My stomach looks like i was attacked by a bear theres straight up claw marks from the height of my belly button to my hips
My weight feels like its fixable but my marks i dont think will ever heal
My husband tells me they are beautiful and he will always be grateful for the proof of me carrying our child
They will never go away but they will fade A LOT. It just takes some time. I have tons of them from when I was a teenager. They’re still there but tbh I don’t even notice them anymore, they’re very faded. I mean, you can see them but they’re really close to the shade of the rest of my skin. Your husband sounds great. Just wanted to let you know because at the time I got my stretch marks I was devastated, and a few years later it was not as big of a deal as I thought.
It’s not wrong to feel sad. Two things can be true at once. You can both feel sad for what’s been lost and happy to get a precious baby to raise.
After my first was born, I eventually got around to feeling better about my body and what it had done but still had the “but before baby x was better/not scarred/flat/firm/whatever.” And that doesn’t change how grateful I am for what my body has done growing my children.
I love this sentiment! ❤️
I did plenty of bawling about my changing body while pregnant. When I got boob stretch marks in like the second trimester. When I grew out of various clothes. Spent literal days being sad when I weighed in at more than I thought I should at multiple different ob appointments. Postpartum I decided to tell nurses I do not want to know my weight. I have a beautiful 8 mo baby and will allow nurses or docs to tell me how much I weigh when I'm all done breastfeeding.
It’s really nothing you did wrong, stretch marks are entirely genetic! No cream is going to spare you them if it’s something that runs in your family. Like you, I didn’t have them until really late but from 38-40 weeks I got a ton and now my belly is all speckled in stretch marks… they’ve grown on me though, and they do fade over time! I hope you feel better soon. Your body is doing amazing work.
I didn’t even know I had so many until after I delivered the baby. My mom got quite a few while pregnant with my sister & I. I’ve always gotten stretch marks as my weight has fluctuated so I shouldn’t have been too surprised to see how many I ended up with.
I feel you! My aunt told me the other day she can’t believe how big I am and am I sureeee there isn’t two?
I’m 33 weeks and have felt really good about my body until hearing these types of comments. It’s bikini season and I feel like ill traumatized people if I go to the beach.
Ugh I actually just saw stretch marks today too and I had a breakdown. I really thought I’d gotten to the end of pregnancy without them. Between that and my swollen feet, I felt so bad about myself today. I’m sorry you’re feeling the same way friend
Me too! I didn't know how bad mine were until I delivered the baby. When I finally showed my husband I cried! I've been told they will fade and keep telling myself they are battle scars. All in all, wouldn't trade them for my baby girl.
I'm not that far along yet, but I totally understand the feeling. I have had horrible acne ever since I found out I'm pregnant, and all of my family including my mom suggest that I must not be eating healthy food or not drinking enough water, when it's all hormonal and I can't do anything about it. It is hard enough to deal with all the body changes, but it's harder when people tell you it's to be expected or that you must be doing something wrong.
So still earlier on for me, so unsure what pregnancy will bring for me in the marks department. However, I did get stretch marks due to some extreme weight loss as a teenager on my thighs. I’m talking bright pink marks so obvious someone once asked if they were self harm. Over time, they faded significantly. I can feel the texture, but genuinely can’t see them in photos, or even at close distance.
So, even they look gnarly now, they will lighten up and be wayyyyy less obvious! Sorry you’re dealing with this. Your feelings are super valid - the changes are rough.
And this is why millennials are gentle parenting 🤦♀️ Is it part of pregnancy? Yes. Are you allowed to have big feelings about it anyway? Also yes. I bet you anything your mom felt the same at the time and just forgot about it now. It's totally ok to mourn your previous self. It doesn't make you a bad mom or ungrateful for your changing body. Also, it's totally possible to mourn your previous self while embracing your new self. If it helps, I was low-key devastated when I noticed stretch marks AND I now love them because they're a reminder of this truly incredible process.
Edit: typo
Everything about your life and body are changing, I’m sorry that they’re being so invalidating. Stretch marks may be normal and expected but you’re not wrong to feel a way about them. In all likelihood, they’ll fade fast especially if it took them so long to show up.
With HG I have lost all my muscle and I could cry every day about all my cellulite. Everyone pretends they don’t see it, but my butt specifically has dissolved to nothing. Solidarity mama, you’ll overcome this poor body image moment and feel good again.
I didn’t get any stretch marks until about 34 weeks and I swear they get worse everyday.
It’s so disappointing to see and I’m so, so sad about it. I know it’s all part of bringing my baby into the world but that doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed that I’ll always have to think about my stretch marks moving forward.
I also lost about 35 pounds a few years ago and I’m 35 pounds up now at 37 weeks. So I’m so disappointed that I’m going to have to go on another weight loss journey while postpartum.
I’m very happy and thankful for my baby, but I don’t think that means I can’t be sad that my body has to change as a part of the process.
I feel this. when I was 18 weeks I noticed stretch marks at the bottom of my stomach and asked my child’s father does he think they will go away and he said no. I started crying like a baby lol. ive always struggled with body image issues so seeing that just had me a emotional mess. now im 32w pregnant and they stretch from the bottom of my stomach almost pat my belly button. every time I look at them I try to tell myself plenty of women of women have them and its what makes my bump unique. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t cause I wonder if they will still be as prominent after birth
Body dysmorphia suuuuuucks, and it’s not always something that goes away even when you want it to…at least in my experience.
I used to feel really bad about how bad I felt about myself (still do sometimes) and then I realised that my body dysmorphia is really similar to OCD intrusive thoughts (they flare up when I am anxious/tired/depressed and/or in a shame spiral etc) and it works better if I treat them that way.
You can’t stop intrusive thoughts, it’s not your fault you have them, you can only try not to feed them or feel bad they are there. It is super stressful and unpleasant to have intrusive thoughts of any kind, so give yourself grace. I find the trick of repeating them back in silly voices (like Mickey Mouse) helps to remind myself they are just thoughts and something annoying my brain does in response to stress. They are not good or bad, they just are. If I could delete them from my brain though I 100% would 😅
There is nothing wrong with having stretch marks, there are a lot of women struggling to conceive who would give anything to have them if it meant also being able to have a baby - but that doesn’t mean you have to love them, but neutrality is a great goal.
Light therapy and micro needling apparently help and it’s also okay to book in treatments for them if that gives you some sense of agency and comfort
I did some serious lasering on old stretch makes from fast weight gain on my back legs and thighs. I didn’t really help. Maybe stomach skin is different? Maybe it’s more effective if you laser right away when they are purple/red. I will saw my stretch marks dont bother me like they used to bc I lost weight and have a healthy mind set. Being pregnant now tho I am nervous about getting more bc I already have so many on my legs
I feel for you. In the past couple of weeks I started getting stretch marks on my breasts and it is so bad that the lower half of each one is almost completely purple 😭 I don't like seeing it in the mirror but I try to remind myself they will fade and be worth it when I get to hold my son. I guiltily keep praying I don't get any on my stomach since I have them so bad on my chest.
I felt exactly the same!! But two years postpartum and my stretch marks had nearly faded completely and my stomach more or less returned to the way it was pre pregnancy.
I found stretch marks on my boob yesterday at only 19 weeks pregnant. Just one boob, and they haven't even grown that much yet! Could they at least be even?? 🥲
All that to say, you are not alone. It's OK to be sad about body changes AND excited for your baby. Both (all) emotions can exist at the same time!
That sucks. I thought I’d avoided stretch marks too, but they showed up after I gave birth. If it’s any consolation, now that I’m a year post partum, they’re only noticeable if you’re really looking for them.
Your body will be changed by birth, but the lasting changes probably won’t be as big as they seem right now at the end of your pregnancy. Healing takes time though. When I was 6 months pp I was very worried that I still had SPD. But apparently relaxin can take months to leave the system. Thanks to PT and time, those symptoms have finally gone away at around the time it’s taken for my linea nigra to disappear.
There have definitely been times when I’ve felt sad about chances to my body. But in hindsight, I wish I’d spent less time worrying that my body at a few months post partum was the new normal.
It took me a year post partum to feel better about my body and the changes. It gets better and you’ll get there - I promise. Your body will chnage - but what you see immediately post partum isn’t what you will look like later on. It’s all a season and you’ll come out the other end - I promise ❤️
Give it a few years! I got my tummy stretch marks from plain old getting fat and it hit me like a wrecking ball. Thought I'd never feel beautiful again. They were like, dark purple and made me want to die because I didn't even have a kid. Now about 3 years later you can barely notice them by comparison. They started to noticeably fade around a year. It sucks for sure when you first get them though, I'm sorry :(
As someone who has had stretch marks from the back of my knees to my lower back since my major tween growth spurt, I knew I was also going to get them in pregnancy. I did get them under my belly during pregnancy and then, weirdly, it's like during/immediately after birth I got a bunch in weird spots like where my thighs join my pelvis. As in, I wemt home from the hospital and looked in my full length mirror and there was a bunch more! Not saying it to scare you, more to tell you the body is capable of all sorts of stuff and there might be more.
Of course it's okay to be sad and even weirded by physical changes to your body, especially of they're permanent. Just like everything else that will shift in your life through pregnancy and into parenthood, it is OKAY to mourn the changes.
However, I can tell you from the other side that it's honestly no big deal. Stretch marks and cellulite are very targeted by the beauty industry and hyped into something when they're not really anything and super normal. They will also fade in time, a lot, and become more just textural differences against your skin than anything else. People will not care or judge you, they likely won't even notice. Those that do, you don't need them in your life unless they're celebrating your body. I know the "nobody cares" argument is poor because YOU care and that's what matters, but hopefully you can learn to be gentle to yourself.
I found in that first year I had little to no time to really think about and focus on nitpicking about my body. It helped me release a lot of hangups, including my low key fear of leaving the house without any makeup on. I was that kind of person. I was able to focus on something, someone else and thinking of how I wanted them (my child) to see their body and other people's bodies and how I celebrated their body in all its rolls and lumps and bumps. It changed how I lived within my own body, if only to model to my child. I learned to be stronger because of her, it healed me.
I hope for you that on the other side of your mourning the changes, you find an acceptance for and freedom from certain physical hangups on your body. You don't have to LOVE all the features, just peacefully coexist. Your body will shift and change shapes, maybe with another pregnancy or multiple, you'll lose, you'll gain, your alignment within your whole skeleton and skin will change, and I hope you can be okay in the end.
Unfortunately you can't really stop them from coming. Some women moisturize nonstop and get them. Some have the driest skin ever and not a single mark. And all variations in between. The last few weeks is where I get hit with them. I'm on baby #3 and no new ones yet (25 week) but I'm sure they're coming 33+ weeks. I will say, they usually fade. Mine did. Unless I'm in the right lighting, you can't even see them much.
You aren't wrong for being sad. It sucks to experience all these changes. I struggle with body image issues pretty badly and I feel so happy to have this growing belly but find myself sad seeing others in 'good' shape.
I wanted to be OK with stretch marks, but I also got really upset when I saw mine for the first time. They appeared so suddenly, I was shocked and I have to admit that I cried about them. A lot.
Change is hard! Body image is tough! You’re definitely not alone.
My stretch marks didn't appear until the last three weeks of pregnancy.
To make it so far and think you lucked out, only for them to show up right at the end is pretty crushing. I think if they appeared earlier it wouldn't have been nearly as disappointing.
I didn’t have a single stretch mark with my first and I thought I was in the clear because it usually genetic! I got some minor stretch marks with my second around 30 weeks and it really fucked with me for awhile. I’m kind of over it because they are so low and I’m sure they’ll fade but I can’t help but being a bit disappointed with my body this time around.
If it makes you feel better it’s mostly genetic. There’s not much you can do :/ doesn’t help me personally but it’s not due to lotion or no lotion.
It's not wrong to be sad. I thought I was lucky since I didn't see any until I accidentally saw the underside of the bump and it crushed me a little when I found out lol I was like oh man.... but I wasnt diligently applying coconut oil or anything cause I have read that it is mostly our body internally. Like external factors like oil wouldn't help much it just be like that kind. Not too encouraging isn't it🙃 but welp. I'm already preparing myself for the worst saggy stretchy pouch possible and plan to try and work on my stomach and body after giving birth. Making it a light hearted challenge so I don't sink into depreciating myself even more than I already do lol
With my first the stretch marks didn’t appear until after I delivered. I’m almost 10 months pp with baby number 3 and they’re not very noticeable anymore. Time will fade them, but change is still hard. It helped me when I realized my husband has stretch marks too, they’re just a part of getting older I suppose.
32 weeks and those fuckers are starting to make their guest appearance. With my first they came much later. The ones on my stomach disappeared but the ones on my inner thigh faded and are still identifiable. Like you, I was pretty devastated (mostly with the inner thigh), and like the women in your life, this time around I just thought, “ehhh, we’ll ride the wave and see what happens”. You got this, pregnancy is crazy.
35 weeks and just started getting them too! So I looked up if vitamin e worked, or whatever else and the association of dermatology says that really nothing you can do will prevent them. They are actually scars! Hydrating skin with lotion every day can help with itching but will not prevent them from happening. That knowledge helped me to not blame myself for not doing the right thing to prevent them. I’m not happy that they are there at all but it’s not my fault
I’m almost 2 years post partum, and I did used to feel very sad about my body and how different it looks after having my daughter but you do adjust. As you meet your baby and get to know them you realise it really isn’t a big deal and you have something absolutely amazing from the changes to your body. It’s okay to mourn your old self, you’re in limbo at the minute because you’re not your old sense but you haven’t grown into your new self either just yet. Your baby is about to be born but so is a completely new version of you. It’s a crazy time. Wishing you all the best mama.
I got stretch marks from weight gain and growing during puberty! And not just little ones - like full on deep ones on my stomach mainly.
I’m actually curious if they can get any worse if they’re already there 🤔
I was so big I ended up with marks from way above ly navel, to the top of my legs and all the way around to the side of my ass. They burned like my skin would split when touched. So I feel this.
But you know what helped me? My son loves them. When my shirt rides up he smiles at them and pets them. When we shower or bathe together he puts his head on them and snuggles close. I call them my tiger stripes now. And they do fade some, mine aren't too noticable at almost 15 months PP.
I was spared until I went into overtime.
I think 3 days past my due date they showed up.
It's still mild. I'm 6 month postpartum and they are very faint already.
I too was sad when they showed up, it was hormones and couldn't wait to be done with pregnancy, but no signs of progress. The last 2 weeks were a very emotional time. I was also really worried I wouldn't feel good in my body afterwards.
But honestly I haven't felt this confident and comfortable in my body in years. It's not perfect, but I care way less about it all. I never thought that would be me because I struggled with it since my teens.
It will be alright. It's fine to be sad. That's a human emotion and you're not just "mom", you're still an individual being with your own hopes and dreams and ambition apart from your baby.
Us women are just too hard on ourselves.
You are literally growing a human being inside your body! There will be changes, which we all expect (some more than others), but they are signs of an amazing feat that you have accomplished!
I moisturize, but I know I'll be off the hook unlike some. Both myself and sisters have never gotten stretch marks during our pregnancies. That doesn't mean I will be surprised if they pop up. If they do, I'll look at them and be mindful of why they appeared.
Pregnancy is hard. Enormous hormonal changes and physical changes happening in a somewhat small window of time. Give yourself grace and thank your body for everything it has and will go through! You are the source of life right now! You look amazing and you're doing an amazing job! Be kind to yourself ❤
I'm 28 weeks and I hate the way i look. I feel like it would be better if I could find clothes that fit, but my budget is small and I'm hard to fit under the best of circumstances. I have melasma on my upper lip that is impossible to cover so I look like I have a mustache. I'm having a terrible time finding bras that fit. Every time I buy maternity pants they're either way too big and fall down or too small and right up my butt because I'm tall. Normally I wear men's pants because they're longer in the crotch and they fit better and have good pockets but that's clearly not an option right now. Half of my shirts don't cover my belly anymore especially with the stupid pants that fall down. I bought maternity underwear and they fit perfectly until I washed them and then they shrunk. Why are so many affordable maternity clothes only coming in gray and black? I look awful in gray and black and I'm not buying that.
And what's almost worse is that every time I say I feel fat to my boyfriend he tells me I'm not fat I'm pregnant. Except I don't really look pregnant I just look fat. Nobody realizes I'm pregnant.
I had the same experience as you I made it most of the way through my pregnancy without getting any stretch marks and also thought I'd get away without having any. I cried the first time I saw them. My husband gave me the same response you received. "It's expected."My body was going through so many changes. And even though I had felt my baby move and hiccup inside me this felt different. Like a piece of ME was changed. It is okay to allow yourself to grieve. It is not just a huge change in your life your entire body composition is changing. You are now experiencing life through a new body.
you are totally valid!! I am going through this right now, im 35 weeks and so far havent had too many stretch marks appear, but I also know that they can pop up later in the game and even after. I am feeling a bit of the ab seperation which is freaking me out because I know that usually indicates a mom pouch. I am also so excited to have and meet my baby girl, but trying to handle those feelings of loss/change of your previous body is ROUGH. im also just so swollen and in pain :(
I completely understand this. Since week 4 I’ve felt uncomfortable in my own body… I haven’t enjoyed the initial bloating, then the weight gain, my boobs doubling, and my few stretch marks. I am so excited to meet my baby and be a mom… but the body changes have been very mentally challenging for me. I think it is completely fine to feel this way. I think some love it and feel empowered and then there’s me who misses my pre-pregnancy body… I wish I could have both! But I am very happy to have experienced this journey of pregnancy
I am right there with you, 37 weeks and even though it's my stomach that has grown and the rest of my body has stayed basically the same, I have stretch marks all over my thighs and butt
I feel cheated somehow, like it doesn't even make sense that that is where they show up
im 38 weeks tomorrow and have been trying to avoid looking in the mirror too long or let myself think too much about my stretch mark covered belly. I knew from the jump every woman in my family has gotten them with pregnancy so I tried everything i could to avoid them, flaxseed oil supplements, tons of water, hyaluronic acid + lotion + bio oil at least twice a day. I had hopes but ultimately my genes won, maybe they’ll fade with time, maybe not. Will i be insecure about it? Absolutely, but luckily i am with a man that loves me more for who i am than for my physical appearance and has made me feel nothing but love and comfort my whole pregnancy. I will have to accept the fact that this is my new reality but not before i have a meltdown and cry my eyes out about it. I’m allowed to mourn my old body and i will.
Same girl! I feel guilty about feeling disgusted by my own body because I love my baby and this is part of it…. No more crop tops or bikinis for me, I guess…
My stomach looks like i was attacked by a bear theres straight up claw marks from the height of my belly button to my hips My weight feels like its fixable but my marks i dont think will ever heal My husband tells me they are beautiful and he will always be grateful for the proof of me carrying our child
Your husband sounds wonderful! ❤️
Mine called them ribbons on a package 🥲
Oh that's sooo cute
Awe thats precious
They will never go away but they will fade A LOT. It just takes some time. I have tons of them from when I was a teenager. They’re still there but tbh I don’t even notice them anymore, they’re very faded. I mean, you can see them but they’re really close to the shade of the rest of my skin. Your husband sounds great. Just wanted to let you know because at the time I got my stretch marks I was devastated, and a few years later it was not as big of a deal as I thought.
It’s not wrong to feel sad. Two things can be true at once. You can both feel sad for what’s been lost and happy to get a precious baby to raise. After my first was born, I eventually got around to feeling better about my body and what it had done but still had the “but before baby x was better/not scarred/flat/firm/whatever.” And that doesn’t change how grateful I am for what my body has done growing my children.
I love this sentiment! ❤️ I did plenty of bawling about my changing body while pregnant. When I got boob stretch marks in like the second trimester. When I grew out of various clothes. Spent literal days being sad when I weighed in at more than I thought I should at multiple different ob appointments. Postpartum I decided to tell nurses I do not want to know my weight. I have a beautiful 8 mo baby and will allow nurses or docs to tell me how much I weigh when I'm all done breastfeeding.
It’s really nothing you did wrong, stretch marks are entirely genetic! No cream is going to spare you them if it’s something that runs in your family. Like you, I didn’t have them until really late but from 38-40 weeks I got a ton and now my belly is all speckled in stretch marks… they’ve grown on me though, and they do fade over time! I hope you feel better soon. Your body is doing amazing work.
I didn’t even know I had so many until after I delivered the baby. My mom got quite a few while pregnant with my sister & I. I’ve always gotten stretch marks as my weight has fluctuated so I shouldn’t have been too surprised to see how many I ended up with.
I feel you! My aunt told me the other day she can’t believe how big I am and am I sureeee there isn’t two? I’m 33 weeks and have felt really good about my body until hearing these types of comments. It’s bikini season and I feel like ill traumatized people if I go to the beach.
Ugh I actually just saw stretch marks today too and I had a breakdown. I really thought I’d gotten to the end of pregnancy without them. Between that and my swollen feet, I felt so bad about myself today. I’m sorry you’re feeling the same way friend
Me too! I didn't know how bad mine were until I delivered the baby. When I finally showed my husband I cried! I've been told they will fade and keep telling myself they are battle scars. All in all, wouldn't trade them for my baby girl.
I'm not that far along yet, but I totally understand the feeling. I have had horrible acne ever since I found out I'm pregnant, and all of my family including my mom suggest that I must not be eating healthy food or not drinking enough water, when it's all hormonal and I can't do anything about it. It is hard enough to deal with all the body changes, but it's harder when people tell you it's to be expected or that you must be doing something wrong.
So still earlier on for me, so unsure what pregnancy will bring for me in the marks department. However, I did get stretch marks due to some extreme weight loss as a teenager on my thighs. I’m talking bright pink marks so obvious someone once asked if they were self harm. Over time, they faded significantly. I can feel the texture, but genuinely can’t see them in photos, or even at close distance. So, even they look gnarly now, they will lighten up and be wayyyyy less obvious! Sorry you’re dealing with this. Your feelings are super valid - the changes are rough.
And this is why millennials are gentle parenting 🤦♀️ Is it part of pregnancy? Yes. Are you allowed to have big feelings about it anyway? Also yes. I bet you anything your mom felt the same at the time and just forgot about it now. It's totally ok to mourn your previous self. It doesn't make you a bad mom or ungrateful for your changing body. Also, it's totally possible to mourn your previous self while embracing your new self. If it helps, I was low-key devastated when I noticed stretch marks AND I now love them because they're a reminder of this truly incredible process. Edit: typo
To quote Dr Becky- you’re a good mom having a hard time.
Everything about your life and body are changing, I’m sorry that they’re being so invalidating. Stretch marks may be normal and expected but you’re not wrong to feel a way about them. In all likelihood, they’ll fade fast especially if it took them so long to show up. With HG I have lost all my muscle and I could cry every day about all my cellulite. Everyone pretends they don’t see it, but my butt specifically has dissolved to nothing. Solidarity mama, you’ll overcome this poor body image moment and feel good again.
I didn’t get any stretch marks until about 34 weeks and I swear they get worse everyday. It’s so disappointing to see and I’m so, so sad about it. I know it’s all part of bringing my baby into the world but that doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed that I’ll always have to think about my stretch marks moving forward. I also lost about 35 pounds a few years ago and I’m 35 pounds up now at 37 weeks. So I’m so disappointed that I’m going to have to go on another weight loss journey while postpartum. I’m very happy and thankful for my baby, but I don’t think that means I can’t be sad that my body has to change as a part of the process.
I feel this. when I was 18 weeks I noticed stretch marks at the bottom of my stomach and asked my child’s father does he think they will go away and he said no. I started crying like a baby lol. ive always struggled with body image issues so seeing that just had me a emotional mess. now im 32w pregnant and they stretch from the bottom of my stomach almost pat my belly button. every time I look at them I try to tell myself plenty of women of women have them and its what makes my bump unique. sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t cause I wonder if they will still be as prominent after birth
Body dysmorphia suuuuuucks, and it’s not always something that goes away even when you want it to…at least in my experience. I used to feel really bad about how bad I felt about myself (still do sometimes) and then I realised that my body dysmorphia is really similar to OCD intrusive thoughts (they flare up when I am anxious/tired/depressed and/or in a shame spiral etc) and it works better if I treat them that way. You can’t stop intrusive thoughts, it’s not your fault you have them, you can only try not to feed them or feel bad they are there. It is super stressful and unpleasant to have intrusive thoughts of any kind, so give yourself grace. I find the trick of repeating them back in silly voices (like Mickey Mouse) helps to remind myself they are just thoughts and something annoying my brain does in response to stress. They are not good or bad, they just are. If I could delete them from my brain though I 100% would 😅 There is nothing wrong with having stretch marks, there are a lot of women struggling to conceive who would give anything to have them if it meant also being able to have a baby - but that doesn’t mean you have to love them, but neutrality is a great goal. Light therapy and micro needling apparently help and it’s also okay to book in treatments for them if that gives you some sense of agency and comfort
I did some serious lasering on old stretch makes from fast weight gain on my back legs and thighs. I didn’t really help. Maybe stomach skin is different? Maybe it’s more effective if you laser right away when they are purple/red. I will saw my stretch marks dont bother me like they used to bc I lost weight and have a healthy mind set. Being pregnant now tho I am nervous about getting more bc I already have so many on my legs
same thing happened to me- and my inner thighs look so like crinkly
Yes it’s on my inner thighs too and up by my crotch 😕
I feel for you. In the past couple of weeks I started getting stretch marks on my breasts and it is so bad that the lower half of each one is almost completely purple 😭 I don't like seeing it in the mirror but I try to remind myself they will fade and be worth it when I get to hold my son. I guiltily keep praying I don't get any on my stomach since I have them so bad on my chest.
I felt exactly the same!! But two years postpartum and my stretch marks had nearly faded completely and my stomach more or less returned to the way it was pre pregnancy.
I found stretch marks on my boob yesterday at only 19 weeks pregnant. Just one boob, and they haven't even grown that much yet! Could they at least be even?? 🥲 All that to say, you are not alone. It's OK to be sad about body changes AND excited for your baby. Both (all) emotions can exist at the same time!
That sucks. I thought I’d avoided stretch marks too, but they showed up after I gave birth. If it’s any consolation, now that I’m a year post partum, they’re only noticeable if you’re really looking for them. Your body will be changed by birth, but the lasting changes probably won’t be as big as they seem right now at the end of your pregnancy. Healing takes time though. When I was 6 months pp I was very worried that I still had SPD. But apparently relaxin can take months to leave the system. Thanks to PT and time, those symptoms have finally gone away at around the time it’s taken for my linea nigra to disappear. There have definitely been times when I’ve felt sad about chances to my body. But in hindsight, I wish I’d spent less time worrying that my body at a few months post partum was the new normal.
It took me a year post partum to feel better about my body and the changes. It gets better and you’ll get there - I promise. Your body will chnage - but what you see immediately post partum isn’t what you will look like later on. It’s all a season and you’ll come out the other end - I promise ❤️
Give it a few years! I got my tummy stretch marks from plain old getting fat and it hit me like a wrecking ball. Thought I'd never feel beautiful again. They were like, dark purple and made me want to die because I didn't even have a kid. Now about 3 years later you can barely notice them by comparison. They started to noticeably fade around a year. It sucks for sure when you first get them though, I'm sorry :(
As someone who has had stretch marks from the back of my knees to my lower back since my major tween growth spurt, I knew I was also going to get them in pregnancy. I did get them under my belly during pregnancy and then, weirdly, it's like during/immediately after birth I got a bunch in weird spots like where my thighs join my pelvis. As in, I wemt home from the hospital and looked in my full length mirror and there was a bunch more! Not saying it to scare you, more to tell you the body is capable of all sorts of stuff and there might be more. Of course it's okay to be sad and even weirded by physical changes to your body, especially of they're permanent. Just like everything else that will shift in your life through pregnancy and into parenthood, it is OKAY to mourn the changes. However, I can tell you from the other side that it's honestly no big deal. Stretch marks and cellulite are very targeted by the beauty industry and hyped into something when they're not really anything and super normal. They will also fade in time, a lot, and become more just textural differences against your skin than anything else. People will not care or judge you, they likely won't even notice. Those that do, you don't need them in your life unless they're celebrating your body. I know the "nobody cares" argument is poor because YOU care and that's what matters, but hopefully you can learn to be gentle to yourself. I found in that first year I had little to no time to really think about and focus on nitpicking about my body. It helped me release a lot of hangups, including my low key fear of leaving the house without any makeup on. I was that kind of person. I was able to focus on something, someone else and thinking of how I wanted them (my child) to see their body and other people's bodies and how I celebrated their body in all its rolls and lumps and bumps. It changed how I lived within my own body, if only to model to my child. I learned to be stronger because of her, it healed me. I hope for you that on the other side of your mourning the changes, you find an acceptance for and freedom from certain physical hangups on your body. You don't have to LOVE all the features, just peacefully coexist. Your body will shift and change shapes, maybe with another pregnancy or multiple, you'll lose, you'll gain, your alignment within your whole skeleton and skin will change, and I hope you can be okay in the end.
Unfortunately you can't really stop them from coming. Some women moisturize nonstop and get them. Some have the driest skin ever and not a single mark. And all variations in between. The last few weeks is where I get hit with them. I'm on baby #3 and no new ones yet (25 week) but I'm sure they're coming 33+ weeks. I will say, they usually fade. Mine did. Unless I'm in the right lighting, you can't even see them much. You aren't wrong for being sad. It sucks to experience all these changes. I struggle with body image issues pretty badly and I feel so happy to have this growing belly but find myself sad seeing others in 'good' shape.
I wanted to be OK with stretch marks, but I also got really upset when I saw mine for the first time. They appeared so suddenly, I was shocked and I have to admit that I cried about them. A lot. Change is hard! Body image is tough! You’re definitely not alone.
My stretch marks didn't appear until the last three weeks of pregnancy. To make it so far and think you lucked out, only for them to show up right at the end is pretty crushing. I think if they appeared earlier it wouldn't have been nearly as disappointing.
I didn’t have a single stretch mark with my first and I thought I was in the clear because it usually genetic! I got some minor stretch marks with my second around 30 weeks and it really fucked with me for awhile. I’m kind of over it because they are so low and I’m sure they’ll fade but I can’t help but being a bit disappointed with my body this time around. If it makes you feel better it’s mostly genetic. There’s not much you can do :/ doesn’t help me personally but it’s not due to lotion or no lotion.
It's not wrong to be sad. I thought I was lucky since I didn't see any until I accidentally saw the underside of the bump and it crushed me a little when I found out lol I was like oh man.... but I wasnt diligently applying coconut oil or anything cause I have read that it is mostly our body internally. Like external factors like oil wouldn't help much it just be like that kind. Not too encouraging isn't it🙃 but welp. I'm already preparing myself for the worst saggy stretchy pouch possible and plan to try and work on my stomach and body after giving birth. Making it a light hearted challenge so I don't sink into depreciating myself even more than I already do lol
With my first the stretch marks didn’t appear until after I delivered. I’m almost 10 months pp with baby number 3 and they’re not very noticeable anymore. Time will fade them, but change is still hard. It helped me when I realized my husband has stretch marks too, they’re just a part of getting older I suppose.
32 weeks and those fuckers are starting to make their guest appearance. With my first they came much later. The ones on my stomach disappeared but the ones on my inner thigh faded and are still identifiable. Like you, I was pretty devastated (mostly with the inner thigh), and like the women in your life, this time around I just thought, “ehhh, we’ll ride the wave and see what happens”. You got this, pregnancy is crazy.
35 weeks and just started getting them too! So I looked up if vitamin e worked, or whatever else and the association of dermatology says that really nothing you can do will prevent them. They are actually scars! Hydrating skin with lotion every day can help with itching but will not prevent them from happening. That knowledge helped me to not blame myself for not doing the right thing to prevent them. I’m not happy that they are there at all but it’s not my fault
I’m almost 2 years post partum, and I did used to feel very sad about my body and how different it looks after having my daughter but you do adjust. As you meet your baby and get to know them you realise it really isn’t a big deal and you have something absolutely amazing from the changes to your body. It’s okay to mourn your old self, you’re in limbo at the minute because you’re not your old sense but you haven’t grown into your new self either just yet. Your baby is about to be born but so is a completely new version of you. It’s a crazy time. Wishing you all the best mama.
I got stretch marks from weight gain and growing during puberty! And not just little ones - like full on deep ones on my stomach mainly. I’m actually curious if they can get any worse if they’re already there 🤔
I was so big I ended up with marks from way above ly navel, to the top of my legs and all the way around to the side of my ass. They burned like my skin would split when touched. So I feel this. But you know what helped me? My son loves them. When my shirt rides up he smiles at them and pets them. When we shower or bathe together he puts his head on them and snuggles close. I call them my tiger stripes now. And they do fade some, mine aren't too noticable at almost 15 months PP.
I was spared until I went into overtime. I think 3 days past my due date they showed up. It's still mild. I'm 6 month postpartum and they are very faint already. I too was sad when they showed up, it was hormones and couldn't wait to be done with pregnancy, but no signs of progress. The last 2 weeks were a very emotional time. I was also really worried I wouldn't feel good in my body afterwards. But honestly I haven't felt this confident and comfortable in my body in years. It's not perfect, but I care way less about it all. I never thought that would be me because I struggled with it since my teens. It will be alright. It's fine to be sad. That's a human emotion and you're not just "mom", you're still an individual being with your own hopes and dreams and ambition apart from your baby.
Us women are just too hard on ourselves. You are literally growing a human being inside your body! There will be changes, which we all expect (some more than others), but they are signs of an amazing feat that you have accomplished! I moisturize, but I know I'll be off the hook unlike some. Both myself and sisters have never gotten stretch marks during our pregnancies. That doesn't mean I will be surprised if they pop up. If they do, I'll look at them and be mindful of why they appeared. Pregnancy is hard. Enormous hormonal changes and physical changes happening in a somewhat small window of time. Give yourself grace and thank your body for everything it has and will go through! You are the source of life right now! You look amazing and you're doing an amazing job! Be kind to yourself ❤
I'm 28 weeks and I hate the way i look. I feel like it would be better if I could find clothes that fit, but my budget is small and I'm hard to fit under the best of circumstances. I have melasma on my upper lip that is impossible to cover so I look like I have a mustache. I'm having a terrible time finding bras that fit. Every time I buy maternity pants they're either way too big and fall down or too small and right up my butt because I'm tall. Normally I wear men's pants because they're longer in the crotch and they fit better and have good pockets but that's clearly not an option right now. Half of my shirts don't cover my belly anymore especially with the stupid pants that fall down. I bought maternity underwear and they fit perfectly until I washed them and then they shrunk. Why are so many affordable maternity clothes only coming in gray and black? I look awful in gray and black and I'm not buying that. And what's almost worse is that every time I say I feel fat to my boyfriend he tells me I'm not fat I'm pregnant. Except I don't really look pregnant I just look fat. Nobody realizes I'm pregnant.
I had the same experience as you I made it most of the way through my pregnancy without getting any stretch marks and also thought I'd get away without having any. I cried the first time I saw them. My husband gave me the same response you received. "It's expected."My body was going through so many changes. And even though I had felt my baby move and hiccup inside me this felt different. Like a piece of ME was changed. It is okay to allow yourself to grieve. It is not just a huge change in your life your entire body composition is changing. You are now experiencing life through a new body.
you are totally valid!! I am going through this right now, im 35 weeks and so far havent had too many stretch marks appear, but I also know that they can pop up later in the game and even after. I am feeling a bit of the ab seperation which is freaking me out because I know that usually indicates a mom pouch. I am also so excited to have and meet my baby girl, but trying to handle those feelings of loss/change of your previous body is ROUGH. im also just so swollen and in pain :(
I completely understand this. Since week 4 I’ve felt uncomfortable in my own body… I haven’t enjoyed the initial bloating, then the weight gain, my boobs doubling, and my few stretch marks. I am so excited to meet my baby and be a mom… but the body changes have been very mentally challenging for me. I think it is completely fine to feel this way. I think some love it and feel empowered and then there’s me who misses my pre-pregnancy body… I wish I could have both! But I am very happy to have experienced this journey of pregnancy
I am right there with you, 37 weeks and even though it's my stomach that has grown and the rest of my body has stayed basically the same, I have stretch marks all over my thighs and butt I feel cheated somehow, like it doesn't even make sense that that is where they show up
Try getting pregnant for 7 years and failing. When I finally got pregnant with twins thru IVF I welcomed stretch marks with open arms.
im 38 weeks tomorrow and have been trying to avoid looking in the mirror too long or let myself think too much about my stretch mark covered belly. I knew from the jump every woman in my family has gotten them with pregnancy so I tried everything i could to avoid them, flaxseed oil supplements, tons of water, hyaluronic acid + lotion + bio oil at least twice a day. I had hopes but ultimately my genes won, maybe they’ll fade with time, maybe not. Will i be insecure about it? Absolutely, but luckily i am with a man that loves me more for who i am than for my physical appearance and has made me feel nothing but love and comfort my whole pregnancy. I will have to accept the fact that this is my new reality but not before i have a meltdown and cry my eyes out about it. I’m allowed to mourn my old body and i will.
Same girl! I feel guilty about feeling disgusted by my own body because I love my baby and this is part of it…. No more crop tops or bikinis for me, I guess…