I was once morbidly obese as well (5'6 F 356lbs), I know how hard it is and I want you to know I empathize. Was your weight gain from emotional reasons or medical? Mine was a combination. Also as a woman with my own self image issues, beauty is very complex and the more we learn self love (I know it's cringy, it's still hard for me) the more your natural beauty is revealed. Attractiveness can be subjective 🥰

Thank you! I’m 5’6 308lbs. And yes it’s emotional. It goes up and down. In 2018 I lost about 70lbs and was doing well with therapy. Then the pandemic happened and I fell deeper into depression. Gained it all back plus some. I’m trying to get it together again.

I believe in you and feel free to message me if you want to pick my brain. Therapy really is the best help, I'm glad you're thinking of going again. I go to mine 1x a week. I've been there and it's not where you have to stay 💜 xoxo

Wild Oleander, that was a beautiful and powerful message! It will touch anyone that reads it. Thank you!

Awe thank you, and the offer to msg is open to anyone who needs a friend to listen or some practical advice from someone who has done it all, too.

Thank you so much! I will take you up on that

Ignore everything else in the thread and focus on this.

I can assure you there are guys who would be attracted to you just the way you are. I have a son who prefers chubby girls. Don't be shy!

You got this, you *can* do it!

Exactly. Attractiveness IS subjective. It's the media and society that want us to believe attractiveness is objective. I'm recently beginning to accept the only person's opinion of me and my appearance that matters is my husband's. And for people who aren't married, it's their own opinion that matters. So many people in this world that can't see beyond appearances to the truth of who people are. Sadly, I used to be one, but I'm really working on completely changing that stupid tendency.

Have you sought therapy for PTSD? Does injury or self esteem prevent you from losing weight?

I’m in therapy. Anxiety keeps me from leaving the house very much. But no, I just need to move more

do one situp when waking up. then if you can do one without it feeling like a task you do two and then three... this will get the ball moving for you to start moving more

Have you ever thought about just paying someone to just get it out your system?

No. I just masturbate a lot. Lol, it’s safer

Me too! Oh and I pay someone. 😂

Lol

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Yea I mean my safer health wise. Not assuming they all have stds, just being careful

I think you’re past the health safety concerns. Anyways, what is stopping you to change your life?

Based femgooner

I’m old, what does this mean? Lol

If you Google 'gooning' all your questions will be answered

If you could take the time to tell me to google it, you could just tell me what it means, since you commented on the post. But thanks for that☺️

I guess it's when people consider themselves addicted to pornography and get off on prolonged extreme masturbation sessions

I don’t consider myself addicted to porn. And my sessions are not extreme at all lol. It may take 2-4 minutes tops for me to orgasm. And I’ll do it maybe 3 times before the after shame kicks in and I’m good for a couple of days . And not always to porn. Audiobooks

It's more of a meme term really, as long as you're having fun!

You got pics?

Bruh

Let him cook

Lol pics of myself yes.

Come on share some..lol

Lol I don’t really like them so I’d rather not

What led you to weight gain or have you always been that way

I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. I remember knocking on neighbor’s doors asking for food. My mom was an addict and she’d be gone for days or in a crack coma knocked out and we went hungry. So as I got older and had control over the food, I’d overeat. But it’s really been up and down for years

Were you in relationships before?

Yes. One really toxic and abusive relationship. That ended 13 years ago. I don’t miss that at all lol

What is your ptsd from?

Childhood sexual abuse. Mother was an addict and one of her “boyfriends “ paid her to let him repeatedly rape my sisters and I. Also neglect. She’d go days without feeding us. It was bad

Hey. I’m really sorry to read this. Some abuse/neglect in my background, and being weighed down by it in ways I did not expect through life has been so very hard. And some of what you say rings true to me too - lockdown rose up and knocked me sideways somehow, and I was in real danger. But through the path, being swamped by hopelessness, and depression, and compulsions are part of the deal. But getting therapy has helped me immeasurably. My therapist told me that of the two (abuse and neglect), the worst of the abuse is the incomprehensible. Was I so worthless? What was it about me that meant they did that? Why was I not worth protecting? But that the neglect is almost worse - because it is an invisible abuse. It is not a hit, or an action, but a long hole of grieving and waiting and absence, and of wondering what you did and whether you are a non-person, unlovable, worthless; and that even that need is mute. Is not recognised somehow because it is a not-ness. An anti-story. One that is left with you to swallow, in inexpressible grief. And of course this affects our brains as adults. Because all this means I don’t really have the dopamine production in my brain that others do, my dopamine needs are satisfied by short-term pleasure. One deals with this in terms of compulsions, impulses, addictions. And my own legacy of worthlessness. And of course food can be that dopamine hit. And well, yes. So I know exactly where you are coming from. But just to say, one of the things that helps is knowing that. That the food (for instance) is just me craving dopamine. And I can get it like that, or some other way. And to know that the people who did this to you were not doing it to you. They were out of control cars, careering all over the road and hitting who they hit. And they were out of control for their own reasons. And that their treatment of you is no longer your responsibility. It is not your burden to carry any more. I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. It is so hard. But there is hope, for sure. If you want to chat, just say.

Thank you for sharing that. It’s extremely hard to deal with. But I’m hopeful 🥹

Strength and solidarity with you. 🤜🤛🏽 Might not feel like it, but you’ve got this.

Thank you

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Can’t you make a police report on him?

I was 5 and this was the 90’s. CPS eventually removed us and we reported it. He raped 4 of us, all children. But was only charged for 2 of us. They sentenced him to probation. He was white, we were little black girls with a drug addicted mom so I guess they didn’t care much.

I'm sorry to hear this.

I hate to trauma dump. I can be a Debbie downer sometimes lol

It's a messed up situation that it difficult to get over. I hate some people especially addicts who put their kids in these bad situations.

Don’t be sorry!! ❤️ You were asked.

im so sorry to hear that, hope those monsters get what they deserve and therapy helps u at least a bit

Thank you. He’s dead😊

Amen

Have you considered a gastric bypass? I had one and lost 120+ pounds in 10 months. You’re welcome to ask me anything about it…

That’s awesome! My doctor says I’d qualify for one, but I know I can lose it naturally and I wanna give that a try first. Congratulations to you! Wow

Have you thought about trying Ozempic?

I work in a pharmacy and that stuff has been back ordered forever. But no, the possible side effects are not worth it. I can lose it naturally. Just takes longer

What are the side effects? Good luck with your journey. Keep trying. You got this.

Intestinal paralysis and bowel obstruction. Lawsuits are already starting. And thank you!!

I'm on compounded semaglutide, and I'm not even obese... I think the risks of not taking it are greater then any side affects you may experience.

Do you have any comorbidities from the obesity?

No not yet. I’m trying to get healthy to avoid that

Hope you meet your goals and live in good health!

Thank you!!

I’m sorry hun.. sounds like you were dealt an impossibly difficult set of cards in your upbringing. Even an easy life is full of struggle. Have you thought to join a support group? Do you have a friendship community? What do you enjoy doing?

I just talk to my therapist. Don’t have many friends. Trust issues. I like reading. It’s an escape lol

There are some pretty great support groups for people with similar things (food related, sexual abuse). Or even a book club! How do you feel about religion? I ask these things because community can be deeply healing. And you are not alone.

Firstly, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with depression and PSTP. I have a couple of questions, if you don't mind. (1) What region of the US do you live in? (2) What do you feel are your major triggers wrt depression (3a) I saw in a comment that at one point, you were in a much better place and lost weight, etc. prior to the pandemic. What would you say allowed you to be so successful? (3b) Is there anything serving as a barrier to the factors that allowed you such success pre-pandemic? (3c) If so, what do you think those barriers are? Sorry for all the questions, I just was scrolling through realized that you've had success prior to the HUGE setback that is the pandemic, so it makes me very hopeful that you'll have success again. Just curious to know if you had taken a moment to really dissect what allowed your prior success, and if it could be replicated again.

I live in North Carolina. I don’t have nightmares/flashbacks and they trigger the depression. Some days I just really wanna disappear. I think I was successful before the pandemic because I started a new job in a pharmacy and I was literally walking nonstop and the job kept me preoccupied and super busy. I didn’t lose it on purpose. That year I was just going through the motions. Working and sleeping. Barely eating and it just happened. I work from home now and I’m sitting all day.

Thanks for the response! Do you feel like weight contributes to your depression, or is it mainly driven by the underlying PTSD? Or is it completely unrelated to both?

I’ve been depressed longer than I’ve been obese. So it’s more likely the other way around.

What’s your favorite comfort food? Also something that helped me lose weight was eating low calorie high volume foods like popcorn, greek yogurt and oatmeal because I have to feel full. Best of luck to you on your wellness journey!

Ritz Bitz Cheese Crackers😂I love those little fuckers. Thanks for the info. I like Greek yogurt in my smoothies. Added protein

Tried OF?

This is a legit question, OF has quite the variety of people

I was not aware, thought it was for models and celebrities

Nope, it's for everyone, race, size, genders, it's pretty crazy

Thanks I will look into it!

Sorry what can 1 do on OF ? Find partners?

I have not. People are into overweight ugly chics on only fans?

Just because u a fluffy don't mean u are ugly u are beautiful and sexy woman in your own way don't put your self down like that women are not meant to be beanpoles that Hollywood Leeds u to believe love your self and be comfortable in your own skin and people will love you for you

Thank you🥰

Hey if I ever feel like talking about anything my DM is always open

I appreciate that! Thank you

Shawty, you fine. Once you get into the gym... you gonna be fine-fine. Hope that bit brightens up your day.

Why did I sing that like a song? Lol thank you, it did😊

There are a lot of NSFW subreddits dedicated to different body types (probably also for overweight / obese people). If you ever need a confidence boost, you could check that out too (and post a regular selfie or anything)

Thank you for that.

Tbh probably better shot for success on OF if you're "niche" can cater to a more dedicated audience that's more willing to pay

Some guys are into kinks that fit what you have going on, why not explore you could probably even make good money

Yea I’ve learned a little something about that today. Gotten a few interesting DMs 😅 but I just wanna get back to feeling more like myself. Being overweight is extremely uncomfortable to me.

Sending you love. I gained a lot of weight during the pandemic on top of taking care of my Dad with dementia and losing it slowly now as 35 year old male. It's tough with depression and PTSD for sure (plus I'm on the spectrum). If you ever need to talk someone I am open for chat. Got my confidence back in the last eight moths to get out and going out partying and dancing again. Don't give a damn what people think and house music people are really open nice non judgement people eff the haters!!!

Thank you for that and congratulations!

You are very welcome and thank you !

What does your typical day look like with regards to what you eat? Are you still mobile, do you think you’ll start exercising more?

Oddly I don’t eat a ton. Now I may eat one or sometimes twice a day. I just need to be more active. It took 5 years to get back here. And yes, I’ve started walking and stretching. Have to ease my way into more strenuous training.

I mean this in a support manner please. You are incorrect. Your weight is not bc you need to be more active. That is a very common, misconception. While of course it will help, it is your eating habits that make you or anyone overweight, specially regarding the what and how much. Sounds like you are an emotional eater. I hope you continue therapy and break the connection between emotion and food. I would still recommend exercise for its many other benefits. But remember it is food, specifically calories that are directly linked to weight I find a great tool to use is a food journal. Best of luck!

Thank you!!!

Just gonna back up the opinion above. Get a cheap food scale off amazon if you don’t have one and use MyFitnessPal to track calories, even if it’s for a day just to really get an idea of what’s going into your body. Use this calculator to figure out how many calories your body burns then eat below that: https://www.calculator.net/bmr-calculator.html?ctype=standard&cage=36&csex=f&cheightfeet=5&cheightinch=6&cpound=360&cheightmeter=180&ckg=60&cmop=0&coutunit=c&cformula=m&cfatpct=20&x=Calculate You don’t even need to exercise for the first year or two.

I stead of one or two meals eat 5 or 6 small snack meals it keeps your metabolism on and it all so will get rid of your body storing because u. Might not be eating enough or wrong type of foods

I’ll try that. Not the first time I’ve heard it.

It's also the way that they treat pre diabetics and treat diabetics to control their sugars

I hope you’re having a good day today and taking care of yourself ❤️

Today has been cool. 😊thank you

You need some motivation. Maybe a gym partner and just start off by walking on the treadmill. You can do it at home but in the gym you get that workout vibe once the insecurity vibes go away. Where do you live? Not exact but state ?

I live in North Carolina

Beautiful weather , lots of trails. We are here if you need ☺️☺️

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The title of your post made me want to hug you. This is how you describe yourself? There is so much more to you… I wish you are abundantly blessed with love.. so much that it fills you and you come out of this darkness… the darkness which is making you feel such things about you sending you my love from india

Thank you! I like hugs 🤗

So are you looking for someone to date?

Not necessarily. I need to get my health back on track first.

3 years? There’s average looking dudes here on Reddit that are still virgins and women won’t touch them with a 10 foot pole. Take time, get healthy for you, put time into yourself, and if you’re a little patient things will work out. What’s your go to comfort show?

Game of Thrones lol

Do you have a favorite episode?

Not a fav episode but season 6 was my fav. I enjoyed the Battle of the Bastards

That battle is definitely a winner.

this comment i'm about to make is meaningless. i'm a 6'1" really attractive black male, model looks and body. i've gone over a year with no sex, could see myself going 3. that's all.

Thanks for that

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I probably would not have sex with anyone until I’m fully comfortable naked. And I would not have sex with a complete stranger. Have to have some kind of connection. Race doesn’t matter. Im attracted to all guys. If he’s like too big to move then no. I don’t see how that would work. I do fantasize about sex. I’m into bdsm. So there’s a lot of kinky stuff I’d like to try. I take Desvenlafaxine for depression and Alprazolam as needed for panic attacks. I’m a pharmacy technician

What is your favorite food? Are you trying to avoid eating it a ton?

Fav is Salmon lol. I love that stuff. And yea I don’t usually eat a lot. Just not careful about what I eat.

Good luck, I hope you become happy.

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I think I have a pretty good sense of humor lol

Is the depression preventing you from losing weight?

It sure doesn’t help.

Have you tried to exercise and eat less?

Yes. Doing that now actually. Takes a little time though.

Fair enough. At least you aren’t one of those women like Lizzo who just want praise for being unhealthily heavy

Lol no, this is not my normal size. I just wanna look like me again

Well good luck!

Have you considered surgery for your obesity? Like a gastric band?

I want to try the natural way. I think I can do it

Of course, wish you luck!

I saw in one of your answers that you like to read...what are you reading right now? I started reading Lilith and I'm not sure how I feel about it so far!

I usually read smut. Lol but I just started Atomic Habits. Love it so far. Balance is key

Lmao love it! I have that on my list to read :)

Start eating healthy and exercising and your depression will improve and you will get more attractive as well. Best of luck in your journey.

Thank you

Have you thought about losing weight ?

Yes. Actively working on that now actually.

Where do you wanna meet up?

lol I’m in North Carolina👀

Im in NC too

Seriously? Lol dm me

Is it tight? Been long time.

Lol born again virgin

you didn't need to add unattractive.

How did you become immune to the influence of Lizzo and her supporters in the mainstream media who attested that morbid obesity is actually attractive?

I’m not easily influenced. If they want to be that way, that’s their business. I’m not one to judge. I just want to look like me

I believe that if you have big boobs, you will find a guy to date you. Also, there are guys out there into BBW’s. Meanwhile, nobody likes fat, overweight men. Women just like them for their money or personality.

Some do but I’ve learned that there is a whole community of people who prefer overweight partners. Men and women. Look into feederism. Had no idea it existed until yesterday lol

What’s preventing you from losing weight? Would this help with your depression?

I’ve been depressed since I was a kid. Morbid obesity is fresh. Nothing is preventing me. I’m actively working at it. Doesn’t happen overnight

Where the ptsd come from ?

Childhood sexual abuse. Mother was an addict and one of her “boyfriends “ paid her to let him repeatedly rape my sisters and I. Also neglect. She’d go days without feeding us. It was bad

I’m sorry to hear what happended to you and your family keep of the good work keep fighting you’ll get there

Thank you ❤️

Have you tried to find a boyfriend or partner? You have friends?

I haven’t tried. I stay home. And I got a bunch of issues I need to work through before I involve anyone else in this crazy head lol

could you state some issues you need to work through?

Trust, self esteem, weight

If you could back ten years and be 28 again, what would do differently to maybe end up in a better position at 38?

Stayed active and focused on my health. I was slim back then lol.

Carnival cruise?

Lol what?

Have you been on one, might be a good fit. And I'm a weirdly boyish guy suffering from betrayal trauma just and loss, just when I thought my life was stable. It was a genuine recommendation based on your post.

Oh I was legitimately confused. lol but no I have never been on a cruise. Would probably be tons of fun. Sorry that you’re suffering. Stay strong ❤️

Thank you, very kind of you. I was assuming you're American, and thought maybe it's a good fit for you. People are generally friendly and more than that is probably available. Get back out there in any sense, I can say that after 3 months of one room. I wish you well ❤️‍🩹

Damn!

Lol I know right

You got this. I’m rooting for you. You will reach your goals one day, just keep at it and don’t give up even on the bad days. You can and will overcome this

I doubt you are ugly I had a lot of abuse as my DMs are open if you wanna talk

Thank you

Hi. What one thing, or package of things, do you think would a) have precented you from getting obese, and b) could help you recover from obesity? I am clinically obese, myself. A lot of people online just make stupid comments like "just eat less and exercise more," as if just saying it will make it happen. Or insult you with the fake excuse that "body positivity has caused the obesity epidemic", ergo "if I'm mean to fat people, I will single handedly cure them, I'm just doing them a favour," when really we all know they're just self righteous AHs. I wish you well and hope you find your way to a healthier future. Dont give up trying xx

Accepting dms?

Sure why not

You're still beautiful!

That’s sweet! Thank you

How big r boobs

Lol bigger than I’d like

Bra size

I was gonna say it’s too personal but I’ve shared some pretty personal shit here today so fuk it. 46 D

Dm me plz x

what's your PTSD? McDonalds being closed is not the same as an IED attack.

Did that make you feel good about yourself sweetie? Awww. I’m happy I could help 😊

I’ve read a lot of your responses and understand where you’re at. To be honest it doesn’t matter if you’re bigger, someone will bang you if you put yourself out there. Men are pretty one track minded, go get it!

Whats the old joke, I have sex everyday!, the problem is trying to find somebody else to join me !! Hope you can find a path forward :) hug

Hi how are you doing? Would love to chat sometime.

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3 years? ..damn guess my 22 years is better lol

Go work in the prison system, someone will gladly offer you some

I’m a bald guy who is 345lbs 5’10 and hookers deny me often

Why don't you try the new glps?