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In person? Does he hold up to his name?

He's in his 80s or 90s by now. I doubt he's got any zing left in him.

He traded all his zing for semen

In russian there’s a name Semyon which is a variant of Simon I guess. Ё is often replaced by E in russian and lots of Semyons end up having ttavel passports with the word Semen in it. But jewish people even pronounce it as Semen. Why - i have no idea. At least it’s not as funny in Eastern Europe as semen is called sperm here.

You think that’s bad, I knew a chick in the Navy with the last name Tester! Seaman Tester!

Pubert.

Pubert fucking Addams

Michael, read it!

I’ll never forget that day.

Was that Geoff’s house part 2?

Sure was

"It's a lil baby with a fuckin Gomez mustache"

I only read the comments to make sure my name wasn't listed.

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"Thanks. My name is Adolf btw"

I have a friend with the last name Hitler. You down for some Adolf Hitler II?

Take the upvote and gift. I wasn’t ready for that!

Neither was Poland

Maybe u should give a shit just saying

Cleetus

I had a student named Cleetus. My first thought when reading his name on the list was "the slack jawed yokel." But I ended up loving that kid. He was smart and funny. Got along well with his classmates. I hope he's doing well all these years later. It's definitely a terrible name though, even though I had a positive experience with somebody named Cleetus.

Most folk would never eat a skunk, but then again, some folk’ll

Deletus

Can cleatus and deletus band together and make me unsee this?

Some folk’ll never lose a toe but then again some folk’ll

Like Cleetus the slack-jawed yokel!

And they gave this name to carnage

*Hey Brandeen!*

Bort.

“Are you talking to me?”

“No, my son is also named Bort”

“We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop!”

I repeat, we have sold out of Bort license plates!

Gaylord

Focker

And yet even Gaylord Focker had a girlfriend. What are YOU doing with your life, huh?

Not having awkward conversations with Robert Deniro about cat lactation?

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

I've met a kid named Gaylord in middle school recess (I was a teacher) a few years back. It was in France. - So what's your name? - "Jaylor" (naively pronounced with a French accent, can't render it for you to hear) - Oh how do you spell that? - G A Y L O R D - Oh so it's pronounced Gay-lord, right? (I articulate using proper english) - No! Jaylor! - So tell me, your parents don't speak English, do they? - No, why? - And you don't know English either, right? - I'm learning, why? - well... Don't feel pressured to.

In French You’d pronounce Gaylord roughly the same way as you would in English. We use the word “gay” and it means the same and is pronounced the same as the English word. “Ga” doesn’t make “Ja” sound

The "d" is silent though.

Not if you’re gay

Scooter, especially if that’s his real name.

CATCH A RIIIIIIIIIIDE

NEVER GON TAKE ME ALIVE YOU ROBOTIC SUMMA BITCH!!

AW SHIT IS YOU HYPERION?

Nah you guys are wrong: ALL THE LADIES SAY SCOOTER'S THE FASTEST RIDE IN TOWN. CATCH-A-RI--- AWW I JUST REALISED I INSULTED MYSELF

AWWW THIS IS ONE A THEM MOMENTS

I remember that scene the first ever time i played BL2... Goosebumps as he shouted that giant "CATCH A RIIIIIIDE". God I love that game.

Fuckin scooter braun

No one has replied with the answer yet but thats the bands name. He goes by HB baxter but is real name is Hans Geerdes.

Jimothy

Jim, James, Jimothy?

Can I call you Jim?

William M Buttlicker will do.

OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!!!

Barney is pretty bad. It sounds like either a fat drunk guy or a dinosaur.

That's why I go by Swarley.

*phone rings* *picks up phone* "phone for swarley!"

Swarls Barclay

Swarlos

Bob Swarley mon

Swar-lay

Swar-wait for it-lee

Sup Swarls

Pretty sure the dinosaur was actually a fat drunk guy too

"sad barney the dinosaur noises"

"sad barney the drunk guy in a dinosaur suit noises"

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You forgot about Barney Fife from Andy Griffith show. He was mostly a lovable dumbass deputy sheriff that liked to brag to cover up his ineptitude. Played by Don Knotts. My kid is 25 and knows who he is.

Best Barney of all time right there

I dunno, there’s Barney from Black Mesa

About that beer I owe ya

X Æ A-12 edit: For everyone asking how it's pronounced, i saved u a google search. Its x ash a twelve. you're welcome.

Poor kid

Exactly the opposite of poor kid

Poor rich kid

My deepest condolences

“Rich kids are poor too, because their parents often don’t have time to spend with them.” Can’t Remember the exact quote but it’s from Squid Game lol

I’d change my name to that for free billions of dollars.

I'd change my name to Used Cumsock for that kind of money lol.

Anyone who disagrees is lying

Especially because it'll never matter. Not like you'll need to be applying for jobs or anything

The name that says "my parents were assholes".

He'll drowning in Alien and robot pussy though

For me (a german) it is Herbert

Dinkleburg

“This is where I’d put my will to live!” **“IF I HAD ONE!”**

Darn you Dinkleburg!

Dick

I used to work with a salesman named Dick Bump.

I went to school with a kid named Richard Winkle. Everyone called him Dick Wrinkle. Poor kid.

Kid from my hometown named Dick Moore. In the phonebook his name would have read Moore Dick.

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I never understood why Richard became Dick rather than Rick, Rich, or Richie.

Read about this. People like to rhyme names…so it just happens. Why would Bill be short for William? Richard - Rick - Dick William - Will - Bill Theodore - Ted - Ned Robert - Rob - Bob

Fucking weird, but thanks for the explanation.

What I never understood was why “Peggy” was short for Margaret.

For the same rhyming reason! Because Maggie or Meg started off being short for Margaret (which makes sense), then from Cockney rhyming slang it turned into “Meggy - Peggy”.

Not rhymes but how? James -Jim John - Jack

And how did Charles become Chuck?

Henry to Hank. I knew brothers named Henry and Hank whose parents were unaware that Hank was a diminutive of Henry (immigrant family from non-Western country)

Jonathan - Jon - arse Anthony - Tony - fuck you Tony Then you have us Australian *any names* - yo cunt.

Whoa whoa whoa *Ted and NED*?!

Not so much as a bad name but in combination with a surname. I went to school with, Richard Cheeseman, and a Richard Issard.

There's a Nascar driver named Dick Trickle

Rest in peace. He was quite fun to watch.

My dad went to school with a lad named Hercules Geronimo. Though imo that's the chaddest name I've ever heard.

I know a dude named Heman. As in He-Man. Never bothered to ask for preferred pronouns.

I work with a guy named Thor Horseman.

Adolf

He pretty much ruined that for a while, Ken.

He ruined more than just the name Adolf. He also ruined a certain type of moustache for everyone. Kinda ruined a hairstyle too , but the worst part is that he ruined hating the jews , Ken.

Funny seeing you twice today, ken

While not that common nowadays, in Latin America is still a normal name.

Especially in Argentina?

I know a guy named buddy, bud for short. Imagine moaning that-

how to get friendzoned literally while having sex

'OH FUCK YA BUD'

As a Canadian I say this daily. Not joking.

My name's not BUDDY!

Hi buddy, I’m pal

I'm not your pal, friend

It’s not incrediboy either!

I scrolled through all these and my name isn't there, nice.

Horst

That’s a name?

It definitely is in Germany. It could barely pass for one in some other parts of the world, as well.

Yes, in germany at least. Our Minister of the Interior is called Horst. Don't know any young people with that name though.

The good ol Horst Seehofer

surprised to see Eugene and Keith a few times. I'm going to vote Bobat.

Keith immediately thought of Peter griffin breaking into carters vault

Coming after half of the Try Guys 😂

Lester, Cletus, Dick, Guy, Gay, Humphrey, Ace, Chad, Cash.

I feel pain just reading that….

People are really out here naming their sons Gay?

Have you not heard of the legend that is Gay Bowser?

I know a guy who changed his name TO Cash. He then ran for Governor while also failing to pay child support and nearly getting arrested for confronting his ex wife and kids at their school.

I think Ace is pretty cool...

Hubert

Cumberdale?

You taste like soot and poo.

Farnsworth (cue a indignant *WORNSTROM!!!*)

BillyBob

Jimminy BillyBob

Judas. Just can’t trust em.

Sue

Good name for a lawyer.

"Sue is my middle name"

How do you do

Now you’re gonna die.

I’ll name him Bill! Georges! Anything but Sue!

Skeeter

Barron, Reign, Prince, or any other "wealthy-sounding" name that celebs give to their kids. 🤢 I also really dislike Sterling.

Yeah, Archer is best Sterling

Prince (the symbol) the only one that made the name work for him.

What about the man, the myth, the legend, SCOTT STERLING?

I'm going go with 'Flem'.

All the Kardashian kids names.

So basically all directions

Engelbert

Humperdinck?

Bah! I told you never to say that name around me!

Humperdinck Humperdinck Humperdinck!

I'm not listening!

Engel in german means angel lol

Robert Paulson

HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON

Bob had Bitch Tits.

It's a good thing he's only Robert Paulson in death. In life... Bitch tits.

"Keith" -Peter Griffin When I was about 8, my grandfather used to say that he knew bad drivers while driving semi. He said their name was Richard Cranium. I thought it was weird that he knew so many people, and that they all had the same name. Then I realized he was calling them a Dick Head. -Edit fixed typo

Jack Hoff

I fucking hate the name Skylar... for any gender. I also hate Draven.

WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE OF DRAVEN!

Mashallah brother

Quigley

Gregory. I hate it. I'm a black dude with the name of a white guy from New Hampshire or some shit. I asked my mom why the hell she named me that she said and I quote: "I don't know. You just look like a Gregory."🙄

Im sorry but that made me laugh

Sounds cooler if you drop the Y. Good Scottish name.

Eustace

Jared. I only knew rude Jareds in school. I’m sure the overwhelming majority of them are good dudes but I picture unappealing men when I think of this name.

Keifth

The f is potent

If Family Guy is anything to go by, ...Keith.

Biggus dickus

Is he your good fweind in Wome?

Travis. Think about all the Travises you've met. On the whole a pretty awful bunch, right? To all the Travises reading this: You know what you did.

Travis Willingham tho. He's hot and a nice guy (as far as I can tell).

Travis Scott

Gilbert

Gilbert Blythe :(

Todd

Keith

Boris is a really horrible name

Only if you’re not Russian

It’s a great dog name tho

I know someone named Boris