Breakups suck. I am going through a similar one where he decided to breakup without a real reason. There are two things that are killing me: 1) how they can walk away after making declarations of love and promises of forever 2) after talking every day, losing that best friend and not being able to have that person to talk to
I’m sorry you are going through that, I think for me what hurt the most was that even though he didn’t expect to break up on that day, he was thinking about it for weeks even and never openly communicated about his feelings, he was a good partner for the most part, cared and accepted me, I know he loves me, but apart of me felt he checked out of the relationship a long time ago. We were not the same people as when we met. He used to say we have so many more year together and alll that stuff, but he also said we were meant to meet. I feel like deep down we both knew it wasn’t going to last. For a moment I thought he was it. It was a good relationship until it wasn’t and he didn’t want to try anymore.
How you describe your ex sounds a lot like mine. It’s so confusing to me how they can walk away like that and decide not to try. I hear what you’re saying about realizing that it wasn’t going to work…I guess I still have doubts and am finding it hard to pinpoint the truth of it all
yes, and it’s hard to move on, when you don’t fight or have arguments. We rarely every fought and we really were best friends. I just like to believe that it’s over for good and we just weren’t meant to be in each other’s future or I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. A hard part is not realising when the last moment is, I wish I could cherish all the moment I had with him, especially in the beginning.
Right there with you. Their friends were my friends, and without them in my life I was left pretty high and dry. When they dumped me they told me they couldn’t be in a relationship with me because they needed to move and focus on themselves, which is fine, but it doesn’t make the fact that they don’t want to keep me in their life hurt any less.
The best advice I got from my therapist is take them at their word. Don’t try to glean any insight from them about what they could’ve meant by something, if they said it, assume they meant it exactly in that way. Don’t dwell. It’s easier said than done. But humans can survive just about anything less than being run over by a steamroller (That rough quote is from Albert Ellis), so you’ll survive this too. It’ll just take a while.
Feel free to reach out if you need anything!
thank you, you are right, I have to believe at the end of the day no matter what he said, he didn’t want me, he didn’t choose me. That’s it and that’s all.
Take it from someone who used to write about relationships/marriages/breakups for years-this ex of yours sounds like an asshole. He sounds particularly cold even when it's not necessary. I'd be happy if I were you that this guy is no longer your love interest and let him go. Believe me, there are guys that are a million times better than this one. I'd cut him off completely.
It didn't just take him a minute to accept the breakup. This was already happening months before he could speak the words. For now, do things that make you happy. Anything that brings you a mini burst of happiness, do it! I know it's hard to be happy right now but look for different ways to boost your mood. Just remember, you won't always feel this way. Eventually, a new guy/girl will come along and make you fall in love again. I wish you the best! And if you have any other questions, feel free to DM. Like I said, I used to write about this stuff so I can help you out if you need!
Take their reasons with a pinch of salt.
The only thing that mattered is the explanation that he's not in love with you anymore. Only that is true.
"he said he can’t have a relationship rn and can’t have time for me anymore due to his busy schedule and him not having time for himself."
All other reasons are nonsense, lies to try to let you down gently.
If he is really so busy, too busy for a relationship, then logically, he would never be able to have future relationships with anyone else. Clearly, that is not the case. Time will tell.
Just cut contact, and remember that they have been lying about their feelings for months and finally mustering enough courage to carry out the break up.
yeah, talked to him yesterday and found out that 2 days after our break up he doesn’t love me at all and doesn’t want me anymore. It’s enough to move on
Breakups suck. I am going through a similar one where he decided to breakup without a real reason. There are two things that are killing me: 1) how they can walk away after making declarations of love and promises of forever 2) after talking every day, losing that best friend and not being able to have that person to talk to
I’m sorry you are going through that, I think for me what hurt the most was that even though he didn’t expect to break up on that day, he was thinking about it for weeks even and never openly communicated about his feelings, he was a good partner for the most part, cared and accepted me, I know he loves me, but apart of me felt he checked out of the relationship a long time ago. We were not the same people as when we met. He used to say we have so many more year together and alll that stuff, but he also said we were meant to meet. I feel like deep down we both knew it wasn’t going to last. For a moment I thought he was it. It was a good relationship until it wasn’t and he didn’t want to try anymore.
How you describe your ex sounds a lot like mine. It’s so confusing to me how they can walk away like that and decide not to try. I hear what you’re saying about realizing that it wasn’t going to work…I guess I still have doubts and am finding it hard to pinpoint the truth of it all
yes, and it’s hard to move on, when you don’t fight or have arguments. We rarely every fought and we really were best friends. I just like to believe that it’s over for good and we just weren’t meant to be in each other’s future or I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. A hard part is not realising when the last moment is, I wish I could cherish all the moment I had with him, especially in the beginning.
Yeah definitely. Thank u
Right there with you. Their friends were my friends, and without them in my life I was left pretty high and dry. When they dumped me they told me they couldn’t be in a relationship with me because they needed to move and focus on themselves, which is fine, but it doesn’t make the fact that they don’t want to keep me in their life hurt any less. The best advice I got from my therapist is take them at their word. Don’t try to glean any insight from them about what they could’ve meant by something, if they said it, assume they meant it exactly in that way. Don’t dwell. It’s easier said than done. But humans can survive just about anything less than being run over by a steamroller (That rough quote is from Albert Ellis), so you’ll survive this too. It’ll just take a while. Feel free to reach out if you need anything!
thank you, you are right, I have to believe at the end of the day no matter what he said, he didn’t want me, he didn’t choose me. That’s it and that’s all.
Take it from someone who used to write about relationships/marriages/breakups for years-this ex of yours sounds like an asshole. He sounds particularly cold even when it's not necessary. I'd be happy if I were you that this guy is no longer your love interest and let him go. Believe me, there are guys that are a million times better than this one. I'd cut him off completely. It didn't just take him a minute to accept the breakup. This was already happening months before he could speak the words. For now, do things that make you happy. Anything that brings you a mini burst of happiness, do it! I know it's hard to be happy right now but look for different ways to boost your mood. Just remember, you won't always feel this way. Eventually, a new guy/girl will come along and make you fall in love again. I wish you the best! And if you have any other questions, feel free to DM. Like I said, I used to write about this stuff so I can help you out if you need!
Take their reasons with a pinch of salt. The only thing that mattered is the explanation that he's not in love with you anymore. Only that is true. "he said he can’t have a relationship rn and can’t have time for me anymore due to his busy schedule and him not having time for himself." All other reasons are nonsense, lies to try to let you down gently. If he is really so busy, too busy for a relationship, then logically, he would never be able to have future relationships with anyone else. Clearly, that is not the case. Time will tell. Just cut contact, and remember that they have been lying about their feelings for months and finally mustering enough courage to carry out the break up.
yeah, talked to him yesterday and found out that 2 days after our break up he doesn’t love me at all and doesn’t want me anymore. It’s enough to move on