Puck
I saw the island of "Phucket" on the news when I was a little kid and pronounced it how it looked loudly and proudly to my mom
I learned a new word that day
Imagine all the little cells at their levers shouting "discharge secretions!" at every naughty thought or pus adjacent malfunction. I bet they hate that.
Reminds me of the joke about the guy at a fancy restaurant asking the waitress for a "quickie." After she storms off, the maitre'd approaches him and says "monsieur, it is pronounced *quiche*."
My grandma to this day still says jiggers as an expression of shock. Basically her version is gee golly or something.
It always felt weird hearing it said
I was looking through job postings for a government contractor (Booz Allen) and they were looking for both a "penetration tester" and a "backdoor analyst". I think they should probably also look for someone who is better at coming up with job title names
I love the Internet Historian video in which he reads My Immortal and just starts giggling at the misuse of that word and then explains that it means chewing. It kills me every time!
I asked a new restaurant coworker to pass me a rag and she went off on a tirade about how that's a disgusting word and I should never use it like that. She looked dumbfounded when I told her everyone there used rag and towel interchangeably. She must've recently moved or came from a really conservative upbringing because she seemed too young to have a hangup on a word like rag.
It won't catch the misuse of pubic rather than public. Or asses instead of assess. I still have nightmares about nearly submitting at least one or two instances of writing "to asses the pubic sphere" in my dissertation...
A kid in my high school chemistry class pronounced spatula "spa-two-la" in the context of "what the hell is a spatula". He's still a friend of mine and still gets roasted for this over a decade later
Same here, but in middle school! I recall also using “Anti-CUE” for Antique and “Leg It A Mate” for legitimate, and dozens of other horrible pronunciations from mis-phonetic reading. It landed me in speech therapy.
English as a written language is ridiculous. It would be logical for words to be written how they should be pronounced.
in German, the word for "sheath" is the same as "vagina" (Scheide).
well, we have multiple words for "vagina", but "Scheide" is usually the word used by gynaecologists. it just feels weird to say
It’s also fallen out of popular usage a long time ago.
People only bring it up to start a fake argument about using it to mean something completely different from the “actual” N word.
True, but it's still in some popular things. It shows up once in Lord of the Rings. So does a certain word referring to a chunk of wood, that has since been turned into a slur.
Eh, depends what you mean by a long time ago. It still feels like a perfectly normal word to me and was used commonly in my childhood (UK, 80s and 90s). I wouldn’t use it now because of the potential misunderstandings. And yes some people certainly use it now to be provocative but i don’t think that’s always or necessarily the case.
"Penetrate." It's a perfectly innocent thing to do in a business meeting until you realize that everyone is trying not to make eye contact. Suddenly, your market penetration strategy sounds like the title of a rejected adult film.
The name of the construction worker that holds the stop/slow sign when a road is being worked on is called "flagger". And that just...that really feels like a compound slur.
Prophylactic as in prophylactic measures aka to prevent something from happening. When used in a corporate setting, there are countless opportunities to use that word in planning sessions, will cause fantastic awkwardness.
Blue tits, great tits, (blue footed) boobies and other fowl words.
I see what you did there
You’re kind of bullshitting with this joke, when neither tits nor boobies are fowls.
Yeah, it's fair say I to cocked it up, but it seemed good for a lark.
Dong. Just under 100M people may see it, say it, touch it, or exchange it every day. It is the currency of Vietnam
Also the Vietnamese name "Phuc" I swear people just pronounce it wrong on purpose
How’s it pronounced?
It’s obviously pronounced fu-
Kinda like "fuck" but the "u" is /u:/ instead of /^ /
thanks i understand now
Thanks for the transcription. For those who don't know IPA notation, it rhymes with *Luke*, not *luck*.
*Ohhh*
Oh... Totally...
Puck I saw the island of "Phucket" on the news when I was a little kid and pronounced it how it looked loudly and proudly to my mom I learned a new word that day
I had the same with "Grand Prix"
Meanwhile they name places like pho king, lol. They know!
That always reminds of this scene: https://youtu.be/4PnzJjs60dM?si=HzH1O_C-yTxUo7eM
Do rappers there talk about their fat stacks of dong? As in "I be stackin MAD dong, yo"
I’ve always felt weird about “discharge”
There is a boss in Dark Souls named 'Ceaseless Discharge" that has been used to make so many jokes
"They make a cream for that."
That's what your mother calls me
I don’t get it.
yeah that's a weird one. Same with "secretion"
Imagine all the little cells at their levers shouting "discharge secretions!" at every naughty thought or pus adjacent malfunction. I bet they hate that.
Cock, as in a male bird (noun) or readying a gun to fire (verb).
What if the cock was near a pair of tits? Or some nice boobies?
Or you were cocking your pistol to take a shot at a boobie or a tit?
Reading this, you all need a shag.
"Let me knock you up in the morning."
Also caulk (pronounced cock) is the bane of construction workers.
Have you tried schaffers [big black caulk](https://youtu.be/tbazGVrbN-g?feature=shared) (SFW-ish)
It’s not pronounced cock, it’s pronounced as it’s spelled but often quickly said and sounds similar.
Also [coke](https://youtu.be/FiJd_d8I-iE?si=pWL8ShABgBc_fW7V) if you're learning English
University of South Carolina is the GameCocks. They sell shits that just say "Go Cocks"
Shits
Other South Carolina schools include Furman University ("FU") and Bob Jones University ("BJU"). It's a fun state for higher education.
I bought a Finlandia university hat I found at a thrift store only because it says FU on the front.
You can also cock your head to the side. English is fun!
Very good! I didn't think about that one!
“You can prick your finger but you can’t finger your prick” - George Carlin
I got some really weird looks when I went to an Asian restaurant and ordered an enema instead of edamame.
Reminds me of the joke about the guy at a fancy restaurant asking the waitress for a "quickie." After she storms off, the maitre'd approaches him and says "monsieur, it is pronounced *quiche*."
Henry Cho’s dad.
Damn, that sucks. Did they at least administer it in private?
American Egg Pie
Or something off a brassiere instead of a brazier?
"It's round back."
weenus
I'm looking at the weenus rn, Janice, and I'm not happy.
Everybody do the Weenus!
The Weenus is a dance!
Everybody is a genius!
Who knows it in advance!
I've learned that "pants" can mean something entirely different while in the UK.
And do NOT substitute "knickers"
Yes , and while in Turkey, I found out "um" refers to lady parts. And I say it all the time😬
How do they lag in speech then?
They use vagina as their filler word.
dün...vagina... sokakta yürüyordum
Can you fit your pants into your fanny pack?
Once said the brand name “smiggle” and got accused of saying the N-word by a child That was a hole i had to dig myself out of.
Fortunately "knickers" has fallen out of fashion.
Knickerbockers
My grandma to this day still says jiggers as an expression of shock. Basically her version is gee golly or something. It always felt weird hearing it said
Or the instruments a bartender uses to measure alcohol
The words erect and penetrate when used non-sexually always make me giggle. Erecting a statue. Penetrating the defense. Shits funny.
All part of keen social intercourse.
I was looking through job postings for a government contractor (Booz Allen) and they were looking for both a "penetration tester" and a "backdoor analyst". I think they should probably also look for someone who is better at coming up with job title names
This is in the same vein as "seminal."
Penetrate’s a very common term for parasitism and infection. Like, “You need to use a bandaid so more bacteria don’t penetrate your skin.”
Masticate
I love the Internet Historian video in which he reads My Immortal and just starts giggling at the misuse of that word and then explains that it means chewing. It kills me every time!
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“So it’s a girl house”
Holy shit I got that reference
Holy shit
God I feel old...
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And of course I had the exact same reply as the other comment 🤦♂️
😂😂 I got this straight away haha
Wow, that's a niche reference
I'm gonna bang your uvula so good
I asked a new restaurant coworker to pass me a rag and she went off on a tirade about how that's a disgusting word and I should never use it like that. She looked dumbfounded when I told her everyone there used rag and towel interchangeably. She must've recently moved or came from a really conservative upbringing because she seemed too young to have a hangup on a word like rag.
[Wankel Rotary Engine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wankel_engine).
That bloke is an absolute wankel rotary engine
[Are you embarrassed easily?](https://youtu.be/2gm29WZpBJc?si=JyDyH5EgGM5ODTYN)
Spellchecker changed all mentions of PRN to porn. All of them. In a report that had to be sent in for a court hearing.
It won't catch the misuse of pubic rather than public. Or asses instead of assess. I still have nightmares about nearly submitting at least one or two instances of writing "to asses the pubic sphere" in my dissertation...
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A kid in my high school chemistry class pronounced spatula "spa-two-la" in the context of "what the hell is a spatula". He's still a friend of mine and still gets roasted for this over a decade later
Does he have the nickname spatula? Because if he doesn’t, y’all aren’t true friends.
He's actually got a funnier nickname for a different reason but I'm afraid he'll somehow stumble upon my account if I say it
Same here, but in middle school! I recall also using “Anti-CUE” for Antique and “Leg It A Mate” for legitimate, and dozens of other horrible pronunciations from mis-phonetic reading. It landed me in speech therapy. English as a written language is ridiculous. It would be logical for words to be written how they should be pronounced.
I still see the word hypocrite also "hype oh crite" every time.
That's cute lol
In high school, reading *Thanatopsis* aloud, a student read “one who wraps the drapery of his *cooch,*” instead of *couch.*
Did people laugh? Even the ones who had no idea why others were laughing but just joined in to be part of something?
Try casually dropping "panties" into a meeting and watch your colleagues' faces turn every shade of awkward
Panties, not the greatest thing in the world, but they're right next to it.
Explain the reason it would be said in the meeting, that would not mean women's underwear.
Coming, every time I say it or here someone say it I have to try not to laugh
Saying "nipple" in any context other than a medical one can cause people to suddenly remember they have somewhere else to be
Plumbing.
Smearing dope on ripples all day is not as fun as it might sound.
in German, the word for "sheath" is the same as "vagina" (Scheide). well, we have multiple words for "vagina", but "Scheide" is usually the word used by gynaecologists. it just feels weird to say
I always thought Explicit was a sexual word and I always felt embarrassed using it even though its not.
even as a person of color, I would still say "nig·gard·ly"
The etymology of the word has nothing to do with the other word.
It’s also fallen out of popular usage a long time ago. People only bring it up to start a fake argument about using it to mean something completely different from the “actual” N word.
True, but it's still in some popular things. It shows up once in Lord of the Rings. So does a certain word referring to a chunk of wood, that has since been turned into a slur.
Eh, depends what you mean by a long time ago. It still feels like a perfectly normal word to me and was used commonly in my childhood (UK, 80s and 90s). I wouldn’t use it now because of the potential misunderstandings. And yes some people certainly use it now to be provocative but i don’t think that’s always or necessarily the case.
Bitch. As in female dog
Moist. But said in a slow exaggerated way
So many people hate this word, but a *moist* chocolate cake is absolutely divine…and there isn’t another way to properly describe it.
Yeah, a wet chocolate cake sounds way, way worse.
How about a *damp* chocolate cake?
That sounds like moldy cake.
Yeah, like forgotten in the basement for two days
I know! Damp chocolate cake!
Isn't that just Tres Leche?
I think that’s soggy chocolate cake isn’t it?
Just like there’s no other better way to explain that amphibians, worms, and mollusks have moist skin to permit respiration.
It’s appropriate sometimes
Ewwww
Yep
Moist panties. You’re welcome.
Titular.
Caulk
"Did you know you can use your caulk gun to cut the tip off your caulk?" "Hey guys 🥲"
Creamy
The word that means a small beam of sunshine breaking through or a small hole in someone’s armour. Means something else too.
Shuttle cock in badminton… 🏸 as opposed to birdie I guess
Penetrate
Whenever I say penetrate I feel like there's a tiny Trent Reznor sitting on my shoulder.
Ejaculated- to say something suddenly and quickly. E.g. "that will do!" he ejaculated.
Watson (from Sherlock Holmes) ejaculates quite a bit in the books, which always gives me a giggle.
Ahh yes! That's where I read it thank you! No wonder there's a huge gap between stories, recovery must've been intense!
HAH yeah no kidding! The man works hard, that's for sure!
Bonus points if you're listening to the Stephen Fry audiobooks as he talks about Watson's ejaculations.
Yeah, I’ve said that while I ejaculated too.
That'll do, pig, that'll do.
Ejac-ception.
Anal...
Moist. Just something about it...
"Penetrate." It's a perfectly innocent thing to do in a business meeting until you realize that everyone is trying not to make eye contact. Suddenly, your market penetration strategy sounds like the title of a rejected adult film.
The name of the construction worker that holds the stop/slow sign when a road is being worked on is called "flagger". And that just...that really feels like a compound slur.
Exacerbate
In Australia if you hear people say "Thongs" (Flip flops) or "Budgy Smuggler" (Swimsuit/Speedo)
Surprised no one has said "Come"
No one wanted to be first
Come As in "come here" I felt weird every time I use it
Whenever writing it, my brain switches to a thesaurus for alternatives. The problem is some of those are turning dirty, like arrive.
Mastication, moist, bitch, cock, knob, erection
Bifurcation
Errected.
In medicine, you learn to say: "the wound has a prurulent discharge" rather than saying it was "pussy"
Discharge
Abort
“Dongle” as in the hardware. Some people give weird looks when they hear that one lol
Splurge
Prophylactic as in prophylactic measures aka to prevent something from happening. When used in a corporate setting, there are countless opportunities to use that word in planning sessions, will cause fantastic awkwardness.
Fanny pack. Fanny is termed as “Womens private parts” in the UK.
Erection, as in a structure
Weinerlicious
c\*nt
But
Stool 🤢
If we include other languages, negros, it’s literally just Spanish for “black”
Gadget
Turgid
Come
Y'all Ain't
‘Security’ isn't a dirty word, Blackadder. 'Crevice' is a dirty word, but 'security' isn't.
I remember the first time I heard about "poutine" it sounded dirty to me, but it's actually delicious gravy, fries, and cheese curds.
Jew. It can be good or bad depending on how you say it.
It could also be "you" in certain accents