The entire situation was orchestrated to make you pay for fuel. NTA.
‘Hanging out’ was just an excuse to get you in the car and put you in a vulnerable position she could take advantage of. You had already cut her loose, she had nothing to lose and wanted one last payout.
NTA, her request for gas was reasonable when you’re asking her for favors, but literally inviting you out with the boys and then asking?
No. That’s not how it works.
NTA.
She might have looked back at your last interaction before this, when she drove you home after you refused to pay, and had some fantasies about leaving you. Then she wanted to put her fantasy into practice. Maybe the 3 other friends are in on it.
You have learned a valuable lesson. Just because you value someone and think of them as a sibling, that doesn't mean they value you for anything more than whatever you can provide for them. You did the right thing. In the future, never assume just because you do a favor or treat someone well that they will do the same if the tables happen to turn. Don't expect anything from anyone, but let them delightfully surprise you.
NTA
She’s not your friend.
It’s one thing when “can you chip in for petrol?” Is asked BEFORE you go out, then you have the option to not go. It’s something else when it brought up after and you’re the only one that is “asked”. That’s just shitty.
She left you stranded at a gas station, away from home, at 2 a.m , and you call that a friend?!
She set you up btw. And the people with you who didn’t protested, ain’t better. Bunch of vile nasty unsafe trash.
NTA asking to have someone contribute to paying for gas is not a bad thing. I also think if she was giving you rides consistently for a whole month, then she was not an AH to ask you to start helping with gas. Just because you could do it and were willing to do it for her does not mean she was in the same position. however, asking someone when you've given them a ride somewhere or are standing in front of the gas pump is wrong. This is a discussion that should be had in advance so the person being asked for money can decide if they want the ride or not. Demanding they pay on the spot and leaving them stranded is completely unacceptable. Your friend is an asshole and you're better off not being friends.
NTA. She does NOT DESERVE YOU 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I feel for you..I did everything for my friends growing up and only when I fell on hard times, I realized they didn't have my back. I'd rather have no friends than terrible friends.
Now my circle is small, but my friends now show me I deserve to be loved as I love them.
This person who left you stranded is vile and despicable. She did you a favour opening your eyes now so you don't need to invest in her any longer. Proud of you for blocking these people.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish you healing. You're going to find people who value you as much as you value them.
NTA Good grief. Something terrible could have happened to you. If she wanted you to pay money, she should have said so upfront that last time.
This is a good lesson though. You are the kind of person who just gives rides and never cares about the money. She's not. That's not a reflection on either of you as a person, but it's a place of not being compatible as friends. However, when she left you alone at 2am, she became a person you shld never talk to ever again.
NTA There are givers and takers and sharers in life. She's obviously a taker. She is not worthy of being your friend. Learn what you can from the relationship and move forward.
When I was around 20 years old I looked around at the people I spent time with and I didn't like what I saw. I made a clean break with everyone. It took me over a year to begin to establish relationships with the kind of people I wanted to be around. One of the better decisions I ever made.
Kudos to you for blocking them. Get clear within yourself of how you choose to be treated and then become that type of person.
NTA.
This woman is a user. She happily accepted rides from you, not just when it was on your way but expecting you to drive her wherever she wanted to go. Then when you need rides, she demands gas money from you. Not only that, when you refuse, she abandons you in a dangerous situation. You have every reason to consider this friendship over and block her.
Not about the OP ; in our friend circle, when we do activities like anything, everybody contributes something. If not now definitely the next time( like who will pay for the bill at the restaurant or at the takeaway)
NTA
Why did she not ask the others to pay?
Also why did you not say anything about the fact she never paid you for gas? Just tell her youll make a list about what she owes you.
Just me, but if I'm going to impose on someone else, I'm going to offer fair compensation in return. Most friends will decline the compensation and that's fine too, but at least we know where we stand going in.
NTA She is a user. I have been in situations like that before. It really sucks to know what people you consider friends think of you. Like I am the type of person who if I consider someone a friend I would give the shirt off my back not because I expect the same thing in return but because you know you like doing things for your friends (or feel bad when you say no, which for me it was a little of both).
I have been in these situations before. The first time something like this happens you are going to think, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe they are having money difficulties and are embarrassed. Maybe this maybe that anything to make it seem like those years of friendship were real and you werent just being used for a ride and as a ESA. But then it happens the second or third time (I am a doormat at times) you realize that some people either just dont know what friendship is or they are so self centered that they only care about themselves. It gets easier.
The best thing to do is just let that relationship die. Go over all the times you helped them and how many times they have actually showed up to help you (that is one thing which really helped me). Think what else you could have been doing with your time. And the wear and tear on your car. I dont suggest closing off your heart entirely but make sure your friends are who you think they are before rearranging your life to help them. Make sure they are people who have your back and wont leave you in dangerous positions to be petty. It is hard and will take time to find that balance between guarded and open. But you will get there.
Nta. Shes toxic as fuck. If I ask you to hang out knowing I have to pick you up, that's on me. Ive expect gas money on out of the way help at times and on trips. But this, nope.
Why didn't you just stand up for your self and ask her why she thinks you owe her gas money when you've been the one to drive her around until your car broke down? Honestly this is just your fault. I don't even feel bad.
In your 20s, friends are people you call when times are good.
In your 30s, friends are people you call when times are bad.
Congratulation, you've matured.
NTA and she sounds like the kind of bitch that'll get pregnant at 21 and have three kids by the time she's 25 and by 30? Shit she'll have enough kids to fill two basketball teams.
Man the blocking thing is getting old. It seems so childish. Ending a friendship is fine an all, but saying "I blocked them on x,y,z." makes it all sound so petty.
You're NTA for refusing.
Personally I would have explained that she never paid for gas when you were giving her rides and it seems unfair that she should expect you to.
Deff understand what you mean about blocking but i just didnt want any contact cause knowing her for many years she would contact and pretend it was a silly little joke
oh no! that was a setup. make no mistake - she planned to force you to pay and if she couldn’t, ditch you in the middle of the night. and she made sure there was an audience.
that’s some snake business there.
She left you at 2 am at a random gas station. That is unsafe on so many levels. There is no way in hell that is a silly joke or prank. Hell if she ever says that you I would say right back "Well jokes or not, you left me in a dangerous situation. You may have been making a joke but it put me in danger. I will not be put in danger again so yeah we are done. And for the record jokes dont involve leaving your friend stranded in the middle of the night that is literally just bullying."
INFO:
Is she/her family poorer than you?
Would you say she drove way more distance than you did?
Maybe she's ashamed to say she doesn't have enough money and is shit at communicating, or feels it's unfair she's driving too much.
From the post, NTA, but it reads one sided.
We both grew up in single parent households we both equally had and didnt have.. and she took me to work and home i dont really like going out i was a personal uber to her i took her wherever whenever she wanted cause again she was like family but even family betray you sometimes
ESH. She took your free assistance and then nickel and dimed you in the same situation, and the way she handled the confrontation and abandoned you sucked. Abandoning you at 2am was wildly irresponsible and unsafe. She’s the bigger asshole here.
You on the other hand were offered an inch and took a foot. She was willing to help, not be your sole personal chauffeur. She made a reasonable request for gas money and you refused, which was immature. And then instead of actually communicating you did the Gen Z therapy talk thing at her while she dropped rigid ultimatums on you.
Both of you need to grow up, stop freeloading off friends, and learn to use your words.
She never offered gas money when she needed the rides. After the expectation was made clear, OP stopped asking for rides. Then the AH offers a ride without mentioning gas, and only OP (not the 3 other passengers) is on the hook for gas?! No
My siblings dont pay for gas? Older and younger thats family💀 asking family to pay up wild to me personally cause i grew up in a Hispanic household where you do things for your family without putting a price tag on it
Yeah idk if its an ethnic thing or not. But it would be wild as hell for me to ask any family member for gas money. I dont think I know anyone who makes their family pay for gas money.
But either way if it was expected then she should have been paying you for all the rides.
Honestly, I feel like everyone in the comments you’re the one that really understand especially with this comment I have never ever ever made any of my family members paid for my gas if they needed to be somewhere that is your family at the end of the day so making them pay for gas is extremely wild. My mom literally took me up and down my own state. She’s taking me everywhere my entire life and I’ve offered her gas money and she said no we’re family and that we should never ever make our family pay.
Lol hey atleast thats better than when I asked my parents if I should contribute to gas money we were driving out of province to look at Uni's and stuff for me. You would think I cursed them out with how they reacted. Like after the initial reaction they were grateful but just said "No thats not how we do it in our family, you should know that".
Its a hard thing to unlearn. Though idk if its something you really need to unlearn. Just make better choices with your friends. Like I bring that same energy to my friends. And yea I have got burnt in the past from users. But idk I like the person I am, but over time I have learnt to pick up on queues of people using me but I will not stop being there for my friends or family (atleast the ones I consider family lol). Its a fine balance to walk.
Clearly you’re the one who failed to read and comprehend the first paragraph. No, gas isn’t free. Therefore the mooching friend should have been paying up from the get-go.
Edit: and by ‘mooching friend’, I do not mean OP.
No gas is asked beforehand if she's that petty otherwise she shouldn't have asked you to hang out period like "hey wanna hang out" you explain your cars doa" ill pick you up but ill need a bit of gas money" "your response to that" simple.
But why would i give her money when she didnt ask anyone else in the car but me..?? 🙅🏽♀️ if i was so “out of the way” she should have never invited me
Not saying it was right. If you wanted to stay friends with her tho (or just fk around with her)… Cuz u turn it back on her. You say: You charged me for gas, so i assume thats what we’re doing now.
NTA at all. She's not your friend. Good riddance.
NTA. She is a black hole of a human being - she sucks all the good out of everything around her and does nothing of value in return.
NTA. One-sided friendships aren’t friendships, they’re burdens.
This reminds me of my favorite line froma TV show, Severance. "I was your best friend, you were my good friend". It really resonated. NTA
Dang!!! I really like that!! Poor man's medal 🏅
The entire situation was orchestrated to make you pay for fuel. NTA. ‘Hanging out’ was just an excuse to get you in the car and put you in a vulnerable position she could take advantage of. You had already cut her loose, she had nothing to lose and wanted one last payout.
NTA, her request for gas was reasonable when you’re asking her for favors, but literally inviting you out with the boys and then asking? No. That’s not how it works.
Yeah, she obviously tried to corner her into paying
NTA. She might have looked back at your last interaction before this, when she drove you home after you refused to pay, and had some fantasies about leaving you. Then she wanted to put her fantasy into practice. Maybe the 3 other friends are in on it.
You have learned a valuable lesson. Just because you value someone and think of them as a sibling, that doesn't mean they value you for anything more than whatever you can provide for them. You did the right thing. In the future, never assume just because you do a favor or treat someone well that they will do the same if the tables happen to turn. Don't expect anything from anyone, but let them delightfully surprise you.
NTA She’s not your friend. It’s one thing when “can you chip in for petrol?” Is asked BEFORE you go out, then you have the option to not go. It’s something else when it brought up after and you’re the only one that is “asked”. That’s just shitty.
No friend leaves you stranded at 2am. Anywhere.
No colleague, neighbor or casual acquaintance leaves you stranded at 2am anywhere.
No decent human being leaves you stranded at 2am.
She left you stranded at a gas station, away from home, at 2 a.m , and you call that a friend?! She set you up btw. And the people with you who didn’t protested, ain’t better. Bunch of vile nasty unsafe trash.
NTA
NTA asking to have someone contribute to paying for gas is not a bad thing. I also think if she was giving you rides consistently for a whole month, then she was not an AH to ask you to start helping with gas. Just because you could do it and were willing to do it for her does not mean she was in the same position. however, asking someone when you've given them a ride somewhere or are standing in front of the gas pump is wrong. This is a discussion that should be had in advance so the person being asked for money can decide if they want the ride or not. Demanding they pay on the spot and leaving them stranded is completely unacceptable. Your friend is an asshole and you're better off not being friends.
NTA for cutting her off, you'd be an idiot if you didn't.
NTA. A real friend wouldn’t do that. Ergo, she is not, and probably never has been, your friend.
This person isn't your friend, she never was. She just needed an Uber. Drop her like a bad habit. NTA
NTA. She does NOT DESERVE YOU 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I feel for you..I did everything for my friends growing up and only when I fell on hard times, I realized they didn't have my back. I'd rather have no friends than terrible friends. Now my circle is small, but my friends now show me I deserve to be loved as I love them. This person who left you stranded is vile and despicable. She did you a favour opening your eyes now so you don't need to invest in her any longer. Proud of you for blocking these people. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish you healing. You're going to find people who value you as much as you value them.
Aawwee thank youuu!! :3
NTA Good grief. Something terrible could have happened to you. If she wanted you to pay money, she should have said so upfront that last time. This is a good lesson though. You are the kind of person who just gives rides and never cares about the money. She's not. That's not a reflection on either of you as a person, but it's a place of not being compatible as friends. However, when she left you alone at 2am, she became a person you shld never talk to ever again.
She didnt even call to check to see if i was ok.. im devastated by this was gods lesson 🙏🏽☝🏽
I'm sorry. But now you know and can avoid this pernicious b.
Absolute scum. Her behavior was deplorable. Good job blocking them.
You did exactly what you should have done!
NTA, she has been using you and taking advantage. You'll be better off without her.
NTA There are givers and takers and sharers in life. She's obviously a taker. She is not worthy of being your friend. Learn what you can from the relationship and move forward. When I was around 20 years old I looked around at the people I spent time with and I didn't like what I saw. I made a clean break with everyone. It took me over a year to begin to establish relationships with the kind of people I wanted to be around. One of the better decisions I ever made. Kudos to you for blocking them. Get clear within yourself of how you choose to be treated and then become that type of person.
Nta.block her.
NTA. This woman is a user. She happily accepted rides from you, not just when it was on your way but expecting you to drive her wherever she wanted to go. Then when you need rides, she demands gas money from you. Not only that, when you refuse, she abandons you in a dangerous situation. You have every reason to consider this friendship over and block her.
NTA She is NOT a friend, she is a user. Be grateful you learned this about her now rather than later.
Whoa, def NTA and your ‘friend’ is a total POS.
NTA, that is some fucked up shit. She was never your friend, or some AH whispered in her ear.
Not about the OP ; in our friend circle, when we do activities like anything, everybody contributes something. If not now definitely the next time( like who will pay for the bill at the restaurant or at the takeaway)
NTA. Also you handled it better than I would have. I would’ve found each of them and beat them ten different shades of black and blue
nta.
She's a selfish (word). NTA
NTA it all sounds like she planned to leave you stranded way before she picked you up.
She was never a friend. She's an entitled piece of shit. One rule for her, another for everyone else. Fuck that nasty ass bitch.
I’m always bemused when people don’t dare tell others of the double standard. Instead of telling us this. You should go and tell this to her face
NTA. She’s not your friend. Move on.
NTA She chose to not be your friend anymore. Sure, might be that she is much shorter on money than you. So that we don't know
NTA. That person was never a friend. Only a user.
NTA Why did she not ask the others to pay? Also why did you not say anything about the fact she never paid you for gas? Just tell her youll make a list about what she owes you.
Just me, but if I'm going to impose on someone else, I'm going to offer fair compensation in return. Most friends will decline the compensation and that's fine too, but at least we know where we stand going in.
NTA. Good decision.
NTA
NTA She is a user. I have been in situations like that before. It really sucks to know what people you consider friends think of you. Like I am the type of person who if I consider someone a friend I would give the shirt off my back not because I expect the same thing in return but because you know you like doing things for your friends (or feel bad when you say no, which for me it was a little of both). I have been in these situations before. The first time something like this happens you are going to think, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe they are having money difficulties and are embarrassed. Maybe this maybe that anything to make it seem like those years of friendship were real and you werent just being used for a ride and as a ESA. But then it happens the second or third time (I am a doormat at times) you realize that some people either just dont know what friendship is or they are so self centered that they only care about themselves. It gets easier. The best thing to do is just let that relationship die. Go over all the times you helped them and how many times they have actually showed up to help you (that is one thing which really helped me). Think what else you could have been doing with your time. And the wear and tear on your car. I dont suggest closing off your heart entirely but make sure your friends are who you think they are before rearranging your life to help them. Make sure they are people who have your back and wont leave you in dangerous positions to be petty. It is hard and will take time to find that balance between guarded and open. But you will get there.
Nta. Shes toxic as fuck. If I ask you to hang out knowing I have to pick you up, that's on me. Ive expect gas money on out of the way help at times and on trips. But this, nope.
Why didn't you just stand up for your self and ask her why she thinks you owe her gas money when you've been the one to drive her around until your car broke down? Honestly this is just your fault. I don't even feel bad.
She is a horrible person. NTA. You're so much better off without her.
In your 20s, friends are people you call when times are good. In your 30s, friends are people you call when times are bad. Congratulation, you've matured.
NTA and she sounds like the kind of bitch that'll get pregnant at 21 and have three kids by the time she's 25 and by 30? Shit she'll have enough kids to fill two basketball teams.
Man the blocking thing is getting old. It seems so childish. Ending a friendship is fine an all, but saying "I blocked them on x,y,z." makes it all sound so petty. You're NTA for refusing. Personally I would have explained that she never paid for gas when you were giving her rides and it seems unfair that she should expect you to.
Deff understand what you mean about blocking but i just didnt want any contact cause knowing her for many years she would contact and pretend it was a silly little joke
oh no! that was a setup. make no mistake - she planned to force you to pay and if she couldn’t, ditch you in the middle of the night. and she made sure there was an audience. that’s some snake business there.
She left you at 2 am at a random gas station. That is unsafe on so many levels. There is no way in hell that is a silly joke or prank. Hell if she ever says that you I would say right back "Well jokes or not, you left me in a dangerous situation. You may have been making a joke but it put me in danger. I will not be put in danger again so yeah we are done. And for the record jokes dont involve leaving your friend stranded in the middle of the night that is literally just bullying."
INFO: Is she/her family poorer than you? Would you say she drove way more distance than you did? Maybe she's ashamed to say she doesn't have enough money and is shit at communicating, or feels it's unfair she's driving too much. From the post, NTA, but it reads one sided.
We both grew up in single parent households we both equally had and didnt have.. and she took me to work and home i dont really like going out i was a personal uber to her i took her wherever whenever she wanted cause again she was like family but even family betray you sometimes
ESH. She took your free assistance and then nickel and dimed you in the same situation, and the way she handled the confrontation and abandoned you sucked. Abandoning you at 2am was wildly irresponsible and unsafe. She’s the bigger asshole here. You on the other hand were offered an inch and took a foot. She was willing to help, not be your sole personal chauffeur. She made a reasonable request for gas money and you refused, which was immature. And then instead of actually communicating you did the Gen Z therapy talk thing at her while she dropped rigid ultimatums on you. Both of you need to grow up, stop freeloading off friends, and learn to use your words.
Honey even siblings pay for gas. It was messed up she left you stranded. That’s for sure. But everything is expensive
She never offered gas money when she needed the rides. After the expectation was made clear, OP stopped asking for rides. Then the AH offers a ride without mentioning gas, and only OP (not the 3 other passengers) is on the hook for gas?! No
My siblings dont pay for gas? Older and younger thats family💀 asking family to pay up wild to me personally cause i grew up in a Hispanic household where you do things for your family without putting a price tag on it
Yeah idk if its an ethnic thing or not. But it would be wild as hell for me to ask any family member for gas money. I dont think I know anyone who makes their family pay for gas money. But either way if it was expected then she should have been paying you for all the rides.
Honestly, I feel like everyone in the comments you’re the one that really understand especially with this comment I have never ever ever made any of my family members paid for my gas if they needed to be somewhere that is your family at the end of the day so making them pay for gas is extremely wild. My mom literally took me up and down my own state. She’s taking me everywhere my entire life and I’ve offered her gas money and she said no we’re family and that we should never ever make our family pay.
Lol hey atleast thats better than when I asked my parents if I should contribute to gas money we were driving out of province to look at Uni's and stuff for me. You would think I cursed them out with how they reacted. Like after the initial reaction they were grateful but just said "No thats not how we do it in our family, you should know that". Its a hard thing to unlearn. Though idk if its something you really need to unlearn. Just make better choices with your friends. Like I bring that same energy to my friends. And yea I have got burnt in the past from users. But idk I like the person I am, but over time I have learnt to pick up on queues of people using me but I will not stop being there for my friends or family (atleast the ones I consider family lol). Its a fine balance to walk.
Then the friend should have been paying up when OP was driving her places.
I'm not reading all of that. Title and first paragraph are enough to know YTA. Gas isn't free. Pay up or walk.
If you had read it all, you’d know OP drove ‘friend’ around since forever without asking for gas money.
Irrelevant? Just because OP is a stupid doormat doesn't mean the friend is obligated to be as well
Pretty sure leaving someone stranded at 2am when they cld be assaulted and killed is far far worse than not paying for some gas.
What about when she drove her friend around and never asked for gas money? She’s NTA!
Clearly you’re the one who failed to read and comprehend the first paragraph. No, gas isn’t free. Therefore the mooching friend should have been paying up from the get-go. Edit: and by ‘mooching friend’, I do not mean OP.
Should have read it.
you think so?
No gas is asked beforehand if she's that petty otherwise she shouldn't have asked you to hang out period like "hey wanna hang out" you explain your cars doa" ill pick you up but ill need a bit of gas money" "your response to that" simple.
Welp. U coulda gave her the dough. When it turns around and she mooching rides offa u, then hit her up for petro dough
But why would i give her money when she didnt ask anyone else in the car but me..?? 🙅🏽♀️ if i was so “out of the way” she should have never invited me
Not saying it was right. If you wanted to stay friends with her tho (or just fk around with her)… Cuz u turn it back on her. You say: You charged me for gas, so i assume thats what we’re doing now.
ETH