker or storage and stay in a hotel since she's only home 1/3 of the time? She could even do an extended stay hotel for the week she's home if she wants a kitchen. Or an AirBNB. If she's got all this money, she should use it to take care of herself instead of being a cunt to her sister. It's well past time that she learns that "little" sister doesn't mean doormat.
Please stick to your text about the offer being off the table. Why do you want the relationship to work when this is how she treats you?
"im not an option at all, go somewhere else" -blocked- NTA
NTA. Cut her off. Sheās told you sheāll be fine without you so you donāt have to feel bad about it.Ā
I wouldnt take this annoying bitch to my home, let her be homeless. What a entitled brat.
In the original post, many people advised you to withdraw the offer right away. I'm a bit alarmed to see you continued to negotiate with her... but thankfully she gave you an out, and you were able to take it. Is there part of the story we're missing here? Has she hosted you in luxurious fashion in the past? Rescued you from a terrible housing situation at the last minute? I just can't understand why she would feel so entitled, and behave so badly, unless she's done you a similar favour in the past. In any case, it looks like this is resolved. If she continues to harass you and send flying monkeys, by all means block her and them.
She has done nothing of the sort, I am just a very defeated doormat I guess. Iām currently self reflecting on everything.
Get therapy
Just tell her no, then block her. Don't answer her calls, change the locks to your home, don't answer the door. You won't have to worry about being a doormat if you refuse to talk to her at all.
Cut her off permanently, end of story. As someone who has gone through this with a family member, twice to my embarrassment, let it go Elsa. She's never going to be the sister you would like her to be. It's sad, but it's true. Find people who actually care about you and bring joy to your life. BTW, if you have parents who try to guilt trip you into taking her back into your life, they can take a flying leap too. Set up some hard boundaries and stick to them. You deserve better.
I'm not surprised that she's just entitled; that's just how some people are. Anyway, I'm glad you're out of it. Stay strong!
INFO: regarding your last question, what on earth would you GAIN by keeping her in your life?
NTA. She is a choosing beggar.
NTA, and keep her cut off. I don't even know why you keep trying. When a person shows you who they are then BELIEVE them.
personally, i would not want someone who is disrespectful and disregards boundaries to live in my own home, which is my safe space. NTA >Iām not perfect myself but I want this relationship to work. Yes, but your sister *does not*. You canāt have a relationship with respect and trust when only one side wants it. At this point, while it will hurt bc she is your sister and you want the best for her, you need to let her sink or swim without you as the safety net. Speaking from experience here. It will hurt, but you canāt light yourself on fire just to keep her ungrateful self warm.
Cut. Her. Off. She is being a fucking dick and you are Sooo far from being "petty" here. If she wants luxuries, and makes the kind of money that you're saying that she is, she can get Her OWN luxuries. And stay the hell away from yours and your partner's. If she has so many other options and yet was practically Begging you (note though, it was more like Manipulating you and Telling you what you were to do IN YOUR OWN HOME), then she can move in with someone else. Period. She's treating you like a doormat. So pull yourself out from under her, laugh when she lands on her ass, and cut that manipulative bitch OFF. ETA: I'm really sorry that you're going through this OP. Sisters shouldn't be fucking twats to their other sisters, but it happens. Even with her trauma though, she doesn't get to treat you like shit, or other people, for that matter. You can't control her actions, but you Can control your Reactions to them. And always remember, if You have childhood trauma too, and yet You're capable of being a good and kind person, then she Can Be too. She's just choosing NOT to be. And that has NOTHING to do with YOU, and EVERYTHING to do with HER. MY childhood trauma made me a BETTER person, because I know pain and what it feels like to deeply hurt. I CHOOSE to AVOID putting people into that position, despite how I grew up, because I don't feel that others SHOULD be hurting, especially BECAUSE OF ME. Your sister is the OPPOSITE. She'd rather scorch the Earth around her, and everyone else, because "Oh no, I was HURT once. So NOW I DESERVE EVERYTHING I WANT. NO MATTER WHAT." But that's not how the world works, and that's not how decent human beings act. She is Clearly deeply broken, and I DO feel bad for her, but you shouldn't have to deal with HER trauma response if she isn't going to be reasonable about it, and not hurt those that she should love. She Very Badly needs to get some help, and I Sincerely hope that she Does.... But she'd have to realize first that SHE'S the problem.... And that can take a Very long time and A Lot of self reflection and recovery. Hopefully, when she gets older, she does go down that path. Only THEN should you reconcile.... Because until then? She is toxic, and you DON'T need to be dealing with all of THAT while going through YOUR OWN LIFE and your OWN trauma responses.
Wow, literally crying right now! Thanks, Iāve known all of this deep down but kept myself alight for her hoping for a change. She is the last family I still speak to, so itās hard to let goā¦.
I can understand that. But! You Do have your partner, and you seem to have a life you enjoy. Don't weigh yourself down waiting for her to change. When she does, Truly Does, she'll come back to you, because she'll realize how she's hurt you. And if she Doesn't change, then with time, it won't hurt anymore. She'll just be someone who used to hurt you. I'm still so sorry that you're going through this. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and it Hurts, and it really isn't fair. But one day, you'll have your own family (or not, depending on your preferences), and you'll always have your own life to live. Lean on your partner during this time. If they are worth their weight in gold, they'll be there for you. ~hugs~ Best wishes, and I'll keep you in positive thoughts (or prayers, if you're religious). You've got this, and you deserve a life where you aren't being controlled.
This is very sad. I dunno, but She sounds like maybe a histrionic personality disorder. Look it up. Bit It's hard to find any really good descriptions of what one looks like. But hear this: If it is... Personality disorders NEVER change. NEVER. They never change because the person likes being who they are... they think their behavior is the right way to be, and they're always justified. And without their antics, they'd be starved for attention... They will never see your perspective. They're energy vampires to their "targets" all the way. To everyone else they're funny, adored and the life of the party. It's generally characterized as attention seeking, but its manifestations run the gammut. They will find someone to be their target, (like sister) who they subversively or blatantly dis on to everyone, try to isolate them, turn everyone against said target, and then turn around, come back, be sweet & try to "save" them and make themselves target's only "real" friend. They don't care whether it's negative or positive attention. If that's what you're dealing with, cut the cord and lock that door forever.
NTA You CANNOT let her into your home. She is the poster girl for entitlement. She will make your life a nightmare. She will move into whatever room she wants when you are at work. Do NOT let her stay with you. EVER.
NTA. Your life, your house, your rules. Based on what you've written here, I don't know why you're even considering this clueless, entitled person to even live in your house at all.
NTA. Tell your sister to go stay at a daycare since she wants to act like a child.
Why are you even giving this any of your time? Say no, mean it, block her if she doesnāt get it.
>Iām not perfect myself but I want this relationship to work. That's nice. But, she doesn't. She just wants to use you. >Would I be the asshole if I cut off this bitch off again? YTA for even asking this question. Yeesh.
NTA. If she's so obsessed with luxury, then she can pay for a hotel room on her weeks off. That way, she can have as much luxury as she wants. She's not entitled to anything in your home, even if she "pays more". You were trying to do something nice for her and she decided to try to abuse your hospitality before she even moved in. Imagine how she would have treated you once in your house...
NTA, and remember, "No" is a complete sentence. You set a boundary, and she sprinted across it like it was the start line of a marathon. Your home is your sanctuary, not a crash pad for someone who disrespects your generosity. Hold firm, reclaim your peace, and let her figure out her other "options." You owe her nothing when she treats your kindness like a doormat. Stay strong!
NTA but why are you still arguing with her? You already told her no,just ignore her calls and messages. YTA if you let her move in.
Tell her that since her workmate has an opinion on this and thinks you are being petty. They can let her move in with them. Then give her the bigger room since they think you not giving her the bigger room is petty. So they will have no issues with it.
NTA, she is super entitled and can find someone else to bully.
NTA bro, your sister has 2 options and it's that simple 1) accept the small room 2) go to hell she decides
Time to walk away. Itās hard when itās family, but leaving the toxicity is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself.
NTA and WHY would you allow someone this freaking disrespectful in to your home in the first place? With family like this who needs enemies? Stop putting up with abusive shits NO MATTER who they are or your relation. She told you she has other options so she can go there.
āWell itās NOT the easiest option anymore. Bcoz thereās no more offer.ā If sheās this torturous even before, am scared for you after. Donāt do it. Sheās an entitled brat.
I hope this is a joke. After all that youāre *still* here asking if youāre the asshole? Stop being her bitch.
If she has other options it would be better for both of you if she availed herself of them.
This relationship is not going to work. Your sister had no respect for you, your home, or your boundaries. She thought she could bulldoze her way into your home and take over your bedroom and home. Your sister is a shitbag who says she has other options, so let her go stay with the others she says she has lined up. Let her mates deal with her entitlement. I don't know why you're going backwards and forwards on this. Cut her off and be done with it. What are you gaining from a relationship with her besides stress and aggravation?
NTA. Let her take those other options sheās bragging about.
You need to cut her off. Shut the door. Lock the door. Bar the door. And throw away the key. Hellā¦brick up the door. Do. Not. Open. Again. Period.
>Sister: āGirl you arenāt the very last and only option lmao your just the easiestā "Oh, thank goodness. We dreaded having to live with you but thought we had a responsibility so you wouldn't be on the streets. If we had known you had another option, we would never have offered in the first place. This is so much better for all of us."
No NTA if you cut her off but donāt cut her off yet, every day text her and ask her how her other options are panning out until she cuts you off and then you never have to deal with her again
NTA. She didnāt like the reasonable accommodation you have offered to her and says she can do better. Let her. No skin off your back.
She sounds like a user. Let her find someplace else to stay.
You're insane if you let her move in.
Thatās hilarious! Such entitlement from someone who is facing homelessness. Sure. Go find some place else. NTA please cut her off
You'd be the asshole if you didn't, holy shit. Do not let her stay there.
NTA. The mistake you made was offering your place to stay for your sister, when you KNOW she is fully capable of acting this way. You donāt invite people with whom youāve had a lifelong rocky relationship to come live with you. This was never going to end well. These kinds of high drama relationships do best at arms length, unless you just sever the relationship entirely. If you want some sort of relationship with your sister, then you accept that she is a rude, chaotic tornado who doesnāt care about you or your feelings. You talk about enigma, boring things, have short visits, and then you leave. If she gets rude or dramatic, you suddenly remember you have this thing you have to be at, and you leave. You donāt argue, reason, or quarrel. The visit or phone call immediately stops when she crosses a boundary, such as rudeness. It is up to HER to figure out her own living and work situation. It is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. When she says she canāt find a roommate, you say, āHmmm, thatās too bad. Good luck with that.ā Then change the subject. When she demands to move in, you tell her no, it wouldnāt suit, and then change the subject, hang up, or leave. Consider yourself lucky. You could have let her move in, and now have a squatter who has kicked you out of your own master bedroom, or the entire apartment.
"You knew I was a snake when you invited me in..."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NTA. Ditch her.
Are you crazy ? Absolutely do not let her in the door.
Donāt give yourself extra stress. Cut her off and go live your best life. She sounds awful
I saw master bedroom .. lmao fuck no you're not the asshole don't need to read hole story you pay bills your house not the asshole
Lol if you're not the only option then she can find alternatives. The longer you entertain this the more she'll just antagonise you. Nothing of this is ever going to get better, if she can't respect you now, then she never will. Why should you tolerate that?
You to go NC
Why are you even considering her offer? Block her ass and find another roommate if you need extra $$.
OP do not allow your sister to move in, it will be hell and you will never get her out. End it now and accept that living together is a bad idea period
NTA cut her loose.
She sounds like an entitled person
NTA
NTA honey cut her off she is planning on not moving out.
Nope, she feels entitled donāt bother with her no more until she comes, begging back and agrees to everything you say
NTA let her be someone else's problem. Like she said, she's got other options
F that B
You would kinda be TA if you DONāT.
Your sister is for lack of better words an entitled bitch. If she has so much money and can afford luxuries, then she obviously has enough money to rent her own apartment and live alone bc who the hell would want to live with her? Also, why doesn't the friend why she had flip you the bird move in with her? I'll bet it bc she is an entitled bitch to them. She graces the peasants with her presence. It is going to be a lonely existence bc she will drive everyone away with her arrogance as well. CUT! CUT! CUT! If she ever falls on hard times, she will have a long fall from ego clouds, and no one will be around to give her an ego boost up.
NTA. And Nope! Cut her off!!!
Do you want to live with that??? Wtf Why disturb your peace yikes? She's just going to get worse with time and watch her not respect your boundaries
NTA. Definitely cut her off. She only cares about herself and what she wants. You donāt need that kind of drama and toxicity in your life. Live a happy life without her entitled ass.
By far the easiest course of action would be to tell her fuck right off.
Cut the bitch offĀ
lol I wouldāve cut her off before this convo. She can use one of her other options. āš¾
At least for now, cut off contact. So not reply to any communication that gets through your blocks. You do not want her in your home. And imagine trying to get her to leave.
NTA. Don't let her move into your home. She's entitled and rude. Why would you want that in your home?
NTA hold tight on taking that offer off the table she has other offers let her take one of those options. Maybe the coworker will take her in since they are so supportive. Just cut her off you donāt need the stress
why the hell are you still talking to this bitch?
Wow you've gone way too far here, you should have cut her off as soon as she asked for the master bedroom...
Nah cut off this bitch again gurl. (nta)
Damn even with all the history OP still fucked up and was willing to let her toxic, manipulative sister mover in at all.... Girl just don't. You may want the relationship to work out but the only way it does is with you as a stressed out doormat. When someone tells you who they are, believe them Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Cut her off. Stop chasing her for a relationship that will never be healthy for you.
id show her these posts and say look what all these people said about you before cutting her off forever lol
Cut her off completely. She will not pay attention to anything g you say and Judy take over because she can
NTA, no one is an asshole for standing up for themselves. You may *want* this relationship to work, but it's not possible to make that happen one-sided. If the other person isn't capable of healthy relationships, you have nothing to work with.
Since youāre not her only option then tell her to go somewhere else. I canāt believe youāre even entertaining the idea of her coming to stay at this point. Sheāll never leave if she comes in. Even if she takes the smaller room sheāll move into the larger one while youāre out. Sheās very entitled.
Cut her off!!! Hopefully sheāll come to her senses and learn to respect boundaries.
YTA for not already cutting her off! Nothing about this situation suggests you two should regularly associate with each other.
I said this on your last post but I'm saying it once again. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN. SHE IS GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE. I'd cut her clean off myself, but I have no tolerance for that kind of BS anymore. Whatever you do though do not let her move in with you.
Cut her off. "You're just the easiest" didn't mean the easiest solution. It meant the easiest to kick around.
NTA SHE is the reason why she can't find a roommate. Her behavior has alienated everyone around her and no one wants to put up with her. Do NOT let her into your house.
Cut that bitch off for the last time. This should also be on /r/choosybeggars
>Would I be asshole if I cut this bitch off again? Youāre an asshole to yourself for not cutting her off sooner. Or for not keeping it that way during the apparently numerous other times you cut her off because you were fed up with her shit. Seriously, I know you want this relationship to work, but you canāt do that when the other isnāt trying to make it work too. If this is how she treats you(when things donāt go her way or otherwise), then thereās really no point. She isnāt even pretending to give a shit. Drop her and keep her dropped.
Tell her her no and to stay somewhere else and block her ghost her 100%
"It will be empty for two weeks" is not an excuse. It's the decision of the owner. You offered her a bedroom and she demanded YOUR room. With this level of disrespect for boundaries, sharing roof with this person would be difficult. You expect to have "your space" in your own home.
She told you she has other option, let those people deal with her bratty attitude. Don't let her step foot in your place because she will take it over in a blink of an eye.
If a stranger talked to you this way would you live with them? If the answer is fuck no (as it should be) then thats how it should be for your entitled sister
If you're not the last and only option she can fĆĆk off to one of her other options. Seriously first it's your master bedroom "cos I pay more". Then it'll be the decor in the common rooms "cos I pay more". Before you know it she'll have taken over your entire house. Cut her out of your life for good this time. You don't need that toxicity. NTA
āHow the fuck do you think I've had roommates beforeā Mmm. Maybe because they didnāt know her? Sounds like once they get to know her, they no longer want to know her.
NTA, no shame in cutting her off again. She canāt tell you what to do with your own home.Ā
If you let her move in now, you are TAH to yourself!!! Do not let her move in!!! Jesus Christ how many red flags do you need???
Could you please give me your sister's information so I can cut her off too?
Don't let her in your home. You don't need that kind of drama in your life.
NTA!!! Dump that bitch fast. Block her everywhere. You have no reason to feel guilty. She is manipulating you. She wants you to feel guilty and give in because it sounds like you have in the past. You need to get some counseling for that. As someone who had to cut off her own mother for my own well being I truly understand how hard it is. But sometimes for your peace and sanity you have to. Family has many definitions and just because you share blood with someone does not mean that you have to put up with toxic and disrespectful behavior from them. That is not how family should treat each other. They should support and try to make your life better. Period. You must take care of yourself first. Self love is important and it's not selfish to prioritize your mental health. I have been through quite a bit of therapy and had to learn that to be healthy in my mental health sometimes I have to be a little bit selfish and prioritize myself.
āOkay then my offer is off the table.ā Perfect. Your sister can go to all her other options for housing. It is now not your problem, and I absolutely would not engage in this discussion further- EVER.
Cut her off. Sheās an ungrateful A hole.
NTA She has options. She thinks she's helping you. Say I'm glad you don't need me anymore.
OP, you are NTA. Just say no. The word No is a complete sentence.
Nope.. NTA to either post. Seeing as you're just "the easiest" option.. your reply is perfect. Offer is off the table š¤·āāļø Seeing as she gets paid sooo much and deserves luxuries.. she can book a suite at a hotel for her week lol. I know they get decent pay and have basic conditions at work but she chose that job, she keeps losing housing.. she can sort it. She's the older one anyway.. she can sort her own damn mess and leave you alone. You're sanity is worth way more n, omg no way I'd agree to that BS either .. that's insane! Lmao at the pic of her work mate.. oooo yeah that's really going to convince you to give up the big room š¤£š¤£š¤£ I wouldn't be surprised at all if the work mate doesn't even know the story Man she's nuts. Stuff letting her through the door. Good luck!
Donāt let her in your house! Wow! I canāt imagine acting like that to anyone, let alone family.
YWNBTAH, and you need to cut her off again, possibly permanently. Or at the very least until you're at a point where you will not allow someone to talk to you like that ever again, especially not someone who might potentially live with you.
NTA. Do not let her in. She will take over your bedroom and you will not get her out that easily.
Don't let her move in. She could then have squatters rights. She sounds like the kind of person that would absolutely fuck you over.
Fuck, NTA, cut her off. If you're not her only option she can go to one of her others. End of.
"You're the easiest"? Oh she can fuck all the way off with that fuckin comment. Time to become the impossible option because that shit ain't happening. It's absolutely disgusting to me how she's treating you. At the end of the day, it's your life and your choices but I feel your mental health will be in a much better way by keeping her at arms length or more for a good while.
Please do not let her stay.
NTA. Text one last time and say she canāt move in and that you are going NC. Donāt respond to any messages or calls.
NTA
"If it gets harder from here you're gonna have a lot of trouble finding a place to stay" THEN you cut her off.
NTA. She should enjoy the "luxuries" of sleeping on someone's couch after turning down a perfectly good guest room.Ā If she were a friend, you would cut her off so the fact that the same person gave birth to you both should not weigh a bit. No contact approved!
Block her. Sheāll damage your mental health and relationship. She said she has other options. Tell her itās best to pursue them.
NTA for wanting to cut her off. Y T A for indulging her with this penny ante childish arguing over text. Your only answer should have been "hope you find alternate accommodations, best of luck!" then block.
NTA, let her go to her many options.
NTA, I would have told her that if she canāt behave then she needs to find somewhere else to live the first time she argues about getting the master bedroom. Donāt just cut her off āagainā cut her off for good. She can figure out her own shit. If sheās getting other people to call you names and flip you off, tell her that they can help her and to leave you out of it.
Nta then she can go use one of those other options. None of this is your problem. And her coworker can butt out.
You'll be cleaning up after her, she'll insert herself in your relationships and you'll have her negativity at home all the time. When will you recharge or have peace? Don't let her in the door!
Nta. Cut her off. She isn't entitled to anything. It sounds like having her stay would be toxic to your mental health. Let her cheeky coworker take her in. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole. You have told her that the offer is off the table. Now stick to it, and block her the next time she sends you anything remotely disrespectful. I have a feeling that her other options are a lot more limited than she's letting on, but that is not your problem. Given your turbulent history, your offer of the spare room was more than generous. But, I wouldn't even allow her that any more.