Vancouver is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Easily the worst dating scene I've ever seen anywhere I've lived.
Nunavut was probably the easiest place I've lived when it comes to dating. It helps being an outsider in a town where 90% of people grew up together, and many of them are related, so they have a limited dating pool.
lol, so in Iceland there’s an app to see if you’re related to someone. Because it’s hard to find someone who isn’t.
I had a friend who went there for a few months, I told him about this - lol, he knew all about this app and strongly implied that going there and having zero chance of being related to any of the women was a very good situation.
Edit - source
https://theculturetrip.com/europe/iceland/articles/iceland-is-so-small-theres-an-app-that-keeps-icelanders-from-dating-their-relatives
Can’t reply to the comment saying this isn’t true, so here 🎤
Ha, someone from Nunavut chatted me up at the airport. At that hour of day, it was a 1/4 chance I was going to Nunavut too. I now have her number. Got tickets for later this year.
I’ve been in Nova Scotia my entire life. I’ve seen it go from decent to live in to hard to live in for people from here in that time. Part of this is Social and Dating culture. We only really have kids under 19 and University Students around here generally not counting people who have tried to stay but ended up leaving because it’s just so dismal in an energy sense. For me specifically as an Autistic Woman it’s unsafe to go out because of people around and also sensory sensitivity. I’ve never been out to a bar or club at night for said reason. Dating as a disabled person is hard regardless where you are but in a small city where you know more of the people you grew up with than knew you as a person it’s hard to be friendly and date. People around here even if you’re one of them (a Nova Scotian) if you’ve got a different take on how things are than how people are comfy seeing it then they discard you like a Donair wrapper on the street in the early hours of a Sunday morning.
I don’t agree, been living here for 2.5 and had tons of success and im not that good looking or rich, you have to be out there. Overall i like Vancouver
Vancouver is hard to break into to be a friend, much less a lover. They’re very into their high school clique. Toronto is hard cuz it’s a big fast city, but friendly and you can meet people.
I think Vancouver really does have a bit of a Seattle freeze element to it. It’s not even just highschool cliques because even at university if people find their clique, they end up sticking to it.
I think part of it is that there really is a surface level amount of interaction. It’s a line between politeness and friendliness, I guess.
I agree about Vancouver, loneliest place I ever lived. But, I don't think it's a highschool clique thing. There are so many people there from all over Canada and the world. I don't have a better theory though...
I've lived in Vancouver over 20 years, I know very few people who actually grew up here.
But yeah it's very cliquey.
That being said I've built a really great social group community here. I love it but can't speak to the dating aspect as I've been partnered up the whole time.
I can relate. I moved to Vancouver and had a solid social circle within the first 10 months - they were even locals, which makes my scenario even more rare.
Also your user name rules.
Luckily I met my wife before we visited Malaysia, but her cousins were all super choosy about who they dated and the one is in her late 20s now and still has never been on a date, I feel bad for them there.
Everyone I’ve talked to said Vancouver is much much harder than Toronto. Toronto is full of new people looking for a partner and generally friendlier or at the very least it’s a chattier place.
That'l be Vancouver hands down LOL.
i gave up on dating altogether couple years ago.... its rare to find someone that is actually capable of having a committed relationship.. and when you do find them, they are already taken by someone else --.--
Single for life YOLO lol
Steinbach, Manitoba. Often considered one of the most religious cities in Canada, has a population of less than 18,000, lacks any semblance of cultural diversity, and is low on 'third spaces' that are conducive to meeting people.
I know many people who complain about dating in Vancouver and Toronto. If you think that's bad, try rural Manitoba!
Mennonites typically date other Mennonites or Christians. Most of the people I know that married young were religious, and they all met through church. They all typically met through youth group or young adults activities.
> most religious cities in Canada
> is low on 'third spaces' that are conducive to meeting people
In a place like that the churches kinda are the third spaces in town.
Can confirm. I live in a town in close proximity to Steinbach, many people I know from there married young and to someone within the church. If you’re a >25 non religious single you’re going to stay that way
Yea Steinbach can be difficult enough to find a partner if you are straight. If you are a member of the lgbtq community, you will get run out of town by the locals (I know of 3 people this has happened to).
Newfoundland dating scene basically doesn’t exist. It takes like 10 minutes max to swipe through everyone on tinder, and it’s the exact same few faces on all the apps. It’s horrible here.
Everywhere in canada, it’s the culture, very individualistic, no one wants to bother other people and they fear sexual harassment.
I’m a lucky man because dating apps work for me, but for the majority of men it’s loneliness and no one gives a fuck about your existence.
I can understand the fear there, that would add even more pressure onto everything else we fear when trying to meet people. But I also feel that loneliness, it feels like everybody is constantly just minding their business and wants nothing to do with meeting new people.
I moved for school, and thought I would meet people in college. Nope, not really. Everyone is silent during lectures and the second it's over immediately evacuates. I've met a few through clubs and stuff but nothing serious. I haven't tried the apps, been too scared, but perhaps I should. Doesn't seem to be working any other way!
As someone who's in a rather *extreme* dating niche, the attitude that big cities aren't where you should be dating is hilarious to me.
The smaller the city, the smaller that minority is, the smaller the dating scene is, the harder it is to find a partner. Full stop.
For me, that was Prince George, over 20 years ago. I literally moved to big, expensive Vancouver for that reason. That, and there was no way in hell that I could find a job in IT. I've changed careers, making it more feasible, but I still won't move there because dating is so hard in small communities.
Not OP, but I'm childfree and it's a fucking nightmare trying to find matches, especially if you don't live in a big city. I signed up for a few online dating sites eight years ago and there were like 4 childfree men in a 200 mile radius (biggest city included is Winnipeg). I think CF has become a bit more mainstream since then, but I already gave up on dating long ago.
"Childfree" means "isn't going to have children" not "doesn't yet have children."
What on Earth would make you think that the previous poster was being held back by not being a single mom?
Oh fuck off. I've been childfree for thirteen years. I am not changing my mind. I'm not interested in single dads and their baggage. I'm not interested in being pushed into a childcaring role or dealing with baby mama drama. And I'm certainly not interested in creating my own child.
Fuck. I got so much of this shit on the dating websites, too. "You're not a real woman!" "You're broken if you don't want kids!!!" "I'll change your mind! You'll definitely want to have MY babies!" "You're probably a closeted lesbian." People like you are disgusting.
Heh.
I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and kinky. And 48.
Outsiders think that means I get to fuck everyone. In reality, it's the exact opposite. It's extremely limiting. Nobody outside the ENM community wants to date someone like me.
Also, dating partners are primarily determined through proximity (much like friends). If you live in a larger city, you have a greater probability/chance of meeting someone.
Whether that person will be someone you want to meet on the other hand… that’s a different story
The person above you made a compelling argument about how there are simply more people in larger cities, making it more likely to find somebody compatible with you, especially if you are looking for something niche.
Can you explain why you find it harder in big cities? I'm trying to wrap my head around why that could be. Higher standards or something?
I never had a problem dating in Vancouver but I can see and understand how someone can say it's harder. As a guy, it seemed as if numbers were stacked against me at times where there were so many people all going after a limited amount of other people that it could seem impossible at times to stand out and be noticed even though there's a large amount of people, all of whom are looking for the same thing(well....not all...but I think you can see what I'm trying to say?). Would feel like you're striking out over and over again and at some point you just stop putting in the effort. Basically the more people the more competitive it can be as you're no longer that rare diamond but merely a pebble on a beach now.
I’ve lived in Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal.
Toughest would probably be Vancouver. Hustle culture is big there, likely because of cost of living. People simply didn’t have much time to allocate out side their jobs or professions. People were very direct and firm on expectations. Felt more like a job interview than dating in a lot of cases.
Best, probably Montreal. The people felt more laid back in general. Also, it’s very culturally diverse. People from all walks of life. It felt more interesting meeting people because the focus of conversation didn’t typically revolve around money or status but rather; hobbies, interests and aspirations etc. The great night life also helps and imo; Montreal has the most beautiful people.
Toronto was of a mix of the two. It’s the place i lived the least amount of time so I don’t have a strong opinion. City was big and its people were fast. Similar vibe to Montreal in a sense just a different culture.
Vancouver and it isn’t even close.
I would routinely travel and get way more matches anywhere else I went. When I moved to Calgary, I ended up going on more dates in 2-3 months than I did in years of trying in Vancouver, and ultimately found my partner.
I doubt this is the worst, but I am in Windsor rn and beause of the close proximity to Detroit, the dating apps mix all of the Americans and Canadians together. It’s such a pain trying to figure out who lives in Canada vs the US and it gets expensive real fast having to pay to cross back and forth (about $20), which adds up if you wanna see your SO multiple times a week.
Vancouver and not just dating, but socializing and making friends
You'd find more culture and life in a drop of sink bacteria than you would in all of Vancouver.
Vancouver people like to make digs about Toronto, but every time I've been out east I have a good time and the people are great.
It’s a meme from a news article about some 30+ women from Ontario that was able to buy a beautiful home in Edmonton but ended up going back to Ontario and renting a shitty apartment because everyone her age was married and there wasn’t enough night clubs… absolute clown lmao
Canada in general is a very hard place to make friends, never mind anything more. I've live in Mississauga, Toronto, and now London. I used to think that Toronto was the bottom until I moved to London. In fact, I'm moving back to Toronto ASAP, can't take one more day in London, Ontario. Mississauga was even worse, it's a sad, cold, minefield.
I don’t think Canada is hard to make friends. I’ve lived across the country and made friends everywhere I went and still are friends. It’s your location
Precisely this. Do you have something to offer? Are you a good conversationalist? Do you take care of yourself? Job, ambition, don't live with your parents? If you want to date, you need to put some effort into yourself.
I can't speak to what the toughest is. However, as a queer person, I find the options in Saskatoon to be next to none.
I've found it impossible to find another queer person who is similar aged and monogamous.
Saskatoon is so small that your options are extremely limited if you are gay.
The biggest problem dating in the western world is, we all try to act like we’re not interested in the person even if we are. Maybe that gives us some validation.
This is why I find this type of question hilarious. If you ask someone "which city has the worst dating culture" they'll almost certainly just say the city they live in. It's the same phenomenon as when people claim "X city has the worst drivers" where X is the city they happen to live in.
Absolutely.
I’d say Vancouver is worse than Toronto for dating, having lived in both places. For one thing, I found the response rates on the apps far lower in Vancouver than I did in Toronto.
Toronto was still tough but at least I got a few dates there. I’ve completely given up on meeting anyone in Vancouver for the purpose of dating. But I’m still happy with Vancouver overall, there’s many other good things about living there for me and I can be generally happy single there.
The one and only person who I met on a dating app in Vancouver spent part of the second date complaining about having to work with Indian people in Surrey. So that was a no from me. (It also explained why she was in her late 30s and had never been on a second date before me)
That’s a good point, I doubt a single human could accomplish the needed sample size in each city to truly get a measure. One possible way to quantify this might be using app data and counting the number of unique user ids that everyone replies to maybe measure the number of messages sent out as well. The fewer the replies (maybe as a function of sent message count) the tougher the online dating scene.
Superficial factors go into overdrive in ocean cities because of the beach culture. Every person peacocks in minimal clothing which raises the stakes.
I've lived in various cities throughout Canada. For both men and women, the pressure shift to be fit between coastal vs. landlocked big cities is palpable.
I don't know if Canada really has any "beach culture" cities like America has with Miami or Malibu.
Most Torontonians don't interact with the waterfront on an everage day/week/month. The east and west coast beaches are cold, rugged oceans. Maybe Tofino or White Rock is an exemption.
Our "beach towns" are more like lake towns. Wasaga Beach, Port Dover, Muskoka Lakes etc as Ontario examples.
It'll be smaller towns with low genetic diversity, hard to date when you're related to everyone, or worse still, imagine being the only gay guy in your tribe on a remote Inuit village? No dating options at all.
Looking at the comments here, it seems Vancouver's rough. I can't say anything about it as I don't live there; as a Torontonian, I'll just say that our city feels like a pub/bar: you'll meet some of the most diverse group of people, from all walks of life & nationalities, with the wildest ranges of belief systems, all competing and running on the same rat race wheel of misery. And everyone's either a banker, lawyer, real estate, or IT. Not for the faintest of hearts & everyone's just each other's backup boyfriend/girlfriend/fwb/ENM partner/whatever term you want to call: easy come, easy go. Reminds me of NYC/downtown LA in a sense actually.
Victoria was tough, everyone wants one night stands and its very hard to get into a click. Took me 2 years of being there to start making friends, and I'm a very sociable person.
Edmonton is a dating gong show. Lots of entitlement and snobbery. I've heard it gets easier out east, but the only times I've been there I was already married.
I feel like for certain reasons Halifax does because compared to other Major Cities in Canada it’s definitely much smaller population wise. In that point your degrees of Separation from exes or people who are varying levels of connected to exes or even people you know that maybe you’re not all that close to that you might not want to view past the odd Instagram post is much easier. I’m speaking as someone who is and has been trying to date in Halifax for a while. As someone who strives to not make the same choices in dating it’s hard in a smaller place where most people at the very least have an idea of who your ex or non connections might be.
Montreal, for sure. There are a lot of long-lasting divisions there between different language and ethnic groups. The people there definitely stick to their cliques more than elsewhere. It's not the kind of place you can do something spontaneous with a stranger and enjoy yourself. When I left, life and fun just felt so much simpler. I didn't have to always be aware of where I stand socially in terms of language, ethnicity, race, and class the way I did in Montreal. It was so exhausting. Montreal is also not as sexually open as it seems. People there are surprisingly prudish once you get to know them. Their minds are sexual, but their bodies haven't caught up. It's like they are still in the rebellious phase against the stronghold the church had over Quebec, but they still haven't found out how to genuinely be comfortable in their sexuality. I can see why sex work is a big thing there, because they need to turn to professionals since they struggle when it comes to having sex with each other.
I have lots of friends from Vancouver in Toronto now, who confirmed this… They don’t even bother going home to visit unless they have family still alive…Because the friend circle is so tiny and if you move away you’re disowned by the few high schoolers who stayed behind. So weird.
Not just Victoria, but I'll argue the whole Island. Especially the entitled French Hippies that live out of converted buses in communes are a nightmare to deal with outside of a FwB or one nighter...
Montreal. For sure. On top of being a sexually open and diverse city; the politics of language, ethnicity, and social class all weigh out in a way I’ve never seen elsewhere.
Known many couples who didn’t make it for these reasons…
Just my 2 cents though…
It’s rich for sure. No doubt. I just mean you hear a lot of no for a lot of reasons that are unique to Montreal.
I root for couples to make it, and like you said; we see pairings in Montreal that feel rare. But the earliest stages feel really challenging in the 514.
Always had an easy time dating a very diverse variety of folks in Montreal. Great fun to be had here. I think it's very personal experience, but saying Montreal is the worst for dating... I cannot get behind that statement at all, even looking at my friends. The ones who really had a hard time with dating were the ones with boatloads of issues to sort through that really weren't ready for dating.
I live in mtl and I agree. It’s easy to find a date but nobody want to be in a relationship. It’s like the majority of people are non monogamous lol but I’m from a small town and the majority of people from my ages have kids and it’s not my type at all
I find this hard to believe, when I was in Winnipeg for vacation, I was getting matches left and right on tinder/bumble compared to Edmonton with like 1 match per week. Maybe its just the dating apps
People who are saying Vancouver have never tried dating in Halifax.
At least people in Vancouver go out, Halifax is constantly dead and extremely difficult to find friends let alone date if you’re over 25.
People in Vancouver seem happy to be there; Halifax has this pervading sense of depression, anger, and dread in its social life that extends into the dating scene.
Big yes to this as someone who’s seen it coming for years that I would not be good to stay here I couldn’t agree more about the energy of this City. I’m going on 27 and consider it a lucky thing I’ve found someone half decent who doesn’t waste both our time around here. But people who want the same things of life generally find eachother. If you have foresight to want to leave find someone like that which is hard around here because fuck religious guilt Family guilt is huge here.
Jfc. That’s shocking to be honest. I’m so sorry that’s the case.
If it makes you feel better, at least you’re in a good city.
It’s garbage in Saskatchewan (rural and “urban”).
It’s a combination of urban sprawl and less selection; i.e., fewer people and more spread out. Add kinks and preferences and other compatibility factors, and the prospect of finding someone one clicks with plummets.
I’d venture to say any rural or smaller commmunites. Conversely, I can also see those communities being the opposite of tough too…
I’d say either extreme (large and small communities) probably have a lot of difficulties associated with regard to dating.
I live in a town that’s large but not a major city such as Toronto or Vancouver. It’s tough here too.
It’s tough everywhere probably, but that also depends on what you define as a “tough dating culture”? . Dating in 2024 can be a hellscape at times.
Total outlier, but my finace and I met in Castlegar. Neither of us are from there, we were both working student summer positions at the Mill. He’s the only good thing I got out of that awful place.
Vancouver is horrible. Absolutely horrible. Easily the worst dating scene I've ever seen anywhere I've lived. Nunavut was probably the easiest place I've lived when it comes to dating. It helps being an outsider in a town where 90% of people grew up together, and many of them are related, so they have a limited dating pool.
Nunavut for sure. Lots of aunties looking for love lol
Road tripping that way then lmao
lol, so in Iceland there’s an app to see if you’re related to someone. Because it’s hard to find someone who isn’t. I had a friend who went there for a few months, I told him about this - lol, he knew all about this app and strongly implied that going there and having zero chance of being related to any of the women was a very good situation. Edit - source https://theculturetrip.com/europe/iceland/articles/iceland-is-so-small-theres-an-app-that-keeps-icelanders-from-dating-their-relatives Can’t reply to the comment saying this isn’t true, so here 🎤
Cape Breton should have that app😂😂😂
Ha, someone from Nunavut chatted me up at the airport. At that hour of day, it was a 1/4 chance I was going to Nunavut too. I now have her number. Got tickets for later this year.
Not wrong, can't afford to live here, can't afford to date.
I’ve been in Nova Scotia my entire life. I’ve seen it go from decent to live in to hard to live in for people from here in that time. Part of this is Social and Dating culture. We only really have kids under 19 and University Students around here generally not counting people who have tried to stay but ended up leaving because it’s just so dismal in an energy sense. For me specifically as an Autistic Woman it’s unsafe to go out because of people around and also sensory sensitivity. I’ve never been out to a bar or club at night for said reason. Dating as a disabled person is hard regardless where you are but in a small city where you know more of the people you grew up with than knew you as a person it’s hard to be friendly and date. People around here even if you’re one of them (a Nova Scotian) if you’ve got a different take on how things are than how people are comfy seeing it then they discard you like a Donair wrapper on the street in the early hours of a Sunday morning.
What about shrinkage, though?
Iceland is actually green. Greenland is more icy.
Not a problem if everyone has it.
Yup
I don’t agree, been living here for 2.5 and had tons of success and im not that good looking or rich, you have to be out there. Overall i like Vancouver
Having lived in 5 provinces & territories, Vancouver has the worst dating scene by far - it’s not even close.
Vancouver is hard to break into to be a friend, much less a lover. They’re very into their high school clique. Toronto is hard cuz it’s a big fast city, but friendly and you can meet people.
I think Vancouver really does have a bit of a Seattle freeze element to it. It’s not even just highschool cliques because even at university if people find their clique, they end up sticking to it. I think part of it is that there really is a surface level amount of interaction. It’s a line between politeness and friendliness, I guess.
I had the Vancouver experience in Victoria as well
Didn't POF release statiatics a few years ago saying that Vancouver had the pickiest women
I agree about Vancouver, loneliest place I ever lived. But, I don't think it's a highschool clique thing. There are so many people there from all over Canada and the world. I don't have a better theory though...
I've lived in Vancouver over 20 years, I know very few people who actually grew up here. But yeah it's very cliquey. That being said I've built a really great social group community here. I love it but can't speak to the dating aspect as I've been partnered up the whole time.
All of BC is like that, IMO. I've lived north, central, and lower mainland. Everyone's in high school until they die, lol.
They have too many weird unspoken social rules in van
Toronto is pretty easy since there are a lot of people new to the city looking
Is this why Van kids are so terrified of leaving home and seeking opportunities and lower CoL elsewhere, they think it's like that everywhere?
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I can relate. I moved to Vancouver and had a solid social circle within the first 10 months - they were even locals, which makes my scenario even more rare. Also your user name rules.
Hey! I'll have you know that *most* of my close friends in Vancouver are from high school, but a few are from when I was 19 or 20.
100% true.
People just listing where they live
Ottawa? People from outside of town are always complaining it's almost impossible without app.
Second this!
Third this.
Alert, Nunavut
I'm picturing Klingon style courting/sex.
Whatever floats your boat
I'll have somathat!
Vancouver
Having lived in both, I think Toronto tops Vancouver.
Having lived in both as well, Vancouver is much worse in my opinion
Also having lived in both (as well as Edmonton, Yellowknife and Iqaluit), I 100% agree.
How so?
Cold, insular, stick to their own high school groups for dating. The three large ethnic groups mostly stick to each other.
LoL this. It reminds me of Malaysia, albeit it's a bit better
Luckily I met my wife before we visited Malaysia, but her cousins were all super choosy about who they dated and the one is in her late 20s now and still has never been on a date, I feel bad for them there.
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Everyone I’ve talked to said Vancouver is much much harder than Toronto. Toronto is full of new people looking for a partner and generally friendlier or at the very least it’s a chattier place.
That'l be Vancouver hands down LOL. i gave up on dating altogether couple years ago.... its rare to find someone that is actually capable of having a committed relationship.. and when you do find them, they are already taken by someone else --.-- Single for life YOLO lol
Steinbach, Manitoba. Often considered one of the most religious cities in Canada, has a population of less than 18,000, lacks any semblance of cultural diversity, and is low on 'third spaces' that are conducive to meeting people. I know many people who complain about dating in Vancouver and Toronto. If you think that's bad, try rural Manitoba!
Mennonites typically date other Mennonites or Christians. Most of the people I know that married young were religious, and they all met through church. They all typically met through youth group or young adults activities.
> most religious cities in Canada > is low on 'third spaces' that are conducive to meeting people In a place like that the churches kinda are the third spaces in town.
Can confirm. I live in a town in close proximity to Steinbach, many people I know from there married young and to someone within the church. If you’re a >25 non religious single you’re going to stay that way
Yea Steinbach can be difficult enough to find a partner if you are straight. If you are a member of the lgbtq community, you will get run out of town by the locals (I know of 3 people this has happened to).
I know one as well.
I must say I did not expect to see my hometown on this list😄
Newfoundland dating scene basically doesn’t exist. It takes like 10 minutes max to swipe through everyone on tinder, and it’s the exact same few faces on all the apps. It’s horrible here.
That does sound pretty brutal lol
Vancouver
Everywhere in canada, it’s the culture, very individualistic, no one wants to bother other people and they fear sexual harassment. I’m a lucky man because dating apps work for me, but for the majority of men it’s loneliness and no one gives a fuck about your existence.
I can understand the fear there, that would add even more pressure onto everything else we fear when trying to meet people. But I also feel that loneliness, it feels like everybody is constantly just minding their business and wants nothing to do with meeting new people. I moved for school, and thought I would meet people in college. Nope, not really. Everyone is silent during lectures and the second it's over immediately evacuates. I've met a few through clubs and stuff but nothing serious. I haven't tried the apps, been too scared, but perhaps I should. Doesn't seem to be working any other way!
Vancouver by far. Nearly every other place I've travelled to across Canada and in other countries was playing in easy mode by comparison.
Brantford ontario is the easiest, i swear the women here are agreesive. They spring on dudes like cobras I found Brandon mb to be hard place to date
As someone who's in a rather *extreme* dating niche, the attitude that big cities aren't where you should be dating is hilarious to me. The smaller the city, the smaller that minority is, the smaller the dating scene is, the harder it is to find a partner. Full stop. For me, that was Prince George, over 20 years ago. I literally moved to big, expensive Vancouver for that reason. That, and there was no way in hell that I could find a job in IT. I've changed careers, making it more feasible, but I still won't move there because dating is so hard in small communities.
What's your extreme dating niche?
I was gonna ask this... It better be good like ocularists, puppeters or waterslide tester...
Not OP, but I'm childfree and it's a fucking nightmare trying to find matches, especially if you don't live in a big city. I signed up for a few online dating sites eight years ago and there were like 4 childfree men in a 200 mile radius (biggest city included is Winnipeg). I think CF has become a bit more mainstream since then, but I already gave up on dating long ago.
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"Childfree" means "isn't going to have children" not "doesn't yet have children." What on Earth would make you think that the previous poster was being held back by not being a single mom?
Oh fuck off. I've been childfree for thirteen years. I am not changing my mind. I'm not interested in single dads and their baggage. I'm not interested in being pushed into a childcaring role or dealing with baby mama drama. And I'm certainly not interested in creating my own child. Fuck. I got so much of this shit on the dating websites, too. "You're not a real woman!" "You're broken if you don't want kids!!!" "I'll change your mind! You'll definitely want to have MY babies!" "You're probably a closeted lesbian." People like you are disgusting.
The real question
Yeah anybody saying Toronto or Vancouver here has never tried to date in a shithole small town with less than 40k in it.
How u gonna emphasize EXTREME niche and not even give us the tea
Heh. I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and kinky. And 48. Outsiders think that means I get to fuck everyone. In reality, it's the exact opposite. It's extremely limiting. Nobody outside the ENM community wants to date someone like me.
Also, dating partners are primarily determined through proximity (much like friends). If you live in a larger city, you have a greater probability/chance of meeting someone. Whether that person will be someone you want to meet on the other hand… that’s a different story
I completely disagree, to be honest. It's harder in big cities.
The person above you made a compelling argument about how there are simply more people in larger cities, making it more likely to find somebody compatible with you, especially if you are looking for something niche. Can you explain why you find it harder in big cities? I'm trying to wrap my head around why that could be. Higher standards or something?
I never had a problem dating in Vancouver but I can see and understand how someone can say it's harder. As a guy, it seemed as if numbers were stacked against me at times where there were so many people all going after a limited amount of other people that it could seem impossible at times to stand out and be noticed even though there's a large amount of people, all of whom are looking for the same thing(well....not all...but I think you can see what I'm trying to say?). Would feel like you're striking out over and over again and at some point you just stop putting in the effort. Basically the more people the more competitive it can be as you're no longer that rare diamond but merely a pebble on a beach now.
People connect in small towns, many don't in larger ones.
I’ve lived in Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. Toughest would probably be Vancouver. Hustle culture is big there, likely because of cost of living. People simply didn’t have much time to allocate out side their jobs or professions. People were very direct and firm on expectations. Felt more like a job interview than dating in a lot of cases. Best, probably Montreal. The people felt more laid back in general. Also, it’s very culturally diverse. People from all walks of life. It felt more interesting meeting people because the focus of conversation didn’t typically revolve around money or status but rather; hobbies, interests and aspirations etc. The great night life also helps and imo; Montreal has the most beautiful people. Toronto was of a mix of the two. It’s the place i lived the least amount of time so I don’t have a strong opinion. City was big and its people were fast. Similar vibe to Montreal in a sense just a different culture.
Vancouver and it isn’t even close. I would routinely travel and get way more matches anywhere else I went. When I moved to Calgary, I ended up going on more dates in 2-3 months than I did in years of trying in Vancouver, and ultimately found my partner.
I doubt this is the worst, but I am in Windsor rn and beause of the close proximity to Detroit, the dating apps mix all of the Americans and Canadians together. It’s such a pain trying to figure out who lives in Canada vs the US and it gets expensive real fast having to pay to cross back and forth (about $20), which adds up if you wanna see your SO multiple times a week.
Ottawa, by far, out of the 6 major cities.
•The cities with many more men and too few women.
Fort McMurray/Grande Prairie Alberta.
Tadoussac c’est though en siouplaît.
Ça ferait un bon slogan si tu changais le dernier mot en plus. "Tadoussac, c'est tough en t..."
Ouin j’imagine que ce n’est pas l’abondance de choix 🤣
Surtout l’hiver!
Vancouver and not just dating, but socializing and making friends You'd find more culture and life in a drop of sink bacteria than you would in all of Vancouver. Vancouver people like to make digs about Toronto, but every time I've been out east I have a good time and the people are great.
Edmonton - Because there's not enough Cactus Club there.
Yeah. 2 is not enough. LMAO!!!!
🤡
It’s a meme from a news article about some 30+ women from Ontario that was able to buy a beautiful home in Edmonton but ended up going back to Ontario and renting a shitty apartment because everyone her age was married and there wasn’t enough night clubs… absolute clown lmao
I know
Canada in general is a very hard place to make friends, never mind anything more. I've live in Mississauga, Toronto, and now London. I used to think that Toronto was the bottom until I moved to London. In fact, I'm moving back to Toronto ASAP, can't take one more day in London, Ontario. Mississauga was even worse, it's a sad, cold, minefield.
I don’t think Canada is hard to make friends. I’ve lived across the country and made friends everywhere I went and still are friends. It’s your location
Well that's good to know.
What do you hate about London in terms of dating.
I found Toronto very easy to make friends. There is a niche group for everything. But I agree with you, London sucks as a city.
Everywhere is easy if you’re a good contender
Precisely this. Do you have something to offer? Are you a good conversationalist? Do you take care of yourself? Job, ambition, don't live with your parents? If you want to date, you need to put some effort into yourself.
Don't live with parents, lol. Someone's in 1955
Rent prices these days? Mom and dad’s 700 sqft basement is looking mighty nice
Definitely Vancouver
I can't speak to what the toughest is. However, as a queer person, I find the options in Saskatoon to be next to none. I've found it impossible to find another queer person who is similar aged and monogamous. Saskatoon is so small that your options are extremely limited if you are gay.
Dildo Newfoundland
Vancouver, without a doubt; the PNW is a pretty anti-social place.
As a Anglo in Montreal it’s tough out here.
Small towns Kinfolk Ontario comes to mind because it sounds like everyone would be related
The biggest problem dating in the western world is, we all try to act like we’re not interested in the person even if we are. Maybe that gives us some validation.
Wouldn't you have to have tried dating in a representative sample number of cities to answer this?
This is why I find this type of question hilarious. If you ask someone "which city has the worst dating culture" they'll almost certainly just say the city they live in. It's the same phenomenon as when people claim "X city has the worst drivers" where X is the city they happen to live in.
Absolutely. I’d say Vancouver is worse than Toronto for dating, having lived in both places. For one thing, I found the response rates on the apps far lower in Vancouver than I did in Toronto. Toronto was still tough but at least I got a few dates there. I’ve completely given up on meeting anyone in Vancouver for the purpose of dating. But I’m still happy with Vancouver overall, there’s many other good things about living there for me and I can be generally happy single there. The one and only person who I met on a dating app in Vancouver spent part of the second date complaining about having to work with Indian people in Surrey. So that was a no from me. (It also explained why she was in her late 30s and had never been on a second date before me)
That’s a good point, I doubt a single human could accomplish the needed sample size in each city to truly get a measure. One possible way to quantify this might be using app data and counting the number of unique user ids that everyone replies to maybe measure the number of messages sent out as well. The fewer the replies (maybe as a function of sent message count) the tougher the online dating scene.
Superficial factors go into overdrive in ocean cities because of the beach culture. Every person peacocks in minimal clothing which raises the stakes. I've lived in various cities throughout Canada. For both men and women, the pressure shift to be fit between coastal vs. landlocked big cities is palpable.
I don't know if Canada really has any "beach culture" cities like America has with Miami or Malibu. Most Torontonians don't interact with the waterfront on an everage day/week/month. The east and west coast beaches are cold, rugged oceans. Maybe Tofino or White Rock is an exemption. Our "beach towns" are more like lake towns. Wasaga Beach, Port Dover, Muskoka Lakes etc as Ontario examples.
It'll be smaller towns with low genetic diversity, hard to date when you're related to everyone, or worse still, imagine being the only gay guy in your tribe on a remote Inuit village? No dating options at all.
Victoria- home of the newlyweds and nearly deads. I lived there is my 30’s and it was brutal.
Looking at the comments here, it seems Vancouver's rough. I can't say anything about it as I don't live there; as a Torontonian, I'll just say that our city feels like a pub/bar: you'll meet some of the most diverse group of people, from all walks of life & nationalities, with the wildest ranges of belief systems, all competing and running on the same rat race wheel of misery. And everyone's either a banker, lawyer, real estate, or IT. Not for the faintest of hearts & everyone's just each other's backup boyfriend/girlfriend/fwb/ENM partner/whatever term you want to call: easy come, easy go. Reminds me of NYC/downtown LA in a sense actually.
Yellowknife...I just assume options would be limited.
Alert, Nunavut
Victoria was tough, everyone wants one night stands and its very hard to get into a click. Took me 2 years of being there to start making friends, and I'm a very sociable person. Edmonton is a dating gong show. Lots of entitlement and snobbery. I've heard it gets easier out east, but the only times I've been there I was already married.
As if anybody would know
I feel like for certain reasons Halifax does because compared to other Major Cities in Canada it’s definitely much smaller population wise. In that point your degrees of Separation from exes or people who are varying levels of connected to exes or even people you know that maybe you’re not all that close to that you might not want to view past the odd Instagram post is much easier. I’m speaking as someone who is and has been trying to date in Halifax for a while. As someone who strives to not make the same choices in dating it’s hard in a smaller place where most people at the very least have an idea of who your ex or non connections might be.
Anywhere east of MTL
Montreal, for sure. There are a lot of long-lasting divisions there between different language and ethnic groups. The people there definitely stick to their cliques more than elsewhere. It's not the kind of place you can do something spontaneous with a stranger and enjoy yourself. When I left, life and fun just felt so much simpler. I didn't have to always be aware of where I stand socially in terms of language, ethnicity, race, and class the way I did in Montreal. It was so exhausting. Montreal is also not as sexually open as it seems. People there are surprisingly prudish once you get to know them. Their minds are sexual, but their bodies haven't caught up. It's like they are still in the rebellious phase against the stronghold the church had over Quebec, but they still haven't found out how to genuinely be comfortable in their sexuality. I can see why sex work is a big thing there, because they need to turn to professionals since they struggle when it comes to having sex with each other.
I have lots of friends from Vancouver in Toronto now, who confirmed this… They don’t even bother going home to visit unless they have family still alive…Because the friend circle is so tiny and if you move away you’re disowned by the few high schoolers who stayed behind. So weird.
[This place ...](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilt_Cove)
Not just Victoria, but I'll argue the whole Island. Especially the entitled French Hippies that live out of converted buses in communes are a nightmare to deal with outside of a FwB or one nighter...
any rural town under 5,000
Montreal. For sure. On top of being a sexually open and diverse city; the politics of language, ethnicity, and social class all weigh out in a way I’ve never seen elsewhere. Known many couples who didn’t make it for these reasons… Just my 2 cents though…
I find that the things you listed make for an incredibly rich dating culture. Many many mixed race and religious backgrounds couples everywhere in MTL
It’s rich for sure. No doubt. I just mean you hear a lot of no for a lot of reasons that are unique to Montreal. I root for couples to make it, and like you said; we see pairings in Montreal that feel rare. But the earliest stages feel really challenging in the 514.
Always had an easy time dating a very diverse variety of folks in Montreal. Great fun to be had here. I think it's very personal experience, but saying Montreal is the worst for dating... I cannot get behind that statement at all, even looking at my friends. The ones who really had a hard time with dating were the ones with boatloads of issues to sort through that really weren't ready for dating.
I live in mtl and I agree. It’s easy to find a date but nobody want to be in a relationship. It’s like the majority of people are non monogamous lol but I’m from a small town and the majority of people from my ages have kids and it’s not my type at all
Dude, it's so easy to get laid in Montréal, and I'm an Anglo from BC.
I could only ever meet non-francophones in MTL. French girls are a mystery to me.
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I find this hard to believe, when I was in Winnipeg for vacation, I was getting matches left and right on tinder/bumble compared to Edmonton with like 1 match per week. Maybe its just the dating apps
No way
Hell
It's close to Ontario, but Hell is actually in Michigan.
Well I thought Niagara falls was entrance to hell
People who are saying Vancouver have never tried dating in Halifax. At least people in Vancouver go out, Halifax is constantly dead and extremely difficult to find friends let alone date if you’re over 25. People in Vancouver seem happy to be there; Halifax has this pervading sense of depression, anger, and dread in its social life that extends into the dating scene.
Big yes to this as someone who’s seen it coming for years that I would not be good to stay here I couldn’t agree more about the energy of this City. I’m going on 27 and consider it a lucky thing I’ve found someone half decent who doesn’t waste both our time around here. But people who want the same things of life generally find eachother. If you have foresight to want to leave find someone like that which is hard around here because fuck religious guilt Family guilt is huge here.
Over 100 comments and nobody has said Calgary! Gay here. Moved from MTL. It’s been about 4 years. I no longer have a sex life let alone dating.
Jfc. That’s shocking to be honest. I’m so sorry that’s the case. If it makes you feel better, at least you’re in a good city. It’s garbage in Saskatchewan (rural and “urban”).
It’s a combination of urban sprawl and less selection; i.e., fewer people and more spread out. Add kinks and preferences and other compatibility factors, and the prospect of finding someone one clicks with plummets.
Not even during stampede!?
Gotta get a spit roast during stampede 😂😂😂
Hans Island.
I’d venture to say any rural or smaller commmunites. Conversely, I can also see those communities being the opposite of tough too… I’d say either extreme (large and small communities) probably have a lot of difficulties associated with regard to dating. I live in a town that’s large but not a major city such as Toronto or Vancouver. It’s tough here too. It’s tough everywhere probably, but that also depends on what you define as a “tough dating culture”? . Dating in 2024 can be a hellscape at times.
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Nelson!!
Nelson is a breeze. Try living in Trail.
Total outlier, but my finace and I met in Castlegar. Neither of us are from there, we were both working student summer positions at the Mill. He’s the only good thing I got out of that awful place.
Toronto. High standards and highly judgemental based on salary and net worth.