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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I relieved myself in a bathroom while at a party. My friends roommate heard and questioned me, I lied and eventually admitted the truth. The roommate then told everyone and now people are unfollowing me on socials. She thinks what I did was disrespectful; to do that in someone’s home. However I knew people were doing much worse and yet I was singled out. But people’s responses are making me think that I might be in the wrong.
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Can I ask what the difference is between doing what I did, in a place where I regularly stay vs people literally hooking up in the room next door, in the room mates bed?
It's called common courtesy. They are gross, too. But we're not judging them. Just you. YTA. If that happened in my home, you can bet you would NEVER be invited again.
At a party where other people are around and likely to use that bathroom right after? I might not. It’s not like she did it in the shower where no one will be or it is likely to have been clean before guests. And it just shows they don’t have any social awareness or ability to think of other people
Heads up: many women do not leave any mess behind whatsoever when masturbating. Pull up your clothes and wash your hands, and there is no sign left behind. You wouldn’t need to get into the shower. Different plumbing.
(I’m not saying OP was fine to do this btw)
Sure, but she’s likely touching stuff before you wash your hands and I doubt she’s wiping everything down even. I meant shower in the sense where it’s away from where most people are doing their business during a party.
Maybe that's acceptable for your friend group (although OP appears to have thought that too) but that's certainly never been appropriate behavior in any social groups I've been in.
You’re all gross. Go home and fuck. Not in someone else’s bed who isn’t part of the sexy time. Jesus Christ have some decency and consideration for others. Not everyone wants to sleep in your cum stains.
YTA that is creepy.
Your friends are weird too to keep asking you but how loud is the vibration that they could hear it while a whole party was going on?
You masturbated at a party and then lied and said that you were brushing your teeth with someone else's toothbrush because you thought that was less gross?
It wasn't.
Eww ....
YTA
When she said "I was brushing my teeth," but the only electric toothbrush in the bathroom belonged to someone else... That's her saying she was using their toothbrush.
Backtracking afterwards doesn't mean she didn't say it. And it being false doesn't make it less gross to me.
So you masturbated at a party? Would you be comfortable with a guy jacked off in your bathroom real fast to relieve himself? YTA for jilling at the party
I get it, what I did was wrong and apparently a bit demented. I think maybe my view on things has been distorted a bit with how other people have behaved around me and in my own home, this friend included.
And guess for me it was the fact that people where in the room next door doing a lot worse, and everyone knew and it was just ok.
Same way if I had gone with that guy who hit on me and did stuff somewhere in the apartment, no one would have bat an eye. But it’s weird if someone does it by themselves in private.
I’m a little terrible with social cues to be honest, but since the majority of people here are saying it’s wrong I’ll agree that it was wrong.
Mostly it’s making me rethink the group of friends I’m in to be honest.
Probably because people thought you were masturbating to them fucking. They probably think you couldn't get any or you don't want to have sex but you do want to masturbate to strangers. It is absolutely weird. You knew it was that's why you tried to hide it.
😧 I’ve been doing a lot of introspective thinking the past few hours…but nothing has grossed me out more than this comment.
I think I might need to move.
You probably need a new friend group at a minimum. It's probably going to spread as a rumor. I remember kids from high school that jacked off at a party and we've never forgotten that. It's a weird thing to do. People like to talk about weird shit.
I think what’s throwing me is how “tame” of a thing it would be compared to some of the things the group have done who are a bit exhibitionist.
The friend in this story said the issue was that the women thought I was attention seeking from the men to do that at a party. I can already see the story has progressed to me being very vocal in the bathroom when that wasn’t the case.
But all in all, it doesn’t matter now anyways, I’ve apologies and also decided I won’t be meeting any of the people in the group again, my friend included. My eyes are open to how not ok a lot of the things that have gone on are.
Stop comparing to what they are doing or did do. We are talking about YOU not THEM. Stop being defensive and be real with yourself and us.
You don’t need therapy like someone else said, what you did was something that should be done in the safety and privacy of your own home and you did it in another persons bathroom. Don’t beat yourself up about it but do be upfront and blunt with yourself and admit that it was inappropriate.
Do not compare to what others have done like you are. Just focus on yourself
It’s not about being defensive or not, I’ve just realised that this friend group have done so many things around me that I need to distance myself from them - because they have warped my reality of what is and isn’t ok. So I am helping myself by removing myself from that friend group entirely.
The roommate has asked me to come over today, but I’ve told her no and she said that she would come to mine instead then. So I don’t really know what she wants to talk about, I’ve already apologised and said I wanted to take a break from the group.
The judgy comments in this post are wild. What you did is not that serious. The creepy person was the one insisting you explain what you were doing in the bathroom. People do this ALL THE TIME! People pay money to buy toys they wear all day…at work, restaurants, family gatherings…to get off. It’s not that serious. Just be more discreet next time.
Look, any woman at that party who slut-shamed you for this is NOT your friend, period. What the roommate did to you, calling you out in front of everyone and telling the whole party, was incredibly shitty of her.
Definitely get a new group of friends. Even if you were weird, they should have had your back in front of the guests. They should've spoken with you in private on where you went wrong.
To be honest I’m now thinking about what this friend, her roommate and those in this group have done around me that were on a similar level to this.
I wish there was a website or something that I could be like “hey, this thing happened, weird or not weird?” I think my idea of what is normal is warped
Also, to answer the question, I wouldn’t have cared if a guy did that in my bathroom so long as there was no mess. But I’m getting that that is the wrong answer? 😅
Can't speak for everyone, but if someone hooked up or maturbated in my home, particularly without asking, I'd be extremely upset. Admittedly, when you're younger things are different. College-aged and before I'll give you a pass, but if you're any older I'd please suggest reflecting on the folks you hang around which make you feel like this is "Okay," because it really isn't. Just have sex/masturbate somewhere else, or even just don't and control your urges. If you feel like you can't control them, that's the bigger issue here regardless of embarrassment, I'd say.
I’ve reached the realisation that these aren’t the best people for me to be around.
Because if you told me a week ago that they would have had an issue with me doing that in the bathroom I wouldn’t have believed it. Like not to get to graphic, but this specific friend has done things while I was in the same room as her and said it’s a girl thing. And the roommate has done other things like unlocking the bathroom door to double up while I showered.
I spoke to this friend about the situation and she said the issue was that guys were around so the other girls saw it as me trying to get attention from the guys.
I’ve sent the roommate and apology, but honestly I think I’m just not going to see these people again, it’s not too difficult since they live in another town, but yeah.
Yeah, OP, those friends don't sound like a very good influence, I'm sorry to say. IN THE SAME ROOM would be grounds for a serious conversation or stepping away for a while, and my friends who are women would all agree.
Even disregarding the whole rest of this, the fact that the women took it as some sort of "attention seeking" behavior just speaks even more to some odd dysfunction in this group, at least from what I'm reading.
I wish you the best!
This isnt on anyone else. She jacked of in a bathroom at a party and tried to hide it. Everything else is just her not wanting to own up to just how perverse that way.
I thought it was ok with my friend group....no it wasn't.
Iam extremely shock with this hate comments you are receiving. First of all you were alone in the bathroom and you were not harmming anyone. Then you told the true to the friend after she push you...kind of invating your privacy. Then she shamed you by tell everybody in the party. If i had a daughter i would prefer her doing what you did then sleeping with the guy and regret It later. NTA but this friend that told everybody is a Big A
I really wouldn’t, because if a guy had said he was horny and rather than make a bad decision and sleep with someone he decided to do that instead I’d be like “fairs”.
But I’ve learned that what I think is ok is a bit warped especially with the company I’ve kept.
I don't understand how masturbating eliminates the risk of you making bad decisions? Your self control is so non existent that you can't just NOT sleep with someone?
Why are you telling her she’s lying and telling ner how what she thinks and feels when you don’t even know her? Your aggression towards her is belligerently odd.
Because a woman got herself off and Reddit can't believe that post-nut clarity is a thing for women as well as men. Is what she did wrong? Yes. Is it sick, twisted, evil, utterly foul like every pearl-clutching idiot in this thread is implying? Fuck no.
I am confused by these very judgemental and mean responses. And I’m saying this as an asexual person.
You were at a party, where people were hooking up and doing other nsfw behaviour. You went into the bathroom and did what you did in private. You didn’t do it in public or purposely loudly so people would hear. It would have been better to mute the noise as much as possible. And Could and should you have waited till you got home? That would be better, but I see no difference between what you did and people hooking up in private spaces at the party.
Your friends are assholes for sure. It’s one thing to ask you in private. It’s another to badger you about it incessantly and do sleuthing of the details and then announce to everyone at the party and now you’re ostracized, when you thought it would be ok because they do similar things sexually. Consider this a positive experience in that you learnt what assholes your “friends” are and in doing introspection on how you want to act and not act around people.
Seriously, I am baffled by the prudish responses here. Maybe if masturbating in bathrooms at parties was normalised, people would make smarter sexual decisions ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I don't think you did anything wrong or weird or creepy. You did something private, in a private place. What anybody is doing in the bathroom is no one's business but their own. Doesn't fucking matter what you were doing. Bathroom business is PRIVATE. NTA
I agree. People buy toys to wear in public all the time. I’m not sure why so many people are freaking out in the comments. If she was in high school, the high school kids might act silly about it. But she is a grown adult and I’m assuming the other people at the party were adults. What was weird is that people were asking what she was doing in the bathroom…that’s what was weird.
I'm not exactly sure why you thought doing that was a good idea but I hope you've learned something from this experience. I'm not gonna say you're an 'asshole' but you definitely shouldn't do that kind of thing in the future.
Well, probably shouldn't have done that, but that in no way excuses the actions of the roommate. I certainly understand them being uncomfortable, but telling everyone is just not on.
You both suck and should both apologise.
ESH, just because people were having sex all over the house doesn’t mean it was appropriate. You must have teenage levels of hormones if you can’t wait a day until you get home. That being said, the roommate who told everyone is a bigger asshole. Absolutely unacceptable and I wouldn’t talk to any of them again frankly.
I’ve realised what I did was wrong. I’m removing myself from the group completely. I’ve had an eye opening moment of “ok if what I did wasn’t ok, then all those other things they did definitely weren’t”.
Currently a few of them and the room mate are asking me why I’m not responding to them.
cranking one out in another person's bathroom at a party is a bit weird, yeah, but demanding to know what someone was doing in the bathroom and then telling everyone at the party is some high school bully shit
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This weekend I was at a party, it was at my friends home and I was staying the night. I had just been on a work trip so most of my essentials were still in my bag.
I’m prefacing this because, in my toiletry bag I do have a little portal vibrator, as embarrassing as that is to admit. I didn’t think to remove it.
At the party a guy was hitting on me and I was considering going somewhere private with him, but decided against it.
So I excused myself to the bathroom, and that’s when I realised I had my toy in my toiletry bag.
I decided to use it and get myself a clear mind to not make bad decisions. I did what I did, quietly and discreetly I thought. But as I left the bathroom there were people in the hall and my friends roommate asked me what I was doing in there because she could hear a buzzing sound.
Without thinking I said “oh, I was just brushing my teeth” and walked away. A few minutes later she comes over to me again to ask what I did as she knows I don’t have an electric one. (How?)
So I said I turned my friends toothbrush on to make white noise so no one could hear me pee. She said my friends one wasn’t charged (why does she know that?)
I told her she was being really weird, and she just kept pressing me, in front of everyone. So I lead her and my friend out the room and told them the truth. My friend found it funny, especially the pee shyness lie. So I thought all is fine, the roommate didn’t say anything.
I go into the kitchen, get some water and then walk back out into the living room and the vibe is so weird. A few girls are giving me grossed out looks and a few guys are looking creepy and leery.
And the roommate loudly asked if I had to go and relieve myself again and people laughed. I heard slut and bop called out. My friend was angry and ended the party
After the party the roommate said what I did was gross and disrespectful, my stance is people were doing a lot worse all over the home - but she focused on what I did privately.
Since the party some girls have removed me from socials, I’m starting to wonder if I was the asshole. My friend is on my side but also just wants the situation over, which will only end if I apologise. I’m wondering now if I should.
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I wouldn’t call you an asshole for what you did, but I’m sure as hell judging you for it. That’s just nasty to do at someone else’s place, so I’d say you’re a bit of an idiot. But the roommate is the true asshole here for continuing to ask when you were clearly uncomfortable, and then for telling everyone.
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This is so fucking weird and I’m glad people aren’t giving you a pass on this just because you’re a woman. I’m a guy and if I ever masturbated at someone’s house during a party, I would turn myself in to the police and ask them to lock me up because apparently I can’t be trusted to function normally in this society.
Edit; I’m just wondering without judging here: do you think all of this drama was worth not going with that guy who was flirting with you? Because apparently he turned you on and you never mentioned what the reason was that you decided against it. I’m just curious
You should have answered that you masturbated, just to shut them up, tbh, but oy lying... So, I'll say ESH.
But if you were blunt and told them the truth, it would have been a NTA from me.
YTA bc i think you could have went home to do that and gotten his number or something? idk I understand being overwhelmed but you got to understand other people need to pee .. *she is taking a while* **do you hear buzzing?**
Your friends suck because why would they tell everyone. When they noticed, they should have texted you. Btw most people run the faucet when they need to cover the sound of peeing.
This is so weird. Yta. It’s a party you know what goes on there. Just cause other people are doing it doesn’t make it okay. Not only that you’re acting like people don’t have the right to be upset you did that in someone’s HOUSE. You should’ve just dipped if wanted to flick the been/polish the sword.
I know it was weird, I’ve had a reality check about a lot of different situations that have happened with these friends which aren’t ok.
Could I ask a question though, without sounding silly or stupid. Is it wrong to do that if you’re a guest somewhere no matter how long you are at a place? Like ok one of these friends stays at my place for a week or so each month, and she is open about when and what she’s doing where.
Staying somewhere and being a night guest are two different things. It’s about respect. My opinion is the same (except now I do believe ESH)but I understand other people have different lives. So while my comment comes off as a total asshat cause my life is obviously totally different than yours. I get it. My opinion stays the same for ME. Obviously you have different relationships and a whole life. When I say that though you gotta understand I’m saying it cause what if that’s why they were all weirded out cause they had the same thought process as me. We’re all living the first time and I think we’re all doing what we can. If you have friendships like you said with your friend staying over and being honest about their activities then obviously y’all are open honest and comfortable with such things which TOTALLY fair. Hopefully everything works for you!!!
YTA. I’d be so uncomfortable knowing that someone was doing this in my bathroom. I agree with the sex therapy if you are making bad decisions like that.
YTA; The fact that you think the guys were giving you creepy and leery looks, when you're creepy enough to get yourself off in someone else's home, during a party, with a vibrator that you carry around on trips just because?
You need therapy and help OP
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It's creepy you would do that at someone else's house during a party. Don't. Eww. YTA.
Can I ask what the difference is between doing what I did, in a place where I regularly stay vs people literally hooking up in the room next door, in the room mates bed?
It's called common courtesy. They are gross, too. But we're not judging them. Just you. YTA. If that happened in my home, you can bet you would NEVER be invited again.
Wait, what? You wouldn’t have a friend over again if you found out they masturbated in your bathroom once??
At a party where other people are around and likely to use that bathroom right after? I might not. It’s not like she did it in the shower where no one will be or it is likely to have been clean before guests. And it just shows they don’t have any social awareness or ability to think of other people
Heads up: many women do not leave any mess behind whatsoever when masturbating. Pull up your clothes and wash your hands, and there is no sign left behind. You wouldn’t need to get into the shower. Different plumbing. (I’m not saying OP was fine to do this btw)
Sure, but she’s likely touching stuff before you wash your hands and I doubt she’s wiping everything down even. I meant shower in the sense where it’s away from where most people are doing their business during a party.
Just wait till you find out what else happens in a bathroom before people wash their hands.
deegum said exactly what I would have. That would be crossing a boundary for me. So yes, that person would not be permitted in my place anymore.
Absolutely. If someone masturbated in my home at all I wouldn’t want them back. That’s ridiculous
Maybe that's acceptable for your friend group (although OP appears to have thought that too) but that's certainly never been appropriate behavior in any social groups I've been in.
You’re all gross. Go home and fuck. Not in someone else’s bed who isn’t part of the sexy time. Jesus Christ have some decency and consideration for others. Not everyone wants to sleep in your cum stains.
No difference, both of yall are nasty
YTA. You may also need some sexual therapy if the only way to control your urges is to masturbate at a party.
YTA that is creepy. Your friends are weird too to keep asking you but how loud is the vibration that they could hear it while a whole party was going on?
You masturbated at a party and then lied and said that you were brushing your teeth with someone else's toothbrush because you thought that was less gross? It wasn't. Eww .... YTA
She said she turned it on as white noise so they wouldn't hear her pee. She never said she used it, although that is what I read from the caption.
I think she got carried away writing her fictional story and forgot about the title.
When she said "I was brushing my teeth," but the only electric toothbrush in the bathroom belonged to someone else... That's her saying she was using their toothbrush. Backtracking afterwards doesn't mean she didn't say it. And it being false doesn't make it less gross to me.
Nah uh, all of my stuff was in that bathroom too, I was staying the night. The roommate went through my things to check what kind of toothbrush I had.
Then she is *also* an AH. That doesn't make you any less wrong for anything of this shit.
Huh? No I didn’t?
So you masturbated at a party? Would you be comfortable with a guy jacked off in your bathroom real fast to relieve himself? YTA for jilling at the party
I get it, what I did was wrong and apparently a bit demented. I think maybe my view on things has been distorted a bit with how other people have behaved around me and in my own home, this friend included. And guess for me it was the fact that people where in the room next door doing a lot worse, and everyone knew and it was just ok. Same way if I had gone with that guy who hit on me and did stuff somewhere in the apartment, no one would have bat an eye. But it’s weird if someone does it by themselves in private. I’m a little terrible with social cues to be honest, but since the majority of people here are saying it’s wrong I’ll agree that it was wrong. Mostly it’s making me rethink the group of friends I’m in to be honest.
Probably because people thought you were masturbating to them fucking. They probably think you couldn't get any or you don't want to have sex but you do want to masturbate to strangers. It is absolutely weird. You knew it was that's why you tried to hide it.
😧 I’ve been doing a lot of introspective thinking the past few hours…but nothing has grossed me out more than this comment. I think I might need to move.
You probably need a new friend group at a minimum. It's probably going to spread as a rumor. I remember kids from high school that jacked off at a party and we've never forgotten that. It's a weird thing to do. People like to talk about weird shit.
I think what’s throwing me is how “tame” of a thing it would be compared to some of the things the group have done who are a bit exhibitionist. The friend in this story said the issue was that the women thought I was attention seeking from the men to do that at a party. I can already see the story has progressed to me being very vocal in the bathroom when that wasn’t the case. But all in all, it doesn’t matter now anyways, I’ve apologies and also decided I won’t be meeting any of the people in the group again, my friend included. My eyes are open to how not ok a lot of the things that have gone on are.
Stop comparing to what they are doing or did do. We are talking about YOU not THEM. Stop being defensive and be real with yourself and us. You don’t need therapy like someone else said, what you did was something that should be done in the safety and privacy of your own home and you did it in another persons bathroom. Don’t beat yourself up about it but do be upfront and blunt with yourself and admit that it was inappropriate. Do not compare to what others have done like you are. Just focus on yourself
It’s not about being defensive or not, I’ve just realised that this friend group have done so many things around me that I need to distance myself from them - because they have warped my reality of what is and isn’t ok. So I am helping myself by removing myself from that friend group entirely. The roommate has asked me to come over today, but I’ve told her no and she said that she would come to mine instead then. So I don’t really know what she wants to talk about, I’ve already apologised and said I wanted to take a break from the group.
The judgy comments in this post are wild. What you did is not that serious. The creepy person was the one insisting you explain what you were doing in the bathroom. People do this ALL THE TIME! People pay money to buy toys they wear all day…at work, restaurants, family gatherings…to get off. It’s not that serious. Just be more discreet next time.
Look, any woman at that party who slut-shamed you for this is NOT your friend, period. What the roommate did to you, calling you out in front of everyone and telling the whole party, was incredibly shitty of her.
It’s your own fault your grossed out at that comment…you did what you did and what this comment says is exactly what I was thinking.
Ok
What are you even saying with this word salad comment?
Definitely get a new group of friends. Even if you were weird, they should have had your back in front of the guests. They should've spoken with you in private on where you went wrong.
To be honest I’m now thinking about what this friend, her roommate and those in this group have done around me that were on a similar level to this. I wish there was a website or something that I could be like “hey, this thing happened, weird or not weird?” I think my idea of what is normal is warped
There is a website called is this normal? Not sure if people widely use it though
The point of parties is to meet / connect with people.
Also, to answer the question, I wouldn’t have cared if a guy did that in my bathroom so long as there was no mess. But I’m getting that that is the wrong answer? 😅
Can't speak for everyone, but if someone hooked up or maturbated in my home, particularly without asking, I'd be extremely upset. Admittedly, when you're younger things are different. College-aged and before I'll give you a pass, but if you're any older I'd please suggest reflecting on the folks you hang around which make you feel like this is "Okay," because it really isn't. Just have sex/masturbate somewhere else, or even just don't and control your urges. If you feel like you can't control them, that's the bigger issue here regardless of embarrassment, I'd say.
I’ve reached the realisation that these aren’t the best people for me to be around. Because if you told me a week ago that they would have had an issue with me doing that in the bathroom I wouldn’t have believed it. Like not to get to graphic, but this specific friend has done things while I was in the same room as her and said it’s a girl thing. And the roommate has done other things like unlocking the bathroom door to double up while I showered. I spoke to this friend about the situation and she said the issue was that guys were around so the other girls saw it as me trying to get attention from the guys. I’ve sent the roommate and apology, but honestly I think I’m just not going to see these people again, it’s not too difficult since they live in another town, but yeah.
Yeah, OP, those friends don't sound like a very good influence, I'm sorry to say. IN THE SAME ROOM would be grounds for a serious conversation or stepping away for a while, and my friends who are women would all agree. Even disregarding the whole rest of this, the fact that the women took it as some sort of "attention seeking" behavior just speaks even more to some odd dysfunction in this group, at least from what I'm reading. I wish you the best!
What does doubled up mean?
Seems like you’re deflecting. Was it them who loudly wanked in a bathroom during a party, or you?
More the realisation that if what I did was wrong then what I’ve been accepting around me has also been wrong.
[удалено]
You seem nice
And you think your original comment was nice?!
This isnt on anyone else. She jacked of in a bathroom at a party and tried to hide it. Everything else is just her not wanting to own up to just how perverse that way. I thought it was ok with my friend group....no it wasn't.
Iam extremely shock with this hate comments you are receiving. First of all you were alone in the bathroom and you were not harmming anyone. Then you told the true to the friend after she push you...kind of invating your privacy. Then she shamed you by tell everybody in the party. If i had a daughter i would prefer her doing what you did then sleeping with the guy and regret It later. NTA but this friend that told everybody is a Big A
You are absolutely lying. You would be creeped out by this.
I really wouldn’t, because if a guy had said he was horny and rather than make a bad decision and sleep with someone he decided to do that instead I’d be like “fairs”. But I’ve learned that what I think is ok is a bit warped especially with the company I’ve kept.
I don't understand how masturbating eliminates the risk of you making bad decisions? Your self control is so non existent that you can't just NOT sleep with someone?
It’s more like “do I just want sex or am I into this guy”. And then after it’s like “oh, no, I wasn’t into him”.
I don't agree with what you did but I agree post nut clarity is a thing for women too lmao
Why are you telling her she’s lying and telling ner how what she thinks and feels when you don’t even know her? Your aggression towards her is belligerently odd.
Because a woman got herself off and Reddit can't believe that post-nut clarity is a thing for women as well as men. Is what she did wrong? Yes. Is it sick, twisted, evil, utterly foul like every pearl-clutching idiot in this thread is implying? Fuck no.
I am confused by these very judgemental and mean responses. And I’m saying this as an asexual person. You were at a party, where people were hooking up and doing other nsfw behaviour. You went into the bathroom and did what you did in private. You didn’t do it in public or purposely loudly so people would hear. It would have been better to mute the noise as much as possible. And Could and should you have waited till you got home? That would be better, but I see no difference between what you did and people hooking up in private spaces at the party. Your friends are assholes for sure. It’s one thing to ask you in private. It’s another to badger you about it incessantly and do sleuthing of the details and then announce to everyone at the party and now you’re ostracized, when you thought it would be ok because they do similar things sexually. Consider this a positive experience in that you learnt what assholes your “friends” are and in doing introspection on how you want to act and not act around people.
Thank you for writing this. The most reasonable response on here.
Seriously, I am baffled by the prudish responses here. Maybe if masturbating in bathrooms at parties was normalised, people would make smarter sexual decisions ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I don't think you did anything wrong or weird or creepy. You did something private, in a private place. What anybody is doing in the bathroom is no one's business but their own. Doesn't fucking matter what you were doing. Bathroom business is PRIVATE. NTA
I agree. It’s so weird that someone pressed her and asked all those questions. She deserves privacy in the bathroom. People here are such prudes.
I agree. People buy toys to wear in public all the time. I’m not sure why so many people are freaking out in the comments. If she was in high school, the high school kids might act silly about it. But she is a grown adult and I’m assuming the other people at the party were adults. What was weird is that people were asking what she was doing in the bathroom…that’s what was weird.
ESH. You for what you did and the roommate for being so obnoxious about getting the information out.
I'm not exactly sure why you thought doing that was a good idea but I hope you've learned something from this experience. I'm not gonna say you're an 'asshole' but you definitely shouldn't do that kind of thing in the future.
Well, probably shouldn't have done that, but that in no way excuses the actions of the roommate. I certainly understand them being uncomfortable, but telling everyone is just not on. You both suck and should both apologise.
ESH, just because people were having sex all over the house doesn’t mean it was appropriate. You must have teenage levels of hormones if you can’t wait a day until you get home. That being said, the roommate who told everyone is a bigger asshole. Absolutely unacceptable and I wouldn’t talk to any of them again frankly.
I’ve realised what I did was wrong. I’m removing myself from the group completely. I’ve had an eye opening moment of “ok if what I did wasn’t ok, then all those other things they did definitely weren’t”. Currently a few of them and the room mate are asking me why I’m not responding to them.
That’s great. I think you’ll find you are happier without such chaos.
You would never be invited back to my house if you done that. It's so disrespectful
cranking one out in another person's bathroom at a party is a bit weird, yeah, but demanding to know what someone was doing in the bathroom and then telling everyone at the party is some high school bully shit
NTA!!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This weekend I was at a party, it was at my friends home and I was staying the night. I had just been on a work trip so most of my essentials were still in my bag. I’m prefacing this because, in my toiletry bag I do have a little portal vibrator, as embarrassing as that is to admit. I didn’t think to remove it. At the party a guy was hitting on me and I was considering going somewhere private with him, but decided against it. So I excused myself to the bathroom, and that’s when I realised I had my toy in my toiletry bag. I decided to use it and get myself a clear mind to not make bad decisions. I did what I did, quietly and discreetly I thought. But as I left the bathroom there were people in the hall and my friends roommate asked me what I was doing in there because she could hear a buzzing sound. Without thinking I said “oh, I was just brushing my teeth” and walked away. A few minutes later she comes over to me again to ask what I did as she knows I don’t have an electric one. (How?) So I said I turned my friends toothbrush on to make white noise so no one could hear me pee. She said my friends one wasn’t charged (why does she know that?) I told her she was being really weird, and she just kept pressing me, in front of everyone. So I lead her and my friend out the room and told them the truth. My friend found it funny, especially the pee shyness lie. So I thought all is fine, the roommate didn’t say anything. I go into the kitchen, get some water and then walk back out into the living room and the vibe is so weird. A few girls are giving me grossed out looks and a few guys are looking creepy and leery. And the roommate loudly asked if I had to go and relieve myself again and people laughed. I heard slut and bop called out. My friend was angry and ended the party After the party the roommate said what I did was gross and disrespectful, my stance is people were doing a lot worse all over the home - but she focused on what I did privately. Since the party some girls have removed me from socials, I’m starting to wonder if I was the asshole. My friend is on my side but also just wants the situation over, which will only end if I apologise. I’m wondering now if I should. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wouldn’t call you an asshole for what you did, but I’m sure as hell judging you for it. That’s just nasty to do at someone else’s place, so I’d say you’re a bit of an idiot. But the roommate is the true asshole here for continuing to ask when you were clearly uncomfortable, and then for telling everyone.
Time for some new friends
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This is so fucking weird and I’m glad people aren’t giving you a pass on this just because you’re a woman. I’m a guy and if I ever masturbated at someone’s house during a party, I would turn myself in to the police and ask them to lock me up because apparently I can’t be trusted to function normally in this society. Edit; I’m just wondering without judging here: do you think all of this drama was worth not going with that guy who was flirting with you? Because apparently he turned you on and you never mentioned what the reason was that you decided against it. I’m just curious
NTA. Not creepy. But making noise got you in hot water. Hope you learned your lesson.
You should have answered that you masturbated, just to shut them up, tbh, but oy lying... So, I'll say ESH. But if you were blunt and told them the truth, it would have been a NTA from me.
YTA- you beat off in a bathroom at a party. I get it young and hormones. But gee. Try to get a little self control.
YTA bc i think you could have went home to do that and gotten his number or something? idk I understand being overwhelmed but you got to understand other people need to pee .. *she is taking a while* **do you hear buzzing?** Your friends suck because why would they tell everyone. When they noticed, they should have texted you. Btw most people run the faucet when they need to cover the sound of peeing.
This is so weird. Yta. It’s a party you know what goes on there. Just cause other people are doing it doesn’t make it okay. Not only that you’re acting like people don’t have the right to be upset you did that in someone’s HOUSE. You should’ve just dipped if wanted to flick the been/polish the sword.
I know it was weird, I’ve had a reality check about a lot of different situations that have happened with these friends which aren’t ok. Could I ask a question though, without sounding silly or stupid. Is it wrong to do that if you’re a guest somewhere no matter how long you are at a place? Like ok one of these friends stays at my place for a week or so each month, and she is open about when and what she’s doing where.
Staying somewhere and being a night guest are two different things. It’s about respect. My opinion is the same (except now I do believe ESH)but I understand other people have different lives. So while my comment comes off as a total asshat cause my life is obviously totally different than yours. I get it. My opinion stays the same for ME. Obviously you have different relationships and a whole life. When I say that though you gotta understand I’m saying it cause what if that’s why they were all weirded out cause they had the same thought process as me. We’re all living the first time and I think we’re all doing what we can. If you have friendships like you said with your friend staying over and being honest about their activities then obviously y’all are open honest and comfortable with such things which TOTALLY fair. Hopefully everything works for you!!!
YTA. I’d be so uncomfortable knowing that someone was doing this in my bathroom. I agree with the sex therapy if you are making bad decisions like that.
YTA; The fact that you think the guys were giving you creepy and leery looks, when you're creepy enough to get yourself off in someone else's home, during a party, with a vibrator that you carry around on trips just because? You need therapy and help OP
“Hey Reddit I masturbated really loud at a party, everyone else is the asshole right?????”
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They heard you
It clearly was loud enough that you got yourself into the situation