I had written the plot of a novel about a penguin that learns to fly, but he's too proud to do that in front of his fellow penguins who keep on dissing him. He would then make friends with lots of humans in his global search for penguins who could fly like him. At the end of the story, a friend he made (and with whom he had an argument before, leaving the two on bad terms) was about to die from frostbite. He would wake up believing to be dead, only to find that his penguin friend had walked (there was a snow storm) all the way to him and slept on top of him to keep him warm.
My (then) girlfriend said that it was shit, so I never wrote it. Yes, it was a toxic relationship.
I got voice control on Xbox 360 like 10 years ago or more. Brother would come over and say "Xbox off" and because he had the same voice as me it would shut off
a long long time ago my best mate had an illegal copy of mortal Kombat on his Atari computer, he and his bro would play it all the time.
Because it was a doggy copy, it had instant death for player 1 & 2 assigned to del & Insert. Every time I'd come over I would say "I'm the god of del" and hit the button
Buy a ir blaster attachment to your phone. If he is holding the remote there’s no way he’d expect you. I mean what the hell is even a ir blaster attachment? 😂
I bought a universal remote off of ThinkGeek years ago. It was very tiny, and I would carry it around in my pocket and use it to turn TVs on and off in random places. Such a fun way to prank people in public.
Assuming that being invisible means that anything inside of you is also invisible, you could easily get away with robbing a bank by simply cramming all the money in your ass.
Yeah, getting financial independence is one reasonably achievable thing in a day of invisiblility.
All other ideas may have entertaining factor but the long tem consequence of financial independence is the winner.
I would have no qualms stealing from a bank if I were invisible, then there’s no collateral damage to tellers/customers like in a robbery.
They still owe us for bailing their asses out in 2008.
Would be hard to pull. Maybe u can give it a little push at the end but any form of force on the ball should be noticable, especially if 10 plus people watch said ball.
Its gonna feel unnatural in its movement.
Ooooo yeah I can see that!! It would be more like poke left leg to call the bet - which means put up an equal amount of money to someone else thinking you can beat them; or right leg to fold - reject the bet and forfeit the money in the middle that has been bet on that hand.
Due to some problems we have to close this table, pls move to another.
Same thing? Hm, maybe check the people that went to all tables with problems. Ofc finding an invis man or even thinking an invis man could be the problem wont happen but u could video the suspects and ban em if you cant figure it out.
Reminds me of that one CalebCity skit where a dude has a superpower to turn invisible but he needs to do a backflip to activate it and he can't do a backflip. So he backflips and snaps his neck and there's just an invisible corpse.
No no no. They’re not supposed to talk. Did anybody think to ask the mimes if they could just write down what’s happening to them? This could be a game changer.
But money isn't invisible. It'd be weird watching money flying out of stores or wherever I think you'd be jumped quicker than you like to admit. Then you will be a science experiment left to strange, bizarre and top secret operations for the rest of your days.
That's gross. Who knows who's touched the loot. Plus you've probably already lubed the inside of your buttcheeks to reduce sound when you're walking around so it'll be easy to jam a couple of Faberge Eggs up there.
I knew i wasn't the only person that hated how loud i walk and constantly keep my butt hole lubed. Eat shit Jennifer, "I'm leaving you, it's just too weird"..….... Looks like it isn't so weird after all. Enjoy your next boyfriend and having to listen to his loud butthole scritches when he walks.
Go on stage with politicians and do things like grab their hand and make them rack themselves on TV.
Or when they're drinking water, tip the cup or squeeze the bottle so they spill it down their front and face.
Or trip them, kick under their foot while they're walking, pants them, fish hook them while they're talking, stuff like that.
I'd also slap my wife's butt more because she couldn't turn away during my approach, then she slaps my butt as I'm turning to try and get hers.
I would go to my son’s daycare and enjoy watching him have fun with friends at school to see what he is like when he is not around us. I feel like it would be fascinating.
If I could be invisible for a day, I'd probably spend it exploring and observing the world in ways I normally couldn't. I'd visit crowded places or those usually off-limits to get a unique perspective. Watching how people go about their daily lives without knowing they're being observed would be fascinating. Of course, I'd make sure to respect people's privacy and use the opportunity to learn, not intrude.
If I could be invisible for a day, I'd explore hidden or crowded places and observe people’s daily lives unnoticed. It would be fascinating to see the world from this unique perspective while respecting everyone's privacy.
I’d sneak into Congress and slap everyone, one-by-one… Over and over again.
Bipartisan slaps… No party is off limits.
You think I’m spending too much time slapping Democrats like AOC and Rashida Tlaib?
As soon as I see a Republican like MTG or Dan Crenshaw snicker when the I slap Chuck Schumer, I’d be sure to reach across the aisle and slap them too.
As far as I’m concerned, I am an Independent Slapper.
Then, when they stand up..... kick them in the butt. And whisper in their ear, "This is your lord and savior, and I'm watching you." That should screw with their mind.
Sure, that's a lot of slapping and kicking. I think it would be worth it.
How though, that's kinda the interesting bit to this question. It's not actually an easy job.
Obviously the money is the only thing to go for, it'll pay for the rest of your life fun. But how do you get it without getting caught? Most thieves may as well be invisible when they commit the crime, but it's all the evidence before and after the theft that screws them over.
Yeah how to do it is the question. Unless you can somehow get vault access to a major bank you are only getting like 10 or 20k robbing a bank. Not bad and I guess if you rob ten banks that day you get a decent chunk. But that's not "never work another day in your life" kind of money, which is what I'd want.
For example, you go to a pawn shop, steal some jewelery and stash it away somewhere near an outside window, a back door. You can erase the recording easily. The same with a shop or a bank even.
Also...if I put a gold ring in my mouth and I'm invisible...will it become invisible as well?
I would spend the day moving people's stuff around. Your tooth brush is in the kitchen, your phone is in the garage, your car keys are in the dishwasher, of course. The gnomes have been doing it to me for years. Now I get to be the gnome!
A statue of some unknown deity is just going to make people think about ghosts, a floating Jesus statue at a synagogue on the other hand would be pretty funny.
Heck even floating Jesus at Southern US Catholic churches would be funny, just make it black Jesus or Middle Eastern Jesus. A floating Obama might be better though.
Think about the options. Option 1 all your organic components are transparent. You'd be like those see-thru fish so if you eat something people could see it. Maybe cum would be invisible since it has cells with your DNA but your poop probably isn't.
Option 2, your skin somehow bends light or changes color to make your outer layer invisible. So anything leaving your body suddenly becomes visible.
There was some book where the invisible man's flesh is only invisible when the cells are alive. At some point he got injured and his blood was visible.
I read that book like 10 years ago so this is basically the only thing I remember
I mean, I have the same thought, but there are so many questions. If you're invisible, how do you convince them to do it? And if you can, then why not do it when you're visible? And if you can't convince them, then you're basically going to rape a couple chicks?
Probably go to the physics department at the local university and see if they can learn anything from the phenomenon.
Might not be much they can figure out if it's truely magical in nature, but it seems like the only other options are immoral, illegal, annoying or pervy.
My wife makes a bell pepper salad thing with red, yellow, and green bell peppers, yellow onion, tomatoes, and feta with an olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. Guaranteed stinkers.
Sneak into wright patterson air force base and find the ufos, take pictures and video, some tech then give it to every news agency in the world.
Other options include:
Going to tax havens like cayman islands and burning everything to the ground
Grab incriminating evidence to take down some asshole politicians
Murdering any dictator I can get to
typing that made me feel a little insane but hey, how likely is invisibility?
With my luck, get hit by a car.
An invisible car
The invisible boat mobile!
EEEEVVVVVIIIIILLLLLL!!!!
I'd probably sneak into a zoo and convince everyone that penguins can fly.
"They CAN fly, they're just afraid of heights."
I had written the plot of a novel about a penguin that learns to fly, but he's too proud to do that in front of his fellow penguins who keep on dissing him. He would then make friends with lots of humans in his global search for penguins who could fly like him. At the end of the story, a friend he made (and with whom he had an argument before, leaving the two on bad terms) was about to die from frostbite. He would wake up believing to be dead, only to find that his penguin friend had walked (there was a snow storm) all the way to him and slept on top of him to keep him warm. My (then) girlfriend said that it was shit, so I never wrote it. Yes, it was a toxic relationship.
Each penguin can fly once.
Everyone can fly once.
It’s the landing that gets ya
The trick to Flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
God as my witness, I thought they could
They can, but only under water.
Imagine being wrong about that again. C'mon, Les.
Go to my neighbor’s house and kick him in the dick.
DIN-KLE-BERG!!
Yeah I'd do the same. Fuck you Ray, you old racist piece of shit
*Raycist
I would go to my brothers house & keep turning his television off as he’s watching it
That is a choice
It is a choice of all time
I got voice control on Xbox 360 like 10 years ago or more. Brother would come over and say "Xbox off" and because he had the same voice as me it would shut off
Such a brother move lmao, whenever my brother is driving in gta I'll hit Δ or y to make him jump put
a long long time ago my best mate had an illegal copy of mortal Kombat on his Atari computer, he and his bro would play it all the time. Because it was a doggy copy, it had instant death for player 1 & 2 assigned to del & Insert. Every time I'd come over I would say "I'm the god of del" and hit the button
"I'm the god of del" *Thunder as you press the button*
Buy a ir blaster attachment to your phone. If he is holding the remote there’s no way he’d expect you. I mean what the hell is even a ir blaster attachment? 😂
As kids we noticed that our remote worked for the neighbour’s TV as well and snuck out and hid in a bush changing his channels and shit.
I bought a universal remote off of ThinkGeek years ago. It was very tiny, and I would carry it around in my pocket and use it to turn TVs on and off in random places. Such a fun way to prank people in public.
Nothing legal
Yeah if I end up with invisibility for a day, you best believe I'm using it to make sure that every visible day after is one lived in comfort.
just make sure your fingerprints dont appear anywhere...
“Follow that bag of cash!”
Assuming that being invisible means that anything inside of you is also invisible, you could easily get away with robbing a bank by simply cramming all the money in your ass.
you must have a huge prison purse if you can live comfortably the rest of your life by robing a bank stashing all the money in there
Take a friend to a casino and tell them to put all their savings on red. I'm making sure that ball lands on red.
Yeah, getting financial independence is one reasonably achievable thing in a day of invisiblility. All other ideas may have entertaining factor but the long tem consequence of financial independence is the winner.
Right, but we need a vaguely sane method of achieving the financial independence
I was gonna loot a bank but I kinda like this more. Atleast I wouldn’t have the guilt of stealing something.
I wonder if you’re still visible on thermals. Gonna look pretty funny seeing a naked person playing with the roulette ball.
if that’s the case maybe I could monetize it. People pay to watch naked people playing with balls all the time.
ah... a new tic tokker
Good luck finding a casino with thermal security cameras. This isn't a movie
“…we’re in Barney. Rubble!”
If there was an invisibility device, it would seem odd that it would work only specifically on the human-visible portions of the spectrum.
I would have no qualms stealing from a bank if I were invisible, then there’s no collateral damage to tellers/customers like in a robbery. They still owe us for bailing their asses out in 2008.
…and when you reach into the bank bag and the paint bomb, aka “dye pack,” explodes, are you visible?
Potentially, but I don't think they keep those armed all the time. I might be wrong though. If it ever becomes relevant I'll look that up.
Pro tip- don't Google how to do illegal adjacent stuff if you are going to do illegal stuff.
It's ok, I'm in incognito mode. /s
Would be hard to pull. Maybe u can give it a little push at the end but any form of force on the ball should be noticable, especially if 10 plus people watch said ball. Its gonna feel unnatural in its movement.
Yeah I think this would only be helpful for poker. But idk how you would communicate what you needed to.
Poke right leg if he should go all in in, poke left if not. Idk... I don't know how to play poker.
Well you’ve got the poking part down already!
Ooooo yeah I can see that!! It would be more like poke left leg to call the bet - which means put up an equal amount of money to someone else thinking you can beat them; or right leg to fold - reject the bet and forfeit the money in the middle that has been bet on that hand.
All you would need to communicate is to fold. A shoulder tap is all you need.
Good call (no pun intended)
Sir, we're gonna have to ask you to leave. We believe you've got an invisible accomplice!
Due to some problems we have to close this table, pls move to another. Same thing? Hm, maybe check the people that went to all tables with problems. Ofc finding an invis man or even thinking an invis man could be the problem wont happen but u could video the suspects and ban em if you cant figure it out.
I don't need such thing. I'm a middle child already
Did someone say something
Nope
Not me
I think it was the wind
In some families it's an asset to be ignored..
Ouch
Oh lord fucking same
Take my vote . I'm a middle child too and I KNOW the feeling!
Me too bruh me too
see how different people act alone vs public 😂
So much nose picking
Not to mention the masturbating
And gas, so much gas.
Nose picking, masturbation, and flatulence... Just sounds like another day on public transportation.
You see people masturbating on public transportation!?!?!?
Yes.
You would suffer from nightmares for the rest of your life...
Yea seems like the worst idea. Especially if ur spying on people u know.. just awkwardness all around
It can surely lead to clinical depression.
pick up a cat, walk around a busy street and then wait the next morning for "mysterious floating cat" to go viral on the news and on the internet
Bold of you to think the cat would cooperate for that lol. A puppy is a safer option.
It would make a better video to do the cat. More drama
Is my blood still invisible after it’s been spilled by cat claws?
Reminds me of that one CalebCity skit where a dude has a superpower to turn invisible but he needs to do a backflip to activate it and he can't do a backflip. So he backflips and snaps his neck and there's just an invisible corpse.
I'd go to Paris and beat up a mime. The round of applause he'd receive from his audience would be incredible.
As a professional mime, I approve this
Hey, you are NOT supposed to talk!
u/eos4 isn’t talking with his mouth, but with his hands
So the same as people who use sign language? Checkmate mimes.
No no no. They’re not supposed to talk. Did anybody think to ask the mimes if they could just write down what’s happening to them? This could be a game changer.
An oldie but a goodie. https://ifunny.co/picture/whats-the-first-thing-you-would-do-if-you-were-UODMIvleA
A bunch of naked stuff
Just imagine that you appear suddenly when you were going to sip from a chocolate shake mug of a young lady in an open cafe...
Idk if you really want me to imagine that
I know what kind of man you are.
Me too
Trip up the loud kids running around in the restaurant and then maybe steal a sky box for Rishi
That last bit really made me laugh out loud, bravo fellow Brit
“It’s a Rishsky move” - Sean Connery
I’d follow my cat around all day to finally figure out what they do when I’m not home. Spoiler: probably just nap in different spots
I'm sure I once read about somebody who put a small camera on one of their cats out of curiosity and that's exactly what it did.
I think your Cat will stare right at you.
They'll probably just be really confused since they'll be able to smell/ hear you just fine
Run naked in the mall
You can do that without being invisible too
Probably watch TV. I also might eat lunch. Hold me back!
Watch out! Man gone insane!
Degenerate.
Steal money.
But money isn't invisible. It'd be weird watching money flying out of stores or wherever I think you'd be jumped quicker than you like to admit. Then you will be a science experiment left to strange, bizarre and top secret operations for the rest of your days.
You put the money up your bum. And then it becomes invisible.
Why not just put it in your mouth? Why is bum the first option?
That's gross. Who knows who's touched the loot. Plus you've probably already lubed the inside of your buttcheeks to reduce sound when you're walking around so it'll be easy to jam a couple of Faberge Eggs up there.
I knew i wasn't the only person that hated how loud i walk and constantly keep my butt hole lubed. Eat shit Jennifer, "I'm leaving you, it's just too weird"..….... Looks like it isn't so weird after all. Enjoy your next boyfriend and having to listen to his loud butthole scritches when he walks.
That was pure poetry
Never change, Reddit. Never change.
I'm better off stealing jewellery, actually. It's easier to poke a $6,000 necklace up there than $6,000 in cash. Or, best of all, steal diamonds.
A pearl necklace is just anal beads for rich people
This guy steals out the ass.
Are my clothes invisible too? If not, I'd walk into the bank naked and stuff the money up my arse.
prolly wouldn't notice
You’re loved brother ❤️
work with a magician to help them become the best illusionist / magician ever
Follow my boss around all day at work to see what he actually does all day.
Invisibility for a day and you'd use it just to piss yourself off. Interesting choice.
Not only that but spend it at work.
Go on stage with politicians and do things like grab their hand and make them rack themselves on TV. Or when they're drinking water, tip the cup or squeeze the bottle so they spill it down their front and face. Or trip them, kick under their foot while they're walking, pants them, fish hook them while they're talking, stuff like that. I'd also slap my wife's butt more because she couldn't turn away during my approach, then she slaps my butt as I'm turning to try and get hers.
> Or trip them, kick under their foot while they're walking, Some dont need any help with this.
I would go to my son’s daycare and enjoy watching him have fun with friends at school to see what he is like when he is not around us. I feel like it would be fascinating.
If I could be invisible for a day, I'd probably spend it exploring and observing the world in ways I normally couldn't. I'd visit crowded places or those usually off-limits to get a unique perspective. Watching how people go about their daily lives without knowing they're being observed would be fascinating. Of course, I'd make sure to respect people's privacy and use the opportunity to learn, not intrude.
If I could be invisible for a day, I'd explore hidden or crowded places and observe people’s daily lives unnoticed. It would be fascinating to see the world from this unique perspective while respecting everyone's privacy.
strip naked. dont want to really call attention to myself. then im gonna walk around an MLB field and watch the game from the best angle possible.
Then forget its already the end of the day
It just had to go to extra innings
I'd visit my brother and his little daughter to see how they are doing since he broke up the contact with all family members
Strangely this is one of the nicest comments here
Unless they are the reason they cut off contact
I’d sneak into Congress and slap everyone, one-by-one… Over and over again. Bipartisan slaps… No party is off limits. You think I’m spending too much time slapping Democrats like AOC and Rashida Tlaib? As soon as I see a Republican like MTG or Dan Crenshaw snicker when the I slap Chuck Schumer, I’d be sure to reach across the aisle and slap them too. As far as I’m concerned, I am an Independent Slapper.
Then, when they stand up..... kick them in the butt. And whisper in their ear, "This is your lord and savior, and I'm watching you." That should screw with their mind. Sure, that's a lot of slapping and kicking. I think it would be worth it.
[удалено]
Floating twinkies would be a trip haha
Who you gonna call?
Twink busters?
Sounds like either a homophobic group or some weird furry group or sth like that
Get money, gold, riches... I would find a way...
How though, that's kinda the interesting bit to this question. It's not actually an easy job. Obviously the money is the only thing to go for, it'll pay for the rest of your life fun. But how do you get it without getting caught? Most thieves may as well be invisible when they commit the crime, but it's all the evidence before and after the theft that screws them over.
Yeah how to do it is the question. Unless you can somehow get vault access to a major bank you are only getting like 10 or 20k robbing a bank. Not bad and I guess if you rob ten banks that day you get a decent chunk. But that's not "never work another day in your life" kind of money, which is what I'd want.
For example, you go to a pawn shop, steal some jewelery and stash it away somewhere near an outside window, a back door. You can erase the recording easily. The same with a shop or a bank even. Also...if I put a gold ring in my mouth and I'm invisible...will it become invisible as well?
What recording? You start by stealing the cameras.
I would spend the day moving people's stuff around. Your tooth brush is in the kitchen, your phone is in the garage, your car keys are in the dishwasher, of course. The gnomes have been doing it to me for years. Now I get to be the gnome!
Depends on if anything I take becomes invisible with me.
Id go to a church and lift a Jesus statue
Nah lift up a statue of some god the majority of populace hasn't ever heard about. That'd be funnier
A statue of some unknown deity is just going to make people think about ghosts, a floating Jesus statue at a synagogue on the other hand would be pretty funny. Heck even floating Jesus at Southern US Catholic churches would be funny, just make it black Jesus or Middle Eastern Jesus. A floating Obama might be better though.
Beat off on the train. This time I'll get away with it for sure.
Would the cum also be invisible?
Think about the options. Option 1 all your organic components are transparent. You'd be like those see-thru fish so if you eat something people could see it. Maybe cum would be invisible since it has cells with your DNA but your poop probably isn't. Option 2, your skin somehow bends light or changes color to make your outer layer invisible. So anything leaving your body suddenly becomes visible.
There was some book where the invisible man's flesh is only invisible when the cells are alive. At some point he got injured and his blood was visible. I read that book like 10 years ago so this is basically the only thing I remember
The outer layer of skin and hair and nails are mostly dead cells though
Check out nature more freely. There's a ton of ways animals can tell I'm there, but many do run when they SEE us. I'd like to get a closer look.
Lotta ppl on this thread are dangerous 😂
Go to Nvidia and steal a RTX 5090
And then you are left with a device and no drivers for it
Two chicks at the same time
Got to go steal that million dollars first
It was supposed to be FRACTIONS of a penny! This is not a small problem, MICHAEL!
I mean, I have the same thought, but there are so many questions. If you're invisible, how do you convince them to do it? And if you can, then why not do it when you're visible? And if you can't convince them, then you're basically going to rape a couple chicks?
Fucking A man.
Try to overthrow the north korean government.
Invisible gulag 🫥
I would infiltrate the labs of various food companies to obtain their secret recipes.
You'll probably be so disgusted that you never eat anything processed again
I'd sneak into my best friends house and give him a bl*w job.
Hey it's me your best friend I totally can't see you today
Ahh! I'm blind, all of a sudden
Wtf
Your invisible so how would he know it was you or me in this case.
Can't lie I screenshot this and sent this to my best friend loool
...so they know you want to blow them?
Well I'm hoping he gets the invisibility and he can take it as a suggestion
Brilliant.
Chances are he’d probs like it if he could see you still? Go get that bone.
sending him to the psych ward with this one 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
You
Probably go to the physics department at the local university and see if they can learn anything from the phenomenon. Might not be much they can figure out if it's truely magical in nature, but it seems like the only other options are immoral, illegal, annoying or pervy.
This is very altruistic of you except for when the research leads to terrifying new ways of warfare.
I would stand next to hot women getting riz’d, then fart really loudly and make sure it was a stinker.
Oh fuck yeah 😩
Username checks out
You should give her what she wants
FFS Once again, username checks out
What technique would you use to guarantee “it’s a stinker”?
My wife makes a bell pepper salad thing with red, yellow, and green bell peppers, yellow onion, tomatoes, and feta with an olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. Guaranteed stinkers.
You ever watched Hollowman?
Sneak into wright patterson air force base and find the ufos, take pictures and video, some tech then give it to every news agency in the world. Other options include: Going to tax havens like cayman islands and burning everything to the ground Grab incriminating evidence to take down some asshole politicians Murdering any dictator I can get to typing that made me feel a little insane but hey, how likely is invisibility?
Same thing I do every day, try to take over the world. Narf !
I feel like commenting on a post with more than 1000 comments makes me invisible. Will anyone actually read this?
Sneak somewhere where I could have access to all proofs of politicians frauds, then release it to public.