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My name is Nathan, but I've been Nate since I was 2 days old. I love when a boomie decides to fullname me and call me Nathaniel, which is not my name.
"Yes it's your name, Nathan is short for Nathaniel, so that's your name. Nobody named Bob is actually named Bob - your name is Nathaniel"
No, you old fuck, my name is Nate, and if you don't want to call me that, I don't need to hear anything from you, Barbara.
"My name isn't Barbara.."
My name isn't Nathaniel, but I guess people's names don't matter because apparently you can tell people their name is wrong. I don't know your name but if it's not Barbara, you were named wrong.
"My name is Tim..."
Oh? Just Tim? Not Timmy or Timothy? Nah, you don't know your own name, your name is Barbara, calm tf down, Barb.
At least in Northern California, Nathaniel is also pretty rare. I'm in my '50s, and I'm not sure I've ever met someone named Nathaniel. But I've known a number of Nathans in my life.
My grandfather and father were Bobby Sr and Bobby Jr on all official paperwork. Bob and Butch in conversation. I've had so many people try to convince me they were Roberts. And the fact that my mother didn't have a middle name has blown a few minds as well.
I've had students who were legally named Ronny, Johnny, and Ziggy (I've also had a Ziegler who went by Ziggy). I've even had a kid whose legal first name was Junior.
I have a Jamie. Everyone argued with him it is James. He tells them his mother (me) doesn't like the name James but loved Jamie so that is what is on his birth certificate. Not sure why people don't believe him. It's is his name.
I'm an older Gen X, and when I was in elementary school, there was one teacher who refused to use nicknames. Given the time period, there were lots of kids named Jenny, Kathy, Patty, Dave, Mike, Danny, etc.
She had this weird philosophy that nicknames weren't real names, and wouldn't use them. She called them Jennifer, Katherine, Patricia, David, Michael, and Daniel. Except one Danny was just Danny. He wasn't Daniel. I don't remember all the details, but I know it caused a big issue, with him ignoring her and his parents getting involved. I do remember if she called on him, she'd emphasize his name in a very obnoxious way.
"Okay, DANNY, what is the answer?"
"DANNY, please pass the papers back."
God I hate the pretentious. My father over annunciates things because he thinks he's being clever, like You've never heard the 't' in Costco so clearly before, and Superstore becomes
Super Store, with literally a verbally annunciated space between the now two words.
Just shut tf up, nobody thinks you're clever with your hyper-inflated sense of diction superiority.
You just awakened a very old rage in me regarding my mother and the way she pronounced the word ‘mature’ - you can imagine the circumstances in which I usually heard it - as ‘ma-tour.’ And yet the daft bitch couldn’t pronounce ‘statistics’ correctly to save her life.
I have a friend whose name is katie. It’s on her birth certificate. Old people do the same thing. Shocked it’s not her name and then call her Katherine anyway, and then get miffed when she doesn’t respond….because her name isn’t Katherine lol.
People do this to me with John, my actual name, and Jonathan. They’re not boomers though, but I do make them regret it with a full lecture of the origins in Hebrew and how John is a separate name from Jonathan. With the added tidbit that Jonathan is actually closer to Matthew in origins, as Matthew comes from flipping the two parts that make up the base of Jonathan.
Edit: well, they only get the lecture if they’re like “huh never knew that” and show curiosity, or if they try to argue with me as if I don’t know my own damn name or anyone else’s
I’ve sometimes been tempted to name my (hypothetical) future son “Jonathan” and then only call him “Nathan” so he can blow people’s minds when they eventually find out his full name.
Or better yet…name him “Jon Nathan”
That would really mess with people’s heads!
This happened to my cousin.
Her name is Debbie, literally on the birth certificate and legally. Her teacher kept calling her Deborah and finally my aunt had to call her and explain it's not an informal nickname. It's her name.
I knew a guy named Nate in HS. When I inquired about his possible full name, I misheard and thought he said Naytron and thought it was super cool his parents made up a name for him. He said Nathan. It was at Nate's house I discovered if you mix one can of grape concentrate with 1.5 cans of water and one can of vodka, you don't really taste the vodka. Good ol' nate-tron macD
It's not exactly the same but I use my middle name and it drives me \*bonkers\* when people call it a nickname, especially because my parents always intended to call me that.
"But you're white."
With growing realization and horror on your face, "Oh... Oh NO! OH MY GOD YOU'RE RIGHT! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!???"
Then flee the scene, arms flailing.
LOL…
I used to work at a drunk tank, where we got all kinds of abuse and names thrown at us. My favorite was when they’d call me bald. Note that it is quite obvious I shave my head. So I would always grab my head, and yell in mounting horror “Oh my god! Where the fuck did it go?!”
Went to a bar on St. Patricks day and ordered a Smithwicks, which is pronounced 'smiddicks'. So I order it with that pronounciation. the boomer lady behind the bar goes 'it's ssssmmmmiiiiitttthhhhwwwwwwiiiiccckkkkssss'. no it's not.
The proper pronunciation of Smithwick’s is a public service announcement I give every St. Patrick’s Day, along with a reminder that a Guinness floated on Harp is a “half and half” not a “black and tan.” If that happened to me I’d have to stop myself from going full pedant on her and telling her her she’s just as bad as the frat boys showing up with fake IDs demanding an “Irish car bomb”
So many boomers will say they are Scottish or Irish and absolutely butcher Celtic names. My sons name is common in Ireland but not here and they just can’t wrap their head around it at all
Nope. Plain Ole American milquetoast is what they are. Same as all of us born here. Don't tell them though there might be a meltdown if they find out they aren't special
Well, you can; but it involves a lot of plastic, tape, and a shovel. Best not to try and fix stupid, too much work and law enforcement generally looks down on the activity.
A quote I have used from Miss Manners many times, "I appreciate the compassion, but I assure you the concern is misplaced."
Say it with a feigned smile and just stare. It's polite. It's to the point. It doesn't need follow-up.
Miss manners is the 100% best at telling these people to shut the fuck up and fuck off, but you know... all polite and nice like. Like damn Miss Manners you ain't gotta be that savage this is a homicide.
I know plenty of people who live in double-wides who have better manners than this guy. When “trailer trash” is outdoing you on the etiquette front, you should really take a step back and look at your life and choices. (“You” meaning this particular boomer)
I have a name that’s uncommon in the US but popular in the Middle East. I work in healthcare and had a boomer patient stare at my name tag then ask where I was from. I said South Carolina to which he replied “you’re lying, you’ve gotta be from the Middle East.” I just stared at him and said no I’m not. “Well you look middle eastern” as he continued to stare at my name tag in disbelief. I’m very fair skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes. Boomers are weird.
Oh god my mother did this. The radiation oncologist comes in to her hospital room and spends a significant amount of time explaining what was going on and what the plan was. He appeared to be South Asian, but spoke with the most country-ass southern (US) drawl.
He finishes his spiel and asks if any of us have any questions. My mom? She asks “Where are you from?” He doesn’t skip a beat “Ma’am I am from Opelika Alabama.”
I wanted to melt into the floor.
Actually Tennessee. Saw him on a talk show years ago and the host asked if he was married. (He was young at the time). He said he wasn’t and that the problem was his mother wanted him to marry a Korean girl and the only one he knew was his sister and contrary to popular belief that wasn’t legal in Tennessee.
I worked in a nursing home and we had this volunteer who was middle eastern looking because I guess his ancestry was middle eastern. We had this resident, Helen, who asked him once where he’s from. He said “I’m from here Helen” and she said “no where are you *from*”. He said “*here*” and she goes “where are your parents from” and he said “also here” and she started getting salty and asked him again and he finally said “if you mean why am I brown it’s because my family is from Iran. But me and my parents are from here. Been here all our lives”
Old people really be like that sometimes
I’m a Muslim woman who wears hijab, I’m mixed race (part Austrian) and my first name is “white”. People think I made up my name too. Like when I order coffee and tell them my name - that smirk. So annoying.
My grandma who is 100% white has a name originating from China because her mother read a book and loved the name. She goes by a more "white" sounding nickname but on official documents her full name is listed, obviously. She has said a lot of people expect her to be either Asian or Black and are shocked when she isn't either lol.
I feel that. My mom thought she made up my name, but it turns out it's a semi-popular name in India (I'm white American). I've had conversations with foreign telemarketers/call center operators who go off script to tell me about their relative(s) with my name.
I know an Irish woman named Quinn who took her Chinese husband’s last name (it isn’t Chang, but it’s about as stereotypically Chinese as Chang). She says she gets the funniest looks when Quinn Chang shows up and is a pale blonde with blue eyes.
Lee is also a FFV (First Families of Virginia) surname. I had a friend who did telephone sales back in the ‘90’s who was told in training to never assume when talking to someone with the last name of Lee.
I've had the same thing with a boomer.
My name has a much more common variant that is pronounced slightly differently, however both my name and variant are Biblical. I was at work, and introduced myself to this Boomer lady, and she said "No, your name is [variant]". I politely corrected her and pointed at my name badge.
She insisted I didn't know my own name, and it must have been [variant]. I walked away and said to the receptionist someone else can help her as I won't.
I just wanted to throw out all the ones I could think of for fun 😅
Sarai and Sarah,
SAY-lah and SEE-lah (Selah),
Benyamin and Benjamin,
Ilia and Elijah,
Marie and Mary and Maria,
Ibrahim and Abraham,
Levy and Levi,
Nathanael and Nathaniel,
Simeon and Simon,
Steven and Stephen,
Tomas and Thomas,
Anna and Hannah,
Joanna and Johanna
My name also has two variants, spelled the exact same but pronounced differently. I go by either because I hate constantly correcting people about it and also because the two names are false cognates and this amuses me.
I once had an older coworker storm off in a huff because I refused to tell him which pronunciation was my “real” name. He didn’t talk to me at all for about two weeks and then refused to address me by name for the rest of the time we worked together. I was just “hey, you!” for three months.
I grew up in the 70s/80s, a blond haired blue eyed kid, in the South, with the name Taj. Trust me, this is not new or exclusive to Boomers. My Granny once complained about a girl named Lashawn's name being funny, and my mom told her, "That takes a lot of nerve coming from a woman named Burdeal."
On top of being racist, they're also insanely picky. I'm a white girl with a very ordinary name and I've gotten shit from Boomers. Why? Because it's not girly enough.
I'm Sam. I've been Sam my whole life. My Mom named me Samantha with the intent of calling me Sam. She wanted me to have a bit of a boyish nickname (family tradition, I'll explain later). I never had a problem with my nice, simple, three-letter, one-sylable name. Until I started working retail and had my name clipped to my shirt for all the boomers to see.
Ocer and over, older customers would smirk, like they discovered some big secret, and ask "short for Samantha, riiiiiight?"
"Yeah, but Sam's fine."
"But whhhyyyy, Samantha's sooooo much prettier!"
"I just like it better. I've always been Sam."
A number of them refused to accept it and would insist on calling me Samantha, over and over again, like they were trying to teach me my own name. A few of them actually held up my line and refused to leave until I gave them a good enough reason to not use my full name.
I remember telling one that it was from my mom, who was named after her father and was Rickie her whole life. This lady gave me this horrified look and said, " Wow, you're mother must hate you!"
All this over one of the most ordinary names. They will just never be happy.
I love the name Samantha for that exact reason, the gender neutral nickname Sam. I also LOVE the name Ashley for a boy, it used to be a boy name anyway and Ash is such a badass nickname.
The funniest part is, before all this, I never cared what name people used. If someone used my full name, it wasn't a big deal. But back then, people didn't mean anything by it, they were just reading the paperwork.
But now that nosey old hags are starting fights over it, now it's a big deal. Now it's the name Mom gave me and, if they have a problem with it, they'll have a problem with me.
I’m the opposite! Everyone thinks that Samantha is my real name, but it’s not. People (often boomers) think they’re being real slick when they call me Samantha, then get irritated when I don’t answer to it. My parents picked my name because they like it; it’s as simple as that.
I was so excited when The Ting Tings came out with the song That’s Not My Name. It feels like an anthem 😂
I can't tell you how temping it was to tell them that. Look up a really weird name that might shorten to Sam and give them that. The main thing stopping me was the fact that one of my managers really sucked up to these hags and always sided with them. Knowing my luck, she'd figure out about it and squeal on me.
I usually wouldn't care that much either, except these customers were so pushy and hostile about it. Like it genuinely offended them to meet a woman that didn't have a super girly name.
Not the same, but most of the boomers I am introduced to immediately shorten my name to a common, old school version of it. I correct them every.damn.time.
I regularly have boomers tell me they won’t remember my name, or cannot pronounce so they are just going to call me (insert name here). Cool, just rename me, whatever. This was just the first time I had one try to convince that my name was not my name.
Same thing happened to me at a seasonal job, except it was a genx boss who decided to call me a different name for the entire summer instead of my actual name, even though the paperwork and schedule said my actual name. When she called the following year asking me to come back to work for her, I said no thanks. She asked why, and I explained I was accepted to graduate school and had an internship. She was super rude in response and implied I was a snob for going to graduate school instead of working a minimum wage seasonal job. It was the first time I ever experienced an adult putting me down for having career aspirations and made me realize that jealousy is a factor in people’s ignorance.
This is why they have such a problem with trans people! They can't even handle someone's name not being what *they* want it to be, much less gasp, their *gender*!
I was 26, very pregnant with my first. Having a family bbq with the (ex) in laws when FIL says “what are you going to name her. I was happy to tell them we would name her after my grandmother Chloe. There was a pause, he sort of twisted his face like he’d tasted something bad and said “why would you give her a n***** name?” One of the rare times in my life I was completely speechless.
Not quite as bad but when I was pregnant with my first in the late 80s, I told my grandfather I was thinking of Amanda. He tried to put me off saying Are you sure that's a black girls name.
The kicker... his name was Leroy. Literally the only white man I've ever seen with that name.
I love the name Chloe!!
I had a friend named Nikki. Legally, since birth. Her mom wanted to name her Nikita, but went with something less uncommon.
The amount of Boomers who refused to accept that this is her legal name is unreal. So many of them would call her *Nicole* to get her attention or to be condescending, and then get really mad when she NEVER responded to that name because it’s never been her name.
For a generation that claims they never change their own names, they sure do spend a lot of time worrying about names. My mom is a Boomer who always wanted to change her name but never went through with it. I suspect a lot of them are like this and just angry that they don’t have the guts to make a change to their social presentation like younger generations do.
The Generation ‘doth protest too much…
I’m Gen X. My name is Kerry. I was named this at the height of the name’s popularity (which wasn’t very high, I get that). I had a boomer roll her eyes at me once and comment about your generation (she thought I was a Millennial) always has to have special spellings of names.
I was confused. Because my name is spelled exactly like it should be. No -ie at the end. I told her this. She rolled her eyes again and said, with an attitude like I was a child, it’s C-A-R-R-I-E.
I laughed hard and said that’s not my name. It’s Kerry. It’s the anglicized name of the Gaelic name Ciarraí. It isn’t Carrie - and yes no matter how badly North Americans have merged vowels sounds it is said differently.
She shook her head and said, “well I never heard of it before.”
I said, “now you have! Look you learned something new today!”
my mum made up my name, and even though it’s very easy to read/pronounce, the amount of older people are say “are you sure” after i give them my name is astounding! even had an old woman say that my name was “too ethnic” to be my name (for reference i am a very pale ginger girl)
Boomers love the word "ethnic".
The last time I heard a boomer use it to describe people of color I played dumb and got them to explain what they meant. I replied with "Oh... I just call them people..."
I have one of the most basic of white names, and boomers still screw it up. Add about 4 extra syllables when they spell it (it's five letters). It's not a fancy version of a name. It's common, plain, standard, pretty much a perfect Boomer name to be honest. And they fuck it up. Nonstop.
I once dated someone whose white mother had a Hispanic first name. Her parents had named her after a popular song from around the time she was born. When I was introducing my date at a family event, my boomer aunt groused about people giving "foreign" names to white babies. But my lovely grandparents (both greatest gen) just immediately started singing together. They remembered the song her name came from, even 50+ years later. It was so sweet. My grandma said, "She is so lucky to have such a lovely name. I've always liked that song."
My son is a white ‘Andre’ cuz his dad is French Canadian, but we live in Georgia. He gets a lot of ‘is your full name Andrew?’ His black football coach used to jokingly say, ‘It’s the white boy with the black boy name!’
My name is Björn and you’d be surprised at how many old folks have called me “ Boner” or making my name sound like a fancy mustard. I usually just introduce myself as B 😂
This happened to me once at work, but I’m a freelancer and the person was a co-worker. I’m black/biracial and have a very ethnic European last name from my German dad… and one time a boomer male accused me “making up” my last name so that I would “get hired” more frequently. I was totally speechless… that was a new one for sure.
I have an unusual spelling of an incredibly common name for millennial women, although the name itself is technically unisex (originally a masculine name). I’ve been asked what country I’m from, asked how it’s pronounced, told it’s not my name and told it’s “spelled black.” I’m white. My name is part of why I left customer service, and I’ll be changing it at some point.
I have a cousin with an incredibly French name; her dad is a good ol’ Cajun boy. Her name starts with “La,” and she often gets the same thing. She kept her driver’s license in her pocket to randomly show to argumentative people at one point. At another point, she dropped $40 on two sets of business cards. The first simply said “yes, that’s my name” and the second set said “it’s Cajun French, and you’re a jackass.” She’d reach in one pocket and produce Card 1 at the initial disbelief and then produce Card 2 if they doubled down. She now goes by her middle name, a very common, “normal” name for an American woman in her 40s.
As my grandmother likes to remind me, “you can’t fix stupid.”
I got a boomer coworker who refuses to spell my name right and is even convinced that the company directory has it wrong. I’ve repeatedly reminded him that’s not how my name is spelled but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ everyone thinks he’s just coasting till retirement and dgaf.
I converted to Islam as an adult, but kept my “Christian” name. I’ve had all sorts of boomers refuse to accept that my name is my name.
At this point, I just say, call me anything, but I answer to X. I’m not arguing about my own name.
im white. my (boomer) parents gave me a japanese middle name because they "liked how it sounded". whenever i have been in a situation where i needed to give my middle name to a boomer, they accused me of lying or trying to been "trans-racial"
im not. my parents were just hippies and i just dont want the hassle of changing my middle name.
My wife gets this exact thing. Old people will come in and tell her "you shouldn't have that name because you're not black." She's always just like "???"
I've known about three other people with her name (Tamara, pronounced tam-uh-ruh). One of which was my aunt, and all of them have been white. Is it a southern trailer trash name? Yes. Is it an exclusively black name? No.
i would reply, "ACTUALLY..... MY NAME IS KUNTA KINTE!" and keep repeating it
the boomer \*SHOULD\* know the movie Roots (starring LeVar Burton!), it was a TV miniseries back in 1977, when you watched what was on broadcast and you liked it.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9NNlztQPaA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9NNlztQPaA)
I get the same reactions to my name. It’s more Latin American in origin (I’m half but very white passing). I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m sure this dudes name is something super generic lol like Bob or John 😂
My first name is only four letters and one syllable, but you’d think it was the most complicated word to have ever existed. My hairdresser just asked me what my ethnicity was, and since we’re both white I was a little confused. He indicated that because my first name “isn’t from around here” that I must be an immigrant I guess? I had to remind him that first names are chosen and aren’t always indicative of ethnicity or culture. It’s just a name my parents liked the sound of. That would be like assuming all people named Christian are, well, Christian (religious).
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My name is Nathan, but I've been Nate since I was 2 days old. I love when a boomie decides to fullname me and call me Nathaniel, which is not my name. "Yes it's your name, Nathan is short for Nathaniel, so that's your name. Nobody named Bob is actually named Bob - your name is Nathaniel" No, you old fuck, my name is Nate, and if you don't want to call me that, I don't need to hear anything from you, Barbara. "My name isn't Barbara.." My name isn't Nathaniel, but I guess people's names don't matter because apparently you can tell people their name is wrong. I don't know your name but if it's not Barbara, you were named wrong. "My name is Tim..." Oh? Just Tim? Not Timmy or Timothy? Nah, you don't know your own name, your name is Barbara, calm tf down, Barb.
In the U.K. Nathan is a pretty common name amongst the under 20s, and Nathaniel is very rare.
At least in Northern California, Nathaniel is also pretty rare. I'm in my '50s, and I'm not sure I've ever met someone named Nathaniel. But I've known a number of Nathans in my life.
My son's godfather is named Jimmy. That's his given name. Other people insist his name is James
I knew a guy named Bobby and it was not a nickname for Robert. Bobby was his legal name. It melted people’s brains.
My parents both have names like this. I get asked for their “full names” all the time.
My grandfather and father were Bobby Sr and Bobby Jr on all official paperwork. Bob and Butch in conversation. I've had so many people try to convince me they were Roberts. And the fact that my mother didn't have a middle name has blown a few minds as well.
I've had students who were legally named Ronny, Johnny, and Ziggy (I've also had a Ziegler who went by Ziggy). I've even had a kid whose legal first name was Junior.
I have a Jamie. Everyone argued with him it is James. He tells them his mother (me) doesn't like the name James but loved Jamie so that is what is on his birth certificate. Not sure why people don't believe him. It's is his name.
Nah, I bet it’s Jimothy
I'm an older Gen X, and when I was in elementary school, there was one teacher who refused to use nicknames. Given the time period, there were lots of kids named Jenny, Kathy, Patty, Dave, Mike, Danny, etc. She had this weird philosophy that nicknames weren't real names, and wouldn't use them. She called them Jennifer, Katherine, Patricia, David, Michael, and Daniel. Except one Danny was just Danny. He wasn't Daniel. I don't remember all the details, but I know it caused a big issue, with him ignoring her and his parents getting involved. I do remember if she called on him, she'd emphasize his name in a very obnoxious way. "Okay, DANNY, what is the answer?" "DANNY, please pass the papers back."
God I hate the pretentious. My father over annunciates things because he thinks he's being clever, like You've never heard the 't' in Costco so clearly before, and Superstore becomes Super Store, with literally a verbally annunciated space between the now two words. Just shut tf up, nobody thinks you're clever with your hyper-inflated sense of diction superiority.
It's enunciated not annunciated, son.
You just awakened a very old rage in me regarding my mother and the way she pronounced the word ‘mature’ - you can imagine the circumstances in which I usually heard it - as ‘ma-tour.’ And yet the daft bitch couldn’t pronounce ‘statistics’ correctly to save her life.
UGH. Middle Gen X here, and she sounds like my kindergarten teacher.
Nosy old lady: Is that short for Maximilian? My 6y/o brother. No. It’s long for M.
Is it too soon to have your brother run for president?
Sounds like Timstopher needs to mind his business.
Him and Derekzander
I have a friend whose name is katie. It’s on her birth certificate. Old people do the same thing. Shocked it’s not her name and then call her Katherine anyway, and then get miffed when she doesn’t respond….because her name isn’t Katherine lol.
And there's more than just Katherine that can be shortened to Katie. Kathleen, Katrina, Kaitlyn...
i have a friend named bella. they try to say isabella constantly. HER NAME IS BELLA.
People do this to me with John, my actual name, and Jonathan. They’re not boomers though, but I do make them regret it with a full lecture of the origins in Hebrew and how John is a separate name from Jonathan. With the added tidbit that Jonathan is actually closer to Matthew in origins, as Matthew comes from flipping the two parts that make up the base of Jonathan. Edit: well, they only get the lecture if they’re like “huh never knew that” and show curiosity, or if they try to argue with me as if I don’t know my own damn name or anyone else’s
I’ve sometimes been tempted to name my (hypothetical) future son “Jonathan” and then only call him “Nathan” so he can blow people’s minds when they eventually find out his full name. Or better yet…name him “Jon Nathan” That would really mess with people’s heads!
Settle down, Timberly.
This happened to my cousin. Her name is Debbie, literally on the birth certificate and legally. Her teacher kept calling her Deborah and finally my aunt had to call her and explain it's not an informal nickname. It's her name.
As a Nathaniel myself, good for you
I actually knew a pair of brothers both legally named Bobby and Robbie lol.
I knew a guy named Nate in HS. When I inquired about his possible full name, I misheard and thought he said Naytron and thought it was super cool his parents made up a name for him. He said Nathan. It was at Nate's house I discovered if you mix one can of grape concentrate with 1.5 cans of water and one can of vodka, you don't really taste the vodka. Good ol' nate-tron macD
It's not exactly the same but I use my middle name and it drives me \*bonkers\* when people call it a nickname, especially because my parents always intended to call me that.
Another Nathan that isn’t a Nathaniel and gets longnamed wrongfully, in the wild! Hey fellow Nathan.
My mother in law was born Kim, and her sister, Ginger. The amount of times people have *insisted* their names are Kimberly and Genevieve is shocking.
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. You thick cunt."
Thick as two short planks.
Thick as a yard of lard
Thick as a docker’s sandwich
Thick as a steer’s ear
As they say, don’t insult cnuts by comparison; they are vital, with warmth and depth.
"But you're white." With growing realization and horror on your face, "Oh... Oh NO! OH MY GOD YOU'RE RIGHT! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!???" Then flee the scene, arms flailing.
"You mean.... I'm going to be this color forever?!"
I see what ya did there, ya jerk.
Stay away from cans! He hates these cans!
OP's name is Navin.
"He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!"
lol I don’t think most people are going to get that one
Navin Johnson is somebody, and dammit, he's going to be somebody. He's moving up in the world and not looking back.
"You tattooed my name on your ass. WOW, I bet more people see this than the phone book!
Definitely accurate in 2024.
He only wants the freshest wine!
The phone book is here! The phonebook is here! I'm a real person!
She also promised him a blow job so he should be able to send more money home to his folks next week.
He had a special purpose
He hates these cans!!!
I'm picking out a thermos for you.
https://i.redd.it/u1r1uha0nxxc1.gif
“This music SPEAKS to me!”
I was born a poor black child…….
People of Earth, we have returned with great news. If any of you are still white we can cure you.
“I used to be green until that old white boomer bit me!”
Oh My God, Karen, You Can't Just Ask Someone Why They're White
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Hilarious, like full on Kermit the frog/Muppet flailing!
Just barely missed being first to FULL MUPPET.
Oh my GOD, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.
Was waiting for this.
>"But you're white." No, no, im not white. I am (insert name here).
No, This is Patrick.
"does Dad know!!?"
“I swear, I only wore pleated khakis that one time!”
LOL… I used to work at a drunk tank, where we got all kinds of abuse and names thrown at us. My favorite was when they’d call me bald. Note that it is quite obvious I shave my head. So I would always grab my head, and yell in mounting horror “Oh my god! Where the fuck did it go?!”
https://preview.redd.it/1uqywj5a9xxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5681cdc974c143bb202ffa360bfe62bdcbbacfac When someone tells me I’m white
Deadpan face: “they didn’t tell me I would start fading this fast! You mean there’s *no* colour left?!” 😳
I see you've been studying your Mormon theology 🤣
Or look down at your hands, "oh good, the disguise is working."
I don't know about that. I was born blind.
My white ass would loose my shit and be like. "What?! No!! Not again!" And just run off."
Bonus points for looking down at your arm/hands during the growing horror phase
Clayton Bigsby?
Curse this vitiligo
I'm gonna stay this color! Forever!?
Lmao...had a friend who reacted like that to being called white girl..."What??? I'm white??? Oh my God!!! Why didn't anyone tell me?"
“Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white”
Lol. Like in Lethal Weapon 2. "But you're black"
A little bit about me: I was born into a poor, black family but soon gave up for adoption because of my pasty white skin and European family name.
Boomer once told my friend Francesca that she didn’t know how to pronounce her own name. She said it should be pronounced “Frankesska”.
Went to a bar on St. Patricks day and ordered a Smithwicks, which is pronounced 'smiddicks'. So I order it with that pronounciation. the boomer lady behind the bar goes 'it's ssssmmmmiiiiitttthhhhwwwwwwiiiiccckkkkssss'. no it's not.
The proper pronunciation of Smithwick’s is a public service announcement I give every St. Patrick’s Day, along with a reminder that a Guinness floated on Harp is a “half and half” not a “black and tan.” If that happened to me I’d have to stop myself from going full pedant on her and telling her her she’s just as bad as the frat boys showing up with fake IDs demanding an “Irish car bomb”
So many boomers will say they are Scottish or Irish and absolutely butcher Celtic names. My sons name is common in Ireland but not here and they just can’t wrap their head around it at all
Are you still Irish or Scottish if your family hasn’t lived there for 100 years and you can’t speak the language and you don’t follow the customs?
Not at all. But boomers be boomerin
Nope. Plain Ole American milquetoast is what they are. Same as all of us born here. Don't tell them though there might be a meltdown if they find out they aren't special
You can't fix stupid.
Well, you can; but it involves a lot of plastic, tape, and a shovel. Best not to try and fix stupid, too much work and law enforcement generally looks down on the activity.
An awful lot of work. Ugh.
I had a math teacher in high school who refused to say a friends last name correctly because he insisted she wasn’t saying it right.
A quote I have used from Miss Manners many times, "I appreciate the compassion, but I assure you the concern is misplaced." Say it with a feigned smile and just stare. It's polite. It's to the point. It doesn't need follow-up.
Miss Manners is the bomb. When it doubt do what she would do.
Then kick em in the nuts‼️😀
Miss manners is the 100% best at telling these people to shut the fuck up and fuck off, but you know... all polite and nice like. Like damn Miss Manners you ain't gotta be that savage this is a homicide.
They’ll be thinking about what they just heard all the way back to their doublewide.
I know plenty of people who live in double-wides who have better manners than this guy. When “trailer trash” is outdoing you on the etiquette front, you should really take a step back and look at your life and choices. (“You” meaning this particular boomer)
I’m related to some quite polite trailer trash. Much more polite than the average McMansion crowd.
THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS FOR "BLESS YOUR HEART"
Love that.
Well bless your heart.
I have a name that’s uncommon in the US but popular in the Middle East. I work in healthcare and had a boomer patient stare at my name tag then ask where I was from. I said South Carolina to which he replied “you’re lying, you’ve gotta be from the Middle East.” I just stared at him and said no I’m not. “Well you look middle eastern” as he continued to stare at my name tag in disbelief. I’m very fair skinned with blonde hair and blue eyes. Boomers are weird.
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Oh god my mother did this. The radiation oncologist comes in to her hospital room and spends a significant amount of time explaining what was going on and what the plan was. He appeared to be South Asian, but spoke with the most country-ass southern (US) drawl. He finishes his spiel and asks if any of us have any questions. My mom? She asks “Where are you from?” He doesn’t skip a beat “Ma’am I am from Opelika Alabama.” I wanted to melt into the floor.
Reminds me of the comedian Henry Cho, he's a Korean dude who speaks with the most Southern accent EVER, I think he's from Texas.
Actually Tennessee. Saw him on a talk show years ago and the host asked if he was married. (He was young at the time). He said he wasn’t and that the problem was his mother wanted him to marry a Korean girl and the only one he knew was his sister and contrary to popular belief that wasn’t legal in Tennessee.
I worked in a nursing home and we had this volunteer who was middle eastern looking because I guess his ancestry was middle eastern. We had this resident, Helen, who asked him once where he’s from. He said “I’m from here Helen” and she said “no where are you *from*”. He said “*here*” and she goes “where are your parents from” and he said “also here” and she started getting salty and asked him again and he finally said “if you mean why am I brown it’s because my family is from Iran. But me and my parents are from here. Been here all our lives” Old people really be like that sometimes
I’m a Muslim woman who wears hijab, I’m mixed race (part Austrian) and my first name is “white”. People think I made up my name too. Like when I order coffee and tell them my name - that smirk. So annoying.
My grandma who is 100% white has a name originating from China because her mother read a book and loved the name. She goes by a more "white" sounding nickname but on official documents her full name is listed, obviously. She has said a lot of people expect her to be either Asian or Black and are shocked when she isn't either lol.
I feel that. My mom thought she made up my name, but it turns out it's a semi-popular name in India (I'm white American). I've had conversations with foreign telemarketers/call center operators who go off script to tell me about their relative(s) with my name.
My mom's name is Chandra (means "moon" in Sanskrit) - she's a white lady and that confuses people because it's a common Indian name.
Omg that’s so similar to my name it’s not even funny😭hi, Offspring of Chandra, I’m [Chandi](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chandi).
I know an Irish woman named Quinn who took her Chinese husband’s last name (it isn’t Chang, but it’s about as stereotypically Chinese as Chang). She says she gets the funniest looks when Quinn Chang shows up and is a pale blonde with blue eyes.
Is **Lee** White or Asian name?
Asking for my friend, Spike.
Lee is also a FFV (First Families of Virginia) surname. I had a friend who did telephone sales back in the ‘90’s who was told in training to never assume when talking to someone with the last name of Lee.
I've had the same thing with a boomer. My name has a much more common variant that is pronounced slightly differently, however both my name and variant are Biblical. I was at work, and introduced myself to this Boomer lady, and she said "No, your name is [variant]". I politely corrected her and pointed at my name badge. She insisted I didn't know my own name, and it must have been [variant]. I walked away and said to the receptionist someone else can help her as I won't.
Dawid?
No, not that, but very much along the Dawid/David lines. I couldn't think of an example without actually giving my name, which I don't want to do lol.
I just wanted to throw out all the ones I could think of for fun 😅 Sarai and Sarah, SAY-lah and SEE-lah (Selah), Benyamin and Benjamin, Ilia and Elijah, Marie and Mary and Maria, Ibrahim and Abraham, Levy and Levi, Nathanael and Nathaniel, Simeon and Simon, Steven and Stephen, Tomas and Thomas, Anna and Hannah, Joanna and Johanna
It is in that list lol. But it's actually pronounced Phteven.
Malachy?
Gezundheit
My name also has two variants, spelled the exact same but pronounced differently. I go by either because I hate constantly correcting people about it and also because the two names are false cognates and this amuses me. I once had an older coworker storm off in a huff because I refused to tell him which pronunciation was my “real” name. He didn’t talk to me at all for about two weeks and then refused to address me by name for the rest of the time we worked together. I was just “hey, you!” for three months.
I grew up in the 70s/80s, a blond haired blue eyed kid, in the South, with the name Taj. Trust me, this is not new or exclusive to Boomers. My Granny once complained about a girl named Lashawn's name being funny, and my mom told her, "That takes a lot of nerve coming from a woman named Burdeal."
On top of being racist, they're also insanely picky. I'm a white girl with a very ordinary name and I've gotten shit from Boomers. Why? Because it's not girly enough. I'm Sam. I've been Sam my whole life. My Mom named me Samantha with the intent of calling me Sam. She wanted me to have a bit of a boyish nickname (family tradition, I'll explain later). I never had a problem with my nice, simple, three-letter, one-sylable name. Until I started working retail and had my name clipped to my shirt for all the boomers to see. Ocer and over, older customers would smirk, like they discovered some big secret, and ask "short for Samantha, riiiiiight?" "Yeah, but Sam's fine." "But whhhyyyy, Samantha's sooooo much prettier!" "I just like it better. I've always been Sam." A number of them refused to accept it and would insist on calling me Samantha, over and over again, like they were trying to teach me my own name. A few of them actually held up my line and refused to leave until I gave them a good enough reason to not use my full name. I remember telling one that it was from my mom, who was named after her father and was Rickie her whole life. This lady gave me this horrified look and said, " Wow, you're mother must hate you!" All this over one of the most ordinary names. They will just never be happy.
I love the name Samantha for that exact reason, the gender neutral nickname Sam. I also LOVE the name Ashley for a boy, it used to be a boy name anyway and Ash is such a badass nickname.
The funniest part is, before all this, I never cared what name people used. If someone used my full name, it wasn't a big deal. But back then, people didn't mean anything by it, they were just reading the paperwork. But now that nosey old hags are starting fights over it, now it's a big deal. Now it's the name Mom gave me and, if they have a problem with it, they'll have a problem with me.
I’m the opposite! Everyone thinks that Samantha is my real name, but it’s not. People (often boomers) think they’re being real slick when they call me Samantha, then get irritated when I don’t answer to it. My parents picked my name because they like it; it’s as simple as that. I was so excited when The Ting Tings came out with the song That’s Not My Name. It feels like an anthem 😂
I can't tell you how temping it was to tell them that. Look up a really weird name that might shorten to Sam and give them that. The main thing stopping me was the fact that one of my managers really sucked up to these hags and always sided with them. Knowing my luck, she'd figure out about it and squeal on me.
Samael. Father of demons. That should be fun.
[удалено]
I usually wouldn't care that much either, except these customers were so pushy and hostile about it. Like it genuinely offended them to meet a woman that didn't have a super girly name.
Not the same, but most of the boomers I am introduced to immediately shorten my name to a common, old school version of it. I correct them every.damn.time.
I regularly have boomers tell me they won’t remember my name, or cannot pronounce so they are just going to call me (insert name here). Cool, just rename me, whatever. This was just the first time I had one try to convince that my name was not my name.
Same thing happened to me at a seasonal job, except it was a genx boss who decided to call me a different name for the entire summer instead of my actual name, even though the paperwork and schedule said my actual name. When she called the following year asking me to come back to work for her, I said no thanks. She asked why, and I explained I was accepted to graduate school and had an internship. She was super rude in response and implied I was a snob for going to graduate school instead of working a minimum wage seasonal job. It was the first time I ever experienced an adult putting me down for having career aspirations and made me realize that jealousy is a factor in people’s ignorance.
This is why they have such a problem with trans people! They can't even handle someone's name not being what *they* want it to be, much less gasp, their *gender*!
I was 26, very pregnant with my first. Having a family bbq with the (ex) in laws when FIL says “what are you going to name her. I was happy to tell them we would name her after my grandmother Chloe. There was a pause, he sort of twisted his face like he’d tasted something bad and said “why would you give her a n***** name?” One of the rare times in my life I was completely speechless.
Not quite as bad but when I was pregnant with my first in the late 80s, I told my grandfather I was thinking of Amanda. He tried to put me off saying Are you sure that's a black girls name. The kicker... his name was Leroy. Literally the only white man I've ever seen with that name. I love the name Chloe!!
My very white grandfather was Leroy as well!
Known every description of Amanda. Mostly middle class white girls.
WHAT
I had a friend named Nikki. Legally, since birth. Her mom wanted to name her Nikita, but went with something less uncommon. The amount of Boomers who refused to accept that this is her legal name is unreal. So many of them would call her *Nicole* to get her attention or to be condescending, and then get really mad when she NEVER responded to that name because it’s never been her name. For a generation that claims they never change their own names, they sure do spend a lot of time worrying about names. My mom is a Boomer who always wanted to change her name but never went through with it. I suspect a lot of them are like this and just angry that they don’t have the guts to make a change to their social presentation like younger generations do. The Generation ‘doth protest too much…
Can you just imagine the absolute shitstorm that would hit the world if we treated them the way they treat us?
“Are millennials ruining politeness? Click to find out!”
I’m Gen X. My name is Kerry. I was named this at the height of the name’s popularity (which wasn’t very high, I get that). I had a boomer roll her eyes at me once and comment about your generation (she thought I was a Millennial) always has to have special spellings of names. I was confused. Because my name is spelled exactly like it should be. No -ie at the end. I told her this. She rolled her eyes again and said, with an attitude like I was a child, it’s C-A-R-R-I-E. I laughed hard and said that’s not my name. It’s Kerry. It’s the anglicized name of the Gaelic name Ciarraí. It isn’t Carrie - and yes no matter how badly North Americans have merged vowels sounds it is said differently. She shook her head and said, “well I never heard of it before.” I said, “now you have! Look you learned something new today!”
my mum made up my name, and even though it’s very easy to read/pronounce, the amount of older people are say “are you sure” after i give them my name is astounding! even had an old woman say that my name was “too ethnic” to be my name (for reference i am a very pale ginger girl)
Boomers love the word "ethnic". The last time I heard a boomer use it to describe people of color I played dumb and got them to explain what they meant. I replied with "Oh... I just call them people..."
Perfection
"but you're white" HOLY SHIT, I'VE GOTTA GO FIND THAT LAMP, I STILL HAVE TWO MORE WISHES!!!!
Lol! I would so use that one to disarm bigots.
Ah, that explains my overwhelming sense of entitlement.
Well my parents were going to name me "Stupid racist boomer fuck", but that name was already taken.
I have one of the most basic of white names, and boomers still screw it up. Add about 4 extra syllables when they spell it (it's five letters). It's not a fancy version of a name. It's common, plain, standard, pretty much a perfect Boomer name to be honest. And they fuck it up. Nonstop.
“I AM?!!” 
“Kids these days changing their names to sound cooler!” Such a new thing! Surely a concept that wasnt around back in Marion Morrison’s day.
I once dated someone whose white mother had a Hispanic first name. Her parents had named her after a popular song from around the time she was born. When I was introducing my date at a family event, my boomer aunt groused about people giving "foreign" names to white babies. But my lovely grandparents (both greatest gen) just immediately started singing together. They remembered the song her name came from, even 50+ years later. It was so sweet. My grandma said, "She is so lucky to have such a lovely name. I've always liked that song."
My son is a white ‘Andre’ cuz his dad is French Canadian, but we live in Georgia. He gets a lot of ‘is your full name Andrew?’ His black football coach used to jokingly say, ‘It’s the white boy with the black boy name!’
I told someone my name as a server at a boomer restaurant and she the boomer paused then missaid my name on purpose
Omg my name is Tyrell and I’m white.. the things I’ve heard in my 34 years
He wanted to feel justified in his racism
“Your generation thought the best shortened choice for Richard was Dick so I’m not taking your advice.”
As a white passing person with an ethnic name, fuck that whole racist line of thinking
My name is Björn and you’d be surprised at how many old folks have called me “ Boner” or making my name sound like a fancy mustard. I usually just introduce myself as B 😂
This happened to me once at work, but I’m a freelancer and the person was a co-worker. I’m black/biracial and have a very ethnic European last name from my German dad… and one time a boomer male accused me “making up” my last name so that I would “get hired” more frequently. I was totally speechless… that was a new one for sure.
Just imagine how he talks to people who aren't white.
You should have finished with 
“I was born a poor black child.” -Steve Martin from the movie “The Jerk”.
I have an unusual spelling of an incredibly common name for millennial women, although the name itself is technically unisex (originally a masculine name). I’ve been asked what country I’m from, asked how it’s pronounced, told it’s not my name and told it’s “spelled black.” I’m white. My name is part of why I left customer service, and I’ll be changing it at some point. I have a cousin with an incredibly French name; her dad is a good ol’ Cajun boy. Her name starts with “La,” and she often gets the same thing. She kept her driver’s license in her pocket to randomly show to argumentative people at one point. At another point, she dropped $40 on two sets of business cards. The first simply said “yes, that’s my name” and the second set said “it’s Cajun French, and you’re a jackass.” She’d reach in one pocket and produce Card 1 at the initial disbelief and then produce Card 2 if they doubled down. She now goes by her middle name, a very common, “normal” name for an American woman in her 40s. As my grandmother likes to remind me, “you can’t fix stupid.”
I got a boomer coworker who refuses to spell my name right and is even convinced that the company directory has it wrong. I’ve repeatedly reminded him that’s not how my name is spelled but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ everyone thinks he’s just coasting till retirement and dgaf.
Him: “but you’re white!” Me: “I AM?!!!”
Oh my God, Karen, you can't just tell people they're white!!!!
I converted to Islam as an adult, but kept my “Christian” name. I’ve had all sorts of boomers refuse to accept that my name is my name. At this point, I just say, call me anything, but I answer to X. I’m not arguing about my own name.
im white. my (boomer) parents gave me a japanese middle name because they "liked how it sounded". whenever i have been in a situation where i needed to give my middle name to a boomer, they accused me of lying or trying to been "trans-racial" im not. my parents were just hippies and i just dont want the hassle of changing my middle name.
I’m very visibly Japanese and boomers have even complained to me about my first name lol
 \^ This dude probably
...........is it Bort?
Meanwhile half of white dudes are named after Israelites from the Bible and we all know they were lilly white amirite
My wife gets this exact thing. Old people will come in and tell her "you shouldn't have that name because you're not black." She's always just like "???" I've known about three other people with her name (Tamara, pronounced tam-uh-ruh). One of which was my aunt, and all of them have been white. Is it a southern trailer trash name? Yes. Is it an exclusively black name? No.
My boomer uncle Ken was mocking my daughters name and I went 'well you're named after a doll with no dick'. He was so pissed 😂
i would reply, "ACTUALLY..... MY NAME IS KUNTA KINTE!" and keep repeating it the boomer \*SHOULD\* know the movie Roots (starring LeVar Burton!), it was a TV miniseries back in 1977, when you watched what was on broadcast and you liked it. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9NNlztQPaA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9NNlztQPaA)
"Fuck you you dumb ass old fuck."
I get the same reactions to my name. It’s more Latin American in origin (I’m half but very white passing). I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m sure this dudes name is something super generic lol like Bob or John 😂
That is absolutely bewildering. Fascinating. I want to study this type of boomer under a microscope
My first name is only four letters and one syllable, but you’d think it was the most complicated word to have ever existed. My hairdresser just asked me what my ethnicity was, and since we’re both white I was a little confused. He indicated that because my first name “isn’t from around here” that I must be an immigrant I guess? I had to remind him that first names are chosen and aren’t always indicative of ethnicity or culture. It’s just a name my parents liked the sound of. That would be like assuming all people named Christian are, well, Christian (religious).
To the boomer: "Is your name fartknocker?"
My buddy is white and his name is Ra'Sean. We're in WV too. People lose their shit over it. His mom had a serious drug problem for what it's worth
Oh my God Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white