*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for throwing away my child's school project?**
I'm 43M and my daughter is 14F.
My daughter can be kind of argumentative and it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is. She's been working on a diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing.
Last night her and I were talking and it lead to another argument. She made a comment about how I "never listen" which angered me, so I decided to punish her. I sent her to her room but she told her mom (my wife) and was let off. I tried to tell my wife she was punished, but she told me I was overreacting. I was mad she evaded punishment and decided to punish her harder. I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash. She found out and was very upset with me, but I told her that she knew she was punished and got out of it so this will teach her the lesson she needs. She's now sulking because she "worked so hard" and now has to start over and has little time to finish.
My wife and I have been arguing about this and she thinks I overreacted, but I think I'm just doing what a parent should do and disciplining my kid. She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void.
My daughter and wife are upset with me now and now I'm wondering, am I the asshole?
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I would think that if someone knows their partner is treating their kids like this, staying with them until your kid turns 18 makes them a shitty parent too.
That’s too easy to say from the outside looking in. A lot of people do it as a means of protection. Because if they divorce and they have shared custody, then the daughter is alone with the father and the mother is not there to be her safe space.
This. My mother was an abusive fucking monster and my dad stayed with her until I was 18 because he knew she would neglect me and beat me otherwise. Not to mention, use me to squeeze him for money and never let him see me.
Hell, I fully believe that had my father divorced her at that time, she would have ended up killing me.
I hate, hate, hate him so effing much. He is exactly like my father.
Just because you don't agree with me, you are argumentative. If you point out how unreasonable I am being then you are disrespected. So you destroy your child for some fucking respect which you won't deserve and will never get. Or, deserve.
"If you don't respect me *(as an all-encompassing authority figure)*, I won't respect you *(as a human being worthy of literally even the smallest most basic amount of decency)*."
OMG I feel this HARD. I had great parents, don’t get me wrong. But man. If I disagreed with them growing up, ESPECIALLY as a teen, I was immediately dismissed for being “disrespectful”. They were absolutely triggered by the idea a kid could actually be right about something, and they could be wrong.
> triggered by the idea a kid could actually be right about something
I'm in my 50s now, but still remember an incident when I was around 14. Just FYI for context: I was a smart kid. Honors classes, etc. The kind where they want you to think. My a-hole former stepfather wasn't.
There was a report on the news about a girl who rode her bike in front of a car, the car hit her, she got injured. Guy driving the car turned out to be a doctor. He gets out to render aid. The girl's parents decide to sue the doctor, claiming his aid made her injuries worse.
All I said was something like "that's not fair or right". I was told to shut up, I was only a kid and couldn't have an opinion on the subject.
Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority"
For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person"
Exactly! Then he destroys her school project???? I hope she takes a picture of it and shows the history teacher and says mom can back up her story.
Go for the public shame! Zero chance he will cop to it with the school
Dollars to doughnuts, this chucklefuck punishes her *again* when her history grade tanks.
I sincerely hope his work computer always crashes at the worst possible time(s), every day, forever. Fuck hin.
He didn't really seem to know or care much about what this project was about or how it would be graded, so hopefully he doesn't care enough about her schoolwork to know what she got (as a former teacher, that hurts to say, but there are some parents that are probably better being hands-off with their child's education, and OOP sounds like one of them).
"diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing"
This guy is trying to justify his supposedly good parenting and has no idea what their kid is up to in school. Like not only did he destroy something for school he didn't know or care what it was for because he isn't that much of a parent to begin with. It's always the lazy disconnected parents who behave this way.
I'm not even going to give him that. He knew it was for her school grades . He didn't ground her or take away something non essential but special. He deliberately and maliciously wrecked something affecting her future.
I don't think this was a one time event. Chances are that he's been a POS to his daughter (and probably to his wife as well) for a long time and she's taking the damage control route, i.e. trying to "balance" out his impulsive punishments towards their daughter.
The wife might have tried to talk to him several times but I think it's safe to assume that he doesn't listen but instead huffs and puffs until the wife gives in to "keep the peace".
If I was her I would take the project to school as is and show the teacher what he did and explain why he did it. Let him explain his actions to the school.
If I was the mom I’d ask for a parent/teacher conference to do just this. And take lots of pictures of the ruined project. And be sure to talk to my soon-to-be-ex about it over text.
What a vindictive PoS!
A punishment is supposed to teach your child a lesson, not an act of revenge, the only lesson OOPs daughter learned is that she and her belongings are unsafe at home because her father might decide to destroy them and ruin her life when he feels like she has wronged him in some way.
My ex husband “parented” this way. At the time I had him removed from the home, our kids were 11 and 6.
Key word: ex. OOP’s wife needs to really focus on that key word and make it her reality.
Congratulations on getting out of that toxic situation. You obviously know this, but you and your kids don’t deserve to have to deal with that toxic shit.
Not everyone is able to leave bad situations. She may not be able to support herself + kid(s), etc. I left my ex, but I was lucky and had somewhere safe to go. This mom might not.
Oh, believe me I know that firsthand. My ex was abusive in all ways, and unfortunately the financial abuse was what kept me stuck. My babies and I suffered for over 5 years while I tried to get the money together to escape.
Telling someone they need to leave is not something I do lightly, nor do I believe that everyone can make that decision on Monday and be out and safe by Tuesday.
He didn't discipline his daughter, he punished her. If it was truly discipline, the consequence would have taught a lesson about respect.
Instead, it just taught the daughter her dad is gonna overreact to every little slight.
Fingers crossed the kid tells her teacher what happened and they call child services. Maybe it’ll be a wake up call for the wife to take her kid far away from the vindictive POS.
It sucks that this was my first thought, because in reality, this shouldn’t be mom’s responsibility. If dad thinks he was justified and this wasn’t an overreaction, he should be completely comfortable calling the school and telling them that he destroyed her project as a perfectly normal and appropriate punishment for her back-talking and lack of respect. He can even direct them not to give her an extension to make sure his lesson isn’t undermined. If his behavior was righteous, surely he’d have no hesitancy in telling her teachers what he did, right? Right?!?!
>it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is.
She's 14. Welcome to parenting a teenager.
>I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash
"I decided to punish my teenage daughter by ruining her project which will likely affect her grade. That'll show her!" - OOP
I believe this happened and he is a devil but I don't believe he wrote the post. Not going to be that self aware. My money is on the teen. Sorry they are stuck with an ah for a dad
As someone brought up plenty of these posts are the teens mentioned in the posts trying to reset their normal meter often with their therapist's advice
My mother was like this. Totally unpredictable and prone to fits of intense rage. She would arbitrarily cancel events or destroy my things or withdraw me from extracurricular activities. I learned not to tell her anything about what I cared about and who I was friends with. I have very low contact now, and that’s just because she will poison the extended family against me if I cut contact. She’s very charming and manipulative and people think she’s a saint so I don’t fancy my chances of being believed
Wow. what a flaming ass hat. "I was disrespected so I acted like a total asshole to...prove...that I'm not an asshole??"
I can hope this isn't real, but I think my hopes are...unfounded.
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I'm 43M and my daughter is 14F.
My daughter can be kind of argumentative and it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is. She's been working on a diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing.
Last night her and I were talking and it lead to another argument. She made a comment about how I "never listen" which angered me, so I decided to punish her. I sent her to her room but she told her mom (my wife) and was let off. I tried to tell my wife she was punished, but she told me I was overreacting. I was mad she evaded punishment and decided to punish her harder. I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash. She found out and was very upset with me, but I told her that she knew she was punished and got out of it so this will teach her the lesson she needs. She's now sulking because she "worked so hard" and now has to start over and has little time to finish.
My wife and I have been arguing about this and she thinks I overreacted, but I think I'm just doing what a parent should do and disciplining my kid. She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void.
My daughter and wife are upset with me now and now I'm wondering, am I the asshole?
Edited to remove the *I am a bot message...* at the end of post copy
Anyone else noticed that he never actually says what they were arguing about? Just that they were arguing and she "disrespects" him by saying he never listens. Yeap, def a huge AH.
Hope the wife and daughter get out.
So because she “disrespected him” by clearly calling out behaviour that even his wife thinks he has, he punished her by fucking with her academics ??
He couldn’t ground her or take her phone or anything else ? Like he had to go straight for her academics ???
It's unlikely that this "man" will ever take responsibility for anything. Sadly, situations like this are not limited by gender. My Dad's 2nd wife did crap like this as well. Even though the issuenever arose, I wouldn't have been surprised if my bioMom had acted this way as well. I truly lost the lottery jackpot with all of my parental figures besides my Granny, who passed away when I was 13 years old.
Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about anything the step-monster might do because that b*tch has been permanently out of my life for nearly 20 years. I cut ties after my Dad passed away & then she died 18 months after him.
I remember working really hard on a math project during high school and I was proud of myself. If my dad ruined it because of an argument, I'd be hella bitter and resentful.
Anyway, did the dad not realize he could have potentially failed his daughter if she didn't remake the project in time? If she didn't, then it'll be a gamble if her teacher believes the father broke it or not.
Same. He didn’t directly destroy a project because I was in trouble. But one time he was picking me up from school in the car because I had a project that was too big to take on the bus. My mom and I spent days on the project and I was so proud. He knew this was why he was picking me up. He chose to pick me up in his sports car that had no back seat and a small trunk. The project couldn’t fit in my lap. He forced it into the trunk, breaking it in the process and couldn’t figure out why I cried all night.
After the divorce he broke into our house and stole items that he had bought for us. This includes my hello kitty tv that was a birthday present, my stereo system, my brothers laptop, lots of my mom’s jewelry, and he even removed the tv off the wall mount in the living room. We know it was him because of a) a random burglar doesn’t remove a tv from the wall mount b) the specific items and c) gold bangles given to my by my grandma were not stolen and were removed from their box and laid gently on the dresser.
Besides that, there wasn’t a lot of specific moments. Just the general idea of he wanted my mom to be a trophy wife. He often tried to buy me and my brothers love with toys and such. He was all about image and luxury, buying fancy car and clothes and items that we didn’t need. He one time picked me up from school in a limo (they owned a limo business at the time) because he wanted to show off. He wasn’t very nice and made mean comments a lot. He told me at 12 years old I shouldn’t sing because I was terrible at it (I was singing along to my iPod in my room while cleaning). Him and my mom would fight a lot. She says he never hit her but I don’t believe her.
What the hell type of parents ruins their kid's work because they are so incompetent. If your child disrespects you, there are better ways to deal with it than ruin your kid's hard work. What are you teaching your child, that grown ups will have temper tantrums???
>She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void.
So because she was ''disrespectful'' it doesn't matter that he is fucking with her future? And he doesn't understand that this type of behavior is the reason why she cannot gather the strength to muster up respect for him?!
Poor child, at least her mom tries to help but why is she staying with him?
That’s what happens when you have a kid, is 40 and something but acts like a toddler and has no control over your emotions.
One day he will act like a victim because he is alone and his family don’t care about him…
This sounds more like OOP is 14 and he was getting revenge on his sister not his daughter. I'm just having a hard time picturing a grown man in his 40s destroying his child's school work as punishment. It makes no sense. I can definitely see a teenager doing that to one of their siblings though
OOP, go back to the 50s with your "I am the king of the castle" BS.
You don't destroy a kid's school project out of spite.
This could affect her grade.
You want her to fail?
YTA.
May he step on legos every day of his life, his cable go out everytime his fave show or sports etc. Is on, his pillow warm on all sides, his fave food and drink always out of stock at the store, his clothes never fitting right, and his socks always sopping wet. Also hope his wife divorces him and takes full custody of his kid cause what he did is beyond messed up and abusive.
Literally how does that make sense. I understand giving her extra chores or a lecture maybe (even though I think this daughter was probably making a valid point in saying that he “never listens”), but destroying a project that decides if she will pass her class or not? That isn’t a punishment, that’s extremely manipulative. Dude is quite literally okay with possibly destroying his daughter’s future. This guys a weird asshole .
For the life of me I can never understand how these people can read what they just wrote and think they're not the asshole. Like god knows my parents spanked me more than once, grounded me, yelled at me a few times. But I cannot think of any time they destroyed something that was mine or that I worked on. *Especially* a school project.
He's absolutely the type of guy who's gonna kick her out at eighteen. But we'll see how he likes it when she has kids and refuses to let him see them.
The fact that he leaves out what the argument was about goes to show you that he is fully aware that he is the asshole but wants to be seen as the victim.
Also, he just doesn’t like his daughter.
I am all for boundaries and consequences for behavioral issues, including disrespect and bad attitudes. That's not what happened here. A parent should never jeopardize a child's grade as a punishment. I mean, if my kid gets a bad grade because she didn't do the work, that's a natural consequence. But you don't destroy work as a punishment. This punishment doesn't fit the "crime." Honestly, mom should have stayed out of it in the first place and let the girl be sent to her room. And dad needs to be present with his family. He also needs a better way to handle giving out consequences.
I really hope this girl is able to redo the project to the quality that she had before. But she's never going to forget what her dad did.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for throwing away my child's school project?** I'm 43M and my daughter is 14F. My daughter can be kind of argumentative and it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is. She's been working on a diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing. Last night her and I were talking and it lead to another argument. She made a comment about how I "never listen" which angered me, so I decided to punish her. I sent her to her room but she told her mom (my wife) and was let off. I tried to tell my wife she was punished, but she told me I was overreacting. I was mad she evaded punishment and decided to punish her harder. I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash. She found out and was very upset with me, but I told her that she knew she was punished and got out of it so this will teach her the lesson she needs. She's now sulking because she "worked so hard" and now has to start over and has little time to finish. My wife and I have been arguing about this and she thinks I overreacted, but I think I'm just doing what a parent should do and disciplining my kid. She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void. My daughter and wife are upset with me now and now I'm wondering, am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah the daughter is going NC with him at 18.
Honestly, hope the wife divorces with at least 80% custody, then NC at 18.
$5 the wife is staying until kid is 18 because she knows he sucks
I would think that if someone knows their partner is treating their kids like this, staying with them until your kid turns 18 makes them a shitty parent too.
That’s too easy to say from the outside looking in. A lot of people do it as a means of protection. Because if they divorce and they have shared custody, then the daughter is alone with the father and the mother is not there to be her safe space.
This. My mother was an abusive fucking monster and my dad stayed with her until I was 18 because he knew she would neglect me and beat me otherwise. Not to mention, use me to squeeze him for money and never let him see me. Hell, I fully believe that had my father divorced her at that time, she would have ended up killing me.
She won’t. She’s let him do whatever so far, she’ll stay. My mom did.
I hate, hate, hate him so effing much. He is exactly like my father. Just because you don't agree with me, you are argumentative. If you point out how unreasonable I am being then you are disrespected. So you destroy your child for some fucking respect which you won't deserve and will never get. Or, deserve.
OFCOURSE this fucking asshat is throwing around the word 'disrespectful', as if he even know what that is. So bloody typical it isn't even funny.
It is painful for so many reasons that I really wish he suffers personal pain.
People who demand respect see respect as people worshiping them while they stamp on everyone else.
"If you don't respect me *(as an all-encompassing authority figure)*, I won't respect you *(as a human being worthy of literally even the smallest most basic amount of decency)*."
OMG I feel this HARD. I had great parents, don’t get me wrong. But man. If I disagreed with them growing up, ESPECIALLY as a teen, I was immediately dismissed for being “disrespectful”. They were absolutely triggered by the idea a kid could actually be right about something, and they could be wrong.
> triggered by the idea a kid could actually be right about something I'm in my 50s now, but still remember an incident when I was around 14. Just FYI for context: I was a smart kid. Honors classes, etc. The kind where they want you to think. My a-hole former stepfather wasn't. There was a report on the news about a girl who rode her bike in front of a car, the car hit her, she got injured. Guy driving the car turned out to be a doctor. He gets out to render aid. The girl's parents decide to sue the doctor, claiming his aid made her injuries worse. All I said was something like "that's not fair or right". I was told to shut up, I was only a kid and couldn't have an opinion on the subject.
Oh wow. Yeah. I’m 35 and I was allowed to have opinions somewhere around 25.
Oh that man ain't even going to make it to 18.
Nah, it’s got to be bait
“She disrespected me”…the battle cry of an asshole.
Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes to mean "treating someone like an authority" For some, "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" means "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person"
Even with other adults.
Oh I see you’ve met my parents
Right? The fragility on this one
Yep it’s always the one-way respect thing.
Exactly! Then he destroys her school project???? I hope she takes a picture of it and shows the history teacher and says mom can back up her story. Go for the public shame! Zero chance he will cop to it with the school
Dollars to doughnuts, this chucklefuck punishes her *again* when her history grade tanks. I sincerely hope his work computer always crashes at the worst possible time(s), every day, forever. Fuck hin.
If this is true, which I hope it isn't, I sincerely hope his wife leaves him to protect the kid.
He didn't really seem to know or care much about what this project was about or how it would be graded, so hopefully he doesn't care enough about her schoolwork to know what she got (as a former teacher, that hurts to say, but there are some parents that are probably better being hands-off with their child's education, and OOP sounds like one of them).
I reject my reality, neighbor, and substitute yours. It makes me marginally less sad and angry (sangry?).
Great. Now I want Sangria.
Sorry, neighbor! If it's any consolation, now so do I... And I'm an ocean away from Dominick's.
I hope that every time he has to share his screen with his boss, a porn bot pops up.
I hope someone steals his teeth.
Neighbor, that is an *excellent* curse. May I adopt it?
Absolutely! I yell it at bad drivers all the time. I'd love to hear any stories it engenders!
I hope he is stuck on a highway in a traffic jam with Diarrhea while he has to puke and nothing to clean him up
May he always forget to back up his work files.
May they always get corrupted, and the tape backup not work.
"diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing" This guy is trying to justify his supposedly good parenting and has no idea what their kid is up to in school. Like not only did he destroy something for school he didn't know or care what it was for because he isn't that much of a parent to begin with. It's always the lazy disconnected parents who behave this way.
Daughter even said he never listens and then he proved her right
Which his wife pointed out, which he summarily dismissed immediately by saying that pointing out what he admits to doing was inherently disrespectful.
If they wanted to be listened to, they ought to have been born men!
I'm not even going to give him that. He knew it was for her school grades . He didn't ground her or take away something non essential but special. He deliberately and maliciously wrecked something affecting her future.
It's definitely a common characteristic I've seen in the "tough love" parents.
He's gonna be a divorced asshole if mom has a brain in her head.
I don't think this was a one time event. Chances are that he's been a POS to his daughter (and probably to his wife as well) for a long time and she's taking the damage control route, i.e. trying to "balance" out his impulsive punishments towards their daughter. The wife might have tried to talk to him several times but I think it's safe to assume that he doesn't listen but instead huffs and puffs until the wife gives in to "keep the peace".
If I was her I would take the project to school as is and show the teacher what he did and explain why he did it. Let him explain his actions to the school.
If I was the mom I’d ask for a parent/teacher conference to do just this. And take lots of pictures of the ruined project. And be sure to talk to my soon-to-be-ex about it over text.
"My dad ate my homework."
Oi! Dogs are at least not malicious.. okay most of the time 🤭
What a vindictive PoS! A punishment is supposed to teach your child a lesson, not an act of revenge, the only lesson OOPs daughter learned is that she and her belongings are unsafe at home because her father might decide to destroy them and ruin her life when he feels like she has wronged him in some way.
Abusive people never break their own stuff.
And now if she brings home a bad grade he'll find a way to turn it around putting the blame entirely on her.
I mean, it's her fault she disrespected him, so really, it is her fault /s
My ex husband “parented” this way. At the time I had him removed from the home, our kids were 11 and 6. Key word: ex. OOP’s wife needs to really focus on that key word and make it her reality.
Congratulations on getting out of that toxic situation. You obviously know this, but you and your kids don’t deserve to have to deal with that toxic shit.
Not everyone is able to leave bad situations. She may not be able to support herself + kid(s), etc. I left my ex, but I was lucky and had somewhere safe to go. This mom might not.
Oh, believe me I know that firsthand. My ex was abusive in all ways, and unfortunately the financial abuse was what kept me stuck. My babies and I suffered for over 5 years while I tried to get the money together to escape. Telling someone they need to leave is not something I do lightly, nor do I believe that everyone can make that decision on Monday and be out and safe by Tuesday.
He didn't discipline his daughter, he punished her. If it was truly discipline, the consequence would have taught a lesson about respect. Instead, it just taught the daughter her dad is gonna overreact to every little slight.
Fingers crossed the kid tells her teacher what happened and they call child services. Maybe it’ll be a wake up call for the wife to take her kid far away from the vindictive POS.
Got deleted so fast I couldn’t see the comments, and that makes me has a big sad.
https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=Serious-medium-8410&size=300 No more sads for thee ! Edit : got to ask for comments and not posts
Yeah, I can just imagine how caveman they are.
This has to be ragebait? Right? Please?
"I decided to punish her harder" sounds so excessively villainous. Bait.
I'd like to remember that destroying things that belong to someone else, or punching walls/doors, is also considered physical abuse.
I really hope that mom had the decency to message the teacher so the daughter doesn't get completely screwed over.
Yeah, this would be the smartest route, but Mom could also avoid that conversation because it may be embarrassing.
It sucks that this was my first thought, because in reality, this shouldn’t be mom’s responsibility. If dad thinks he was justified and this wasn’t an overreaction, he should be completely comfortable calling the school and telling them that he destroyed her project as a perfectly normal and appropriate punishment for her back-talking and lack of respect. He can even direct them not to give her an extension to make sure his lesson isn’t undermined. If his behavior was righteous, surely he’d have no hesitancy in telling her teachers what he did, right? Right?!?!
>it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is. She's 14. Welcome to parenting a teenager. >I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash "I decided to punish my teenage daughter by ruining her project which will likely affect her grade. That'll show her!" - OOP
Then OOP should never EVER complain about his daughter's poor grades. HE was part of the problem after all
This guy sounds like a vindictive lunatic.
This asshat would have been in the ICU had I been the wife.
I would be heading for divorce court if I was the wife. Eff this loser. You do not destroy your child’s school work
I believe this happened and he is a devil but I don't believe he wrote the post. Not going to be that self aware. My money is on the teen. Sorry they are stuck with an ah for a dad
As someone brought up plenty of these posts are the teens mentioned in the posts trying to reset their normal meter often with their therapist's advice
My money was rage bait. My own dad was a massive asshole with no idea, but even he wouldn’t destroy my schoolwork.
My mother was like this. Totally unpredictable and prone to fits of intense rage. She would arbitrarily cancel events or destroy my things or withdraw me from extracurricular activities. I learned not to tell her anything about what I cared about and who I was friends with. I have very low contact now, and that’s just because she will poison the extended family against me if I cut contact. She’s very charming and manipulative and people think she’s a saint so I don’t fancy my chances of being believed
Wow. what a flaming ass hat. "I was disrespected so I acted like a total asshole to...prove...that I'm not an asshole??" I can hope this isn't real, but I think my hopes are...unfounded.
This has to be rage bait.
I hope it is, but my parents 100% would have done this.
> I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void. Troll
OOP POST: ^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm 43M and my daughter is 14F. My daughter can be kind of argumentative and it's frustrating to try and reason with her because of how she is. She's been working on a diagram type thing for her history class and it's apparently a big thing. Last night her and I were talking and it lead to another argument. She made a comment about how I "never listen" which angered me, so I decided to punish her. I sent her to her room but she told her mom (my wife) and was let off. I tried to tell my wife she was punished, but she told me I was overreacting. I was mad she evaded punishment and decided to punish her harder. I found her project in her room and threw it out, destroying it so she couldn't just dig it out of the trash. She found out and was very upset with me, but I told her that she knew she was punished and got out of it so this will teach her the lesson she needs. She's now sulking because she "worked so hard" and now has to start over and has little time to finish. My wife and I have been arguing about this and she thinks I overreacted, but I think I'm just doing what a parent should do and disciplining my kid. She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void. My daughter and wife are upset with me now and now I'm wondering, am I the asshole? Edited to remove the *I am a bot message...* at the end of post copy
I missed what the kid did wrong, or is this a “resisting arrest” type deal?
I'd call this guy a dick but even dicks aren't ***this*** fragile 🙄
Anyone else noticed that he never actually says what they were arguing about? Just that they were arguing and she "disrespects" him by saying he never listens. Yeap, def a huge AH. Hope the wife and daughter get out.
"I was disrespected" dude grow the fuck up.
This sack of shit has no business being a parent.
He doesn’t even know what she’s working on in history class, lmao. What a turd.
this is actually psychotic behavior
I do not believe this. Fake ass fuck.
So because she “disrespected him” by clearly calling out behaviour that even his wife thinks he has, he punished her by fucking with her academics ?? He couldn’t ground her or take her phone or anything else ? Like he had to go straight for her academics ???
What happens if she fails this project is this man going to take responsibility for it?
It's unlikely that this "man" will ever take responsibility for anything. Sadly, situations like this are not limited by gender. My Dad's 2nd wife did crap like this as well. Even though the issuenever arose, I wouldn't have been surprised if my bioMom had acted this way as well. I truly lost the lottery jackpot with all of my parental figures besides my Granny, who passed away when I was 13 years old. Thankfully, I no longer have to worry about anything the step-monster might do because that b*tch has been permanently out of my life for nearly 20 years. I cut ties after my Dad passed away & then she died 18 months after him.
I really really hope Mom calls daughter’s history teacher and explains that Dad destroyed her project in a fit of patriarchal rage.
What kind of abusive monster sabotages her work so she now won't get as good a grade.
I remember working really hard on a math project during high school and I was proud of myself. If my dad ruined it because of an argument, I'd be hella bitter and resentful. Anyway, did the dad not realize he could have potentially failed his daughter if she didn't remake the project in time? If she didn't, then it'll be a gamble if her teacher believes the father broke it or not.
What on earth did i just read .. who is the kid here? This isn’t how parents should punish kids .. wife needs too divorce that ah
goodness, reading this filled me with so much rage-
You guys do realize this is a troll, right?
Yeah. It doesn’t sound at all like an adult wrote it
I dont know, kinda sounds like my ex stepdad
Same. He didn’t directly destroy a project because I was in trouble. But one time he was picking me up from school in the car because I had a project that was too big to take on the bus. My mom and I spent days on the project and I was so proud. He knew this was why he was picking me up. He chose to pick me up in his sports car that had no back seat and a small trunk. The project couldn’t fit in my lap. He forced it into the trunk, breaking it in the process and couldn’t figure out why I cried all night.
I hope your mon divorced him
She did. He was an awful guy
Good. If you dont mind me asking and you dont have to answer if you dont want to but do you have any other stories about him
After the divorce he broke into our house and stole items that he had bought for us. This includes my hello kitty tv that was a birthday present, my stereo system, my brothers laptop, lots of my mom’s jewelry, and he even removed the tv off the wall mount in the living room. We know it was him because of a) a random burglar doesn’t remove a tv from the wall mount b) the specific items and c) gold bangles given to my by my grandma were not stolen and were removed from their box and laid gently on the dresser. Besides that, there wasn’t a lot of specific moments. Just the general idea of he wanted my mom to be a trophy wife. He often tried to buy me and my brothers love with toys and such. He was all about image and luxury, buying fancy car and clothes and items that we didn’t need. He one time picked me up from school in a limo (they owned a limo business at the time) because he wanted to show off. He wasn’t very nice and made mean comments a lot. He told me at 12 years old I shouldn’t sing because I was terrible at it (I was singing along to my iPod in my room while cleaning). Him and my mom would fight a lot. She says he never hit her but I don’t believe her.
Wow what a pos
It might sound like what your stepdad did. It def doesn’t sound like how your stepdad would think about what he did
True
Like most of what gets posted here, it’s fake. All the outrage over nothing. The original poster sure got some laughs I bet though.
The number of people who think this is real is astonishing.
What the hell type of parents ruins their kid's work because they are so incompetent. If your child disrespects you, there are better ways to deal with it than ruin your kid's hard work. What are you teaching your child, that grown ups will have temper tantrums???
I just learnt the word thundercunt and it absolutely applies here.
>She told me my daughter was right and that I never listen, especially since I destroyed her important project after she had said it was a final project and she could fail for this, but I was disrespected which I think makes that point null and void. So because she was ''disrespectful'' it doesn't matter that he is fucking with her future? And he doesn't understand that this type of behavior is the reason why she cannot gather the strength to muster up respect for him?! Poor child, at least her mom tries to help but why is she staying with him?
That’s what happens when you have a kid, is 40 and something but acts like a toddler and has no control over your emotions. One day he will act like a victim because he is alone and his family don’t care about him…
Judging by ops replies, he won’t listen to strangers on the internet either. Yta.
...What mindset does he honestly have to think that what he did was okay? I really hope his daughter goes NC with him once she moves out.
This sounds more like OOP is 14 and he was getting revenge on his sister not his daughter. I'm just having a hard time picturing a grown man in his 40s destroying his child's school work as punishment. It makes no sense. I can definitely see a teenager doing that to one of their siblings though
OOP, go back to the 50s with your "I am the king of the castle" BS. You don't destroy a kid's school project out of spite. This could affect her grade. You want her to fail? YTA.
There are times when the Be civil rule needs to be set aside, this is one of them
What the hell? Punishment isn't revenge!
May he step on legos every day of his life, his cable go out everytime his fave show or sports etc. Is on, his pillow warm on all sides, his fave food and drink always out of stock at the store, his clothes never fitting right, and his socks always sopping wet. Also hope his wife divorces him and takes full custody of his kid cause what he did is beyond messed up and abusive.
Imagine destroying anything of your child's because you've packed a wee sad, let alone their (ostensibly examinable/gradable) school work...
This stirred up so much anger and disgust inside of me, I don’t even know where to begin with this vile creature.
Hope he has fun at the retirement home when he is old and she never visits.
i sincerely hopes the kid lets the school know why her project wasn’t completed
What a goddamned psycho
This sounds like fake rage bait.
Literally how does that make sense. I understand giving her extra chores or a lecture maybe (even though I think this daughter was probably making a valid point in saying that he “never listens”), but destroying a project that decides if she will pass her class or not? That isn’t a punishment, that’s extremely manipulative. Dude is quite literally okay with possibly destroying his daughter’s future. This guys a weird asshole .
For the life of me I can never understand how these people can read what they just wrote and think they're not the asshole. Like god knows my parents spanked me more than once, grounded me, yelled at me a few times. But I cannot think of any time they destroyed something that was mine or that I worked on. *Especially* a school project. He's absolutely the type of guy who's gonna kick her out at eighteen. But we'll see how he likes it when she has kids and refuses to let him see them.
The fact that he leaves out what the argument was about goes to show you that he is fully aware that he is the asshole but wants to be seen as the victim. Also, he just doesn’t like his daughter.
I really don't understand the point...ruin your kids school career because you don't listen...sounds like my father.
Bait.
I am all for boundaries and consequences for behavioral issues, including disrespect and bad attitudes. That's not what happened here. A parent should never jeopardize a child's grade as a punishment. I mean, if my kid gets a bad grade because she didn't do the work, that's a natural consequence. But you don't destroy work as a punishment. This punishment doesn't fit the "crime." Honestly, mom should have stayed out of it in the first place and let the girl be sent to her room. And dad needs to be present with his family. He also needs a better way to handle giving out consequences. I really hope this girl is able to redo the project to the quality that she had before. But she's never going to forget what her dad did.
I would destroy his phone, PS5 or whatever he values.
OOP is shadowbanned. I think this is rage bait
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Is a class doing stories of "people (unjustly) feeling disrespected"?