The part about not wanting other men to look at his wife is where it turns from a preference to control and possession issues. Im glad you've had a positive influence on him for his daughters sake.
Has this changed your opinion of your friend?
It’s definitely something I think about. I guess as I get older I’ve noticed other things I’ve never really honed in on with him. We have been friends since we were 9. He became very religious over time, I did not. Honestly we are miles apart personality/view wise compared to when we were younger. He’s like family but I have found myself challenging why he thinks the way he does lately.
I also wonder if he may be autistic to some extent. Non diagnosed.
It sounds like he’s just an opinionated and controlling jerk. Do you go around spouting opinions on men’s facial hair? No. Because that’s their face and their choice. He needs to never again voice his makeup opinions unless asked (which he won’t be). Don’t feed into this behavior and don’t make excuses (religion, autism). This is all controlling personality.
I’m just being honest because he does have a lack of social cues. Says things he shouldn’t all the time and also obviously has adhd. I’m probably there at some level too. I’ve wondered for a long time, and all the signs make sense to me.
Can confirm. 3/3 men who told me they hate makeup and want me to stop wearing it turned out to be physically and/or mentally abusive. This became my most important test of a new relationship over the years, as soon as a man tells me I should stop wearing makeup I bolt the f out of there
In the spirit of subreddit, I try to never make top level replies to posts, but let me know if I should stay out of the comments in general and I’ll just read (please don’t ban as this forum helps me understand and fix biases and understand my wife’s perspective better).
I’m a man who formerly was pretty casual about saying I didn’t like makeup, and it took years to realize how offensive it is. My wife has tattooed eyeliner and most days that’s all she wears, including when I met her, so it didn’t come up very often in our relationship and it was never important enough to her for her to school me on it. I thought sharing my opinion would empower women in my life to ignore the expectations of men, but really I was just being rude in a different way. I think what helped was my wife being blunt about something she didn’t like, and it hurt my feelings. I can’t remember specifically since it was years ago. She said something like “I don’t like your [sunglasses/hat//haircut/covid beard].” She’s not very focused on looks and is almost always complimentary, and it truly hurt. Not because looking cute for her is my number one goal, but because it felt like I couldn’t do what I liked without some judgmental trade off. How is makeup any different than a beard/hat/sunglasses? It’s just a way to express yourself that slightly changes your appearance, right? If anything, it reinforced the thing women say about makeup—that they don’t wear makeup for men, they do it for themselves. With a beard, you’re more likely to get compliments from guys than women lol. Now, I understand and categorize it in with the “you should smile more” bs
IMO, it's already a red flag when it goes from preference to criticism or when it goes from "this is what I like" to "so everyone should do that."
It's one thing to say, "I prefer women who wear less makeup." It's another to say women who wear makeup are shallow, etc. or Women should wear less makeup (because I like that, as the subtext)
Or the wife shouldn’t wear makeup so she isn’t sexually attractive to other men.
A. So what if she is
B. One can wear makeup for other reasons, usually that’s the case
It’s hard to see his reaction to the daughter as normal “my girl is growing up” dad feelings after reading that.
Yes of course. I’m from London and was on the tube to work one day. I was touching my makeup up and a man leaned over to tell me that he preferred less makeup. I told him, “in that case, I recommend a tinted moisturiser, brown mascara and clear gloss”. He said, “no, you misunderstand. I don’t find makeup very attractive”. I asked him what made him think I was trying to attract him, or that I even cared about his opinion? He was stumped.
The arrogance to assume we wear it for them is staggering.
Not the person you’re responding to, but I have to sing the praises of Supergoop Mineral Mattescreen (SPF 40), which works like a blurring tinted primer and looks amazing on my dry skin, *and* Koa’s Mineral Tinted Sunscreen (SPF 45/PA+++), which is just cosmetically elegant and has a lovely skin-like dewy finish. I like using it in winter.
Both are reef-safe, plant-based, and cruelty-free. Supergoop is $40 for 1.5 oz.; Koa is $29 for 1.7 oz. I spend a lot of time outdoors and can verify that they both work great for protecting my skin. And I can put them both around my eyes with no issues.
I’m pale so I can’t speak to whether there’s a white cast issue on the Supergoop. I don’t think there would be, thanks to the tint. Koa is quite sheer, but also comes in a darker shade and reviews say there is no white cast with it.
Also relevant: I’m in the US.
Came here to say SuperGoop Mineral Mattescreen! I also LOVE their Glowscreen although it’s probably too tinted for some people and is more oily than the matte version. I like to have both on hand as I’m more olive toned so Mattescreen doesn’t cover as much.
I giggled at this a little. When my fiance doesn’t wear make-up people ask her if she is sick and it infuriates her. I think it’s mainly that she is pale, and people see her with makeup most of the time.
I rarely wear more than tinted moisturizer, the first I tried eyeliner after meeting my husband he thought I was ill.
(It was properly applied, he just had never seen me with eye make up and was confused.)
He really does prefer make up that makes me look like the best version of my natural self. And it's not a control thing either, he just actually likes the way people look normally instead of with extra make up.
I once briefly dated a man who *hated* it. I am the sort who wears a little BB cream for special events and nothing else, just to even out some rosacea on my cheeks. Most of the time I'm bare faced, bar some sunscreen.
He said he really prefers me without the bb cream, didn't think much of it, and stopped putting it on after date 3, because I would ordinarily do that anyway.
Then came the problems with the fact I was wearing moisturiser and sunscreen. Said it 'tasted funny' - and to my knowledge this man had never licked my face. At about date 6 it became a huge problem. I am a fair redhead and literally need my sunscreen or I will 100% burn within 30 minutes outside 😂
I decided that this was not a benign preference, which would be ok. It felt controlling and almost like a test about whether I would do this 'for him'. Ended it. Realised that if he could be this controlling after a month, God help me after a year.
Moral of the story - there is a big difference between someone who has a preference and someone who believes they have the right to dictate what you do with your own body.
I don't think it was about sunscreen.
I think it was about him testing to see if I'd be compliant. I have no doubt that a relationship with him would have been an abusive one. This is what abusers do - they start small to test the waters and then gradually turn up the heat. They never go straight to full-on abuse. Otherwise, it would be too easy to identify what's going on.
Damn, OP. Like, yes, I've met men who hate makeup but not to that extent, but yeah, what a controlling dickwad. I feel so sad for his wife and daughter.
(I've mostly just met wanna white knights who say shit like, "Women are so much ~prettier~ without makeup; you don't have to wear that stuff for us!" while all the girlies I know are like LOL, the fact that you think we wear this *for you* 😹😹😹)
I've met lots of guys who are derisive about makeup despite the fact that I'm sure they really do like it when it comes down to it. They just like a way to put down women who don't show them romantic interest. It's a pretty common thread of sexism.
Your friend has kind of taken it to the next level though, being directly controlling about it. It's pretty weird.
But yea the overall focus of the male gaze as a tool to monitor women's behavior is almost always central to men complaining about makeup, so I rarely think highly of men that start in on this crap.
I’ve only met one who was outspoken about it. He was my best friend’s boyfriend at the time and a controlling POS. Luckily she came to her senses, moved out, put on make up again and lived her best life.
Correction: I’ve met others who might have a _preference_ for less makeup, they might not like the aesthetics or the feel of skin or lips too covered in makeup, but not to the point where they try to control others choices.
Gosh that sounds absolutely insane and an absolutely jealous control freak. I couldn't imagine even being friends with a guy like that.
But yeah, I've met guys who SAY they hate makeup but then are clueless about half the women they see, thinking that if it isn't super obvious over the top makeup then the women must not be wearing makeup at all lol.
Here's the thing that men who hate makeup seem to not understand- I'm not wearing makeup for OTHER men. I wearing makeup when I want to feel better about myself. It's for ME! Not anyone else.
I stopped wearing makeup for a little while after having my baby and I wanted to feel like myself again. I finally found a new eyeliner that I love and I've been wearing it everyday for the last two weeks. 😁
I used to hate makeup. My views on myself really skewed a lot. However, I now think it's fun, it makes me look older, and it's almost like a therapeutic art. I've become very skilled in application. My husband has always been very supportive and likes the way it looks.
Absolutely control. It’s gross. I don’t wear a lot of makeup but I do wear it. Light foundation, eyeliner and mascara. I had an ex that wanted me to stop wearing it because it was “deceitful” and said I didn’t look the same without it. If you can imagine, it wasn’t the only thing he was controlling about.
Yep, my husband, but absolutely not in this way.
I have really terrible skin allergies, and I’d cry when my face hurt during and after wearing makeup.
My mom would feed me Benadryl and I’d slap my makeup on—a common occurrence in my house until I left for college.
It took exactly one of these weeping experiences to make my then-boyfriend ask me not to wear makeup. I was actually mad at him for not knowing the Benadryl trick, and he was disturbed that I’d fight through hives just to look like I was covering up hives.
Now whenever anyone asks, instead of telling the world my business, he just says he prefers me without it. If I wasn’t so terribly allergic, I doubt he’d care about me wearing makeup at all.
Most men can't differentiate between no makeup and a full face of natural look makeup plus instagram filters.When a man says they don't like makeup it usually means:
1. They don't like bright colours/obvious makeup & don't understand that natural look is makeup too
2. They think they are complimenting you by telling you that you don't need makeup because they think the only reason you wear makeup is because you don't like your face or are insecure
3. They are controlling and think men will be attracted to their partner (or daughter) if they wear makeup (or that women only wear it to attract men)
Buddy boy is type 3 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
My husband hates make up, hated when I got our daughter a little make up play set for Christmas or whatever. He says things along the same lines “you look fine as you are” “you shouldn’t wear it for other men” Any time he says this I gently remind him women generally don’t wear make up for men, we wear make up for ourselves and other women. The only people who compliment and appreciate my make up is women lol.
Ok that part where he said "You shouldn't wear it for other men" is BAD and not nice to say. He could just be insecure though and anxious too.
I'm pretty sure in most trustful relationships, the person doesn't wear makeup for other men or women specifically. They wear it for themselves like you said.
But if someone wore makeup for other men or women, maybe that is not the greatest. If your husband or wife wore makeup for other people specifically trying to get attention? That doesn't sound too good.
But makeup to highlight the natural beauty someone has is fine I think.
The most I've encountered personally is the sort of man who will tell a woman she doesn't need it in a "you look absolutely beautiful regardless" sort of way, which is miles apart from someone saying it in your friend's "I prefer you be as invisible as possible out in the world" sort of way. If one of my friends were to say something like that, I'd start watching them more closely for other signs of controlling behavior.
I’m suspicious of even the first of these. I still think my ex-hb told me I looked beautiful without make-up because he didn’t want me to look attractive to other men.
Not only is this a control thing, but this means this man is walking around thinking every woman he notices wearing makeup is sexually available to him.
Anyone who tries to control your appearance is not worth it. Whether they’re trying to dictate what kind of clothes you wear or getting bent out of shape over makeup, it just isn’t worth the stress.
Also men need to stop acting like wearing makeup = making yourself sexually available or palatable to men. If I’m putting on glitter and gloss it’s for me, if I’m bare faced that’s for me too. Most men don’t appreciate the art it takes to do makeup well so why they think any effort a woman puts in is for their benefit is beyond me.
Some men out there really associate makeup with sexual stuff? Ok that is just bad. I've thought of makeup just enhancing or highlighting someone's beauty, but saying makeup is sexual? Just awful.
And yes it does take effort to put makeup. More men should appreciate that...
My husband prefers me with no makeup, undyed hair and no cosmetic procedures (I get minimal Dysport). However, did he say anything else after voicing that opinion one time only? No. I do what I want and he finds me beautiful regardless. It’s concerning that your friend has such a strong opinion on it and seems controlling tbh.
Omg this made me mad. I wear make up on days OFF because I feel more “put together “ i know I look tired/hungover without it and just prefer the way I look with it on.
Yes. My father was like this. I think it was a controlling thing. Luckily he died when I was a kid so I never had to deal with it, but he was very controlling with my mother. She once told me a story about how she got dressed up and put makeup on before they went out to dinner and he refused to leave the house with her until she washed her face.
Ugh, reminds me of my ex husband. He would tell me all the time that it makes women look like clowns, it was unnecessarily expensive, it takes too much time, the list went on and on. We had a daughter, and he was adamant that I don't expose her to it. After our divorce, he would play makeup with her, letting her do his, so I thought we were over it. For her 9th birthday, my best friend gifted her a full skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen, micellar water, cotton rounds) along with a drugstore makeup palette, a blush, a couple lipsticks, and colorful eye crayons. He lost his shit at me over the makeup, saying it should be talked about before she gets stuff like that. 🙄
It sounds like the man in your post is the jealous type and wants to control the women in his family.
I had a 32 year old man *who I wasn’t dating* tell me makeup was women sexualizing things. So it was inappropriate to wear it at the grocery store, business settings, school, and so on.
I told him he was an idiot and continued to wear it when and where I pleased and somehow didn’t sexualize the places I went.
Ick, that's gross.
I dated a guy who kept telling me not to wear makeup. I was young and didn't understand it at first, but then he started to do a lot of other shady shit, and it made me realize that the makeup thing was related to misogny.
This guy seems to think that the ONLY reason women wear makeup is to attract men. But that's not the case. I'm married, but I still wore makeup every day of the pandemic lockdown. No one else was going to see me, but I put makeup on every day, because I LIKE it. I didn't do it for him. I did it for me. He doesn't notice or care if I'm wearing it or not.
Most women are wearing it for themselves, not for men. Your friend is an asshole.
Yeah. My cousin married a man like this. He HATED makeup. Hated her using products in her hair. Hated her wearing certain articles of clothing. See where this is going? A controlling ass wipe, he was.
My ex used to not like me wearing makeup. I did it anyway. Some guys just have preferences I guess. It only becomes a problem when they demand you not wear it. My friend’s bf doesn’t like earrings for some reason. She still wears them when she wants though.
I mean I have my “preferred” looks on my fiance. But at the end of the day I don’t care either way. I know she does it for fun, and that’s just what it is to her. If she is having fun with it im “with it”
The part about not wanting other men to look at his wife is where it turns from a preference to control and possession issues. Im glad you've had a positive influence on him for his daughters sake. Has this changed your opinion of your friend?
It’s definitely something I think about. I guess as I get older I’ve noticed other things I’ve never really honed in on with him. We have been friends since we were 9. He became very religious over time, I did not. Honestly we are miles apart personality/view wise compared to when we were younger. He’s like family but I have found myself challenging why he thinks the way he does lately. I also wonder if he may be autistic to some extent. Non diagnosed.
It sounds like he’s just an opinionated and controlling jerk. Do you go around spouting opinions on men’s facial hair? No. Because that’s their face and their choice. He needs to never again voice his makeup opinions unless asked (which he won’t be). Don’t feed into this behavior and don’t make excuses (religion, autism). This is all controlling personality.
As an autistic woman with adhd, can we get away from scapegoating neurodiverse people for the ills of society at large. It's gross and unacceptable. 🙄
I’m just being honest because he does have a lack of social cues. Says things he shouldn’t all the time and also obviously has adhd. I’m probably there at some level too. I’ve wondered for a long time, and all the signs make sense to me.
I know men who don’t like it, but not like your buddy. But that guy, it’s definitely a control thing. 🚩
Can confirm. 3/3 men who told me they hate makeup and want me to stop wearing it turned out to be physically and/or mentally abusive. This became my most important test of a new relationship over the years, as soon as a man tells me I should stop wearing makeup I bolt the f out of there
In the spirit of subreddit, I try to never make top level replies to posts, but let me know if I should stay out of the comments in general and I’ll just read (please don’t ban as this forum helps me understand and fix biases and understand my wife’s perspective better). I’m a man who formerly was pretty casual about saying I didn’t like makeup, and it took years to realize how offensive it is. My wife has tattooed eyeliner and most days that’s all she wears, including when I met her, so it didn’t come up very often in our relationship and it was never important enough to her for her to school me on it. I thought sharing my opinion would empower women in my life to ignore the expectations of men, but really I was just being rude in a different way. I think what helped was my wife being blunt about something she didn’t like, and it hurt my feelings. I can’t remember specifically since it was years ago. She said something like “I don’t like your [sunglasses/hat//haircut/covid beard].” She’s not very focused on looks and is almost always complimentary, and it truly hurt. Not because looking cute for her is my number one goal, but because it felt like I couldn’t do what I liked without some judgmental trade off. How is makeup any different than a beard/hat/sunglasses? It’s just a way to express yourself that slightly changes your appearance, right? If anything, it reinforced the thing women say about makeup—that they don’t wear makeup for men, they do it for themselves. With a beard, you’re more likely to get compliments from guys than women lol. Now, I understand and categorize it in with the “you should smile more” bs
Thank you for this. I will definitely be adding this to my man screening arsenal.
I'm sorry if I said anything offensive :( I deleted the comment.
IMO, it's already a red flag when it goes from preference to criticism or when it goes from "this is what I like" to "so everyone should do that." It's one thing to say, "I prefer women who wear less makeup." It's another to say women who wear makeup are shallow, etc. or Women should wear less makeup (because I like that, as the subtext)
Or the wife shouldn’t wear makeup so she isn’t sexually attractive to other men. A. So what if she is B. One can wear makeup for other reasons, usually that’s the case It’s hard to see his reaction to the daughter as normal “my girl is growing up” dad feelings after reading that.
Yes of course. I’m from London and was on the tube to work one day. I was touching my makeup up and a man leaned over to tell me that he preferred less makeup. I told him, “in that case, I recommend a tinted moisturiser, brown mascara and clear gloss”. He said, “no, you misunderstand. I don’t find makeup very attractive”. I asked him what made him think I was trying to attract him, or that I even cared about his opinion? He was stumped. The arrogance to assume we wear it for them is staggering.
This is the best answer. I need to remember that.
Can't imagine a complete stranger telling me to change something about myself because they didn't like it. Astounding.
I love this response so much. And can confirm, I’m a lazy makeup artist. When I do wear it I go for tinted sunscreen, mascara, and lip balm.
What type of tinted sunscreen do you recommend?
I have a few that I like: - The physical tinted one from DMTLGY, spf 44 - Maybelline’s dream BB cream spf 30 - face republic full bloom tint spf 50
Not the person you’re responding to, but I have to sing the praises of Supergoop Mineral Mattescreen (SPF 40), which works like a blurring tinted primer and looks amazing on my dry skin, *and* Koa’s Mineral Tinted Sunscreen (SPF 45/PA+++), which is just cosmetically elegant and has a lovely skin-like dewy finish. I like using it in winter. Both are reef-safe, plant-based, and cruelty-free. Supergoop is $40 for 1.5 oz.; Koa is $29 for 1.7 oz. I spend a lot of time outdoors and can verify that they both work great for protecting my skin. And I can put them both around my eyes with no issues. I’m pale so I can’t speak to whether there’s a white cast issue on the Supergoop. I don’t think there would be, thanks to the tint. Koa is quite sheer, but also comes in a darker shade and reviews say there is no white cast with it. Also relevant: I’m in the US.
Came here to say SuperGoop Mineral Mattescreen! I also LOVE their Glowscreen although it’s probably too tinted for some people and is more oily than the matte version. I like to have both on hand as I’m more olive toned so Mattescreen doesn’t cover as much.
No YOU misunderstand sir, your taste in makeup has nothing to do with ME.
I admire you.
A man will tell you he hates make-up then on the one day you don't wear it he's like "you look sick" They don't know what they're talking about
As men always like to say about women: don't listen to what they say, watch what they do.
I giggled at this a little. When my fiance doesn’t wear make-up people ask her if she is sick and it infuriates her. I think it’s mainly that she is pale, and people see her with makeup most of the time.
I rarely wear more than tinted moisturizer, the first I tried eyeliner after meeting my husband he thought I was ill. (It was properly applied, he just had never seen me with eye make up and was confused.) He really does prefer make up that makes me look like the best version of my natural self. And it's not a control thing either, he just actually likes the way people look normally instead of with extra make up.
I once briefly dated a man who *hated* it. I am the sort who wears a little BB cream for special events and nothing else, just to even out some rosacea on my cheeks. Most of the time I'm bare faced, bar some sunscreen. He said he really prefers me without the bb cream, didn't think much of it, and stopped putting it on after date 3, because I would ordinarily do that anyway. Then came the problems with the fact I was wearing moisturiser and sunscreen. Said it 'tasted funny' - and to my knowledge this man had never licked my face. At about date 6 it became a huge problem. I am a fair redhead and literally need my sunscreen or I will 100% burn within 30 minutes outside 😂 I decided that this was not a benign preference, which would be ok. It felt controlling and almost like a test about whether I would do this 'for him'. Ended it. Realised that if he could be this controlling after a month, God help me after a year. Moral of the story - there is a big difference between someone who has a preference and someone who believes they have the right to dictate what you do with your own body.
Wow. Huge red flag expecting to risk skin cancer for them.
Oh wow! He probably will have bad skin as he ages (not to mention increased risk of skin cancer) because it’s so important to wear sunscreen.
I don't think it was about sunscreen. I think it was about him testing to see if I'd be compliant. I have no doubt that a relationship with him would have been an abusive one. This is what abusers do - they start small to test the waters and then gradually turn up the heat. They never go straight to full-on abuse. Otherwise, it would be too easy to identify what's going on.
Oh definitely. I’m sorry you had this experience but glad you got out before it could escalate.
Yikes. Dangerous control freak vibes.
Truly 🤮🤮🤮
Damn, OP. Like, yes, I've met men who hate makeup but not to that extent, but yeah, what a controlling dickwad. I feel so sad for his wife and daughter. (I've mostly just met wanna white knights who say shit like, "Women are so much ~prettier~ without makeup; you don't have to wear that stuff for us!" while all the girlies I know are like LOL, the fact that you think we wear this *for you* 😹😹😹)
If that guy keeps it up, he might even qualify for a Saudi passport. Apparently Saudi men don’t like their wives being looked at either.
It’s a control thing. If a man starts telling you how to do your make up run
I've met lots of guys who are derisive about makeup despite the fact that I'm sure they really do like it when it comes down to it. They just like a way to put down women who don't show them romantic interest. It's a pretty common thread of sexism. Your friend has kind of taken it to the next level though, being directly controlling about it. It's pretty weird. But yea the overall focus of the male gaze as a tool to monitor women's behavior is almost always central to men complaining about makeup, so I rarely think highly of men that start in on this crap.
He sounds possessive and controlling.
You bet your rooty patooty it's a control thing! Jealousy based on insecurity.
I’ve only met one who was outspoken about it. He was my best friend’s boyfriend at the time and a controlling POS. Luckily she came to her senses, moved out, put on make up again and lived her best life. Correction: I’ve met others who might have a _preference_ for less makeup, they might not like the aesthetics or the feel of skin or lips too covered in makeup, but not to the point where they try to control others choices.
Gosh that sounds absolutely insane and an absolutely jealous control freak. I couldn't imagine even being friends with a guy like that. But yeah, I've met guys who SAY they hate makeup but then are clueless about half the women they see, thinking that if it isn't super obvious over the top makeup then the women must not be wearing makeup at all lol.
Sounds like he's on that Jordan Peterson juice of thinking that women wear makeup solely to find partners...
Major red flags
I would not be friends with someone who doesn't believe in bodily autonomy.
Here's the thing that men who hate makeup seem to not understand- I'm not wearing makeup for OTHER men. I wearing makeup when I want to feel better about myself. It's for ME! Not anyone else. I stopped wearing makeup for a little while after having my baby and I wanted to feel like myself again. I finally found a new eyeliner that I love and I've been wearing it everyday for the last two weeks. 😁
I e had a few boyfriends who hatede wearing makeup and all of them were.controlljng
Yes, misogyny has been at the center of every man I've known that doesn't like make up.
I used to hate makeup. My views on myself really skewed a lot. However, I now think it's fun, it makes me look older, and it's almost like a therapeutic art. I've become very skilled in application. My husband has always been very supportive and likes the way it looks.
Absolutely control. It’s gross. I don’t wear a lot of makeup but I do wear it. Light foundation, eyeliner and mascara. I had an ex that wanted me to stop wearing it because it was “deceitful” and said I didn’t look the same without it. If you can imagine, it wasn’t the only thing he was controlling about.
Yep, my husband, but absolutely not in this way. I have really terrible skin allergies, and I’d cry when my face hurt during and after wearing makeup. My mom would feed me Benadryl and I’d slap my makeup on—a common occurrence in my house until I left for college. It took exactly one of these weeping experiences to make my then-boyfriend ask me not to wear makeup. I was actually mad at him for not knowing the Benadryl trick, and he was disturbed that I’d fight through hives just to look like I was covering up hives. Now whenever anyone asks, instead of telling the world my business, he just says he prefers me without it. If I wasn’t so terribly allergic, I doubt he’d care about me wearing makeup at all.
>he seemed to not like the idea of other men looking at his wife >>yawn<<
"Is this controlling?"
His poor wife. She's married to an ass.
Most men can't differentiate between no makeup and a full face of natural look makeup plus instagram filters.When a man says they don't like makeup it usually means: 1. They don't like bright colours/obvious makeup & don't understand that natural look is makeup too 2. They think they are complimenting you by telling you that you don't need makeup because they think the only reason you wear makeup is because you don't like your face or are insecure 3. They are controlling and think men will be attracted to their partner (or daughter) if they wear makeup (or that women only wear it to attract men) Buddy boy is type 3 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What if I told someone that they look beautiful no matter what? And that's it? No telling "you should do that or this"
This is the same impulse that causes men in the Arab world to require that their human property be covered from head to toe.
My husband hates make up, hated when I got our daughter a little make up play set for Christmas or whatever. He says things along the same lines “you look fine as you are” “you shouldn’t wear it for other men” Any time he says this I gently remind him women generally don’t wear make up for men, we wear make up for ourselves and other women. The only people who compliment and appreciate my make up is women lol.
Ok that part where he said "You shouldn't wear it for other men" is BAD and not nice to say. He could just be insecure though and anxious too. I'm pretty sure in most trustful relationships, the person doesn't wear makeup for other men or women specifically. They wear it for themselves like you said. But if someone wore makeup for other men or women, maybe that is not the greatest. If your husband or wife wore makeup for other people specifically trying to get attention? That doesn't sound too good. But makeup to highlight the natural beauty someone has is fine I think.
The most I've encountered personally is the sort of man who will tell a woman she doesn't need it in a "you look absolutely beautiful regardless" sort of way, which is miles apart from someone saying it in your friend's "I prefer you be as invisible as possible out in the world" sort of way. If one of my friends were to say something like that, I'd start watching them more closely for other signs of controlling behavior.
I’m suspicious of even the first of these. I still think my ex-hb told me I looked beautiful without make-up because he didn’t want me to look attractive to other men.
He should wear makeup.
Your friend is a control freak and I hope the women in his life can escape him.
Not only is this a control thing, but this means this man is walking around thinking every woman he notices wearing makeup is sexually available to him.
Does he wear a hat? Does he have a beard?
Anyone who tries to control your appearance is not worth it. Whether they’re trying to dictate what kind of clothes you wear or getting bent out of shape over makeup, it just isn’t worth the stress. Also men need to stop acting like wearing makeup = making yourself sexually available or palatable to men. If I’m putting on glitter and gloss it’s for me, if I’m bare faced that’s for me too. Most men don’t appreciate the art it takes to do makeup well so why they think any effort a woman puts in is for their benefit is beyond me.
Some men out there really associate makeup with sexual stuff? Ok that is just bad. I've thought of makeup just enhancing or highlighting someone's beauty, but saying makeup is sexual? Just awful. And yes it does take effort to put makeup. More men should appreciate that...
I think he needs to elevate his mental state up to current age and get over himself.
My husband prefers me with no makeup, undyed hair and no cosmetic procedures (I get minimal Dysport). However, did he say anything else after voicing that opinion one time only? No. I do what I want and he finds me beautiful regardless. It’s concerning that your friend has such a strong opinion on it and seems controlling tbh.
Omg this made me mad. I wear make up on days OFF because I feel more “put together “ i know I look tired/hungover without it and just prefer the way I look with it on.
Yes. My father was like this. I think it was a controlling thing. Luckily he died when I was a kid so I never had to deal with it, but he was very controlling with my mother. She once told me a story about how she got dressed up and put makeup on before they went out to dinner and he refused to leave the house with her until she washed her face.
Ugh, reminds me of my ex husband. He would tell me all the time that it makes women look like clowns, it was unnecessarily expensive, it takes too much time, the list went on and on. We had a daughter, and he was adamant that I don't expose her to it. After our divorce, he would play makeup with her, letting her do his, so I thought we were over it. For her 9th birthday, my best friend gifted her a full skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer, sunscreen, micellar water, cotton rounds) along with a drugstore makeup palette, a blush, a couple lipsticks, and colorful eye crayons. He lost his shit at me over the makeup, saying it should be talked about before she gets stuff like that. 🙄
It sounds like the man in your post is the jealous type and wants to control the women in his family. I had a 32 year old man *who I wasn’t dating* tell me makeup was women sexualizing things. So it was inappropriate to wear it at the grocery store, business settings, school, and so on. I told him he was an idiot and continued to wear it when and where I pleased and somehow didn’t sexualize the places I went.
Ick, that's gross. I dated a guy who kept telling me not to wear makeup. I was young and didn't understand it at first, but then he started to do a lot of other shady shit, and it made me realize that the makeup thing was related to misogny. This guy seems to think that the ONLY reason women wear makeup is to attract men. But that's not the case. I'm married, but I still wore makeup every day of the pandemic lockdown. No one else was going to see me, but I put makeup on every day, because I LIKE it. I didn't do it for him. I did it for me. He doesn't notice or care if I'm wearing it or not. Most women are wearing it for themselves, not for men. Your friend is an asshole.
Yeah. My cousin married a man like this. He HATED makeup. Hated her using products in her hair. Hated her wearing certain articles of clothing. See where this is going? A controlling ass wipe, he was.
Yes, my father. He’s controlling, chauvinistic.
Patriarchy has some twists and turns! Some men want the Eye Candy appearance and some prefer the Handmaids Tale appearance.
I would just ask him why he hates make up. Not liking it is different than "seething." That seems controlling and weird.
My ex used to not like me wearing makeup. I did it anyway. Some guys just have preferences I guess. It only becomes a problem when they demand you not wear it. My friend’s bf doesn’t like earrings for some reason. She still wears them when she wants though.
[удалено]
I mean I have my “preferred” looks on my fiance. But at the end of the day I don’t care either way. I know she does it for fun, and that’s just what it is to her. If she is having fun with it im “with it”