I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught.
Why... Just why? It's not as if you can just whip it out and go at it either, so it's basically 2 hours of self torture. And in an office setting, surrounded by colleagues, and your boss? Those are the least sexy people I can imagine, not because they're ugly or anything, but because they're my coworkers, and my mind is usually never further away from sex than when I'm stuck in an office, working.
This was over a decade ago but I'm thinking maybe his plan was to go to the bathroom at some point and rub one out in the stall while thinking about the porn he'd watched. Again though, this was 2011. Smartphones were a thing so it's not like he couldn't watch some porn in the bathroom lol
New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer.
"I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR.
Edit: spelling.
Years ago I was pulled over for ride check out in the country middle of no-where around 10:30 in the morning. Ociffer: "Have you been drinking?" Me (taken by surprise): "Who would start drinking this early?" He just nods down the lane, there's a dude who looks like Lebowski finishing his beer beside his beat-up old Camaro.
I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"...someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck. He just shot back something about having a job now which didnt make sense because he hadnt even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms.
I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation.
I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired.
Guy: "You mean don't do this?" *puts one foot on the floor*
And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed.
I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the ass for two days.
He did he just wanted to play power games by bending the rules little by little, making everyone accept his BS. That kind of approach can work with weak bosses but you have to be pretty stupid to try it.
We had a coop start who couldn’t do anything for a whole month. No computer no online training, couldn’t go into the lab without it. Whole. Month. Wasted.
We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him.
Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn’t let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day.
How would he have been allowed off the plane? Wouldn't that be assault and wouldn't he have been arrested on the plane or as soon as it landed by someone?
I flew with a co-worker in the late 90's who joked about having a bomb when boarding the plane because he thought it was funny. They lightly scolded him for it but that was it.
My grandfather made a joke to the stewardess about planning on hijacking the plane to fly it somewhere warmer (on a flight to chicago in winter) in the 90s. The stewardess laughed and told another stewardess who thought it was funny and brought him a Hawaiian shirt, pink flamingo sunglasses, and straw hat someone lost on an earlier flight.
When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Fuck bitches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job.
A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them.
About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference.
> he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them.
I'm surprised he didn't just use everyone as references without consent or informing
It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after.
Our ceo rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it.
New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes “I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off.” Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours.
When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again.
A colleague of mine has a mock motivational poster that goes something like: Dance like nobody is watching. Email like you're reading it aloud at a deposition.
I worked in construction for eight years. Guys would quit all the time but the fastest was this kid named Austin. Austin was rail thin and wouldn't stop looking at his phone. Our boss told him to run a wheelbarrow full of dirt to a pile and he sighed before trudging over to it. The kid moved that wheelbarrow maybe fifteen feet, set it down and started looking at his phone again. Boss asked him what he was doing and he said it was "too hard" and he was calling his girlfriend to pick him up. Austin lasted a grand total of five minutes.
Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as shit on the 1st day of the job.
Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office.
I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie.
I've been doing call centre work for a few years now, I don't mind it and it's zero stress/responsibility work that I can just put down the moment the clock ticks past kicking out time.
I've seen shitloads of new people not last the first day, most walk out but a few have been brilliant crazies. We had one girl who within an hour of starting had signed up to a number of job search sites using the 'helpteam' email address that the whole centre uses (hundred or more of us) and all our emails suddenly started pinging with results for her job searches. She used her own name on all the accounts yet still fervently denied it when pulled up about it. We were in stitches. Because she just wouldn't admit it and lied to the faces of the supervisors on shift they had to call in the big boss on a Sunday to give her the heave ho, it was excellent entertainment.
I've seen lots now though, junkies on the nod, junkies with swinging jaws and 3 teeth, crazy guy with the knife (he was really funny, at one point just stomping around the break room talking to himself saying "knife,knife,knife" over and over again), people who have clearly exaggerated their way through an interview and then panicking when faced with the job, all sorts. We once had someone start who was there a few hours before someone realised she'd been sacked from another area of the business for theft.
Yes. All of this. Did a stint training for a call center, 6 weeks of full time training and tests.
My favorite two were the woman who bluffed her way through the interview and didn’t know how to use a mouse; and the two women put in my class who were apparently mortal enemies and would intentionally sit next to each other so they could constantly goad each other. Only time I lost my cool in a class - told them one had to move and they took it as an opportunity for another fight. I ended up slamming my hand on the table, yelling at them to both shut up, and told who to move.
I felt bad but the rest of the class said it was fine and needed. Both ladies were fired the next day for getting into a knife fight in the parking lot after work.
I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "fuck you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer.
Real play: erase 30 peoples debts. They wont know which was was him, it will make it more difficult to prosecute/sue. Also he was a fool to just ghost. Should have made it less obvious to avoid suspicion.
15 minutes.
Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts.
First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in.
He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'.
Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for.
Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved.
Is zero minutes a duration? LOL
3 1/2 hours. She started the same day as me. Part way through the morning I told a couple of jokes to break the ice. She said she had a couple of good ones and started off with "What do you call a n****r who...."
She went for lunch and never returned.
Damn! Sounds like a coworker I had at Target who was terminated after a manager overheard her saying something like “I’m sorry but white is right and I don’t know what else to say”
I've jokingly said "white is right" at work, but I'm also very obviously Mexican and I was working as a line cook. Not even the most offensive thing said in the kitchen that day. I wouldn't dare say that at a more professional job though, not even as a joke.
Fucked the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired.
The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners.
Not a coworker, but ME.
Saw a posting for a hostess at a local Chinese food buffet in town and got an interview the same week and started the week after.
First day I go in and it’s a Saturday. The head hostess was showing me all the ropes, while telling me how much of a hardass the owner was and to say yes or no answers only if she addressed me.
Behind the counter where we would grab our menus and silverware was two mini fridges side by side laying flat so it was no taller than my knees on the bottom shelf & they held all the alcoholic beverages, but it also held all of the employee drinks.
Customers are coming and going and I have this system where id just reach down and grab a beer and the owner flutters around and puts her drink in the mini fridge directly under me. I didn’t think anything of it until it was time for the next customer to want a beer so I go to grab a beer and full blown smacked the owners drink into the fridge and all over the floor so when I said “omg I’m so sorry” the owner came around the counter and told me to go home. I told her I’d clean it up but she told me no. I honestly felt like crying.
Total was around 4 hours, I didn’t even make it past the lunch rush. Very embarrassing & never got paid for that either.
Worked in a warehouse. Minimum staff, temp workers during peak times.
Ask my boss for a temp or two for the next day as I wasn’t keeping up and we had a truck coming in.
I get one temp. I put him to work cleaning and sorting a corner of the warehouse while I got as many orders pulled as I could before the truck came in.
15-20 minutes later I go looking for him, and he’s not where I asked him to be. I find him in the other end of the complex, pushing a broom.
I drag him back to the corner I’d brought him in to sort.
10 minutes later, around 9am, the truck arrives as scheduled and we need to get it unloaded. I go looking for him. Not in his corner. Find him sweeping again.
I tell him the truck showed up. I bring him to the loading dock and I climb up inside to get the top row out. I pass a handful of boxes to him.
“Is this what we do?”
“Yes, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week”
“This is too hard. I’m going home”
I hop out of the truck and walk him to the boss’s office. Never saw him again.
Total time: barely more than an hour.
I was a temp worker at a small college as a janitor. Real skate job, lot of it was empty the office trash cans and push a broom up and down some hallways. Spent half the evening sitting in one of the offices listening to a radio and I even took movies as they had VCRs in the class rooms. It really was that easy of a job.
Boss told me they had one temp who's brother lived down the street. He would clock in a 4 and they wouldn't see him until clock out at midnight, wouldn't even empty the trash cans. Didn't do a damn thing all evening and was only about a two hour job on the tough days.
I had gig cleaning libraries at night. The company I worked for was about to lose the contract due to them being unhappy with the work the crew had been doing. My whole thing is going into new situations, learning them and then finding how to improve them.
So we had a set number of places we had to keep up. It didn't matter how long we took to do it, as long as the place was clean and all our tasks done we were gold. I noticed some big tasks - like dusting or cleaning all the study cubes, etc - would only get so dirty every day. With that in mind I worked out a way we did a section of each big task each visit. So if I dusted 1 section a time, by the end 2 weeks I would have completed all of them and would be back to the first section. But since I did such a good job of cleanings since I was able to focus on a smaller part - it never really got dirty. By the time it would, I would be back to clean it.
This simple change saved the contract.
First day at a CPA firm, guy gets a talking to from management because he followed a group of female coworkers to a restaurant at lunch, sat at a nearby table, and stared creepily at them for the entire meal.
He got fired a couple of days later for logging into and using a coworker's computer without permission. Never heard what he was doing on that computer, but I think it's pretty safe to say it was something that he didn't want to use his own computer for.
Punter-
(Australia, Britain, New Zealand, slang) One who gambles. ... (Britain, Australia, slang) A customer of a commercial establishment, frequently of a pub or (alternatively) of a prostitute.
I was a recruiter for an investment bank about 15 years ago. I recruited a Business systems analyst for a long-term contract position. On her first day she showed up to work a half an hour late. Her new boss showed her around a bit, got her to her cube, gave her some first day stuff to review and left her to it. About an hour later I got the call. she had passed out in her chair and pissed herself. They had a hard time arousing her but when they did it was clear she was wasted and got belligerent when they asked her to leave. Security got involved. It’s unclear whether she was drunk from the night before or chugged booze in the office. Either way, she was fired by about 10:30am on Monday morning!
Showed up early to work on her first day to eat. We worked at Firehouse subs, and she came in with Subway and started eating in the lobby while in uniform. The boss asked her nicely to eat in the back so customers wouldn't see. She started screaming and throwing a fit so boss told her to leave and not come back. Idk if you can really even say she got fired. She never clocked in once.
guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in.
Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild.
Guy at a fish factory lasted half a shift before he was fired for refusing to adhere to any health and safety rules.
Later got told it wasn't uncommon for people like that, they had to be seen to be applying for jobs to keep their benefits, would lose them if they quit, but could get them back immediately if fired.
Not fired but quit.
New admin joins the team, gets escorted around to meet everyone. Next day shes gone. I asked someone and they said "She was told there was a background check and just left"
You accept a job at a gov facility and dont think they are going to look into your past?
i still wonder what she had that she figured it wasnt worth waiting to get fired for.
Happened last week:
New IT hire.
34 year old. First full time job. Good qualifications. Seemed OK.
First night, staff calls me. He is spamming ladies with messages on their private phones.
On lady's husband calls me. Her camera is on non stop.
He also installed software to switch on their cams remotely.
On day one.
He wasn't allowed back on the premises.
I’m late to the party but wanted to share anyway. This wasn’t a firing, but an employee quitting.
I used to work in a family owned restaurant. The father of the family (head chef and my main boss) was very homophobic and wasn’t afraid to tell you that he was. He had just hired a new line cook, a young woman who was very quiet but friendly.
She clocks in for her first shift and is putting her apron on when my boss comes running to the back and is over dramatically washing his hands. I ask him wtf is going on and he said “was just talking with a customer out there and after we shook hands he revealed he was gay… I need to wash the gay off of me”
New employee got wide eyed, and stood there while my boss dried his hands and went back to the main kitchen area. She starts taking her apron off and goes over and clocks herself out. “What are you doing?” I asked. She says “long story short, I’m gay. It was nice meeting you.” And she slipped out of the back door never to be seen again.
Total time on the job: about 5 minutes.
me too. Glad she was able to stand up for herself.
And she doesn't even count that as a TIFU. That's not a f-up. That's realizing you are better than the place you are at, and nope-ing out.
edit: I wouldn't say she lasted 5 minutes on the job. I would say the job lasted 5 minutes before she left out of self respect.
My brothers friend “chuck” got a job at the Subaru dealership in our town, within a couple days of working there, he somehow was allowed to “test drive” one of the brand new models. My brother and I lived a few miles out of town on 40 acres. chuck drove that brand new car out to our property to test the 4 wheel drive. Well it being a wet Pacific Northwest winter it was that year, he swiftly managed to get the car stuck in almost a foot of mud halfway up a good size hill. It took a tow truck 3 hours to get there and an hour plus to pull him out. All the while the dealership is calling him asking wtf? The thing was DRENCHED in mud from him spinning the tires. He was fired that night...
The place I worked at had a required two weeks of training they they were very upfront about. You were given a schedule ahead of time and had to agree you could make it before being hired. Day one saw one person fired for leaving part way through the day. Day 4 saw another person leaving because she didn't like it.
Day 8 was a testing day to see what areas, if any, the class needed to spend more time on before moving to the in-person stuff with a trainer on the floor. A question was worded poorly and it caused a lot of confusion. The trainer said he would not count the question as many of us got it wrong due to its ambiguity. One of the girls in the training class told him "good, you should remove it or else no one would have found your body tomorrow". HR manager was literally standing in the doorway while that was being said and freaked out because threatening to murder a co-worker over a test question is the opposite of professional. Needless to say, that girl was told she wasn't the right fit for the company.
Worked on a logging crew 15 years ago. They hired a guy that “grew up on the farm working hard”… fired by noon day 1 because he literally looked like he was going to pass out and die after a few hours of “light duty” labor.
So many of these guys when I worked in landscape construction. They'd talk a big game about how strong they were/how hard they could work/how much energy they had and by noon, they'd be walking off the job site to their car or wanting a ride back to the shop.
I was in my 20's and got a job as a fencers assistant.
I was young and fit.
It was a hot summer day and some machinery broke down so we had to dig fence post holes by hand then mix concrete and spade it in.
By lunchtime I quit because I was unable to physically continue. The guy who had hired me was a nice bloke and let me sit in the shade for a couple of hours (we were out in the countryside, no transport) before driving me back home.
He was willing to let me try again tomorrow but I just couldn't do it.
Worked at Wendy’s. New guy comes in for his first shift. Evening shift in the drive-thru. He literally posted on his Snapchat where he was and what he was doing and told all his buddies to come through for free food. He started fucking up orders on purpose and handing his friends free stuff. Manager called the police and he got arrested.
Threatened the long term employees, including me the assistant manager, because they/we were younger than her, and shamed us and said "I've been in this industry longer than you! I know more. Okay?! Okay! Hahahaha". Granted, she had been in sales for 20 years, but if she was truly that good, she would have been hired on at a higher position. While screaming this, she was stomping her foot, slamming her fists on the table and standing just a few inches away from each employee when she'd state this.
She was an absolute loon, and tiny. Plucked out eyebrows, greasy skin and all. How she got a sales position? I do not know, but I do know she gave a sob story and begged for the job.
Needless to say when the big boss heard about it and she talked to her in the back she cried like I've never seen someone cry before. Instantly started, and instantly stopped once she was fired, and it was very very loud. She of course, claimed she never did anything worthy of getting fired.
To late to the party but my friend FINALLY got the sales job he had always wanted. They told him by phone around 4pm. He went out that night and got absolutely shit-faced drunk. Probably some coke too. He showed up at his new office in the morning and the boss said "Excuse me one moment". He came back around 10 minutes later, apologized, said they had hired the wrong guy, and fired him on the spot.
Worked at a shitty telemarketing job for awhile, and two people didn't make it through the training period. One woman was called up to HR on the first day, and just never came back - no idea what happened there. Another was an older lady that wasn't good at using the computer system, and was kind of stubborn and socially inept. She clashed with the instructor one too many times, and when she went into an "I don't need this job," rant, he immediately walked her over to HR so she could quit. Not quite a firing, more like walking up to a cliff's edge then being helped over.
Out of the four of us that finished training, one guy who kept disappearing for long periods of time was caught using drugs in the bathroom and fired maybe two weeks into the job. Another guy was genuinely good at the job, but was fired for running a credit check without permission, probably an honest mistake on his part. It was a high-turnover job. I saw about five or six people on my team get fired in the six months that I worked there. I was terrible at it, but somehow managed to hang on long enough to find something better and quit.
Worked at a sausage plant and other meats. Guy got fired on the first day before even working. We had to pass thru a machine that cleaned our shoes as we washed our hands. It had timed sensors. He couldn't get thru so he went back into the lunch room for an hour till the boss sent him home.
I was working in a small grocery store and we had a new butcher start. He rocked up and asked the boss to pay for his taxi because he didn’t have any money until payday.
He works for a few hours and then goes on lunch and never returns. We find out why when we go to close the till and it’s out by about $1000. So we check the cameras and watch him shove the cash into his big wellies.
The kicker though? He went to play the pokies and that’s exactly where the cops found him hours later, with some money still in his boot
I was part of a review where we realized the person was logging work from 7-9 and then nothing until after 5. They clearly had an entirely additional full time job.
There's a story about a guy who accepted two office jobs in the same building, though on different floors. He staggered the hours he spent on each, came in very early for one, stayed very late for the other, alternated during the day, and was apparently able to pull it off for a while. Wasn't until someone happened to be visiting from one job and saw him at the other that everything fell apart.
My brother's friend did that, only in his case when he was found out neither boss cared because they were in two different industries and he was the most productive employee either of them had
At orientation, when going over benefits.
Guy had been trouble the whole time talking about pay and benefits, apparently didn't have a bank account or anything so even paying him was a pain, he refused to get given a check for his pay so they basically had to give him a visa gift card every week, but health insurance was the final straw.
When it came to health insurance, there were 3 options. Besides relatively standard stuff one had an FSA (flexible spending account) and 2 with an HSA (I forget what the "H" stands for but it's another spending account). Money in the FSA disappeared at the end of the year, but the HSA would carry over to the next year. You couldn't pull money out unless it was for medical expenses. Most importantly for this discussion, *you do not have to put ANY money in them if you so not want to*, it was an opportunity for you to put money aside specifically for medical reasons.
This was completely unacceptable to this guy. Paraphrased a bit cause it was awhile ago, but basically it went like this:
"Why can't I take it out, it's money!"
HR: "if you're worried you won't spend it, don't have any taken out for it, it can have a balance of zero, that is not a problem"
"Why are you making me put money in an account won't use! Why can't I take it out if I don't use it, you can't just make it disappear!"
HR: "you don't have to put money in there, and if you want it to carry over just select one of the 2 plans without an FSA"
"I don't even WANT health insurance"
HR: "you have to, it's the law"
"This is bullshit! You're stealing from me! Why can't I just have MY money!"
HR: you know what? This is how it works, I've explained it multiple times, everyone else gets it. If you don't like it, the doors over there.
*Storms out*
HR: *calls security* "make sure he actually leaves, and that he doesn't get let in if he comes back"
> he refused to get given a check for his pay
I don't think you can refuse this. I guess you can refuse to cash them, which would annoy the accounting department.
Buddy lasted a few days. Every day he was on the job, he was drunk. Managed to say a few racists things, and kept saying everything we built was done in bad ways and he would redo it it all.
We still joke about this guy and how bad a hire he was.
New registrar (trainee grade doctor) started. IMG from somewhere rather socially conservative, good standard of English, very good references, and decent previous experience abroad.
First night resident on call he realised that the work computer in his Call room had virtually unfettered internet access as well as the ability to access patient data, so he used it to, um … satisfy his curiosity. The search history alone was definitely NSFW, never mind the pages accessed.
It’s unlikely he even collected a pay cheque he was out of the country so fast.
We had a young (20's) sales guy start, on his first day he asked one of my colleagues to "look at this" and showed him porn on his phone.
I look at porn. At home. And I have never said to my colleagues "hey, take a look at the sort of porn I like"
I had a new mechanic come In the shop out of orientation...so about 2 hours as an employee.
They sent home to me to show him some ropes in the shop.
What he didn't know is that im the owner/president/ ceo of the dealership ( heavy equipment and truck sales and service..380 employees)
I spend 2 days a week in the shop, because that's what I like to do, and ..well..its my company, so I can.
Within the first 5 minutes, he questioned my expertise....OK, no biggie...he doesn't know who am or anything about me, so I tell him " don't worry yourself , there's only 1 guy here who has more experience than I do.."
The next 5 minutes was him telling me I'm an idiot for doing something a specific way, and there's shortcuts I can take.( there is, but those shortcuts negate warranty payments)...so I tell him its a requirement to do it this way.
He rolls his eyes, then tells me" no one will ever know about it, and it'll help your flag hours "
I reply," it is 100% about doing the right thing...and that's how we operate her...we do the right thing by the customer, the manufacturer, and the company"
Then he says " I do right by me...not the idiot CEO , so he buy a new truck every year"
So I said " well, my truck is 12 years old, and this is your last day of work....Hi there, I'm the Owner....that's my name on the big sign" nodded to the floor manager and told him to process him out of my company.
Total time on job, 2.5 hours.
Be careful out there people...not all bosses wear suits and hide in offices.
I would love a boss who can actually do the job they employ people to do. I have had one boss who would jump in and help when it got really busy. I literally don't understand how anyone can make decisions on a work practice without actually doing it themselves
Depends on circumstances and what the bosses duties are.
My GM was once a skilled wrench, but he doesn't have time to jump in, even if he wanted to.
I'm in a position to choose, and I schedule myself 24 hours a week in the shop.( 2 days)
A new hire nurse on my floor was fired after 2 weeks when my manager found out her previous manager lied about her being a reliable worker to get rid of her. Also several nurses refused to train her anymore after one day because she had such a snotty difficult attitude.
Dad’s a mechanic, hires a guy who seems pretty knowledgeable, and actually has some tools that aren’t entirely from harbour freight (this was an issue with the last guy: all his tools were cheap and constantly breaking so he was taking Dad’s snap-on and matco tools… and not always returning them).
First job was oil change and brake job - takes a little longer than expected but it gets done. Dad was irked about the amount of time he spent on his phone, but chalked it up to a generational difference.
Next job before lunch requires him to drain the fuel tank and drop it to complete the repair (don’t remember what it was exactly, but plan was drain and drop, lunch, then finish the job after). Dad asked him three times if he had done it before and if he wanted help, but the guy declined and said he was good.
Dad wanders off to check on the other tech and go back to his own car he’s working on. He said his head was under the hood for all for 2 minutes before he hears the other tech scream/bellow his name and with a deer in the headlights look points where the rookie is working.
Car is up in the air, and the rookie had wheeled the acetylene torch wagon over and was attempting to light it.
Dad comes over in a hurry, and asks why he’s using the torch instead of taking the bolts out, and the rookie responds unconvincingly that this is the right way to do it. Then asks if he drained the fuel yet, and the rookie, still without stopping to play with the torch asks “what fuel?”
Dad turns off the tanks and orders him into the office.
Dad has a 5-10 minute conversation that basically reveals, as noted on the work order the fuel tank was 100% full, the torch would likely have melted the tank and caught fire, quite possibly catching other oils and fuels on fire, that the rookie actually had no knowledge and was googling everything, and didn’t even own the tools: they were borrowed and his plan was to replace them with his first pay check (from Harbour Freight).
Dad gave him a chance - “do you see what you did was wrong?” with the intention of if he came clean and admitted he was faking it and was willing to learn, Dad would keep him around (with a pay cut to make up for the lack of experience).
Dude doubled down on he didn’t do anything wrong and “fake it til you make it” was still his attitude.
Didn’t even make it to lunch that day.
Some cocktail waitress on her first day walked out with the main bar's tip jar. No one even noticed because we were so busy and thought she was getting ice or something. She got arrested, we never got paid.
I still wonder wtf happened to all that money.
Boss hired a vegan to work in the cafe were we do coffee and mainly breakfast food. So lots of eggs, cheese and meats and you know, milk. She reused to touch anything with animal products and lasted about 15 minutes. Not sure how she survived the interview process and didn't pick up on the use of milk in coffee drinks or what breakfast food had in it.
I wonder if the guy had come in to rob the place of steam codes and ghost the job. He’d then sell the $100 codes for $50. Maybe he wasn’t counting on the manager monitoring that in real time.
Or maybe he was a dumb dumb and thought the store could just generate credit for free?? Lol
It reminds me of a story my mom has from a pharmacy. A woman showed up said “I was sent over from to help, and the pharm was too overwhelmed to double check. The woman works for half shift, actually does the job correctly and well, then all of a sudden she’s gone and they’re missing a bottle of pain killer worth thousands of dollars.
I had a new hire show up for work the first day and asked her to go take a drug test, which was normal and totally expected (she knew when she accepted the job). Two days later the results come back positive for meth. She said, "that can't be!" So I told her she was welcome to go retake it. I gave her the paperwork and never saw her again. Kind of self-firing, I guess.
My roommate works at one of the restaurant in a hotel and they drug test for everything when they hire you. I think they only do it once unless you give them reason to test again. Most everyone working there is on drugs lol.
My boss hired this guy to work with the landscape team. His first day on the job was spent sleeping in the dump truck and hiding from the crew. The next day he was sent to our main office to pull weeds and other general easy stuff. He spent the day eating Doritos and talking on his phone. He was gone the following day.
Same here. Guy got hired into a senior management marketing position. We all knew after the first day, but it took two weeks to get the guy out the door.
I worked in a bulk grocery store (kinda like Costco, but not consumer facing) and there was a guy I know from high school hired. He was known to indulge in psychedelics pretty often, no problem, me too! This is in Canada so, no drug testing or anything.
He worked for maybe 3-4 shifts and came into work on his bicycle. He wore his helmet for most of his shift not realizing it was still on. Funny, but not means for dismissal.
I went to the washroom on my lunch break and he came stumbling in, vomited all over the place and fell and hit his head on a sink.
He exhibited some other strange behaviour during his shift and was not doing his job properly (ie. Staring off into space for several minutes at a time)
Near the end of his shift he was called on the p.a. to come to the managers office, they fired him. As he was packing up his stuff, our dingus managers who didn't communicate well called him over the p.a. to the other office and fired him again.
I ran into him months later, apparently he had taken 7-8g of mushrooms and realized last minute that he worked that day. At least he tried.
I was an assistant manager of a kids summer camp when I was in college (I was grossly under qualified). We hired some guy as a counselor who, by coincidence, was a friend of a friend of mine, so he thought I was his buddy and tried to take advantage of the tiny amount of power I had. He was actually pretty good with the kids, but had real problems with authority, particularly with women in authority, and the manager of the camp was a woman.
Well anyway, in just that first week he had several run ins with the boss over showing up on time, inappropriate language around the kids, taking long lunches, that sort of thing. He would then come complain to me to blow off steam and I mostly let him. Probably didn’t stand up for the woman in charge, if I’m being honest in retrospect.
Anyway, Friday we’re closing up and boss lady comes up, probably just to send him home for the day. He sees her coming and goes “Shit! Here she comes! Don’t move and maybe she won’t see us.” And he literally stands completely still and acts like he can’t hear her. She just looks at him, and then goes to me “You deal with him, I’m done.” I told him it was probably best if he didn’t come back on Monday.
Took about five minutes on their first day. I used to wait tables and I was training the new hire. Girl went into the bathroom to change into the uniform, female manager walked in on this girl mid-snort. We all had a good laugh because the manager was so shocked she backed out of the restroom and right into a customer who fell on another one in a weird domino effect.
I'm a technician at a higher-end car dealership. Some of our loaner cars are reasonably fast, performance-oriented cars. We had a new valet, one of the people who parks cars in for service, or takes service/loaner cars to be washed, etc. He had been there maybe a month. It is also important to mention here that our dealership is located directly across the street from the Central Precinct of the local police department.
New Valet (NV) was sent out on some sort of errand in one of the faster loaner cars. I don't know what he was doing or why, but it's not really relevant. Around that time I happened to be test driving a car that I had recently worked on and was maybe a minute behind him leaving the dealership, and headed in the same direction. I turned right into the road, a 4-lane road with a shared center turn lane. There is a gas station about a mile down the road I was headed towards. The police like to set up a speed trap right before the gas station, and I had actually seen one there on an earlier drive, and was prepared and going the limit.
Unfortunately NV was not prepared, and as I came up to the area I noticed him pulled over in the center lane, the police having obviously just pulled him over. I noted that it was one of our loaner cars, but wasn't able to tell who was in the driver seat until I had turned around at the gas station and was headed back to the shop. When I passed him on the way back, I also noted at that point that the regional manager's car was parked behind them. I sort-of laughed, but felt a bit bad for him, it's common to get caught going just a bit too fast in that area, hence the speed trap, but I hoped maybe it was just a misunderstanding or something.
I got back, and after about a half hour or so found out what happened from the Manager - NV was caught on laser doing 111mph (limit was 45mph). The regional manager was slightly behind me, and also noticed it was one of our loaners, and decided to stop to see what was wrong. In addition to NV being caught egregiously speeding, he had left his license/ID in his personal car, parked back at the dealership. I suspect my manager was able to intervene somehow to prevent NV from going immediately to jail, because they did I think manage to make it back to the dealership before he was fired faster than his speeding ticket.
I believe the loaner car in question is still in service, and we have affectionately nicknamed it "White Lightening," as it's a white coupé sports car. Don't worry, it's still perfectly safe to drive, it's the type of car than can easily handle 111mph and much more without any issues, and we service them regularly.
Tl;dr - new valet, about 1 month in, gets caught by police and the regional manager doing 111mph in a 45mph zone in a company car, with no ID on him. Somehow avoided jail time, but was fired absolutely instantaneously.
New guard on site , only been there 3 days. Takes the main key ring home by accident and loses it. 45,000$ dollars worth of locks to be replaced. Didnt make it 5 days
When I worked the prison system, one of my outside-recruited supervisors quit within an hour because inmate threw a shoe at him after he called the inmate a racial slur
I was working at Subway and had been for maybe 6-8 weeks and 2 new employees started. They were, in addition to being new employees at the same time, a couple who lived together at an apartment complex next door. Everything is fine for a couple days and then the woman comes in and looks… really bad. Like she was beaten badly. She wouldn’t say much but we all kind of assumed she had either been robbed or her bf beat the shit out of her. He comes in to essentially check on if she’s been good a couple hours into her shift and he starts screaming at her and shoving her and trying to punch our manager… he got fired. They still stayed together despite us all begging her to go to a shelter or look into resources to break free of him. She was terrified of him. And I bet she’s still with him if she isn’t dead.
Day 3 of orientation, dude falls asleep while the instructor was talking. He wakes him up and tells him that he would be let go if he fell asleep again which he didn't have to do. Not 10 minutes later he was asleep again. Escorted out
I worked in the kitchen at a college campus pizza pub and bar. A new waitress started her first shift on a Friday night shift from 3 - 10.
Any time an order is ready, the kitchen staff rings a bell to alert the servers. Well, her first table's food was ready so I rang the bell. 5 minutes pass, nothing. Gave it another ring. Another 10 minutes pass, nothing. I start asking other servers if they've seen her anywhere. Nothing. I send one server on a recon mission. She's still no where in the place.
After 25 minutes, during a dinner rush mind you, I left the kitchen in search for this phantom waitress. I found her out back at a table slamming shots with her friends. She was completely hammered.
Total employment time was like 45 minutes to an hour.
Not fired, but the fastest I've ever seen a person leave a job.
Day 2 for a temp worker at the factory. Nice dude, but very lazy which was saying something because his job was to fold disposable blood pressure cuffs and place them in an automatic bagger. That was if he wasn't taking a turn boxing them. (People rotated tasks every 30 minutes so it didn't get boring.) All in all, very low effort work for relatively decent pay in the area.
2nd day rolls around and we have to audit a pallet of cuffs because of a defect that was passed by accident. I think it was a print error on the packaging, I can't quite recall. Also very easy. Just take the cuffs out of the defective bags and toss them in bins to be rebagged. A lot of people like doing them because they can just shoot the shit for a couple hours while they work.
Dude looks at everyone setting up, and then sidles over to me to ask when the next bus was coming through the area as one was chartered by the factory for employees that needed it. I tell him and he takes off his work jacket and safety glasses and walks out the door.
Literally getting paid $14 an hour to do fuckall and that was too much. Maybe it was boring for him I guess, but we've had people that found the job boring still do it because they could make money while looking for a new job. You have to either do some real dumb shit to get fired, or just leave. It wasn't exciting but I found it all weird. It was like he couldn't muster a single fuck to give.
Several years ago, working as a lifeguard at the town pool, we get a new guy named Tim. Tim showed up to his first shift 30 minutes late, gets into the chair, and spends the entire rotation turned away from the pool. We were all very confused. The chair rotated on the stands, and he was actively facing away from the pool.
Turns out he was really hungry, and was enjoying the smells coming from the snack bar. This was the actual explanation he gave his new boss. He was fired in the first 15 minutes of his first rotation.
A true legend of stupidity.
Worked delivering beer for a few years. We ran through a lot of employees really quickly to the point where we would hire 3 at a time and hope one would stick. Fastest I ever saw was a guy came in for his first day at 7 am, got assigned to drive with a manager (because we were short staffed and the manager was driving routes), and was handed the keys and told to pull the truck into the dock. Never came to the dock. Manager goes looking for him ten minutes later, finds him finishing a beer in our repacking room. Is immediately let go. Twenty minutes on the job.
New girl blew a co-worker when everyone was out of the office doing pickups.
When we got back she looked like she just gave sloppy head and she was freaking out and couldn't stand the pressure anymore. She just blurted out "I BLEW DAN! AND THERES THE EVIDENCE!" and pointed to a splooge stain she spit out on the floor.
> Dan was consistently on top of the sales matrix.
I know corporate lingo is all the rage, but calling the new associate a “sales matrix” is taking things a little far.
One of my retail jobs had a new girl on her first day, walk into the bathroom, disappear for almost an entire hour, then come out the bathroom smelling like weed and looking nauseous. When the manager asks her what's wrong and if she's ok, she said that she thinks the drugs she bought from a customer (in the SAME bathroom, it was a public multi stall bathroom) made her sick. I've never seen someone go from concerned to pissed so quickly. She had only done about 5 minutes of work (she took exactly one register transaction before her bathroom break)
Christmas party and the girl who used to be the receptionist just got hired as an account person. She got crazy drunk that night, started grabbing dudes crotches, and HR took a car service with her home since they lived near each other. She threw up on the HR person on the way home. When they dropped her off at her parents home they said not to come back. I think she had the job for maybe two days.
We often get mandatory overtime where I work. Not too long ago a new girl started and got mandated her first weekend. Shit sucks, but she was told about mandation when she was hired, and that you can't call off when you're mandated unless you have a doctor's note. So Saturday comes around, and... she calls off for her mandatory OT. Thing is, she could have gotten by with it if she said she was having covid symptoms because there's clear policy around that (stay home, go get tested etc) - just go get a nose swab, it's probably negative, "oh, better to be safe" - that would've been it. But no - she called off her *mandated* OT on her *first* week and when our supervisor took her call she said "yeah I can't come in, I'm too hung over"
Never saw her again
Two candidates. Seen someone walked out less than a week on the job by police in cuffs at a call center for stealing credit card numbers. Second was at a hospital and in spite of the countless warnings they still decided to look up HIPAA information on a patient (a relative no less). You want to get walked out immediately from a job just screw around with HIPAA and find out.
Shelly got fired on her second day because she was out back showing off her pierced titties to underage coworkers. I've seen plenty of people quit after a day or two, but I don't think anyone else has gotten fired that quickly.
I was stripping in Oregon when a new hire chick comes in on her first shift. She starts talking trash about the oldest and frankly ugliest dancer in the joint loud enough for old Betty Rubble to hear. Betty comes up from behind, grabs her by the hair and slams her face against the mirrored wall until she passes out while holding both a lit cigarette and beer in her other hand like a pro. Boss fires new chick for talking smack once she comes to. Nothing happens to old Betty Rubble.
I stand there flabbergasted.
I worked at a fast food restaurant and one of the guys who’d been there a while was training a new guy. Halfway through the shift we had a rush and the new guy was trying to do the grill by himself while the other guy training him went on break. The manager started yelling that we needed burgers off the grill faster, and the new guy hurled a block of cheese right at him. I guess he didn’t realize who was yelling, but needless to say I didn’t see him again after that.
I hate it when they ask for stuff to be cooked faster like it takes the time it's takes if you want it faster it will be undercooked and I will give it you undercooked. The main thing i cooked(undercooked) was fish aswell
I work as a Valet in a 5* hotel in Canada and this dude started like 1 week before. He was told that someone with 2 boxes of pretty expensive champagne (Crystal for those interested) that he was going to offer to his employees during a seminar was coming and his job was to put the boxes in his room.
He did just that, except he took one for him and just left.
Police had to come by the hotel to report the theft and the client was pretty pissed (I can see why) but the valet never admitted the theft, even when we showed him the security camera footage.
A new mechanic did a oil change on a motorcycle and didn't out the drain plug back. So as the guy drives off oil sprays all over his tire and he wipes out and got run over
Chain Pizza restaurant early 2000s. The new guy interviewed well and was fairly likeable. He was there for about a week until the restaurant caught fire overnight. (Nothing to do with him, just a weird accident.) So, all the employees had to be transferred to one of the 2 other restaurants in the area while the fire damage was repaired and we both ended up at the same one. His very first shift at the new restaurant, he decided to clock in and leave before anyone saw him or could say anything to him. Unbeknownst to him, the RGM was sitting in his car in the parking lot on break and saw him come in and leave. Employee came back about 5 hours later and clocked out without anyone noticing. RGM checked payroll at the end of the night and saw the 5 hours that employee "worked" and terminated him over the phone the next morning. Weird scenario overall.
Ah! Forgot one more — a dude was turned down for a job before he even started.
I work in a hospital that hires a special interest group and goes extremely out of their way to provide a great environment for that group. Think, like, a mental hospital providing jobs for the insane and asking them to work at their own pace and just not fuck anything up.
It’s extremely difficult to get fired as a member of that special interest group, *AND* we’re unionized. You’ve gotta really fuck up to get fired, and probably consistently. Even if you do get fired, that special interest group will probably be hired again unless it’s a seriously fucked up situation. Seriously, we damn near just re-hired a guy convicted of attempted murder on the property against two of my coworkers.
Word got around that we were going to rehire a certain employee, and *literally every single department head told management that he wouldn’t be welcome to work in their department.* He’s pretty much been accused of sexually harassing employees everywhere he’s ever been employed.
Sounds like we won’t be re-hiring the failed murderer, either, but he was definitely not ruled out immediately just for the attempted murder.
This doesn’t quite fit, but it still astounds me.
We had an OpSec guy start in a role that we all thought another guy would be offered. Within a day or two, it was apparent her fudged most, if not all, of his resume. Rather than fire him (despite the industry in which we work and the role itself being based on integrity and honesty), they made the guy who should have been promoted into the role train this guy. However, because he likely had no experience in the field, he put in his resignation within a week and we never heard from him again.
During the same period of time, another new guy started, reached out to me to assist with a project, and turned in the original version without my inputs, and I came in the following day to a series of nasty e-mails from a manager (not my manager), and our chain of command. When I politely forwarded everyone my exchanges with the new employee, as well as the updated project I sent him, radio silence. It’s my fault, though, for actually being competent at my job, I guess.
i work at a daycare and more than once people have walked out on the job crying and having a meltdown in front of the children because they had to change a diaper. and expect to be called back in the next day for their shift lol
About 1 month- you say that's not related to the question....right?
But wait -it gets better...2 actual days in service...
Well- this was a completely interview vetted and psychologically examined Mr Big Vice president Sales Manager for a multi national company's USA division. Making 6 figures with potential for big bonuses! The interview process for low level production line management like myself was difficult so I can't imagine his level of months of vetting. This was NOT a minimum wage temporary position!
He'd been in company training for 3 weeks which meant flying around the country and getting introduced to the higher ups above him then was finally released to "Sales manage" his sales force. About 2 days into his "Sales managing" he sent a completely off the hook email to everyone else in the division's manufacturing management about how the company's goals and methodology sucked and critical of everyone above his rank. My boss starts belly laughing from his office across the hall from mine and then called several of us down the hall to read the email from his screen. Someone asked "What's the email mean?" My boss said "It means that Mr Big VP Sales Manager is getting his ass fired!"
Within under 2 hours, corporate HR sent out an email to EVERYONE in the division saying the Mr. Big VP Sales Manager was no longer with the company, was not to be allowed on company property, and to delete the email.
Then, the very next day, we got a second corporate HR email saying that we were to have no contact with former Mr.Big VP Sales Manager and if he emailed or called us that we were to contact company legal department asap preserving the voice-mail or email from him. He'd apparently been abusively harassing some employees by phone and email after he was walked out the previous morning!
Yikes!
[удалено]
Thank goodness he did not apply to be a surgeon.
[удалено]
Well, thank goodness! That reduces the potential damage.
First day of work dude got caught watching porn at his desk.
I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught.
Why... Just why? It's not as if you can just whip it out and go at it either, so it's basically 2 hours of self torture. And in an office setting, surrounded by colleagues, and your boss? Those are the least sexy people I can imagine, not because they're ugly or anything, but because they're my coworkers, and my mind is usually never further away from sex than when I'm stuck in an office, working.
This was over a decade ago but I'm thinking maybe his plan was to go to the bathroom at some point and rub one out in the stall while thinking about the porn he'd watched. Again though, this was 2011. Smartphones were a thing so it's not like he couldn't watch some porn in the bathroom lol
>it's basically 2 hours of self torture maybe thats what the Intern was into
What an idiot, that's what toilet breaks and smartphones are for.
New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer. "I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR. Edit: spelling.
Dude was probably zooted if he thought he could play off stinking like beer on the *first day*
Before work… at what time of the day?
Years ago I was pulled over for ride check out in the country middle of no-where around 10:30 in the morning. Ociffer: "Have you been drinking?" Me (taken by surprise): "Who would start drinking this early?" He just nods down the lane, there's a dude who looks like Lebowski finishing his beer beside his beat-up old Camaro.
I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"...someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck. He just shot back something about having a job now which didnt make sense because he hadnt even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms.
Good riddance to that guy. Feels bad for the mom though, seems like she was just trying to help her son.
He’s additional level of asshole for risking his moms reputation at her job like that.
I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation. I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired. Guy: "You mean don't do this?" *puts one foot on the floor* And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed. I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the ass for two days.
Guy did not comprehend "fuck around and find out."
He did he just wanted to play power games by bending the rules little by little, making everyone accept his BS. That kind of approach can work with weak bosses but you have to be pretty stupid to try it.
[удалено]
I'm amazed she had a working email account on the first morning
[удалено]
We had a coop start who couldn’t do anything for a whole month. No computer no online training, couldn’t go into the lab without it. Whole. Month. Wasted.
She got some free training, after all.
We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him. Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn’t let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day.
How would he have been allowed off the plane? Wouldn't that be assault and wouldn't he have been arrested on the plane or as soon as it landed by someone?
This was the late nineties. Things were “different” back then. Today I think you would be right and he would have been detained.
Ah the nineties. "Smoking or non smoking" in a restaurant with a magic curtain separating the two
… and at the back of a plane.
I flew with a co-worker in the late 90's who joked about having a bomb when boarding the plane because he thought it was funny. They lightly scolded him for it but that was it.
My grandfather made a joke to the stewardess about planning on hijacking the plane to fly it somewhere warmer (on a flight to chicago in winter) in the 90s. The stewardess laughed and told another stewardess who thought it was funny and brought him a Hawaiian shirt, pink flamingo sunglasses, and straw hat someone lost on an earlier flight.
When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "Fuck bitches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job.
[удалено]
If management is worked about you unionizing, you should DEFINITELY unionise!
“You know boss, we didn’t once think about unionizing… until you panicked over Fred’s prank last week. So let’s negotiate higher wages…”
A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference.
> he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them. I'm surprised he didn't just use everyone as references without consent or informing
It was a family owned business and she said something insensitive about the owner's recently deceased daughter.
I gasped audibly.
Adult daughter, if that makes it somewhat better, the employee said it to her brother and he just told her to gtfo now.
I daresay that does not make it better...
It was his second week. The guy came to work drunk af, picked the emergency axe and trashed the place with it. He got instantly fired and processed in court shortly after.
There's got to be more to this one
Let’s just say he was never welcome back at that particular day care.
Our ceo rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it. New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes “I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off.” Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours. When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again.
Gotta give her some respect. She committed career Seppuku after realizing her mistake.
It's always nice when they just fire themselves.
What was the best case scenario here? She hits "Reply" and not "Reply All"? Doesn't the CEO still know she' sucks?
She was probably trying to forward it to someone else.
The most important lessons about emails is to always double check who you are sending it to BEFORE sending it.
The most important lesson about email is to NEVER PUT IT IN WRITING unless you’d be comfortable with it on the front page of the paper.
A colleague of mine has a mock motivational poster that goes something like: Dance like nobody is watching. Email like you're reading it aloud at a deposition.
Our IT dept also locked down being able to message the entire company without approval.
I worked in construction for eight years. Guys would quit all the time but the fastest was this kid named Austin. Austin was rail thin and wouldn't stop looking at his phone. Our boss told him to run a wheelbarrow full of dirt to a pile and he sighed before trudging over to it. The kid moved that wheelbarrow maybe fifteen feet, set it down and started looking at his phone again. Boss asked him what he was doing and he said it was "too hard" and he was calling his girlfriend to pick him up. Austin lasted a grand total of five minutes.
That sounds like a kid we briefly hired who complained that watering the plants was too hard. Sir, you applied to work in a greenhouse.
Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as shit on the 1st day of the job. Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office. I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie.
I've been doing call centre work for a few years now, I don't mind it and it's zero stress/responsibility work that I can just put down the moment the clock ticks past kicking out time. I've seen shitloads of new people not last the first day, most walk out but a few have been brilliant crazies. We had one girl who within an hour of starting had signed up to a number of job search sites using the 'helpteam' email address that the whole centre uses (hundred or more of us) and all our emails suddenly started pinging with results for her job searches. She used her own name on all the accounts yet still fervently denied it when pulled up about it. We were in stitches. Because she just wouldn't admit it and lied to the faces of the supervisors on shift they had to call in the big boss on a Sunday to give her the heave ho, it was excellent entertainment. I've seen lots now though, junkies on the nod, junkies with swinging jaws and 3 teeth, crazy guy with the knife (he was really funny, at one point just stomping around the break room talking to himself saying "knife,knife,knife" over and over again), people who have clearly exaggerated their way through an interview and then panicking when faced with the job, all sorts. We once had someone start who was there a few hours before someone realised she'd been sacked from another area of the business for theft.
Yes. All of this. Did a stint training for a call center, 6 weeks of full time training and tests. My favorite two were the woman who bluffed her way through the interview and didn’t know how to use a mouse; and the two women put in my class who were apparently mortal enemies and would intentionally sit next to each other so they could constantly goad each other. Only time I lost my cool in a class - told them one had to move and they took it as an opportunity for another fight. I ended up slamming my hand on the table, yelling at them to both shut up, and told who to move. I felt bad but the rest of the class said it was fine and needed. Both ladies were fired the next day for getting into a knife fight in the parking lot after work.
>for getting into a knife fight in the parking lot after work. ...Holy shirt.
I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "fuck you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer.
Pretty damn genius.
Did the discovery of what he'd done mean they were able to reinstate the debt?
Real play: erase 30 peoples debts. They wont know which was was him, it will make it more difficult to prosecute/sue. Also he was a fool to just ghost. Should have made it less obvious to avoid suspicion.
Asking the real question here
Was he caught because he erased only his debt?
Yeah he should have gone wild erasing debt, or have quit properly so as not to arouse suspicion.
[удалено]
Legend!
15 minutes. Working at the wharfs where we had to unload shipping containers with forklifts; new bloke starts work who claims to be a wiz at operating forklifts. First container and he drives in too fast while another worker is opening the container door. I'm not the foreman but I have a go at him about him and tell him to pull his head in. He walks off the job muttering under his breath 'Nobody talks to me like that'.
"Nobody is allowed to be mad at me for endangering a coworkers life!" -This guy
Hired my roommate to work at a gas station I was assistant manager for. Shows up 2 hours late to replace me, and I could have gotten drunk from his breath. He went out after his construction job and got bliiiiitzed. Was mad at me for firing him. 16 hour shift that day and he treated me like trash till we moved. Is zero minutes a duration? LOL
[удалено]
3 1/2 hours. She started the same day as me. Part way through the morning I told a couple of jokes to break the ice. She said she had a couple of good ones and started off with "What do you call a n****r who...." She went for lunch and never returned.
Damn! Sounds like a coworker I had at Target who was terminated after a manager overheard her saying something like “I’m sorry but white is right and I don’t know what else to say”
I've jokingly said "white is right" at work, but I'm also very obviously Mexican and I was working as a line cook. Not even the most offensive thing said in the kitchen that day. I wouldn't dare say that at a more professional job though, not even as a joke.
Fucked the bosses daughters - yes daughters - the night he was hired. The real twist is that one of those daughters is now his wife and his former boss his mother in law. So I guess he got the last laugh, and a lot of awkward family dinners.
Others just watch porn some live it.
Not a coworker, but ME. Saw a posting for a hostess at a local Chinese food buffet in town and got an interview the same week and started the week after. First day I go in and it’s a Saturday. The head hostess was showing me all the ropes, while telling me how much of a hardass the owner was and to say yes or no answers only if she addressed me. Behind the counter where we would grab our menus and silverware was two mini fridges side by side laying flat so it was no taller than my knees on the bottom shelf & they held all the alcoholic beverages, but it also held all of the employee drinks. Customers are coming and going and I have this system where id just reach down and grab a beer and the owner flutters around and puts her drink in the mini fridge directly under me. I didn’t think anything of it until it was time for the next customer to want a beer so I go to grab a beer and full blown smacked the owners drink into the fridge and all over the floor so when I said “omg I’m so sorry” the owner came around the counter and told me to go home. I told her I’d clean it up but she told me no. I honestly felt like crying. Total was around 4 hours, I didn’t even make it past the lunch rush. Very embarrassing & never got paid for that either.
Sounds like they did you a favor, who wants to work for someone like that? It’s the food industry, spills happen.
Also employee open drink in the same fridge as product to go to customers? Potential cross contamination issue.
Her not paying you was illegal.
Worked in a warehouse. Minimum staff, temp workers during peak times. Ask my boss for a temp or two for the next day as I wasn’t keeping up and we had a truck coming in. I get one temp. I put him to work cleaning and sorting a corner of the warehouse while I got as many orders pulled as I could before the truck came in. 15-20 minutes later I go looking for him, and he’s not where I asked him to be. I find him in the other end of the complex, pushing a broom. I drag him back to the corner I’d brought him in to sort. 10 minutes later, around 9am, the truck arrives as scheduled and we need to get it unloaded. I go looking for him. Not in his corner. Find him sweeping again. I tell him the truck showed up. I bring him to the loading dock and I climb up inside to get the top row out. I pass a handful of boxes to him. “Is this what we do?” “Yes, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week” “This is too hard. I’m going home” I hop out of the truck and walk him to the boss’s office. Never saw him again. Total time: barely more than an hour.
I was a temp worker at a small college as a janitor. Real skate job, lot of it was empty the office trash cans and push a broom up and down some hallways. Spent half the evening sitting in one of the offices listening to a radio and I even took movies as they had VCRs in the class rooms. It really was that easy of a job. Boss told me they had one temp who's brother lived down the street. He would clock in a 4 and they wouldn't see him until clock out at midnight, wouldn't even empty the trash cans. Didn't do a damn thing all evening and was only about a two hour job on the tough days.
I had gig cleaning libraries at night. The company I worked for was about to lose the contract due to them being unhappy with the work the crew had been doing. My whole thing is going into new situations, learning them and then finding how to improve them. So we had a set number of places we had to keep up. It didn't matter how long we took to do it, as long as the place was clean and all our tasks done we were gold. I noticed some big tasks - like dusting or cleaning all the study cubes, etc - would only get so dirty every day. With that in mind I worked out a way we did a section of each big task each visit. So if I dusted 1 section a time, by the end 2 weeks I would have completed all of them and would be back to the first section. But since I did such a good job of cleanings since I was able to focus on a smaller part - it never really got dirty. By the time it would, I would be back to clean it. This simple change saved the contract.
He was only sweeping when you were looking.
We had a guy in the warehouse get fired his first day for cutting up lines of oxycontin on the UPS scales...
First day at a CPA firm, guy gets a talking to from management because he followed a group of female coworkers to a restaurant at lunch, sat at a nearby table, and stared creepily at them for the entire meal. He got fired a couple of days later for logging into and using a coworker's computer without permission. Never heard what he was doing on that computer, but I think it's pretty safe to say it was something that he didn't want to use his own computer for.
Briefly worked as a doorman at a strip club. Had to eject two brand new strippers for lifting wallets from the punters.
Punter- (Australia, Britain, New Zealand, slang) One who gambles. ... (Britain, Australia, slang) A customer of a commercial establishment, frequently of a pub or (alternatively) of a prostitute.
I was a recruiter for an investment bank about 15 years ago. I recruited a Business systems analyst for a long-term contract position. On her first day she showed up to work a half an hour late. Her new boss showed her around a bit, got her to her cube, gave her some first day stuff to review and left her to it. About an hour later I got the call. she had passed out in her chair and pissed herself. They had a hard time arousing her but when they did it was clear she was wasted and got belligerent when they asked her to leave. Security got involved. It’s unclear whether she was drunk from the night before or chugged booze in the office. Either way, she was fired by about 10:30am on Monday morning!
Rousing not arousing. If they were trying to arouse a passed out woman many more would have got fired that day lol.
> They had a hard time arousing her Think you just mean "rousing".
Showed up early to work on her first day to eat. We worked at Firehouse subs, and she came in with Subway and started eating in the lobby while in uniform. The boss asked her nicely to eat in the back so customers wouldn't see. She started screaming and throwing a fit so boss told her to leave and not come back. Idk if you can really even say she got fired. She never clocked in once.
guy drove a forklift into a fire hydrant, in front of a safety rep for the company. His supervisor was called over, and he immediately tells the supervisor that he won’t pass a piss test, as he used his only bottle of clean piss earlier that day when he hired in. Everybody standing there immediately burst into laughter, which continued as security (also laughing) escorted him off site. Even the supervisor was all smiles...just gave him a pat on the back and wished him the best of luck. It was wild.
Guy at a fish factory lasted half a shift before he was fired for refusing to adhere to any health and safety rules. Later got told it wasn't uncommon for people like that, they had to be seen to be applying for jobs to keep their benefits, would lose them if they quit, but could get them back immediately if fired.
Did he mentioned cream pies while he was there?
Probably.
Not fired but quit. New admin joins the team, gets escorted around to meet everyone. Next day shes gone. I asked someone and they said "She was told there was a background check and just left" You accept a job at a gov facility and dont think they are going to look into your past? i still wonder what she had that she figured it wasnt worth waiting to get fired for.
>"She was told there was a background check and just left" We should really do that with our elected officials.
I saw this guy in interview with our boss, he was hired for 3 minutes then he peed in his desk for no reason.
Asserting dominance from day one.
[удалено]
Happened last week: New IT hire. 34 year old. First full time job. Good qualifications. Seemed OK. First night, staff calls me. He is spamming ladies with messages on their private phones. On lady's husband calls me. Her camera is on non stop. He also installed software to switch on their cams remotely. On day one. He wasn't allowed back on the premises.
I’m late to the party but wanted to share anyway. This wasn’t a firing, but an employee quitting. I used to work in a family owned restaurant. The father of the family (head chef and my main boss) was very homophobic and wasn’t afraid to tell you that he was. He had just hired a new line cook, a young woman who was very quiet but friendly. She clocks in for her first shift and is putting her apron on when my boss comes running to the back and is over dramatically washing his hands. I ask him wtf is going on and he said “was just talking with a customer out there and after we shook hands he revealed he was gay… I need to wash the gay off of me” New employee got wide eyed, and stood there while my boss dried his hands and went back to the main kitchen area. She starts taking her apron off and goes over and clocks herself out. “What are you doing?” I asked. She says “long story short, I’m gay. It was nice meeting you.” And she slipped out of the back door never to be seen again. Total time on the job: about 5 minutes.
I approve of this quitting.
me too. Glad she was able to stand up for herself. And she doesn't even count that as a TIFU. That's not a f-up. That's realizing you are better than the place you are at, and nope-ing out. edit: I wouldn't say she lasted 5 minutes on the job. I would say the job lasted 5 minutes before she left out of self respect.
My brothers friend “chuck” got a job at the Subaru dealership in our town, within a couple days of working there, he somehow was allowed to “test drive” one of the brand new models. My brother and I lived a few miles out of town on 40 acres. chuck drove that brand new car out to our property to test the 4 wheel drive. Well it being a wet Pacific Northwest winter it was that year, he swiftly managed to get the car stuck in almost a foot of mud halfway up a good size hill. It took a tow truck 3 hours to get there and an hour plus to pull him out. All the while the dealership is calling him asking wtf? The thing was DRENCHED in mud from him spinning the tires. He was fired that night...
The place I worked at had a required two weeks of training they they were very upfront about. You were given a schedule ahead of time and had to agree you could make it before being hired. Day one saw one person fired for leaving part way through the day. Day 4 saw another person leaving because she didn't like it. Day 8 was a testing day to see what areas, if any, the class needed to spend more time on before moving to the in-person stuff with a trainer on the floor. A question was worded poorly and it caused a lot of confusion. The trainer said he would not count the question as many of us got it wrong due to its ambiguity. One of the girls in the training class told him "good, you should remove it or else no one would have found your body tomorrow". HR manager was literally standing in the doorway while that was being said and freaked out because threatening to murder a co-worker over a test question is the opposite of professional. Needless to say, that girl was told she wasn't the right fit for the company.
Did they ever find her body?
>threatening to murder a co-worker over a test question is the opposite of professional. Huh. TIL.
Worked on a logging crew 15 years ago. They hired a guy that “grew up on the farm working hard”… fired by noon day 1 because he literally looked like he was going to pass out and die after a few hours of “light duty” labor.
So many of these guys when I worked in landscape construction. They'd talk a big game about how strong they were/how hard they could work/how much energy they had and by noon, they'd be walking off the job site to their car or wanting a ride back to the shop.
I was in my 20's and got a job as a fencers assistant. I was young and fit. It was a hot summer day and some machinery broke down so we had to dig fence post holes by hand then mix concrete and spade it in. By lunchtime I quit because I was unable to physically continue. The guy who had hired me was a nice bloke and let me sit in the shade for a couple of hours (we were out in the countryside, no transport) before driving me back home. He was willing to let me try again tomorrow but I just couldn't do it.
Worked at Wendy’s. New guy comes in for his first shift. Evening shift in the drive-thru. He literally posted on his Snapchat where he was and what he was doing and told all his buddies to come through for free food. He started fucking up orders on purpose and handing his friends free stuff. Manager called the police and he got arrested.
White guy called a black customer "his favorite n-word" on his first day. He was clocked in for maybe 45 minutes.
Threatened the long term employees, including me the assistant manager, because they/we were younger than her, and shamed us and said "I've been in this industry longer than you! I know more. Okay?! Okay! Hahahaha". Granted, she had been in sales for 20 years, but if she was truly that good, she would have been hired on at a higher position. While screaming this, she was stomping her foot, slamming her fists on the table and standing just a few inches away from each employee when she'd state this. She was an absolute loon, and tiny. Plucked out eyebrows, greasy skin and all. How she got a sales position? I do not know, but I do know she gave a sob story and begged for the job. Needless to say when the big boss heard about it and she talked to her in the back she cried like I've never seen someone cry before. Instantly started, and instantly stopped once she was fired, and it was very very loud. She of course, claimed she never did anything worthy of getting fired.
To late to the party but my friend FINALLY got the sales job he had always wanted. They told him by phone around 4pm. He went out that night and got absolutely shit-faced drunk. Probably some coke too. He showed up at his new office in the morning and the boss said "Excuse me one moment". He came back around 10 minutes later, apologized, said they had hired the wrong guy, and fired him on the spot.
[удалено]
Did they actually hire the wrong guy or he was obvious hungover/had been doing coke the next day?
No, I guess I didn't make that clear. It was because he probably reaked of booze and was also probably still wasted.
Worked at a shitty telemarketing job for awhile, and two people didn't make it through the training period. One woman was called up to HR on the first day, and just never came back - no idea what happened there. Another was an older lady that wasn't good at using the computer system, and was kind of stubborn and socially inept. She clashed with the instructor one too many times, and when she went into an "I don't need this job," rant, he immediately walked her over to HR so she could quit. Not quite a firing, more like walking up to a cliff's edge then being helped over. Out of the four of us that finished training, one guy who kept disappearing for long periods of time was caught using drugs in the bathroom and fired maybe two weeks into the job. Another guy was genuinely good at the job, but was fired for running a credit check without permission, probably an honest mistake on his part. It was a high-turnover job. I saw about five or six people on my team get fired in the six months that I worked there. I was terrible at it, but somehow managed to hang on long enough to find something better and quit.
Worked at a sausage plant and other meats. Guy got fired on the first day before even working. We had to pass thru a machine that cleaned our shoes as we washed our hands. It had timed sensors. He couldn't get thru so he went back into the lunch room for an hour till the boss sent him home.
I was working in a small grocery store and we had a new butcher start. He rocked up and asked the boss to pay for his taxi because he didn’t have any money until payday. He works for a few hours and then goes on lunch and never returns. We find out why when we go to close the till and it’s out by about $1000. So we check the cameras and watch him shove the cash into his big wellies. The kicker though? He went to play the pokies and that’s exactly where the cops found him hours later, with some money still in his boot
[удалено]
I was part of a review where we realized the person was logging work from 7-9 and then nothing until after 5. They clearly had an entirely additional full time job.
There's a story about a guy who accepted two office jobs in the same building, though on different floors. He staggered the hours he spent on each, came in very early for one, stayed very late for the other, alternated during the day, and was apparently able to pull it off for a while. Wasn't until someone happened to be visiting from one job and saw him at the other that everything fell apart.
My brother's friend did that, only in his case when he was found out neither boss cared because they were in two different industries and he was the most productive employee either of them had
At orientation, when going over benefits. Guy had been trouble the whole time talking about pay and benefits, apparently didn't have a bank account or anything so even paying him was a pain, he refused to get given a check for his pay so they basically had to give him a visa gift card every week, but health insurance was the final straw. When it came to health insurance, there were 3 options. Besides relatively standard stuff one had an FSA (flexible spending account) and 2 with an HSA (I forget what the "H" stands for but it's another spending account). Money in the FSA disappeared at the end of the year, but the HSA would carry over to the next year. You couldn't pull money out unless it was for medical expenses. Most importantly for this discussion, *you do not have to put ANY money in them if you so not want to*, it was an opportunity for you to put money aside specifically for medical reasons. This was completely unacceptable to this guy. Paraphrased a bit cause it was awhile ago, but basically it went like this: "Why can't I take it out, it's money!" HR: "if you're worried you won't spend it, don't have any taken out for it, it can have a balance of zero, that is not a problem" "Why are you making me put money in an account won't use! Why can't I take it out if I don't use it, you can't just make it disappear!" HR: "you don't have to put money in there, and if you want it to carry over just select one of the 2 plans without an FSA" "I don't even WANT health insurance" HR: "you have to, it's the law" "This is bullshit! You're stealing from me! Why can't I just have MY money!" HR: you know what? This is how it works, I've explained it multiple times, everyone else gets it. If you don't like it, the doors over there. *Storms out* HR: *calls security* "make sure he actually leaves, and that he doesn't get let in if he comes back"
> he refused to get given a check for his pay I don't think you can refuse this. I guess you can refuse to cash them, which would annoy the accounting department.
Health savings account
Girl wouldnt stop texting during orientation, despite being asked to stop. She was escorted out in an hour.
Buddy lasted a few days. Every day he was on the job, he was drunk. Managed to say a few racists things, and kept saying everything we built was done in bad ways and he would redo it it all. We still joke about this guy and how bad a hire he was.
New registrar (trainee grade doctor) started. IMG from somewhere rather socially conservative, good standard of English, very good references, and decent previous experience abroad. First night resident on call he realised that the work computer in his Call room had virtually unfettered internet access as well as the ability to access patient data, so he used it to, um … satisfy his curiosity. The search history alone was definitely NSFW, never mind the pages accessed. It’s unlikely he even collected a pay cheque he was out of the country so fast.
So many porn stories. Do people have no self control that they can’t go through a shift without porn?
[удалено]
We had a young (20's) sales guy start, on his first day he asked one of my colleagues to "look at this" and showed him porn on his phone. I look at porn. At home. And I have never said to my colleagues "hey, take a look at the sort of porn I like"
I had a new mechanic come In the shop out of orientation...so about 2 hours as an employee. They sent home to me to show him some ropes in the shop. What he didn't know is that im the owner/president/ ceo of the dealership ( heavy equipment and truck sales and service..380 employees) I spend 2 days a week in the shop, because that's what I like to do, and ..well..its my company, so I can. Within the first 5 minutes, he questioned my expertise....OK, no biggie...he doesn't know who am or anything about me, so I tell him " don't worry yourself , there's only 1 guy here who has more experience than I do.." The next 5 minutes was him telling me I'm an idiot for doing something a specific way, and there's shortcuts I can take.( there is, but those shortcuts negate warranty payments)...so I tell him its a requirement to do it this way. He rolls his eyes, then tells me" no one will ever know about it, and it'll help your flag hours " I reply," it is 100% about doing the right thing...and that's how we operate her...we do the right thing by the customer, the manufacturer, and the company" Then he says " I do right by me...not the idiot CEO , so he buy a new truck every year" So I said " well, my truck is 12 years old, and this is your last day of work....Hi there, I'm the Owner....that's my name on the big sign" nodded to the floor manager and told him to process him out of my company. Total time on job, 2.5 hours. Be careful out there people...not all bosses wear suits and hide in offices.
Undercover Boss for real
I would love a boss who can actually do the job they employ people to do. I have had one boss who would jump in and help when it got really busy. I literally don't understand how anyone can make decisions on a work practice without actually doing it themselves
Depends on circumstances and what the bosses duties are. My GM was once a skilled wrench, but he doesn't have time to jump in, even if he wanted to. I'm in a position to choose, and I schedule myself 24 hours a week in the shop.( 2 days)
A new hire nurse on my floor was fired after 2 weeks when my manager found out her previous manager lied about her being a reliable worker to get rid of her. Also several nurses refused to train her anymore after one day because she had such a snotty difficult attitude.
Dad’s a mechanic, hires a guy who seems pretty knowledgeable, and actually has some tools that aren’t entirely from harbour freight (this was an issue with the last guy: all his tools were cheap and constantly breaking so he was taking Dad’s snap-on and matco tools… and not always returning them). First job was oil change and brake job - takes a little longer than expected but it gets done. Dad was irked about the amount of time he spent on his phone, but chalked it up to a generational difference. Next job before lunch requires him to drain the fuel tank and drop it to complete the repair (don’t remember what it was exactly, but plan was drain and drop, lunch, then finish the job after). Dad asked him three times if he had done it before and if he wanted help, but the guy declined and said he was good. Dad wanders off to check on the other tech and go back to his own car he’s working on. He said his head was under the hood for all for 2 minutes before he hears the other tech scream/bellow his name and with a deer in the headlights look points where the rookie is working. Car is up in the air, and the rookie had wheeled the acetylene torch wagon over and was attempting to light it. Dad comes over in a hurry, and asks why he’s using the torch instead of taking the bolts out, and the rookie responds unconvincingly that this is the right way to do it. Then asks if he drained the fuel yet, and the rookie, still without stopping to play with the torch asks “what fuel?” Dad turns off the tanks and orders him into the office. Dad has a 5-10 minute conversation that basically reveals, as noted on the work order the fuel tank was 100% full, the torch would likely have melted the tank and caught fire, quite possibly catching other oils and fuels on fire, that the rookie actually had no knowledge and was googling everything, and didn’t even own the tools: they were borrowed and his plan was to replace them with his first pay check (from Harbour Freight). Dad gave him a chance - “do you see what you did was wrong?” with the intention of if he came clean and admitted he was faking it and was willing to learn, Dad would keep him around (with a pay cut to make up for the lack of experience). Dude doubled down on he didn’t do anything wrong and “fake it til you make it” was still his attitude. Didn’t even make it to lunch that day.
Some cocktail waitress on her first day walked out with the main bar's tip jar. No one even noticed because we were so busy and thought she was getting ice or something. She got arrested, we never got paid. I still wonder wtf happened to all that money.
She went to get ice.
Boss hired a vegan to work in the cafe were we do coffee and mainly breakfast food. So lots of eggs, cheese and meats and you know, milk. She reused to touch anything with animal products and lasted about 15 minutes. Not sure how she survived the interview process and didn't pick up on the use of milk in coffee drinks or what breakfast food had in it.
[удалено]
I wonder if the guy had come in to rob the place of steam codes and ghost the job. He’d then sell the $100 codes for $50. Maybe he wasn’t counting on the manager monitoring that in real time. Or maybe he was a dumb dumb and thought the store could just generate credit for free?? Lol It reminds me of a story my mom has from a pharmacy. A woman showed up said “I was sent over from to help, and the pharm was too overwhelmed to double check. The woman works for half shift, actually does the job correctly and well, then all of a sudden she’s gone and they’re missing a bottle of pain killer worth thousands of dollars.
I had a new hire show up for work the first day and asked her to go take a drug test, which was normal and totally expected (she knew when she accepted the job). Two days later the results come back positive for meth. She said, "that can't be!" So I told her she was welcome to go retake it. I gave her the paperwork and never saw her again. Kind of self-firing, I guess.
I had the opposite. New girl said loudly to a manager on her first day that she can't believe she passed the drug test since she smokes weed everyday.
Jokes on her, we don't test for weed, since then we wouldn't have anyone working in the kitchens.
My roommate works at one of the restaurant in a hotel and they drug test for everything when they hire you. I think they only do it once unless you give them reason to test again. Most everyone working there is on drugs lol.
[удалено]
My boss hired this guy to work with the landscape team. His first day on the job was spent sleeping in the dump truck and hiding from the crew. The next day he was sent to our main office to pull weeds and other general easy stuff. He spent the day eating Doritos and talking on his phone. He was gone the following day.
[удалено]
I had a boss last 3 days. She lied on her resume and HR found out.
Same here. Guy got hired into a senior management marketing position. We all knew after the first day, but it took two weeks to get the guy out the door.
I worked in a bulk grocery store (kinda like Costco, but not consumer facing) and there was a guy I know from high school hired. He was known to indulge in psychedelics pretty often, no problem, me too! This is in Canada so, no drug testing or anything. He worked for maybe 3-4 shifts and came into work on his bicycle. He wore his helmet for most of his shift not realizing it was still on. Funny, but not means for dismissal. I went to the washroom on my lunch break and he came stumbling in, vomited all over the place and fell and hit his head on a sink. He exhibited some other strange behaviour during his shift and was not doing his job properly (ie. Staring off into space for several minutes at a time) Near the end of his shift he was called on the p.a. to come to the managers office, they fired him. As he was packing up his stuff, our dingus managers who didn't communicate well called him over the p.a. to the other office and fired him again. I ran into him months later, apparently he had taken 7-8g of mushrooms and realized last minute that he worked that day. At least he tried.
[удалено]
First thing that crossed my mind too
Imagine you're tripping balls, at work, get hurt and then you get fired twice. Absolutely the icing on the cake.
I was an assistant manager of a kids summer camp when I was in college (I was grossly under qualified). We hired some guy as a counselor who, by coincidence, was a friend of a friend of mine, so he thought I was his buddy and tried to take advantage of the tiny amount of power I had. He was actually pretty good with the kids, but had real problems with authority, particularly with women in authority, and the manager of the camp was a woman. Well anyway, in just that first week he had several run ins with the boss over showing up on time, inappropriate language around the kids, taking long lunches, that sort of thing. He would then come complain to me to blow off steam and I mostly let him. Probably didn’t stand up for the woman in charge, if I’m being honest in retrospect. Anyway, Friday we’re closing up and boss lady comes up, probably just to send him home for the day. He sees her coming and goes “Shit! Here she comes! Don’t move and maybe she won’t see us.” And he literally stands completely still and acts like he can’t hear her. She just looks at him, and then goes to me “You deal with him, I’m done.” I told him it was probably best if he didn’t come back on Monday.
Took about five minutes on their first day. I used to wait tables and I was training the new hire. Girl went into the bathroom to change into the uniform, female manager walked in on this girl mid-snort. We all had a good laugh because the manager was so shocked she backed out of the restroom and right into a customer who fell on another one in a weird domino effect.
I'm a technician at a higher-end car dealership. Some of our loaner cars are reasonably fast, performance-oriented cars. We had a new valet, one of the people who parks cars in for service, or takes service/loaner cars to be washed, etc. He had been there maybe a month. It is also important to mention here that our dealership is located directly across the street from the Central Precinct of the local police department. New Valet (NV) was sent out on some sort of errand in one of the faster loaner cars. I don't know what he was doing or why, but it's not really relevant. Around that time I happened to be test driving a car that I had recently worked on and was maybe a minute behind him leaving the dealership, and headed in the same direction. I turned right into the road, a 4-lane road with a shared center turn lane. There is a gas station about a mile down the road I was headed towards. The police like to set up a speed trap right before the gas station, and I had actually seen one there on an earlier drive, and was prepared and going the limit. Unfortunately NV was not prepared, and as I came up to the area I noticed him pulled over in the center lane, the police having obviously just pulled him over. I noted that it was one of our loaner cars, but wasn't able to tell who was in the driver seat until I had turned around at the gas station and was headed back to the shop. When I passed him on the way back, I also noted at that point that the regional manager's car was parked behind them. I sort-of laughed, but felt a bit bad for him, it's common to get caught going just a bit too fast in that area, hence the speed trap, but I hoped maybe it was just a misunderstanding or something. I got back, and after about a half hour or so found out what happened from the Manager - NV was caught on laser doing 111mph (limit was 45mph). The regional manager was slightly behind me, and also noticed it was one of our loaners, and decided to stop to see what was wrong. In addition to NV being caught egregiously speeding, he had left his license/ID in his personal car, parked back at the dealership. I suspect my manager was able to intervene somehow to prevent NV from going immediately to jail, because they did I think manage to make it back to the dealership before he was fired faster than his speeding ticket. I believe the loaner car in question is still in service, and we have affectionately nicknamed it "White Lightening," as it's a white coupé sports car. Don't worry, it's still perfectly safe to drive, it's the type of car than can easily handle 111mph and much more without any issues, and we service them regularly. Tl;dr - new valet, about 1 month in, gets caught by police and the regional manager doing 111mph in a 45mph zone in a company car, with no ID on him. Somehow avoided jail time, but was fired absolutely instantaneously.
New guard on site , only been there 3 days. Takes the main key ring home by accident and loses it. 45,000$ dollars worth of locks to be replaced. Didnt make it 5 days
or you know, stole it.
When I worked the prison system, one of my outside-recruited supervisors quit within an hour because inmate threw a shoe at him after he called the inmate a racial slur
I was working at Subway and had been for maybe 6-8 weeks and 2 new employees started. They were, in addition to being new employees at the same time, a couple who lived together at an apartment complex next door. Everything is fine for a couple days and then the woman comes in and looks… really bad. Like she was beaten badly. She wouldn’t say much but we all kind of assumed she had either been robbed or her bf beat the shit out of her. He comes in to essentially check on if she’s been good a couple hours into her shift and he starts screaming at her and shoving her and trying to punch our manager… he got fired. They still stayed together despite us all begging her to go to a shelter or look into resources to break free of him. She was terrified of him. And I bet she’s still with him if she isn’t dead.
Day 3 of orientation, dude falls asleep while the instructor was talking. He wakes him up and tells him that he would be let go if he fell asleep again which he didn't have to do. Not 10 minutes later he was asleep again. Escorted out
I worked in the kitchen at a college campus pizza pub and bar. A new waitress started her first shift on a Friday night shift from 3 - 10. Any time an order is ready, the kitchen staff rings a bell to alert the servers. Well, her first table's food was ready so I rang the bell. 5 minutes pass, nothing. Gave it another ring. Another 10 minutes pass, nothing. I start asking other servers if they've seen her anywhere. Nothing. I send one server on a recon mission. She's still no where in the place. After 25 minutes, during a dinner rush mind you, I left the kitchen in search for this phantom waitress. I found her out back at a table slamming shots with her friends. She was completely hammered. Total employment time was like 45 minutes to an hour.
Not fired, but the fastest I've ever seen a person leave a job. Day 2 for a temp worker at the factory. Nice dude, but very lazy which was saying something because his job was to fold disposable blood pressure cuffs and place them in an automatic bagger. That was if he wasn't taking a turn boxing them. (People rotated tasks every 30 minutes so it didn't get boring.) All in all, very low effort work for relatively decent pay in the area. 2nd day rolls around and we have to audit a pallet of cuffs because of a defect that was passed by accident. I think it was a print error on the packaging, I can't quite recall. Also very easy. Just take the cuffs out of the defective bags and toss them in bins to be rebagged. A lot of people like doing them because they can just shoot the shit for a couple hours while they work. Dude looks at everyone setting up, and then sidles over to me to ask when the next bus was coming through the area as one was chartered by the factory for employees that needed it. I tell him and he takes off his work jacket and safety glasses and walks out the door. Literally getting paid $14 an hour to do fuckall and that was too much. Maybe it was boring for him I guess, but we've had people that found the job boring still do it because they could make money while looking for a new job. You have to either do some real dumb shit to get fired, or just leave. It wasn't exciting but I found it all weird. It was like he couldn't muster a single fuck to give.
One person’s dream job is another person’s worst nightmare!
Several years ago, working as a lifeguard at the town pool, we get a new guy named Tim. Tim showed up to his first shift 30 minutes late, gets into the chair, and spends the entire rotation turned away from the pool. We were all very confused. The chair rotated on the stands, and he was actively facing away from the pool. Turns out he was really hungry, and was enjoying the smells coming from the snack bar. This was the actual explanation he gave his new boss. He was fired in the first 15 minutes of his first rotation. A true legend of stupidity.
Worked delivering beer for a few years. We ran through a lot of employees really quickly to the point where we would hire 3 at a time and hope one would stick. Fastest I ever saw was a guy came in for his first day at 7 am, got assigned to drive with a manager (because we were short staffed and the manager was driving routes), and was handed the keys and told to pull the truck into the dock. Never came to the dock. Manager goes looking for him ten minutes later, finds him finishing a beer in our repacking room. Is immediately let go. Twenty minutes on the job.
New girl blew a co-worker when everyone was out of the office doing pickups. When we got back she looked like she just gave sloppy head and she was freaking out and couldn't stand the pressure anymore. She just blurted out "I BLEW DAN! AND THERES THE EVIDENCE!" and pointed to a splooge stain she spit out on the floor.
What happened to Dan?
Dan quietly got a branch change. Dan was consistently on top of the sales matrix.
> Dan was consistently on top of the sales matrix. I know corporate lingo is all the rage, but calling the new associate a “sales matrix” is taking things a little far.
He became a Lieutenant and ended up losing his legs in the war.
One of my retail jobs had a new girl on her first day, walk into the bathroom, disappear for almost an entire hour, then come out the bathroom smelling like weed and looking nauseous. When the manager asks her what's wrong and if she's ok, she said that she thinks the drugs she bought from a customer (in the SAME bathroom, it was a public multi stall bathroom) made her sick. I've never seen someone go from concerned to pissed so quickly. She had only done about 5 minutes of work (she took exactly one register transaction before her bathroom break)
Christmas party and the girl who used to be the receptionist just got hired as an account person. She got crazy drunk that night, started grabbing dudes crotches, and HR took a car service with her home since they lived near each other. She threw up on the HR person on the way home. When they dropped her off at her parents home they said not to come back. I think she had the job for maybe two days.
We often get mandatory overtime where I work. Not too long ago a new girl started and got mandated her first weekend. Shit sucks, but she was told about mandation when she was hired, and that you can't call off when you're mandated unless you have a doctor's note. So Saturday comes around, and... she calls off for her mandatory OT. Thing is, she could have gotten by with it if she said she was having covid symptoms because there's clear policy around that (stay home, go get tested etc) - just go get a nose swab, it's probably negative, "oh, better to be safe" - that would've been it. But no - she called off her *mandated* OT on her *first* week and when our supervisor took her call she said "yeah I can't come in, I'm too hung over" Never saw her again
[удалено]
[удалено]
NAZEL-TOV!
Two candidates. Seen someone walked out less than a week on the job by police in cuffs at a call center for stealing credit card numbers. Second was at a hospital and in spite of the countless warnings they still decided to look up HIPAA information on a patient (a relative no less). You want to get walked out immediately from a job just screw around with HIPAA and find out.
Shelly got fired on her second day because she was out back showing off her pierced titties to underage coworkers. I've seen plenty of people quit after a day or two, but I don't think anyone else has gotten fired that quickly.
I was stripping in Oregon when a new hire chick comes in on her first shift. She starts talking trash about the oldest and frankly ugliest dancer in the joint loud enough for old Betty Rubble to hear. Betty comes up from behind, grabs her by the hair and slams her face against the mirrored wall until she passes out while holding both a lit cigarette and beer in her other hand like a pro. Boss fires new chick for talking smack once she comes to. Nothing happens to old Betty Rubble. I stand there flabbergasted.
I worked at a fast food restaurant and one of the guys who’d been there a while was training a new guy. Halfway through the shift we had a rush and the new guy was trying to do the grill by himself while the other guy training him went on break. The manager started yelling that we needed burgers off the grill faster, and the new guy hurled a block of cheese right at him. I guess he didn’t realize who was yelling, but needless to say I didn’t see him again after that.
I hate it when they ask for stuff to be cooked faster like it takes the time it's takes if you want it faster it will be undercooked and I will give it you undercooked. The main thing i cooked(undercooked) was fish aswell
I work as a Valet in a 5* hotel in Canada and this dude started like 1 week before. He was told that someone with 2 boxes of pretty expensive champagne (Crystal for those interested) that he was going to offer to his employees during a seminar was coming and his job was to put the boxes in his room. He did just that, except he took one for him and just left. Police had to come by the hotel to report the theft and the client was pretty pissed (I can see why) but the valet never admitted the theft, even when we showed him the security camera footage.
A new mechanic did a oil change on a motorcycle and didn't out the drain plug back. So as the guy drives off oil sprays all over his tire and he wipes out and got run over
I watched someone at the Milwaukee MEPS do his drug test, and then go to the back of the waiting area and spark up a joint...
Chain Pizza restaurant early 2000s. The new guy interviewed well and was fairly likeable. He was there for about a week until the restaurant caught fire overnight. (Nothing to do with him, just a weird accident.) So, all the employees had to be transferred to one of the 2 other restaurants in the area while the fire damage was repaired and we both ended up at the same one. His very first shift at the new restaurant, he decided to clock in and leave before anyone saw him or could say anything to him. Unbeknownst to him, the RGM was sitting in his car in the parking lot on break and saw him come in and leave. Employee came back about 5 hours later and clocked out without anyone noticing. RGM checked payroll at the end of the night and saw the 5 hours that employee "worked" and terminated him over the phone the next morning. Weird scenario overall.
Ah! Forgot one more — a dude was turned down for a job before he even started. I work in a hospital that hires a special interest group and goes extremely out of their way to provide a great environment for that group. Think, like, a mental hospital providing jobs for the insane and asking them to work at their own pace and just not fuck anything up. It’s extremely difficult to get fired as a member of that special interest group, *AND* we’re unionized. You’ve gotta really fuck up to get fired, and probably consistently. Even if you do get fired, that special interest group will probably be hired again unless it’s a seriously fucked up situation. Seriously, we damn near just re-hired a guy convicted of attempted murder on the property against two of my coworkers. Word got around that we were going to rehire a certain employee, and *literally every single department head told management that he wouldn’t be welcome to work in their department.* He’s pretty much been accused of sexually harassing employees everywhere he’s ever been employed. Sounds like we won’t be re-hiring the failed murderer, either, but he was definitely not ruled out immediately just for the attempted murder.
This doesn’t quite fit, but it still astounds me. We had an OpSec guy start in a role that we all thought another guy would be offered. Within a day or two, it was apparent her fudged most, if not all, of his resume. Rather than fire him (despite the industry in which we work and the role itself being based on integrity and honesty), they made the guy who should have been promoted into the role train this guy. However, because he likely had no experience in the field, he put in his resignation within a week and we never heard from him again. During the same period of time, another new guy started, reached out to me to assist with a project, and turned in the original version without my inputs, and I came in the following day to a series of nasty e-mails from a manager (not my manager), and our chain of command. When I politely forwarded everyone my exchanges with the new employee, as well as the updated project I sent him, radio silence. It’s my fault, though, for actually being competent at my job, I guess.
i work at a daycare and more than once people have walked out on the job crying and having a meltdown in front of the children because they had to change a diaper. and expect to be called back in the next day for their shift lol
About 1 month- you say that's not related to the question....right? But wait -it gets better...2 actual days in service... Well- this was a completely interview vetted and psychologically examined Mr Big Vice president Sales Manager for a multi national company's USA division. Making 6 figures with potential for big bonuses! The interview process for low level production line management like myself was difficult so I can't imagine his level of months of vetting. This was NOT a minimum wage temporary position! He'd been in company training for 3 weeks which meant flying around the country and getting introduced to the higher ups above him then was finally released to "Sales manage" his sales force. About 2 days into his "Sales managing" he sent a completely off the hook email to everyone else in the division's manufacturing management about how the company's goals and methodology sucked and critical of everyone above his rank. My boss starts belly laughing from his office across the hall from mine and then called several of us down the hall to read the email from his screen. Someone asked "What's the email mean?" My boss said "It means that Mr Big VP Sales Manager is getting his ass fired!" Within under 2 hours, corporate HR sent out an email to EVERYONE in the division saying the Mr. Big VP Sales Manager was no longer with the company, was not to be allowed on company property, and to delete the email. Then, the very next day, we got a second corporate HR email saying that we were to have no contact with former Mr.Big VP Sales Manager and if he emailed or called us that we were to contact company legal department asap preserving the voice-mail or email from him. He'd apparently been abusively harassing some employees by phone and email after he was walked out the previous morning! Yikes!