Hey, a lot of us on here are in a similar place. It’s normal to feel exhausted, betrayed, and/or nothing at all. I’d recommend reaching out to a trusted friend(s) who you can feel safe with, confide in them about where you’re at, or simply just go exist with another person.
Try to distract yourself if you need to. Shows, movies, video games, going out, anything. If your heart and mind is too tired for that, then just cry. Tears are the words the heart can’t speak. Sit with your emotions and just know that this shall pass, and you will be happy again.
You’re not replaceable or forgettable or anything. Your ex has a different way of coping, maybe the fling is an attempt to move on. I’m sure they’re not having an easy time either, but it’s an indication that nothing they do is connected to you and it give you the space to heal, move on, and find someone you can love again and be loved by in the way you want.
Hope this helps. Reach out if you need to, I’m here!
thank you so much for this reply!! this helped with my thinking of my situation a bit.
its just frustrating that i had to experience the feeling of being cheated on? i only loved him but i get that in return. it really hurts.
now, i think about both of them getting happy and it just makes me feel nauseous. my head and body gets hot. my body feels weird.
my mind goes blank sometimes and i just feels lost still. im trying to get my thinking right again but its kinda taking quite a while since its still really fresh.
Did they start the fling whilst with you? I really hope I didn’t misread the situation.
If not, then seeing someone who you loved, and thought loved you back, with someone else so quickly can be like your hearts been set on fire. I understand since I’m in the same position. Every time I think about them with someone else or in a potential post break up hoe phase, my heart hurts. No one likes being replaced. It feels like a confirmation that your value or importance in their life was never as much as theirs was in your life. Plainly, it feels like rejection.
There’s all these questions that we don’t have the answers to, so our brain jumps to the most negative conclusions to give us answers. Which is why we end up feeling this way. But at the end of the day, these are just assumptions and you won’t know exactly what their grieving/healing/moving on process is.
Take comfort in not knowing. It clears out time for you to heal in YOUR way. It sounds like you have a huge heart so use the love you have for them and just let them go. If they’re happy with someone else it’s okay, because you’ll be with someone who couldn’t even fathom being with anyone but you. They won’t let you get to the point where you are right now. And if the fling is to distract themselves, know that one day they will have to face their emotions as well. Your ex will have to go through the process too, and at that point the thought of who they’re with won’t even cross your mind.
You’ll be fine with out them. You were fine before you met them and you’ll be fine after the storm calms. I promise. ♥️
I'm going through my first and what feels like only heartbreak. I don't think I want to or could be with another man. My heart is shattered and I always feel like crying or just... doing nothing. Being nothing. I'm in this horrible sad place and it feels like I'll never come out. I don't know if this is what you need to hear but .. it's weirdly comforting to know that others are going through it sometimes.
This sucks. I'm sorry you're going through it.
Hey, a lot of us on here are in a similar place. It’s normal to feel exhausted, betrayed, and/or nothing at all. I’d recommend reaching out to a trusted friend(s) who you can feel safe with, confide in them about where you’re at, or simply just go exist with another person. Try to distract yourself if you need to. Shows, movies, video games, going out, anything. If your heart and mind is too tired for that, then just cry. Tears are the words the heart can’t speak. Sit with your emotions and just know that this shall pass, and you will be happy again. You’re not replaceable or forgettable or anything. Your ex has a different way of coping, maybe the fling is an attempt to move on. I’m sure they’re not having an easy time either, but it’s an indication that nothing they do is connected to you and it give you the space to heal, move on, and find someone you can love again and be loved by in the way you want. Hope this helps. Reach out if you need to, I’m here!
thank you so much for this reply!! this helped with my thinking of my situation a bit. its just frustrating that i had to experience the feeling of being cheated on? i only loved him but i get that in return. it really hurts. now, i think about both of them getting happy and it just makes me feel nauseous. my head and body gets hot. my body feels weird. my mind goes blank sometimes and i just feels lost still. im trying to get my thinking right again but its kinda taking quite a while since its still really fresh.
Did they start the fling whilst with you? I really hope I didn’t misread the situation. If not, then seeing someone who you loved, and thought loved you back, with someone else so quickly can be like your hearts been set on fire. I understand since I’m in the same position. Every time I think about them with someone else or in a potential post break up hoe phase, my heart hurts. No one likes being replaced. It feels like a confirmation that your value or importance in their life was never as much as theirs was in your life. Plainly, it feels like rejection. There’s all these questions that we don’t have the answers to, so our brain jumps to the most negative conclusions to give us answers. Which is why we end up feeling this way. But at the end of the day, these are just assumptions and you won’t know exactly what their grieving/healing/moving on process is. Take comfort in not knowing. It clears out time for you to heal in YOUR way. It sounds like you have a huge heart so use the love you have for them and just let them go. If they’re happy with someone else it’s okay, because you’ll be with someone who couldn’t even fathom being with anyone but you. They won’t let you get to the point where you are right now. And if the fling is to distract themselves, know that one day they will have to face their emotions as well. Your ex will have to go through the process too, and at that point the thought of who they’re with won’t even cross your mind. You’ll be fine with out them. You were fine before you met them and you’ll be fine after the storm calms. I promise. ♥️
Hey, you’re not alone, if you need someone to talk to I’m here!
I dont know what im feeling. Im just tired of everything.
I'm going through my first and what feels like only heartbreak. I don't think I want to or could be with another man. My heart is shattered and I always feel like crying or just... doing nothing. Being nothing. I'm in this horrible sad place and it feels like I'll never come out. I don't know if this is what you need to hear but .. it's weirdly comforting to know that others are going through it sometimes. This sucks. I'm sorry you're going through it.