I’m in Alberta and I was 100% convinced this was local to me until I read the bit about fall/winter being rainy instead of downright miserable cold.
But I guess that’s probably part of why they call us the Texas of the North.
As a 'bama boy, who grew up poor and spent lots of time in trailer parks. I'm going with him being kin.
Nothing he's described here is at all suspect, I've seen similar and even worse growing up.
To put it into perspective, I wasn't completely sure Trailer Park Boys wasn't an actual documentary when I first stumbled on it, until they started shooting at each other then I was 100% sure it was not a documentary, love us or hate us, we're much better shots than that!
Turtles in your pond can wreak havoc on your fish. I'd say they're aquatic rats, but that is muskrats, who I'll also shoot, but never had a pond with muskrats in it, thankfully.
You ever find yourself in north 'bama or middle tennessee, you let me know and I'll smoke a butt and you can come get some of the best bbq you've ever had.
Or I can make sushi, I'm quite eclectic :)
The person he bought the house from was moving to Florida, so he’s almost certainly not already in Florida. Not from the south myself, but I assumed Alabama immediately lol.
Haha! I just posted this. I have lived all over the south because of the military and private sector. There is something different really sad and dire about the florida panhandle whether it’s Alabama or Georgia. The rural part makes it bad but people there know that the world has left them behind. It’s learned helplessness. Poverty, lack of education and resources just makes them feel stuck. When I say resources I know it’s complicated. Before, there used to be a lot of factories and our grandparents/parents could live there and have a good life. It hasn’t been that way for a long time though. We have lost so many people from overdoses and other self destructive behavior. This dude was/is a ticking time bomb.
I think it depends on which panhandle town, honestly. I've lived here my entire life and while I wouldn't say my town's without issues I don't think I'd say it's dire down here. We have the problems of any small town in the US, no more, no less?
Could you please explain to this idiot European woman what a 'Bama Boy is, please? Florida Man made it out internationally, but the other one is a mistery to me.
The beautiful thing about America is we have a whole rainbow of jackass rednecks! No matter if they’re in Alabama, Texas, Alaska, or even New York, it’s all the same trash just in a different place. 🤣
not Florida, when he gets the house he says the previous owner was planing to move to Florida. Pretty sure he says down to Florida to so this could be Georgia or something as well.
Can't be Florida, he mentioned a friend's grandpa moving away *to* Florida as how he got his house.
People are guessing Alabama or Mississippi, but it could be South Carolina.
I’m trying to wrap my head around Sara dating and having a kid with this POS. Whoever figures out what she *saw* in him should get a Nobel prize or something
They dated in high school. The bar was low and she didn't know any better.
My ideas of love were fueled by good book boyfriends, and I didn't really start dating until I was an adult. My friends who carried into their 20s with high school or middle school sweethearts put up with a lot because they were used to it and thought it was normal.
Jeez book boyfriends can really screw you up at that age. You think MC bad boys are the best and not super problematic. The more drama the better the book. Give me fist fights over girls swooning at 15. Ugh young me had bad taste. My favorites are the dudes who communicate now. lol I’m old
Not *those* book boyfriends! lol I mean the good kind, who support the FL in her dreams and don't do bad things because they're "tormented" or "don't know how to love."
When I was young I suppose “bad boy” was just another way of saying “exciting”. Now I’m in my 30s and understand that “exciting” really just means “drama” and I am too old for that lol
Everyone around him matured. I bet he was the same then as he is now.
When my teenage nephew runs into his little sister's room to fart he's not being exactly high brow with his comedy, but he's a teenager in high school.
If he was a grown man shoving his butt against a truck to fart on it? Same behavior. One is 'worse' behavior because they forgot to grow up.
I bet he was just as much a douche doing the exact same stuff. But they were all 13-18, so they saw it as normal immaturity. I expect my nephew to not revenge fart in his sister's space, eventually. This guy never stopped being a 16 year old boy who farts on other people's stuff.
these comments kind of bother me because abusers frequently hide their true nature for long amounts of time. she obviously didn't date THIS guy, she dated a version of him who was either doing much better or hiding his true nature by lying to her. either way it's not her fault, she clearly fears him and is right to. poor girl
I do not think he _was_ that guy in high school. He was probably dumb, and saying some stupid shit, but living at home, not having money, and going to school every day (and not legal to drink) will curtail his exploits. And then he grew up and experimented with drinking, pot, and lifestyle, and kept making bad choices while OP, with the same upbringing (and probably not too dissimilar in High School) grew up and made healthier ones.
I'm not sure the ages of everybody involved, but he mentions his older brother dating her in highschool, so they were probably teens/early 20s when dating.
Considering also this is all smalltown bullshit, the brother might have been the least shitty turd in the bowl at the time.
The brother's behavior shows a pattern of continually getting worse, which means in the past he was better.
He's probably the kind of guy to make a huge deal over wearing condoms too.
So yeah I kinda get it, people make mistakes when they're young and dumb. At least she's living with her parents with custody of the kid, so there's hopefully some stability.
*edit*
He's currently early 30s and brother is 2 years older, so the brother and Sara were probably 19 at the oldest when dating. That's definitely a stupid-mistake age.
Ten years since then also means the kid is old enough to remember seeing the dad beat up the mom, so that's not great.
Yeah, so I'm thinking he wasn't the least shitty turd in the bowl. But, they were all younger. You know who revenge farts right now? My teenage nephew. He'll get in a petty argument with his little sister and run in her room, fart, run out, shut the door, and yell that he locked her bearded dragon in with his fart and now her pet smells like farts.
It's almost a little funny because seriously, he told her that he locked her beardie in with his farts and her beardie smells like farts. Why?
It's ridiculous teenage antics because farts are clearly peak comedy.
This guy was revenge farting on a truck. His 16 year old self revenge farting on a truck was nearly funny, and potentially funny if you were also 16 back then. My brother once threatened that one day he'd put his naked butt on my guitar and then he'd ask me how my sitar played after I touched my naked butt guitar. We were probably 14 (me) and 16 (butt brother) at the time. Teenagers are the types who do that thing. They will also sometimes find it hilarious. Because butts are also clearly peak comedy.
She thought his farting on trucks was fucking hysterical when she was 16. Then she wasn't, and he was still farting on trucks. She was no longer mentally 16. He was still doing the same shit. Everyone around him quit threatening to turn their sister's guitar into a sitar via butt rubbing. He did not.
He's the guy in What's My Age Again? He failed to realize you don't act like you're a frat boy your entire life because other people got tired of watching you clown and he still expects praise for rubbing his butt on a door like he got when he was 16. He didn't get as many laughs, this time. Maybe he'll try rubbing his dick on the handle, next time. Instead of realizing everyone moved on from his peak comedy, he pushed the envelope, much like a child.
Then his life was crumbling and he just snapped and lost his shit. Why didn't Sara take him back? He would've rubbed his dick on so many things, all to make her laugh.
these comments kind of bother me because abusers frequently hide their true nature for long amounts of time. she obviously didn't date THIS guy, she dated a version of him who was either doing much better or hiding his true nature by lying to her. either way it's not her fault, she clearly fears him and is right to. poor girl
This read like diary entries (if they kept them) of my paternal side of the family as I was growing up. Nothing in this story is even shocking to me, I've seen similar shit.
My family does this stuff currently. Cousin’s truck has caught on fire when he was doing donuts in the front yard. I don’t know mechanics so don’t know how your engine catches fire when you are muddin’. I just assumed that he passed out drunk in the driver’s seat, and dropped his cigarette onto the mcdonald’s food wrappers on the floor of his truck. This was his third truck to burn up this way. I feel for the neighbors who bought houses in the newly built subdivision in our old tobacco fields. Cousin always planted soybeans in what is now the buffer between the old home place and the new subdivision. So he could take pot shots from the back porch at the deer lured to the soybeans. Now those shots are backstopped by someone’s suburban mansion. Don’t you just admire how life is such an unknowable mystery for cousins? No rhyme or reason, just sound and fury and impulses, lots of indulged impulses.
I can't comment, because there's a 12 gauge shotgun with a laser dot on the ammo cylinder hidden by my back door so I can shoot raccoons in the dark. Now, as for the deer, there's a small creek that runs between my backyard and my pasture that the deer like to follow. I've gotta sight in my .308 so next winter I can get me a few.
We just moved so I've got a lot of projects, one is getting ready to put some venison in the freezer next winter.
He has such a unique writing style. I felt it was a little contrived until I saw his edits and notes that are in the same voice. I think this is just how he writes, and it’s entertaining as hell.
I'm torn on whether he's exactly what he claims to be (and these are all real stories) who just happens to be a great writer, or if he's a writer developing a character/family for a book/tv show. But honestly, I really don't care, I just enjoy reading his entries. His writing is wonderful, with a unique voice and real perspective. He reminds me T.R. Pearson.
> OOP's brother needs to be locked away somewhere he can't do any harm.
I'm rooting for the OOP's brother to follow through on the threats change his name and move far away. Then I want him to stop drinking and because a metal artist doing awesome "outsider art" and give TED talks about it.
Lol at least he's more funny than Tolkien and his descriptions are a whole lot better too 😂 I love Tolkien and his universe to death, but I simply can't read his books with my ADHD brain 😅
I remember reading this one a while ago and feeling a weird sort of admiration for the brother. It's a pretty impressive bit of redneck ingenuity to look at a minivan and think "I can make this into a truck" and then have both the self-confidence and skills to actually kind of do it.
I'm probably just jealous that I'm not that handy, and I remember thinking Junkyard Wars was supremely cool as a kid. Obviously I'd want nothing to do with this guy in real life.
In high school I knew a guy who drove a Chevy Cavalier with a shortened truck bed welded on; his actually had a decent paint job. This kind of thing isn't unheard of in redneck small towns, and it's amazing what you can pull off with welding gear and junkyard parts.
I've known several rednecks with several car/truck conversions. A 1974 Chrysler New Yorker my best friend did was my favorite, when he was done you could load 4x8 plywood in it flat. I helped rattlecan it when he was done :D And we camped in it a few times on his mom's property with a generator and lots of beer.
I live in Colorado which is Subaru Central, one of my neighbors has an Ascent. Every once in a while on the Interstate I'll see a Baja. Plus the occasional so-ancient Subaru you're scratching your head on how that thing is still running.
>This sorta thing can only happen in a town like ours.
I had to laugh at this part because every time there's an update from this guy, I think "this is such classic Small Town USA".
Jesus, did the posts ever indicate the ages of these people? If they didn't have kids and parents using canes, I'd hav e guessed they were early-20 year olds.
>I knew we were roughly even in a fight. So I ambushed and hit him in the back with a rubber mallet, and then beat the shit out of him.
Yep, proper sibling warfare.
This saga is amazing, I hope Netflix or Amazon picks this up and turn into a 4-6 episodes mini series.
I'm usually very skeptical of reddit stories, even more of large sagas, but It's so much dumb shit that I don't think someone could have easily come up with it. And OOP is such a great storyteller. Terrible taste in booze, though, the honey stuff is just nasty.
The only part that sticks out as major bs is people selling houses for a heavy discount to non relatives. Everything else sounds plausible with a lot of meth.
No, honey whiskey isn't at all the same as mead. I like mead in theory but it gives me the same kind of headache I get from red wine.
There's a distillery in Virginia (copper kettle) that makes an apple whiskey that tastes exactly like apple juice, it's incredible! It's the only flavored whiskey I like tbh.
If you ever feel like trying out more flavored whiskeys, I recommend Standard Proof out of TN. They make really good infused ryes: mint, coffee, pineapple, honeysuckle, etc...and they're not sweetened like a lot of flavored whiskeys are. I don't even like coffee, but their Arabica-infused rye is gorgeous. My husband loves using the mint one in a (bastardized) julep.
That sounds great! My family love all those crazy crown royal flavors and I think they are all disgusting and so i stopped wasting my money trying them. I also love rye-- less sweet than bourbon.
It's also pretty realistic for those areas. The idiot brother getting a quote frankly underwhelming sentencing for the crimes he commited sounds about right for those areas.
I just knew the OOP was in the southeast. The mini-ram says it all, plus rattle can painting vehicles. If I had to guess, sounds like they are in one of the Carolinas, probably north, as we have a lot of craft beers here.
I'm currently looking to buy a used Subaru. Would I buy a Ford F150 if I won the lottery? Sure. Do I actually need one? Nope. Though I would want to live a life where I did!
>But I knew he wouldn't be able to drink it for months anyway.
This is the first thing my mind went to when I read that OOP gave the bottle of honey whisky to Shithead. Like, damn! Shithead won't throw it out because free booze, but he's going to have to look at it every day and burn his brain with the fact that it represents that HE. LOST!
This was OOP'S giant middle finger back to Shithead - and it's a middle finger that Shithead will willingly store on his shelf because of his slovenly greed of free booze.
OOP gave him his rope, and Shithead hangs himself with it every day! Talk about long-game petty!
His brother is like mine. I'm no contact with him, too. Maybe I should write out the saga of my stupid, entitled brother once I work through some of the trauma he left with me. Oof.
My favorite part is him giving his brother that bottle of honey whiskey. That was legendary. Talk about shutting a narc’s mouth in less than half a second. That’s called setting a record.
This brother is seriously unhinged and deserves to be behind bars. He attacked his own brother, his ex in front of his daughter, and his own father. Nope.
All I could think about while reading this was that guy from Missouri who got shot in broad daylight and nobody came forward as a witness because he was such a public menace.
Well, it was an entertaining read and I want to say that it’s a shame it’s come to an end but but not really because it’s for the best, the last thing OOP, his folks, Sara and everyone else needs is the brother escalating his psychotic behavior.
Let's hope for some nice calmer updates about weird shit he builds for his house, maybe have some great BBQ with niece, beanstalk, and the rest of the family and how they can have an old car to spruce up as a family project 👍
Hope he gets his dad a better cane too, hollow aluminium doesn't sound like it does the man justice!
For once, I can relate to a story. I grew up very poor in rural Alabama, and nothing in this tale is hard to believe, I've seen plenty similar shit go down in trailer parks and the small town where I grew up.
>But he's just a terrible person. And the only one who's still missing him, is our mother. She's still kinda broken up about it. But dad has been unwavering that they did the right thing by disowning him.
Disowning your son can be the right thing, AND you can be broken up about it. In fact, I would expect any mentally healthy parent to be devastated that things have come to such an ended. I wish OOP hadn't expressed it as if his mother is wrong to feel bad about being estranged from her son.
I believe it because I lived in a small ass town during my high school years and the shit that goes on in those small towns could rival most soap operas.
Well OP has the gift if the gab. He should write some stories - a good cathartic exercise. He’s got a lot of material and could be good side hustle. Had me hooked right to the end! ✍🏼📖⭐️
>Then he drove off in his rattlecan Silverado without her. He'd driven her there. And then I had to take her home.
There you go, Dear Mommy! Look at your Dear Boy just did: up and left you stranded xD
>Before leaving town, my brother showed up outside my house **to give me the double middle finger and dance around like a monkey** while cursing at me in the street
That's........... not the badass move he thinks it is......
Some people really have no...... brain? Goddamn, what a trip! At least this was no "Do it for Dan" type of story when OOP got his house
I just dunno why OOP kept giving this stupid man chances and helping him out "because family" fuck that
I remember this saga when it was fresh.
Sad to hear about. :(
I hope everyone gets therapy, especially that poor girl. Seeing her mother get assaulted by her father, yikes. D:
“We live in the southeast.” Yeah, we all kinda knew that already.
I never imagined anything else. It is like I heard the accent .
Was it the “redneck brawl” that tipped you off?
I’m in Alberta and I was 100% convinced this was local to me until I read the bit about fall/winter being rainy instead of downright miserable cold. But I guess that’s probably part of why they call us the Texas of the North.
I'm from the Midwest, but a huge hockey fan. My assumption was the southeast... Or Alberta haha
As a southerner, I’m picturing his brother as Joe Dirt.
I'm picturing the brother as Kid Rock.
> Not sure why he specified that part of the US. Maybe because we live in the southeast. I KNEW IT!
Florida Man, or 'Bama Boy, do you think?
As a 'bama boy, who grew up poor and spent lots of time in trailer parks. I'm going with him being kin. Nothing he's described here is at all suspect, I've seen similar and even worse growing up. To put it into perspective, I wasn't completely sure Trailer Park Boys wasn't an actual documentary when I first stumbled on it, until they started shooting at each other then I was 100% sure it was not a documentary, love us or hate us, we're much better shots than that!
But you guys still took time outs if someone got shot right?
Well, other than BB guns, we didn't usually shoot at each other. Mostly we shot at turtles, beer cans, bottles, and trees. Yes, fucking trees.
What have turtles done? 😱 Cans are much funnier to shoot after
Turtles in your pond can wreak havoc on your fish. I'd say they're aquatic rats, but that is muskrats, who I'll also shoot, but never had a pond with muskrats in it, thankfully.
They'd eat my baby ducks, the monsters. Also, they taste good in a stew.
Trailer Park Boys takes place in Canada. We have a lot less experience with shooting at people. That’s why our aim is so crap.
Is it wrong that the more I hear about these areas of America, the more I get the urge to visit them?!
You ever find yourself in north 'bama or middle tennessee, you let me know and I'll smoke a butt and you can come get some of the best bbq you've ever had. Or I can make sushi, I'm quite eclectic :)
They’re often really great places to visit tbh. Good food, fun times, etc If you’re white, anyhow. Unfortunately. But live? Christ no.
white and straight. There's a lotta negatives around here, still. But some of us are trying. I like everybody, unless they piss me off.
Bama girl here and it sounds like either Alabama or Mississippi
Yeah Mississippi wouldn't surprise me, either.
This has 'Bama written all over it
You haven’t been to Northeast Florida, have you?
You mean lower Alabama?
Or northwest Florida. This could have been written by my dad about either of his brothers, I swear to god.
Could be rural Georgia
In MS, so it felt SO LOCAL.
The person he bought the house from was moving to Florida, so he’s almost certainly not already in Florida. Not from the south myself, but I assumed Alabama immediately lol.
I'm from Alabama and assumed the same. Hell, I might know them.
With the truck and camping... Bama boy is my bet. I've got relatives in both locations and the truck culture screams 'Bama.
if it's Florida, it's panhandle. otherwise 'Bama
Haha! I just posted this. I have lived all over the south because of the military and private sector. There is something different really sad and dire about the florida panhandle whether it’s Alabama or Georgia. The rural part makes it bad but people there know that the world has left them behind. It’s learned helplessness. Poverty, lack of education and resources just makes them feel stuck. When I say resources I know it’s complicated. Before, there used to be a lot of factories and our grandparents/parents could live there and have a good life. It hasn’t been that way for a long time though. We have lost so many people from overdoses and other self destructive behavior. This dude was/is a ticking time bomb.
I think it depends on which panhandle town, honestly. I've lived here my entire life and while I wouldn't say my town's without issues I don't think I'd say it's dire down here. We have the problems of any small town in the US, no more, no less?
Could you please explain to this idiot European woman what a 'Bama Boy is, please? Florida Man made it out internationally, but the other one is a mistery to me.
Same as Florida Man, but from Alabama. There might be some small differences but the best descriptor is: trash-ass rednecks.
Ah, I see... I must admit I'm more familiar with the... ahem... "sweet home Alabama" trope. But it's never too late to learn new things.
The beautiful thing about America is we have a whole rainbow of jackass rednecks! No matter if they’re in Alabama, Texas, Alaska, or even New York, it’s all the same trash just in a different place. 🤣
A man from Alabama.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Mississippi either.
This was my first thought, too. Figured that they were from Yoknapatawpha County.
not Florida, when he gets the house he says the previous owner was planing to move to Florida. Pretty sure he says down to Florida to so this could be Georgia or something as well.
I will eat my hat if it aint a Bama Boy.
Hell, I'm not in the US but watched enough american movies and tv shows to be like "Alabama or Florida" xDDD
Nah, NC.
OOP specifically mentions his friend’s grandfather was moving to Florida as the reason he got a house, so they can’t already be in Florida.
I wanted to say I thought this too. I was thinking Florida/Georgia Alabama/Florida. IYKYK.
Gotta be Florida, right?
Can't be Florida, he mentioned a friend's grandpa moving away *to* Florida as how he got his house. People are guessing Alabama or Mississippi, but it could be South Carolina.
I was thinking South Carolina too
Same! I'd bet Florida or close. We tend to make the most crazy reckless man children.
>The next part I post, my brother did the dumbest thing of all. I expected next part to be about stupidity, not assault commited three times
I’m trying to wrap my head around Sara dating and having a kid with this POS. Whoever figures out what she *saw* in him should get a Nobel prize or something
They dated in high school. The bar was low and she didn't know any better. My ideas of love were fueled by good book boyfriends, and I didn't really start dating until I was an adult. My friends who carried into their 20s with high school or middle school sweethearts put up with a lot because they were used to it and thought it was normal.
Jeez book boyfriends can really screw you up at that age. You think MC bad boys are the best and not super problematic. The more drama the better the book. Give me fist fights over girls swooning at 15. Ugh young me had bad taste. My favorites are the dudes who communicate now. lol I’m old
Not *those* book boyfriends! lol I mean the good kind, who support the FL in her dreams and don't do bad things because they're "tormented" or "don't know how to love."
When I was young I suppose “bad boy” was just another way of saying “exciting”. Now I’m in my 30s and understand that “exciting” really just means “drama” and I am too old for that lol
Also OP said that brother got bad after high school, which to me it seems like maybe he was decent when Sarah started dating him
Everyone around him matured. I bet he was the same then as he is now. When my teenage nephew runs into his little sister's room to fart he's not being exactly high brow with his comedy, but he's a teenager in high school. If he was a grown man shoving his butt against a truck to fart on it? Same behavior. One is 'worse' behavior because they forgot to grow up. I bet he was just as much a douche doing the exact same stuff. But they were all 13-18, so they saw it as normal immaturity. I expect my nephew to not revenge fart in his sister's space, eventually. This guy never stopped being a 16 year old boy who farts on other people's stuff.
these comments kind of bother me because abusers frequently hide their true nature for long amounts of time. she obviously didn't date THIS guy, she dated a version of him who was either doing much better or hiding his true nature by lying to her. either way it's not her fault, she clearly fears him and is right to. poor girl
I do not think he _was_ that guy in high school. He was probably dumb, and saying some stupid shit, but living at home, not having money, and going to school every day (and not legal to drink) will curtail his exploits. And then he grew up and experimented with drinking, pot, and lifestyle, and kept making bad choices while OP, with the same upbringing (and probably not too dissimilar in High School) grew up and made healthier ones.
OP also said he wasnt a huge douche until he moved out, so when Sara and the brother started dating in high school he probably wasnt nearly as bad.
I'm not sure the ages of everybody involved, but he mentions his older brother dating her in highschool, so they were probably teens/early 20s when dating. Considering also this is all smalltown bullshit, the brother might have been the least shitty turd in the bowl at the time. The brother's behavior shows a pattern of continually getting worse, which means in the past he was better. He's probably the kind of guy to make a huge deal over wearing condoms too. So yeah I kinda get it, people make mistakes when they're young and dumb. At least she's living with her parents with custody of the kid, so there's hopefully some stability. *edit* He's currently early 30s and brother is 2 years older, so the brother and Sara were probably 19 at the oldest when dating. That's definitely a stupid-mistake age. Ten years since then also means the kid is old enough to remember seeing the dad beat up the mom, so that's not great.
Yeah, so I'm thinking he wasn't the least shitty turd in the bowl. But, they were all younger. You know who revenge farts right now? My teenage nephew. He'll get in a petty argument with his little sister and run in her room, fart, run out, shut the door, and yell that he locked her bearded dragon in with his fart and now her pet smells like farts. It's almost a little funny because seriously, he told her that he locked her beardie in with his farts and her beardie smells like farts. Why? It's ridiculous teenage antics because farts are clearly peak comedy. This guy was revenge farting on a truck. His 16 year old self revenge farting on a truck was nearly funny, and potentially funny if you were also 16 back then. My brother once threatened that one day he'd put his naked butt on my guitar and then he'd ask me how my sitar played after I touched my naked butt guitar. We were probably 14 (me) and 16 (butt brother) at the time. Teenagers are the types who do that thing. They will also sometimes find it hilarious. Because butts are also clearly peak comedy. She thought his farting on trucks was fucking hysterical when she was 16. Then she wasn't, and he was still farting on trucks. She was no longer mentally 16. He was still doing the same shit. Everyone around him quit threatening to turn their sister's guitar into a sitar via butt rubbing. He did not. He's the guy in What's My Age Again? He failed to realize you don't act like you're a frat boy your entire life because other people got tired of watching you clown and he still expects praise for rubbing his butt on a door like he got when he was 16. He didn't get as many laughs, this time. Maybe he'll try rubbing his dick on the handle, next time. Instead of realizing everyone moved on from his peak comedy, he pushed the envelope, much like a child. Then his life was crumbling and he just snapped and lost his shit. Why didn't Sara take him back? He would've rubbed his dick on so many things, all to make her laugh.
30 and 32.
They started dating in high school. Kids are dumb.
these comments kind of bother me because abusers frequently hide their true nature for long amounts of time. she obviously didn't date THIS guy, she dated a version of him who was either doing much better or hiding his true nature by lying to her. either way it's not her fault, she clearly fears him and is right to. poor girl
Abusers often don’t show their abusive side until they believe they have you locked down is why.
That struck me as well. Like how did this guy ever have someone around long enough to become an Ex? High school romance. Small town. Pregnancy. Ohhhh.
What in the trailpark fuck of backwoods inbred shit did i just read? I half expected the Duke Boys to show up.
This read like diary entries (if they kept them) of my paternal side of the family as I was growing up. Nothing in this story is even shocking to me, I've seen similar shit.
My family does this stuff currently. Cousin’s truck has caught on fire when he was doing donuts in the front yard. I don’t know mechanics so don’t know how your engine catches fire when you are muddin’. I just assumed that he passed out drunk in the driver’s seat, and dropped his cigarette onto the mcdonald’s food wrappers on the floor of his truck. This was his third truck to burn up this way. I feel for the neighbors who bought houses in the newly built subdivision in our old tobacco fields. Cousin always planted soybeans in what is now the buffer between the old home place and the new subdivision. So he could take pot shots from the back porch at the deer lured to the soybeans. Now those shots are backstopped by someone’s suburban mansion. Don’t you just admire how life is such an unknowable mystery for cousins? No rhyme or reason, just sound and fury and impulses, lots of indulged impulses.
> No rhyme or reason, just sound and fury and impulses, lots of indulged impulses. This is poetry
I can't comment, because there's a 12 gauge shotgun with a laser dot on the ammo cylinder hidden by my back door so I can shoot raccoons in the dark. Now, as for the deer, there's a small creek that runs between my backyard and my pasture that the deer like to follow. I've gotta sight in my .308 so next winter I can get me a few. We just moved so I've got a lot of projects, one is getting ready to put some venison in the freezer next winter.
He has such a unique writing style. I felt it was a little contrived until I saw his edits and notes that are in the same voice. I think this is just how he writes, and it’s entertaining as hell.
I'm torn on whether he's exactly what he claims to be (and these are all real stories) who just happens to be a great writer, or if he's a writer developing a character/family for a book/tv show. But honestly, I really don't care, I just enjoy reading his entries. His writing is wonderful, with a unique voice and real perspective. He reminds me T.R. Pearson.
This is one of my favorite BoRUs and little sagas.
A+ for drama, but lordy: OOP's brother needs to be locked away somewhere he can't do any harm.
Yea, there was definitely a point where it all just got depressing.
> OOP's brother needs to be locked away somewhere he can't do any harm. I'm rooting for the OOP's brother to follow through on the threats change his name and move far away. Then I want him to stop drinking and because a metal artist doing awesome "outsider art" and give TED talks about it.
Truly. The guy is just spiraling and I wonder how much longer he lasts before he does something majorly awful like unaliving someone or something.
Mine too. I saw the title and new update flair and I was stoked.
Same - grabbed some cashews and a cold beer and settled in to read it. Totally worth it.
Hold up. I think you meant to say “Top shelf liquor and salt-and-pepper pork rinds.” lol.
No, but that's a great idea! I'll re-read it if I get those things assembled. :D
Friday night on Reddit, living vicariously through BORU sagas. But tomorrow my hangover won't be as bad as others.
As a 'bama boy myself, I grabbed a couple shots of Jaeger and a 4-loko (mixed with a hard seltzer because it's too sweet otherwise).
I went back and refreshed my memory by reading the old ones.
Didn't see this so far but damn, OOP would make a really good author.
Would he? He takes 5 paragraphs to provide 1 paragraph's worth of information.
That is why one of the worlds best selling books is so to the point. Tolkien famous for conveying information fast and clear cut.
😂😂😂
He's no Stephen King, King is the master of a full chapter of segue for what could be a sentence.
Books would be a lot shorter and less interesting if 'getting the information out efficiently' was the main goal.
I read a lot of Reader's Digest Condensed novels growing up. I feel this statement.
The fact that he keeps it engaging and provides colorful detail while stretching the informative upload is why he would be such a good author.
But were you entertained?
Not all writers are journalists.
Lol at least he's more funny than Tolkien and his descriptions are a whole lot better too 😂 I love Tolkien and his universe to death, but I simply can't read his books with my ADHD brain 😅
Just enjoying my stories.
My immediate thought when I saw there was a new update was "Quick, get popcorn!!"
I remember reading this one a while ago and feeling a weird sort of admiration for the brother. It's a pretty impressive bit of redneck ingenuity to look at a minivan and think "I can make this into a truck" and then have both the self-confidence and skills to actually kind of do it. I'm probably just jealous that I'm not that handy, and I remember thinking Junkyard Wars was supremely cool as a kid. Obviously I'd want nothing to do with this guy in real life.
In high school I knew a guy who drove a Chevy Cavalier with a shortened truck bed welded on; his actually had a decent paint job. This kind of thing isn't unheard of in redneck small towns, and it's amazing what you can pull off with welding gear and junkyard parts.
I've known several rednecks with several car/truck conversions. A 1974 Chrysler New Yorker my best friend did was my favorite, when he was done you could load 4x8 plywood in it flat. I helped rattlecan it when he was done :D And we camped in it a few times on his mom's property with a generator and lots of beer.
It’s stunning to me that someone actually paid him good money for it
[удалено]
Honestly the dumbest thing the brother ever did. You hardly ever see a Baja on the road, and every time I do I think, "goddamn I wish I had one"
I live in Colorado which is Subaru Central, one of my neighbors has an Ascent. Every once in a while on the Interstate I'll see a Baja. Plus the occasional so-ancient Subaru you're scratching your head on how that thing is still running.
I'm absolutely reeling that anyone would be rid of a Baja! Absolute dream car!
>This sorta thing can only happen in a town like ours. I had to laugh at this part because every time there's an update from this guy, I think "this is such classic Small Town USA".
It really is, it's Small Town with the Gulf State flavor, just like there's Midwest BS and Texas Honkytonk shenanigans
"Try that in a small town"
Brb gotta go ask my friends whose brother bought the mini ram
Jesus, did the posts ever indicate the ages of these people? If they didn't have kids and parents using canes, I'd hav e guessed they were early-20 year olds.
He says >As for our ages. I'm 30, and my brother is 32
Late 20s, early 30s. Dodge ram transmission first went a week before the brother's 30th birthday in part 1.
One of the posts from a couple years back mentions the older brother's thirtieth birthday. So, early thirties, it sounds like?
OOP says he’s 30 and shithead bro is 32. so he was mid/late 20s when the truck saga began
OOOP is 30, brother is 32
OOP is 30 at the beginning, brother is 32.
I’m a criminal defense lawyer in a rural area, it’s crazy how accurate this is lol
>I knew we were roughly even in a fight. So I ambushed and hit him in the back with a rubber mallet, and then beat the shit out of him. Yep, proper sibling warfare.
Seriously, this is one of the most entertaining BORU I have ever read.
This saga is amazing, I hope Netflix or Amazon picks this up and turn into a 4-6 episodes mini series. I'm usually very skeptical of reddit stories, even more of large sagas, but It's so much dumb shit that I don't think someone could have easily come up with it. And OOP is such a great storyteller. Terrible taste in booze, though, the honey stuff is just nasty.
The only part that sticks out as major bs is people selling houses for a heavy discount to non relatives. Everything else sounds plausible with a lot of meth.
Reading the first two BORUs my first thought was meth. That's not stoner engineering. That's meth head engineering.
Yea, especially around age 30. I could see this being more redneck engineering for a teen/early 20s.
What? No. Mead is the only thing I’ll drink, it’s so tasty. Can’t speak for honey whisky though.
No, honey whiskey isn't at all the same as mead. I like mead in theory but it gives me the same kind of headache I get from red wine. There's a distillery in Virginia (copper kettle) that makes an apple whiskey that tastes exactly like apple juice, it's incredible! It's the only flavored whiskey I like tbh.
If you ever feel like trying out more flavored whiskeys, I recommend Standard Proof out of TN. They make really good infused ryes: mint, coffee, pineapple, honeysuckle, etc...and they're not sweetened like a lot of flavored whiskeys are. I don't even like coffee, but their Arabica-infused rye is gorgeous. My husband loves using the mint one in a (bastardized) julep.
That sounds great! My family love all those crazy crown royal flavors and I think they are all disgusting and so i stopped wasting my money trying them. I also love rye-- less sweet than bourbon.
Fellow mead lover here, it's the best. I also like cider. Wine can miss me with that blah-ness.
This is one of those stories that feels like a bunch of different small town characters he knew or knew of combined into one comical person.
It's also pretty realistic for those areas. The idiot brother getting a quote frankly underwhelming sentencing for the crimes he commited sounds about right for those areas.
I just knew the OOP was in the southeast. The mini-ram says it all, plus rattle can painting vehicles. If I had to guess, sounds like they are in one of the Carolinas, probably north, as we have a lot of craft beers here.
Car brains are something else man. I’ll never understand the need for anything more than a Subaru
I'm currently looking to buy a used Subaru. Would I buy a Ford F150 if I won the lottery? Sure. Do I actually need one? Nope. Though I would want to live a life where I did!
If I won the lottery I might get one of those turbo special edition Foresters LOL.
>But I knew he wouldn't be able to drink it for months anyway. This is the first thing my mind went to when I read that OOP gave the bottle of honey whisky to Shithead. Like, damn! Shithead won't throw it out because free booze, but he's going to have to look at it every day and burn his brain with the fact that it represents that HE. LOST! This was OOP'S giant middle finger back to Shithead - and it's a middle finger that Shithead will willingly store on his shelf because of his slovenly greed of free booze. OOP gave him his rope, and Shithead hangs himself with it every day! Talk about long-game petty!
What in the Copenhagen and King Cobra by the pallet shit *is* this hahaha
Ah, small town drama, reminds me of a cousin who kinda lost it and ended up threatening family at my grandmothers funeral.
Wakes, funerals, and weddings. They can bring out the unbelievable in people. SMH.
so do batshit crazy aunts, who married douche bag main character uncles.
Hilariously Reddit put an ad for Ram trucks right above this post
His brother is like mine. I'm no contact with him, too. Maybe I should write out the saga of my stupid, entitled brother once I work through some of the trauma he left with me. Oof.
Clearly this guy hasn't discovered the cure for hookworms yet. His voice in my head is a cross between the kid from Deliverance and Bobby Hill.
We'll be back soon here on Alabama FM after these messages from our sponsors.
In AL it’s known as the “Rick and Bubba Show.”
I want a picture of the van truck
My favorite part is him giving his brother that bottle of honey whiskey. That was legendary. Talk about shutting a narc’s mouth in less than half a second. That’s called setting a record.
This brother is seriously unhinged and deserves to be behind bars. He attacked his own brother, his ex in front of his daughter, and his own father. Nope.
All I could think about while reading this was that guy from Missouri who got shot in broad daylight and nobody came forward as a witness because he was such a public menace.
Well, it was an entertaining read and I want to say that it’s a shame it’s come to an end but but not really because it’s for the best, the last thing OOP, his folks, Sara and everyone else needs is the brother escalating his psychotic behavior.
Wowsers. I should have got the popcorn! 🤣
The rubber mallet, our hero of justice
The rubbery whacks of justice.
That was the greatest saga of dumbassery I have ever read!
This saga is honestly one of the most entertaining boru I’ve read.
I wish this didn’t end.
I'm glad it did for OP's sake and his parent's sakes. Entertaining read, yes, but not worth the trouble for them.
And poor Sara and her kid!
Let's hope for some nice calmer updates about weird shit he builds for his house, maybe have some great BBQ with niece, beanstalk, and the rest of the family and how they can have an old car to spruce up as a family project 👍 Hope he gets his dad a better cane too, hollow aluminium doesn't sound like it does the man justice!
Considering it progressed from childish and amusing antics to domestic violence I'm kind of glad it did.
I mean assuming this is a real story about someone's real life that's kinda fucked up
For once, I can relate to a story. I grew up very poor in rural Alabama, and nothing in this tale is hard to believe, I've seen plenty similar shit go down in trailer parks and the small town where I grew up.
Oh yeah right down to the narration, I'm all on board with this being likely legit.
I read the saga from the beginning. It's--WOW.
I read that in the hickest voice ever, it was like I could hear someone narrating in my head
> Maybe because we live in the southeast. Were you surprised? I was surprised.😂
I feel sorry for the parents. Imagine rising kids pretty decently just for one of them to end up being an asshole on their own accord.
I imagine OOP'S brother like Mel Gibson on South Park
"I'm back with a bad one" Flair please
Honestly. I wanna just sit down and have a beer with OP. I don't even drink. Them southern guys always got some good stories to tell.
>But he's just a terrible person. And the only one who's still missing him, is our mother. She's still kinda broken up about it. But dad has been unwavering that they did the right thing by disowning him. Disowning your son can be the right thing, AND you can be broken up about it. In fact, I would expect any mentally healthy parent to be devastated that things have come to such an ended. I wish OOP hadn't expressed it as if his mother is wrong to feel bad about being estranged from her son.
'Game of Mobile Homes'
I believe it because I lived in a small ass town during my high school years and the shit that goes on in those small towns could rival most soap operas.
The re-cap was so needed and appreciated. Wow did this still keep going, though
I remember reading about the truck. I'm glad OOP got a house. Sadly, I'm not surprised that older bro got upset.
Well OP has the gift if the gab. He should write some stories - a good cathartic exercise. He’s got a lot of material and could be good side hustle. Had me hooked right to the end! ✍🏼📖⭐️
>Then he drove off in his rattlecan Silverado without her. He'd driven her there. And then I had to take her home. There you go, Dear Mommy! Look at your Dear Boy just did: up and left you stranded xD >Before leaving town, my brother showed up outside my house **to give me the double middle finger and dance around like a monkey** while cursing at me in the street That's........... not the badass move he thinks it is...... Some people really have no...... brain? Goddamn, what a trip! At least this was no "Do it for Dan" type of story when OOP got his house I just dunno why OOP kept giving this stupid man chances and helping him out "because family" fuck that
Anyone ever find out wtf this was about? > I keep seeing comments about a clock radio. Pardon me for not getting the reference.
As a non-American I won’t judge if this is real but it’s the most Dukes of Hazard shit I’ve ever read
I remember this saga when it was fresh. Sad to hear about. :( I hope everyone gets therapy, especially that poor girl. Seeing her mother get assaulted by her father, yikes. D:
Wasn't expecting the brother to be a gifted welder able to do aluminum. It takes a special kind of idiot to be that broke with that skill set.
r/fuckcars
Ah, Florida.
Nah, he says he bought his house from someone moving TO Florida. This is pure Alabama. Source: grew up in rural Alabama.
Oh you are right. Alabama makes sense
I have family in Opelika. I could see this shit going down there, easily.
Opelika is too nice. This seems more like Collinsville, the part of town close to the flea market.
Damn I loved the saga of the Mini-Ram but damn. It’s insane how stupid jealousy can ruin someone’s life. For no reason!
Why use a thousand words to tell a story when eight million will do….
Welders must make a lot of money.