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custardcreams

Did she leave at 10? I'm going to say NTA, leaving a 7 year old alone is irresponsible at the very least. Ask her parents to call you if she contacts you about the money again.


AnonymousIdiot229

Yes, she did leave right at 10. She blocked us and said she was never sitting for us again (which is perfectly fine with me)


This_Clock

You don’t talk rudely to someone who’s preparing your food or watching your child even if you think you’re right. You, the adult, were late and you’re dealing with a 15 year old. you should buffer more time in the future, not set expectations at everything goes perfect. Let’s be honest, you’re probably late for a lot of things. “Hey, we’re running late because of an accident. We’ll get you paid for the extra time with a little extra.” If she still gives what you feel is unjust attitude, note it, go home, pay her (because you’re the mature adult) and don’t call her again. You don’t argue with a 15 year old or try and tell her to come over and talk face to face. You should have started by reaching out to her parents. Now you’re just the crazy people. ETA: Let me teach you how to handle this situation as an adult. “Sorry we’re late, sure I’ll pay the extra hour, sorry for the inconvenience.” and then NEVER use her services again. That’s how you don’t get your child left at home alone over $12 and find yourself arguing with a 15 year old. If she was truly that terrible on the phone, then reach out to the parents calmly.


BlueBirdOcean

15 is old enough to know NOT to leave a kid alone in a house. I started babysitting when I was 13, and knew that even then. I also put up with a lot of crappy, entitled behavior from a lot of parents, but 10 minutes isn’t a big deal, and demanding a full hour extra pay before she even knew how late they were really going to be was absurd. If 10 minutes was there much of a hardship, she should have done what I did when the parents told me they’d be home at 10pm and at 3am, I was still waiting for them - I called my mother and SHE was sitting there waiting for them when they finally rolled in at 4am.


Imukay

I thought it was illegal to leave a child alone?


BlueBirdOcean

And it’s especially illegal to leave a child under ten alone at night. Even more so than the day.


MCRemix

It is.


lovetheblazer

Of course 15 is old enough to know better in theory, but in practice? Eh, I’d still expect the assumedly 25-30+ year old parents to have more impulse control and restraint than a literal teenager. If I’m understanding u/This_Clock’s reply correctly, he/she isn’t saying that OP is an asshole for balking at the babysitter’s demanded fee for returning home 10 minutes late. They are just giving a practical suggestion re: how to handle things in the future to ensure OP doesn’t wind up with an abandoned child while using a new and unfamiliar babysitter. In other words, the babysitter shouldn’t have left at 10 pm when a young child was home alone. However, in the real world, it’s just not a good idea to quibble over $12 with a teen babysitter when the employee in question is still supervising your minor child and you are unpredictably running late. A safe, well supervised kid is worth eating that pittance, with an understanding that the babysitter is kind of an asshole (but again, still 15 years old and predictably less responsible) and not someone you should employ next time there’s a need for emergency childcare. Tl;dr: Being $12 poorer is infinitely preferable to pissing off the teenager who is solely responsible for supervising your seven year old child.


OroEnPaz13

That doesn't mean they can refuse to pay her for hours that she's already worked, whether or not they are happy with her work.


BlueBirdOcean

Actually, yes they can. Because if she had stayed she would’ve been paid. She left. She forfeited her pay. This isn’t a matter of being happy or unhappy with her performance. She left a child alone, and that is not legal.


OroEnPaz13

Hahahaha, there is no state in the US where not paying someone for hours that they have already worked is legal, whether or not the employee fulfilled their duties. You're completely and utterly incorrect, no matter your moral outrage.


clamkid

You also don’t leave a 7 year old in a house alone because you aren’t getting an extra hour’s work of pay that you’re not even doing. She is 15, not 5. In some parts of world, she’s old enough to start learning how to operate a vehicle. She can be mad about it all she wants to but actively make the decision to leave the child alone in the house, even if it’s just for 10 minutes, is not a remotely appropriate response. She shouldn’t be babysitting if she can’t keep her emotions in check.


TeddyBearPotat0

And Most babysitters do it for less an hour while it’s more work (maybe to children or during the day where the kids are awake more) and don’t care about 5-10 late without being called by op I read once about some staying for 4 extra hours no response from the parent they didn’t even pay that person afterwards because the dude had to go because he had school in the morning and it was getting close to mid migth so he called the police about child abandonment


Walter_Wangle

This is a ridiculous response and the whole reason so many young adults run around and act like this. A 15 year old who is actively looking for work needs to be able to effectively communicate with adults and understand that sometimes people may be held up by accidents etc. We use babysitters for our 4 year old a few times a year and will always tell them when we are likely to be home. If we were to get stuck in traffic on the way home, we would phone like OP did would not expect our sitter to lose their shit; Accidents happen and anybody working like this should have some ability to be flexible. 15 year olds are not little kids and are at a time in their development where proper adult communication is vital for their transition to upper teens and work/college.


Serious-Classroom139

I’ve been babysitting since I was 15 and I would never even DREAM of arguing about 10 minutes. I would also NEVER leave a child unattended. When I know I’m going to be babysitting, I don’t make plans for the night because shit like traffic happens. Not to mention, $14.50/hour is really good. Especially if the kid is sleeping for the majority of the time. OP did nothing wrong here that is an insane babysitter that should not be trusted again.


TeddyBearPotat0

Op did offer to pay for the extra amount of time but it didn’t sound like Anna did gave op time to think after op told her they would be late and just demanded it and even whent out of their way to pay Anna the agreed amount after she 1 abandoned their child 2 broke something in ops home that their child almost got hurt by without telling op that she broke it 3 just took an extra bag of chips while just leaving a 7 year old alone and probably not locking the door ops child could have gotten hurt or been in serious danger what if someone saw Anna leave without locking the door in a house where most lights are probably out And op was very mature op called Anna to let her know and offered to pay more for the extra time and anna just left because she didn’t get an hours of pay for sitting on a couch for ten more minutes


throwAWweddingwoe

100% this. I'd also add that I'd never have allowed a 15yr old I did not know babysit my child. If I knew them and understood their maturity level it's a different matter but when you ask a child to babysit your child and the child acts exactly like many 15yr olds than who is really at fault. Additionally if I was the parent of this 15yr old I wouldn't be letting her anywhere near either of you, your actions were inappropriate to her age


RoseTyler38

No. I used to work in customer service, and if I got a phone call that took me 15 mins past my usual end of shift time (a last minute work time extension, just like what happened in the OP), my employer is paying me for 15 extra mins not an extra hour. Why should the 15 yr old get paid extra just cause they don't understand how the work world works?


[deleted]

Lol you're absurd!!! Get off your high horse, richie. "Let me teach you". No... You're acting like 15 is 12. Hilarious.


Low-Aerie1917

Yeah I don’t get the going back and forth with a 15-year-old who was already clearly not happy. Even if you think you’re right that an extra hour is ridiculous, you’re solving and improving nothing by saying that in the moment.


Shadow_84

Would suggest talking to the girl who recommended her. She might like to know how the girl acted


EtainAingeal

And her reaction would determine whether she ever babysat for me either.


Due_Photograph9047

>She denied, insisting that we give her an additional $14.50. > >We arrived home and the house was empty. INFO: What happened in between these 2 things? Did she inform you she was leaving your house (and you left that out of your post)? Because it seems like a very jarring transition designed to omit something. Most people would've said "we told her we would discuss the rate when we got home", or "we told her absolutely no and she hung up". So what the hell happened? How did the call conclude?


BigTopJock

But you told her that “she’s not even watching our kid at this point” because the kid was asleep So if she wasn’t “working” according to you, then why did she need to be there?


ChiquitaBananaKush

Info: Did you really arrive home after 10 minutes? Everything else was so detailed but you never mentioned what time you reached home.


[deleted]

Next time try being responsible and putting your child first. You should at least meet and interview a babysitter then follow up by references. And know that if anything happens to your child when you decide to leave them in the care of another child that YOU ARE **LEGALLY** RESPONSIBLE! This is the law. Try some parenting classes.


OroEnPaz13

It's wildly illegal in the US to not pay someone for the hours that they have already worked, whether or not you are happy with their work.


[deleted]

NTA. 10000%. When I used to babysit as a younger teen, parents were late sometimes. Sometimes hours later than expected. It was never a huge deal, especially if the kids were already in bed. 10 minutes is NOTHING and I could not imagine demanding a whole extra hour's pay for that. You were completely right to not pay someone who literally abandoned your kid when she only had to wait 10 extra freaking minutes. She got 2 free bags of chips out of the deal, that's more than enough considering she also destroyed one of your belongings. This girl should not be babysitting at all if this is how she acts.


olligirl

I only babysat for people my mam knew when I was younger, small rural community. You kinda expected people to be half hour late, the roads around my home were chronic bad, accidents happened regularly. The one thing I'd always ask when they rang the home phone to let me know they would be late, was if it was after a certain time, could I have a lift home. Answer was always yes. But that might be a difference in growing up in a smaller Welsh community where everyone knows everyone and a good babysitter is valued,especially because it's likely your friends kid, people would always come home with take away food, they'd always bring you some and give you a lift home.


InfinMD

u/OP if not done already, make sure you let your regular babysitter know exactly what kind of babysitter this 15-year-old is. I personally think you were wrong to argue about this on the phone - should have just said we'll work out payment when we get home. But the babysitter has taken on responsibility for the child and is responsible for the child until they are relieved of their duty. If (god forbid) you guys had died en route home, would she just have left the kid? Probably - when a responsible babysitter would know to contact the emergency numbers or something like that. A babysitter who will leave a child unattended should not be sitting for ANYONE, and your regular (who recommended this kid) needs to know to never recommend this child to anyone ever again.


OpinionatedAussieGal

ESH Definitely Asking a 15 year old kid to talk to you about something face to face is pretty threatening! You for your attitude towards a 15 year old kid. Normal parents “I’m running late, I’ll compensate you for your time, I’m sorry” You “I’m not paying you, it’s ONLY 10 minutes. I’ll talk to you face to face about that” Her for leaving your kid. Though she is also a 15 year old kid who you basically just used threatening language at. So hers is a soft TA Yours is a hard TA by trying to rip off a 15 year old kid. Picking a fight with her. Forcing her to admit the kid was asleep. Forcing her to ask you for extra money. Forcing her to ask repeatedly for overtime pay when you are the one who is late. Saying “well she only had to interact with my kid for 30 minutes” - most babysitters are sitting sleeping kids. Filming a 15 year old kid. Adding that she took a packet of chips (from comment below). You pretty much used every tactic to bully and embarrass and push her into corners then said “you will discuss this face to face” The more I read your comments. The closer I’m getting to Y T A Edited - added last comments


learoit

Omg and the bag of chips comment? How entitled is that? And harassing her parents because they basically want an opportunity to berate her face to face? I feel like OP is leaving out some other info too. And wouldn’t be surprised if their regular trusted babysitter was unavailable for a reason


OpinionatedAussieGal

Also the camera on a 15 year old kid. Did they inform her they were recording her in their house!


learoit

Right and just noticed OP posted about this to like 3 or 4 different threads. Like if she really was ‘only 10mins away’ and her baby is such an Angel. What’s the big deal then? Truth is she was probably way longer than 10mins.


OpinionatedAussieGal

Yeah. She states she saw it was nearly 10pm and there was a big accident. Somehow she got through that big accident and got home by 10:10 after calling at 9:59 and having all those conversations re: baby in bed, not paying, babysitter screaming and ranting. So from this “nearly 10pm” phone call that covered a million things they got off the phone and the babysitter had decided to steal some chips and leave at 10pm. It just doesn’t read right with me


learoit

Also if as she claims, all she wanted to do is pay the babysitter for her time. Then why would the babysitter block her?


OpinionatedAussieGal

I know right. Because all kids block adults who want to give them money out of bad natured spite and not because those adults have made them feel threatened and scared.


learoit

And who drives to a concert. Deal with parking and comes home in 2 hrs with time to spare and show the babysitter around. I’m super skeptical. Like showing her around 30 mins, get there, park, go back to their car another 30-45 mins. So they only spent 15-30 mins at the concert???? Riiiight…


OpinionatedAussieGal

Hahahahaha. I know right! Most concerts is 35 minutes just to leave the damn car park not to mention the lines of people and getting through doors and walkways and people everywhere.


onepoundfeesh

The whole vibe of OPs post is off. The first few sentences are setting the stage to frame it in the realm of "my child's an angel, everyone agrees, so this is an extra reason why the babysitter is in the wrong." No chance they were just 10 mins late dealing with an accident AND post-concert traffic On top of that trying to justify that the babysitter only interacted with her child for 30 mins, another example of trying to coax people into agreeing with her and painting the sitter in the wrong. Half of the post is irrelevant to the actual question of being an asshole or not. Whole situation smells of BS


WhiteWolfSBLover

I have gone to a lot of concerts over the past couple years (pre covid) and ALWAYS drive there.. and usually leave a little before it ends so I don't have to deal with the nightmare of getting stuck in the traffic of everyone leaving at the end. And that's if it's a big venue. This could have just been a small local venue. (Been to those too, and will stay til the end bc I know getting out isn't going to be a problem.)


pet_sitter_123

Seriously, why are people being so weird about driving to a concert?


jimmy_three_shoes

The concert could have been a small gig at a bar, or a Christmas Concert at a church. Both of which wouldn't be much longer than an hour, 90 minutes at the most.


learoit

So 90 mins at best 60 mins, plus 30 mins to show the babysitter around travel parking. It’s cutting it pretty tight. As adults they should have thought what will we do if we’re late or had a contingency. Not try to finagle and bargain over $2.40. 40 cents makes all the difference. These are the type of people that tip exactly 10% down to the penny and have a slew of excuses why it is.


learoit

Also the parents didn’t have Venmo? She couldn’t pay to them?


OpinionatedAussieGal

But OP tried. She really did try to pay her! But hang on. She needs to hear my lecture first!


BlueBirdOcean

Was there an edit, because OP wrote that she called at 9:45pm. That’s reasonable for a 10 minute delay, and also plenty of time for back and forth before the babysitter took off.


GeorgeMTO

Can only see 2 threads with this for reference. One post about what would be a good subreddit for it, 2 here in AITA less than 2 minutes apart (bit weird but could've been lag) 1 of which is deleted, and 1 in r/amiwrong.


learoit

My bad, she clearly feels passionate about arguing with a 15 yr old over a $29 job, where she attended a concert for maybe 15mins of her timeline is correct.


BreadBoi-0

The story seems off but she offered to pay for the extra 10 minutes, and the 15y old left a 7y old alone. So NTA if OP is telling the truth.


learoit

She said that she would talk to them face to face first, then only she said she would have after the babysitter asked. And only after asking her if her daughter was sleeping and ‘she wasn’t doing anything anyway’. She offered $2.40, it’s so laughable, if you’ve ever had a baby sitter you know you don’t offer an extra $2.40 just in case you make it back at home in 10mins. I also highly doubt they made it back by 10mins. The whole story when you examine the timeline OP presents sounds like they went to all that effort to spend 15mins at a concert? It’s easy to claim that they really wanted to pay her now, but they can’t? To the point the girl has blocked them on Venmo? Babysitter probably has been burnt by parents like this. And they tried to harass and bully a 15 yr old for standing her boundaries.


Grimouire

If you believe we're getting the whole truth I have a bridge I'd love to sell you.


SufficientWay3663

Lmao. Nanny cams and such are normal. And regardless it could’ve been an outside camera. She said she saw her leave with a bag. Ring doorbell cam for example?


Crystal225

My gut feeling they are those entitled ahs who think sitting is easy job, and should not be so expensive. They didnt want to pay for the service so they went drama queen.


Key-Interaction7099

This annoyed me SO much it doesn't matter whether the kid is asleep! she's not a child minder she's a baby sitter they're meant to be asleep it's still her time that you're refusing to pay for. maybe she had somewhere to be or was worried about getting up early for something either way it's none of your business because it's HER TIME


polkadotfever

If she wasn’t really doing anything and therefore her time was worth nothing, her leaving shouldn’t matter. OP is definitely the asshole.


erin6767

This needs to be higher up! Cough up the extra $15 and never use her again


binzoma

this. I babysat as a kid. yeah of course people run late, it happens. but I get paid for the time I babysit, if you're running late thats your problem. I can have my own plans after. or just want to go to bed. tbh anna was an asshole but shes a justified one imo. OP is a clear asshole, and given anna is 15, I'm going to say YTA. if a grown ass adult is in an argument with a kid and they're both assholes, the adult is the asshole


fickit1time

These people are assholes


misof

ESH, with you being the bigger AH in the story. I really don't get the N T A votes defending you. * Sure, delays do happen. But from her reaction I'm pretty sure your deal with her was explicitly stated as "until ten". You have no idea what plans she made once she had the deal, or how your unplanned delay influenced her, and you did not care to ask. (E.g., would her transportation home still be available later? Would it cost her more to get home?) By being late *you* are inconveniencing *her*, *you* are the ones changing the deal, and offering to pay just the extra ten minutes is really the bare minimum. Her request was perhaps a bit too much, but overtime should pay extra as it's your fault you are late, not hers. * "We pointed out that she wasn't even watching our kid at this point" and "She only interacted our daughter for 30 minutes." is absolutely irrelevant and you were mentioning it just as a way to weasel out of paying her. You are not paying her to interact with your kid, you are paying her to be available. The payment for babysitting does not depend on how long the kid is awake. * She only took the extra bag of chips when leaving, i.e., when already upset by your refusal to pay her. I can fully understand her rationale at that moment. * She had literally no opportunity to tell you about the broken ornament (if she even was the one who broke it). * I don't believe you that you were indeed home at ten past ten. We all know what "we'll be ten minutes late" looks like. If she didn't have a reason for leaving other than spite, she was also an AH.


[deleted]

In fact insisting that she really wasn't doing anything means why should she have to stay if she only did 30 minutes of work. I think the girl was thinking "If they think I'm not doing anything then they don't mind me leaving then."


learoit

I would think the same, these are the type of people that really treat service staff like shit. And contribute to the child care crisis in this country. I 100% don’t believe they were back in 10mins. That whole exchange on the phone probably took 10mins!


This_Clock

Agreed YTA. You both acted like 15 year olds. And you’re cheap. Most I know who are late apologize and pay extra without the child needing to ask. I agree if she immediately said I need a full hour it’s distasteful, but she’s 15. I would’ve paid it and never used her again.


Pcolocoful

Labor laws in my country says that you get paid for the full hour for every started hour, so if your employer says you need to stay back for “ten minutes” you’ll be getting paid for the complete 60. Personally I think this was a fair ask by the babysitter, and if the OP and partner disagrees they can decide to find another next time.


SeattleTrashPanda

Well if she REALLY only interacted with the daughter for 30min OP is insinuating that the babysitter did nothing for the rest of the time. So that 10 minutes of leaving the kid alone couldn’t possibly have been that big of a deal. Since she did nothing. Also you feed the babysitter. My mom always had a babysitters basket of chips and snacks. OP is petty, cheap and a terrible boss. YTA


learoit

Not to mention everyone always says just 10mins that turns into longer. Anna has probably been burned by other entitled parents who refuse to pay her for her extra time because ‘you weren’t doing anything anyway’.


learoit

And if they were in a real traffic accident it doesn’t just clear up in 10mins. I’m also creeped out they videoed her and probably didn’t tell her? Then harassed her parents to ‘tell her off’ and give them a chance to berate her in person for about $29 Are they going to pay her for that extra face to face time? Nope no wonder they stopped responding.


Advanced-Extent-420

I’m with the ESH position with OP being very much the bigger AH as she’s an adult and everything she wrote screams of bullying and confrontational behavior with a 15 year old!! I want to tap on something that really stood out as you waxed poetic about how generous you are, etc. it appears you timed how much you had reserved the babysitter to the last second as you clearly had no interest in paying her anything more. WTH does that? Anytime I’ve had a sitter I worst case scenario’d how long I’d need them and I would communicate that with them. I’d continue to communicate our timing during the evening. On the way home “good news we should be home early. Looks like X time”. And never ever did I prorate down to the minute. If I’d planned for 3 hours and it was 2.5 hours, I paid the 3 hours BECAUSE my sitter had to block that time out of their schedule. Hey going to X event. We should be home by X time but let’s plan on X time just in case we get hung up somewhere. Depending on the event and distance to the event informs how much cushion I add. Granted the babysitter was wrong for leaving but after you acted towards her it seems clear she wanted no contact with you at all. I can’t really blame her. And honestly contacting the parents and still demanding to speak to her under the guise of paying her is creepy AF.


Miss-Mamba

ESH You were just being difficult towards her bc she was 15 and it really sounded like it was just a power move on your part She shouldn’t have left your kid alone but you shouldn’t have tried to nickel and dime a 15 year old over $15 and now gotten her parents (and strangers) involved just so you an validate yourself you’re not wrong but you’re still TA and so is your babysitter (but then again she’s only 15)


learoit

Oh no it was $14.50. You can tell these are nickel and dime people because who gives a 50 cent rate? She asked for 2 hrs she wants to pay $29 not even the full $30. That’s just cheap!


JexKnight

I know right, that’s so weird?! Who’s so cheap to not even round up to fifteen dollars? As well, they should have offered her at the very least five to ten dollars to stay later/ for the inconvenience (though personally I think most people give an estimation when they’re coming back, rather than set a specific time and budget for the extra compensation). It doesn’t justify her actions in leaving the child unattended, but still.


learoit

Not to mention when you examine OP’s timeline and the fact they only wanted to pay for 2 hrs, it’s very unlikely the events happened in that sequence. Bet they did not pay her for the ‘getting to know you and your daughter’ part with all the emergency details. That alone takes 30mins, then the driving, parking, venue, traffic accident. They spent 15mins at a concert?


JexKnight

Yeah, I think most people pay for an extra hour regardless/ in case stuff happens. I don’t think my sister has ever paid anyone less than fifty dollars, even if it’s just for a couple of hours.


learoit

If you think about it, this lady tried to offer someone an extra $2.40 to stay. Wow, why not just say I have a bag of returnables in the garage.


andthatswhathappened

Yeah it’s so weird this is so far down. They tried to do a power trip and they wanted to bring her in and humiliate her so she could get the money that she fairly earned.


learoit

That’s a pretty painful $29 to make. What cheapskates. Who even offers a rate with cents to a babysitter?


xfactorx99

That was the first indicator something was off about OP and the story. I caught the same thing right away


SlinkyMalinky20

I love how these stories of parents mistreating babysitters always start with how the child is a saint among children, *everyone says so*, and the sitter never has experience. I mean, it’s a 15 year old. You expect a full work history? If the person would not otherwise spend the time in your house, they deserve to be paid, no matter how easy you think your child is.


MamaUrsus

The more a parent emphasizes how much of an angel their child is the less I believe them.


learoit

And oh my baby neeeever wakes up, but hello she still had to be there.


CocklesTurnip

Right? The demon child I babysat that sent me to the hospital was “a perfect angel” and those parents didn’t pay me, my mom who finished babysitting for me after the demonspawn gave me an anaphylactic attack, or help with the hospital bill… they did badmouth me for leaving (I left my mom there to cover who has her masters in early childhood education) to tons of other parents so I lost babysitting gigs. I’m almost 40 and was likely 15 at the time and I’m still mad at those awful people. Meanwhile I got lectured at the hospital for waiting so long to come in, due to the delay of trying to reach the parents, other emergency contacts, and then calling my parents who weren’t home and had to rush to get to me. I’m sure if this Reddit existed way back then those parents would’ve posted “aita I didn’t pay teen baby sitter who abandoned my kid while babysitting.” Amazing how so many parents mistreat teen babysitters.


Crystal225

Entitled parents : my child is so perfect that i dont even want to pay my sitter casue her presence is pointless Also entitled parents: hey, where is the sitter


carolweigel

I’m a nanny and every time I see a job offer that starts with “I have a very calm and intelligent and nice child, he/she is such a sweetheart, you won’t have any problems” I run away. Also what OP said about “only interacted for 30 minutes” and “shes not doing anything” it’s a HUGE red flag. You’re paying for the person’s time. She could’ve been sleeping, studying, going to a friends house, anything, but you’re paying for her time to be there. I don’t have kids but I have a dog and every time I look for dog sitting I’m very clear: “she’s high energy, acts like a toddler and it’s a lot of work” because it’s the true and as much as I love my dog and think she’s a sweetheart I want the person to know anything about her to be able to provide a good care


[deleted]

ESH 1) You were late. She was contracted until 10 pm at the agreed upon rate. She told you that she is charging $14.50 to stay late. You refused. Therefore she has the right in theory to leave since you did not agree to her terms. YOU WERE LATE. She can change her terms. However, it is wrong to leave a child alone, so in reality, leaving was not okay. But she had every right to put a price on her time. In fact, most daycares do this. $1/minute late. 2) Who the hell nickels and dimes a babysitter with a $14.50 rate? You not rounding that to $15 tells me you are cheap AF. So what, you really had $29 to hand her after her 2 hours? Not an even $30? For 3 hours, you would seriously have paid $43.50 and not an even $45 or $50? I would have handed her a $50 with serious apologies for being late. 3) The other piece that tells me that YTA is thinking that she is only working if she is actively playing with your daughter. She was working the entire time she is there whether or not your kid is awake. As you may have noticed, she needed to be there. That means she was working. I would have been insanely offended if you told me that I was not working. ESH - but mostly you. You hired a child, were late, tried to nickle and dime said child, and got surprised when she made an immature decision (she's a CHILD). Drop off $50 to her house and let it go. ETA: I just re-read the OP. And changing my answer to YTA. You only agreed to even pay her the $2 extra after she was still "fuming" on the phone after you told her no to the extra hour of pay. You weren't even going to pay her for those 10 minutes!?! You're the asshole here. Stealing money from a child.


learoit

I also wonder if she’s being truthful about only needing her for 2 hrs. Anyone with a new babysitter knows it takes a good 20-30mins to go over everything. Then the whole concert, driving and parking. The way she focused on the chips! Even after she said ‘I was going to pay her’ CHEAP AF


[deleted]

Yes! This for sure! Going over where everything is, rules, emergency contacts, etc - plus time for the kid and babysitter to acclimate before leaving your kid with said stranger. And parking. And what concert is an hour long? I honestly don't even believe this story now that you've brought up those points. And yes - who cares if the kid took a bag of chips? When you hire a child, they are going to do childish things. And that includes creative revenge like ensuring compensation by taking snack food.


learoit

Omg and lining up to get in and get out. At best they got to enjoy 15-30mins of this ‘concert’. I just love the bag of chips is like this symbol of the worst thing this child has done. BUT THINK OF THE FAMILY SIZE PACK. NOW WITH 30% MORE.


[deleted]

Right? Like omg! Meanwhile OP is acting like a goddam saint for so generously offering the person keeping her child alive 2 whole extra dollars for being late. Good for the kid for taking the chips. I'm all for that petty revenge.


learoit

I mean I don’t believe the story went down the way she claims, but I can believe people like her exist lol.


[deleted]

I think she probably was a total ass on the phone to the child, and the sitter probably felt unsafe at some point so she chose to leave. All of this "we'll talk about it" in person stuff is super confrontational and I'm sure the babysitter felt intimidated and insulted.


learoit

Someone else pointed out that they probably threw in her face that they were watching her, while trying to stooge her on her rates already in some way. I mean no one offers 50cents as a rate who isn’t a nickel and dimer. Maybe even a little tipsy from their concert getting them extra belligerent. The fact her parents are even like no we’re good don’t need your money says something. Man imagine them watching that footage of her eating the chips. Oooooh look at her just ENJOYING her CHIPS. While our ANGEL sleeps!! Lazy lazy!


learoit

I probably would have casually clogged the toilet with a good old dump haha.


carolweigel

I had parents needing me for more than 2h just to go to dinner. I don’t get this timeline at all.


Catfactss

Yes, the fact she wasn't going to pay for those extra 10 minutes until the babysitter pushed it really established the YTA verdict for me.


dethmaul

What were they going to do, hand her a couple twenties and ask a kid for change? lol


[deleted]

Well, you stayed for 1 hour and 56 minutes. We owe you $28.0333. We'll be generous and round up to $28.04. 😅


naughtmyreelname

Right!? And who would watch a video of someone breaking an ornament and not cleaning it up, but then leave the shards on the ground until the next day and then claim that it’s the sitter’s fault that the child ALMOST injured themselves on it 🤣


NeeliSilverleaf

ESH. You hired a minor and she was immature. But trying to low-ball her when you were running late instead of being gracious and apologetic isn't much better.


PerturbedHamster

I agree with the ESH here. OP is sending out allll sorts of entitled vibes. "We apologized and asked if our daughter had woken up and bothered her at any point past her bedtime. " - this is relevant how? "we pointed out that she wasn't even watching our kid at this point" - irrelevant. You are paying her to make sure your daughter is safe, not to interact with her. "She only interacted our daughter for 30 minutes." Again, irrelevant. Anna is clearly TA for abandoning a baby and leaving glass shards around. But OP, you sound insufferable as well. Would you only pay a security guard for the time they are actively chasing criminals since they aren't "working" the rest of the time? I'm guessing you have not faithfully represented how your conversation with Anna went down. It doesn't excuse her abandoning your child, but I would bet Anna would give a very different description of what went down.


KittenBee95

So when you stay mate 10 minutes at work you expect to be paid a full hour ?


kiwigirlie

I pay my cleaner for the hour if she stays 15 mins late. It’s not about the money, it’s about letting her know we value her so that when we need her again she’ll be back


[deleted]

I haven't been a babysitter for close to 20 years now but even then I got fifteen dollars an hour and paid the full hour if the parents were running late. Honestly, I never even had to bring it up. They usually handed it to me while the apologized for being late.


OpinionatedAussieGal

OP also started the conversation with “we aren’t paying you for 10 minutes late” Rather than “hey we’re super sorry but….”


chiara348

I have never once been paid less than a round up hour rate for the courtesy of it. She should not have left your kid alone but your hard balling a 15year old.


[deleted]

The babysitter is an immature 15-year-old. OP is an adult who should know better. OP should have proactively offered a meaningful apology and some compensation (not a full hour) for making her wait longer than initially requested. The babysitter shouldn't have had to pull teeth to get anything out of OP.


two_lemons

Freelancing? Yes. If I have a meeting and they ran late, I am going to bill the full hour or at least half an hour. It's stupid to bill by the minute. If they have an emergency and they are super polite about it and it's not often, I might wave it. By the way, depending on the job I sometimes billed the time it took me to get there (and get back), especially if it was not really needed. I wasn't going to bill it like, hey, 53 minutes to arrive and then 1.17 to return home.


[deleted]

yes


erin6767

I am a nanny. While I wouldn't fight over not being paid for the full hour over 10-15 minutes you bet your ass I would NEVER sit for those patents again. If my time isn't worth an extra $15 then you don't have the resources to have a sitter


[deleted]

NTA. You can't control lateness due to car accidents. If I'm clocked into my hourly job and have to stay extra, I don't get a full entire extra hour. I get the literal exact amount I'm owed extra, which you offered. She completely Abandoned your child. And she broke an ornament...so yeah, that kinda voids paying her at all at this point.


ReceptionPuzzled1579

How is this NTA and not ESH? Yes babysitter was AH for being rude about the slight lateness, and by leaving the child, but OP is an AH for essentially trying to intimidate a 15year old by asking her to come to the house to get her money. And the way OP talks about the snacks, and insinuating she barely did any work since the child was asleep. If that’s the case then why are you upset she left your child, if time spent making sure there is someone with your child is not worth pay, then why be upset she left the child. All parties but the child suck.


Bri0345

Yeah and she was 15, probably had her parents blowing up her phone expecting to pick her up. If she were to lose her ride she might have to take an Uber, and she would get 0 compensation. Parent didn't even offer to give her a ride. And etiquette for babysitting/ nannying is much different than your 9-5. Late, means extra pay. Not down to the minute, extra pay. That babysitter is however old enough to clean up glass, and know it's illegal to leave a child alone like that. Parents are far worse though.


Due_Photograph9047

>I get the literal exact amount I'm owed extra, which you offered. People are missing out the fact that OP initially refused to pay anything at all for the overtime. She only relented and offered $2.40 after getting into an argument with the babysitter and undermining her job: >we pointed out that she wasn't even watching our kid at this point. She was still was fuming and we offered that if she really wanted, we could give her the equivalent for 10 minutes of her hourly wage (about $2.40).


[deleted]

ESH. She acted immature but she's fifteen. I kinda admire her for standing up for herself. It's really ridiculous how you keep insinuating she really didn't do anything and only interacted with your child for fifteen minutes and at the top had to say how your kid is so well behaved. It doesn't matter how well behaved your kid someone is taking their time to spend it with her. For money. You should have wanted to give her more for keeping her late and it's ridiculous you calculated how much ten minutes would be. If I stay late for my job I expect to be paid overtime. Also really petty for you to mention she ate a bag of chips. Yeah maybe she shouldn't have taken a bag home but probably by then she was probably being petty. It's not like she stole anything of value.


learoit

It’s no coincidence that they offer a rate that ends in 50cents then agrees to pay her for 2 hrs (if it really was that) only $29. They even too cheap to round up to $30z


SeattleTrashPanda

It’s so they can tip her that big fat $1 like big ol ballers.


learoit

$1 in Pennies. That’s gotta be worth something.


Spyderbeast

ESH No, Anna should not have left your child alone. But you were late and should have just paid the extra hour. No, she wasn't tactful about it, but she's 15 and you're not. I probably wouldn't hire her again because of her attitude, even if she had stayed.


Bazodee286

ESH I always tipped my sitters. And tipped them well. They are kids and we want them to come back usually. So in this case (I mean who does $14.50 an hour - why not $15) I would have called to say I was as running late. Generally I never gave my sitters a firm time - it was always like - this should be done around 9:30 - we will be home around 10-10:30 ish. Then I tended to round up. If we arrived before the half hour mark I’d pay for a rounded half hour slot and if we arrived after the half hour mark I’d round to the nearest hour. In this case I would have said traffic is unpredictable and let’s settle up when we actually get home and if you did in fact get home at 10:10 I’m thinking I would have offered $40-$45. I also used to make sure I had good snacks for the sitters to eat and made sure they let me know when they got home (yes I’m that mom) We’ve always had repeat sitters until they left for college - so my math rounding seemed to work for everyone. Anyway - it isn’t a binary choice. It wasn’t 10 mins vs 60. Babysitting is where kids are learning their business chops - you don’t need a down to the minute/down to the penny legal contract. They are mostly just kids. She was wrong to leave your kid unattended though.


OpinionatedAussieGal

Yes. This. I really don’t get all the N T As OP are not good bosses and sound super entitled


learoit

That was my thought exactly! Who offers $14.50. Like they’re too cheap to even round up to a full dollar. I also think who has their new sitter come, do the getting to know you dance, drive etc in under 2 hrs?


Bazodee286

Right? I feel like there was always an unwritten 3-4 hr minimum!


FerretAcrobatic4379

I clean houses, and the people in the big, fancy houses are the ones who often want to nickel and dime everything . They think because their houses are large, that you should be grateful for “”so many hours”, and thus, they try to negotiate a lower price with Less money per hour, than the middle class family in the three bedroom ranch house, driving average cars, pays per hour. Not all wealthy people are like this, of course, but many are. These same people also try to get you do things that not in the general realm of what most house cleaners do.


Hita-san-chan

The "14.50 is really good for around here!" struck me so hard of the rich fucks I used to nanny for. "You should be lucky we're paying this much. Its more than you'd normally get!" And yes, they nickel and dimed my pay to the minute


Fair-Butterfly9989

THIS was always my experience babysitting! I feel like I always got an extra hour or two worth of pay! And always came back to help the family whenever they needed it. And the snacks too.


gabbydearest91

NTA She lost all moral high ground when she abandoned your kid. You tried reaching out to pay her and didn't receive any word back. Likely her parents are embarrassed by what she did and are worried about any legal ramifications of her leaving the child she agreeded to care for alone. (*I don't know if there are legal charges that apply for what sounds like a small amount of time and she had an assumption of when you would get back, just that her parents might be worried about it) Do you know where she lives? Could you mail her the money? Also she did leave at ten, so I personally wouldn't be paying anything past the two hours of work, but just because your kid was asleep most of the time doesn't mean she wasn't there doing the job.


BigTopJock

Did she abandon the kid though? According to the parents “she wasn’t even watching our kid at this point” since the kid was asleep Kid was still asleep when the parents got home, so by their crappy logic the kid didn’t require any further watching Blame the parents for their crap logic they spewed to the babysitter, not the babysitter for abiding by their logic


Bizarre_Protuberance

You say she became angry *before* you refused to pay her for the third hour, but I have to be honest and say that I'm quite skeptical of the truthfulness of this part of the story. I think she asked if you would pay for a third hour, and you didn't want to, and *then* she became angry. Does that make her behaviour acceptable? Absolutely not: you can't leave a person's home with an unattended child, period. But something about this story just doesn't ring true to me.


learoit

YTA Just because your daughter was asleep doesn’t mean you didn’t need someone to be there. That persons time is money too. I feel there’s info missing, and you refused to pay her first. Then you contacted her parents I’m pretty sure she didn’t want your money because you guys are petty and cheap. She probably took the chips cause she was pissed. And omg she ate some chips. You would not be the first parents to be running late. And I think it’s reasonable for her to have asked to be paid more. If it really is a traffic accident you might not know if it’s 10mins that then turns into 30 then an hour. Her time is valuable too, and her parents probably didn’t respond cause why are you bothering them with your petty ass concerns. Edited to add I don’t think you were gone for only 2 hrs, that getting to know you dance with a new babysitter, the parking, a traffic accident, a concert. Who does all that to enjoy 15mins of a concert? And who offers to pay $14.50? Round up for God’s Sakes.


schroobster

ESH. The babysitter was childish in her response (if she had a strict curfew that should've been clear), and irresponsible (breaking something and not admitting, and leaving the kid). But you saying she's "doing nothing" and being pissed she left is (childishly and irresponsibly) pointing out the hypocrisy in your statement. And thinking you shouldn't pay her for extra time is also not great (it might not be worth a full hour but it is worth something).


learoit

And this is why there is a childcare crisis in this country. Because people like OP undervalue our carers and believe their time is worth nothing.


calamitybambi

ESH You were late, you owe her the entire additional hour. I don't break hourly pay down into increments because families are late. But, she should not have left the child home alone, that was severely negligent of her. She endangered your child. Tell your friends not to hire her (she endangered your child), much like she's telling her friends not to work for you (you tried to rip her off and devalue her time).


[deleted]

I think when you said she wasn't even watching her anymore since your kid hadn't gotten up to ask her anything she probably thought "well since you think I'm not watching her anymore might as well leave on time" because why would it be so horrible for her to leave if she isn't watching her any longer or need to do anything and that's why you insisted you didn't owe her a bit more money for her time.


fuzzypuppies1231

Yeah you both suck because she shouldn’t have left the kid but you were petty as hell and belittled the job she was doing


Reindeer-Street

ESH. She should not have left a child alone. However you should have just paid her the extra hour. Regardless of the level of interaction, having a child in your care (awake or asleep) is a big responsibility. If you weren't going to place any value on that (and where I'm from that's an extremely low hourly rate) then you can't be surprised that she went with a similar mentality and hence walked out.


[deleted]

>where I'm from that's an extremely low hourly rate) I haven't been a babysitter since 2008. Back then I was paid more than OP is offering as a base pay and then usually tipped or had an extra few bucks thrown on.


aenimos

I can't believe the not TA judgements when YTA obviously. She was under no obligation to stay for the extra time and it was YOUR fault that you couldn't get there before she had to leave. Traffic, etc. happens and you should have planned your time wisely so that you would not be late. Now YOU needed HER to stay for longer and decent people would have offered her the extra $15 themselves but instead of doing that you decided to be stingy and argue with a 15 year old. Over how much? FIFTEEN DOLLARS. Not to mention your weird comment about a literal child taking a bag of chips from your house after you told her it was ok to eat whatever she needed. You don't know her personal situation, you don't know if she had plans, transportation issues, etc. so for you to automatically assume that she would be able to stay longer - also find it hard to believe that it amounted to just 10 minutes - makes you TA instantly. Also, you're harping on about how she interacted with your child for only 30 minutes: you're paying her to babysit, not interact with your child. If you made her feel like you were paying her for the time spent interacting with your child, it's no wonder she took off when she needed to instead of staying longer and doing nothing according to your definition. Yes, she shouldn't have left the child unattended but she's a 15 year old kid for heaven's sake, and she was dealing with difficult, unreasonable, and entitled people. You should have paid her right then but you said no then later relented and demanded to meet her in person. What kind of teenager would feel comfortable meeting with adults who have already been unfair to them in the past? The money made from babysitting would not be worth the discomfort of dealing with you. And then you went and involved her parents in it without even knowing her family situation and if it would risk her safety in her home. You're definitely, definitely TA here.


katsmeow44

ESH. Though everything about your post paints you as June and Ward Cleaver and your child as Liquid Jesus, I'd be curious to hear how this shook down from Anna's POV. Yes, she was wrong for leaving the child, and I'm not going to excuse that with, "she's 15." Exactly. She's 15. She knows better. But I'll bet you the $14.50 you flexed over that she's had more than one parent tell her "we'll be there in 10 minutes" when they meant "10 minutes as measured in the third quarter of the Super Bowl." She broke the contract. You broke it first.


OpinionatedAussieGal

This ^^^^^^. OP writes about their complete June Cleaverishness. That’s what really struck me. OP has gone out of their way to paint the prettiest picture possible


TenderLightning

“Liquid Jesus” just made my whole week 😂


learoit

Dying at liquid Jesus. Bet OP was going to offer to tip $1 for their Angel.


Remarkable_Thing_607

$14.50 x 2 hours = $29 + $1 tip. $30 even! Yep , you may be on to something. But I could also picture them counting out 1 one dollar bills for $29 and not tipping.


Pleasant_Cold

YTA Do not try to justify stiffing her by making your kid sound like an angel, awake only 30 minutes and took some chips…fact is you stole 2 hours of her time. She shouldn’t have left your daughter alone but you made it sound like since your kid is sleeping Anna wasn’t working.


learoit

I bet it was more than 2 hrs too.


MarbyMeowser

ESH - I think you should have paid her for the extra hour; if an electrician came to your house and worked for 2h10min, they would charge you for the entire hour. The sitter sucks for leaving your child alone. You feel it’s unfair to pay for a complete hour as your child is ‘asleep’ and she didn’t have to do anything, yet you’re upset that she left. You’re paying for her presence, not for the amount of work involved. Next time you hire a new sitter, discuss the expectations in case you run late in advance.


andthatswhathappened

This is so logical I don’t understand why you’re getting down voted


learoit

BRB posting this to r/nanny and r/entitledparents for fun


Chad_McChadface

Results are in: not entitled parents, though kind of cheap, and babysitter absolute should NOT have left child alone


stalkedthrowaway2020

NTA, but mainly only bc she left a child alone. When watched kids it was very annoying when parents didn't come home on time, this being said if they at least warned me i didnt care as much but i was always paid at least half but normally for the full hour, so i do think you should have offered to pay a bit more, tho im to assume she was a little shit on the phone per her behavior. I think asking her to talk to you face to face for her pay isn't unreasonable at all. You didn't set out to do this and im assuming would have paid her that night *had she been there*.


ThunderFistChad

I think you're both assholes. If you employ someone to be there at a certain time and you end up requiring them to stay back you pay them for that time. End of story. For her. She shouldn't leave a seven year old unattended. But to be fair to her if you aren't going to pay her would you work for free? Taking advantage of her being in a vulnerable situation of not being able to safely leave your child to maintain a boundary she created and you ignored leaves you ultimately to blame. Now I don't know how the phone call went but you're an adult talking to a child you probably should have said "just stay we will sort pay out when we get home" ETA


[deleted]

YTA and double YTA for bringing up the petty not important things like chips and an stupid ornament, accidents happen. You guys really argued with a CHILD babysitting your child over $14.50! Having guaranteed child care until you for home wasn’t worth $14.50!? The sitter leaving was definitely not ok. But REALLY, you couldn’t pay $14.50 more so she’d stay?! She’s a freaking kid for God sakes. This is so pathetic.


ElectricBasket6

INFO: A lot of your comments are misdirection. The chips being eaten/taken, an ornament being broken these things happen when you hire teens. Your daughter being pleasant, her babysitter “only” interacting with her for 30 minutes- as soon as someone says crap like this I know they devalue my time. Your kid is not old enough to stay home alone therefore you need a babysitter- everything else is not applicable. The babysitter is definitely in the wrong for leaving a sleeping child- how did she get home? Is she with in walking distance to you? Did you discuss what would happen if you were late? Did she give a hard time she had to be home by? I feel like I’m leaning towards you being the asshole but only because there are some big gaps in your story while you seemed to include small details to make the 15 year old look bad.


SlinkyMalinky20

YTA. You stiffed a kid.


Goldendelixious

But she took a bag of chips. FAMILY sized! /s


Chantelauve

NTA At first I was considering cutting her some slack since she was 15Yo and might have strict parents and a strict curfew, but the fact that she left your sleeping daughter alone make her an AH at 15 you should know better than leave a kid alone in a house.


weddingcurmudgeon69

I can't believe you had the nerve to nickel and dime a child over this. Pay them the extra hour, YOU were the one who screwed up. YTA


[deleted]

YTA what broke behavior is this where you try to get out of paying after telling her she's not even watching the kid bc its sleeping


That_Contribution720

YTA ​ Pay her - you are the AH here. ​ YOU broke the deal: * You were late - SHE kept the contract. She did EXACTLY what you agreed on. * YOU did not pay her. ​ She is right never to work for you again, and tell all other possible babysitters you cheated her.


Water_Lilly_A

ESH She is 15, just give her the extra $14.50. You whole post sets up how “everyone says your daughter is an angel” so I already know going into any situation that you believe no one should ever complain about having to be around her. This 15 year old does not love your daughter like you do, she shouldn’t have to give up her time for free just because your daughter is great or asleep. She is wrong for leaving your daughter home alone but that kind of proves her point- your argument was “why do I need to pay you more? You’re not doing anything, my daughter is asleep”. If she wasn’t doing anything then why was she there? I take it if your daughter woke up with an emergency you would expect her to solve the problem, so the extra pay would only be available if something took place? All this to say, don’t piss off the people watching your child when you’re not there.


throwanon210

Question, do you not care about your children? Cause if you care about your children, you should pay for quality childcare. Your refusal to pay a late fee shows that the safety of your children is less important to you that a few dollars. And you have the audacity to be mad about a bag of chips after you told her you wouldn’t pay her late fee. I feel bad for your children - imagine your parents being more concerned about a bag of chips than about ensuring your babysitter is paid adequately so you can be cared for appropriately.


[deleted]

💯💯💯💯💯


Waskomsause

NTA - A soft NTA because she left your kid, got pissed that a traffic jam made you 10 minutes late, and demanded an extra hour of pay for 10 more minutes of sitting and waiting, not watching a kid. Not only that, but she took 2 bags of chips? You should tell her parents about this 100%, and if they don't care then report her and make sure people KNOW about this.


Talory09

Report her to who, exactly?


learoit

Right? My babysitter took a bag of chips. It’s so laughable


learoit

Not to mention OP just posted this like 5 billion times over $30. And the fact she didn’t get to berate a 15 yr old to show how superior she was? If she really was ‘only 10mins late’


weddingcurmudgeon69

CPS! Which then comes back right on you.


LittleGravitasIndeed

I’d let people on Nextdoor know. It’s a boomer site for complaining about car backfires and innocent coyotes on your lawn, but it’s the best place I can think of for disseminating information of this type. It’s not about the chips (though that was kind of weird), it’s about leaving the kid alone. People should be aware of who they’re hiring.


[deleted]

To start with, their regular babysitter who recommended her.


paulRosenthal

YTA. You can’t hire someone to do a job and then choose to not pay them after they do the job. If you’re not happy with how they did the job, then don’t hire them again. Abandoning your child was also clearly wrong but that is a separate issue.


Secret_Bunny_

YTA. First of all, under $15 for private childcare is a shit rate. I don’t need to know where you live. As a professional nanny, $15 is like, the bare minimum for what most of us accept. I charge even more for date nights. Also, so weird that you felt the need to tell the sitter that she wasn’t “technically watching your child”. If she’s at your house, she’s working. Let that process. If she is at your house and responsible for your child, ***she is working***. This was your fault. You could have booked an extra hour with the sitter. That’s what a well prepared adult would do. You were ***unprepared***, and ***late***, and instead of owning up to that mistake, you nickel and dimed someone, despite the fact that you were the one who didn’t hold up to your end of the agreement. As a childcare professional, after people are late, my rate triples. You show a lack of respect to other people’s time and that’s not acceptable. I do not really care that this person is 15. You don’t know what obligations or plans she did or did not have, that you screwed up by being late. In the future, do your part to make sure you are ***on time***. Getting stuck in traffic isn’t within your control, which is why you should have a buffer for yourself. When you try to be a cheapskate, these things happen. Private childcare is a luxury This is a skill of adulthood. As a parent of a 7 year old, it’s a skill that is long overdue. Also- humble yourself. You were in the wrong here and you should have been nothing but apologetic. The fact that you watched the security footage and felt that your sitter accidentally breaking an ornament and eating some chips was a prudent enough error for you to *include* them in your post is very telling. Your sitter could have reacted better, and she could have also done some things differently, but that doesn’t negate the fact that this issue was caused by something ***you*** did. Also, this should be a lesson learned in more than one way. In the future, If you are late, and your sitter has something she really can’t miss, and you can’t produce stand in childcare, you could get in serious legal trouble. As a sitter or nanny, if your charge’s parents or guardians do not relieve you of your duties at the expected and agreed upon time, and you are unable to stay or have stand in childcare quickly pick up the slack, then you have no choice but to call emergency services and report an unattended child, which could get you as parents in trouble with CPS. That’s on the extreme end of possibilities for being tardy but no reputable childcare professional will leave a child unattended.


[deleted]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 This x1000.


Sea-Grapefruit5561

ESH. She should obviously not have left your child at all. But - you were the adult here and you handled this really poorly. When you called and said you’d be late, the reasonable thing would have been to apologize profusely, ask if that would work for her (and if not, how you could help - call a neighbor to step in, arrange her transportation, etc.), and of course offered to compensate for the extra hour for the inconvenience/“overtime”. Your commentary about how she wasn’t really “watching” her (the job you hired her for at that rate was just to be present while the your kid is sleeping) and pointing out the snacks and ornament make you seem like the asshole client.


learoit

Can’t get over her griping about the chips, posting, everywhere, harassing her parents. All for $29. Maybe the kid is an Angel but mama sure isn’t


rachw39

She left your child alone when she didn’t really know what time you’d be home…?! Yeah of course you could pay her the rate for the two hours she was there ( if you could get in touch with her of course!) but I just can’t get over someone leaving a child alone like that…


Bea3ce

YTA If I had been 10min late, I would have offered the full hour extra wages straight away, without her prompting it. You acted cheap. Her taking the bag of chips and going away before the time, was obviously her way of getting her 10min worth of money. "I'LL SHOW THEM!" An adult would (probably) not have done it, and not even have thought that it was worth fighting over 15$. Bit that's what she is. A kid. An average kid, with a bit of a temper (not the "very responsible" kind). And that's why I deal with adults and not with teenagers. She threw a tantrum. I would have expected it of an average teenager. I wouldn't trust one with my 7yo.


linzer-beam

ESH. she did still provide a service to you and you should have paid her. I totally understand your reaction. She is also the AH because wow, leaving should not have been an option in her mind, in addition to the other disrespectful behavior (chips and ornament). Her behavior is expected for a 15 year old, but not acceptable if that makes sense. Definitely don’t ever hire someone under 18, hell even 21, for the future if you can. (Edited: updated verdict)


[deleted]

If you believe they were both TA then your vote should be ESH


[deleted]

I know this is going to be unpopular opinion but I say ESH Yes, she did wrong leaving the kid there alone but in the end she was there during the time you had agreed to, so she is entitled to get payment for the time she WAS there, just like I am entitled to get my hourly wage from the time I spend in work. You propably didn't have written contract but if you don't pay at all this is basically same as employer refusing to pay if employee isn't able to work overtime. As for the broken ornament and bag of chips, taking part of her pay for that would be understandable but denying pay completely would be just TA move.


unsocial_butterfly79

ESH. You for refusing to pay a meager 14.50 to a 15 yo when it is you who require her work - she calls the shots. And her for leaving the kid by herself - isn't that a crime (besides the obvious danger and irresponsability)?


routine_change09

YTA


Petty25betty

YTA. She watched your kid for more than 30 minutes. The initial hourly rate was cheap. Daycares charge$$$ when you’re late. 14 bucks was minimal.


[deleted]

The question had nothing to do with the rate they were offering. Considering she took two full family sized bags of chips, broke an ornament and almost injured their kid as a result, only to leave the kid completely alone at the end of the night, I'd say she earned exactly as much as she deserved to.


[deleted]

Be sure to let your regular sitter know so she doesn’t recommend her again.


tothecryptosphere

So many reasons why YTA I can't be bothered to list them all.


Catfactss

"She wasn't even watching the kid at this point." "If she REALLY wanted to we'd give the equivalent of 10 mins of the hourly rate." Ok so the work she was doing between 10pm and 10:10pm was or wasn't important? Because apparently it wasn't important enough to pay unless she pushed for it, but it's also a huge deal that she didn't do it? YTA. I mean she kind of is too but you are more so.


[deleted]

NTA. Need to warn other parents in the area that may consider her for babysitting.


HippopotamusFart

NTA. Abandoning a child is inexcusable.


[deleted]

ESH She's a sucky babysitter, but she still babysat your kid and deserves to be paid for that. Once she's broke again she'll have to sit and think about how she cost herself a job by being irresponsible. Not paying her at all would be very childish on your part and make you TA. Don't get me wrong, that kid was wrong for leaving the child alone, but she has a right to be paid for her work.


ViolaVetch75

YTA for quibbling about this, and constantly harping on whether or not she was interacting with your child. Babysitting is about having adult supervision regardless of whether the child is awake, and if it really wasn't a big deal for her to be there if your child wasn't awake (as you kept saying) and it was ONLY ten minutes then how can you complain about her leaving? If you had apologised, respected her time, and agreed to pay the extra hour (IT WAS NOT HER FAULT YOU WERE CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC) then she would not have left. She only did it after you refused to pay extra, tried to minimise the significance of what you were asking of her, and even said she wasn't watching your child (because she was asleep). Walking out wasn't cool of her, but I can see why she was so frustrated with you, and you absolutely owe her for the hours she worked. She didn't leave your child unsupervised for hours, she did it for the ten minutes YOU kept telling her weren't important, and weren't worth paying more than $2.40 for. Next time, show a little more respect for your employee.


Longjumping_Bite6756

You might not be an asshole, even though I kind of think you are. Of course you should have just paid the hour for the inconvenience. I would have thrown her at least a $20. But your real crime is stupidity. Why were you even arguing with her over the phone. This is an immature 15-year-old that you have entrusted with the well being of your child. This is as dumb as ordering at a restaurant and then telling the cook you fucked his fat mother. Unless you wanted extra spit in your food, the only person you hurt was yourself. You should consider that next time your extreme cheapness and miserness wants to come out and your child is involved.


kyeesmeralda

Y’all are both the assholes here. 1. She left your child but she also is a child herself. Immature and not thinking through her actions 2. 14.50?! Y’all paying her $29 and couldn’t just give her $43?! When I used to babysit I had a minimum number of hours regardless of the hour many you actually needed. Late? Charged by the minute. No one complained


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allg00dnamesaregone

ESH Pay her the 2hrs that you owe her and never use her services again. The end.


Chariesa

ESH - she was owed the extra hour - that's how it works. But she left your child?!


dedeenxo

ESH. But the part that bugs me is where you keep saying she only interacted with your kid for 30 mins, as if that justifies not wanting to pay her extra. Does that even matter? I mean, if your daughter is awake or sleeping, she still needs a sitter to be there. It’s weird that you make it seem like the 30 mins is the only time that’s worth paying.


Far_Suggestion_6263

When I was a teen that babysat I always assumed there was a possibility parents might run late which they often did. I did expect to be paid for partial hours at a partial amount. I did have one set of parents not understand why they needed to pay me for the time their child was sleeping. But that's not what's going on here. It's ridiculous to expect to be paid for a full hour for 10 minutes of work. Prorated amount was very fair. I promise there are other more responsible 15 year olds. Unfortunately this one was not a good representative.


[deleted]

ESH did she know she was being filmed? She should've been calm when told 10 minutes late, but she has the right to ask for overtime, not a whole hour but you as the adults in this situation should've automatically offered that rather than expecting a 15 year old to bring it up or just not pay her that time. she broke things and left them in a dangerous position for the kid and left them alone which are both unforgivable, but you have harassed a 15 year old kid and your insistence on seeing her fact to face would be threatening to me as a woman in my 20s let alone a 15 year old. You said reluctantly which implies you pushed so I imagine the tone of that call became pretty heated and threatening too. Then you went to her parents and are going to judge them based on their reaction to the people that their daughter probably told them were very threatening and aggressive towards. truly everyone in this situation sucks.


SurfingDumbledore

YTA you should still have paid her for the 2 hours she worked.


Goldendelixious

YTA I hope she tells every teen in town what you pulled on her. Did she even know you were filming her? That is creepy and disgusting.


National-Ad-5645

YTA - you refused to pay her past 10 pm and she left. Was saving the $15 worth having your daughter unsupervised? This post is definitely missing some information and I bet it tilts more to the babysitters side in reality.


Kitsuneanima

I feel like something is missing from the story. Especially since the babysitter decided to forgo $29. Also bold of the OP to assume that the 15 year old’s time is worthless. Was she expecting a ride to pick her up, was someone else going to be inconvenienced by the OP being late?