One time on Reddit someone went through my post history and said I was an idiot that couldn't keep a tomato plant alive and it really made me laugh. Couldn't get mad
My coworkers were discussing who I resembled. 1 said “You look like a young Leonardo Dicaprio. But in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape where he’s autistic.”
A kid who I worked with when I was in safeguarding called me a "fucking wet wipe full of snot". I just had to disguise my laugh as a cough and let him have that one. He also called one of his social workers "a stupid cobweb with fleas in it". I was called a "snebby flannel" too. Awesome kid, very creative just had a hard time in foster care, I miss him.
Sometimes you just have to take it!
In grade school, someone said my mother uses foodstamps. I said she does. They buy food just like cash, and other people in this room probably use them too. Tried to make fun that I admitted to it and then moved on when he didn't get a reaction
On my wife's ratemyprofessor, students complain that "if you don't follow the instructions or include a works cited page she's fail you."
Ummm...yes. All the positive ratings are "read the instructions and follow them and you'll get an A." How about that?
In the early days of the site, anybody could make an account and leave ratings. So I gave myself harsh ratings on the "Easiness" and "Amount of work required" criteria, with comments about how this teacher recognizes hard work but doesn't hesitate to fail lazy students. I have no idea if it had any effect.
That type of shit always pissed me off. I had a class where I had an A in everything. I understood the material, did the homework, passed the tests with flying colors, but I had an F in the class because I didn’t show up in non-test days. The class was a fucking waste of time because all the guy did was basically re-read the assigned chapters that I already read and understood. It wasn’t hard, but the professor would drop your grade every time you missed a class.
I ended up dropping it. I had that same teacher for other classes and he just had an overly high opinion of himself and how hard his subject material actually is
A few weeks ago I noticed someone in a thread I was reading was using a sockpuppet account to boost their own opinions, so I called them out on it.
For three weeks they didn't respond only to suddenly reply with something along the lines of "lol, Nintendo Adult" before blocking me on both of their accounts.
I mean.. yeah. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I *am* an adult, and as one of my hobbies is gaming, I am also somewhat of a fan of Nintendo games. Guess they couldn't find anything more damning in my post history to use as an insult.
"You know when you go into a Asian shop, and there's always a sad little kid on a stool in the back playing, by himself with Pokémon, that was you wasn't it?"
My mom owns a barber shop, and that was me
True to an extent, but I'm a gay guy. Slurs against me don't bother me at all, you call me the Q word and I thank you for that, we all should be unique. Even the F word, the other F word for gay people, I just smile and wave.
Gay slurs do not insult me and will not get a rise out of me, try as others may.
Lol every time some rando calls me a gay slur in a negative way, I'm just like "true, true".
Shit used to bother me so much growing up, but I fully don't care anymore, and getting called gay is just an accurate observation at this point
You're so lazy you wouldn't get up early if the house was on fire. You would ask where the fire was, how big it was, if your help was really needed putting it out, etc.
Had to throw insults at each other in theater class. My best friend called me potterhead (which is absolutely true, HP was my first hyperfixation). Im hindsight, considering the stuff jkr does nowadays and the fact im trans it was probably a good insult. Im a traitor , i know
You’re not a traitor. Her current actions and her views are very upsetting but those views aren’t expressed in Harry Potter. They aren’t part of Harry Potter. Harry Potter was something that inspired millions, gave people the will to live and all that doesn’t go away just because JKR has bad trans opinions
Not really an insult but definitely a moment that me go “okay and?”
My brother in law told me he hated me so much that he would gladly leave me to die if the situation called for it. I only responded with “you can hate me all you want. All that matters is how much I love your brother and how much he loves me” husband says it’s the best “okay and?” Moment he has seen from me without me becoming the rudest person alive.
I was at a bar once and had on a red and grey striped shirt. Someone came up to me and said that I looked like I was cosplaying Freddy Kruger. I had a good laugh and threw that shirt away.
We were playing just so no one thinks anything other.
Told my kid she shouldn't pick on her dad and her response was:
"But there's just so many things to pick on."
Short, bald, fat and old to her so she's not wrong. I stood there stunned and she just held off the laugh as long as possible. Just damn.
"You're going to die alone" Yeah, because that's how it works, buddy
Being alone doesn't scare me so I didn't take this as an insult although the people who have used this one have definitely intended it to be one.
I did a roast me ages ago and I can't quite remember the comment made but it was so brutally, painfully accurate I laughed really hard and actually had to do some thinking.
Something about my daddy issues I think. Haha.
I remember I was helping to move some quite heavy metallic shelves where a waiter would put the dirty plates and cups (I was the dishwasher), I already moved even way heavier things without being that bulky (I'd a bit skinny actually, just a bit). However, I was lazy to frenquently move those because I had too much dishes to wash and there were more coming. I refused one time when she said "Please move it, aren't you a man?" And I literally said "Move it yourself, woman". Nobody took it personally, we just laughed and our surrounding partners too. I often act like this when someone ask me to help with a heavy thing they can't move by themselves too 😂
"It is seriously the smallest dick I have ever seen."
"You're not hard. You're not even trying. I want to feel a head get rock hard in my mouth, and you can't do it for me."
Okay it wasn't good but it still made me laugh; posted a meme on Twitter making fun of Hillary Clinton and an apparent diehard fan of hers responded with this gem "an obviously fake pfp and a star wars pinned tweet. I bet you mastrubate yourself to sleep every night."
Played football in highschool and put on 70 pounds in 3 years. Was super fat. When people made fun of me for being fat, I couldnt say that they were wrong, currently down 45 pounds with about 20ish to go to get to my ideal weight
One time on Reddit someone went through my post history and said I was an idiot that couldn't keep a tomato plant alive and it really made me laugh. Couldn't get mad
''You use reddit beacause you have no one to talk to in real life''. I laughed because it was too accurate
See, that would have me laughing my ass off, because my answer would be, “have you met me? I talk to *air molecules*, bitch.”
Ackshually there are no air molecules because there are molecules in the air.
My coworkers were discussing who I resembled. 1 said “You look like a young Leonardo Dicaprio. But in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape where he’s autistic.”
Fuck it. I'd still smash
A kid who I worked with when I was in safeguarding called me a "fucking wet wipe full of snot". I just had to disguise my laugh as a cough and let him have that one. He also called one of his social workers "a stupid cobweb with fleas in it". I was called a "snebby flannel" too. Awesome kid, very creative just had a hard time in foster care, I miss him. Sometimes you just have to take it!
In grade school, someone said my mother uses foodstamps. I said she does. They buy food just like cash, and other people in this room probably use them too. Tried to make fun that I admitted to it and then moved on when he didn't get a reaction
Once, I gave a dickhead driver a thumbs up and he non-ironically gave me one back. I just laughed, I couldn’t even be mad.
This is my favourite
"You old" "You bald" Yes, daughter, everything true so far.
On ratemyprofessors some students have said, "If you miss class you won't pass." And I'm thinking, "Yep."
On my wife's ratemyprofessor, students complain that "if you don't follow the instructions or include a works cited page she's fail you." Ummm...yes. All the positive ratings are "read the instructions and follow them and you'll get an A." How about that?
I can't be the only professor who used that site to warn lazy students not to enroll in my classes.
How did you do that?
In the early days of the site, anybody could make an account and leave ratings. So I gave myself harsh ratings on the "Easiness" and "Amount of work required" criteria, with comments about how this teacher recognizes hard work but doesn't hesitate to fail lazy students. I have no idea if it had any effect.
I'm a poli sci professor and front load the semester with all the hard readings before the add/drop deadline. That works very well
That type of shit always pissed me off. I had a class where I had an A in everything. I understood the material, did the homework, passed the tests with flying colors, but I had an F in the class because I didn’t show up in non-test days. The class was a fucking waste of time because all the guy did was basically re-read the assigned chapters that I already read and understood. It wasn’t hard, but the professor would drop your grade every time you missed a class. I ended up dropping it. I had that same teacher for other classes and he just had an overly high opinion of himself and how hard his subject material actually is
If there was nothing useful going on in class, then you were ripped off.
A few weeks ago I noticed someone in a thread I was reading was using a sockpuppet account to boost their own opinions, so I called them out on it. For three weeks they didn't respond only to suddenly reply with something along the lines of "lol, Nintendo Adult" before blocking me on both of their accounts. I mean.. yeah. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ I *am* an adult, and as one of my hobbies is gaming, I am also somewhat of a fan of Nintendo games. Guess they couldn't find anything more damning in my post history to use as an insult.
I just bet they randomly one day thought of you calling them out got so upset they had to reply
"You know when you go into a Asian shop, and there's always a sad little kid on a stool in the back playing, by himself with Pokémon, that was you wasn't it?" My mom owns a barber shop, and that was me
A boyfriend once told me I dress like a homeless zombie. I mean, I love zombies, so thanks!
True to an extent, but I'm a gay guy. Slurs against me don't bother me at all, you call me the Q word and I thank you for that, we all should be unique. Even the F word, the other F word for gay people, I just smile and wave. Gay slurs do not insult me and will not get a rise out of me, try as others may.
Lol every time some rando calls me a gay slur in a negative way, I'm just like "true, true". Shit used to bother me so much growing up, but I fully don't care anymore, and getting called gay is just an accurate observation at this point
<3
😂😂😂 Me too,I'm gay as 💩,sometimes it's a compliment for me
I'm bi. When I get called the F word I smile and say "only half of one but glad you noticed".
> you call me the Q word [...] Even the F word, the other F word for gay people Damn, modern discourse is veering toward crossword clues more and more
Anytime I’m called a slur or something like that I just am shocked they could tell cause sm people think I’m straight for some reason
My go to response is just "Thank you mam, I try to make it obvious"
What's the q word? Queen?
You’re 80% there
Queer? Look, I'm not opposed to sucking dick, but if someone is ignorant just give them the answer please.
No
"You have a brain like Dory's..."
Someone in my country said to me .. putita… I reply … yeah, I am
Every time I'm called a fag, I'm like... oh, so you have eyes then. Real cute. Do not care.
Honestly, like anytime anyone has tried to use a slur against me I just don’t care there so genuinely overused i don’t react anymore
You're so lazy you wouldn't get up early if the house was on fire. You would ask where the fire was, how big it was, if your help was really needed putting it out, etc.
I was told I’m a cold, anti social, invert and not qualified to be management material.
Had to throw insults at each other in theater class. My best friend called me potterhead (which is absolutely true, HP was my first hyperfixation). Im hindsight, considering the stuff jkr does nowadays and the fact im trans it was probably a good insult. Im a traitor , i know
You’re not a traitor. Her current actions and her views are very upsetting but those views aren’t expressed in Harry Potter. They aren’t part of Harry Potter. Harry Potter was something that inspired millions, gave people the will to live and all that doesn’t go away just because JKR has bad trans opinions
Not really an insult but definitely a moment that me go “okay and?” My brother in law told me he hated me so much that he would gladly leave me to die if the situation called for it. I only responded with “you can hate me all you want. All that matters is how much I love your brother and how much he loves me” husband says it’s the best “okay and?” Moment he has seen from me without me becoming the rudest person alive.
I was at a bar once and had on a red and grey striped shirt. Someone came up to me and said that I looked like I was cosplaying Freddy Kruger. I had a good laugh and threw that shirt away.
We were playing just so no one thinks anything other. Told my kid she shouldn't pick on her dad and her response was: "But there's just so many things to pick on." Short, bald, fat and old to her so she's not wrong. I stood there stunned and she just held off the laugh as long as possible. Just damn.
“Fuck you” is what did it for me. So much thought! So much insight! So relevant! I’m still recovering.
if i can see it being true at all id rather hear it than not know lol
🥲"Watch your smartass toxic fucking mouth"🥲
My tendency to overexplain things made someone call me out on it. That I do and I also reiterate to my past experiences as knowledge on a subject.
huff such a nerd
A lady at a bar referred to me as "the Gigant Woman" all night.
"You're going to die alone" Yeah, because that's how it works, buddy Being alone doesn't scare me so I didn't take this as an insult although the people who have used this one have definitely intended it to be one.
"You're an alien" from the second or third husband in a row. I can't even remember anymore. I was just like yep, can't run away from that one
To me, lots of people, from coworkers to family, once in a while say I am very annoying and old-fashioned
“You’re kind of a bitch”
You're a virgin who can't drive. Couldn't argue with any of it tbh.
"You're like a cartoon character!" I took it as a compliment lol.
I did a roast me ages ago and I can't quite remember the comment made but it was so brutally, painfully accurate I laughed really hard and actually had to do some thinking. Something about my daddy issues I think. Haha.
Being told I look like a dude. I mean, of course I do, I love unisex fashion
I remember I was helping to move some quite heavy metallic shelves where a waiter would put the dirty plates and cups (I was the dishwasher), I already moved even way heavier things without being that bulky (I'd a bit skinny actually, just a bit). However, I was lazy to frenquently move those because I had too much dishes to wash and there were more coming. I refused one time when she said "Please move it, aren't you a man?" And I literally said "Move it yourself, woman". Nobody took it personally, we just laughed and our surrounding partners too. I often act like this when someone ask me to help with a heavy thing they can't move by themselves too 😂
On Halloween at work I was not in a costume and someone said, " just tell them you are overweight Jason Statham". You know, I'll call that a win!
Fat bitch. It was pretty spot on.
try moving the extra skin around your eye a little and read the question properly fat bitch!
lol see…still not offended and just taking it.
how long you think you can take it?
Every sexual insult my wife has ever crushed me with. I'm truly bad at it.
I don't believe you. give me an example.
"It is seriously the smallest dick I have ever seen." "You're not hard. You're not even trying. I want to feel a head get rock hard in my mouth, and you can't do it for me."
r/rareinsults
Okay it wasn't good but it still made me laugh; posted a meme on Twitter making fun of Hillary Clinton and an apparent diehard fan of hers responded with this gem "an obviously fake pfp and a star wars pinned tweet. I bet you mastrubate yourself to sleep every night."
Played football in highschool and put on 70 pounds in 3 years. Was super fat. When people made fun of me for being fat, I couldnt say that they were wrong, currently down 45 pounds with about 20ish to go to get to my ideal weight
Everything can be seen as a insult. Just be carefully with terminology. Some people are psycho